Category Archives: 1 Star Movies

The Chosen Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Oh no, it’s time for another one of those horror films with the evil kid running around and bumping everyone off. The Chosen starts out on a rather weak note and never really gets better. It at least has a bit more of a plot than titles like the Omen but unfortunately that’s still not enough to save it. The characters are annoying, the film decides to get needlessly violent later on and the whole film just sort of feels inevitable. Like it’s going to keep going through all of the same tired story beats you would have expected at the start of the film with the main characters having absolutely no influence over what’s going on. Like watching someone order a cheeseburger and eat it. No matter how many people line up outside the store and tell him to stop, he’s going to keep eating it the same way he always does.

So the film starts off with Robert breaking into an old tomb and seeing some creepy designs in there. He’s going to proceed with the project though and they blow a lot of stuff up. Basically they are trying to set up a bunch of nuclear energy stations to take the world into a new era. It’s going to be brilliant or at least that’s what Robert thinks but most people are against this. They feel it’s way too dangerous and people will die. The more supernatural folks also think this is a bad omen and they shouldn’t be messing around in this sacred area. Robert’s son Angel is really enthusiastic about the project but he is really the only supporter as even Robert’s wife is against this. In fact she nearly shuts down the project but is quickly murdered by a terrorist who broke into the building trying to get Robert. Is this pure coincidence that now Robert can proceed with the plan or is something nefarious at work here?

Don’t worry if you miss some of the symbology at work here. The film makes sure to slap you in the face with the parallels every time they come up. 10 towers? BAM! Flashback to the speech about the number 10 being demonic. Robert’s wife may have been accidentally murdered? BOOM! Flashback to show that Angel made sure to guide the blade to hit her. Robert’s not sure if this plan is really demonic? KABOOM! Time for a super long dream sequence where he merges with the sand, gets crucified, dies in the ocean, gets blown up a few times, has to run around naked, etc. The film is really proud of how it manages to tie everything together and so it won’t let you miss a beat. The film made sure to have a fairly long runtime so you’ll be here a while.

Look, I have a ton of issues with the film so let me talk about the one thing that was decent and that’s the story. Like I said before, usually there’s not really a story here. It’s just the Antichrist beating everyone up for the duration of the film and then it ends. In this one we actually have some political drama as Robert tries to get people on board with his plan. The fact that it is so unpopular is a bit of a twist because usually in these films the plan would be popular and at the end he has to find a way to stop it. Instead the plan nearly falls through so many times and Angel has to keep on using his powers to make things right.

It’s annoying that Robert takes so long to decide to shut it all down though. The amount of evidence it takes to convince him is absolutely crazy. Especially since he had doubts fairly early on, why should it take so many tragedies to get to him? I will say that it makes Angel look bad though. He’s got tremendous cosmic abilities and all, but he can’t just make the plan be popular? No mass telepathy or reality warping this time? He has to keep on doing flashy murders to get the plan on track but you wonder why it’s all necessary. Maybe he’s just messing with the characters or it’s all a game but it is odd and also annoying because it’s just stretching the film out.

Naturally as the main villain Angel isn’t meant to be likable and the film does a good job of that since he’s annoying from the jump. He’s basically a fake yes man who acts supportive but is always ready to take the reins from Robert. You’d expect nothing less from him. The guy gets so overconfident that he really lets his guard down for the final scene. That’s good because it made for a very satisfying ending. I definitely did not want to see Angel on top.

Unfortunately the characters who are supposed to be the heroes aren’t very likable either. First up you have Robert and the guy is way too fixated on this project of his. If everyone is saying that it’s a bad idea then maybe it is. Of course that’s not always true but messing around with Nuclear energy isn’t really a good idea. He then finds a new person shortly after his wife dies which was pretty bad. By far his worst scene though is when he attempts to trick Sara into murdering her baby. Seriously there’s no way around how bad this is. You absolutely cannot make someone abort their baby by force and expect to be called anything but an absolute villain.

Yeah he had reason to think this baby would also be evil but there’s no way you can just murder a baby like that. It’s going way out of bounds and I don’t see how Sara could ever trust him again after that. It was an extremely bad look. Meanwhile Sara is also not great here. I don’t see why she made such a big deal about going to the church but surely she could have talked it over more. Again here I’d also say that she should not have trusted Robert at all. It’s not a touching moment to see her going back to him, it’s just annoying. She needed to cut him off completely after what happened.

It’s too bad because she was a nice enough person but it makes her seem more like a pushover than anything. Also this is a nitpick but I don’t see why she invited both Robert and Angel to announce that she was pregnant. Seems to me that this is such a personal private thing that you would only tell your husband/wife first. Everyone else can find out later on. Just seemed super contrived as a way to have Angel there to mess around when he had no business being in the scene.

As I mentioned the film could get rather violent as well. Each death tends to be quite over the top as they are smashed to bits, ripped into pieces, etc. Nobody gets an easy death here and they’re also very predictable. You know that they don’t stand a chance each time. It’s one of the big problems with having a villain who is all powerful like that. With no weakness there can be no fight and with no fight that means there can only be a slaughter. Some films at least pretend that the heroes have a shot but this was not one of them.

Then there’s also the subplot with the crazy people running the asylum. Their scenes were all extremely forced and it’s beyond annoying that they showed up to beat Robert up some more in the climax. I dare say the film would have dropped to a 0 if they had murdered him there. But even without that, it just makes no sense that he would escape again. That prison needs better security and it’s good that Robert knew self defense or it would all be over.

The problem with the Chosen is that this is not even remotely a fun film. There are no good scenes to be had here and you’re just waiting for it to end. The movie tends to be very mean spirited and everyone goes through a lot before it’s over. The ending at least delays things but it still not what I would call a super happy ending. I also think that including the scene of Robert being complicit in trying to drug Sara so she can have the abortion was a really bad idea and does hurt the film significantly. That should never have been included.

Overall, The Chosen is a pretty bad film. It relies on lots of shock value and grisly murders without the substance needed to back it up. The film is also not very subtle so even when it tries to pull some plot twists it doesn’t work because the film showed its cards early. To be honest there’s not much that the film could have done to turn things around and actually be good. That just wasn’t going to happen but you always like to hope that the film could have been a little better. Give us some fun moments next time and provide the heroes with some kind of a chance. Otherwise it’s all pointless.

Overall 1/10

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Resident Evil is one of those franchises where the films are typically doomed from the start but you are still curious how it will play out. The first movie series had a lot of flaws to be sure but it never forgot to turn up with some amazing musical themes and a whole lot of action. It had some crazy scary visuals and in general was very intense. This one tries extremely hard to be scary, often taking the shortcut of just being grotesque but it doesn’t work as well. It drags on and on and while the film was initially trying to be more accurate to the games, it seems like they gave up on that early on.

The movie starts out with a reallllllly long scene of a girl noticing that there’s a mysterious creature in her room. She heads over to investigate and you’re just waiting for the jump scare the whole time as something seems wrong with the other girl. Anyway onto the real plot! Many years later, Claire travels home to warn her brother Chris that Raccoon City is hiding something and they are in danger. Chris doesn’t buy any of it and runs back to the police station. Only problem is that zombies are real and the town is now under attack. It’s mostly deserted at this point which is good but the problem is that the Umbrella corporation is blocking all exits. Can the heroes find a way out?

Where to start with this one right? First off most of the characters are pretty bad here. You have a truck driver who isn’t paying any attention to the road so he crashes into a girl and then tries to tell himself that the crash wasn’t that bad. Unfortunately his dog becomes a zombie so later on he gets taken out which was pretty tragic. The dog really didn’t deserve any of that.

Then we have Leon who is the biggest clown in the movie. This guy’s supposed to be super serious. An amazing agent who takes on all kinds of threats and stuff. He’s the guy you call in when all else has failed and yet that just never happens to be the case here. Yes he gets a big moment at the end of the film. That’s great and all but he’s complete comic relief here and constantly getting into trouble. I laughed when he walked up to the prison bars like a rookie after a prisoner was threatening him. What do you think happens at that point? Well the guy pulls him into the bars and while Leon is stunned he grabs his gun and gets him into a chokehold.

That’s so embarrassing. That should absolutely never happen to anyone. How do you let yourself be that close to the bars in the first place? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at all and just makes him look awful. Then Leon takes so long to open the door that the guy gets eaten anyway. To be honest if I’m that guy I would have shot Leon myself for all the incompetence there so hat way at least we both go down together. Leon shouldn’t be walking out at that point when he’s the one who was creating this whole mess.

Hopefully in a sequel he will be experienced but I wouldn’t hold my breath. The writing for this film was pretty bad the whole time anyway. Wesker definitely has a very different kind of role in this film. He’s certainly missing all of the usual aura that he has. This guy is just another dude with a gun now and he also comes across as rather petty since his motivation here is money. It’s not global domination or anything like that, he just wants his big pay day. That’s a fine motivation for a grunt, but not Wesker. That’s going way too far in the other direction.

I didn’t really have a problem with Chris or Claire. Chris maybe could have listened more but I do have to admit that Claire made an historically bad argument in favor of the conspiracy. Showing a video of a crazy looking guy yelling about the virus and how Umbrella is evil isn’t a great jumping on point. She didn’t give Chris any reason why he should even believe this guy. Chris also did dash off rather quick so it would have been tough to convince him either way but the whole exchange didn’t work out in Claire’s favor.

Chris does get a really bad scene later on with a lighter though. It’s supposed to be tense but it was just dumb. So basically there are a bunch of zombies around and so Chris turns on the lighter to scare them off. Problem is that it’s defective so it keeps on turning on and off. This way you can see the zombies getting closer as they keep on circling him over and over again. The scene doesn’t work because they should have finished him off so many times. Like it just doesn’t make sense that he keeps on surviving because of how close they were. It should have been all over for him and so it was pretty annoying to see him just continuing to escape with that plot armor.

I’d argue more plot armor is when the girl from the opening scene returns in some kind of monster hybrid form and crushes one of the zombies. These monsters should not be losing in a battle of physical strength like that. Maybe if you’re Alice who has super abilities but a girl who is seemingly some kind of hybrid? It’s a bit harder to buy even allowing for the fact that we didn’t get to see her much. Meanwhile the final boss looks really bad as it gets one shotted. So the problem here among many others is that you couldn’t take the zombies super seriously as a threat since they kept losing.

There’s not much of a good soundtrack here unfortunately. There are a pair of songs that play randomly in moments that really don’t seem to match with what’s happening on screen though. Trust me that really took me by surprise because of how crazy it was but not really in a good way. As for the visuals, again I’d say the original is much better. This one’s going more for grotesque as opposed to cool so you lose a lot of points there.

At the end of the day what more can be said about this one right? It squeezes in all of the negatives you would expect to see. We’ve got animal violence, general excessive violence all over the place, a very weak cast, poor writing, and it’s just not that interesting. There are very few positives I can even give the film which is why it’s so low. There is one positive though and that is that I enjoyed the way the information was presented. For example when the on screen messages tell us what time it is or why the city is so abandoned. It was a fun way to deliver the exposition. I enjoyed it at least which is a small consolation. If only the rest of the film could have hung in there. I wanted to see more of what Umbrella was doing about this and reactions from the rest of the world. It feels like the setup is really nice but the film just didn’t capitalize. There’s a lot of fun things you can delve into here aside from the obvious zombies murdering everyone.

Overall, Resident Evil has another stinker here. I would definitely recommend watching the original films instead but I suppose technically the best thing to do would be to skip the whole franchise at this point. It’s difficult to pull off a zombie film as it is and I don’t think these will ever be the ones to buck the trend. At least there is an after credits scene to help set up the sequel and in general there are a lot of ways you can continue with the series but we’ll see what they actually want to do for the next adventure. Hopefully they get a little more out there with the next one.

Overall 1/10

The Evil of Frankenstein Review

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Well this film is definitely back to what you expect to see when you watch a Frankenstein film and I mean that in all the worst ways possible. The writing makes no sense and everyone is out of character. I won’t even talk about the continuity since this just ignores everything anyway but I don’t get why this is such a downgrade. In the last film Frankenstein was a stable genius but in this one he just looks like a sucker who has no idea what to do. He has fallen so far that it’s crazy. He really is a different character here.

The movie starts with Frankenstein being sloppy so he and Hans are run out of town. They manage to escape to a small circus where nobody recognizes them but Frankenstein is saddened to learn that his old home has been completely looted and the local guy in charge has taken all of his possessions. Frankenstein makes a big scene so now the cops are aware that he’s here. He does some more running and confronts the guy again only for the cops to defeat him once more. A local girl saves him and that’s when it turns out that the monster is still alive and just trapped in ice. Frankenstein frees him and uses a local hypnotist named Zoltan to wake the beast up. The problem? Zoltan now has full control of the monster. Frankenstein really messed up this time.

A lot of my issues just come from the fact that Frankenstein is no longer a genius at all. He makes the absolute worst mistakes over and over and over again and there’s no reason for it. Why make such a big deal about his material possessions and his ring? I guarantee that the old Frankenstein didn’t care about these things. He was cold and calculating, not overly emotional like this guy is. He continues sabotaging himself for the whole film and looks so bad. I also can’t stress enough how bad it was for him to be getting blackmailed by Zoltan.

Zoltan is a drunk who was being kicked out by the cops and he’s overwhelming Frankenstein?? Come onnnnnnnn. The fact that Frankenstein didn’t see this coming is also pretty bad since he saw Zoltan in action earlier. He knows exactly how hypnotism works so then he should have known that the monster would be listening to him. So Frankenstein really brings down the film quite a bit. His partner Hans also seems rather useless in this film. In the last one he had enough intelligence to hold his own with Frankenstein but in this case that’s no longer impressive since they have both fallen so far.

The girl was a reasonable character that you actually felt bad for. She definitely had a hard life and I don’t totally get what the purpose of her character was. She ends up helping Frankenstein a whole lot by taking him to the cave where he found the monster…but why was she really here? It felt like the film wasn’t even sure and in a way I guess you may be wondering why it matters. She is in the film so it doesn’t really matter why she’s there right? I guess I just can’t put my finger on it but she felt like a character who had a bigger role in the script and scenes got cut out of something. I dunno maybe that’s just me.

Meanwhile Zoltan is not one of the better villains. The guy gets control over a monster and the first thing he thinks to do is send it into town to steal money? Shouldn’t you be at least a little subtle about this? Once the cops start shooting and all then it’s going to be all over, monster or not. Use a little tact at least. Then the guy gets greedy and ultimately commands too much so it’s over for him. Yeah nobody’s very smart here. The smartest character was probably the head of the cops with how many times he caused Frankenstein to run away. I respected that guy.

For miscellaneous issues, the film reverts back to animal violence. Of course it does right? Why would we possibly need that….but yeah it’s pretty awful. We see the monster eating animals and then Frankenstein runs in front of a gun and gets shot. I’m telling you he looked soooo bad in this film. I also don’t think it was necessary to get such a large rewritten flashback of the original film. I think the writers knew that the current story didn’t have enough depth to it for a feature length presentation but then in that case maybe make a whole different plot? Cmonnnnnnnn.

Okay let me cut the film a little slack. We don’t get much of the body horror this time with limbs being taken off and all of that. So we’re trading poisons a bit and in that case I’ll take this poison over the other one. That’s pretty much all the solace I can give at this point. There just isn’t much I can say about the film at all in terms of positives. It’s not interesting and this time we don’t have the good writing from the last film. It basically ditched everything that at least made the franchise salvageable. It’s one of the weakest films I would say completely. The first film is still worse with the kid getting brutally murdered but that’s a low bar to match.

Overall, This film had no real thinking behind it. It fumbled the ball almost immediately and just could not be saved after a point. The film annoyed me just looking at it and that’s saying something. It just kept on going from bad to worse and the worst part is that a good amount of it could have been improved if Frankenstein at least looked decent. Sure, it would still have a bad score but at least the film would have had something to support it. Without even a decent main character it was doomed from the start. I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. Frankenstein films are definitely well over the hill.

Overall 1/10

The Night House Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those spooky haunted house films. Unfortunately this one doesn’t come close to the classic House on Haunted Hill films. The main character hurts this one a lot but also the more we went into the film the more all of the characters started getting rather annoying. Even the villain seems like a bunch of nonsense all things considered. Yeah this is definitely a film to run away from ASAP!

The film starts with Owen destroying himself so now his wife Beth’s life has been flipped upside down. She’s no longer able to think straight and focus on her teaching duties so she takes some time off. Her friends do their best to cheer her up but Beth won’t have any of it. She’s going to stay depressed for as long as it takes. Then some weird things begin to happen, music turns on by itself at home, her husband’s phone starts texting her, etc. Is it possible that somehow his spirit is still alive? The weirdness mainly happens at home so Beth has to stick it out for as long as possible.

One thing the film does to try and make this a bit different from your standard title is that Beth is someone who is super jaded, loves depressing humor and isn’t afraid of the ghost. So she’s dodging most of the stereotypes and it makes sense since she assumes that the ghost is her husband. Why would she fear him right? It’s pretty reasonable and makes sense and even her journey about finding out the secrets behind his suicide note checks out. However it would be nice if she could be a little more agreeable with her friends who are really just trying to help out. All of their kindness is just met with sarcasm the whole time.

By the end she’s often alone because she keeps pushing everyone away. Then in the climax the mind games start putting her in a tricky spot where she barely makes her way out. There’s not much she could do about getting wrecked in the fight with the ghost since he has super strength but being a loner wasn’t doing her a whole lot of good here. Also at the very end I think she should have warned the others about the threat that is lurking around. I suppose they may not believe her but then they are in mortal danger!

Then we have Owen who is easily the worst character in the film. Obviously committing suicide is a really bad thing to do right out of the gate but the context of the movie makes it so much worse. So he is aware that there is a supernatural being who is after both him and Beth. This creature called Nothing actively wants to murder them….so he murders himself without letting Beth know? So much for protecting your wife until the day you die. It gets so much worse than that though. He actually goes ahead and starts murdering a bunch of women who look just like his wife in an extremely awful attempt to trick the creature.

What? This may be the worst plan I’ve ever heard of. No joke it’s hard to top this for a variety of reasons. Can you think of them? Lets break this down. A supernatural creature appears and tells Owen to murder his wife. This creature is invisible and seems to always be around but hard to pin down. So Owen….goes outside and searches until he finds women who look just like Beth. He has enough natural charm to date all of them…then he murders them and places their bodies in a little hut to show the creature so it will assume that he murdered his wife.

All right lets break down this horrific plan. First off…he still goes home to his wife every day and Nothing sees this. So…how are you going to fool him again? It’s abusrrrrrrd!! Okay then the next problem is if you’re going to try this trick you just need one body. Why did he murder several body doubles? That just tells Nothing that you’re really taking him for a fool now. This film really needed to toss out the script and start again. This is just bad man. Also that means he is becoming a mass murderer to try and protect his wife. Surely he has the drive to stick around and make sure she’s okay right?

Nahhhh he murders himself and leaves her a vague note with no context, no warning, and nothing that is helpful at all. He basically just makes her think that he is crazy and of course now Nothing ends up going after her next. He’s such an awful character and the more you see of him the worse it gets. It gets even worse though. Nothing is able to harness extra dimensional energies so he takes Beth into an alternate world where she appears as one of the victims and then he has the past essence of Owen start beating her up and nearly destroys her. So Owen in a roundabout way was nearly the end of Beth. Did I mention how awful this character is yet??

Okay lets move on. At least we had a decent character in Claire. She sees that her friend Beth is clearly cracking up but tries to be there for her regardless. Claire is easily the best character. She has issues of her own but is doing her best to be supportive and available. Meanwhile the neighbor Mel is okay but not as impressive since he didn’t tell Beth that Owen was crazy when he had the chance. I know he may have felt it was none of his business but when you’re good friends with someone you have to break the truth to them. Particularly if that person’s life is in danger or if the trust has been betrayed. If Mel was worried about what would happen next then leave an anonymous note or something.

Also Nothing’s not much of an interesting villain. I also don’t think the movie knew what to do with him. He can clearly interact with solid objects in the real world yet he uses so many roundabout ways to destroy Beth. If he wanted her dead then he could have done it at any time. Instead he tries to break her mentally first and puts her in different illusions and memory fights. I suppose he has all the time in the world to win but it just makes him look weak and ineffectual. The fact that he is invisible so we never actually see him doesn’t really help matters either.

Overall, The Night House is a really annoying film and the characters’ actions make 0 sense. Owen was ultimately a much more sinister villain than Nothing. At least Nothing is a random supernatural villain messing around but Owen is a mass murderer literally executing innocent people with no proper end goal in mind. By the end of it Owen’s just such an awful character and you’re cringing whenever he’s on screen. There just wasn’t much of a point to this adventure. You don’t always need a lot of answers by the end but as far as I’m concerned Nothing is still out there terrorizing people and he’s likely not done with Beth quite yet. The other world will continue to be a factor as everyone gets haunted and so there can be no peace. You could make a solid action sequel to this as the government gets involved or something but as a horror, nah this is not going anywhere anytime soon.

Overall 1/10

I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to end the trilogy of horror in the Summer series. The titles always get pretty interesting with this one but it’s basically just your average horror. Nothing’s really going on beyond the mass murders here and none of the characters are likable. So what you have is just a long journey of watching them all get picked off one by one which doesn’t make for the most engaging experience.

The movie starts off with some teenager drama as Amber and her boyfriend Colby decide to make a long distance relationship work but first they’re going to spend one last July 4th with the crew. They pull off a prank making the whole town think there is some kind of serial killer on the loose but things get a little too close to home when one of them actually dies during the prank. They cover this up and then go their separate ways. Time passes and the next year arrives with Amber meeting up with Colby in town but he didn’t tell her he would be there so it’s sort of like they’ve unofficially broken up. None of the gang even remotely likes each other anymore but they have to band together one last time because the murderer they faked may actually be a real person now. Is it someone trying to expose the murder they had covered up?

From there on it’s time for everyone to start taking massive Ls against the villains. It’s not really surprising that it goes this way either because they were outgunned from the jump. Usually in these films you have to find an excuse to scatter the main characters but that isn’t needed here because of how much they hate each other. They threaten each other more than once and constantly split up. At one point Colby heads off to go drink by himself knowing full well by this point in the movie that the body count was rather large and still not caring about this at all. It’s definitely one of the worst moves you can make.

There is one decision that is even worse though. At one point the teens finally come up with their first reasonable plan. They will all hop in a car together, pick a direction and just keep on driving. The murders seem to be leading up to July 4th which is when they covered up the murder so they just make sure they’re in a different state by then. They can always return later or choose not too, but that should keep them safe right? The film takes great pains to explain that this wouldn’t have worked by the end but ignoring that, this is actually a really good plan.

If you take away the classic trope of the slasher villain being super fast and all knowing, there isn’t really a counter to this plan. Even if he can grab a vehicle he won’t be able to follow them quick enough before they’re past the border. Then at that point as long as they don’t do anything ignorant, they can stay off the grid for a while. Change their names or go far enough away where it won’t matter. The problem of course is that this plan was too good so one of the characters complains that she has to go out and perform in a rock band real quick first.

She knows full well that the villain is going to make his move now since it’ll be July 4th but she is prioritizing the concert? I know scouts will be there and that it’s a big deal but it still makes absolutely no sense so stay. It’s one of those scenes that will definitely have you rolling your eyes the whole time because it just makes no sense. There’s basically no way that anyone would have made that move.

It’s not like these films are really known for their writing or anything but that was still crazy. The film has its share of twists as the whole thing is part mystery after all. The identity of the villain is definitely a game changer but unfortunately it also does make the experience a little more pointless. The film actually gives us a real climax with some action and everything but due to how the plot goes, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. Ultimately you know that there is just no way for the heroes to pull this off.

The twist ending is a classic horror staple and this one has an ending like that but it’s basically the bare minimum. Sort of like the writer shrugging and figuring “welllll they’d probably like to see this ending sooo..here ya go” but there’s no creativity or inspiration here. I suppose you could say that for most of the film but it’s still not a great look. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, this is definitely not a high quality film and what’s more…I’d say it’s definitely a skip straight up.

The film suffers from the usual slasher issues like being overly violent with all of the kills. The film gets as gratuitous as possible. In part that’s probably why every character is written to be super unlikable so you don’t feel as bad for them but that’s not a winning strategy in the slightest. I also think that the culprit should have been someone else. Now that may have made some of the scenes in this movie a little harder to buy but you were probably going to have to stretch some disbelief here anyway. So just knock all of that out in one shot and then you’re in a much better position.

Overall, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is a pretty bad movie. It’s really just hitting all of the beats without adding anything to them. It’s going through the motions in the most robotic way possible. It’ll quickly fade into obscurity as just another slasher film. I’ll give tiny props for actually having the heroes try to fight the villain near the end instead of just running and tripping but there are very few positives to be had here. You just won’t be having a whole lot of fun during this title. I still can’t believe not even one character decided to just drive off and leave town. It’s the easiest solution for 90% of these films which is why most movies actually make an effort to prevent this from being an option. Like there’s no roads or there’s an avalanche or something. This film had no such excuse.

Overall 1/10

The Grudge (2020) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I’m going to be brutally honest here folks, I much prefer when films, games, and any sort of media follow a linear path. Jumping back and forth across timelines and such often times is more convoluted than interesting. It’s just being complicated for the sake of doing so as opposed to actually enhancing the story and that’s what happens here. There is no actual benefit and even the inevitable “aha it’s all connected!!” moment isn’t enough to overturn that.

The movie has no evil cat possession sounds this time which is a massive mistake so its mainly Sayako’s body doing the dirty work for the Grudge. There are a few others though. So we have a few different plots here. You have a new detective who is trying to find out what’s going on with this supposed haunted house. She’s a bit old to believe in ghosts after all and figures its fake but her partner who has been on the scene refuses to even step foot in there. He believes that it is fully haunted. In the past, a lady will be having a kid soon but unfortunately he will be born with an illness as seen in the pre birth scans. Is the Grudge working overtime and cursing people before they are even born now? Unfortunately she is probably in the wrong house to try and survive this. Then in a middle plot we have a lady who helps in assisted suicides who checks in on an old lady and her husband but the lady is crazy and seems to be able to see the Grudge. The lady should have immediately left but she decides to stay the night which may end up being her last.

So what do all of these plots have in common? They’re all fodder for the Grudge! Nooooo, but it’s true though. You know the sooner that these chuckleheads appear on screen that they are absolutely doomed. The old lady with aroma therapy and such? The Grudge probably smells like sewer water based on how long she’s been dead in the water so she’s immune. The cop with his handgun staring down the haunted house for years before destroying himself? The Grudge is most likely bullet proof! And if not she’ll just use her telepathy to jam the gun. Thinking of burning the house down? Well the fact that she even lets you approach the house with the gasoline means that she isn’t worried.

When your opponent is all powerful and just playing with you there just isn’t much you can do. Naturally destroying yourself like the second cop is absolutely the worst thing you can do because one..The Grudge won’t allow it. Seriously she can alter the trajectory just enough to ensure you live in pain for a long while. I choose to believe that explanation over him just missing a point blank shot to the head personally. So you either play her game and hope it means an instant end or you try to do something drastic like blow up the planet. Honestly that would be an interesting angle. A character can’t stop being haunted for all eternity by the Grudge so he decides to end it all for humanity.

Now there’s a world destruction motive that I could possibly get behind because it’s all so unfair. As always the film is definitely really violent. A lot of characters are dying left and right and we also get a lot of gross visuals like people’s dead bodies being covered by worms. The Grudge definitely isn’t holding back on any of that and as always we’re reminded of the origin of all this.

It’s almost impressive that there are basically no happy moments in the film because you’re always waiting for what’s about to happen next to the characters. For the most part you aren’t even given much hope for any of the plots except the one taking place in current day because you already know the others are doomed. I suppose there’s the tension of seeing how long they last. The constant rain is also a good backdrop because everything is scarier during a downpour. There just doesn’t seem to be much of a point to this film even more than some of the other Grudge titles although I guess they’re all pretty close in that respect. We need a character to try and counter the Grudge at some point. Give her an actual opponent to fight against and the film would immediately get a whole lot better.

The twist ending of the film is definitely pretty intense and maybe the best out of the Grudge films. Sure on one hand you might roll your eyes because it feels like the film is going against its own lore again but you have to remember that the Grudge will never lose. As the Flash villain once said: “You can’t hold me!!!!” That’s basically the Grudge’s catchphrase at this point. No matter what you do she will eventually defeat you. Honestly the lucky ones are the fighters who die immediately because at least they are put out of their misery. You’re really unlucky when she spares you for like 50 years only to murder you later on for the lolz. Everyone is in the palm of her hands and the sooner you embrace the futility of the entire movie series, the sooner you can be free!

Overall, The Grudge basically goes through the motions of murdering everyone. By splitting the film up into different time periods and going back and forth it does slow down the pacing a lot though. This film would have actually been a lot better as an anthology and I can’t believe that I’m saying that. Yes that’s how dicey things have gotten here because i just don’t want to be going back to the past so many times. It’s not my idea of a grand time. Give me a linear plot to move around in and just use a few flashbacks if you have to. The idea can work I suppose but the Grudge definitely couldn’t pull it off.

Overall 1/10

The Grudge 3 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. Note that a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to return to The Grudge series. Definitely not one of my favorite horror series to say the least. Part of the problem with this series has always been how overpowered the villain is. Basically you’ve got someone with the powers of a Shonen Jump villain going up against below average mortals who couldn’t throw a punch to save their life and have no mental defenses. At the end of the day that means there is absolutely no hope for anybody here so the whole film is really just there for show.

The movie starts off with a kid trying to explain that he needs someone to break him out of the psychiatric ward because The Grudge has already infiltrated. The staff laugh this off and explain that the place is completely secure so nothing can happen to him. The poor kid’s mangled beyond recognition in the next scene and the doctor tries to find answers but good luck with that. Meanwhile we cut to Lisa who is temporarily staying with her brother Max and his daughter Rose in the house where all of this had gone down. It’s a rather eery place to live but Max figures he can fix the place up really well and eventually turn things around. He’s in the red right now so he will definitely need things to really work out well for him. Unfortunately The Grudge isn’t satisfied yet and starts murdering more people. It’s possible that the only one who can stop her is Naoko, the sister to the original host.

Technically “The Grudge” is more of a supervillain name and it’s for both the girl and the cat who are running around. You could make the case that these are just the physical manifestations of the Grudge since it’s more of a non physical form anyway so I’ll keep saying Grudge for convenience sake. One thing the series does really well is to show just how spooky they are though. Grudge’s movements are very erratic which makes it hard for you to predict her next move. She can be deceptively fast and also has an incredible grip. Basically if she grabs you then it’s all over.

I would say the frustrating part is that absolutely nobody tries to attack her at all. They all just fall down and start crying, hide under the bed, or give their back to the creature. Look, you’re going to die anyway but wouldn’t you at least want to go down with a fight? The film doesn’t even try to make it look like these people are ready to fight back and I think that’s a mistake because it makes no sense. They’re literally on the the edge of defeat getting close to death. If that’s not enough to make you fight back then I don’t know what would be.

Characters consistently make the wrong decisions. Near the end of the film Lisa is trying to escape and just watched someone get butchered in front of her. The next move is to run for it right? Instead she just falls to the ground and extreme plot armor saves her from being the next victim. Everyone should have a fight or flee instinct but for some reason that turned into a just fall down and whimper effect. I just don’t think that would be the case for most people. I would argue almost none of them would have that effect at least even if it’s a few.

Okay so on to the negatives. Wait…were those actually the positives? Yeah we ran out of those a while back. The only real positive here is that the Grudge has an awesome design and I really like the sound effects. They are really scary and this is a film that will always be scary to watch. I would go as far as to say the Grudge may have the scariest design for a horror villain but I would have to think about it. The close runner ups who could also take the title would probably be the main villain of Insidious who has the red mask and the classic Xenomorph.

As always this is a very bloody film with a lot of over the top violence and dark themes. We can never seem to escape the cat dying which is a very unfortunate part of the mythos. It really doesn’t add any benefit to the film so I’d rather skip that. Having a little kid get murdered in the opening scene really sets the tone here but then you also have the Grudge possessing people to stab their friends and make the whole thing more personal. This is a very dark and dreary film from cover to cover that doesn’t exactly make you thrilled to watch it.

As I mentioned earlier, the Grudge has no weaknesses so it’s not like there was ever any hope here. Naoko’s big master plan is basically to transfer the curse onto the little kid by having her drink a bunch of blood. Gross factor aside, this plan makes absolutely no sense to anybody who managed to pay attention to the lore at the beginning. The Grudge came into existence in part because of how Naoko’s sister had to drink the blood and dark essence of every curse. Basically the curses all merged into a super dark influence which took control of her and made her commit all of these deeds.

So drinking that blood would just make a new host but wouldn’t stop the demon. In what world would it destroy the demon? Maybe you can say Naoko was planning to murder the kid after that but why would that have any effect on anything? Her sister died a while back and the curse is still here. So in short, I don’t see any purpose in including Naoko in this film. I don’t think the writers really thought this subplot through because it doesn’t work as a twist about the plan not working when it never had any chance of working in the first place. It doesn’t make any senseeeeee!!

At least the Grudge does give us a classic twist ending which is more inline with what you would expect for this kind of film. It works pretty well and the execution is on point. It doesn’t exactly make you feel any better about the film having any kind of central purpose other than showing people dying in all sorts of ways. At this point there doesn’t seem to be much of a point to these film. They’re just like Halloween or other slasher types where it’s really just about seeing a bunch of deaths. Still, at least in some of those you can pretend that the heroes have a shot and it feels like they do because the villains are a bit more mortal. When the villain’s all powerful with no weaknesses then it takes the bite out of the whole thing.

Overall, The Grudge 3 is a pretty terrible film all around. The heroes never stood a chance and you knew it so you’re really just watching everyone getting bumped off and hoping against hope that there is some kind of twist to save the movie. Inevitably it never comes and so there isn’t really a reason to check this one out except to have a grudge against the film itself. It’s not the kind of film that will be saving the horror genre or anything fancy like that.

Overall 1/10

Prom Night (2008) Review

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Why’s this poster so awful?? Seriously you can’t tell anything about the film from this and if anything it just makes you want to stay away. Trust me this is not the way to advertise any kind of film. Regardless this is a really bad title though so you will want to stay away. It ends up being a painful experience from start to finish with no real smart characters.

The movie starts off with Donna watching her family get murdered by a psychopath named Richard. We jump to the future where she is now being taken care of by her uncle and aunt. She is still rather traumatized but wants to at least try and enjoy her prom. It should be the perfect day and so she heads out to be with her friends. Unfortunately though Richard has escaped from prison and because everyone is incompetent in this film it took 3 days for the cops to be notified. They let the guardians know but instead of taking Donna out….they decide to let the prom continue since it would be too traumatic to cancel. Okay……how many victims will it take this time before Richard is stopped?

There are so many issues with this film but I think it’s safe to say that the biggest issue you will run into right away is just how depressing and mean spirited the film is. A high body count is to be expected but so many people keep dying and nobody is safe. A lot of these characters had nothing to do with the story and they’re still getting bumped off. Sure that’s technically true for a lot of slashers like this but I think part of the problem with having this take place in the school is you’re basically having a bunch of kids get murdered the whole time. We had an elementary school kid get bumped off in the intro even which is taking things a step farther.

Allowing the prom to continue is also complete insanity. Winn has a moment where he mentions that they don’t see any reason why Richard would come here. Really? They see no reason why the crazy psychopath who made it explicitly clear that he would do whatever it took to go back to Donna would try to attack her now that he’s broken out? That had to be one of the silliest lines in the film without a doubt. I could barely believe what I was hearing. Come on………come onnnnnnnnnnn.

Okay so the prom’s going to continue, but you’re going to let the hotel staff know that there’s a crazy guy on the lookout right? No, the hotel concierge asks the police officer if they should be afraid and he just says “Nah, probably nothing to worry about” and leaves. The hotel staff don’t know anything is wrong until near the end of the film so of course they start to get picked off too. I’d be fuming if I was the sole survivor from the hotel staff because that makes no sense.

Then of course Winn isn’t able to get the villain at the hotel so he tells the two police officers to keep a lookout at the house. Naturally both have to be completely isolated so taking them down is child’s play. Why even stay at the house? The first order of business should have been to take the characters over to the police station. Keeping them in the house that Richard knows the address of is crazy. Even worse is that Donna is kept to her room…where she is right next to a window. You can’t make this stuff up.

Now granted, Richard still shouldn’t have gotten as far as he does but apparently he is so skilled that he can take out virtually every opponent without making a sound. The house is also sound proof I guess because even with the door open and Donna screaming, the parents and Winn can’t hear her while not being all that far away? The amount of plot holes and stretches of imagination here are really pretty insane.

Going back to the tragic part though, it just feels like the film should have let more of the characters get a happy ending. Pretty much everyone was destroyed and the sole survivors are going to have a complex for the rest of their life. It doesn’t stop the film from having a fairly upbeat song for the credits but there’s nothing happy about the ending. There’s nothing really happy about the film in general which is something I have an issue with. A slasher film will rarely be happy of course but the tonal contrast here was a bit much. The film would try to be really happy at times and it didn’t work because obviously you can’t feel that good when everyone’s getting destroyed.

The film’s not as bloody as you would expect but it still tries to be as violent as possible within the confines of not being an R rated horror flick. Characters get stabbed tons of times and the deaths are all rather grisly. Nobody seems able to put up even the slightest amount of a fight against this guy and the whole film feels futile for the heroes. Every scene has so much build up that you see the deaths coming several minutes in advance which is annoying. There are a ton of fake jump scares but they’re always before the real death to the point where you can pretty much set your watch to them.

At one point Dillon even has a dream of the future about what’s about to happen and….she decides to do everything that she did in the dream anyway. A bit of an odd choice if you ask me, wouldn’t you want to not do what you did in the dream even if it wasn’t real? I just don’t see why you would actually try to copy your answers there. Seems like a recipe for disaster by any metric. It’s why hiding under the bed wouldn’t be a good idea since that worked last time so don’t do the same thing twice. It was also rough that she didn’t step in to save her mother. Obviously that’s easier said than done and in the moment it’s hard to make that decision but it’s yet another brutal scene. The cast of characters are all pretty forgettable and the romances are all paper thin. There’s just nothing of substance in this title. The film almost should have just played this off as part parody with the heroes deciding to have the prom party instead of cancelling it.

I keep going back to that because the whole scenario is absolutely crazy. Nothing makes sense in this film, people don’t act the way they should with a mass murderer on the loose with an obvious place of attack. At least in most films the characters reasonably don’t know where the villain will be but this time they actually do know. A whole lot of lives could have been saved if Winn did the responsible thing instead of waiting to see this all play out.

Overall, Prom Night is a film that you should absolutely avoid. There are no redeeming qualities to be found in this film. It starts off rather brutally and ends on that same note. There are no scenes that are actually all that happy because they are happening in the context of ugly things about to happen to the cast. There was basically no escape for them and any victory is a rather hollow one. The slasher genre tends to be doomed right from the jump and this film doesn’t do anything to convince you otherwise. It’s very by the numbers and for a genre like this that’s about as bad as it gets.

Overall 1/10

Event Horizon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Event Horizon is one of those films that reminds me why I’d never want to be stuck anywhere in outer space or underwater. At the end of the day you’re stuck with a bunch of people that could go crazy at any point. Sure you might know them to an extent but being on your own for a long amount of time can change everything. This film slowly has the cast cracking and the whole time you’re shaking your head. They lack the willpower to succeed!

The movie starts with a crew being formed to try and find a spaceship that went missing many years ago. The crew isn’t thrilled about this since they were on vacation but hey a mission’s a mission right? Well Dr. Weir will be coming with them to explain the specifics since this mission is very different from most. Of course that’s another reason for the crew to dislike the mission since they aren’t finding out the truth until they’re stuck in space. Basically they have to use some super experimental technology to jump through a wormhole into another dimension to grab the ship and then head back. Sure it didn’t work for the first ship but the tech is better now! Well they do the jump and make it to the other ship but now their ship is busted. The heroes are ready to make the repairs but weird things start happening. The crew see visions and are slowly going crazy. Will they ever be able to go home?

So this film’s mostly pretty bad but I can say it wasn’t all bad. I really liked the music. Seriously it was pretty great, felt like I was entering some kind of big action movie. Mix that in with the sci-fi effects and yeah this definitely seemed like a winner. That being said, It’s one of the only positives I can really say about the film. The rest of it tends to go for a lot of shock value and just doesn’t seem like a good idea when you’re trying to be a good film. The characters make a bunch of awful decisions and while you can blame some of it on “the darkness” it doesn’t help them.

Okay so lets start with Dr. Weir. At first he seems fairly reasonable. He wants to complete this mission and is taking it super seriously. He doesn’t get into space as much as the crew so he doesn’t really comprehend the dangers but he did build this experimental sci-fi tech so if anyone knows how to pull this off then it should be him. Unfortunately he has significant skeletons in the closet which start to break him. The ship shows everyone illusions and so of course his are easy to pull out from the past. It’s a rather brutal one and the whole build up to the tragedy is rough.

The film loves its special effects to make the characters as ugly as possible. Lets just say there is a ton of violence in this film. I would easily put it on the high end for a horror film. Not just because of what happens in the present like multiple characters getting impaled, disfigured, and blown up in the vacuum of space but also in the quick flashes the characters get when the ship is messing with their minds. It’s typically all happening so fast that you can barely even tell what is happening, only that there’s something bloody and disturbing on the screen.

Still even with the visions it’s hard to feel any sympathy for Weir. The guy is really responsible for this mission in the first place so he needed to hold it together. By the end he is a complete pawn who wouldn’t even be all right if his plan succeeds which hurts quite a lot. As a villain if you don’t really have a grand master plan or anything like that then you are basically just spinning your wheels. You’re not actually doing anything and at that point you’re just a psycho.

Starck serves as the main heroine here and does her best. She is able to resist the illusions better than most of the characters and has to put up with everyone being really slow on the uptake. The most annoying moment for her had to be when the captain told her to find an explanation on what was going on. She did find the reason (evil spirits) but he didn’t believe her. It’s a shame because by this point in the film you’d think that would be a very credible option. Seriously you had everyone seeing crazy illusions, things not working as they should and a mysterious reactor turning on when that’s supposed to be impossible? You’d think the captain would hear her out at least.

Miller is the captain and for the most part he looks good. While he didn’t believe Starck, at least he did spend most of his screen time trying to keep the crew from murdering each other. He had a tight grasp of what it means to be a leader and was always making the hard calls. I would say he was the most reasonable member of the team and was also able to realize that the spirit was manipulating him with the past later on. He has a big scene in the end as well. The guy was definitely real determined.

Throughout the movie you’ve really got a big survival thriller feel going on. In general that should be solid as the characters try to live but with the evil spirit using the powers of memories and illusions it’s just not thrilling. You already know the characters will fall for this and that there isn’t much they can do about it. That’s the most annoying part about all of this. For example one character sees her son running around the spaceship. Obviously there is no way he can be here and yet she falls for it anyway.

It’s up to you to determine to just what extent the spirit has full mental control over the characters but evidently it is a massive amount. The characters seem to be completely unable to resist its control at times and other times they at least know that something iffy is going on. I think if you cut out all of the random violence then you may have something here. Perhaps it will be less “exciting” in terms of action but I think the movie would be able to hold its own. The way it is there just isn’t anything to like about it once the spirit starts to make its presence felt. Seeing the characters start to get corrupted one after another is supremely annoying.

As you’d expect the ending does have a bit of a horror zinger to end things off with but it’s a bi more passive than you’d expect. I actually think the movie could have been a whole lot bolder here. The ending is definitely throwing some strong implications at you and of course I’m on the side that everyone’s doomed but you can always look at the ending in a different way. It’s certainly open for interpretation.

Overall, Event Horizon really went off the deep end. The initial scenes are decent, I would say it started out well. It all just goes downhill once the evil spirit starts to consume everyone and trick them into being destroyed. The film starts to feel aimless as it’s just about everyone dying in gruesome ways. Additionally there seems to be no real way to escape the evil influence or to fight back against it so everything seems futile. The idea of being alone in space with something after you is absolutely solid but they should go with a more tangible threat next time. Something like….an alien!

Overall 1/10

Blade Runner 2049 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Uh oh, Blade Runner’s back! This series has to be one of the biggest missed opportunities in all of cinema. How do you mess up a future setting filled with androids that look like humans and corporate finally taking over the world? Well you do it by not exploring any of the fun aspects of this and instead dragging out every scene as long as possible. There are so many scenes that are just quiet as we get a lingering shot of the sky or the city. I know they want to show off the special effects but the plot grinds to a standstill way too often.

The story starts off decently enough as we see K enter a guy’s home and murder him. He’s basically an enforcer for corporate whose mission is to destroy old replicant versions. The ones that can no longer be trusted and are out of date. He’s very good at his job, in fact many would say that he is the best. The guy doesn’t fail and he never lets his emotions get the better of him. That being said, this next mission is a little different. He is tasked with murdering a replicant that was born from another which should be impossible since they aren’t fully human. Additionally K has mixed feelings about this because that could imply that this person has a soul. Can he go through with this mission or is it time to resist against the system?

Since there are more negatives than positives let me go through the good first. One of the villains is an android named Luv who actually makes for a very imposing villain. She’s a strong fighter and is quite ruthless. Her emotionless demeanor holds for most of the film although she does not like to have competition so she has a personal vendetta against K which appears later on. She gets sloppy towards the end but was otherwise a very intense killing machine that fits in with this Terminator kind of future.

In general the fights could also be good. At times not as good as possible when it just resorts to who can hold a choke hold the longest, but when there’s an actual fight then it can be enjoyable. For example there’s one scene where K’s ship is downed by a group of rebels and instead of meekly falling to the ground like most protagonists he just breaks the first guy and starts shooting. As I always say, if you’re likely going to be murdered anyway, at least go down with a fight!

The other positive I can say is there are some nice visuals here. The shots of the city actually do look nice and you could appreciate them more if they weren’t so dragged out. Likewise there are some good bits of dialogue and the idea of deciding what line you won’t cross as a contracted killer is always an interesting one. More so when you aren’t even sure if you can truly defy your programming.

The main problem with the film is in the execution. I’ve already talked about how everything is super dragged out and I’d say it’s because this movie has enough plot to probably fill 30 minutes easily and then you have a lot of fluff here. I believe the reason is that the film was trying to pack in a lot of lore and world building so you can understand what kind of world this is but that’s just not needed. You already understand it pretty well from the opening scene as well as the intro explaining what is happening.

Blade Runner also relies quite a bit on fanservice throughout the film in the most random of scenes. We see the process of creating an android which is shown in the most disturbing way possible while still keeping in fanservice. It’s to show you that Wallace is completely insane and one of those guys who lost all of his morality a long time ago. We could have basically guessed that though without that super long scene. Seriously that scene was really long and you can just tell us he’s evil without having such a long moment about it. This came in fairly early into the film to really make sure things didn’t get off on the right foot.

I would have probably just cut him out of the film entirely to be honest. You don’t need a specific main villain for this kind of film. A board of directors or something would work just as well and they still send Luv out to take K down once and for all before finishing the mission. They’re looking at this as cold hard calculated facts so you don’t even need an over the top evil villain at all. If anything it oversimplifies things by giving you a concrete main villain instead of reminding you that the whole society is crazy by this point.

Then you have the romance of sorts with K and the holographic figure known as Joi. Now how much you buy into this romance will depend on just how real you think Joi is. It’s established that even this deep into the future the robots don’t have souls yet which is why the situation of an android kid is such a big deal. At the same time, is he really hurting anyone by falling in love with a program? Even in real life you’re seeing that and well..it’s definitely something. I don’t think the plotline itself is awful but the romance is very cringe and drawn out the whole time.

I could definitely do without all those scenes. If you’re going to go through with the A.I. fantasy then I think giving her more of a solid personality beyond just being his love interest would certainly help. She literally does feel like she was just created to suit his needs which is basically what happened so without more depth then that’s it. She does obviously care about him and wants to help but it’s all programming.

This doesn’t do K any favors either since it makes him look really desperate. He was also a full villain for most of the film as he carries out his orders without thinking about the morality of it. You can understand this based on his origin but the whole time you’re still waiting for him to turn good and it sure takes a while. The only character who acts like a hero from the jump is Deckard and it takes him way longer to appear than I thought. He was a fairly big deal in the promotions and everything since people were looking forward to seeing him. I think he would have personally worked a lot better in this film as the lead compared to K. K’s great for the fight scenes but it’s not like he’s a great character either.

If the film could focus more instead of going for all the shock value then I think you could have a lot of promise here. The film just gets really gritty at times like with Wallace’s first scene and then it drags on a lot during others. So what you have here is a lot of time not really spent on advancing the story. If you want to make this a slow boil event then you need to really focus on the philosophical aspect more like K wondering if he’s a real person or not. Having to wonder if you’re an organic life form or fully robotic is an interesting angle and of course the whole conversation about having a soul.

These plots are all handled better in other mediums though. Also, as was one of my complaints in the first film, the movie doesn’t make the most of the Sci-Fi backdrop. Sure we do get more this time like flying cars and sci-fi projectors but a good portion of the film takes place in old locations like a small hotel, inside the compound, or abandoned forest areas. The main guy has a basic gun and a flying car but we’re still not seeing as much as you would expect from 2049. In movie-land I should say. In the real world I don’t think things are going to particularly look all that different 20 years from now.

Overall, Blade Runner 2049 serves as a warning bell for when robots take over the Earth and wipe us out. That said, you can see this message much more effectively by watching the Terminator films or the CGI Blame! film. Those titles are way more direct about it and also balance the action and warning tones a lot better. This one’s just way too drawn out to have an effective message and is focused on the wrong things. I couldn’t possibly imagine re watching this one and the negative moments severely overpower the positive stuff. That’s really the movie’s biggest problem. Perhaps the third film can change things but I have my doubts.

Overall 1/10