Megaman (Marvel) vs Mega Man


Nathan_Cooper_616
Mega Man Bullet Bill
Megaman (Marvel) was a very intriguing character. I got to read his issues via a Nova collection that came out pretty recently. He’s certainly not all that powerful although he can fire energy blasts and is strong enough to punch through a door. That kind of feat is nothing to Mega Man though and a single Charge Shot should be able to end the round. I still wonder if Megaman (Marvel) came close to coming out before the classic Blue Bomber, but either way it was a bold move on Marvel’s side. Still, we know that there will always just be one true Mega Man! Mega Man wins.

King Cold vs Hulk


KingColdVsFutureTrunksV01
Hulk-the-incredible-hulk-14044617-1280-960
The Hulk is certainly one of the strongest comic book characters out there in terms of physical strength, but I don’t think he really has what it takes to defeat King Cold. King Cold has a nice flurry of energy blasts and luckily he has the video games to back him up as well. Without those, the fact that he didn’t get to do anything would have probably resulted in Hulk’s victory by default, but the games have shown what he can do and mix that in with his power level…the Hulk would be doomed. After all, I think Frieza in his first form could beat Hulk. King Cold wins.

The Walk

3AKWDXX
It’s time for the final film based on true events for now. This one’s an intriguing case due to the fact that what Philippe is doing is illegal. In Everest, the film was made because the Captain did a good job of helping most of the people get off safely. In Captain Phillips, Phillips defended the crew from pirates. In The Perfect Storm, it was because of how unique and incredible the storm was. In this film, we’re celebrating the fact that Philippe…broke the law and walked on the highest tight rope? Erm…wait a second…

Granted, it’s not something that you may think of right away, but it’s an odd thing to be celebrating. The film also makes sure to constantly mention the fact that this is illegal so they’re certainly not trying to hide that. The film doesn’t even go out of its way to try and make Philippe a likable character. I was puzzled at that since I’m sure that his family may not be thrilled at his portrayal here. He shifts from one emotion to the next very quickly and is very unreasonable. He also yells at the person he was flirting with the entire film a few times because she’s trying to let him know that he’s going crazy.

Luckily, Philippe gets friend zoned at the end and you definitely have to agree with the decision there. As it stands, the romance didn’t start off on the healthiest note anyway as they met because Philippe was immediately flirting with barely even a pretense of wanting to be friends first. The only silver lining about that is that we all know the whole “friends” line is just fake and only meant to lower your guard so you shouldn’t bother with it, but it’s still not a great romance and luckily it ends.

Finally, Philippe is also portrayed as being a little dangerous at the very end. It is heavily implied that he was willing to seriously injure someone if it meant that he would be able to do the walk. Someone happened to notice him getting ready for this illegal endeavor, but Philippe grabbed a weapon and the guy decided to just walk away from it all. In the narration, Philippe said that he didn’t know how the weapon got in his hand…but nobody would ever actually buy that. It’s obvious what the implication is and it’s another scene that I was surprised made it into the film.

At the very least, you can’t say that The Walk wasn’t a straight adaption I suppose. The planning phase of the film was fun to see and that’s always very technical and impressive. Naturally, it would be a lot harder to do this nowadays thanks to cameras and everything so it’ll be very tough to break the record of the highest tight rope. How interesting the film is will naturally depend on how much you like tight roping and if you will actually like the characters or not. Most of them aren’t that good, but this is based on a true story and since a lot of real people tend to not be as likable as the ideal fictional leads, it makes sense.

Of course, back to the main point of the plot. So, Philippe is illegally doing this endeavor and after he succeeds…then he’s essentially given a medal. It’s a very dicey string of events. If he had failed, it would just go down in the news as another foolhardy endeavor that was doomed to fail and Philippe would certainly not be heroized at all. However, he succeeded so everyone acted as if he did something incredible and awesome. Sure, it’s a new record by a long shot, but it’s illegal, which is why it hadn’t been done yet. I think it’s safe to say that other people could match that feat if not surpass it, but they’d be breaking the law.

As DVDs are always sure to tell you in the beginning, there are no victim-less crimes. Acts like this one embolden others to try and accomplish similar feats whether they are legal or not. For every person who succeeds, there will be many who do not and that’s where the true danger of something like this comes into play. Of course, everyone in the film is pretty happy about this for the most part as well since they’ll be stopping the big wigs and that is actually super accurate when you think about the citizens of New York, but it’s definitely sad for the cops. It’s pretty hard to keep law and order when people are subtlety encouraged to break the rules. Not to mention that one of the cops even gives Philippe a pat in the back at the end for accomplishing this. Gee….that’s charitable.

Not undermining the feat of course. It’s still impressive that he managed to pull this off, but it’s not something that should really be glorified. I wonder if people realize just how illegal this was. Those who watch the film certainly do, but for those who just remember the event, it would be fun to ask them. Well either way, he ended up setting the record and it is unlikely to ever be broken. Especially if you’re wary of heights like I am. If you want a similar adrenaline boost that’s legal, try going to Mount Everest. Just keep in mind that you may not survive the experience so write your will beforehand. Meanwhile, I’ll be getting my hype and adrenaline through Super Smash tourneys.

It’s also worth noting that I much preferred this film to Captain Phillips and The Perfect Storm. Everest was better, but this film was definitely entertaining. If you look at it more like a film and less like an adaption of felons breaking the law, you’ll also enjoy it a lot more. It’s like Ocean’s Eleven you could say. I also liked the cats that appeared, although dogs would have been even cooler. The friend zone was also pretty hype. So, check out the film and then think about whether or not you agree with the public’s reaction and the legacy that has survived this feat.

Celia vs Crocodile Dundee


Celia
5112b
This is sadly a close fight. Celia has magical abilities, but they seem to all be defensive like shape shifting or letting people breathe in water. Her abilities grow while under water, but how useful would she be above it? Crocodile Dundee is a comedy character from his movie trilogy and he’s not much of a fighter, but still has normal human adult level strength. For now, I’m going to give Celia the slight edge as her magic’s gotta count for something and at the very least she can use it in reverse to make Crocodile Dundee be aqua compatible and then in a battle of the water fighters, Celia would have the edge. Celia wins.

Captain Phillips

captain-phillips-poster
Time for another super realistic story. This one’s about a boat that was attacked by pirates and the Captain of the crew was able to ultimately stall them long enough for the heroes to make it to safety. It’s naturally a gruesome battle between both factions, but not a whole lot of actual fighting since it’s more general action or in fighting among the pirates. Definitely not my kind of film and I’d argue that it could have been a much better adaption as well. You’ll be glancing at your watch quite a lot as this one goes on.

An interesting angle is the fact that the film gives the pirates a lot of scenes. I suppose that this is for development, but it comes off as more annoying than anything else. Let’s fact it, you don’t care about the villains because they’re just here to try and get rich as they shoot and injure the unsuspecting crew members. They have their reasons of course, but there’s no way that you’ll be able to generate any sympathy for these guys. None of the villains are likable as you might expect and there is definitely a lot of in-fighting among their members the whole time. One of them even bits the big one during one of the skirmishes.

Meanwhile, Phillips and his crew didn’t do the greatest job of stopping the pirates, but it may be more due to bad ship design than anything else. They’re going through waters where pirates aren’t just a random chance, but are actually expected. Why are there no guns or any defenses that are better than water turrets? Granted, water turrets aren’t a terrible idea, but the way that they were implemented is. Once you turn them on, you can’t turn them off so they just use up water as the pirates stay away until they are down for the count. This is where proper turrets would come in handy or at least a few rifles. It’s definitely annoying to see 3-4 guys take down a group of 20 or more.

On the flip side, it was great to see the government get involved towards the end. They came across as super professional and high-tech next to the other players. They got the good music and the best scenes. It’s a little iffy that they’re immediately reminded a lot that the hostage isn’t really their concern, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things you have to worry about the big picture. The person did sound super unsympathetic to the plight though. The government also looked unprepared in one scene as Phillips made a break for it and swam for a while, but the government’s budget cuts really hurt and they didn’t have any good flash lights. It was dark out so we can’t blame the government for slipping up…right?

The film is definitely pretty violent and over the top though. I’m almost surprised that it wasn’t R and expected it to be, but I suppose that it just made it. At least the pirates speak another language or else we probably would have been bombarded with language throughout the film. As this did not happen, I’ll give the film some mild props for that.

If you’re not too knowledgeable on what happened during this event, then this film should be very informative. Of course, if you don’t want to use up a lot of time watching all of the extra subplots and details in the film, then your best bet is probably just digging up some news articles. You’ll get more of the facts that way and you can do it in a much shorter period of time. It’s a win-win situation isn’t it? I believe that the film could have handled the adaption much better if it had followed 2 pieces of advice. One, they can definitely tone the film down quite a bit. That one’s pretty self explanatory. The other is that the villains should get less screen time. The pirates are not going to be sympathetic villains and no amount of screen time will really be able to alter that. The film could have used the extra moments to focus on the government or the film could have just been made a little shorter. That certainly wouldn’t have hurt the film in the long run.

On a final note, I also agree with the crew over Captain Phillips on not getting into the boat. See, one common mistake that people make is that they listen to demands when a gun is pointed at them, but just think about it. The classic situation of you and a villain pointing guns at each other and the villain says “Put the gun down” If you do…he’ll shoot you anyway. You may as well go for the sudden death. If it’s 5 vs 1, just rush the guy. He can’t take you all down, although if the other 4 chicken out then the gunman will win that round. The last example is the one in the film, don’t get into the boat because then you are outnumbered and defenseless. Nobody will typically be able to rescue you at that point so you should just accept your fate and make a break for it. At least try to escape instead of getting in the boat. When you think about it, that’s definitely your best move. Deciding to write a will when the villains told you to stop moving is another thing that I could really get into as the move made no sense and just resulted in another beating, but I think it’s clear why you wouldn’t make such a move. It’s not as if anyone would ever see the will anyway once you’re underwater and in enemy territory. A somber thought, but one worth thinking about before making such a move. Captain Phillips did save the day though and I’m sure that the situation was very different in real life. He did his country proud.

Little Mac vs Balrog (Street Fighter)


Boxerart
little-mac-enters-super-smash-bros-ring-1108627
In a pure hand to hand fight with no composite abilities, it’s safe to say that Balrog would have the edge here. His punishing attacks are simply in a different league when compared to Little Mac’s. Little Mac is quick, but Balrog is simply the better fighter. That being said, we’ve also got Giga Mac thanks to Super Smash Bros. One good hit from that form and Balrog will be instantly be down for the count. Little Mac wins.

Ereshkigal vs Thor


2340216-erishk_1
Ereshkigal has returned, but she’s in for a tougher fight here. The Starbrand ability greatly increased all of Ereshkigal’s physical abilities, but Thor is already used to fighting at a high level. Her energy blasts would be tough to deal with, but Thor does have Thunder and Lightning. I believe that he would be able to overwhelm her in a close combat battle and he has enough speed to turn this into such a fight. Thor wins.

Ereshkigal vs Living Tribunal


1810778-quasar_50_32
I had never heard of Ereshkigal before a few days ago, but I instantly knew that this was a battle that I had to do. She possessed the Starbrand for a period of time, which is evidently enough to make you Living Tribunal level. He talks a good game, but size is actually a disadvantage here since it will be easy for Ereshkigal to dodge his blows while LT is just one big target for her. Cosmic abilities are all that you really need in order to fight LT and while I respect the Tribunal for actually fighting once in a while, he’s still out of his depth here. Ereshkigal wins.

Plutonian vs Ghost Rider


2446972-irredeemable_8_by_fatheadwilson
ghost-rider
This is another pretty close fight, but Ghost Rider doesn’t have quite as many options as Thor. Plutonian can fly at high speeds so you really need to have a good level of air speed in order to keep up with him. Ghost Rider has an incredible ground game, but it won’t be enough since Plutonian can space him out and just fire off some good “heat vision” blasts from afar. Ghost Rider will have a very tough time trying to make this a close quarters fight once the battle has started and he won’t be able to last. Plutonian wins.

Thor vs Plutonian


thor1680
2446972-irredeemable_8_by_fatheadwilson
The Plutonian is certainly one of the most powerful parodies of Superman. His abilities actually aren’t physical, but simply appear to be due to his psionic abilities. Don’t get the wrong idea though, The Plutonian is incredibly powerful and he will certainly give Thor quite the fight. I’m inclined to say that Thor pulls out a close victory here, but he will definitely have a tough time dealing with The Plutonian’s speed. Thor’s experience is what will be the deciding factor here as Plutonian never got to show off his abilities quite as often. Thor wins.