Monthly Archives: June 2023

The Trip to Bountiful Review

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It’s time for a movie that is pleasant enough but also supremely annoying. The ending isn’t at satisfying as the movie would have you believe and that’s because there just isn’t a reason to believe that things will be different. One character in particular is a massive pushover and looks awful the whole time. Seriously you do not want him in your corner because at the end of the day he’s really not going to do anything for you. He’ll just bow to peer pressure and then that’s the end of that.

The film starts off with introducing us to Carrie who has had to live through a rather unpleasant home environment for quite a while now. Her son Ludie has been completely dominated by his wife Jessie to the point where he will do all her bidding and never sticks up for his own mother. Jessie keeps on taking Carrie’s retirement checks and forbids her from doing basic things like singing hymns. She has also forbidden Carrie from ever going back to her real home. Carrie finally has enough of this and slips away during one sunny afternoon. She has a headstart now but is older and she’s heading for a town so small that most people don’t even know about it anymore. Will she be able to make it or will she be captured by Jessie? The clock is ticking and time is definitely not on her side.

Okay so the main annoying thing here is how much Ludie lets Jessie get away with. The guy is absolutely spineless for the entirety of the film to the point where I would call him an antagonist. When you just stand by and let your mother get picked on then you’re basically guilty in that respect. Ultimately when you’re married it is expected that your significant other will become the #1 priority in your life but you should still be able to see reason enough to stand up for yourself and call that person out when the wrong calls are being made.

This did not feel like a healthy or balanced relationship. Instead Ludie was basically just getting bullied the whole time and it’s a really bad look. It’s a massive L for this guy. Then of course you have Jessie who is still the main antagonist here. It’s crazy how she shamelessly takes the money and constantly barks out orders. She’s a very toxic person and one who shows no real signs of changing which is why the ending doesn’t land. Any scene with her is annoying and you just feel like the movie doesn’t really do anything to have her own up to her crimes. That’s really the biggest problem with her. If the film had acknowledged this…then okay fine I can get behind that. But since they don’t, that’s where the issues really come up.

Finally we have Carrie who is doing her best to get back home. She is very old during this adventure so that does put her at a big disadvantage. She also ends up succumbing to Jessie’s demands most of the time to please Ludie which is too bad since I’d like her to take a firmer stance. Ultimately it would bring more trouble but apologizing when you’re not the one at fault has always been a real annoying thing. You just shouldn’t have to do that under any circumstances.

There is one main side character here in Thelma who was a really nice character. She did her best to look out for Carrie during the bus ride as well as when they were at the bus stop. I actually thought she was going to be around for the whole film but ultimately she was just there for part of the journey. Her appearance was very appreciated though as she helped Carrie through a tough period and it would have been a lot tougher if Carrie was on her own. Ultimately Thelma was the highlight of the movie for just being a kind person in a movie where everyone else seemed rather cruel for no reason. Even the Sheriff took forever and a day to help Carrie out when giving her a simple drive seemed like a no brainer.

I’m also glad the film didn’t have Carrie die when she made it home, like she had just been hanging on until she got there. That definitely would have been real unfortunate. As I mentioned earlier this ending still isn’t perfect like with how the villains don’t really pay for their crimes. That’s something that really should have been fixed through and through. I wanted Carrie to insist she stays in town or just move off on her own. Even bolder, have Jessie leave, those would have all been more satisfying endings.

Instead the ending is basically that things will eventually work out and they all just have to take it. Pretty bad message if you ask me because none of it was Carrie’s fault. It’s the classic “We’re all a little at fault I guess” kind of ending that I never agree with. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s issues and we saw nothing in the film to even suggest that Carrie was being a problem in any way. Throughout the film she was the one doing her best through and through.

That’s really the sore point of the film and what keeps it from getting a higher film. It just feels like the whole thing wasn’t fair at all and Carrie effectively got penalized for just being a nice person. That’s no good. If you watch this film, just get ready to be annoyed a whole lot because Carrie just trying to visit her home is something that should be a simple matter and not something she has to ask permission for. The whole thing is just bonkers.

Overall, This movie is still supposed to be more of a feel good title, but it forgot the feels good parts. If it was a little more upbeat and fun then I think we’d be having a very different conversation here. As it stands that just wasn’t in the cards and I can think of many better films to watch if you want to feel good. It’s time for this movie to instead be lost in the years of time.

Overall 4/10

The Beguiled Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If I saw this film in the theaters my disappointment would have been immeasurable and my day ruined. Look at this poster above? It’s a great poster and would get you hyped up for the movie. Now this is an excellent wild west adventure with some action right? Well the movie is anything but that. There are no true fight scenes here and instead we have a super awful main character and a bunch of bad side characters as well. Definitely a film that you will want to stay far away from without a doubt.

The movie starts off with John getting injured and a little girl notices him outside of her school. The headmistress reluctantly takes him in and they figure they should nurse him back to health before turning him over to the authorities. This film takes place during the civil war and the school is in the south while John is from the North. As a result their duty officially is to turn him over right away but they feel like this would not be just. So instead they are keeping him around and John figures that this is his chance to get away. His grand master plan is to seduce all of them and take over the school. The problem is…he’s succeeding. Can anyone stop him?

This is just a very mean spirited movie from start to finish. All of the characters are either corrupt or get corrupted as the events fly by. John isn’t a likable character and to the film’s defense he is the main antagonist so they’re not trying to make him likable. Whenever he shows up you’re just going to groan and he’s around for the entire film. Basically the guy has absolutely no shame in manipulating the emotions of the women there. The film is also going for the extra gritty points here by adding in two crazy additions to the plot. The first is that one of the girls is only 17.

Yeah the film went out of its way to confirm this just to make that whole plot even more awful. The film was morally bankrupt by this point. Then we see that Martha had an inappropriate relationship growing up and the less said on that the better. None of these additions do anything to improve the film or service the plot. They are only here for shock value and to remind you of what a trainwreck this movie is. At the end of the day that’s all this is and a film isn’t going to survive with this low level writing.

Shock value doesn’t work for more than a second but does lasting harm to the film. Just like that, all of the characters are ruined. John would have been ruined either way with how exaggerated he is and all the affairs he’s pulling off. The guy lies, cheats, and does whatever he can to survive all so he can avoid the war which makes him a true villain. Then the movie isn’t satisfied and also has him murder an animal just to let this all sink home. Oof that was bad.

The film really made sure that it fell into every possible cinematic landmine. The worst part is that despite this, Edwina doesn’t totally go against John. Yes she gets mad at him during several points of the film but by the end she seems to have actually forgiven him. I was shellshocked. See, the whole time I thought she was planning some kind of grand murder scheme and was just acting the part. See, that would actually make a lot of sense but the film doesn’t go this route. No, instead she got stockholm syndrome I guess and actually liked him.

At least the ending of the film is very satisfying. I got really worried that there would be a cop out at the end like the girl didn’t pick the right mushrooms but fortunately that doesn’t happen. Everything happens as it should and in a way John probably gets off a bit lighter than needed. Still, I’ll accept the outcome and while the film may have been beyond saving by that point anyway, it was a start. I was still glad to see this outcome at least.

It goes without saying that Martha’s a pretty bad character too despite trying to have a holier than thou attitude. She had a lot of issues of her own and a very troubled past. Martha also went out of her way to get even with John despite all of the excuses that she had afterwards. She absolutely knew what she was doing every step of the way and I don’t think anything could convince me otherwise. This is just who she was through and through. Edwina comes across as incredibly naïve and too emotional. The ending of the film hurt her big time as a result. Then Carol was also really annoying in her constant attempts to seduce John. This even eventually went all the way up to blackmail which was crazy and made her a full antagonist as well.

Yeah this film’s definitely no fun and you should stay far away. The film even has the southern soldiers show up at one point and then heavily imply that they were creeps as well. The scene that almost happens which the film kept hinting at was really not needed. The movie is so concerned with being edgy that it forgets to have a real plot and that’s the worst part about the film. You definitely could have tried to make a decent flick out of this even after you changed the basic plot and made the characters more likable. Instead it’s all just absurd and not in a fun way.

Overall, The film may have a satisfying ending but that doesn’t take away from the unlikable cast and all of the unnecessary elements of the film. I’s hard to get past those and ultimately the movie doesn’t have any fun. It’s definitely a hard film to finish and has below average pacing. Stick away from this one and watch something a lot more fun like the Tom & Jerry movie instead. That one will keep you entertained.

Overall 0/10

St Elmo’s Fire Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a particularly brutal film. When you think of a dramatic romance film this is the kind of title that comes to mind because it’s so over the top that you’re going to be cringing a whole lot. None of the characters are likable in the slightest and the whole thing is like an out of control fire. Trust me you’re going to want to stay far away from this one.

The movie starts by introducing us to a group of teenagers. They have a very complicated interpersonal relationship structure going on. They’re having affairs with each other, living their life, and crushing hearts all at the same time. After graduating school they figure they can still be friends but that is quickly found to be impossible. There are just too many relationship dramas going on and for at least one character it may even be life threatening. Is there any way to salvage this?

All the characters here are awful but I guess we should still break this down a bit. First up is Kirby who is a super desperate guy. He likes one girl who basically never gives him the time of day but each time he thinks he can win her over. He always overanalyzes what she says and now thinks that he needs to get rich and then she’ll go out with him. Of course he should ask himself why he is chasing after her like this. If she is only going to get together with him if he’s rich…then is that really love? Of course there are some conversations online about how gold digging is actually really good and the strongest bond but I feel like that is mostly hopium and not rooted in any facts. Regardless this guy is extremely annoying. Kirby has a lot of competition for worst character along with all his friends but the guy doesn’t do himself any favors.

Then you have Jules who is trying to have an affair with her boss but things aren’t going so well. She’s also leading on another guy who is having troubles of his own and ultimately this leads to her getting really depressed and nearly ending it all. It’s definitely a rough situation all around and while she may have dug herself into this situation, you do feel bad for her. It’s just that the whole movie is so overly dramatic that it all doesn’t hit as well. Even while she is about to die, her “friends” are fighting with each other and one nearly gets thrown off the building. Not a good look right?

The problem is that they’re all cheating on each other with others so it’s only natural that none of them can trust each other. Then there’s Billy who is really messing around by being with everyone and has gone in with the wrong crowd. He’s way too off the deep end and has a bad attitude about everything. Even when characters try to help him out and get him a job he has no gratitude. You can’t really help a character like that.

There’s Wendy who is the nice character but ultimately she makes a lot of mistakes in the relationships as well and cracks by the end. Honestly the best thing you can do in this situation is to get away from the other characters as fast as possible. I dare say that almost anyone would be dragged into the mud along with them after enough exposure. It’s why it’s so important to choose your friends wisely because otherwise you will just begin to get corrupted as a person as well and then there is no coming back from that. I mean you can come back from that but of course it gets difficult.

There are a bunch of other teenagers here but ultimately the characters are going to start blending together. They’re already sounding a bit similar in the summaries above right? Well one last one to put a spotlight on is Kevin because he’s particularly bad. So he fell in love with Leslie a long time ago but never had enough courage to mention this so he’s basically been her “friend” for ages. Finally he gets drunk enough to confess and they have a quick affair but the whole thing is basically a summation of the worst Hollywood romance tropes.

First off you have the classic idea that any “friend” is always secretly looking to get together with you the instant that you drop your guard. That was definitely rough here, like really? Then the girl was easy enough where they did have a fling which ends up adding a lot of tension since her other boyfriend shows up later on. Ultimately if you like your friend like that then you have to confess early on or keep the secret to the grave. If you stretch it out then you’re basically taking advantage since all the times you were hanging out platonically, it wasn’t actually platonic. This guy just felt way too whiny the whole time.

Needless to say I didn’t find the writing in the film to be particularly impressive. With no likable characters to root for, the film was always going to be very limited in what it could pull off. You need at least one great character around or else the whole thing’s kind of pointless. There’s a ton of drama here but all of the problems are basically self inflicted wounds by the characters in putting themselves in these scenarios. The film starts to drag and it goes without saying that the romances here are awful. In short the movie doesn’t give you any real reason to enjoy it.

Overall, I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. The whole film is a fire in a sense so I guess I can give them some props for living up to the premise but that’s it. There are no redeeming factors about the movie and at no point will you be entertained. This one desperately needs a remake from the ground up that changes everything about it, but at that point it’s basically a different film anyway.

Overall 1/10

Conrad Leto vs Asta

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This is a tribute to the Black Clover film. I enjoyed Conrad quite a lot as the villain but ultimately he will not be able to take Asta down. Conrad can throw up as many portals and energy attacks as possible but they just won’t be able to tag a fighter as quick as Asta. Asta’s current form is just so fast and so powerful that he would be able to end this fight in an instant. He has really grown over the years. Asta wins.

Princia Funnybunny vs Esdeath

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Princia is a really powerful fighter and one who really stands out. When she appeared I thought of Esdeath right away for some reason but their power levels aren’t very equal. Princia is considerably faster and while her army may be susceptible to the cold, they can slow Esdeath down. No amount of reaction times are going to be enough to hold their own here. This is the Wizard King’s match to win all the way. Princia Funnybunny wins.

Conrad Leto vs Raphaello

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Raphaello is a super powerful monster that can overwhelm most fighters with how many heads and fast attacks he has. Ultimately that won’t be enough against a super powerful fighter like Conrad Leto though. Conrad Leto has enough magic power to counter this creature and the speed needed to dodge him. It’s why I ultimately have to give him the edge here. He became a Wizard King for good reason after all. He definitely won’t be going down easily, it’s just not in the cards for him. Conrad Leto wins.

Black Clover: Sword of the Wizard King Review

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I’ve been waiting ages for this film. When they first announced that Black Clover was finally getting a movie I was definitely hyped. This is one of the best franchises out there and the king of Shonen Jump. There’s a reason why we call it G.O.A.T. Clover. Getting that on a movie budget was certain to be an all star product and the film does not disappoint in any way. It’s basically a lock for film of the year so you can basically skip everything else. Nothing’s touching this and now I just need to wait until we get the next season already.

The movie starts by showing Conrad’s fight against the magic knights. He puts up a terrific fight but ultimately Julius manages to take him down with time magic and he’s locked away. Julius’ eyes even flash black for an instant when he uses his ultimate spell which was intense. We fast forward 10 years to where a tournament is being held and Yuno will finally be able to fight against Asta. Ultimately this isn’t to be though as Conrad shows up in the present along with 3 other Wizard Kings from the past. The 4 of them have decided to destroy the entire world so that they can remake it as a better one. Asta won’t let this happen though and he commands the magic knights to unite and fight. Can they really defeat a whole squad of Wizard Kings though?

One of the hype parts about this of course is that the enemies are all Wizard Kings. They’re characters who are well fleshed out with their own goals and desires as well as being ultra powerful. To become the Wizard King you need an incredible amount of power after all so it’s not like just anyone can do this. Sort of like how I said Naruto surpassed the Hokage at least by the Pain arc at worst, Ichigo surpassed the Captains by the early part of the Arrancar saga, and Luffy surpassed the admirals by Marineford, I would say Asta surpassed the Captains fairly early on. You could say Yami is an exception but he wipes everyone else out pre time skip. Now this is where the rubber meets the road and we can see exactly how that turns out.

The movie doesn’t cop out with their abilities either and each king looks fantastically strong. Sure they do have the advantage of unlimited mana thanks to the super sword running around but even without that their individual techniques are on point. The movie is close to 2 hours and almost the whole thing is the big fight scene. This is what I love to see, the pacing is nonstop with action around every corner. Not every movie could handle something like that and it’s fairly rare because a lot of time you still need to develop the OC characters and have a lot of time to regroup. Here you hit the ground running.

There are numerous times in each fight where the villain or hero is about to lose and then the second wind comes in. That’s super hype to be sure because these Wizard Kings have determination on their side as well. They’re not going to give up so the heroes have to completely put them down. I’ll go more into their goals later on although it’s not as convincing of a case as even someone like Thanos. It’s a more surface level argument for world peace that doesn’t have too much nuance since the film makers likely didn’t want you to doubt the heroes at all. Probably for the best but of course the side effect is that these Wizard Kings do feel a little crazy.

Another really strong part of the film is the animation. Even outside of the fight scenes everyone looks really crisp. The character models are really on point and this is a full 2023 film on all sides. It’s just great how smooth everything is and it’s the kind of film I could quickly re-watch right now. The replay value is incredible and the choreography is on point. The super form for the main villain is also great and they didn’t hold back on the beam effects. By the end this feels like something out of DBZ.

Then we have the soundtrack and I think it goes without saying that this is going to be another 10/10 ost. You have the insert song from the anime, a song that I believe was new, and then a ton of battle themes. The soundtrack is very fast paced which fits the film since it was very fast paced as well. The production values were really high throughout and of course the writing and story is very good as well. Asta gets his usual inspirational moments and Noelle also gets her moments to shine. You can’t help but be inspired during their speeches.

Okay so lets talk about the villains. First up is the main villain Conrad. So he wants to make the world more equal because he’s seen how mean the nobles are in how they pick on the commoners. They murder, insult, humiliate, and basically enslave those without magic and right now the kingdom isn’t doing much to change that. As he’s mentioned there have been incremental improvements but it’s always small things and the world itself doesn’t change much. The main TV show has delved into this as well and so he figures that at this point they just need to end the world. It does mean to an extent that he did give up though.

Now you do get it because in a lot of cases things don’t always get a lot better even when the hero wins in the end. Look at all the crazy stuff that still goes on in Naruto. I do think Asta will do a better job of changing everything because that has been such a huge topic in the forefront as opposed to being a subplot but yeah that’s Conrad’s ideal and motive for this. I liked that Asta also engaged him on the actual points of this like how nobody will accept the end result after watching their comrades die in front of them.

Even if you could absolutely guarantee world peace, if it involves a massive genocide like this, then it will never end up convincing people. You’re doing more than cracking a few eggs, you’re basically just being the villain. At the end of the day I’m always about saving the 1 person over the 100 as a philosophy. You must never sacrifice anyone and of course this isn’t even a subtle case, it’s just him murdering a whole ton of people and so you’ll never waver as you root for Asta. I’m sure that each of the Wizard Kings saw some super twisted things in order for them to agree with Conrad like this but at the end of the day it all comes down to them losing hope and giving up when they shouldn’t have.

Conrad’s abilities are pretty handy with his key magic. It feels a little broken if anything with how long range it is but that’s probably why he became the King. It may not be fair but having a super cool ability gives you a huge push towards becoming the Wizard King and that’s how it’s always been. His final form is epic and the whole time he really puts up a good fight. He has a solid plan as well and shows good tactics throughout the film. I’ve said this a few times already but the movie never forgets that these are Wizard Kings that we’re dealing with and so they get a lot of respect.

The only Wizard King who was a bit off was Jester. Mainly because this guy just seems super evil and unstable the whole time. Sure he agrees with the plan for probably the same reasons but he just feels evil throughout. His dialogue is what you would expect from the Midnight Sun, not someone who used to be the leader. His abilities are still really handy with the barriers though. Barriers have a whole lot of positives to them like how agile you can make them. They’re flexible and can keep on adapting to attacks. This guy really doesn’t give up either and from all of the Wizard Kings you could make the case that he’s the only one to never really lose. He could have absolutely kept on going.

Then there is Princia who I dare say is the most powerful out of all the Wizard Kings. Take away amps like the swords and put all of them together in a fair fight and I’m going with her. First off she can summon an army of really powerful fighters and then once you get past them, it turns out that she is a close quarters fighter as well who can hold her own with the country’s strongest, Mereoleona. The fact that the fight was so close there really showed off what she could do. I don’t think any of the others would have been able to have held their own in quite the same way. She was also a fun character and had a solid personality. You could actually see why she was a good person at one point and ultimately just got jaded.

Finally we have Edward who is probably the weakest. Mainly because he relies on summons and ice but has nothing else once you get past that. This is relative of course, he’s still an incredibly powerful Wizard King but not as intimidating as the others. He has a good code of honor and isn’t just going crazy with power so I can really respect that. He has a good exchange with Noelle and ultimately keeps his honor to the end. He doesn’t crack or go crazy at the end which is really good because a King should maintain grace to the end.

As for the heroes, everyone gets something to do here but of course some get more screen time than anything. For the Black Bulls, I thought Finral actually looked really solid here. His reaction times were good enough to block a hit from Conrad and he was critical throughout in getting the heroes out of danger. Of course Noelle looks fantastic in showing off her high power level and also making an impassioned speech to remind Edward of what he stood for. Noelle doesn’t give up and the series continues to do a great job of keeping her in the same conversation as Yuno and Asta.

The various captains all get to fight but Yami is really the only one with a sizable role and even then it’s a bit smaller than you would expect. He doesn’t look quite as powerful as you might think as well but I guess at this point he’s finally being surpassed. His fans should still be satisfied with his appearance here. Mereoleona looks excellent as expected. She’s the most impressive grownup here from the heroes side. Her powers continue to get more and more intense every time she fights and it’s clear that she has no upper limit. She will just continue to fight until the end and almost no other character can burn as brightly.

Yuno looks great here as well as he saves Asta on more than one occasion and keeps going after the villains. He has enough stamina to outlast all of the Captains as well. I would say that even in the film it feels like Asta has left him in the dust to an extent because Yuno just doesn’t have the KO power that Asta has but his normal abilities are still do good that he can continue to hold his own. As always I like Yuno’s confidence and his positive rivalry with Asta. They really do a good job of building each other up as always.

Finally I’ve already talked about Asta but just to confirm he is amazing as always. His speeches really land and he’s the kind of guy that you want to represent your kingdom. He’s the last to go down and will keep trying to make the world a better place. Naturally there are a ton of other character helping out including a cameo so watch it for yourself to see all the fun characters. This feels like a true event movie in the best ways with how high the stakes are.

Now lets talk about the negatives of the film. Well…yeah I had no issues with the film so that’s it for this section.

Overall, Sword of the Wizard King is a film that I highly recommend you check out. They did a fantastic job of showcasing the skills of all the heroes while establishing these villains as top tier threats. The Clover Kingdom is so loaded with powerful fighters that the enemies have to be able to hold these own and that wasn’t a problem for these guys. The movie really goes by in an instant so you need to watch this as soon as possible. The only rough part is having to wait for the next product which can still take a while but hopefully not too long. When the series comes back though, I will be ready!

Overall 9/10

Jai West vs Flash (Barry)

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This is a tribute to the Flash film. Ultimately Barry did good in the fights and doing what he needed to in order to stop the threats. I didn’t agree with all of his actions but he didn’t look bad. Poor Jai West will be taking an L here. He comes up right away when you google who the slowest speedster in DC is, which is kind of sad for the kid. I’m sure he’s decent but Flash does win in pretty much every stat. Flash (Barry) wins.

The Flash Review

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All right folks it’s time to talk about the Flash. This film was getting quite a lot of hype for the Batmen and Supergirl appearing. You could say that the guest stars were the main draws in this one and it is deserved since they all upstage the Flash. This ends up being a good movie but unfortunately that’s about where it ends because this film had the longest amount of dead time I’ve seen in a CBM. The long middle act really ends up limiting its potential.

The movie starts with Flash saving the city while Batman saves the world and it’s a pretty solid way to kick things off. It felt like the intro to a Justice League episode. Flash then gets the idea to go back in time to save his mother and in turn save his father from being falsely accused of murdering her. So the Flash pulls this off and saves her but now the timeline is going in a rather odd direction. Will he be able to fix this new timeline or will he have to become the ultimate villain and let his mother die?

Fans who know of the Flashpoint event from the comics or the previous animated movie will likely know a lot of the story beats right out of the gate and I’d say most people seemed to figure out the villain right from the trailer so this isn’t about the twists so much as it’s about the adventure. There is one twist that I didn’t see coming involving the main Flash and his powers since the trailers cleverly hid/misdirected from this but unfortunately that’s actually one of the biggest issues in the film. There are a lot of things I can’t really talk about without getting into spoiler territory so I’ll leave that for the end.

The special effects here are really solid. They do a good job with the lightning bolts from the Flash costume and with the slow mo. The fights with Zod have some good sound barrier blows although the fights are noticeably a step below Black Adam and Man of Steel so the director/producer need to work on showing off the power levels a bit better for the next one. The costumes and visuals are good so I have no complaints here. The soundtrack is also good with a lot of variety among the hero themes and of course some really solid ones from the past as well. It’s effectively like a big crossover track selection which makes sense for the movie.

The whole climax is pretty solid on the action front even if they do fumble the ball with some decisions by the end. The ending’s definitely not good but I’ll delve into that in the ending segment. Unfortunately the after credits scene is also one of the weakest ones I’ve seen. You won’t even break into a smile while it plays and the whole time you were waiting for something big to happen. It’s not as disappointing as the after credit scene involving Venom where he teleported again but this was still very lackluster. They could have shown Zoom, Reverse Flash, Savitar, or some other really hype character. Instead…well you’ll see it when you see it.

The film works as a Flash origin story to an extent as they manage to squeeze that in while we learn more about his past. It’s an origin you’ve pretty much pictured all the way through but that part’s not bad even if it lacks the mystery and mystique that you’re used to from it. The way we don’t see much of who actually bumped off the mother does lead me to believe that eventually they’re still going to set up the real culprit. It’s just going to be a little dicey because there should be some clues that would have come up during the investigation, like nobody actually approaching the house or something. These things can be easily explained though so we’ll see how that goes.

Ultimately the film lives or dies on the Flash which is fitting since it’s his movie and unfortunately he is one of the weakest parts of the movie. There are two Barry Allens due to this second timeline and the second one is super annoying. Part of why the middle portion of the film flops is because it’s basically trying to be Bill and Ted. The characters are just being annoying the whole time, the original Barry gets wrecked by everybody while the second one takes everything as a joke.

That can be fun but the problem is that the writing isn’t nearly up to par with Bill and Ted. That film on the whole is considerably funnier. This film does have some good humor scenes like Batman and Flash getting blasted with a mental attack to try and humiliate them. Yes, I’d say the attack was clearly intentional and not accidental. It’s fun just because you can imagine how difficult that scenario would be if you were hit. Beyond that though, the film’s humor doesn’t really land all that well. The Flash is often times just annoying.

Additionally from the jump I said that the Flash actor wasn’t really right for the part and he still doesn’t feel like the Flash. Part of that is writing to be sure but part of it is ultimately just the actor. Grant from the CW still has the definitive Flash look and also the much better suit which is always odd to think about since a TV show costume shouldn’t beat a big budget movie version right? Sometimes it’s just a case of overdesigning and that’s what happened here. With a bunch of DC heroes getting recasted soon I definitely don’t mind if Flash gets recasted. Honestly Affleck and Cavill were the only two definitive ones. I don’t mind if the rest get recasted but I’m good either way on most of them. The Flash is just the one that really needs it.

The Keaton Batman gets a fairly big role here. He has a super rough start though, his first scenes are really just painful and you’re wondering how this could possibly be Batman. That whole string of scenes is another sequence that is just painfully unfunny. I don’t want to say it’s the worst sequence but it was rather brutal in a negative way and same for all of his scenes prior to the costume. Once he puts on the suit then he’s good though. He gets his share of action scenes and puts up some good fights which is always really good. I’m always up for some good Batman action after all and the suit really holds up well. The film also did a good job of showing the different fighting styles between him and the main timeline Batman.

The first Batman doesn’t get to appear a whole lot but he definitely made the most of his scenes. He perhaps had a little too much trouble against some ordinary minions but the point of the scene was really to show off his motorcycle. I really liked the design of that thing and the afterburners were really cool. We also saw his gadgets in more detail and it reminds me of why a film about a super experienced Batman like this sounds really good right about now.

In terms of the villains, well we have Zod who is an interesting character. See, he looks incredibly weak in the fights as he struggles to land a single hit on Supergirl at all so on one hand she seems to be massively stronger and faster. On the other hand, he always seems to come out on top for contrived plot reasons. I suppose I’m satisfied since it shows his tactical skills. The others don’t get to do as much and are practically mindless monsters. In general the Kryptonians don’t look as strong as they should since the rank and file should still be very strong but that’s how it goes sometimes. Supergirl herself looks really good though. She has a solid amount of super strength at her disposal and does well in the fight. She’s definitely a very different take on the character but one that works well I would say. She reminds me a bit of Wolverine or Superboy and still comes with the aggression and eagerness to fight which is important.

You may be wondering why the Flash doesn’t just solo the whole movie in an instant right? Writing a speedster is the single hardest thing for a writer to do because their speed is so unreal, particularly the Flash since he’s the fastest of all. Well, the movie introduces a few weaknesses to try and prevent this. The first is that the Flash’s appetite has been drastically increased to the point where he loses his powers if he’s too hungry. Great…..but hey it is a legitimate way to nerf him into the ground and does widen the gap of why Superman’s way more powerful so I can get behind this.

Flash also can’t move people at super speed more than a few feet or they get super sick and could possibly die. I’m not sure about this one since you’d think the speed force would protect anyone that he’s carrying but it’s also a way to make sure he doesn’t just evacuate a whole country in a few minutes or anything like that. There is one other element used to prevent him from soloing the movie but the trailers intentionally hid that so I’ll keep that for the spoiler section. So that did at least help with some of the power level issues you’d usually find but the film still had enough of them to go around.

Okay it’s time for the spoilers! Skip the next paragraphs if you haven’t seen the movie yet since we’re about to dive in! First up we have to talk about the middle act and why I didn’t care for it. Long story short, the Flash gets depowered because he wasn’t fast enough to dodge lightning. That’s already absurd but the worst part is that it defeats the purpose of this being a Flash film. I never like when the main character is depowered for a movie, particularly when it lasts for a long time. Do that as an episode plot in season 5 of a TV show or something but not for a movie. I’m watching the Flash to see the Flash run around and do cool things with his powers.

Instead this is used to prevent him from saving the day and using his cool powers. Instead we have to watch the other Flash learn how to use his powers. Again they’re trying to make this the big origin story kind of moment as he slowly goes through the motions. I get what they’re doing but to me it just did not work. The other Flash is just way too annoying the whole time and without his powers the first Flash isn’t particularly interesting. The whole plot felt very forced and lasted for a super long amount of time which was the roughest part. Depowering the hero is never a good idea imo.

Then we get to the core of the issue which is the dilemma of choosing to save the mother or not. Now you know where I stand on this, you absolutely do have to save her. The instant that you have the ability to manipulate time then you are now required to use it to save people. Why? One big reason is if you have this ability then it stands to reason that someone else does as well. The instant that time travel becomes real, there is no such thing as a correct timeline because you have no way of knowing if someone else has already changed time. So now you do need to use it to save as many people as possible. I’ll dive more into this in an editorial someday but yeah that’s a big one.

Then this scenario is even worse because it’s not like you’re trying to save a random person to which you would still be obligated to do so. It’s his own mother and he has to actively murder her by removing the can of tomato sauce from her shopping cart. That’s a huge no no, it’s virtually as bad as Eren by the end of Attack on Titan with the decisions that he made. Flash should not be doing this and unfortunately it’s a part of every Flashpoint adaption and never gets any better.

Now Batman makes the argument that some points in time cannot be changed because they’re fixed points. I didn’t buy into this in Spider-Verse and I certainly don’t buy it here. At least in Spiderverse you had some reason to buy into Miguel’s speech because the characters have been going across dimensions so they have something you can tangibly look at. In this one? Batman’s arguing pure hypotheticals because he’s never gone through time or to other dimensions. He talks with such confidence about how every other time travel theory is wrong but why should he believe this to be a fact? Personally I don’t buy into this time theory myself but even in universe I wouldn’t.

In fact, the film breaks its own logic. At the very end the Flash ends up moving the tomato sauce which causes it to be on the wrong shelf so the father looked up and that’s why the cameras caught him this time causing his innocence. This changes who Batman is and likely changes a whole lot of other things along with it. So…he just changed the past with no future effects. What the film should have done is end Jingle All The Way style with Flash realizing that he actually can change the past and he gets ready to dash off as the music flares.

I’ll never accept a reality where he has to destroy his mother and the film did a very poor job of trying to convince me otherwise. It’s the only good point I give to alternate Barry because at least he tried over and over again for numerous years to the point where he got old. That’s true dedication as opposed to Barry who gave up after 2-3 tries. Seriously you’d think he would have tried a little harder than that.

Additionally another issue I have here is that with time travel there will never be such a thing as a fixed point with the amount of options and speed that Flash has. Just go further back in time so you save Supergirl before the government gets her or some other radical changes that ensures the present won’t arrive. When you tell me that time will always happen the same way I don’t buy it because it’s just impossible. It didn’t work in the Booster Gold comic, it didn’t work in Mashle, it’s never worked convincingly in any form of media. When you have the ability to freely move through time then nothing is inaccessible.

The ending’s definitely a sour point to be sure. As to the power level issues, they’re not as big a deal but the Flashes taking on an army of Kryptonians and blasting them away with thunder? Eh, I’ve seen worse but I’m not totally buying that. By the same token though once time travel is on the table, they should have had no problem taking out Zod and friends with their unlimited prep time. After all that’s what it is…unlimited prep time. Take the scene where Flash tells Batman not to take on the ship and he quickly dodges. That’s an excellent way of using time to your advantage and he just had to keep on going.

Ultimately Alternate Barry makes for a cool villain design. Not as cool as Savitar from the show but it looks neat. I just wish he got to do more since he probably has less than 5 minutes of screen time. The movie needed a villain who was around longer. There was Zod but he’s always in the background for the Supergirl plot. We needed a villain for the Flash and that would have helped to elevate things or just give this guy more screen time and a true fight. Isn’t it a waste that this is a Flash movie yet there are no speedster battles? Cmon that’s kind of crazy since that’s something you look forward too.

The movie dropped the ball on a lot of potential with things like that. No speed battles, all of the cameos don’t get to fight with each other or help the Flash. The only one who got an action scene was against a giant monster which was cool and all, the best scene from the cameos. You just wanted a little more than that. Throwing in some extra excitement and action would have done the movie a world of good. Okay this ends the spoiler bit so lets wrap things up now.

Overall, The Flash is a good movie but the super long middle act really hurts the replay value of this one. It’s the kind of film you’ll probably have fun watching the big action scenes on Youtube but you don’t really need to watch the whole film again for that. It’s definitely still worth the watch though to see the next big DC adventure. Even if the ending’s no good, there is still a chance to fix it in the sequel. Just have the Flash find out who actually bumped the mother off and if it’s a certain speedster, then he’ll realize that the timeline was already messed up from the jump and he can make another attempt. That’s definitely how I would do it. As the Avengers would say: “Whatever it takes!”

Overall 6/10

American Underdog

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It’s time to take a look at a movie about Kurt Warner. I definitely remember him a lot growing up, I missed his golden years but he was still recent enough where he was in all of the books. I remember him as a very explosive QB and an elite talent all around so I was looking forward to seeing what he was like here. That said, while the film is very good and goes into great detail on the work it took to get to the NFL, it dropped the ball on one key aspect. We don’t get to see almost any of his actual NFL journey and considering that he won a Super Bowl, that’s a pretty big deal. We really should have gotten more NFL screen time even if it meant extending the film by 30 minutes or so.

Kurt was always good at throwing the ball but as we see in his younger years he would scramble a whole lot and his coach didn’t like that. He wanted Kurt to be a pocket passer even if it meant taking absolutely devastating shots throughout the game. Kurt did his best but it wasn’t working so well and he was starting to wonder if he would ever end up playing in the NFL. Around this time he met up with a lady named Brenda and they hit it off right away. The main dilemma Kurt faces from there is if he continues to chase his dream but in the meantime he will be super low on money which is rough for their family or he finds a stable job and gets out of the sports game.

Of course we know the answer since this is based on his incredible career but that’s where most of the drama is. He and Brenda may have gotten together right away but their troubles only just begin from there. First up is obviously the financial issues since that’s always a strain on any relationship. Then due to Kurt’s job, he has to be away from home a whole lot because there are always games to be had and practices. Kurt’s with a lot of younger guys all the time who may not be the best of influences as well so he has to constantly guard himself against temptations and that’s also rough for Brenda while she’s at home. Brenda already had a negative experience in that way with her first husband. Finally Brenda is a little older than Kurt and already has a kid, both things of which can appear as red flags and Kurt’s mother isn’t particularly pleased with this arrangement.

Yeah they’ve got a lot of hurdles to overcome that’s for sure. In general you usually see the wife being younger than the husband as the norm but if the gap’s not that large I don’t think it should matter. My rule of thumb is of course it’s ideal if both people are about the same age but if there’s a gap, I think you can make it work up to 10 years or so, obviously as long as both are over 21. In this case the gap is 4 years which is basically nothing really. I think having a kid already is a bit of a tougher one since often times you want a fresh start and to have your first kid together.

Fortunately Kurt’s a great guy and gets along with the kids (There are 2 of them after all) right away. Brenda’s also a very responsible person with a good head on her shoulders and basically lets Kurt know that the kids are her priority and if he’s cool with that. He is and so things are good there. I could have done without some of the drama near the middle as I felt like it went on a bit longer than it needed to be but if that’s how it played out in real life then of course it makes sense to keep that in.

I enjoyed the Football moments a lot and his coach at the Rams was definitely a very likable guy. The OC took a little more getting used to since he seemed to be mean for no reason. The whole “Tough Love” approach can be annoying at times because sure being tough for a little bit can be a character builder but when you go too far it just comes across as obnoxious. I would personally have focused more on the Football though because it’s always great to see the games. I watch the NFL every year after all and can never get enough of it. Nowadays I’ll even check out the late games when I can and as much during the day as possible. With movie directing and such you can probably make it even more epic so that’s still my one complaint which I keep bringing up.

The drama is important of course and same with the romance but you could still cut large chunks of those scenes out and you’ll be all set. I think it’s a worthy tradeoff for some more Football action don’t you think? The Super Bowl is the main reason he got a film after all. If Kurt didn’t win a Super Bowl then the story wouldn’t be quite as miraculous the way it is today and so since that was such a big part of his legacy it should be included here. More than just a scene or two the way that it happened, I wanted a full breakdown of the season and everything!

Overall, American Underdog is definitely a really solid film. Kurt Warner was one of the best to ever do it and he definitely went through a path that seems like it would be super hard to replicate. He is the one in a million scenario here. If you’re interested in the details of how he got to the top then I definitely recommend checking this one out. Now we just need them to do a film on the greatest QB of all time, Tony Romo!