Whatever Happened To Baby Jane is an old movie that got plenty of good reviews. Upon checking it out, the only question I have is..What!? This has got to be one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen. (It still beats Sucker Punch….barely) I can’t even….well, let’s talk about the plot first.

Jane was a pretty popular actor when she was a kid and stole the spotlight. She was pretty mean to the rest of the family let the fame go to her head. Her sister Blanche was pretty sad about this, but she got her chance for fame in the upcoming years. While Jane was forgotten, Blanche became a really popular actress. Eventually, they both retired and Blanche was in a car “accident” that caused her to lose the ability to walk. Now, Jane has decided to make Blanche’s life miserable and that’s the plot of the film.

This could have worked as a 5 minute short, but as a whole movie, it just couldn’t last. The cast of the film was pretty awful and there aren’t any decent characters in the film. They’re all really slow on the ball and can’t seem to piece two and two together. Jane is pretty psychotic and Blanche isn’t smart enough to call for help. Elvira lets the main villain get a hold of a hammer and the neighbors never get to help. Edwin gets drunk and is far too slow to be of any real help.

Now, the film was definitely going to get a pretty negative score as it dragged on, but the unnecessary animal violence was going too far. The film didn’t have many points left to lose, but that helped the film drop to rock bottom. There is a plot twist at the end of the film that doesn’t help matters. Also, one of the characters literally gets away with murder. The villain isn’t even arrested at the end. (I like to think that she was, but it’s never shown which isn’t very fulfilling)

In the end, films are meant to make you have a good time. They’re a form of entertainment, so if you aren’t entertained, then the film is failing. This film won’t have any scenes that will make you smile, or even any scenes that will make you care for the characters. It’s supposed to be a pretty tragic film, but there just wasn’t any point in the end. It’s like watching paint dry on the wall. Even Twilight has the occasional fight scene or trash talking scene.

Overall, this is a film that I strongly don’t recommend. It’s very long and not that exciting. Animal lovers should also beware and if you’re looking to rent this film to watch, it won’t be a very enjoyable experience. If you’re looking to find out which classics are overrated, then check it out, but make sure that you have a video game or book with you. On the bright side, anything that you watch afterwards will seem exciting in comparison!

Overall 1/10

Priest is a Vampire action film that came out back in 2011. I’m not usually a Vampire fan, but I’ve always liked one series on the subject. (Records of a Fallen Vampire) Does this movie change my mind about Vampire films? Well, they stick away from the biting cliche (For the most part) but the Vampire look like zombies for the most part.

The film starts out by telling us that Vampires came and started slaughtering the humans. So they called in the Priests. (In an animated scene that may make you wince if you don’t have a stomach for violence. Of course it is animated, so maybe you’ll let it slide) The Priests have some mild superhuman abilities (Like Captain America) which makes them strong enough to fight the Vampires. Throughout the film, the Priest doesn’t seem that superhuman, but superhuman enough to win most of his battles. The world has lived in peace for ages and they believe the Vampire threat to be over. One day, a girl is kidnapped by Vampires, so her friend enlists the help of The Priest to save her. The Priest goes to help, but now the other Priests are ordered to take him down.

Priest is a pretty good main character and he does what he can to help save the world. He’s made a lot of sacrifices, but he believes that he’s done them for a good cause and he always does what he thinks is right. The Church doesn’t see eye to eye with the Priest, so he is forced to renounce his vows and become a fugitive. “To go against the Church, is to go against God!” is the Church’s catchphrase, but the Priest seems to know that the line is completely false and he continues to have faith. The only moment that seemed a bit sketchy was when he interrogated a Vampire. I still have never believed that good guys have to resort to such crude methods. (Take Superman. He interrogates all right, but in a more heroic way) The Priest didn’t seem that strong, but he still did some decent damage to the Vampires.

The Priestess arrives later on in the film, but with her quick close combat skills and athletics, she makes quick work out of a lot of zomb-Vampires. She didn’t look so good in her initial appearance, but she made up for it during her later fights. The Vampires never knew what hit them!

Hicks is the friend of Lucy (The girl who was kidnapped) and he comes along for the ride. The problem is that he’s a mere mortal wielding a gun. He doesn’t stand a chance against the Vampires and is quickly dispatched when the battles start. Adding him was to make us have a human to root for I suppose. He could have been worse, but I can’t say that he was a great character.

We can’t forget about Black Hat! He’s the main villain of the film and his abilities far surpass that of the main cast. He’s faster and stronger than the Priest and he sees everyone in slow motion. Because of that, he completely dominates in every fight that he’s in. I always get worried when a character is so much stronger than the others because it means that the ending will have to have some major plot hax. (Plot Hax = A scene that wouldn’t really happen, but needs to happen so that the heroes can win. Or the opposite) Black Hat made for a pretty good villain. His only negative scene would probably be losing control at the end. I thought he had more will power than that, but overall that didn’t stop him from being a compelling villain.

The Council at the Church were pretty uninteresting characters. They refuse to believe in the Vampires and are quick to judge others. In the future, the Church seems to have been corrupted. Or at least, the Church definitely seemed a little off. The title makes it obvious that the film will have some religious elements, and it definitely does. The main character claims to draw strength from God and all of the good guys supposedly believe in him. Of course, the main characters murder many vampires, breaking one of the 10 Commandments every other second. Was it necessary? It’s one of those moral questions that you will need to ask yourself. At least the Priest never seemed to break any of the others and seemed to be a pretty honorable guy.

Overall, it’s a decently good film. You should be warned that the violence is very excessive and you probably wouldn’t want to take your kids to watch this film. The action can get as intense as Bleach, but luckily there are only a few cringe worthy scenes. (Animal violence) The fight scenes are decent and while there are missed opportunities in the film, it did a decent job of capturing the future. (Much better than the Hunger Games, but it’s no Final Fantasy) (Actually, now that I’ve brought it up. The film has a lot of resemblances to the Final Fantasy VII Advent Children movie. Same type of motorcycles, The City is extremely similar, hmmmm…) Anyway, if you like Vampire movies, then this is a good one to check out. If you’re looking for a futuristic action blockbuster, then head on over to Tron Legacy.

Overall 6/10