Category Archives: Live Action Movies

The Terror Review

Posted on by
Reply


Prepare yourself for a very eccentric film. I know that I sometimes critique films for not having any real twists or turns, but this film takes that a little too literally. There are twists within twists and nothing that you see or hear can be trusted in this film until the very end. Even the atmosphere of the film is fairly mysterious and eery. One thing’s for sure, you may not remember the specifics of this film, but you won’t be forgetting the actual adventure.

Andre is a lost soldier who somehow got separated from the rest of his French regime. Luckily, he was saved by a fair maiden by the name of Helene. The girl vanishes, but Andrew asks around and figures out that she lives in the Baron’s castle. An old lady in a cottage told him this and while she seems to practice voodoo and has a Raven who can shape shift, she is clearly trust worthy. The Baron does not want to let Andrew in, but the “hero” threatens to bring down the full wrath of the French government if he is now allowed entry. (He is a high ranking officer so he can do this)

The Baron has no time for these games though. He is being haunted by the ghost of Ilsa. She wants him to destroy himself because he murdered her after finding out about the man that she kept around on the side when she thought he wasn’t looking. Meanwhile, his loyal butler Stefan murdered the side man (Eric) The Baron is reluctant to comply with the ghost for obvious reasons, but he starts to wonder if maybe he should. This Andre person is complicating things though because he can see the ghost too, but calls her by a different name and while she did try to murder him a few times, he never takes it personally.

All right, lets pause here before getting into the twists. Yes, there will be spoilers this time because you can’t not explain the twists here. It’s what makes the film so priceless. First off, Andre is clearly not the brightest bulb on the block because the murder attempts that Ilsa goes for are fairly obvious. Her ghost leads him to a marsh of quick sand, but he noticed in time because of a pebble that he kicked. She almost led him off a cliff as well, but he noticed on time. She tried to destroy him several times, but Andre is oblivious to all of this and just wants to find her anyway. The Baron acts as if he doesn’t know what Andre is talking about, but it’s a little too obvious to try and deflect. Moreover, acting tough and trying to talk back to Andre fails when he is shaking in his boots the whole time because of Ilsa.

All right, you may be wondering what happened to the old lady and the shape shifting Raven right? This is where the film slaps you silly with plot twists. First off, The Baron and Stefan never managed to murder Eric and Ilsa. See, we thought that Stefan murdered Eric while The Baron took care of Ilsa right? Wrong! Somehow, The Baron managed to get to Eric after taking down Ilsa, but Eric ended up murdering him instead. Eric then suffered a complete mental breakdown and began to really think that he was The Baron. Stefan knew about this, but played along for kicks so I guess he was never that loyal after all.

The old Witch was the mother of Ilsa and she blamed the Baron for her death. She couldn’t have known that Eric had actually beaten the Baron and assumed his identity. She was pretty clever and used her black magic to give a Raven the ability to turn into Ilsa, but with the ability of flight, super speed, and shape shifting so fast that it appeared as if she vanished into the fog each time. How did she manage to keep this up for 2 years while having Ilsa appear everywhere and nobody ever noticing that it was actually a raven? It’s magic! Thing is, the Raven began to have ideas of its own and somewhere along the way, Ilsa’s actual ghost decided to show up. Perhaps she was tired of watching “Amateur Hour” being played out by all of these second rate villains. Ilsa decided to finish everyone off once and for all by breaking the underwater dam that “Baron” kept around to drown them all. We get a pretty fierce fist fight between “Ilsa”, “Baron”, Andre, and Stefan.

Suffice it to say, Andre managed to get out of there alive with Ilsa, but then she decomposed since her mission was complete. Now Andre can go home and share this story with the other soldiers…if they’ll ever actually believe him. A lot happened in this film all right. It may take you a little bit to process just how crazy this film got. It may have gone overboard, but I salute the enthusiasm that the film showed and it was a good effort. It really kept you guessing the whole time…even if the plot twists didn’t always make a lot of sense. You really can’t trust anyone here.

This is the kind of film where everything is so strange that you wouldn’t be shocked if it was all just a dream of meta with some kind of deeper meaning. Regardless, the film did a good job with the tone. Between the mist, the empty backgrounds, and the creepy castle, this film always had a tense and mysterious atmosphere. It accomplished that part of the film pretty well. I can’t say that the film was all that good though. The main character is pretty annoying and the black mail may have been hardcore but it didn’t make him any easier to root for. The Baron was clearly unhinged and likewise with Eric. This film certainly shows you that rebounding never pays, but it’s not as if any of the characters got to live anyway.

Overall, This film is a tricky one to score. It’s a rare film where I didn’t even know what score I was going to give it as I was writing the review. It’s partially because the film wraps itself up in a haze so it’s hard to remember some of the specifics. I can’t remember a whole lot of negatives except I do remember a general recollection of not thinking the movie was all that good. I suppose it’s not that bad either so a solid 5 sounds about right. It’d definitely a strange little flick and I’d recommend checking it out if strange is what you’re looking for. You can think of it as a Twilight Zone episode of sorts, but the slightly modernized version. It’s not all that long and giving it at least one watch may be good for you. I won’t really recommend it, but I wouldn’t tell you to steer clear of it either. The film’s just around and it’s one that I won’t soon forget.

Overall 5/10

A Face in the Crowd Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time to look at a fairly old political film. It’s a good time to do so as it went back to theaters to “celebrate” the arrival of our new President. It’s a pretty fun film that overstays its welcome a little bit by the end. It went in a different direction than I would have expected, but nonetheless it’s not all that bad. I dare say that it is a little mean spirited though so get ready for everyone to get their just desserts.

Larry was doing time in a prison cell when a reporter showed up. Her name is Marcia and she had a neat radio show where she gets people to sing. Larry agrees to do it in exchange for his freedom and the cops are cool with that. He sings some tunes and Marcia realizes that he is destined for greatness. Larry already knew that, but it was nice to see it confirmed. He rose up from small time radio host to a celebrity so influential that even the President answered to him. Life was going well, but unfortunately, the power corrupted him. Larry began to go after everything money could buy and no longer identified with the average joes of the world. He began to destroy everything so Marcia and the others realized that it was time to put him down for good.

So, the film started out pretty reasonably. It was nice to see Larry slowly grow more and more popular while keeping his ideals in tact. He wouldn’t accept sponsors and liked to do things his way. Little did we know that it wasn’t because he was super noble or anything like that. No, it was just because he likes being his own boss and didn’t want to have to follow someone else’s rules. To an extent, Larry is likable. He’s a very charismatic guy and his yell/laugh hybrid is pretty iconic. He’s definitely a take charge kind of guy and he never would have been such a success if not for his personality. He did earn his spot at the top in this film, which is why it’s a shame that he fell so far. He began to go after every girl like James Bond while still acting as if Marcia was actually important to him. He also became as two faced as the politicians that he had always strove to be against.

He said one thing on TV and then another once the cameras were off. It was definitely a pretty drastic change and you can’t blame anyone but himself for how his career ended. I mean, you have to not be very smart to go on such a rant the instant that the cameras were off. That’s really just asking for trouble. While Larry started out as good character, he wasn’t likable by the end and I suppose that was the point. I can’t say that I cared for Marcia either. She started out as a tough reporter, but by the end she was being used as much as all of the other characters. At least she did make sure to walk away with the money before sabotaging Larry though. That was a smart move, but it didn’t make her any more likable either.

There was a reporter who spent a large part of the film trying to get Marcia to realize that Larry was a bad apple, but it was futile for the most part. He was meant to be a pretty likable character who kept it real and just stuck to the facts, but it felt like he was just talking nonsense half the time. He was trying to be very deep and eloquent with what he was saying, but it just backfired and he didn’t get a good line until the very end of the film. It was a little too late by then.

I thought that the ending was handled well. For a second there, I actually thought they were going to make it really dark and have Larry off himself in the end. While it is left to your interpretation, I like to think that he did not. He was crushed pretty badly, but he definitely seemed like the kind of guy who would keep on trying and that makes the ending a little less intense. If it had flat out had him die in the end, that would have hurt the film quite a bit.

I suppose the film was trying to make a point about how people flock to magnetic personalities even if the individual isn’t all that good. They can be mind controlled via group think, but at the same time, this moral came at the expense of Larry’s character. It’s not as if he was a saint in the beginning. The guy did start off in jail after all. However, he was a likable enough guy and he always made sure to just do whatever he wanted. He just let the job control him in the end and I would have liked the film to have taken a different path, but it’s not as if the film did a bad job with it.

I’d just say that the film wasn’t all that fun during the second half. It became more about Larry betraying Marcia over and over again until she finally betrayed him. The film got to be very somber with every character constantly heading to the bar to collect themselves. It was very dramatic and in stark contrast to the very lighthearted, comedic beginning. You could barely even believe that this was the same film. It was a pretty long movie so it was able to have these two “acts” while ensuring that both got a lot of screen time. I certainly preferred the first half.

Overall, A Face in the Crowd is a decent political movie. I prefer to see more of the actual politics since Larry is more of a middle man, but it was a nice little look at the whole thing. Politicians do get advice from a bunch of people so they can hopefully get elected and make connections along the way. We rarely see this aspect of the whole thing. I would have liked for Larry to have stayed as more of a protagonist and it would have made for a much more enjoyable film, but it just wasn’t in the cards. If you want to see a film that also serves as a warning about not forgetting your roots and losing your identity, then this could be a good film to check out. If you’re already confident that this is not a problem, go watch DBZ: Broly The Legendary Super Saiyan since you can turn your mind off and just enjoy the fights.

Overall 5/10

Son of Frankenstein Review

Posted on by
Reply


After that last Frankenstein film it seemed that things were looking up for the series. Well, they head back down with this film although it is still significantly better than the first film. It’s problem is just that the plot ends up going nowhere and a large portion of the film is spent with boring dialogue and annoying main characters. The writing is good since this is an old film, but the lines just feel pointless at times with no actual plot progression to speak of.

It’s been a while since Frankenstein was taken down for good and now his son has returned to the land to claim his inheritance. I don’t think the timeline was very well thought out though since he meets up with a one armed police chief who was in the first film, but it’s apparently been at least 20-30 years so he shouldn’t be the same age. Also, he claims that his arm was ripped out as a child by the monster, but that can’t be true. So many questions and so few answers. Anyway, Baron wants to revive Frankenstein to prove that his father was correct in creating him, but is this smart?

First off, Baron is an extremely annoying character and having him as the lead can grow quite tiresome. I don’t see how he could possibly want to bring Frankenstein back or how he can really think it is a good idea. I think just about anyone can realize that this is not the smartest move you can make. Everyone in town already despises him and the guy does have a wife and a kid to look after. Putting them all in danger just for the sake of his reputation is quite bad. It also made for a very awkward carriage ride with his wife as he went on a long rant about how his father was right while she just looked confused and nervous. It’s probably a good time to start talking about how the house should be good rather than this. Baron just seems very on edge and shifty for the entire film and was definitely not likable in the slightest. I’d rather just have the normal Frankenstein back.

We’ve got Ygor as the main villain, but I don’t think I can take him seriously. He’s not exactly a character who screams “Main Villain” and he’s never been all that serious before so why start now? Furthermore, Baron should have taken him over to the cops right away after the guy tried to murder him. Not doing so was a rather large error in judgment and one that the Baron would continue to pay for over and over again. The Monster also returns for a rather large role of course, but he just seems like a shell of himself here. It definitely does feel like this film had a completely new staff since he seems to be based more on his legends than on the actual character from the previous two films. He’s back to being his usual unlikable self. While he does have some self control at times, it’s hardly enough to make him interesting in the slightest.

As for Krogh, he was solid. At least he actually gave Baron a chance unlike all of the others who wrote him off just because he was related to Frankenstein. It was certainly not the warmest welcome that the town gave the guy. At first, Krogh appeared to be antagonistic as he kept beating around the bush and talking about his past, but I suppose that was all misdirect or the writers weren’t sure what was happening at the time. It was definitely a tough ordeal for Krogh, but he stayed strong and was nice to have around. The townspeople were interesting as well as they seemed a little more petty than usual. They threw fruits at the main characters and just tried to act as mean as possible the whole time. I don’t think Baron cared as much as he implied though since he was too busy trying to become a mad scientist.

The film’s biggest mistake is certainly the fact that it’s very boring. Now, it’s interesting because you’d think that a horror film that’s mostly slice of life shouldn’t be all that boring right? After all, Nisekoi is a series about a guy trying to remember his days as a kid so he can remember a promise and involves a lot of happy days at school and it is never boring. By all accounts, Frankenstein stories should be more interesting right? I’d say that the issue is you expect Frankenstein to be a little more about horror and less about characters just talking around. If anything, getting rid of the Frankenstein angle could elevate the rest of the film since you’d be going into it with a Andy Griffith kind of expectation. By trying to attempt both genres, Son of Frankenstein ended up succeeding in neither of them.

What’s a real shame here is that the film’s setting had promise. The inside of the mansion that Baron inherited had a pretty interesting architecture and I wouldn’t have minded exploring it a little. The kid wasn’t overly annoying, but luckily he didn’t appear much so that was a good thing. Baron would have been a more compelling character if he either hadn’t believed in the monster or wanted nothing to do with it anyway. Then we could have had Frankenstein appear to avenge himself and they would have had some fights and mind games. It all wasn’t to be though and the film somehow manages to lose all of this potential to the winds. What could have helped was also a plot that made more sense because as I mentioned earlier, it just feels like plot holes are everywhere.

Overall, Son of Frankenstein is a pretty weak third film. It’s not nearly as bad as the first film so that’s a start at least. How I see it, the first film was just bad and super violent. The second film was interesting and had a decent mix of comedy and horror. The third film didn’t have much of a focus and became boring as a result. They all failed and succeeded in different ways so at least you can’t say that the series doesn’t try to experiment a little. If you’re a big fan of Frankenstein then you should probably check this film out just to add it to your collection. Otherwise, I’d advise you to just check out the Bride of Frankenstein instead and to leave this one to the history books. After all, it’s not as if you’ll miss much right?

Overall 3/10

Bride of Frankenstein Review

Posted on by
8


Looks like it’s time to take a look at the original sequel to Frankenstein. I did not like the first film and I’m not a Frankenstein fan in general. I didn’t walk into this film with high expectations and I was not disappointed. That being said, it is a considerable improvement over the first film. It’s not nearly as violent or grotesque and handles itself rather maturely this time around. It can still be a bit of a tragic film at times even when it tries to be funny so it can be hard to tell when you’re supposed to be laughing or feeling sorry for the characters. I usually voted for the former.

The film starts off in the “real” world as Mary lets everyone know that the story isn’t over yet. We have some really over the top actors who yell about this and everyone gets excited so she tells them what happened. It turns out that Frankenstein’s monster didn’t die because he fell into the river and Frankenstein didn’t die because his body is very durable. This prompts Doctor Pretorius to arrive and tell Frankenstein that he wants to make a female version of the monster. Frankenstein halfheartedly refuses so Pretorius kidnaps his wife. Frankenstein now has to work against time in order to save her, but can he really duplicate the experiment?

The main improvements from the first film all stem from the reduced violence. The first film had a little kid drowned and we saw way too much brains and body parts for my liking. It was pretty distasteful and this one steers clear of all that. Even when they’re creating the bride, it’s never graphic. The film just isn’t violent in general and the victims are far fewer in number. We do have a few people die of course, but they’re casually thrown aside for the most part so it isn’t all that bad.

Frankenstein has changed a lot since the first film. He’s now incredibly timid and fears everyone. He’s always getting picked on and forced into doing things that he doesn’t want to do. However, he reverts back to his mad scientist phase whenever there is work to be done and it’s like he never changed at all. It would have been nice to have seen him have a little more will power. Naturally, he did have to go ahead with the project to save his wife, but he could have done it in a sane way instead of losing his mind once he was back in the lab.

Pretorius takes over Frankenstein’s role from the first film and I do certainly have to admit that he is smart. The first thing he does is to get the monster on his side and that was crucial since his plan would not have worked otherwise. His use of “Miller Time” and Cigars was a very potent combo. He always has the upper hand on the monster as he even drugs the poor guy later on. Pretorius fears nothing and is just very confident from start to finish. He was a pretty good villain and while it never felt as if he had much of a reason to do what he was doing…do mad scientists ever need a reason to do something? They just do whatever they want for kicks.

Minnie is the main comic relief character of the film and she does a good job in the role. She always talks a good game and is one of the only characters to insult Pretorius to his face. She is smart enough to actually run away from the monster and tries to warn the heroes even if they refused to listen to her. She certainly did a fine job if you ask me. As for the Bride, I guess she was fairly reasonable. Her reaction wasn’t all that bad when you consider that the heroes didn’t give her a chance to relax. Plus, who wants to be thrown into an arranged marriage the instant you are born into existence? Nah, the first thing you’d want to do is get out of there!

The Monster is all right I suppose, but he’s still not very smart and the monster noises can be annoying. I was glad that he finally learned how to talk a bit as the film went on. I figure that will make him a much better character in the sequels although it seems like I wasn’t on the same page as the writers. At least the monster tried to live a calm life at one point and was doing just fine with the blind guy in the hut. It’s a shame that the hunters had to wander in at that point and wrecked his one chance at a happy ending. He didn’t get burned this time and while he was captured at one point, he was able to break free pretty quickly. He certainly had a much more enjoyable adventure this time around.

Be warned that the title of this film is pure click bait. The Bride doesn’t appear until the final 5-10 minutes which is pretty disgraceful. She only gets roughly one line before the film has to end so if you were watching the movie to see her in action, prepare to be disappointed. It’s really just Frankenstein V2 as the film takes a lot of similar twists and turns. It seemed like it was meant to be a homage to the original in a lot of ways even though it had just come out. It was just handled far better than the first film and as a result, the film wasn’t half bad. I can’t say that it’s the kind of film that I’d want to watch again, but it wasn’t a chore to watch the way that I would have expected it to be.

Overall, If you’re looking for a horror comedy film, then this could be the right film for you. At the very least, it’s one of the best Frankenstein films that you can hope to see. That being said, it’s still not all that great and it’s short length ensures that the film has to run through the plot. The ending is pretty satisfying though and that’s always a good thing for these kind of films. Scooby Doo may still be your best bet when it comes to horror comedies, but this one gives it its best. Can the third film manage to defeat this one? I somehow doubt it, but we are getting closer to the Werewolf and that could certainly end up being another story.

Overall 5/10

When Harry Met Sally Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would likely be far more negative.

It’s time to look at a romance film from not so long ago that has two characters over complicate the topic of whether a man and a woman can be friends. The answer is as obvious as it is simple, yes. Still, it gets to be a little harder when you’re the two main characters of a mainstream Hollywood type film and both constantly run through relationship after relationship. Maybe it is then inevitable that the friend zone will start to crack.

The film starts off with Sally and Harry going on a road trip over to New York City. It was convenient for them to share the car and I’m assuming that they both paid half of the gas cost. That’s when Harry brings up the topic that they could never be friends while Sally disagrees. Eventually, she realizes that she won’t be able to convince him otherwise and they part ways upon reaching NY. 5 years later they run into each other at an airport and then continue to see each other briefly after 5 years. Finally, they both run into each other again and decide to hang out. As they are both in relationships, Harry declares that maybe they can be friends again, but only time can tell if he is right.

As the film is all about trying to answer this question seriously, it’s time to bring my insight to the table. It’s actually sad that the film spends so long trying to answer this question only to bring back the incorrect response. Spoiler alert, Sally and Harry get together. Men and Women can absolutely be friends. Unlike what Harry would have you believe, you don’t immediately look at someone and wonder how you can be more than friends. That’s just Hollywood. For myself, I’ve had more female friends than male ones. Now, we can discuss the differences between friends, acquaintances, and co-workers, but getting into all of that will just take a while. Needless to say, the difference isn’t extremely large. Friends are people you’d spend time with outside of work whereas the other two categories have meetings that are exclusive to the location you’re at.

I like to think that I get along with just about everyone. Outside, I tend to attract either the elitist “PC Master Race” crowd from guys or the more business stuffy ones who have no hobbies. I still find topics to talk about though and everyone has a hobby if you dig deep enough. However, I end up talking more with girls because they are the ones who actually end up being big anime or video game fans. With guys I talk about politics and life a lot which is fine, but I certainly prefer to talk about my hobbies. Also, I just don’t have as many opportunities to talk to guys because in my classes it’s usually 80% girls to 20% guys and at work at one point, all of my floor’s co-workers were girls. We finally got some more guys, but for a very long time there were none. I don’t think there’s anything complicated about the whole thing, you can be friends with anyone and that’s why this film’s premise is pretty laughable, but I tried not to hold it against the film too much…

Unlike Hannah and Her Sisters, I can at least say that this film was pretty amusing. It had a far more upbeat nature and didn’t dwell on any really dark plots. It’s not meant to be the kind of film that gets you thinking or wanting to subtly get out of the theater. It’s supposed to give you a few laughs as you go through the adventure. It’s entertaining enough to mask its flaws during the watch. This isn’t a good movie in the end, but as far as romance comedies go, it certainly could have been worse.

Unfortunately, I did not like Harry or Sally. Harry is your standard Captain Kirk esque character who moves on from one person to another very quickly. He is constantly in an affair, but they usually don’t last a week. He actually made it all the way to marriage once, but then he was still dumped. After all of these rebounds didn’t work, Harry finally remembers good ole Sally. Meanwhile, Sally has also gone through a bunch of different guys and has a hard time getting over her multiple ex’s. I don’t get why the two of them have such an issue with that though, you’d think that they wouldn’t really care much after they were broken up. Certainly not enough to have a panic attack in the middle of the night right? Well, I guess they just weren’t ready for the romance game.

As mentioned earlier, I didn’t care much for the ending since it was basically trying to prove that Harry was right all along. That’s the last thing that I wanted to be proven since Sally certainly had the right idea all along. They could and should have been friends rather than just having a one off affair for no reason. Based on who they are, it’s hard to imagine the ending sticking either and she’ll have to look at everything that he says carefully since he was a very iffy person from the get go.

Harry and Sally each have a best friend who they use to communicate with each other behind the other person’s back or just for life advice in general. Naturally, those two get together since nobody can not get together by the end of a film. It was just another sad coincidence for the main characters, but either way I’ve always found blind dates to be rather dubious. It just seems rather desperate if you ask me and if you’re meeting for the first time as a date, then it’s hard for that to be a proper relationship since it seems like both parties don’t care much to learn about each other. They’re just launching right into the date.

Overall, When Harry Met Sally is a very cynical kind of film where you learn to doubt what everyone says at face value and always look for hidden agendas. It’s not a very fun way to live and if you followed Harry’s advice, your life would be pretty miserable. Even if you don’t automatically believe what people say, there’s not much reason to think on it. Just move on from one conversation to the next and it won’t matter too much whether it was true or not. The film isn’t quite as deep and wise as it leads you to believe, but it can be fun to see the heroes over complicate every single issue and act as self proclaimed experts. At the very least, you should have an enjoyable enough time watching the film if you sidestep some of the dicey conversations and just focus on the comedy. If you’re looking for a film with valuable life lessons, check out Magi Madoka Rebellion. It’ll help you debate with yourself whether it is right to save someone without their consent at the expense of other people or to strive for the greater good, but lose your best friend. These are the tough questions that require a long explanation as opposed to this film’s premise which you can answer correctly with one word.

Overall 3/10

The Young Messiah

Posted on by
2


There are some movies that had good intentions and just didn’t work so well and others that had poor intentions from the start. This one is the former and the plot just didn’t do it for me. The film had to take a lot of liberties to be a full length feature film, but at the same time I just can’t picture a lot of this happening. Now, I won’t profess to be a super expert on the Bible where I can tell you 100 quotes or have all the families of David memorized, but I do believe that in the Bible it is heavily implied that Jesus lives a very ordinary life as a kid. He didn’t stand out and that’s why we didn’t hear about the great miracles he performed or his status as the Savior until after he had grown up. This film has him performing many miracles and in front of large crowds at the age of 7. (Apparently anyway based on the poster) He even has to run from the authorities because they find out and it becomes a huge debacle. I’m just not sure about this.

One big plot point in the film is that Jesus is initially a seemingly ordinary child and he doesn’t even know about his abilities. Gradually, he starts to gain knowledge of them and at times he personifies his role as the son of God and then he’ll turn back to normal. It’s almost like his body is slowly being taken over or his mind is being awoken from a long sleep and I’m not sure about that either. Granted, there aren’t really any easy answers for this. Did Jesus just take up one day when he was an adult with his full knowledge or had he always known ever since he was a kid? I actually like to think it was the latter personally. I believe that Jesus was essentially a perfect child and that he simply lived a very quiet life. He wouldn’t lie, steal, or make any moral mistakes that many kids make, but at the same time he would learn how to read and write the same as any other person.

After all, God chose to come to Earth as a man in order to live among us and save as many people as possible. I think it’s definitely feasible that as a result, he wouldn’t have immediately brought about his all knowing mind and other abilities that would make him stand out from the start. That’s why I can picture him knowing that he is Jesus Christ and just gradually growing up normally until it was time for him to act in the public sphere. Furthermore, I imagine that he waited to act until it was the perfect time for him to have an influence on as many people as possible. As a child maybe he knew that less people would be more convinced or that it would hurt in the long run. God knows all eventualities so he would ultimately choose the best route.

As I mentioned, I do think it was a nice effort in concept though. Biblical scholars have made a profession out of reading the Bible and trying to find more details that are hard to catch or can only be noticed by cross checking various books in the Bible and even other sources. You can find out a lot of fascinating things online and I’m sure that they would love to learn more about Jesus as a child. I just think that there isn’t much to find because he just wasn’t standing out at the time. Did Jesus have to content with bullies when he was a kid? Maybe. Did he have to revive a boy who was killed by the Devil in an attempt to frame him? That one’s a far greater stretch, but you never know. The point is, the film had to take a lot of liberties to make this a film, but as long as it doesn’t directly contradict the Bible or attempt subtly make Jesus or other individuals look bad, then it’s fine.

Overall, This can still be a good film to check out if you find the premise interesting. I personally prefer to relive parts of the Bible or listen to scholars speculate what may have happened back in the day based on their findings. I just find those more interesting than a film like this one, but it’ll really depend on the individual. At the very least, you can be sure that the writers probably did their homework on how the scenery and surroundings may have looked so that can be fun to see. It is good to see so many Christian films coming out nowadays and hopefully that trend will continue. The God is Not Dead series is certainly still my favorite, but we have had a nice array of titles that span many different genres. Hillsong, Risen, The Young Messiah, God is Not Dead, and many more. There is something for every Christian to check out. Some of the films didn’t go very well at all like Noah, which changes so many things that I even wonder about the intentions. I certainly would not be surprised in the least to see some “Christian” based films that exist only to discredit and confuse Christians rather than spread awareness. Always be prepared for every trick in the book in this day and age. I’m not sure which film is coming next, but I shall be awaiting the next Christian adventure.

Hannah and Her Sisters Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for a film about betrayal and deception along with some drugs to add to the intensity. Hannah and her Sisters is one of those films that is held back quite a bit by the unlikable cast and it seems like everyone loses out in the end. All of the characters are just a little too warped to find interesting and the ending is certainly not satisfying in the slightest.

There are three main plots here. First, there is Hannah and Elliot. Hannah always tries to be a very reliable person who has a plan for everything. She never does drugs, lies, or cheats on her husband. This makes Elliot upset since she is seemingly so perfect and decides to cheat on her with her sister. You can probably imagine what a terrible plot this is and lets jump right to the ending here. One of the main reasons why it is so bad is that Hannah never actually finds out. Elliot is forced to give up his other affair because he was dumped and then heads back to Hannah. She’ll never know that she was just the rebound character or that her husband is actually not a loyal person.

The second plot involves Lee and Frederick. Essentially, Lee starts to regret living with a super old guy who has disillusioned himself with reality. That’s why she decides that cheating is her best way out and from there she finds a third guy and the situation continues to get more and more messed up. It’s another pretty terrible plot that will make you shake your head or even face palm if you have the energy for it.

Finally, we have the plot with the ex drug addict Holly and Mickey. Holly has finally gotten off the drugs, but now she can’t decide on what she wants to do next and switches her career choice every other day. She likes to blame everything on Hannah as well just for kicks. She meets up with Mickey who has just quit his job and plans to live his life just running around as he searches for answers. These two hit it off immediately and this plot is also rather annoying, but I will say that it is better than the first two plots.

You can already tell that this film is just pretty bad though. The characters are all given so many flaws that you can’t even tell what they’re supposed to be good at anymore. Hannah is the only character who is even reasonably good. It’s pretty obvious why Lee is no good and likewise with Elliot. That whole plot was in pretty bad taste. Holly wasn’t likable since she was always blaming Hannah for everything and never even apologized for it. I don’t see her novel idea working since the only persoin to really like it is a guy who’s slowly turning crazy and then she’ll have another confidence breakdown. Frederick’s no good either as he turns away all potential buyers even though he’s low on money. The man has way too much pride.

Mickey may add the most levity to the film, but he still gets to be too much at times. For starters, quitting his job after finally being given a clean bill of health was onie of the worst moves you can make. He also moves on very quickly as he gets dumped by someone and rebounds to the sister. That seems to be a trend in this film and it’s certainly not a good one. With how desperately the sisters are looking for a guy in this film, you can’t help but feel that all of the romance is fake. If you’ll settle for anyone that’ll have you, then something is absolutely wrong in that scenario and it’s time to reflect a little.

It’s not as if I typically enjoy romance films anyway so the deck is stacked against the movie at the start. To battle against this, a romance film needs good writing, solid characters, and a good overall plot. This film had none of that and managed to sink even lower into the genre. As a whole, it certainly doesn’t help to improve my view of it. Moreover, I’ll take a rom-comedy over a rom-drama any day even though some drama is always added in by the end anyway. At least the former doesn’t take itself so seriously and typically won’t have all of these really tragic circumstances.

Elliot really should have gotten some kind of consequences though along with Lee. Both of them had very happy endings at the end despite being the worst characters in the film. It didn’t really feel fair to the others. If everyone has the same ending despite some characters being good and others being bad, then it’s pretty iffy.

Overall, Hannah and Her Sisters is a film that I’d recommend avoiding. Between the drugs character, the cheater, the liar, the crazy guy, the old man, and everyone else, you have a lot of reasons to stay away from this film. Even Hannah’s parents are messed up as the Mom flirts with everyone despite being over 60 so the parents end up fighting a lot. Mickey’s plot may add some levity to the film and it started out pretty decent, but gradually got watered down and extreme. I think his plot shouldn’t have merged with the others and it would have been much better. Regardless, if you’re looking for a good romance film, I’d advise you to keep on looking. This is definitely not the movie that will fit the bill for you. You’re better off watching re runs of Blues Clues as that show at least offered a compelling mystery during each episode.

Overall 1/10

Island of Terror Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for another one of those really old films. I’d say that the poster is click-bait, but I suppose that the aliens could maybe consume the world someday…maybe. Either way I can’t really say that they’re very scary, but they’re deadly enough to make them a legitimate threat. While this pales in comparison to the average creature feature, it’s not all that bad. I can’t imagine anyone taking it seriously even back in the good ole days though. It’s just too fantastic, but not necessarily in an epic way.

It would appear that the scientists are busy at work creating more menaces. They finally have a breakthrough and create an all powerful snail which can destroy a person with a single touch by sucking up all of their salt. Hopefully you’re one of those “No Johns” after a match or you’ll be a quick target. Brian, David, and Reginald have to use their scientific knowledge to find out what this creature’s weakness is and how they can destroy it. The problem is that it begins to split every minute or so and eventually starts to take over the island. At its present speed, it’ll even cover the world soon so every minute is precious. The one question on everyone’s minds is “Do these things actually have a weakness?”

As this film is also part horror, you’ll notice that the heroes rarely make the right decisions. At one point they are face to face with one of the creatures. Keep in mind that they are exceptionally slow so they should never land a hit right? Wrong! One of the main characters walks a little too close to one of them and then makes sure to trip so it gets the arm. Luckily another one of the leads was nearby with an axe so his partner was saved, but this is how the monsters keep snagging people. One overconfident hunter decided to walk under a tree as he didn’t see one camping into it and the fall was fatal. The creatures start to pick everyone off one at a time like this because there is no other reason for the people to lose to them. Even Constable John wasn’t safe as he decided to challenge one and didn’t fair so well. Apparently they are bullet proof as well.

Brian David and Reginald are all pretty similar characters. They’re all scientists of some nature or other and none of them have any real answers. It takes them a while to get any headway, but at least they keep it together for a while. One of them doesn’t however and that is David. He completely cracks and while this is the only thing that distinguishes him, it’s not something that you want to have on your resume. He grabs a lethal injection and tries to give it to Toni so that she won’t have to endure getting drained by the monsters. I certainly don’t agree with the sentiment and the worst part is that he doesn’t tell her about it. He tries to administer it to her without her consent. David just acts like everything is normal and subtly gets ready to end her life, but then they realize that the monsters are dying with a delayed reaction so everything is okay. David almost made a crucial mistake and Toni never even realized it. I thought that was pretty horrible and ruined David as a character. Toni was likable enough though. She was rich and had good connections. The character felt ahead of her time and while she didn’t help too much when the monsters showed up, she was useful overall and helped out the rest of the protagonists quite a bit.

I did like the film’s twist ending. It makes sense that America would be the first to create the monsters, but that other countries would try to copy us eventually. Japan comes up with its own version and it could prove fatal as the heroes admitted that their cure only worked because it was an island. In a major city with infinite tunnel ways and directions to choose from, nothing can stop the monsters. It’s a rather gloomy ending as the world is officially doomed now, but it’s handled with appropriate levity and was a fun way to end the film. You could argue that the humans deserves it as well since their cure was pretty bad.

They decided that the only way to beat the monsters was to force them to eat a bunch of cows that they had poisoned. So much for not trading one life for another right? It was definitely a pretty bad call and as everyone consented to it, it shows how noble these guys really are. I like to think that a real main character would have stepped in and prevented this from happening. There’s always another way after all and this one just was not worth it. Hopefully the monsters find their way back to the island quickly to take everyone out. The rest of the inhabitants were also pretty annoying as they kept picking fights so aside from Toni, there weren’t any real great characters. I liked the Sheriff well enough, but he didn’t last too long and the other scientists were fairly generic. Not bad, but they just didn’t have much character.

Finally, I should mention that the characters do come up with a pretty bad final plan. They all hide out in a closed room so that the monsters can surround them. Can you guess how the monsters react to this? They break in through the windows and the ceiling so everyone starts to get wrecked. Luckily the cure had started working by then so they were dying, but it wasn’t a smart plan. Since the monsters are slow, outrunning them in the wild makes a lot more sense than putting yourself in a building. This kind of mistake happens in a lot of horror films and you’re always left shaking your head. An open field is always preferable to a locked house, the latter just limits your options and seals your fate. Don’t make the same mistake as these guys, that should be your takeaway from all of this.

Overall, The Island of Terror is a pretty straight forward Creature Feature. It plays it by the book and the monsters had a decent enough design. I would never actually call them threatening to be honest, but their abilities were unique and being able to duplicate yourself is sure to come in handy for many occasions. The film had a reasonable sense of humor and didn’t take itself too seriously. It wasn’t all that violent and the suspense was handled well. I didn’t appreciate the mass cow slaughter though and that part holds it back a bit. Surely there should have been a bunch of better ways. It’s not a bad film and you should have fun watching it, but there are dozens of better films to watch from this era so you should check out one of those instead. This is the kind of one shot film that will be lost to the history records and I can’t say that it deserves any better, but at least it’s the kind of obscure gem that is interesting enough to watch.

Overall 5/10

The Apparition Review

Posted on by
Reply


This film is the ultimate example of why you shouldn’t hang out with sketchy characters. The main heroine is put in the most unfair position possible as she is surrounded by people who know that an all powerful entity is coming to slay them all, but they all lie to her face about it. By the time she figures it out…it’s too late. The Apparition is just a film that’s not very fair and doesn’t mind letting you know this.

Kelly is living an ordinary life with Ben. They talk about the future and life is full of possibilities and fun. That starts to change when they find weird mold in the house and suspicious things start to happen. It almost seems as if something is in the house with them, but that can’t be right? Kelly knows how this works and a monster shouldn’t be after them if there’s no reason for it to be angry right? Well, Ben doesn’t know exactly how to tell her this, but he was with a very shifty cult a while back and they decided to awaken an evil spirit for kicks. The chant worked and the spirit murdered his old girlfriend. It has been hunting down all of the members one by one, but Ben doesn’t believe it’ll ever happen to him.

This is for 2 reasons. 1. Ben’s not very smart. 2. Ben doesn’t believe in spirits even though he saw one murder one of the group members in front of his eyes and has repressed all knowledge of the event since then. He has also conveniently ignored his email and phone messages til now. As the situation gets more and more our of hand, Ben decides to look at his email and sees over 20 warnings from the only other member still alive, Patrick. Patrick warns him that the monster is getting stronger and stronger so he should probably get out of there. Ben doesn’t let Kelly know of course, but luckily she is actually pretty smart and breaks into his Laptop to find out what’s going on.

Naturally, the two of them don’t get along much after this and I’m certainly on Kelly’s side with this. Once again, it’s just too late though. Just by association to Ben, the monster wants her now. It has reality warping, teleportation, super strength, telekinesis, and a bunch of other super abilities. Needless to say, the heroes do not stand a single chance. It also likes to mess with the heroes so it toys with them for the duration of the film. It likes to wait until the heroes are too weak to resist or have completely given up, then it moves in for the kill. If you don’t get weak and have a strong will then the monster loses patience and will just murder you so it’s as I said. You were doomed from the start.

Ben never does anything to make you find him even semi likable here. Even once it’s night out and he decides to camp with Kelly outside, he doesn’t take his job seriously. He falls asleep right away and when he wakes up, he leaves Kelly all by herself to investigate a noise he heard on the other side of the house. Shockingly, nothing attacked Kelly in the mean time, but it continues to show why Ben just isn’t very reliable or the kind of guy you want to have your back. You just don’t know how long he’ll have your back so it’s best to just fend for yourself.

Patrick was a reasonable character to an extent. He was a lot more likable than Ben, but that’s where the buck stops. It was his idea in the first place to wake up the spirit and then he wanted to do the experiment again. With modern technology, surely it wouldn’t fail again and make things worse right? Well, I’m afraid that it does and you’ll feel like rolling your eyes when they’re surprised about this. He built himself a little hut behind an electric fence and trapped himself in a cage so that the monster couldn’t get him. Yeah…that didn’t work too well. The heroes try to go in the cage too since if it didn’t work the first time, maybe it’d work next time right? It ended up failing again. That’s when Kelly had the amazing idea to head to her local Costco. After all, you can’t keep running on an empty stomach right? Unfortunately, she went to the tent section and that was her final, fatal mistake.

You can barely call it a mistake though I guess since her end was inevitable. The film plays out like a classic horror so that means there are a lot of negatives here. For starters, the next door neighbor has a dog. This is a bad sign and all experienced movie goers will likely realize this. The Dog always dies, so much so that there is a whole website devoted to warning you ahead of times which films have a dog death in them. This one is no exception as the Dog tries to fight the Apparition and is defeated. The film was doomed either way, but taking out a dog is the icing on the cake. There’s no going back from that. We even had some fake jump scares afterwards with a little girl warning them that she’s on the Spirit’s side and a lot of other iffy moments. While it may have been a nice gesture for Kelly to give the neighbors a new dog, I think it was misguided. If your Dog was murdered, would you suddenly want to get a new Dog the next day? Not only are you putting another Dog in danger, but it’s hard to just “move on” like that. It wasn’t handled very delicately.

I actually can’t recall the obligatory shower scene so I’ll give the film some credit for that, but take it lightly as I may have just forgotten about it. I could fact check that, but I’d rather not so if it is there, just feel free to deduct another star from this review or half a star. The film’s not overly violent at least as it prefers to just have a tense atmosphere and some spooooky visuals. The scene where a character is crumpled up like a piece of paper is done well and likewise with them being thrown around the room.

The Apparition’s signature attack is similar to Robin’s from One Piece. It will materialize hands around you as they choke you to death or just bring on the fear. She is even able to materialize from your clothes to bring you into the Underworld. Once you’re in its grip, it is exceptionally hard to break out. It’s a pretty strong monster and it can hold its own against the other big ones in Hollywood. That being said, they all tend to have the same powers and personality so it’s not as if this is surprising.

Overall, The Apparition plays it by the book. It doesn’t really do anything new or unique in the Horror genre and just uses the same old jump scares and creepy visuals. It falls into the animal violence trap and also has a very annoying main character in the form of Ben. Kelly wasn’t bad, but I would have gotten as far away from Ben as possible. It’s too bad since they got along well, but being put in the death list for a supernatural entity is a pretty inconsiderate thing for Ben to do to her. There’s nothing really good to say about the film at all and the heroes make the wrong moves so often that you’ll be shaking your head. It seems like there is always an excuse not to leave the house and considering that Ben was making most of the excuses, it just makes you more and more irritated the whole time. If you just like watching horror films in general, then you should enjoy this one. It has all of your usual cliches and such, but if you want a film with more heart, check out Poltergeist 3. It doesn’t play by the usual rules and that’s what made it so good.

Overall 2/10

The Night Walker Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for another retro film. This one involves large leaps in logic though so don’t expect it to make much sense. While it’s an ambitious plot, the writers were clearly not up to the task. It’s unfortunate, but if every writer was really good then it would be hard to know who was actually good and who was just posing right? This isn’t really a bad film, but the plot will take you out of it.

After a verrrrry long intro where nothing really happens, we learn that Irene has been having dreams about an affair with another person. She’s married though so this is troublesome and her husband doesn’t like it. He panics quite a bit, but dies in an explosion so now Irene is able to enjoy her dreams…right? The problem is that they start to feel very real and she sees the dream man every day. She tries to just get involves with her business and forget about all of this nonsense, but it persists and she even ends up marrying the guy in the dream world. It all felt so real though…hmmmmm.

Lets not beat around the bush here. There is no way you wouldn’t notice someone breaking into your house every night and messing with you. Irene was taken on many trips, she went to clubs, a wedding, and had many adventures with her dream man. Do you really think there is any way she would not have realized that this was all real and not just some dream? If it was originally a dream, then the villains shouldn’t have been able to have created an exact duplicate with a quick wig. It’s the kind of plot twist that is supposed to be clever, but just doesn’t work at all. You have to either believe that Irene is one of the least intelligent protagonists out there or the writers were out of their depth. The plot makes 0 sense and just wouldn’t work.

I will give the film credit for trying to get intense at the end. It didn’t work and was actually chuckle worthy, but we got to see the main villain grab some dolls and start breaking them. He did it in the most dramatic way possible as he ripped them limb from limb and gradually grew more and more upset as the dolls wouldn’t break so he had to keep on trying. The scene lasts for a very long time and I didn’t actually think that the film was going to show us each doll one at a time. It’s fortunate that the villain had this much time on his hands since Irene walking in would have wrecked the entire thing.

While I may not have chosen the “Irene isn’t very smart” option, it doesn’t take away from the fact that she really isn’t all that bright. When she goes to the hair salon, Joyce tries to strangle her and Irene is barely able to break free. Does Joyce at least briefly consider that maybe Joyce is one of the villains? Nah, Irene buys the phony excuse that Joyce was just worried about her lack of sleep. I have no doubt that Joyce would have given Irene a nap, it just would have been a permanent one. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that something was a little screwy there. It does give the film a slight sense of humor though as this all gets so crazy that you expect the film to get self aware about it. The film never does so that’s a missed opportunity, it actually takes itself very seriously. Yes…even the “breaking the mannequins” scene.

Irene isn’t a likable protagonist. It is pretty sad that she dreams about a made up guy every night and while she is not actually doing anything, it’s still a betrayal in the sense that she wants to be with another man. She is still married at the moment so it’s not the kind of dream that you should be having. You may try to respond with the old “You can’t control your dreams” but lets face it, that was disproved years ago by me. Now, maybe it takes some practice for people who aren’t used to it, but I’ve controlled my dreams for years. I don’t even really get them anymore because my “dreams” are basically just my thoughts that continue to fly until I’m fully awake again. For example, I’ll relive my old 2016 set at Apex where I was up by over 100% against my opponent and he got a super lucky shot in. I’ll start my projection by imagining myself sidestepping the blow and winning the game. From then on, I win the next sets and go on to win EVO. Usually I fall asleep somewhere during my third buffet party and my next World Championship victory and the next thing I know…I’m awake again. I can never tell when exactly I fell asleep, but the point is that my “dreams” are always just continuations of what I’m thinking about. I have full control over them and even when the dreams start to get fantastic like demons show up and I’m some kind of Galactic Hero, I can always control what I’m actually doing. It’s not as if I’m watching someone else control my body, if I did then it would be an android or something.

TLDR, Irene isn’t very likable from the beginning of the film. It doesn’t help that she isn’t very smart either. Barry isn’t very good either. He talks a good game and only loses his mind a few times during the film, but he’s never very helpful and you’ll see through him right away. Joyce is easily the most compelling character in the film because you’ll keep wondering what her stake in all of this is. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get to do much once you find out the answer to this question since certain parties had to make a move. She really got the raw end of the deal in this film. Howard’s made to be a pretty unlikable guy as well. He’s overly paranoid about Irene betraying him someday so he just expedites the process. Also, who keeps an explosive facility in the attic? Not a very smart move. An even worse one is that there is apparently a switch inside that triggers a fake explosion. Smoke comes out along with a big bang, but aside from being very convenient to the villains, what purpose did this device have? It’s another question in a very long line of them.

Overall, There are a lot of coincidences in this film and even with all of them, the plot is riddled with holes. Clearly this plot was simply too ambitious and should have played out in a very different way to make sense. At least Irene has a fairly good time of it in the end since she got to have her fun and play the field while also getting to watch the villains wrestle around for a while. She didn’t ultimately have to do anything by the end except watch all of the villains shoot each other and die at the same time. Was it convenient? Yes. Was it a likely scenario? No. Does she care? Probably not. Irene got the happiest ending you could imagine and it just goes to show that if you’re ever in danger by multiple gunmen, buy some time and they’ll take care of the problem for you. I sort of recommend this film as a title to poke fun at and laugh for a while, but it’s not technically all that good so there are better movies for you to watch.

Overall 5/10