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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Review

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It’s time for the final Indiana Jones film. I remember this one got a lot of attention when the trailers were coming out. To me it looked like it would be a fun film but I can’t say I’ve ever been super into the franchise. So I sorta just forgot about it for a while there but now after watching the rest of the films I was ready to check this one out. It’s a fun nostalgia sequel and I would put it right in the middle from the previous films. So it definitely does a lot of things right and it’s a really good way to close out the series.

The movie starts out with the best sequence in the entire film as Jones infiltrates a Nazi train and takes down a bunch of agents. He even manages to secure the Dial of Destiny. Many years pass and in the present, the main Nazi scientist has returned. He wants to use the Dial of Destiny in order to go back in time and change history in some major ways. He will need both Dials for this though and that won’t be easy. Additionally he has to contend with a lady named Helena has taken the dial for her own purposes. Well, basically she wants to be rich and now her ex boyfriend and his army is involved. All of these forces are fighting for the dial so Jones is forced to come out of retirement for one last journey. Can he still fight?

Right off the bat I can say the make or break point for this film will be how much you can still enjoy Indiana Jones here. For starters the guy is definitely really old and the film doesn’t try to trick you about this. He feels old the whole time as he can no longer handle the big adventures as much. The guy can still throw a solid punch and gets some running here but you’re not going to see any extended fight scenes. It’s probably why we had the opening flashback sequence. Also like I said that was the best part of the movie so they go through the peak rather quickly.

I appreciate that Jones still has a strong moral compass and is trying to help out even in his old age though. It’s certainly not an easy mission but he’s not complaining and is doing his best here. He’s been through a lot as we find out what happened to his son and his marriage. It does mean that a certain scene at the very end of the film doesn’t really work for me though. It’s just a bit too late and the whole song and dance has happened one too many times. At least that’s the way I see it. I would have ended the film a bit differently although it is still a satisfying journey all the way through.

The new heroine Helena is okay but she really does get them into a whole lot of trouble. She beats the heroine from the second film but definitely loses to any others. As a supporting character she just never really warmed up to me. Likewise I didn’t care for the thief kid here either. So Jones himself really has to carry the team which is hard since he’s not in his prime. We do have an extended car chase scene in the middle of the film and it was fun to see Jones pull out his skills there. If there’s one thing he’s always been really good at, it’s making snap decisions and outwitting everyone else.

The main villain is also a bit on the weak side although I think this is a bit intentional on the film’s part. He’s always very whiny and not particularly strong. He starts to get humiliated from his very first appearance and can’t even hold his own with Jones. The guy has to rely on his thugs the whole time and even then he panics near the end. He’s a very insecure genius and while he has his fun moments like when he’s confidently giving interviews, he never appears as a threat from a villain’s perspective.

The only main part where the film was disappointing is that we don’t get much time travel. With the premise I figured we’d be going to the past fairly early on but as the film ticks on you start to realize that this won’t be possible. At one point I thought we might not even see the past at all. That would have been a lot of fun though since time travel always has a lot of potential. I think the movie should have given lots of scenes for that and this is where they went wrong. The climax involves some really fun imagery and I could have used more of that.

One thing you can’t call the film is boring though. The adventure is pretty fast paced with a whole lot going on. You’ve got villains around every corner and having them infiltrate Jones’ school and start shooting people was intense. You do feel bad for his poor colleagues who got roped into this though. It’s why heroes hide their secret identities because then stuff like this happens. I do think they could have had security/the cops look a bit better during the initial chases though. You’d think a cop getting shot during a huge parade would warrant a much bigger call to arms across the city and get at least some more officers around. The villains never really have to answer for this and while the heroes left the country rather fast, it felt like something that wouldn’t just die out. I’d have liked to have seen the U.S. do a little more later on.

Overall, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is a pretty fun film. I give the writers serious kudos for having this film feel a whole lot like the older ones. It has the proper fun, action tone that you’d expect from these films. They did a great job on making the film feel very authentic the whole time. While Jones himself is definitely the most different since you’re used to seeing him on the front lines, everything else is as you’d expect it. It’s also fun to see how the cinematography and everything has changed over the years. When the film starts it immediately looks way clearer and more detailed than the previous films. Almost as if the graphics of real life itself have improved. Of course it could also just be a case of streaming making it look more grand or just the cameras that were used. Either way it made this feel like a true cinematic experience that stood above the other titles in the franchise in terms of scale. Although the original film continues to live on as the best one in the series.

Overall 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review

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Now it’s time for Indiana Jones to edge closer to the next generation. This one introduces a new kid who can actually be rather fun at times. I’m not saying he’s amazing or anything like that but he does bring a lot of confidence and energy into the picture. This makes for a fun film as a result and I’d probably put it in second behind the original film. There is a lot of fun adventuring to be had here and the film moves at a good pace.

The movie starts off with Indiana being captured as always and he still escapes but not before getting betrayed by his friend Mac. Mac basically just wanted a lot of money and didn’t care who he got it from. Well sadly this means Indiana’s reputation is shot as people think he is a commie so he is forced to take a leave of absence from his teaching position. He prepares to leave the country but is stopped by a teen named Mutt. Mutt informs Indiana that there is one last job to do. Indiana’s old friend Ox has gone crazy after looking into a powerful gem and our hero needs to look into this. It may have something to do with ancient civilizations and it’s not like Jones was ever one to back off from a challenge like this. Can he still hold his own in a fight at his age?

The main thing you will be wondering as you watch the film is how Indiana hasn’t died of some kind of bacteria disease just yet. He’s constantly touching old mummies and dead bodies without any gloves or protective equipment. That seems like an absolutely terrible idea right? All it would take is one misstep and he is absolutely cooked. Ah well I guess he’s lucky. Unfortunately as always Jones looks bad in the romance department here. It’s retroactive in fact as we find out he got cold feet right before the wedding. It’s a terrible look for him. Also while it is played for laughs, we see how he holds very different standards for a random guy vs his son. His tune changes real fast.

Jones is generally more in control than in the previous films though so maybe old age actually helped him out this time. He knows how o handle himself in a fight as always but also isn’t getting outmaneuvered as much. I do think he was a bit easy on Mac towards the end though. When you have a traitor there can be no mercy at al, Mac never gave me a reason to actually think that he would be any good at all. The guy was willing to sell everybody out in order to get what he wanted and that makes him as evil as it gets. The first time Jones got to punch him was definitely satisfying.

Spalko is the first villain in a minute who is actually memorable and solid. She’s not relying on her feminine wiles to win a fight or anything like that. No, she can just straight up fight and gives Indiana a real battle the whole time. That’s what I want to see from one of these villains and she’s one of the more powerful opponents that we’ve seen in a minute as well. Ultimately her own ambitions were what got to be too much for her.

As for Mutt, well he’s a fun lad like I said in the intro. He’s always ready for a fight an his pocket knife comes in handy on more than one occasion. Without him the heroes would have really been in a bad spot. He isn’t always prepared like when he brought a knife to a gun fight but it’s also not like you would expect a teen to have his own gun just yet. Mutt is definitely a very rebellious character but written in an effective way so that he doesn’t come across as too annoying.

Marion shows up rather deep into the film and doesn’t look bad. I would just say that she is too merciful. She should want nothing to do with Indiana after what he did. It’s something these films never seem to learn when it comes to romance. Things don’t just patch together in an instant. There is always going to be some resentment and you can’t build a good relationship out of that. The film should have kept them as just friends or something instead. It’s also not like you really needed any romance here and could have kept us in suspense instead for a future film.

Indiana’s friend Ox tends to be super annoying though. It’s not fully his fault as the guy went absolutely crazy but that’s the case for almost the whole film. He can barely talk and when he does it is just cryptic nonsense. He’s basically more of a plot device than a character. The plot itself was interesting but I definitely would have cut him out. You just don’t need the guy. Meanwhile the film can’t help itself with the creepy crawlies and so this time you have a ton of Ants eating people. A bunch of them also get stomped with some really crazy ooze effects.

Was all of that really necessary? The ants design is pretty intense when you focus on how they actually look. I definitely give the film some good credit there but otherwise you really could have skipped those. Then we have the climax with some pretty big implications for the series. I fully expect all future films to completely ignore the ending though. Jones keeps finding some rather crazy stuff but then doesn’t tell the world or try to make it a big deal. He should be using this knowledge for the betterment of humanity but of course he will need to go slow or he will be jailed for conspiracy or something like that. You could probably do a whole film on Jones just trying to gather his bearings on all of the things that he knows now. The film’s effects were definitely solid.

Overall, Indiana’s dynamic with Mutt is actually rather solid. I enjoyed their scenes together and Mutt holds his own way more than you would expect from the average teen. Perhaps the film series is just good at handling kids and the rest. While the film admittedly has less of a sense of danger than the previous ones, it is still a lot of fun which is the important part. The opening scene involving a fridge was really quite solid as well and shows what a quick thinker he is. Not just anyone would have been able to handle that. Finally Indiana just loses less than he does in the other films. He’s still not always on top or anything like that but he is starting to act like the main adventurer he is supposed to be. Even if he is quite a bit older now.

Overall 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Review

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Now we are on to the third Indiana Jones film. This time even his father gets in on the action. It’s definitely a considerable step up from the last film although I would give the first one the edge. The father gets some fun moments here and there but as a whole I do think he tends to take away from Indiana’s moments instead of bolstering them. If you’re up for another big adventure then you’ve come to the right place.

The film sets the stage early on with the goofiest intro scene as a young Indiana tries to outsmart a bunch of crooks but is naturally defeated. In part because his father doesn’t try to help at all. Well, in the present Indiana gets his revenge but when he gets home, he is told by his friend that his father has vanished. The last thing he did was send Indiana his diary which was focused on his quest for the Holy Grail. He must have been on to something which is why he has disappeared so suddenly. Indiana is on the trail now but can he find him? Additionally, will he be able to keep things professional with Dr. Elsa? Yeah…I didn’t think so either.

Indiana isn’t able to stay professional for 5 seconds as he immediately starts to flirt with her. If she was an enemy operative trying to seduce him it could not be any easier as he falls for her immediately. His dad’s in a real bind so you’d think that would make Indiana focus but here is no such luck. The romance here is quite bad once again. It’s played for laughs a bit as they both try to talk tough about how they’re not easy but even they don’t take that seriously. It also makes Indiana look really gullible like in one scene where he is given a heads up but all he can think about is Elsa. Not his best moment at all.

Fact of the matter is, Indiana is completely over his head. Before the mission he is told to trust nobody and yet he ends up showing Elsa the secret diary rather quickly. He also buys some rather terrible excuses. Yeah it’s no wonder why he is always being defeated in every film. This one may be his worst appearance overall but it’s close since he is constantly devastated in every film. The villains just keep their eye on the ball longer than he does which gives them a real advantage.

Meanwhile there is a little drama with Indiana and his father but there’s just not enough time within the film to really get started on that. It feels like a subplot you didn’t really need since it barely goes anywhere. Henry (The father) doesn’t change at all from the beginning of the film to the end. He still calls Indiana “Junior” to annoy him and ends up being more of a liability. He is just a really weak character the whole way through and unfortunately he also has Indiana’s weaknesses. That doesn’t put him in a good situation at all. With more self control maybe he could have solved the mystery already.

Indiana’s partner Marcus is unfortunately also at his worst here. He is even more oblivious than usual and has no idea what he is doing. I initially thought this would be his time to step up but it wasn’t to be. The guy is just not equipped for battle and doesn’t even know when it has begun. Forget calling him an asset to Jones, the guy is basically just a distraction at best. I liked him more in the previous films where he stayed home.

As for Elsa, well there’s not much to like about her. She’s very wishy washy the whole time and really doesn’t see the big picture. Elsa doesn’t stay logical during the case and lets her emotions run away with her. Not a smart move for someone with a big plan like this. I would also hit Indiana with the same complaint since he starts to make a crazy rookie move near the end which makes no sense with how he had just been acting a second prior. It’s like he forgot everything that had just happened a minute prior.

While the characters tend to all be really annoying, this was definitely a good return to form on the adventure front. You finally had a clear goal with different steps needed at every corner in order to get closer to it. This feels more like what you would expect from an Indiana Jones film. Additionally the film had good humor with funny jokes sprinkled in. It matched the first film more in that regard. Generally it is more light hearted than the first film without a doubt but without going too far. This is still a serious adventure after all and the writing is good either way.

We also got to see more of Professor Jones which is always fun. The guy is definitely a really well respected teacher so you can imagine how much everyone misses him when he’s gone. You get the feeling that the school probably wouldn’t put up with all of his absences otherwise. Although I guess we can assume that off screen he wins enough to have a very solid reputation as an explorer who gets priceless artifacts to the museum so I may be selling him a bit short here. Either way I’m still waiting for a film to dig into the human identity a bit more although this had the most screen time by far so I can accept that. Jones almost seems to have a completely different personality while at school as he’s a lot harder and more sarcastic about the legends. It would be nice if he always had that attitude during the film.

Overall, This was a fun movie. It’s a good adventure that goes by quickly while covering a lot of ground. I think there was some potential with the father son dynamic but the film didn’t really make full use of it at all. To a degree I dare say that you didn’t even need the father there. It’s not like he contributed a whole lot to the story anyway. The movie should have gone into the drama a bit more and tie in a satisfying conclusion. Ah well, the movie succeeds on the other fronts with the writing and humor. I appreciate how they made this one more light hearted. If you haven’t seen it yet then you definitely ought to.

Overall 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Review

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It’s time for the weakest Indiana Jones adventure. This one definitely dwells a bit too much on the grosser elements of exploration as the heroes keep finding themselves in spots where the locals eat rather gross food options. Additionally the film definitely does decide to get a little extra edgy like having Jones be forced to take some corrupted blood. The end result is a film that doesn’t quite let Indiana Jones get as much adventuring in as you’d like.

The film starts off with Indiana trying to close out a deal he made with some shady individuals. They betray him but Indiana was ready and betrays them right back. His big mistake was in drinking some poison by mistake so he loses his leverage and barely escapes along with his life. His sidekick Short Round was definitely really helpful here but Jones is less pleased to have a lady named Willie follow along. The 3 of them are now stuck together and before they can go home, Indiana runs into a village where the kids have gone missing. Is it the work of a supernatural entity…or something a little more down to Earth?

Right away I can tell you that the romance in this film is quite abysmal although it’s not like the romance in the Jones films tend to be all that good anywhere. The third film actually gets even worse in that regard. Willie has no reason to like Jones after being tossed in this crazy predicament and she comes off as looking desperate. No worries, the same is true of Jones as well who really can’t ever seem to keep his mind on the adventure at hand. Perhaps that is why he tends to lose several times in every movie? He is constantly being outmaneuvered and manipulated by all of the other characters at every turn. He has to get lucky constantly in order to survive.

I’ll give him credit for doing his best to save the kids and help things end all right but as a character he can definitely be really annoying. In this film he is really outshined by his sidekick most of the time. Shorty saves Jones on multiple occasions and really does a lot better than I would have expected out of any kid. Usually the kids tend to be panicking or getting in the way but not this guy. He stepped up as needed and took a lot of risks. While I still tend to avoid having kids in film, this one wasn’t bad at least. He was probably even the MVP here.

Willie never really gets better even outside of the romance plot to be honest. She is constantly panicking and yelling the whole time. She has some valid points like I wouldn’t want to be forced to eat bugs either. Some kind of escape plan would be a good idea but at the end of the day you can’t always escape everything. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a stand but even to the end Willie was allowing herself to just be pushed around and go with the flow. Not the best way to really pave a path for herself.

Like I said at the start, the film definitely leans too hard on all the creepy crawlies. When characters aren’t eating them, they are in rooms covered in them or having to let them crawl all around. Crude humor probably isn’t quite the word for it so I don’t really know which term is right but it’s just overplayed. Meanwhile this is definitely known as a fairly violent Jones film for good reason. The deaths can get intense, then you have the gruesome drinking blood scene and of course Jones being used as a pin cushion.

While the climax gives us a really long action sequence, it actually takes a while to get there. In the leadup to that we have a whole lot of lore as things are being explained to Jones but the film basically takes a timeout. This could have worked better with a fun backdrop but of course it’s all about the bugs and the weak romance so you’re really just itching for the plot to begin again. Anything to get you out of the duller moments.

The villains are also on the very forgettable side. I’d say the villains from the first film were a lot more impressive. These guys are all insane cultists who fit all the primitive tropes well but do little to really impress you. They’re the kind of villains where you probably won’t remember any of their names or even much of their goals within a few weeks. They are obstacles for Jones to defeat and nothing more. I’m waiting for another big rival character like the guy from the first film. That would make for a much better dynamic.

Also by this point there is so much supernatural going on within the world that Jones needs to weaponize it. Clearly voodoo dolls work so using that to tie up his enemies would be intense. Of course first he would need to figure out how it works but this is all a lot easier once you know that supernatural things do exist. Likewise we had spirits in the first film. I know at the time Jones didn’t believe in the supernatural but surely by this point he does. He would be absolutely crazy to not have put the two dots together by now.

Overall, The Temple of Doom wasn’t particularly good. It’s also just a little too long for it to only be okay so there isn’t a lot of replay value here. To watch it again you would need a strong reason to do so. Additionally there is pretty much no screentime of Jones in his professor role which is a shame since I liked the whole dual identity. It feels like the film just sort of lost its way a bit here although it would rebound in time. I needed more fun tomb exploration and solving puzzles like a Tomb Raider game. That’s what I expect from an Indiana Jones adventure at least.

Overall 5/10

Space Dandy vs Indiana Jones

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Suggested by Destroyer Indiana Jones has a gun and his classic whip but these two weapons will not be enough to beat Space Dandy. I may not be super impressed with the guy and how skilled he is, but Dandy does still have a mech suit and a good energy gun. Indiana Jones won’t be lasting very long against those kind of moves and isn’t fast enough to reliably dodge them either. As a result this is where his journey ends. Space Dandy wins.

Indiana Jones vs Robin Hood

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Suggested by Destroyer Indiana Jones and Robin Hood may not be fighters first and foremost but they’ve both seen quite a lot of action in their day. Ultimately I would give the edge over to Indiana Jones here though because he has used a gun on several occasions and is also agile enough to dodge the many traps in each temple. Robin Hood could probably do that as well but with both of them being so evenly matched, Jones and his gun should prevail. Indiana Jones wins.

Indiana Jones vs Greenman

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Suggested by Destroyer Indiana Jones has a gun as well as a whop.. He knows some basic hand to hand combat skills and has been through a good amount of adventures. The man has way more experience than Greenman but that doesn’t mean that he will be able to win. Greenman may not have looked very impressive in his brief screen time in the Megaman anime, but the guy can still jump really high. His physical specs will be too much for Jones. Greenman wins.

Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones

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Suggested by Destroyer Indiana Jones is definitely a pretty good explorer. He’s been through a lot of adventures and his athletics have gotten him this far. Still, he isn’t nearly as nimble as Lara is. She can run rings around him and also has more experience being in actual fights. She’s taken down robots and all kinds of creatures. Beating Indiana Jones will just be another morning for her. He is just physically outmatched here. Lara Croft wins.

Sticks vs Indiana Jones

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Suggested by Super Dark Shadow Indiana Jones is a tough adventurer who is good with a whip and lasso. That being said, he is up against Sticks who has gone toe to toe with powerful robots in the past. I can appreciate the level of skill that Jones has at his disposal, but I just don’t think that it will be enough here. Sticks is simply too skilled and has enough speed to even dodge his gun if necessary. I’m afraid that his cave exploring days are now over. Sticks wins.

Cia vs Indiana Jones

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Cia concludes her current triple match gauntlet with this round against Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is pretty good at dodging lethal traps, but that doesn’t mean that he can really hope to challenge Cia. She’s in a different league when it comes to experience and actual power. Her speed is also a lot greater than any quickness that Indiana Jones may have had in his prime. Cia wins.