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Scooby Doo Ghastly Goals Review

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It’s time for a soccer adventure this time! The group heads to Brazil to enjoy the soccer festivities, but they’re quickly sidetracked by the mystery ongoing. It seems like a good time of just watching the big Brazil vs USA game is out of the question. The Mystery Inc. needs to solve this case or they will have let down the Soccer community! I also have to give myself some props here because I immediately guessed that the gang was in Brazil. Most impressive eh?

The villain here is a Jackal type creature who is strong enough to break the Soccer Balls with his fist. That’s no small feat if you ask me and it shows that this guy is not to be taken lightly. Luckily, Scooby Doo and friends are up to the task for a change and they actually engage the villain in a good ole fashioned game of Soccer. After all, it’s personal this time. The Jackal was a good villain, he lacked the Oomph that the Water Dino and the Mecha Mutt had, but I’ll take him over a Scarecrow any day of the week.

Unfortunately, Scooby Doo committed one of his biggest blunders in franchise history. He caused the U.S.A. to lose in the big battle against Brazil. Not only was it completely against the rules for Scooby Doo to suddenly switch Nationalities and fight under the opponent team, but we all know that the U.S.A. should have won the match. They were pressing hard and had the momentum. Why would Scooby Doo do such a thing!? It was a tragic moment to be sure.

Let’s get onto the suspects. The facts as we know them are as follows. There is a super scientist who has invented a way to make rubber stronger. If you inject a Soccer Ball with this fluid, it’ll launch across an area with tremendous speed and it won’t stop going for quite a while. This leads to quite a few plot hax moments towards the end as the Mystery Inc gang pass the ball to each other and suddenly it is moving at normal speed. The film thought that I wouldn’t catch this, but they were wrong! So, this Soccer Ball is now the target of the Jackal and it’s too bad since the ball was owned by a pair of kids who just wanted to have some fun.

Two suspects are naturally the scientist and his assistant. They may be using this as good publicity for their collective genius. There’s also the tough security officer who won’t let them see the doctor without an appointment. This guy plays by the book and the Mystery gang don’t agree with those methods. We’ve also got the owner of the stadium who runs a tight ship, but that may be where the problem is. Maybe this is just an excuse for him to sue someone. Only one person can (typically) be the culprit…it’s only a matter of time before Scooby sniffs him/her out!

As always, the animation and soundtrack are solid. Every scene is vibrant and colorful. It’s no Transformers the animated movie, but this film doesn’t resort to becoming a Flash animated film and stays with the tried and true formula. I can’t remember any tunes so maybe calling the soundtrack “solid” is a little strong, but it works well enough I suppose. The food always looks delicious and that works for me.

See, it’s hard to animate a good slice of pizza at times. To date, the Arthur cartoon did the best job of animating it by showing off how much cheese there is supposed to be in a slice. We get some pizza here as well, on a stick. I think this is probably just a super exaggerated account of the food options over in Brazil, but I wouldn’t mind eating all of these things on a stick. The Pizza still looked great and I’d take the burgers as well. I’m pretty hungry right now so I would certainly take one of those options right about now.

The special is only around 20 minutes so it’s very fast. The plot never has a chance to drag on and it’s one of the perks of these TV specials as I mentioned earlier. Everything moves at a fast pace and this has had some success for films as well. Just look at Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. That’s still the best film of all time and it’s incredibly short. Quality defeated Quantity in this case. These specials can easily take on some of the Scooby Doo films. It’s definitely a franchise that continues to do a good job getting the characters in new/interesting situations.

I haven’t talked about the main characters in a while since they never really change. That’s an intentional thing since you don’t want to mess with a good thing, but it’s safe to say that Fred’s still the best character. He has his sad moments, but so do the rest of the gang. For the most part, he does a good job commanding everyone and thinking up the plans to ultimately save the day. Shaggy is classic since eating all of the time sounds like it would be a blast. I never cared for Velma all that much and I’m not a big fan of Scooby Doo either. Daphne’s good, but it’s always annoying when they make her act like a flirt instead of the hardened reporter that we’ve come to know from Zombie Island. I still wish we could get a hardcore rival character like the one from the Pup Named Scooby Doo show. That guy was classic!

Overall, This was a solid Scooby Doo film and probably the best one out of the 4 specials that I saw. The hard hitting Soccer action is always intense and it was good to see Scooby and the others have a more active role in going up against the villain. Typically they’re too scared to try any of this so they finally realized that when together, the Mystery Gang is a force to be reckoned with. I’d definitely recommend it if you want to see a quick, but fun adventure.

Overall 7/10

Scooby Doo Mecha Mutt Menace Review

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Time for the next Scooby Doo special! This one looked a little more interesting immediately because we’re getting a Giant Robot Dog! Are you hyped yet? It’s essentially the return of the Zoids and as that was a very underrated franchise, it’s good to see it make a comeback. I can safely say that this villain was a lot more intense so get ready for some fights.

Scooby and the gang were having a good ole time when they happened upon the convention. They were aiming to win this one with Fred’s new trap that throws you into a glued net after disarming you of all metals. Instead he catches a shifty lady who is the daughter of one of the world’s greatest scientists. She quickly becomes the first suspect since all new characters foot the bill and she seems to want to make an enemy out of Daphne. (Unintentional I’m sure…) The Giant Robot Dog that her father owns goes on a rampage though and disappears. Her father dashes away and the cops aren’t so sure of what’s about to happen next. We also learn that the father didn’t actually invent the dog and one scientist is resentful of that. Hmmmmm. There’s also a creepy scientist who likes the daughter and isn’t afraid to admit it, but nobody takes him seriously and he makes a big mess of things whenever he is around. The show makes him as exaggerated as possible so it’s hard to find him even remotely likable.

Let’s get the technical aspects out of the way from the get go. The animation is good as always. We actually get some laser blasts and punches thrown so that’s always great. Everyone looks sharp and the character models are accurate. The soundtrack is pretty standard, but it gets the job done. That’s what count I suppose. Scooby Doo is technically consistent and has been for a very long time at this point.

Naturally, the big draw for the film is the villain. The giant robo dog is great. He can fire lasers and has quite the large amount of raw power. With one slap, he was able to knock Scooby Doo’s large dog robot through a lot of canisters and dented a wall. It was probably the most action packed moment that we’ve seen in Scooby Doo in quite a while. A good villain can always up the stakes for a film…and the intensity quite a bit. That’s what the robot did here.

One plot that wasn’t quite as good though was the one between the daughter and Fred. Why do we need a fake/forced romance here when we all know how this is going to end. At least Melanie played the friend zone card right away, but Fred didn’t really get the memo and it can get a little sad. Haven’t we seen this very same plot many, many times over the years. It never gets interesting to be honest, but it’s not as terrible as the Velma romance that we got back in the day. Now That was very wince worthy and hurt the film. This plot doesn’t really hurt the film since it’s not all that bad, but it doesn’t exactly help it either.

Another thing that I found a little iffy was how Shaggy and Scooby enjoyed the space food so much. I’m not saying that it’s terrible, but the goop just doesn’t look visually appealing. Give me a nice pizza or a Cheeseburger any day! They better enjoy it though because for 3 months that’s all that they’re going to get. Let’s ignore the ramifications of how this looks for the space station since it doesn’t really matter. Isn’t this a super tragic ending for the two? Being alone in space for 3 months without any supplies is really sad. They’ll have the food rations of course, but with their appetite, I have to wonder if it will last. Also, if this was going to be an unmanned rocket…then maybe there is no food. In that case, I’m going to assume that chronologically this is the final Scooby Doo film and they didn’t live through the experience. Ah well…better luck next time I suppose! Meanwhile, it was good to see Fred’s genius showed for once. He actually invented something practical and useful so just think about that for a second. He’s an excellent/capable leader as well as a genius apparently. No wonder he’s the leader of the Mystery Gang, he’s certainly earned it as this point.

Overall, This was another solid Scooby Doo special. The mecha fights were definitely the best scenes to be found here. The ending is also actually a little tragic when you think about it and was quite unexpected. I definitely recommend checking out this one. It’s really short since it’s also about 1 episode’s length so the pacing is always very smooth. You’ll be missing out if you miss out on this one.

Overall 7/10

Scooby-Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow Review

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It’s time for the first of four Scooby Doo specials that I recently saw. It’s always interesting to see these because they are essentially really compressed Scooby Doo films. The formula is still in tact, but everything must happen at a very rapid pace, which actually turns out well since it captures the meat of the story without any of the fluff. It’s a little tougher to take a stab at who the culprit is though because sometimes you won’t see all of the suspects until it is almost too late. Even though the time varies a whole lot, I like to make my guess at the first commercial break and it turns out that I was right on the money for this one. It was a pretty proud moment in my rather impressive detective career.

So, the gang was having a good ole time as per usual when they find out that this town is having an issue with a Spooky Scarecrow. Legend states that this guy is no mere mortal and he actually survived being sliced by that fork-type weapon from the farms. As a result, Halloween is cancelled. The Mystery Gang is going to have to work quickly or else Halloween will never make a return and then they’ll have to go somewhere else for their candy.

There are a few suspects right off the bat. The Mayor is a little shady since he clearly needs more sleep to get rid of the dark rings under his eyes and the guy seems shady. There’s also the chief of police who is always ignored by the mayor so she may have an axe to grind about all of this. She is helping to block off the cornfield so the Mystery Gang can’t start sleuthing. That’s a little iffy eh? There’s also Billy Bob, or something like that. He’s always fairly cold to the heroes and only says “Yup” and “No” so maybe this guy has something to hide. Who do you think the culprit is?

As always, the animation is quite good for Scooby Doo. It’s not as if the company is hitting it out of the park or anything like that, but everything is smooth and appropriately detailed. It’s what I’d expect from Scooby Doo and it isn’t experimenting like some of the previous movies/specials. (Puppets…I don’t think so!) The soundtrack is also what you would expect at this point. It’s suitable for the scenes and that’s what I like to see.

The villain wasn’t quite as intense as some of the others, but the fact that he does have a pickax of sorts makes him a real threat. I would put him in my top 50 Scooby Doo villains….well, that’s not saying much. He was probably my least favorite from the 4 specials today, but at least he wasn’t a bad villain. Now that would have been sad! Meanwhile it was fun to see all of the corn snacks in the special. They’re definitely not very appetizing next to other tried and true classics like Pizza and burgers, but they will do.

On a final note for the analysis, it was good to see the Mystery Gang get some respect here. The police chief quickly realized that they were experts of sorts in the monster biz after they professionally handled the situation with a Net Launcher. That’s what I’ve come to expect from the gang and let’s face it…after about 30-50 years of catching ghosts from all around the world, their reputation should precede them at this point. Even in a small town like this one that doesn’t seem too heavy on computers, the legends of Scooby Doo and his friends should be quite well known.

Overall, This was a good Scooby Doo special. It played it close to the belt here as it is almost the definition of your average Scooby Doo adventure. It’s fun and goes by very quickly, but nothing really stood out. No worries, that will change for the other specials as they all typically have at least one gimmick that makes them fairly original. If you’re a Scooby Doo fan, then you’ll definitely enjoy this one. If you’ve never heard of Scooby Doo and have no idea what you’re about to get yourself into..you should still enjoy it as a fun little mystery. Although you won’t be able to appreciate just how good of a tradition this series is either.

Overall 7/10

Casablanca Review

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Does the poster spoil the ending? Let’s hope not, although this is a classic so you’ve probably seen it already. If not, then I’d recommend checking it out. It’s not an elite all star film like you may have heard, but it’s a good story. The romance is rather lackluster though and downright bad by the end. Press 1 if you feel bad for the Rebound Guy who shall never know his own fate. This film’s definitely been remembered for many generations and will always stay as a classic so let’s see what the film theoretically did right and what it may have done wrong.

The film takes place during the time where Germany had occupied France. Rick has a little bar that’s going smoothly, but that’s when some Germans arrive looking for a resistance member. Rick has attained a pair of passports that can let the resistance member safely escape the country, but he doesn’t want to give them up because he now has the opportunity to destroy the woman who gave him the slip many years ago and crushed whatever romance they may have had back in the day. Rick never forgets a grudge, but will he ultimately decide to put his feelings to the side so that he can help stop the Nazi’s?

Rick really had a good thing going for him, but Laszlo and Ilsa’s appearance throws a curveball into his life. We rarely know when we are about to make a choice that will alter our life forever, but have to do the best that we can. Of course, it’s hard to just help an old enemy so easily and Rick is naturally upset. Worse, the Nazi’s now know that he has a history of helping the resistance stop the oppressors so he has come under great scrutiny. He’s on friendly terms with the chief of France’s police, but that might not help him all that much if the Germans really do start to go after him.

Rick’s a classic retro hero who’s very confident and can casually respond to the enemy banter. He’s not a bad main character and is far more likable than the leads of the last few films that I watched. He does make things very dangerous for the other characters for most of the film, but ultimately makes the right choices….for the most part. He helps some people flee the country and does help the resistance. The one wrong choice that he made was having a one night affair with Ilsa even though he knew that she was married.

I’m referring to near the end as he didn’t know that she was married the first time. That one was on her, but he certainly could have simply denied her the last time, but chose to accept her offering before sending her on her way. It was not a good move and Rick proved that he was not as heroic as he could have been. The wise thing to do there would have been to have just given them the passports if he had been planning to do so or to have gone along the plan without that move. It also makes things sad for Laszlo.

Unlike some of the other guys, Laszlo may realize that he is the rebound guy, but it’s definitely not a whole lot better for him. Knowing that you are the rebound guy must be incredibly hard to bear and honestly it can make you doubt everything. It’s one of the reasons why you should be incredibly careful when choosing your partner. It’s so that you can actually trust her when you have to be gone for a few months. In the beginning, Ilsa thought that Laszlo was dead of course so it’s not as bad. Of course, what you could say is bad is the fact that she got over it so quickly and moved on to another man. Why are the characters all so easy? It would probably be even worse if this was a modern film. At least the romance is handled tastefully for the most part….the last romance scene notwithstanding.

It’s a fairly pleasant film and one of those well written films that you don’t really see nowadays. The characters all come across as intelligent and even when they’re threatening each other it’s always very civil. Naturally it can be a little long for some as not everyone will enjoy the long conversations, but given the positive reviews around the board, I think it’s safe to say that most people enjoyed the interactions. They’re definitely solid and the film never dragged on for me because it was all very interesting. It would have been great to have had a quick epilogue where some Americans came in to take down all of the Nazi’s, but maybe that would have taken too long.

The film did a good job of throwing in some context and backdrop for the characters. Even though the film had to get into the plot right away, you got a good sense of the town and the people there. They may have been beaten, but they weren’t broken and they were still fighting hard to stay upbeat. The scene where they play their anthem over the German one was definitely a good one and watching everyone talk about how they wanted to leave was a nice subtle way of showing the condition over in Paris. We never actually saw that the conditions were poor, but still knew it through this, which is a solid way of expanding the universe. Subtlety can definitely be a great tactic.

Overall, Casablanca is a good film that lives up to its reputation as a solid romance. It’s not world shattering, but I’m not a big romance fan so it equals out. Aside from the needless romance scene between Ilsa and Rick (A romance that I definitely don’t think is award worthy) the film really didn’t have any flaws and made for an enjoyable experience. It’s a fairly calm film with very few action scenes, but it’s meant to be more about the choice that Rick has to make. Will he make the right one or won’t he? I’m glad to say that he did make the right choice and turned out to be a decent person. There was even some room for a sequel where we could see Rick in the resistance. That would be neat although it could be sad if handled wrong. If you’re looking for a pleasant romance then this is a good film to check out.

Overall 7/10

Sunset Boulevard Review

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It’s time to review a very retro film. It’s one of those films that may have a lot of good reviews, but when you really take a look at it…it doesn’t hold up very well. The characters are all very unlikable and the romance is one of the worst that you’ll have seen in years. It almost makes Twilight’s look good, but that’s just about impossible anyway. The sun did set on this film, but I don’t think that was the film’s intention!

Joe’s a film writer who’s been through some tough times. None of his scripts are any good anymore and he gets serious writer’s block at times. He’s also on the run from the proper (car) authorities since he couldn’t pay the bill on his car. Things are really heating up and he even considers moving across the state, but that’s when he runs into the retired actress, Norma Desmond. She has a lot of money and is willing to help him become rich if he can help her finish her script so that it becomes a real movie. Joe can never pass up quick check, but is this really the right move?

No, I can say that it isn’t the right move, but Joe’s not a good character so I wasn’t expecting him to make the right one anyway. It wouldn’t have been in character now would it? The romance is poorly done here on all levels, but first let’s start with the subplot that comes out of nowhere. The person (Betty) who read Joe’s scripts decides that he has a lot of talent and wants him to help her write a script. He declines, but eventually decides to do it. The problem with this plot is that Betty is engaged, but she immediately falls for Joe anyway, nearly getting together with him in the bathroom of a party after only seeing the guy for about 2 minutes. Keep in mind that she’s already engaged. Once her fiance heads over to another state for some kind of project, she quickly tries to make her move and Joe is naturally happy about this. The problem is that he’s playing the field with two people at once.

So, Joe decides to break it off with both. Before we say how, let’s go to the main plot. Norma Desmond is a lot older than Joe of course, but that doesn’t stop her from flirting with him and since Joe knows that she’s the source of his weekly pay check, he obliges her. He continues to let this relationship happen and even allows her to believe the deception that she may make a comeback as an actress. That’s why we invented the concept of tough love as these passive lies will definitely hurt a person in the long run. Naturally, this isn’t a very healthy relationship and Norma has divorced 3 husbands in the past so that should have been a good hint to Joe.

Anyway, his decision to break off his relationships to both Norma and Betty involves calling Betty over to see his mansion and then dumping her…after having her come over all the way from her house in the dead of night. Couldn’t have broken it off over the phone right? He also did it in a passive aggressive way so as to not formally break it off, but just antagonize her until she got the message. Then, after giving Norma hope that she was the only one for him, he quickly told her that he was leaving as well and after making sure that she had a gun at the ready, he walked away. Naturally he got shot in the back and quickly sprinted over to the pool so that he could have a flashy death, but it was a predictable end to the film.

After all, the movie made the interesting choice of showing him dead in the very first scene as he tells us a flashback. It’s not explicitly stated that it was him of course, but it’s rather obvious since there were no other characters who looked like him in the film. It was a very small cast after all so there was never a doubt as to how the film would end. The only question would be “Why was he shot?” Well, now we know the answer. The guy wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen and you can only antagonize people for so long before one of them turns out to be a killer. At least the finance guys finally got their car back from him.

The cops show up at the end to wrap everyone up, but they’re not as tough as the cops from nowadays. They allow Norma to slowly walk down the steps and act as if she is still in a movie instead of quickly throwing her in the cop car and getting on with it. The reporters are always glad to have an extended scene like this of course, but they certainly have her a lot of leeway. Considering that she just killed a man, you’d expect a little more intensity from the cops right?

There’s not much to really like about the film. As I’ve already shown, Joe’s a terrible main character. He has no heroic qualities about him. The only part of his personality that is decent is the fact that he gets a lot of burns and insults the entire time as he pokes fun at everyone, but it’s always just talk. He talks about how he should leave Norma and yet he doesn’t make a move until the very end. He’s not actually brave enough or confident enough to make a move and the only times that he does try something are when they’re actions that he shouldn’t take. One such action is naturally trying to steal the girl of his best friend. That’s not a whole lot of loyalty on his part.

If he would focus more on his writing and less on all of the fluff that’s around him, he could have been a real character. As it stands, he’s not someone that you’ll want to be around and I can see why his scripts were no good. He doesn’t take them seriously enough. It’s a shame since the beginning of the film did show some promise and the overall picture could have been quite good. If the story was played seriously and Norma did not fall for Joe we could be talking about a completely different movie. Who knows, maybe this could have actually been a solid 7 instead of the finished product that we got in the end instead. Alas, there are no what ifs when it comes to film right?

Overall, There’s no shining sliver of hope to grab here as the film’s just one big mess that gets more and more entangled in its own plots. Now we’ll also know that the best friend was just the rebound guy even though he’ll never suspect it as his engaged partner will likely never mention these facts. It’s one of the tricky turns of romance and a lot of films actually don’t mind making the guy just the “rebound guy” anymore. Even the next film that I’m about the review used the same technique and it does make you wonder for the eventual husbands who have to put up with this role. You just have to wonder what they would think if they knew. They probably should have realized that if anyone is easy enough to fall for you at first sight, that they may have already done the same for others. Just think on that as you pass by this film at your local DVD store and instead stop at Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. No drama there, just hard hitting action!

Overall 1/10

The Last Witch Hunter Review

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It’s time for a Witch film! Witches aren’t explored quite as much as vampires and werewolves so a film about them always has the potential to be promising. Magic can be interesting after all, but can it really be handled right? I thought that the trailer really didn’t look that good and I wasn’t surprised by the fact that this film didn’t exactly break the box office. It’s not Jupiter Ascending levels of cringe, but I still wouldn’t call it a good film either.

A lot of films like to go with the tried and failed approach of opening in the olden days where everyone was still banging rocks together and attacking with spears. I’ve never liked this approach since the olden days are no fun to watch and may as well be forgotten at this point. We get to watch the final battle between the humans and the witches as Kaulder destroys the queen, but not before becoming immortal. Now he is forced to live on and destroy witches through the years. Gee…was this a good move Witch Queen? It actually is thanks to a plot twist at the end so the move was quite impressive. Still, the witches as a whole are probably disappointed with this development.

Skip to the present, Kaulder is now a man who has lost his morals and likes to have one time flings for the lolz. It’s quite disappointing as he could have been a likable character, but we’re quickly reminded not to get attached to any of the players here. His old partner decides to retire so that Kaulder can work with a new cadet. Kaulder is saddened, but he’ll move on as he always does. Unfortunately, his partner is attacked and roughed up as well as cursed. Kaulder will have to find the person who placed the spell on his partner in order to free him, but finding the main villain will be tough.

Realizing that he needs to find a secret in his past, Kaulder seeks the help of a young witch (Who can’t fight) named Chloe. Chloe can walk in dreams and help you relive the past so she is helpful, but as per the curse of being next to the main character, her bar is destroyed and her best friend as well. Now she really has no choice, but to help Kaulder so that she can avenge her pal. The two of them may be outnumbered and these villains may be too powerful, but Kaulder’s immortal so what’s the worst that can happen?

As you can tell, I don’t care for Kaulder. Chloe’s the main heroine and gets a rather large role. She definitely seems like an unlikable character at first, but thankfully gets better as the film goes on and even gets away from the trope of falling for the main lead. The film did good there and I’ll give it some props, but now we need Chloe to get some offensive abilities. Let’s face it, she only won her main battle because her opponent was asleep. Had he been awake, she still has no spells to fight the other witches with. Walking in dreams is cool, but it’ll rarely be useful in a fight.

The ending of the film leaves room for the sequel since the Witch Queen is not altogether vanquished. Spoiler for the ending folks so tread carefully. The Witch Queen essentially tied her life force to Kaulder’s so if Kaulder were to die, then she would as well. As long as Kaulder lives, the Witch Queen cannot be destroyed either. For years they simply had her locked away and that’s what they plan to do again, but the threat of her return will always be around. Of course, it’s not as if Kaulder can just destroy himself in good conscience. For starters, destroying yourself is a no no and secondly, he’s the only Witch Hunter left on he planet. If he were to be gone, the war between witches and humans would commence once again. Especially considering the fact that the council of humans was wrecked so easily. There is no real human defense against the witches at the moment.

It’s an interesting world that Kaulder lives on though as magic is used very regularly by the witches in all forms of occupations, but the humans don’t suspect a thing. We even learn that they are eating worms instead of ice cream as magical powers simply shapeshift them. The whole situation is really bad for the mere mortals and I’d like to see them rise up to stop this. They just have to stay civilized about the whole thing.

Going back to the climax for a sec, sadly there is a lot of plot hax involved. During the fight, Kaulder had no immortality and was very weakened thanks to a last second betrayal while the Witch Queen was at her peak. She’s fast and has many abilities so this should be easy right? Well, she was so busy powering up that she didn’t notice Kaulder pick up the glowing sword and hurl it straight at her. She was also too busy to think of dodging and it made for a very anticlimactic finish. That’s why you should always be careful about making the villains so much stronger than the heroes.

Even when Kaulder was strong, the villains would keep messing with his mind since he is very weak against telepathic blasts. It was embarrassing when he lost the second time since it was pretty personal by that point. They never explain why the guy that he was fighting looked very similar to how Kaulder was back in the Pre Historic days. Perhaps it was just coincidence I suppose.

The action scenes were mainly 50/50. I didn’t care for the intro battles as the old people fought with flame swords and realized how futile the whole attempt was as they got taken down one by one. They eventually won thanks to some convenient plot hax, but it was a rather dull fight scene and was mostly just about how weak they all were. In the present, the fights were more entertaining when they actually occurred. A lot of the “fights” ended up being one hit KOs like Kaulder against the big Witch Guardian. The Witch Queen had a good fight with him until that last moment so that would be a highlight.

Part of the problem is that grass powers are never that entertaining and another part is simply that the Witch Queen and her minions are so ugly that it takes away from the battle scenes. The Queen looks like an undead zombie or like a vampire rather than a witch. I want my classic witch design with the crooked hat back! The film’s soundtrack is fairly unmemorable although I remember is being fairly decent. It’s just that the tunes won’t stick with you once they’re over and done with.

Overall, The Last Witch Hunter is a fairly dreary film that showed some promise, but couldn’t quite live up to it. The Airplane scene where Kaulder disabled the magical entanglement for example was a good scene. I wouldn’t mind seeing him stop similar threats as he went around the world. The daytime rarely appears or even has time for it since night always falls, but the action scenes don’t take advantage of the night. Above all, it’s just not a very fun film and I would have liked to have had a better villain. Better heroes would help too and considering that this is an action film with a lot of magical elements, the witches didn’t use any real impressive spells the whole time. I wanted some neat elemental spells and some great visuals. Looks like I’ll have to wait for Dr. Strange to get those. If you’re not very particular about your fights and just want a run of the mill action film then this one’s for you. If you want an action film with a purpose, watch Tron Legacy! That film has great visuals and great action scenes!

Overall 4/10

Labyrinth Review

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I saw Labyrinth a while back and it’s one of those classic 80’s-90’s films that they just don’t make anymore. I definitely hadn’t heard of it until about 5 minutes before I started the film so it’s always interesting to delve into the unknown realms. We get some catchy songs and the overall soundtrack is quite good. It’s certainly heavily inspired by Alice in Wonderland, but instead of a Card Queen, we’ve got a reality warping trickster! He’s no Cheshire Cat though!

Sarah has always loved fairy tales. She often imagined herself being the heroine who would defeat the Goblin King, but a sudden rain shower completely destroyed her ambitions. Her parents decide to have a nice dinner outside so they leave Sarah to babysit her baby brother. Unfortunately, the two don’t get along very well so Sarah quickly makes a contract with the Goblin King to spirit the baby away. The plan works and the baby is gone, but Sarah quickly realizes that her situation won’t be very good if the parents discover this predicament. She must now venture into the Goblin Kingdom, destroy the kind, and save her brother. Hopefully she brought a weapon along!

Luckily, the Goblin King does have a sense of humor and doesn’t mind making the game a little fair. (As far as Sarah knows anyway) He teleports her to the kingdom so that she has a fighting chance, but Sarah must get through a long maze before sunset to rescue the baby or he will turn into a goblin. The maze is rigged with invisible exits and a lot of turns so she will have to rely on the locals to help her. However, are they really here to help or is it all just another trick? It’s time for her to find out!

You can probably already guess this, but Sarah’s not a very likable character. Babysitting is so fun when it’s just a baby since you can turn on some video games and just play for a few hours. Sarah just can’t take this level of stress though and panics just from a little crying. Sure, she saves the baby in the end, but her character just isn’t likable throughout the film and the development wasn’t enough to save her. Her dog is the true hero here as he outruns the villains and constantly gets in the way of the villains. He’d do Scooby Doo proud with his various antics! The villains know better than to mess with him.

Hoggle is Sarah’s main ally during the film. He likes to play both sides as he pretends to be working with Sarah while still in the employ of the Goblin King and vice versa. In the end, he decides to throw in his lot with Sarah and they become friends, but I can’t say that Hoggle was very good either. He’s more annoying than anything and I rarely like Goblins although maybe that can change once we get a planet busting one. Hoggle certainly betrays the whole cast a lot, but at least he’s helpful at times.

The Goblin King was probably my favorite character of the film. Only probably since the dog naturally wins if he counts. The Goblin King doesn’t play fair and he has the massive advantage against the other characters since his abilities are nigh infinite. Still, he knows how to have a good time and he even has a few dance scenes and sings a song to the baby. He throws the baby up and down a few times, but always takes care to not let him get even slightly injured. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy and just wanted more goblins to play with. The only character that he was typically antagonistic towards was Hoggle and Sarah towards the end. He’s still a villain of course, but a likable one. I also liked the design as it was quite retro.

Of course, plot hax had to ensue in the climax. After all, how could an all powerful villain lose to a teenage girl with no combat experience without some form of plot hax? Let’s just say that he underestimates her speed and determination. Yeah…that’s really all I can say on how he’s defeated. There are hundreds of ways that he could have won, but maybe he just wanted the whole game to be over at that point. Most of his henchmen had started to like the baby and Sarah anyway so he may have known that it was all a losing battle by then.

For a while though, the whole world was against Sarah. It was almost sad to see all of her tricks backfire since some were clever. One trick that Sarah had was to draw on the ground so that she could backtrack effectively, but the tiles are actually roofs for some goblins so they were promptly flipped over. Sarah tried to solve the maze by going in a straight line, but due to a reality limbo spell, the line kept moving in time along with her speed so it essentially resulted in her not going anywhere. Nothing worked because nothing could work. How do you defeat a living maze? Even with Hoggle’s help they were nearly crushed by giant boulders or simply overpowered. Along the way we met the classic 2 heads, one who can tell the truth and one who can’t. Behind one of them is a door that leads to a pit and one that leads to the castle. Turns out…they were both leading to pits. That, or they simply lied about their roles in the first place or were just trolling her with false hints.

Unlike Alice in Wonderland though, I can’t say that I cared for most of the bit players. In Alice, we had the Cat, the classic Card Soldiers, and the Queen was pretty memorable. I never cared for the guys at the tea table, but that’s another story. Here, I didn’t care for the gimmicks of the minions. We had the guys whose heads would keep rolling off and that was…interesting I guess. I didn’t care for the actual designs, but they could be nice and creepy for younger viewers. They can fight, which is always a plus and get ready for cannons that fire more lethal objects than cannon balls.

It was a rough journey, but Sarah succeeded. For a while there, it looked like the whole thing was a dream based on the ending, but I like to think that it was real. The turning point was really just seeing all of the creatures suddenly appear and start dancing in the room. Sure, she could be completely delusional, but I like to think that these guys were on the level and the fact that it got a manga sequel should help this case. It would have been even better to have seen the parents stumble into the room though as they would have been pretty shocked. It was definitely a crazy sight for the average person after all.

As essentially mentioned earlier, the soundtrack is very good. We get a lot of good tunes and you can definitely dance to them as you wait for the plot to return. The Goblin King’s magic ball was also very fascinating as it would change density from scene to scene. It would bounce and then it would be glass. The latter was something that the Goblin King probably should have watched out for. We even got some action scenes like the Village fight, which was certainly intriguing.

Overall, The Labyrinth was an interesting film. It’s old and you can feel its age so that may turn some people off, but at the same time, it’s what creates that retro feel. Behind the scenes, you can also think of it as a classic story of going from having a normal life to stopping an army of powerful villains. Every good character has to go through that gauntlet at some point or another and in theory Sarah should have become a better character as a result. I’m sure that she would probably be more likable in a sequel film. The characters do hold the film back a bit, but it’s still an enjoyable film and I would recommend checking it out as I’m sure that most of you readers have not seen this one yet.

Overall 6/10

Sense and Sensibility Review

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It’s time for a romance drama. As you may have expected, this was a fairly terrible movie. It tries very hard to be the next Cinderella, but somewhere along the road it lost sight of what was happening and devolved into a train wreck much like the Street Fighter V release. If only this film could have been as emotional as ET!

The characters and their names do not really matter in this film so let’s get right to the plot. There are these two sisters and their mother who used to have a fairly nice life. One day, their benefactor died and his full inheritance went to someone who was unrelated to them. The dying man told this guy to make sure that the ladies were well provided for, but his wife quickly convinced him to renege on his word. The guy agreed since deep down he does love money and the girls were quickly thrown into a life of hardship and passive aggressive dealings. If they had been tough enough to actually stand up for themselves in this civilized time, then maybe things could have been a little different.

Either way, this was the only part of the film where you could feel bad for the main heroines. It’s a plot that I never like to see, but at least the plight was very real. It’s sad to go from owning your own house to essentially being the maidservants there. The film lost me when the heroines left to live with a nice old couple though. Suddenly, their situation wasn’t half bad and the place was actually pleasant. They no longer needed to worry about their situation financially and the upbeat atmosphere of the mansion would do wonders for the cast…or would it? Unfortunately, not everyone is very grateful.

The heroines act as if the old couple are a nuisance (Aside from the youngest sister) and they apparently prefer the quietness of being servants than the loud rumblings of the current dinner situation. That’s where I lost my sympathy, how could they ever miss the old days when the situation is so good over here. Sure, the old couple gossips a lot and they’re always talking, but it certainly beats the alternatives. The problem is that the main characters are not likable. None of the characters are really likable although the old couple would be the best characters by default I suppose. It’s still not saying a whole lot.

This whole film revolves around the question, “Do you care if you’re simply the rebound guy?” None of the characters do and they’re personally satisfied with it, but would you be? Just think about it for a moment, the person that you like has repeatedly turned you down and been very rude to you your whole life since you’re just an annoyance to the person. An obstacle that should be gone. One day, the friend’s love interest reveals that he’s just been using her for the thrills and runs off so she says that she’ll go with you now. The main guy in the film basically says “Great, I’ll grab my stuff!” as they’re married the very next day. (Something like that) It felt rather odd, but also sad because it’s actually realistic.

People are so easy nowadays that they’re desperate for love. This scenario is actually not all that uncommon and just makes the characters look even worse. Essentially, the same thing happens with another pair, only they broke up like 3 times first and again, the girl was the second choice. The guy had made a promise to someone else that he would marry her about a decade earlier so when he remembered the promise, it was game over for the main character. The lady called it off though so the guy quickly went back to the main charcater, but he had already dumped her twice and ignored her several times at a party, pretending not to know her. He even sent her a letter saying that he had never loved her. Erm….is this what true romance is?

One of the characters admitted that classics like Romeo and Juliet had “pathetic endings” which I did have to agree with. I don’t use such strong words, but you have to admit that those romances are rather terrible and know nothing about true love. If you have fallen in love at first sight, then you know that it is fake love. The problem is that most people will never realize this so we’ll get films like this one.

No worries guys, this film’s still not getting a 0 or anything like that. I’m not even giving it a 1 since it’s not horrendous. It’s terrible and boring, but doesn’t cross the line into Sucker Punch territory. My main complaint with the film aside from the characters is the fact that it is very boring. The film drags on and on and the plot doesn’t make a lot of sense. As I explained, the characters should have been happy with the old couple, but for the sake of drama, they quickly revolted. That’s not cool. The romance was handled very poorly as well, but you probably saw that coming didn’t you? I have been bashing it for quite a few paragraphs at this point….

Who knows, maybe zombies would have spiced things up a bit. I can definitely say that the MVPs of this film were definitely the dogs that had been running around the place. They were neat and it makes me wish that they could have been around a little more to mock the main characters and their unwise choices. I also have to say that tripping in a grassy plain is quite lazy and does make it seem as if you’re a very weak character. We wouldn’t want people to get the right impression now would we?

Overall, This is a very boring film and one that you should not bother to watch. It doesn’t help that this is set in the olden times where everything looked dreary and dull. How I miss my modernized glass buildings and video games at every twist and turn. There’s no real language, which is one of the good things about having an old film, but with a large array of terrible characters at every turn, it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference. If you want to watch an emotional movie, check out Peanuts instead. At least that one has Snoopy and it’s said that he can hold an entire film all on his own. Now that’s what I call talent!

Overall 2/10

Digimon Adventure Our War Game Review

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It’s time for another Digimon review! This film’s definitely a classic and I’ve probably seen it 10 times or more at this point. It’s certainly the film that I think of whenever I see Digimon and now I can say that I’ve seen it dubbed and subbed. Naturally, the dubbed version wins out, but both versions are good in their own rights. Diaboromon will always be remembered as one of the best villains in the franchise. (Also due to Rumble Arena 2)

Tai and friends haven’t really kept in touch lately, but the DigiDestined are forced to join up again when a computer virus threatens to destroy the world. It’s hacked into electronics all around the country. Tai and Izzy were luckily already at home when this all happened, but Sora, Mimi, and Joe are currently busy. Matt and TK are ready to help though so the four of them will have to be enough to stop Diaboromon!

As per usual, the dub tries for a lighter, more intense angle on the film while the sub tries for a super serious and solemn approach. Typically, the music is what really illustrates this. Unfortunately, there are no good themes in the subbed version as a result. I wouldn’t call them bad per say, but none of them work as battle themes. Meanwhile, the dub keeps everything very fast paced, but you’ll also have to get ready for health drink jokes and the like.

I was never a fan of the animation for this film and it’s a step down from the Hurricane special for 02. The humans just look very, I guess you could say sludgey. It’s like what happens when you overly streamline a character. It can almost be disorienting since the character’s physical forms don’t seem to be too physical. It’s what I like to call the anti-theater effect. See, I’ve mentioned in the past how the theater effect can be awesome. It can make the colors really stand out and the fights awesome, but the opposite effect is what’s seen in many American films. Just think of any theater based American film, I’ve never seen one that actually had very good animation. They all try to be lifelike and as a result, they unfortunately succeed. Luckily, this doesn’t stop the fight scene in Our War Game from being good.

This was the debut of Omnimon and that was certainly a lot of fun to see. He was the series first Super Mega (Officially he’s just a Mega but when 2 Mega Digimon fuse I can’t consider the result to be just another Mega) and he certainly out ranked Diaboromon in power. We haven’t gotten to see Omnimon fight all that much in the franchise since then, but in Digimon Savers we saw that he’s still a powerhouse and I’m sure that in the new movie series he will get some big fights. Most of the other Digimon didn’t get to do a whole lot here, but it was a quick film so there wasn’t a lot of time to include them.

It also resulted in a pretty epic scene where Diaboromon attacked during the evolution sequence, which is probably a great speed feat since I assume that it’s almost instantaneous. I liked the subplot of how kids sending email to Izzy and friends was slowing down their Digimon. It makes sense since they had to rely on an old computer to power up their allies this time and rerouting their emails to Diaboromon’s account makes sense since that is actually a pretty easy feature to do nowadays. No plot hax there, which is how it should be.

As always, Tai’s a pretty hardcore lead character. He’s even able to infiltrate the Digital World like an old pro. I’ve never been much of an Izzy fan and I’m still not, but at least he booted up the computer for Tai to save the world with and showed up unlike some of the other DigiDestined. The other members really need some kind of communicator so they can always be in contact. The main member who looked bad was actually Kari since she picked up the phone, but didn’t want to leave the party. It was a case of international security so she absolutely should have showed up. Nothing should have prevented her from making it back even if she may not have been able to help all that much in the end.

One thing that I actually did miss in this film though was the fact that the humans and Digimon were separated by the screen. Fighting in the Digital World or in the Human world together as a team is always more exciting and especially when the human characters can fight as well like Marcus. In a way, it’s more like Megaman NT Warrior this way, but the separation prevented emotions from running quite as high and the stakes from getting a little more personal.

I like to think that this film is what got most of the characters so popular. Diaboromon and Omnimon certainly hit it off big after this and I’d still say that both of them are some of the most popular Digimon around. I’m hoping that Diaboromon appears at some point in the new films since that would be pretty neat. At the moment, Our War Game is definitely the best Digimon film at the block so it sets the standard for the others to follow and the line that they hope to surpass someday.

Overall, Our War Game is a solid Digimon film as always. It’s a little light on action, but it’s a short film overall so there’s not a whole lot that they really could have added on that note. I recommend either version, but the dub first and foremost. Maybe even watch both since the film has a decent amount of replay value. I’ve probably seen it over and over enough times to keep me satisfied so I don’t need to see it again for a long while, but if you’re looking for a film with monster fights, this is your best bet. Until then, I’ve got Tri to look forward too as well as the Diaboromon rematch film.

Overall 7/10

I Confess Review

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It’s time for a retro film from Alfred Hitchcock. The style is certainly a little different from his other films in the sense that you wouldn’t necessarily know that it was by him. Most of his films are more mystery centered whereas here you do know who the villain is the whole time and the tension is on whether Logan will crack under the pressure or not. It’s a fun film where you have to decide if he’s making the right move or not.

The premise is fairly simple. Logan is a Catholic priest and one day he finds out that the man whom he hired to work at the church murdered a man. Unfortunately, the murderer is the one who told him while in the confessional box. It is strictly forbidden for a priest to use any knowledge learned during this period so Logan must decline to help the police with the investigation when they ask him who the murderer is. Unfortunately, the evidence now makes it look like Logan is the murderer and he can barely provide a defense for himself. Is this the end of the line for him?

Keller is the actual murderer and he evidently doesn’t care if anyone likes him by the end. He’s always trying to make Logan look bad and also doesn’t seem very remorseful for murdering someone. He goes crazy by the end to conveniently help the police realize the truth, but the character isn’t ultimately all that important in the story. Logan can shut him down at any time. As mentioned earlier, it really comes down to whether or not he will abide by the code.

His faith is strong and he never ends up buckling and telling the police what he knows. He does a good job in his Catholic beliefs. I’m a Christian myself and luckily we have no such custom. I definitely don’t fault Logan for not talking since he did well according to his beliefs, but I felt like he could have handled the situation a little better. Aside from not wanting to talk about anything relating to the murder, he also didn’t want to talk about anything related to Ruth, which caused more issues. This meant that he did not even want to create an alibi for himself and effectively made himself look all the more guilty. Not to mention that he tried to dodge the questions and sidetrack the arguments a lot of the time.

Even if he didn’t outright say that Keller was the killer, Logan could have easily explained that he knew who the killer was, but couldn’t say because of the confessional rules. That would have at least given the police something to go with and I don’t believe that this is against the rules. Of course, it could come down to the fact that Logan may have thought of this as “cheating” the rules. It’s like a “lie of omission.” I still don’t believe in the concept, but many do consider it to be a form of lying and essentially cheating the concept of a lie. You’re telling a lie without actually saying anything. If Logan subscribed to that way of thinking, then maybe he felt that he couldn’t even admit that this had anything to do with a confessional. I personally disagree with his stance.

I do think that ommissions are not the same as lying. Take for example the classic example used for the lying debate. 2 Nazi’s walk into your apartment and you are hiding Christians in your attic so they say “Are you hiding Christians in the house?” You have quite a few options without actually lying and they all involve sort of skirting around the whole lying concept. One option is to respond via a technicality. Maybe your home is an apartment, a villa, or something that’s not technically a house. Then you can easily respond with a No and it’s not a lie. You could use an exclamation like “What” “How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” which is not actually lying, while still insinuating that you are saying no and then depending on what they follow up with, you can say no to the question without saying no to the original one. There are many such loopholes that you can exploit in many scenarios, but it does boil down to the fact of whether or not you consider this to be cheating the rule. By the way, I am of the side that believes lying is the better course of action than telling the truth in that case. You are committing a sin no doubt, but saying yes means that you will be killing the people in your house and taking away their choice of life. If it’s just your life on the line, then by all means it’s best to tell the truth and proudly accept your fate as a Christian. When other people are in danger, then self sacrifice is the concept that I subscribe too (Whether or not you have the courage to back up your tough words is another story though) and you are willingly sinning, but I believe that it is different from simply sinning for personal gain. You will have to answer for each and every sin, but I believe that the lives you saved and your willingness to repent and move on from the situation is counted as well.

Back to the film, if Logan believes that admitting to the confessional being the issue of why he can’t talk to be a loophole of the Catholic rule, then he naturally cannot even say this since it would go against his beliefs. It all depends on his feelings on the subject. Either way, he was definitely put in a tough spot, but Logan was a good character. I got worried when he was stranded with Ruth for a night, but he did a good job and handled the situation appropriately. Logan’s a solid lead character and while his actions were frustrating, he did the best that he could.

Most of the other characters were pretty annoying or unlikable. The only other really good character would be the detective. He did a good job of grabbing the facts and showing the other characters who was really in charge of the situation. You could almost root for the guy if you didn’t know that he was already on the wrong side. He meant well and that definitely counts for something. The Prosecutor was also decent and he knew how to have a good time. He would have won the cup game if not for the phone.

Naturally, Keller’s not a likable villain. He comes across as rather petty. His wife was better even if she acted a little too late considering that Keller never seemed like the most respectable guy out there. The other priests didn’t help Logan out all that much, but they were likely praying for him. They were just in a tough spot since it was hard to help him and they definitely understood his plight by the end of the whole ordeal. I did like the priest who had the bike with him, that was a fun gimmick to have.

Meanwhile, Ruth was surprisingly very antagonistic for most of the film. Her treatment of her husband was very uncalled for and she could never rebound from that. She married him for no real reason since she claims to have never loved him and immediately tried going back to Logan only to find out that he had put up the friend zone already. Sometimes, the friend zone card can be quite effective and it’s always great to see it played during a film. It’s one of the ultimate moves to pull in real life as well.

Overall, I Confess was a solid film. The mystery was already known, which always forces a different approach for a mystery. The courtroom drama was intense as always, although without a real defense, it was more one sided than I would have liked. I certainly recommend this film if you’re looking for a classic tale of whether the world can crush you enough to make you relinquish your beliefs or if you can find a way to persevere. It’s a good adventure with a well thought out plot. I don’t remember all that much plot hax at the moment, but I’m sure that I could think of some if I focused!

Overall 7/10