Who Done It Review

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Chick and Mervin started this film out as two soda jerks, but end up as national heroes. The Abbott and Costello films have always been a blast to watch. If you’re not a fan of slapstick humor, then this duo will likely be the ones to convince you otherwise. Their humor is typically funny and you don’t see any of the unfortunate jokes that typically hamper comedy films. At a laugh per minute, Abbott and Costello continue to take names as I watch more and more of their films.

Who Done It is a murder mystery so it is right up this duo’s ally. They must figure out who murdered someone using a radio script example. To do this, they decide to pose as detectives, but this gets them in trouble with the law when the real cops/detectives show up. Chick and Mervin will have to play their cards carefully if they want to get out of here in one piece. Especially considering that they antagonize everyone that they meet. They are being hunted by the cops and the murderer so Chick and Mervin may have to put their running skills to the test!

The film plays out exactly as you would expect it too based on the premise. That’s not a bad thing though because a predictable format can be quite good as long as the writing is on point and that is exactly what happens here. The characters are all engaging and none of them lack development or are thrown in for no reason. Each character has a role to play and they all help to shape the film by the end. Mervin is the most extreme character in the film and you may feel bad for him at times or you may start to go to Chick’s side. Mervin’s antics almost defy logic as he doesn’t really seem to comprehend much of anything at times, but at least he knows to get out of danger. The SOS plan at the end was also fairly clever. The only subplot on his end that was not all that good was his fake romance with one of the other characters. Chick ordered him to do this to help cement their spot on the program, but it wasn’t really needed and Mervin certainly wasn’t convincing in the slightest.

Chick is actually pretty reasonable for the most part. Typically, I don’t care for the “Straight Man” of a joke (The guy who acts normal and always questions the crazy plans to represent “The general audience”) but Chick handles the role well as he continues to always get exasperated with Mervin. Somehow, he never expects Mervin to misunderstand the plan at hand. I can’t imagine why though since that’s Mervin’s specialty. The water fountain scene is a good example of this as the two of them fiddle with the water for quite a while, only for both of them to get soaked anyway. So much for that plan eh?

A kid showed up during the early part of the movie and had a fairly good role. He managed to trick Mervin out of his tickets and also stole some money from him as a result. “Give me 2 dimes for a nickel” is a pretty good trick. I doubt it would work in real life, but you never know. If you say it quick enough and under the right circumstances, then maybe someone would fall for it. Certainly not 3 times in a row like Mervin did though. He even got off a fairly good insult to the head policeman as well before dashing off. He wasn’t seen again so I’m assuming that they caught him.

We even get a fight scene at the end this time as Chick and Mervin face off against the criminal mastermind. They’re fairly quick and are able to evade the gunshots for a while. After that, they manage to get the upper hand temporarily with Mervin’s fake gun before going back to a close quarters brawl. The light bulbs are always a good defense when someone has a gun as this film illustrates so I’d recommend reaching for some if you’re ever in a jam like that.

The other characters are around as well for their facial remarks and have roles to play. If not for the new writer on board and the producer, the cops would have taken Chick and Mervin away ASAP. They also reminded the police that this wouldn’t look good on them which pressured the agents into going through with the plan. The new writer was probably a little too proud for his own good though. When he learns that he was hired by someone who was advised by an old friend of his, he immediately decided to dash off. (He ultimately stayed though) He should have just accepted the job, although this helped the main characters out quite a bit. Not to mention that it would put the station in a bit of a difficult situation. You almost felt bad for the old writer…he had his chance though.

One subplot during the film which temporarily becomes the main plot is that Mervin ends up winning 10000 dollars on the Wheel of Fortune. The problem is that the receiver refuses to answer his calls because she doesn’t like him. Maybe he irritated her in the past or something. This means that Mervin will have to head back to the station to collect his paycheck, but the cops are there waiting for him. Is the money worth it? Of course it is! I was actually shocked that it wasn’t ripped in the end. Unless I missed something, Mervin actually got to keep the money. Only half of it since Chick claimed the other half for being a good partner, but that’s quite the happy ending for him.

Overall, There are a lot of fun shenanigans that occur during the film. Mervin finally got to handcuff one of the officers that was chasing him and it may have been the first time that he actually outsmarted someone. The Scooby Doo esque chase scenes were cool and they even had the classic Audio gunshot distraction to keep the pursuers in check. It’s a very funny film and these two actors make for one of the best comedy duos in cinema. It’s possible that it could get repetitive if you saw too many of these films at once, but seeing as how I just see one every once in a while, it has worked every time. I highly recommend this film and it’s one of the best comedies that you will ever see. Aside from the romance and it wasn’t all that bad as its screen time was extremely limited, there really isn’t anything in the way of negatives here. The film’s plot was essentially handled to perfection and takes the comedy genre to the top. It’s possible that this is the height of what a comedy film can do, but we’ll see if one manages to crack a 9 someday. A pure comedy by the way, so no other tricky genres like Action to help it out.

Overall 8/10

Snoopy Come Home Review

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It’s time for the next big Snoopy film, but unfortunately this one ends up being the weakest one of them all. It goes on for too long and generally isn’t all that much fun. It should have been since Snoopy was the main character, but you mostly just end up feeling bad for him. The film forgot to even have Snoopy just show up and start wrecking everyone like he usually would. It goes for a more emotional feel, but it ends up backfiring quite badly.

Snoopy gets a letter from his old owner. She is very sick and has been in the hospital for a few weeks. She believes that having Snoopy by her side will help her get better so he gathers his belongings and sets off. Charlie Brown starts to believe that Snoopy has left because he has grown tired of him. Charlie doesn’t really know how to make amends though so this plot doesn’t go anywhere. We have some cutaways where Charlie ponders the current situation, but that it all. It’s really just filler when you really think about it. Still, his plot is more enjoyable than Snoopy’s even if it’s not much.

The best part of the special is when Snoopy comes home temporarily to have a big send off from the gang. They get him a lot of bones to chew on and show how sad they would be without him. Charlie couldn’t even say anything since it was all just too emotional for him. Everyone did miss Snoopy after all and not having him around anymore would certainly be tough for them to get past. That’s why I would have liked to have had a subplot of them trying a little harder to find Snoopy. Meeting him at the hospital would have been a good move, but instead the friends just stay at home the whole time. Snoopy makes sure to pay them back for that by the end and then the status quo is preserved.

What hurts the Snoopy subplot is the fact that he has to go through many hardships. They are all comic relief of course, but it can get to be a bit much. One such plot like this is when Linus and Snoopy decide to start beating each other up over the blanket that Linus always carries around. It goes on for quite some time and the blows do look quite painful. The scene isn’t particularly flattering to either character. Another example is when Snoopy is adopted by a mean little girl who decides to keep on throwing Snoopy around and doesn’t know how to have a pet. Even when escaping, Snoopy drops the bird that he was helping and gives him a headache.

These plots weren’t funny in the slightest and just made the special a little more irritating. At least Snoopy’s old owner was reasonable. She didn’t try to guilt trip Snoopy quite as much as I had expected. Not knowing that her building didn’t allow dogs was a pretty big mistake though. That seems like something that she should have known beforehand. Still, it gave Snoopy a good “out” and he was able to return home. By now it’s possible that the letter he signed to the mayor will have taken effect so he can use the library and other services again. Hopefully that happens since we just saw him use the library in “It’s Magic Charlie Brown.” Seems odd that they would ban him after that. He was being loud, but the book was just that funny.

The animation is roughly the same as all of the TV specials. It looks fine and holds up well throughout the years. There isn’t much of a soundtrack that I can recall. There are a few songs that are used as narration though. For example, you never see the letter’s contents from the old owner, but the song narrates the letter to an extent with a Grinch sounding voice. The songs aren’t bad, but they’re not really my style either. At least it has some songs/tunes though so this special actually has a bit of a soundtrack.

This special really didn’t need to be over an hour though. It could have easily achieved this plot with a simple half n hour and I believe that it would have been better off if it had done this. Maybe the Peanuts isn’t really meant for full length films, although I certainly think it’s possible to have a good one. The first movie dragged on as well, but it was still fun. The next one just needs to make sure that it has a full plot, which doesn’t need to be artificially extended. If it does need to be extended, then it just shouldn’t do it with harsh trials for Snoopy.

Overall, Snoopy Come Home is a bit of a flop. Cut out the fight against Linus and Snoopy’s other misadventures and this movie would have been a lot better. It doesn’t mean that Snoopy should just vanish either. His fight against Lucy was handled fairly well and felt more like a real Peanuts adventure. The fight was decently long, but it wasn’t as exaggerated as Snoopy’s other battles. If you like the Peanuts a lot then this may be a good film to check out. If not, then I definitely recommend skipping out on this one and you should just watch one of the classics like the Christmas special or It’s Magic Charlie Brown as an example of a Snoopy centered special done right.

Overall 4/10

Someday You’ll Find Her Charlie Brown Review

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Time for another Charlie Brown special. Unfortunately, this one wasn’t quite as good as the others. It decides to go for a romance angle which isn’t necessarily bad, but it doesn’t work for this series all that well. Charlie Brown doesn’t look all that great again either and spends the entire special blushing. Poor kid, he simply got his hopes up too high!

We find out that Charlie has been falling in love with someone every week. He always tunes into a Football game just for the 2 second shot that shows a different person in the audience each week. This time he wants to find her so he enlists the help of Linus. Linus warns Charlie that this will be a difficult task, but ultimately decides to help. The two of them go on a long wild goose chase in hopes of finding her, but the path is filled with perils.

A tough cat attacks Charlie and Linus at one point. They tried to be brave about the situation, but the cat quickly chased them away. Even Snoopy lost round one against the foe, but he managed to make a comeback, which is what separates Snoopy from the average dog. He has guts and isn’t afraid to fight off any opponent who gets in his way. He probably should have won the first time though. Snoopy even managed to stop traffic which was a pretty hardcore moment. The cars better stop before his greatness!

There’s not much of a soundtrack and the visuals are the same as ever so we’ll bypass that section this time. I will say that the blush around Charlie the entire time was annoying though and Linus falling for the girl in the end was a little predictable. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to rub it in Charlie’s face the whole time though. Man, he simply wouldn’t stop as he kept reminding Charlie just how tricky of a situation this was. Linus was clearly having a blast while Charlie’s week probably got ruined as a result.

Still, Charlie probably should have been a little braver. This all happened because he sent Linus in to do all of the hard work. It makes sense that the girl wouldn’t give Charlie the time of day at that point. As a result, Charlie lost out on his milk and cookies. It’s hard to sympathize with Charlie here, but it is definitely a sad ending for him. Ah well, better luck next time Mr. Brown.

This special is easily one of the weakest ones though. The scenes tended to drag out quite a bit after a while and the romance didn’t really add anything to the story. It was just the same old story with each person that they came across. It might have been helpful if the rest of the gang had decided to come along for the ride as a class field trip. The more characters the better right? I do think that the supporting cast can help out quite a bit in a film like this one. I was glad to have a change of scenery though.

Overall, Someday You’ll Find Her Charlie Brown is probably the worst Charlie Brown TV special that I’ve seen. Not saying that it’s terrible or anything, but it’s not as entertaining as the average special and the romance really starts to bog it down after a while. At least Linus had a happy ending I suppose. More Snoopy scenes and a different plot would have done wonders for this special. After all, seeing Snoopy use his hand to hand skills to claim victory over the cat was pretty impressive. If you want to watch a Charlie Brown special, watch the Christmas one instead. It’s more fun and teaches you valuable lessons.

Overall 5/10

It’s Magic, Charlie Brown Review

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Time to look at the next Charlie Brown special. As the title suggests, this one heads into the realm of magic as Snoopy gains supernatural abilities. He was already a dog who could defy the natural order of things and physics, but now he can take it to the next level. He decides to put on a magic show, but in the process he turns Charlie Brown invisible. The kid’s in quite the predicament now and he’ll have to think of something very quickly. Luckily Charlie is among friends..right?

Charlie and Snoopy are really the only characters with big roles this time around. Lucy appears and Charlie quickly takes advantage of his new powers to mess with her and the Football. Lucy doesn’t like this, but she can’t figure out how to stop him so she gives Snoopy some more (violent) incentive to fix what he has done. The animators definitely had fun with Charlie’s facial expressions this time around. When he turns visible again, we see just how intensely Charlie is taking the situation. He looks rather deranged and sinister, but Lucy puts him back in his place. He temporarily got to have his fun though.

As for Snoopy, he takes everything in stride as expected. The fame of being a magician certainly got to his head, but once the show was over, he just forgot about the whole thing. It simply didn’t matter all that much to him anymore. It’s part of Snoopy’s charm. Everything is always over in a flash for him, but it also means that an enemy that he was scared of 5 minutes ago will turn the other in another 5 minutes. Snoopy’s a class act and he is easily the best character in the Peanuts franchise. What would we do without him?

That being said, the friends should definitely realize the dangers of being Snoopy’s volunteers. Their lives will always be put in jeopardy, or at least their appetites from being made very dizzy. I suppose that they handled it decently well though and at the very least they can’t doubt Snoopy’s ability anymore. I was glad that it turned out to be real by the end since I was a little worried for a second there. It was cool to just see him firing the lasers all over the place. Snoopy came a long way from his original skills.

There isn’t much in the way of songs here so the soundtrack is nonexistent. The visuals hold up as well as any other Peanuts special. It may not be anything super amazing, but they’ll do. I do like the art style here and prefer it to most Flash titles and the Lego artstyle. Modern day CGI probably takes the win, but CGI from this period would likely get crushed. Hand drawn is still the way to go and it always feels like a lot of effort was put into it.

If there is anything holding this special back a little, it’s the fact that it gets off to a bit of a silent start. It was cool to see Snoopy checking out a book with his library card, but the adventure didn’t really start until Charlie turned invisible. As a result, I’d say that “She Can Skate Charlie Brown” is a better special as it got right to the point. Still, this is one of the stronger Charlie Brown specials in the end.

Overall, It’s Magic Charlie Brown is a solid special. It may not have been quite as engaging as some of the others, but I do think that Charlie being turned invisible made for a good plot point. It’s always good to see something new in the Peanuts and this made for some original scenarios. Charlie deciding to have his vengeance after so long definitely shows that he has been taking the football gag rather personally all these years so he lets out a lot of steam there. It’s also why he ends up tripping yet again so he really got his just deserts there. I recommend this to all Peanuts fans and as always, it is quite short. It’s not as if you will lose a lot of time while watching this one. Finally, just imagine Snoopy shooting laser blasts. You don’t want to miss this!

Overall 7/10

She’s a Good Skate Charlie Brown Review

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It’s time for another Charlie Brown special. Surprisingly, Charlie doesn’t have much of a role this time, which is actually quite shocking. Patty is the main character this time around as she enters an ice skating competition so she has to train quite a lot if she wants to take home the gold trophy. With Snoopy as her coach this goal is definitely possible, but it will still be quite difficult. Will she fall to the Charlie Brown curse or will she be able to win the whole thing?

It’s definitely unique to have Patty have such a starring role. She is a decently good character, but I have to say that Charlie Brown has more charisma as the title character. One scene where Patty shows why she is a good main character is when she is attacked by around 10 bullies. Charlie Brown would have ran away, but Patty eagerly fights them off along with her coach, Snoopy. Snoopy then clears the field so the 10 kids are shoveled away. It’s why you never want to mess with Snoopy when he is coaching someone. It was probably the highlight of the special.

As with the last Peanuts special that I reviewed, this one is essentially a sports themed one. Ice Skating can be a sport after all and Snoopy teaches Patty all that she knows. Unfortunately, Snoopy was probably burdened with too many tasks this time. He makes costumes, handled the music, handles the field, and is Patty’s coach. This gives her an edge on the other contestants, but Snoopy mishandles the music so Patty has to wing it with the whistling of a bird nearby. The other contestants weren’t bad for their ages, but they simply didn’t put in the same amount of practice that Patty did. She got up at 4:30 after all and while her homework may have taken a hit as a result, at least she got to have her 5 minutes of fame and a trophy that will last a lifetime.

If I had one complaint with Patty, it would be that she is rather ungrateful to Marcie. Patty asked Marcie to make her a costume out of the blue so Marcie tried her best, but the end result wasn’t so good. Still, the thought is what counts, but Marcie threw in some insults right off the bat. It was a bit harsh considering the situation. Ah well, not all of the characters can be as awesome as Snoopy right? Charlie Brown and the others only get a line or two and typically only try to discourage Patty from afar. These friends don’t have a lot of confidence in her.

The animation is fairly standard for Peanuts. If you’re a fan of this more abstract retro animation style, then you’ll like it. Keep in mind that these specials did come out quite a while ago. The songs used for the skating scenes are all classics that have aged well to this day. They are all soothing and fitting for a nice game of Ice Skating although I wouldn’t want to see the themes pop up in an action film. Some music are simply more suitable for one genre than another one, although battle music is pretty much always applicable.

Finally, it’s nice to have a happy ending for a change. Most Charlie Brown specials have rather sad endings to remind you that life isn’t easy. That’s fine for most of them, but once in a while the characters should have a victory right? This is that moment and maybe it will just be a running gag that the only films to have happy endings will be the ones where Charlie Brown isn’t the main character. That would be rather sad, but also an interesting gimmick.

Overall, She’s a Good Skate Charlie Brown was a solid special. It felt more to the point than some of the others and there wasn’t really any filler here. The special didn’t try to buy any time and just launched right into the plot. I feel like some Charlie Brown specials have a hard time cutting out the padding so this was nice to see. I’m always up for a snow time adventure as well since the scenery is quite sharp. If you want to see a charming little adventure than this special is right up your alley. It’s also short so it is not as if you would lose a lot of time by watching it. It’s over in a flash.

Overall 7/10

X-Men Apocalypse Review

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Given the track record of this series, I was not surprised to see it fall below expectations once again. Granted, I even tried to limit my hopes despite the trailers being rather great, but it wasn’t to be. Singer simply needs to retire from this series so we can get someone else in charge. All the pieces were in place for a solid movie experience, but the film really ends up falling flat on just about every angle. What should have been a fun action packed movie ends up being a rather lackluster experience.

Apocalypse has revived himself after a long slumber and he intends to destroy the majority of the humans so that the rest can worship him and his mutant empire. To do this, he recruits Psylocke, Angel, Storm, and Magneto as his four horsemen. Finally he kidnaps Professor Xavier and intends to use him as his final vessel so his telepathic abilities will allow him to rule for a very long time. Can the X-Men, led by Mystique, stop this villain? That’s essentially the premise of this film although it takes a very long time for this plot to actually start up.

There are numerous negatives with this film so it’s hard to know where to even start with the review. I just got back from seeing it as of the first half of this review so it may seem a little “all over the place” but I trust that you will be able to keep up. For starters, this film is very light on action. That was a complaint that I had with Days of Future Past and unfortunately it has reared its head once more. The first real fight scene isn’t until near the end of the film as the Horsemen fight the X-Men. Before that we have a brief scuffle with Angel and Nightcrawler although it isn’t really a fight as they spend the entire segment running around a lot. The guest star (Who’s in the trailer, but in case you haven’t seen it yet I’ll keep the individual unidentified) destroys a bunch of guys, but it can’t be called a fight.
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Once we do get to the fights, they barely even count. Psylocke vs Beast is very short at around a minute or less and while it could have been good, it is over too fast. Not to mention that Beast shouldn’t have stood a chance at winning that round. Storm vs Cyclops was also disappointing as it was incredibly short as well and Cyclops just did a lot of running as well. Apocalypse vs Everyone wasn’t much of a fight either although at least it wasn’t over in the blink of an eye. Quicksilver’s speed barrage against him was cool and the visuals around Apocalypse’s energy blast were solid. Unfortunately, the visuals were really all there was too it since Apocalypse just kept on walking, but not actually fighting back which was rather odd.

For the entire film, the X-Men fought as a bunch of individuals rather than as a team. When Apocalypse was breaking Quicksilver’s bones or choking Mystique, nobody came to their aid. I had expected Magneto to jump in by that point, but he waits way too long for it to be effective. It was rather similar to Vegeta in Resurrection F. Some X-Men members talked about going over to help, but didn’t reach a decision for quite some time. Professor Xavier finally had an idea at one point, but it took him a while and even then it only bought him a little time. It was another cool scene, but one that also didn’t help him all that much in the camaraderie department. Storm’s big moment happened too late as well.

See, there’s definitely a trend there as well as a half dozen missed opportunities. Every time that a cool scene should have occurred, it didn’t. 5 minutes later the scene would happen, but by then it simply didn’t make sense anymore. That’s the big problem with this film. Every time something cool is supposed to happen, it simply doesn’t. Granted, there was a lot of applause and laughter from the audience throughout, but every time I would simply be groaning on the inside.

All of the humor scenes that were supposed to be funny simply weren’t. Professor Xavier flirting with Moira? Those scenes were terrible. Beast and Mystique scenes? Equally terrible. Also, while we’re on the subject, Xavier erasing Moira’s memories without her consent and basically doing it for himself was also rather bad. The whole point of being a telepath is that you’re supposed to respect boundaries. Xavier showed none of that. Plus, what’s the point of being such a famed telepath when everyone can mentally overpower you? Jean Grey surpasses him very early on in the film and Apocalypse easily defeats him mentally as well. Xavier looks horrible in this adventure and his fans certainly won’t be thrilled.

All right, let’s take a break from the negatives for a second. The soundtrack was very good. The theme that plays during Quicksilver’s speed montage is quite great and the rest of the themes are rather epic as well. The visuals can be fun as well like when Apocalypse’s tomb starts to light up. It was handled well and had an epic flair to it. They definitely should have kept Apocalypse’s original robotic voice though, it was a lot more intimidating. I know that his appearance got a lot of controversy at first, but it’s fine for the most part. Due to the fact that he has to appear blue, there was no way to keep him from looking like a Power Rangers villain. They certainly could have done a better job with his armor though. It looks rather low budget and making it more metallic and epic would have done him wonders. The 90’s animated show did a great job on that front. His followers mostly all have generic metal suits although Psylocke’s is straight from the comics so hers stands out. It’s definitely not a practical combat costume compared to the rest, but it’s good to have some more comic accurate costumes out there. Once again, the X-Men don’t get any of that.

Another annoying thing about the film is its insistence on using the f word once for each film. It’s very forced and something that really has no point being in the film. There is language in other scenes as well so it’s not even just for that one moment. It simply decides to jump to the next level in that scene. It’s supposed to be funny and the whole audience roared which is just a sign of how our culture has deteriorated so rapidly. It’s come to the point where you often hear the f word in daily life and some people use it casually in conversation, often quite frequently. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before it starts popping up in films more regularly, but hopefully this isn’t the case. It can really take the energy out of a scene.

As briefly mentioned before, Quicksilver’s original speed scene is great and it’s easily the best part of the film. Unfortunately, it also highlights some big plot holes for the rest of it. Specifically, Quicksilver was made to be way too fast in that scene. Considering how many actions he undertakes in the span of 1-3 seconds, there’s no way that he couldn’t react to someone pointing a gun at him from several feet away. It’s the problem that all speedsters have, but this film didn’t even have the decency to wait 10 minutes. I hope that everyone in the audience noticed how implausible the whole thing was. There’s just no way that Quicksilver is fast enough to pull the earlier scene off.

The after credits scene is also rather laughable. I felt like chuckling when it ended because nothing really happened. Lately, the after credit scenes haven’t been all that good so maybe I got spoiled from the earlier ones like Iron Man 2 and the Avengers. Since then, they’ve mostly been rather lackluster. A proper after credits scene should show a villain making threats, a fight scene, or a big plot twist. It should be something that actually matters and not something that is only a little tribute to the fans who stayed to watch it. That really defeats the whole purpose if you ask me.

The fact that this film is supposed to take place 10 years after Days of Future Past and 10 more years after First Class is another big plot hole that makes no sense when you consider everyone’s ages. The film doesn’t even try to explain this either and just tells you to roll with it. I suppose that this is the only thing that you really can’t do. I don’t really care about plot holes, but it does come across as rather lazy.
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X-Men Apocalypse also reuses old plot lines once again, which makes them rather redundant. Once again, Magneto’s family is murdered so he turns evil. You can probably guess how his character arc will end from there as well. At first I was leaning towards a 4-5 for this film and after going through all of the negatives and the positives, it’s clear that the former wins out. This film’s just incredibly irritating and spends way too much time on build up with no actual climax to save it. It definitely doesn’t deserve a positive score in the end. I mean, the soundtrack is really the only thing that I can praise in this film along with some good visuals and a fun Quicksilver scene. Beyond that, it feels like nothing happened and we didn’t get the action that I had been waiting for the entire time. That being said, it did manage to avoid some issues like animal violence and there is a decent amount of replay value to be found here. It’s not quite Avengers and I probably wouldn’t rewatch it anytime soon, but at least it’s not over the top grim.

One thing that hurts the film quite a bit is the fact that it is never fun. The film tries to be humorous at times, but it never quite works. Professor Xavier claims that he believes in the humans and that they can all coexist for peace, but it comes across as a crazy thought in this film. There is never even a shred of evidence or potential for Xavier to see and reaffirm his beliefs on that. I’m glad that he is finally training the team a little, but he sure took his time. It’s heavily implied that he knew about how mutants were still being persecuted, hunted, and used for sport around the world, but he decided to do nothing about it. When good people do nothing in the face of evil, evil wins. That’s a common saying that it used and it certainly fits this mentality that Xavier has. He has done nothing to help the mutants and is content to simply stay at his school. He makes threats about what will happen if humans attack him, but he needs to see the bigger picture.

I was glad to see that the film kept in Nightcrawler’s Christianity. I was worried that they would cut that out, but it is emphasized in a scene or two which was great. I also like how Havok pointed out that the Apocalypse myths stole the 4 Horsemen angle from the Bible. Moira tries to deny this, but it’s easy to see that she was grasping at straws from that point. Considering that Apocalypse’s whole angle is that he wants to be the god of the world, it’s good to see the film acknowledging the true God and putting Apocalypse down as a false one.

Naturally, Cyclops has been changed to make him more of a rebellious character this time. Gone are the days when he was the responsible member like in the 90’s show or Evolution. He’s the one who decides to break the rules and head to the mall even when he knows that he could be putting them all in a lot of danger. Nightcrawler stands out quite a bit after all and Cyclops can’t control his powers at all. Seems like a recipe for disaster if you ask me. Mystique is the heroic leader this time, but I guess she may not be a main character in the next film. It’s time to see if the next generation can hold their own title. She did well here though and is one of the more likable characters. She may actually be the best X-Men member. After all, Mystique is actually going around the world and helping out the other mutants. That’s something that none of the others are doing.

Jean Grey’s a decently good character. The accent is a little odd and overall she doesn’t feel as much like Jean Grey as the older version, but give it time and we’ll get used to her I suppose. It is a little sad that her powers were so easily blocked by an EMP barrier though. Given that she is finally starting to realize her true powers, this luckily shouldn’t be a problem in the next film. Nightcrawler was all right, but did they really have to make him look so bad in his true form? It can still look solid while still showing that he grew up in a tough situation. Beast is rather terrible and spends all his time flirting instead of doing anything productive with himself.

Quicksilver’s a solid character and as mentioned before, he did have some of the best scenes. At least he was ready to fight. Havok was also a great member and was the only one to stand up to Apocalypse. It’s a shame that we knew he would lose from the start, but he had guts. Magneto makes for a good antagonist although the cheering during one of his first scenes was rather unsettling. He massacres a group of cops after they murder his wife and child, but let’s look at the context for this. As far as these guys know, Magneto is a wanted criminal who tried to assassinate the President of the United States before going into hiding. Sure, Magneto has been working for the country for a while undercover, but he is still a fugitive who escaped justice. Are the cops supposed to simply turn a blind eye to this?

Furthermore, it looked like the cop in question who fired the arrow simply slipped due to being distracted by the birds. That was inexcusable and it’s understandable that Magneto exacted revenge, but to cheer as the other cops are killed is also very bad. They really hadn’t done anything and they were fully prepared to just arrest Magneto. Knowing how the films work, I’m sure that they would have turned out to be corrupt or something because films always like to make the government evil. That being said, it was still a rather sad scene and it’s too bad that these things always happen to Magneto’s family. Either way, he is a sympathetic villain and easily the most interesting one in this film. I have enjoyed his character quite a lot in this trilogy and more so than in the original films. That being said, this character arc does seem as if it has been repeated so it’s not very original this time around.

Angel’s your average drunk fighter. Granted, he was forced into the arena, but it certainly hardened him. Considering that Apocalypse has no mind control over his followers, you do have to question how Angel follows him so obediently after his rather painful transformation. I guess that’s how much he likes the feeling of being strong. There’s nothing particularly cool about him and he’s just there to have another villain around. Storm is cool and has more personality than the other two horsemen. (So, not counting Magneto) In the end, she didn’t have the guts to make her move before the classic 5 minute delay which lost some points with me, but she made for a decent villain. Her powers seemed very weak though and that’s considering that Apocalypse had augmented them. Hopefully she will look more impressive next time.

Psylocke’s always been one of my favorite X-Men characters, but unfortunately she has gotten the shaft in every one of her appearances. In the 90’s show she appeared briefly to fight Magneto, Wolverine, Sabertooth, and some of the other fighters only to vanish after that multiparter was over. In Wolverine and the X-Men she only appeared very briefly. Considering that she is a great hand to hand fighter and that she has telepathic abilities, I always thought that she was underrated. I’m glad that she finally got to be a main villain in this film, but her role here was rather small. The series seems like it has big plans for her, but she didn’t look quite as impressive as she should have. She is brave and isn’t afraid to fight so those are always good qualities. Hopefully she’ll get more action scenes next time to give us some more feats for the character.

As for Apocalypse, he’s not a cool villain. I like him a lot in the 90’s show and most of his comic iterations are solid as well although it’s been a while since he has done anything of importance in the comics. That being said, I like Apocalypse because he is a fighter. He is above mutants and can typically handle a dozen or more heroes at once. This version only seems to have transmutation abilities and maybe some TK abilities. That’s not enough to make him look impressive and he can barely fight. He completely relies on his barriers and followers all the time. The film really messed up with him. At the very least, I did like the chants that he got during the beginning of the film. I thought that the chanting song was surprisingly good.

There really wasn’t much of a point to Moira being around though. Unfortunately, she doesn’t add anything to the film and didn’t really need to be there. Meanwhile, I didn’t care for how the government reacted after all of the nukes were fired. They looked mildly surprised and then they never appeared again until the very end. Considering the tensions in the 80’s, you’d think that there would be more alarm and distress after having lost all of their nukes. I would have liked to have seen the government do something rather than simply have a shadow cabinet kidnap the gullible X-Men. (“We’re here to help…we’re just carrying guns for fun” The X-Men should have instantly known that something was up instead of just standing around with a confused expression on their faces)

If the next film wants to succeed, it’s going to have to start with more super powered fights. 90% of the “battles” in this film were just mutants slaughtering humans who can’t fight back. Magneto against construction workers and cops, _________ against various armed soldiers, etc. I don’t go watch an X-Men film to see uneven battles. I want mutants against mutants just like I go to a Man of Steel film to watch Superman do battle with other super powered beings. It just makes sense.

To an extent, I’ve also got to blame the trailers for why the film was so disappointing. First, let me state what I believe the point of a trailer to be. A good trailer should get you as hyped about a film as possible through any means necessary. It can be misleading and it can show spoilers. None of that matters so long as the trailer is awesome and hype. The trailers succeeded on that front as they did a good job of making the film look awesome. These were definitely the best X-Men trailers ever. Unfortunately, the problem is that by comparison, the film is rather bad as you are watching it. Most of the best scenes that showed promise in the trailers either don’t happen until the final 5 minutes of the film as set up for the next one or they are so out of context that the real context isn’t as good. (Similar to the “Do you bleed” line from Batman V Superman. The context in the trailer was so much better) This was going to be the film where the heroes finally got their costumes, but it happens after all of the fights have finished so it barely matters. It was hard not to chuckle when Beast opened the containers to take out the combat costumes for everyone because they were….black leather costumes once again. Sure, there were some cosmetic changes, but essentially it was back to the same things as in the original trilogy. So much for progress. There’s probably more things that I could mention in regards to the film, but I can’t think of any more at the moment so this is a good time to start wrapping up the review. If anything, just hit me up in the comments for more details or to explain why you liked the film. For every naysayer there is a fan and vice versa after all.
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Overall, whenever an X-Men film ends, you’re left with a sign of hope that the next one will finally be good. This one ends with that note as well, but I have a feeling that the film will manage to mess this up somehow. The visions of the future look promising and Apocalypse also seems thrilled at the prospect of what is going to occur, but I simply don’t think the film can handle it. The franchise has simply failed one too many times with this film. Despite its flaws, the original X-Men trilogy certainly felt more like X-Men films than this latest trilogy. Hopefully the series goes up from here, but what it needs is a complete reboot. The film needs to improve on every level so giving it some time away from the big screen may be in its best interest. If you were tempted to watch this film, I recommend skipping it and checking out Batman V Superman instead. It’s certainly more worth your money. Fox has a ways to go if it wants to catch up to Warner Bros, Disney, or even Sony at this point.

Overall 5/10

The Manchurian Candidate Review

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Considering a certain event in the new Captain America series and the general plot of the Civil War film, it’s a good time to look at this film. Unfortunately, it was quite terrible so don’t go in expecting me to tell you how great it all was. It’s a very sad film where the characters continue to make mistake after mistake. The brainwashing is advanced enough that it completely clobbers a whole group of people and America doesn’t realize how many undercover fighters are around. Can the country stop these guys before it is too late…or is it already too late!?

Marco was with a platoon behind enemy lines. Unfortunately, his group was captured and brainwashed by the Soviets and forced to murder each other. One member of their group was turned into a sleeper agent (Raymond) while the others were allowed to return to the country. Why weren’t they all turned into sleeper agents? Who knows! Anyway, Marco starts having odd dreams and realizes that something is not right. He starts to uncover the truth behind Raymond, but what can he do about it. Few believe him and even fewer have enough power to do anything about this. Marco’s going to have to go with his gut instincts here, but it may not be enough.

Typically, you’d think that the film would try to make Raymond likable so we’d actually be sympathetic to his plight right? Well, this film decides to take the opposite approach and makes him a guy who is not likable in the slightest. This is why Marco suspects that something is up since the brainwashing forces every member of his platoon to like the guy. Even once Marco finds out that playing cards are the key to stopping Raymond, he decides to leave the agent alone for one more night with his fiance. Big mistake.

As a result of Marco’s blunder, Raymond destroys her along with her father and claims many more innocent victims along the way. He even gets one last murder as the film ends because nobody was fast enough to stop him. One subplot that is also grating from the start is that he and his mother don’t get along at all. This leads to a series of insults and sob stories as we find out that she is the one controlling him. Raymond can only watch as she takes out the playing cards and brainwashes him once again. No worries, he is partially cured by the end so he remembers enough to take her down, but naturally he doesn’t take any prisoners.

Not that this film needed any more subplots to destroy the momentum, but after a “Miller Time” moment (Downing a lot of beers) Raymond remembers an event from the past. He met a girl and instantly they fell in love, but his mother warned him to get away from her and he made sure to listen. The flashback felt like it just kept on going for ages and ages. It barely even mattered in the end and just added two more individuals for Raymond to murder in the end. Civil War definitely handled the concept better, but I suppose that this goes without saying. Even the fight scene between Marco and the guy who worked for Raymond wasn’t any fun, but I suppose that I should be grateful to have a fight scene at all.

The bottom line is that this film just wasn’t any fun in the end. My films need to at least have some entertaining aspect to them, but there was none of that to be found here. I felt bad for everyone that Raymond destroyed, but not quite as much for him. The police should have had the election guarded a lot better, especially considering that Marco knew that Raymond might try something. Letting him go on his own was definitely not their best strategy. Of course, they did foil the Soviet plan, but apparently there are many more of them hiding in the country already. The film doesn’t end with a whole lot of hope for the Americans, but at least we know that they won in the end. I tried to think of a silver lining here, but I really can’t. This is the kind of film that will have you staring at the clock on the wall for its entire duration. There are no positives or saving graces here. I suppose you could at least make the argument that it could have been worse though.

Overall, The Manchurian Candidate is another critically acclaimed film that ends up falling completely flat. None of the characters are likable and most of them are only introduced so they can be destroyed later on. The brainwashing was way too complete and unbreakable. Especially since it has already been years that have passed, I find it hard to believe that it would be so effective. Just looking at a deck of cards is basically enough to stop Raymond. The whole thing was just too easy for the Soviets from start to finish. I don’t really blame the government for not believing Marco since this is all a rather unbelievable story, but it didn’t make his job any easier. I definitely do not recommend this film so watch it at your own peril.

Overall 0/10

You’re the Greatest Charlie Brown Review

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Looks like it’s time for the next Charlie Brown special. I’m slowly building up my resume as far as these are concerned. One day, I will have seen them all! This one focuses on the school’s Olympic meet so it makes sense that this was one of the better ones. I’m always up for some sports and the special actually doesn’t skip any of them which was nice. I was expecting some to be glossed over for the sake of time, but they all got their props. Snoopy doesn’t look as dominant as he should have though.

Charlie Brown’s school is neck and neck with a rival group, but none of their members want to enter the Decathalon. Luckily, Charlie Brown shows up and asks them if he can enter any of the events. The kids quickly give him that one since it is the toughest of the bunch. Charlie Brown undergoes a tough training program so that he can compete with the best of them. Just in case, Charlie Brown’s school enters Marcie as well and even Snoopy gets in on the action. Their only opposition is a bully that the other team sent in to even the score. Still, Charlie has trained for this so he should have the edge right?

Charlie actually proves that he can hold his own and actually would have won the event if not for his severe overconfidence. Charlie seemed to think that none of the other contestants had the skills to defeat him so he decided to run the last race with his eyes closed. That was his big mistake as he went charging into the forest and nearly cost his school the win. Luckily Marcie still claimed victory for the school, but Charlie really let everyone down. Typically he tried his best and things just didn’t work out, but this time it was directly his fault. It was rather out of character for Charlie, but I suppose he’ll get em next year. He’s still a solid character and at least he went through with the training.

As for the supporting characters, only Patty and Marcie really got roles this time. Lucy would appear every once in a while to insult Charlie a little, but that was it for her role. Marcie kept subtly insulting Charlie by complimenting him after he would fail a task. She was definitely a bad character in this one and also had the most predictable ending of the group. I’ve never really cared for Marcie, but this was probably her worst appearance. It was clear from the start that she would be the one to win. Patty wasn’t bad and served her role as group leader, but that’s really it for her this time.

The animation has stayed consistent with the other Charlie Browns specials. It is really retro and you can tell that the series came out a very long time ago, but it still looks fairly good to this day. It certainly ages well. There isn’t much of a soundtrack, but I can’t say that I was expecting one. At this point in time, films never really had much of a soundtrack. At the very least it was rare to find anything besides the usual themes.

Overall, You’re The Greatest Charlie Brown is a good special. As I mentioned earlier, I do think that Snoopy was a little under powered this time. I would have expected him to have easily crushed all of the other contestants. I was glad to hear that he took the bully down in the end, but he should have won the whole tournament. This is Snoopy that we are talking about after all, he is virtually invincible. Marcie was also annoying for the most part. Snoopy, Lucy, and Patty were solid though. If you like the other Charlie Brown specials than you should like this one. There is more action than usual due to the events and as a result this special doesn’t reuse most of the normal gags. With the new scenery this means that it is telling more of a fresh story than usual. In the end, this Charlie Brown special is a pleasant way to spend a half hour or so.

Overall 7/10

The Little Shop of Horrors Review


Remember the Bucket of Blood? Well this film’s very similar since it is made from the same guy with just about all of the same actors and a verrrrry similar plot. It is a little better since there is no animal violence but it’s still a pretty bad film. At least this way you can say that the film lived up to its name though right? There were definitely a lot of horrors to be found here to say the least. Who knows, maybe the remake is better…maybe. Well, let’s jump on in!

Seymour is a demented murderer who never really had the courage to do anything too drastic. That changes when he grows a man eating plant and ends up feeding it a body to cover up his murder. Seymour then starts going around murdering people until he finally decides to stop. It’s too late though since the plant has leveled up and now it knows how to mind control people. Seymour’s certainly in a sticky situation now, but at least he is getting rich!

There are two detectives looking into the murders, but it is tough going since the movie takes place in a rough neighborhood where people die just about every other second. Still, they’re doing their best. One guy even lost his son, but just reminded everyone that those are the brakes when you live in the area. Everyone solemnly agrees. The shop owner knows that Seymour is destroying people, but he doesn’t want to say anything because of all the money that he is earning. See the similarities between the two films yet?

What helps Seymour realize that destroying people is wrong is getting friend zoned by the main heroine yet again. Unfortunately it is just too late at that point and will power was never Seymour’s strong suit. Once the jig is up we get a very similar chase scene to the last film and Seymour decides to destroy himself, but this time he’ll also take the plant with him. Once again the ending tries to have some humor as Seymour gets one last line of vengeance. Yeah…it’s an interesting line at the very least.

One advantage that this film has over the Bucket of Blood is the fact that the plant makes for a decently cool antagonist here. I like the fact that he’s always yelling for more food. It makes him a bit more realistic and likable even if he is very unreasonable. Having basic telepathy was also very impressive. The heroes should have tried a little harder to stop him, but I suppose that they realized how outgunned they were. After all, the plant was able to take down a robber at one point without any real effort. The guy even had a gun, but I guess he didn’t suspect that the plant could be alive. Who would right?

The best character in the film is easily the guy who likes to eat flowers. He comes out of nowhere and is another really insane character to add to the rest of the cast. The film really wanted to make everyone as insane as possible, but this guy’s gimmick actually worked really well. Whenever he’d eat a flower you couldn’t help but grin at how crazy the whole thing was. I also liked the way that he confidently walked into the store and basically acted like he owned the place. He didn’t even buy the flowers he just went in and started eating them. Now that’s what I call an unexpected action!

Meanwhile, we also had a crazy dentist guy who is psychotic and likes to make people feel pain as he drills through their mouth. No worries, Seymour destroyed him, but then he meets a pain addict and decides to pretend that he is the dentist and messes with the guy for a while. It’s a very odd scene that comes out of nowhere and it reminds you that there are no sane people in this town. No wonder everyone ends up dying every day over in that place. It must be due to only having one flower shop in the whole town. Hoe can anyone enjoy the nice fragrances that way?

Parts of the film can sound humorous as a result of how crazy this whole situation is, but in the end it tends to be more wince worthy than anything else. The film’s fairly short, but at the same time it feels like you’ve already seen it all. All of the characters are really unlikable and annoying aside from the flower eater. I suppose that Seymour’s boss isn’t all that boss though. He’s the main comic relief of the film and does a pretty good job in the role. He may be corrupt, but he gets the most one liners in the film. He consistently makes sure to hint that Seymour may not be what he seems even if nobody ever picks up on his hints. At least halfheartedly trying to Seymour is better than nothing I suppose. Seymour’s definitely lucky that he ended up being in this town with the plant. With the death count being so high, it makes it a lot easier to raise the plant in secret.

I didn’t really talk about the negatives all that much since I basically covered them in the Bucket film, but this is a separate review so I should go into it at least a little. The main problem here is naturally Seymour. He’s a terrible main character and is someone that you cannot root for. The movie tries to present him as someone who is very reluctantly murdering everyone, but I can’t buy into that. He knows what he is doing the whole time and could choose not to do so. He’s simply trying to justify the whole thing to himself and isn’t doing a great job of it. It can be pretty sad to see everyone getting murdered by the plant as well with all of the sad slurping sounds. Even a poor drunk guy isn’t spared as he steps in front of train tracks and Seymour was in the area. The problem with this film is that it just isn’t all that fun half the time and the fact that none of the main characters are likable just ends up hurting it a lot. I do appreciate the friend zone card though.

Overall, The Little Shop of Horrors is certainly an improvement over the Bucket of Blood, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a huge one. It is still a bad film, but at least the humor was a little better in this film. It is interesting how all of the characters were so reused here though. This film almost feels like an AU or remake of Bucket of Blood, but just with a slightly different plot. Regardless at least we got a talking plant who happens to be evil. I’m sure that a lot of people weren’t expecting that plot to make it to the big screen. If that’s your cup of tea and you want a lot of insane characters then go for it. If you want a cooler film, then go watch Batman V Superman. Now that one brings the hype!

Overall 3/10

A Bucket of Blood Review

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It’s time to take a look at one of the worst films that I have ever seen. It ranks up there with Sucker Punch and Amityville Horror. This film is so horrendously bad that you will be staring at your watch through most of it and the film feels like it is 3 hours. There’s not a single redeemable part of the film and it just keeps going from bad to worse. Of course, the title was a fairly obvious indicator that this film was going to be terrible, but I don’t think anyone suspected just how terrible it would be.

The main character is named Walter and he’s a psychotic mass murderer who works as a waiter for a small restaurant. One day he sees a cat and realizes that he can finally realize his ambitions and destroys it, turning it into a statue. That’s his favorite hobby after all and slowly but surely he starts to murder other people and turns them all into statues. Nobody can tell that there is a human body of rotting flesh inside of the clay though so their noses must all be stuffed from the super large amounts of smoke inside of the cafe. The shop owner knows that Walter is going around murdering everyone, but he also knows that each murder increases his profits tremendously so he turns the other way. Can he afford to do that forever or will he have to make a move?

The police also send an agent into the restaurant to stop the ongoing drug problem there. Everyone is always high in this establishment so it is tricky to find out who is actually dealing the goods. Especially when everyone has a hand in it. The detective decides that it’s just too much trouble and decides to attack Walter. Walter destroys him of course since police training is no match for a very scrawny fellow with a frying pan. The cops never find out what happened to the detective and barely seem to care as they are written out of the film completely.

Walter has a lot of friends to stick up for him as well. The shop owner’s daughter loves the paintings and encourages Walter to get more by any means necessary. There are a few drunk guys who are always yelling nonsense about acorns and reality who love Walter’s paintings as well. They think that he is a visionary and while they don’t like money, they like what you can buy with money. More beers for everyone! If only they knew the truth about Walter! Well, in the climax we get a chase scene as Walter tries to destroy the main heroine when she rejects him and places the friend zone card. Walter outruns everyone for quite a while and proves that he’s used to fleeing the scene. Eventually he destroys himself since the stress was too much for him. The drunk guy even makes a pun about this and the film ends on that chipper note.

“Is It Over!” I found myself thinking as I fled the scene as well. This film was just so preposterously bad that it was a thrill so see it all over. The film tries to be funny by having as many extreme and unrealistic characters as possible, but the end result is actually that everyone simply comes off as being unlikable instead. Also, I’ll never be fine with the idea of a mass murderer being the main character. The whole point of a main character is that he or she should be a likable protagonist. Someone that you can root for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the main character has to be a hero, but if he is a villain like in this case, then it better be something comically mild like theft or it’s about the villain becoming a hero. A full fledged villain with no morals as the main character? That’s really not going to bode well for the film in the long run.

The film may even be more cringe worthy than Sucker Punch if you ask me although it’s tough. Sucker Punch is more depressing, but it also doesn’t have any animal violence and it has action scenes. A Bucket of Blood is just tough to watch since it’s so terrible and wince worthy, but it’s not nearly as repulsive as Sucker Punch. It’s definitely a tough fight and at least I can guarantee that I’ll never see this film again. I’d highly recommend taking a pass on it if I were you readers as well.

Overall, A Bucket of Blood is even worse than the title would suggest. All of the characters are nonsensical, unlikable, and corrupt characters. There is nobody to root for, there is animal violence, and the pacing is horrible. There is no soundtrack and the film’s effects are terrible as well. If you want to watch an old film with a lot of class, check out Superman vs The Mole Man. It fixes just about all of the problems that I had with this film and then some. It’s the kind of film where you’ll walk away with a grin instead of a groan.

Overall 0/10