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The Return of the Vampire Review

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It’s time to look at another vampire movie. It’s actually been quite a while since I’ve seen one. Have they gotten better over time or is it doomed just like the rest? This one’s basically the latter. It’s far and away not the worst vampire film I’ve seen, but it still isn’t particularly good. It deserves some props for trying to do its best within the genre, but at the same time it could have simply have chosen another genre and that would have been the end of that.

The film starts off with a vampire showing up and deciding to destroy someone. It’s what he has been doing for years so why stop now? He then claims another victim in a town so 2 of the locals head over to his coffin and murder the guy. (The vampire base gets less and less guarded in each film) Unfortunately the groundskeepers show up later and remove the stake since they were dismayed to see the corpses being defiled in this way. This allows Dracula to return from the grave (All right, I’ll start calling him Tesla from here since that’s his name in this film) and continue his hunt. Tesla decides to adopt a human identity once more so that he can attract more attention to himself and gloat in his self satisfaction. Can anyone stop him?

Right away I have to give the film some credit with how it treats Lady Jane as the lead. She handles the situation wayyyyy better than most of the other main characters who run around crying and screaming at the mere sight of Dracula. Nobody’s got time for that. Jane destroyed him once and when he returns she is ready to conquer him once again…I mean Tesla. Her best scene is when Tesla walks over to her room and boldly starts telling her every part of his plan. He’s going to take her family and rule the world from the shadows. She calmly ignores him during the whole speech and gives him a look that says “Are you done yet?” Tesla gets a little perturbed by this and approaches her. Jane calmly finishes her piano piece and then puts the book down, revealing a cross under it. Tesla runs away scared and you realize that Jane is a very sensible character. She also spends a great deal of time trying to convince everyone else that Tesla is real.

Of course, a vampire film wouldn’t be all there without that one skeptic who refuses to believe that vampires are a thing. He sees the bite marks and doesn’t care. It’s all superstition and hocus pocus. Even his two comic relief underlings eventually see the light while this guy doesn’t even at the very end. You always cut these skeptics a little slack since it would take a lot for me to suddenly believe they are real as well, but you should at least look at what is happening and consider the possibility. What does this guy have to lose? As a result he is rather slow and doesn’t help much at all. He brings a gun to the final fight where he panics and fires the first shot, but that doesn’t help his case either.

To quickly give the underlings a shoutout, they did put up a reasonable fight against the werewolf. It may have been futile, but I’m glad that they didn’t go down in one punch as you may have expected. The Werewolf himself is a little annoying. He can’t resist Tesla’s powers and even after being cured he allows himself to regress back into a villain. At the end it takes getting shot in the chest to finally get him to realize that being a hero is the only true path to take. Better late than never though so we take those.

What makes this film a little better than the other Dracula films is that it doesn’t go for the low brow vampire moments that doom the genre. We don’t see Tesla constantly draining people’s blood. Make no mistake, there are fatalities here and he’s still just as unlikable a villain as always, but the film doesn’t rub our faces in it. There is also no animal violence squeezed in this time. I still don’t find vampires particularly interesting, but considering the genre I think the movie did a fair job of it. The writing isn’t bad either. It balances in some humor and the characters sound reasonable. While the skeptic ultimately would not see reason at least he had some valid reasons for sticking to his version of events.

Overall, The Return of the Vampire is about what you’d expect from a Vampire film. It basically goes through all of the usual motions, but does its best to stay classy throughout. If you are a fan of these films then you’ll certainly enjoy this one. Get ready to see Jane dish out the damage against Tesla. While Vampires have quite a few weaknesses including Garlic and Stakes, I’m always glad that the Cross gets such a powerful effect against them as well. It’s used quite effectively here. The most random scene in the film is probably when a giant explosion occurs which prevents the cross from finishing off Tesla, but since the vampire was doomed anyway perhaps it was just a way to stretch out his inevitable end. Tesla certainly didn’t end up going very peacefully.

Overall 4/10

House Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be much more negative

It’s time to look at a horror/comedy which often times seems to be the best way to handle the genre. It’s a pretty interesting blend of the two genres and one that I think works rather well to be honest. The songs really help as well and the movie does a good job of just never getting too exaggerated. It’s a rare exception to the trope of most horror films being terrible. Of course, since it is part comedy do you wonder a bit if it really counts. I’m actually surprised that it’s R because it didn’t seem all that violent or to have much objectionable content. I’m assuming a lot of it must have been language or something in which case I would naturally rescind my statement that the writing is pretty good in this film, but as mentioned earlier I am specifically reviewing the edited version and as such my recommendation to watch it is only to be applied to that one.

The film starts off with Roger having a pretty awful time of it lately. His wife left him which is always unfortunate. His son went missing a few years back and his aunt died. He’s also on tough times financially as he hasn’t been able to write a new book in a very long time and is just out of ideas. Ah well, he at least gets to inherit his Aunt’s house (Along with her wealth, but he spends a lot of it on cameras) which is supposed to be haunted. Roger doesn’t believe in ghosts, but that may prove to be irrelevant.

One positive that is really apparent here is the monster’s design. She actually has a real design and isn’t just hiding the whole time. She shows up to taunt Roger and even speaks. I admit that I was actually a little shocked when she started talking but certainly in a good way. Then she took out the shotgun and I knew that this wasn’t your average horror villain. She wasn’t relying on cheap reality warping tricks or any of that. She was just fighting Roger in hand to hand combat and making it look easy.

The rest of the monsters here are also pretty cool. You need to see the way the bat twirls around his gun before using it to break the rope Roger is clinging to. That took a lot of skill and the monster world is probably the best one that I’ve seen since Insidious. It’s definitely a highlight and seeing Roger take them on is the best part of the film. I also liked the fact that he used the floating knives in the first room he was in to take on the monster. Usually that trick won’t work, but it’s always worth trying.

There is one subplot that does drag on and isn’t as fun as the rest though, that’s the Vietnam part of the story. We see that Roger used to be in the army and was in a tough squad. They were thrown into a suicide squad where Roger abandoned his teammate to the enemy and ran home. Naturally he feels rather guilty about this and it has haunted his psyche for a very long time. It’s a subplot that feels rather unnecessary. Of course it does end up affecting the main plot by the end so I guess they felt it was good for the twist, but I think it wasn’t needed. I also do think the ghost has a good reason to be mad at Roger because Roger definitely made the wrong call there. Finishing off the guy would have been the wrong move as well. Abandoning and finishing off someone are always the wrong calls. The only right move there would have been to stay and fight until the last man.

Back to the main plot, we also get a random next door neighbor who wasn’t really needed. She is basically just added for the misdirect which is meant to be comedic and some fanservice. Neither of which are good reasons for her inclusion in the first place. Take away her annoying kid and her 3 minutes of screen time and the film wouldn’t really change. Meanwhile, Roger’s ex-wife is a far better character who is a lot more interesting in her short minutes of screen time. I was actually a little worried when she first showed up and Roger took out the Shotgun. If that had actually been her then the film would have crossed that line between being funny and dark which would have been tragic. Fortunately the film handled it pretty well so the twist worked quite well. It was handled pretty well also since I wasn’t exactly sure if it would be played straight or not.

Of course I can’t end a review of this film without mentioning the great music. This may have the best soundtrack from any horror film. That instant where Roger takes down the monster is made perfect when the cool lyrical song starts playing. The timing is perfect and the song is pretty inspirational so it just works so well. We also get another song later on which is quite good as well. The monster’s regenerative abilities prove to be a little tricky afterwards, but Roger did a good job of trying to think everything through. Even chopping the monster into many pieces was definitely a good idea to at least slow it down.

Overall, House was actually pretty fun. It poked fun at the usual horror tropes and did a good job of exploiting them without overdoing it. Roger is a better main character than most of the actual horror leads and the monster is also a step up from normal. This movie basically did everything right. It mat have juggled too many subplots at times and lost focus of what was actually happening, but in the end the pacing was solid and the plot was interesting. The writing was surprisingly good and so was the cast. This could be my new go 2 when recommending a horror film to someone.

Overall 7/10

Phase IV Review

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It’s time to take a look at an old school horror film. This one naturally gets tricky because of course when animals are the focus you have to get a little nervous. If the ants win then they’ll probably still suffer collateral damage, but if they lose then animal violence is assured. As a result, it does feel like there is no winning at times right? Well, that’s basically the situation and unfortunately this film was not able to get past that. It was curtains from the start.

The film starts with a meteor hitting the Earth and granting the ants extra intelligence to help balance them against the humans on the food chain. The Ants decide to take over the world, but they are willing to play the long game. They decide to start off in the suburbs and quickly take the local town over. That’s when two scientists arrive to try and see what can be done about all of this. They may be in a little over their head this time though and when another family is murdered they are also forced to look after a teenage girl. Now they must either try to stay and survive in the base they have built or attempt to escape.

Ernest is the main researcher and he believes that the only way to deal with the ants is to wipe them out. He wants to beat the Ants at their best though so he toys with them for a while. Naturally the ants don’t take too kindly to this. Ernest has a serious superiority complex which also doesn’t mesh too well with the situation. He’s one of the main antagonists here as he tries to prevent Kendra from escaping the base and continually puts the heroes in a bad spot. I can’t say that he was likable.

Of course, Kendra isn’t any good either. She had a traumatic start of course since seeing your family get taken down by ants can be pretty rough. Still, she nearly sabotages the heroes from the start as she breaks a box of ants and causes Ernest to get bitten. She is pretty afraid of the ants the whole time and just can’t keep up with them. At the end she also makes a pretty poor decision which sums up her whole character arc in the film.

Finally we have James who is the last of the main character. He decided to come along and study the ants, but doesn’t realize just how serious the situation is at first. He came to have fun but is quickly thrown into this game of death. He wants a peaceful alternative to dealing with the ants, but that kind of thing never gets to work in these films. You can appreciate the attempt I guess, but at the same time it’s basically just him giving up.

As hinted at earlier the film does have animal violence which really hurts its chances. There is a dog who shows up and naturally doesn’t last long against the Ants. Any animal that gets in their way is quickly demolished. Then you’ve also got other animals like the Grasshopper who shows up and gets wrecked which is pretty unfortunate. I was rooting for him to take some names. The animal violence is pretty bad so the film was definitely sunk at this point.

It also has a bad habit of dragging on scenes forever as we just see the Ants walking around. This’ll just bore you to tears and it speaks to how low the budget must have been for this film. It was just trying to buy time throughout which was too bad. The final segment of the film at least tries to be a little interesting with the twist ending as the Ants learn how to mind control humans and reanimate the dead ones. That could make a sequel a lot more interesting, but since this only happens for the final 1-2 minutes of the film I certainly wouldn’t say that it really impacts the score. At least it didn’t end on a low note right?

I suppose the writing isn’t bad here. The characters may not be the smartest, but at least they don’t always panic right away. For the most part they make an effort to try and stay objective about the whole thing. Blowing up the Ants’ energy cannons was a good idea. I certainly do think they should have had better defenses against the Ants though. Ultimately the insects are just able to walk into their base and destroy them. Meanwhile I thought the ants did a much better job of defending themselves with their cool heat waves and such. They even had fighter Ants of various elements to try and counter whatever the humans had up their sleeves. Their army coordination was on point.

Overall, Between the animal violence and the very underwhelming trio of characters, I can’t say that Phase IV is a film I would recommend to anyone. The dog scene guarantees that and having insects as opponents is never a good idea in basically any form of media. There are a very limited amount of routes you can take here and they all lead to disaster. If you want to see a good horror film I would suggest turning back and watching Poltergeist III instead. Otherwise, you should back up and check out a different genre like Scooby Doo. Those films will always be happy to throw a few puns your way.

Overall 0/10

Scooby-Doo! and the Gourmet Ghost Review

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It’s time to look at the recent Scooby Doo film. This series has definitely been a fun one that adapts over time. The first few films took themselves rather seriously with life and death stakes at play. This gradually changed as the films got a little more self aware and decided to play around with the ghosts. Nowadays the series likes to poke fun at itself while heading to the goal. It’s not necessarily a bad thing as the humor tends to work well but I will say that the original films still tend to be the best ones. This one is a solid installment that plays out like you would expect. It’s entertaining even if it’s nothing groundbreaking.

The film starts with the gang getting ready to head over to the manor of Fred’s uncle. He is a famous cook who really knows how to get a nice dish on the fryer. Shaggy and Scooby are glad to finally be somewhere where they can eat to their heart’s content. They’re naturally pretty thrilled, but it turns out that this vacation may not be all fun and games. A local ghost has shown up and is terrorizing the cooks. It looks like the uncle might have to finally sell his place to a very eager real estate agent who has been visiting lately. Fred decides that the gang will have to put an end to this, but how can they possibly compete with a supernatural entity like a ghost?

We’ve got a few suspects on the docket for this film. First off we can probably eliminate the guest stars. I mean, the uncle and the other cook could possibly be the crooks I suppose, but doing that to a celebrity guest star would be pretty surprising. On that note, we’ll start the suspect list off with Noseworthy. His name is pretty memorable so you won’t be forgetting him. He’s a disgruntled guy who manages to fields for the cooks. Unfortunately he has a habit of trying to scare off the guests and always brings up the ghosts. The guy was fired but still lives on the land to prove that he can. His motive is clear and the guy is pretty suspicious. Keep an eye out for this guy.

Then you have the very mean cook who is always throwing knives around. She’s rather obnoxious which is a pretty good reason to be the crook already. I have to mention here that from all of the comedy gags in this film hers was the only one that I thought fell flat. It’s not a very funny subplot with her running around making threats all the time. She comes off as mainly a time filler who doesn’t actually contribute to anything that is happening on screen. Without her the film’s pacing would only get better. Then we have the real estate agent. Naturally he wants to buy the place now that it’s pretty cheap. Pretty convenient timing eh? This kind of character seems to show up in just about every Scooby Doo film, but his presence is appreciated nonetheless. He’s also a fun character to be honest and keeps everyone honest. You need a selfish character like this one to provide a nice contrast to everyone else.

There’s also a big fan of the uncle’s who is also one of the biggest writers out there. He wrote a book about Fred’s ancestor who used to be a great war hero during the Revolutionary war. He has built his life around the guy’s reputation and has a lot to lose if any scandals got out. Maybe he needs the place closed down to save his legacy. The whole reputation business is a big subplot here although it’s one that is almost comical to an extent. So, this ancestor was a double agent who was working for America against the British. This is public knowledge. However, the heroes find a book that suggests he was feeding the enemies intel about Washington and his troops. Now, one assumption might be that he was actually working for the British all along, but I like to think that your first thought would simply be that he was keeping up the act and it was false intel. Why suddenly believe that he was turned all along? It leads to some twists and drama of course, but I think the heroes should have had more confidence in him.

The Mystery Gang is basically the same as always. This time around Velma and Daphne don’t get a whole lot to do since this is Fred’s movie. Shaggy and Scooby have a large role in all of the films regardless of who the focus is on so often times out of the main 5, 2 are left out. Daphne and Velma do good in the scenes that they’re in which is good. Fred’s the standout here as he does his best to keep the villains down while saving the food industry. Shaggy and Scooby also have some pretty meta moments like when they admit that they often pretend to be scared so they can score some grub. Depending how seriously you take this quote it has a lot of serious implications. Well, I suppose that’s why they say it’s always good to have these two in your corner. Scooby still comes across as very petty next to Shaggy though. He’s constantly stealing food from the poor guy even when Shaggy is always careful to share the food equally.

We’ve also got some cats running around who are fun enough. I don’t ultimately think they had much of a purpose being here, but at least Scooby isn’t the only animal running around now right? From the two celebrities, the best one was probably the heroine. She learned self defense and many forms of combat as a hobby which lets her help the team out when the ghost shows up. When you consider the fact that she can fight, you’ll probably just start to wonder why they’re running at all. Surely the group can handle one ghost right? Meanwhile the uncle bakes some mean cookies so that’s something to be admired. I could go for a few homemade chocolate chip cookies myself to be honest.

Overall, The film is pretty fun. The pacing is solid and the adventure goes by very quickly. Aside from the old lady the humor was on point. The characters don’t come across as overly annoying or anything like that. If there was anything else that was a little weak for the film it would be the ghost. It probably has one of the worst designs for a villain that we’ve seen in Scooby Doo. It’s played a little more for laughs than usual and he could have looked a whole lot more intimidating. It is what it is I suppose, but giving the heroes someone to really fear would have gone a long way.

Overall 7/10

The Burning Hills Review

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It’s time to look at an old Wild West film. This is the kind of adventure where the cops are long gone so it’s all up to one hero to save the day. Most modern films like this one can get a little tricky since it easily can become a very mean spirited affair. You see the villains murder a bunch of people and then the lead does the same to them. The films are meant for you to root for this kind of revenge since the villains need to get what’s coming to them, but it just ends up being a vicious cycle. That’s why these films were so much better back in the old days since the encounters didn’t even have to be violent or anything like that. It was just a classic Cops and Robbers game. As such, this film isn’t all that bad, although I still can’t say that it was very good either.

The film starts off with a guy doing some farm work. He’s been warned repeatedly that there are some bad people in the neighborhood who want him to get out. Our confident lead is confident that they won’t hurt him and to prove his point leaves his gun behind. The villains murder him and move on back to town. That’s when Trace walks in and sees what has happened. He vows revenge on the hooligans, but quickly learns that this may be too difficult a task. He is badly outnumbered and gets injured quite a lot. What can he do?

Considering that the town is basically filled with villains there really isn’t much that Trace can do. These old westerns are always a little interesting with all of the unspoken rules going around. Everybody has a gun, but nobody dares take the first shot since the quick draw may be a little too good on the opponent’s side. As a result there are a lot of staredowns and subtle threats. I’ll give Trace some props for being a fairly good shot. That being said, how did the villain not die when he was plugged twice? In a situation like that, this is exactly why you have to fire off multiple shots to make sure that they actually landed. Otherwise you have this kind of issue where the villain comes back for more. Trace was also doing well in that room so he probably could have picked off more of them 1 at a time. Eventually he would run out of bullets or they would get wise to the plan, but it would definitely thin out the ranks.

As it is, he does take an awful long time actually getting to the army base. He has to take frequent breaks and as I mentioned he does spend a great deal of the film being injured. Fortunately for him a girl named Maria is around. She tends to his wounds and decides to aid in his quest since her father was murdered by this guys a long time ago. It is quite personal for her now as you can probably imagine. She does a good job of sticking up for herself throughout the movie and even takes out a gun at one point. Unfortunately she did miss her shot, but the attempt is the important thing. Unfortunately we do get a very forced romance between her and Trace. You could probably feel that romance coming from a mile away. The romance could have been worse of course, but it just could have not been around as well and that would have been even better.

Aside from the main 2, another solid character was the head of the tracking squad. He seemed like a pretty reasonable character. While he is still a villain and lets the others do what they want for the most part, at least he doesn’t actively enjoy the murders like the others. He also doesn’t randomly try to destroy non targets as well. Naturally things don’t work out too well for him. The Indian tracker who was forced to help was also a fun character. He did his job, but at the end of the day he certainly do anything more than that and at the soonest opportunity he was ready to go back into town and mock the villains.

One custom that I’m glad was stopped was branding the horses. I don’t care f the characters believed themselves to be heroes or villains, the branding process seemed rather painful. It’s definitely not something that should have been done and while it may be hard to identify your horse otherwise, you gotta go for a different approach. The film did a good job of making sure most of the horses got away although one injured its leg which was unfortunate. Lets just keep the horses out of these films, they didn’t deserve to get mixed up in a war like this.

Overall, The film plays out this plot by the books. You can probably imagine how it’ll all go down, but it does a fair job of executing this story line. If the villains had been a little better that probably would have helped the movie out. As it stands, Maria’s family was also annoying as how they cowered whenever the villains would show up. There comes a time where you gotta stand up for yourself and these side characters could never quite get that. If you like these old westerns then you should check this film out. It’s fairly interesting.

Overall 5/10

The Steel Lady Review

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The Steel Lady is one of those films where the plot could be just about anything. You can interpret the title in many different ways, the optimal one being a literal translation that could work like a Supergirl film. This isn’t exactly how it all ends up going down but it is a pretty fun retro film. It’s not great and there is a lot of plot has to be found but I will give it some props for throwing in a good fight.

The film starts with the main characters flying around in hopes of finding oil. Unfortunately they are using a really cheap plane in response to budget cuts and as a result they end up crashing in the desert. The nearest town is many miles away and the heroes certainly don’t have enough rations to survive that. Fortunately they find a tank that had been buried and decide to make a gamble. They’ll use the last of their water to fuel the tank and ride the whole way. One of the guys doesn’t like this plan but he is outvoted. Can the heroes make their way to the final in spite of the bandits?

The heroes are definitely lucky. That will be your takeaway as you finish the film. They make a multitude of mistakes throughout and have to rely on the kindness of strangers as well as general incompetence from the villains. Before I even get to that I should quickly discuss how the main team is already rather fractured. There are 4 main characters. One of them is a teen mechanic who is pretty good at cobbling things together. He is pretty reasonable except for the fact that he fell asleep at the job and blew their first chance at being rescued. If he had stayed up then the whole film may have been averted right from the start. He ultimately does help make up for it with his radio and by starting up the tank, but that was a pretty big mistake.

Then you’ve got the leader of the crew who is the tactician. He is the one who comes up with the plans and alternatives while the others sign off on it. He doesn’t take betrayal well and is ready to fight to defend himself. He is the best character here. Then you’ve got the drunk guy who may as well be an antagonist. He puts everyone at risk for some money and just doesn’t care what befalls the rest of the crew compared to him. Naturally this is all building up to a big redemption arc at the end but you just have to wonder if it is simply too late. It’s just hard to like this guy. At least he did have personality though. The final guy is basically just along for the ride and never actually does anything.

There isn’t much scenery to look at of course since the heroes are in the desert the whole time so get used to the sand. It’s hot out there but someone has got to trudge through right? The writing is pretty solid aside from the heroes getting lucky so often. It’s a classic script filled with a lot of verbal shots from all sides. The banter is half the fun here with the other half being the unique plot. Being out of water and supplies isn’t necessarily something new, but it’s not a plot that I’ve seen in action all that much. While the main characters may seem a little ruthless with how they barge into the camp and get ready for a fight, but being prepared is a bare necessity in this neck of the woods.

Back to how lucky the heroes are though, the camp that they bust into is naturally owned by bandits. The bandits then invite them in for a party and the heroes can’t refuse. So, the villains’ plan is to search for the jewels while the heroes sleep. After that they’ll send the heroes off to fight a different tribe while they get away scott free. Terrible plan, but why didn’t they just shoot the heroes? It was absolutely an option that they could have gone for at any time. Once the main characters were out of the tank a quick bullet would have finished them. The heroes went straight into the heart of the enemy camp so there is no way they should have left it alive. Throw in the fact that the heroes were naive enough to actually fall asleep and you have a losing combo.

Even after that the villains manage to surround the heroes. By this point the tank is nearly out of ammo, but more importantly the heroes are out of water. All the villains have to do is watch from afar and they’ve got the match. The problem is that they forget to keep watch so the heroes run in and murder the sentry while also stealing his water. The villains basically helped the heroes out at this point and should feel ashamed. There is also another occasion where a villain gets in the tank and gets to go 1 v 1 against a guy with a broken leg. He still decides to retreat so I can’t imagine how weak these antagonists must be.

Overall, The Steel Lady is a fun film even if the writing doesn’t usually hold up when you think about it. It’s a good movie to look at and wonder how you could have done a better job of it than the heroes. You don’t want to get overconfident of course but it just wouldn’t be that hard with how many mistakes they make. If you want to see an old school survival story about the heroes roughing it in tough terrain then this is the film for you. At the end of the day it’s supposed to be more of an inspirational story and it naturally wouldn’t have had that effect if the villains were clobbering them the whole time.

Overall 7/10

My Hero Academia: The Two Heroes Review

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It’s time to look at the new Hero Academy film! With the franchise growing more and more popular it’s about time we got a full length film. The last few big films for the various Shonen titles like DBZ and Naruto have been great so I was confident that this one would be no exception. It definitely is a great film and continues the show well. While the heroes are still limited a bit by their own decisions, they at least help by the end and show the world that sometimes you have to step up. Once they get their hero licenses then it will be even easier for them.

The film starts off with Deku and All Might heading over to America. They were invited by Melissa, genius inventor, to go say hi to David who used to be All Might’s partner. The two of them drifted apart over the years as All Might wanted to save people with his abilities while David wanted to retreat to his lab. Surprisingly David seems happy to see All Might and I’m glad the film didn’t go the drama route there. Most of Deku’s classmates have also decided to tag along for fun so Deku has to be careful that they don’t figure out his connection to All Might. The reunion is cut short though when villains attack the tower and take hostages. None of the pros can make a move so it’s up to the kids. The problem is that they don’t have their hero licenses so according to the regulations they have to ignore the terrorists. Can the heroes still save the day?

Naturally it makes sense that in a world where 70-80% of the population have super powers there would be rules to restrict people from using their abilities at random. If everyone decided to play hero then there would be no point to the hero schools and the government would lose money. At the same time, you gotta realize that if someone’s in trouble in front of you then it’s time to act. I have little doubt that most main characters would reach this conclusion like Ichigo, Naruto, etc. The problem with Deku is he doesn’t really learn that lesson. In fact, the manga goes out of its way to teach him the reverse of it. There were several occasions where Deku stepped in to help out, but then he was rebuked by the adults for saving lives. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds. Sadly the words have stuck and since then Deku has started doing his best to follow the rules even if it means abandoning those in need. It’s a rather disappointing look for him in season 3, this movie, and be prepared for season 4 where he makes his biggest mistake yet.

While I’m not saying that the rules shouldn’t apply to Deku, I’m saying that he shouldn’t care. You’ve always gotta make some tough choices on whether to follow the rules or not. The fact of the matter is that some rules and laws are simply bad and immoral. Others are seemingly harmless but depending on the circumstance they provide no benefit. This is one of those times. The rule makes sense, but must be ignored when people are in danger. The idea that these heroes are all around and simply don’t want to make a move because they can’t attack villains is terrible. Fortunately Bakugou and Todoroki completely ignore this once the fighting starts.

That’s enough on the Deku part. He does good when he’s in a fight at least although he is heavily nerfed at different points to ensure that the film doesn’t end too quickly. It’s still a cool concept to be completely overpowered next to the rest of the case although the series rarely delves into that. Deku is a little out of character here with how easily he gets flustered and resorts to his pre arc personality, but he’s not bad either. He’s better than some of the other students. It’s probably no surprise here that Bakugo is the best character. He sees someone he doesn’t like and an attack is already underway. He won’t hesitate to make the hero call and his abilities are definitely really useful in a battle. While it will be hard for him to keep up with some of the other characters since his abilities can only improve so much, he won’t back down from a fight.

Next up Todoroki is also pretty solid here. As always he is another one of the characters who thinks that fighting the villains is the right move. What puts him slightly under Bakugo would be the fact that he is more likely to listen to the others and not break the rules. His abilities are definitely quite solid though and they work a lot like Gaara’s. His tag team fight with Bakugo is definitely one of the better fights in the movie. It’s very fast paced and the more battles the better.

The other classmates range from bad to just being around. I won’t really talk about the ones who were stuck at the hotel. Ochako is still too nervous throughout. She’s got a ways to go if she wants to be a pro her. Mineta and Kaminari look pretty bad here as they are ineffective in combat and aren’t even fighting for the right reasons. Kirishima and Jiro are all right, but don’t do much. Kirishima’s abilities are definitely quite useful though so the film makes sure to keep him away from the action. Can’t have too many heroes outshadowing the villains right?

Now we get to the bad characters Iida and Yaoyorozu don’t look good here at all. As always they really like to listen to the rules even if it means letting everyone die. They’ve gone pretty far off the deep end. Iida is beyond redemption in the franchise and while Yaoyorozu isn’t quite as bad since she doesn’t try to get in the heroes’ way, she’s not much better. The two of them just don’t realize what it means to be a true hero and until they learn that lesson it is going to be hard for them to move up the ranks. They aren’t particularly helpful in the fight either as Iida forgot how to do basic maintenance on his tech and Yaoyorozu’s abilities are simply too defensive.

As for the pros, All Might is really the only one who gets to do much here. As always he is the strongest by a long shot and it’s easy to see why he is the symbol of peace. In the flashback his design looked quite a bit different. Sort of like the overconfident athlete kind of character which works pretty well. He was always earnest and the overconfident appearance was simply his look, not his personality. It’s always nice to see him from back in the day although I don’t imagine he got a lot of practice in since the villains never seem to be in the same league as him. In the present he is naturally a lot weaker than he used to be. The film does a good job of keeping him out of the fight through the hostages since it doesn’t matter how strong you are if humans get in the way. Once the hostages are safe he is finally able to let loose against the villain.

The final fight delivers as you could probably have guessed. Seeing All Might and Deku team up was a lot of fun. The other students also got to help and in a way that wasn’t cheesy. (Invisible Rasengan..) They were able to help clear the field for the two heroes while being aware of their limitations. The glove that Melissa gave Deku was also a nice way to see Deku go all out a little more than usual. Having such a gadget is definitely great and while it did shatter, it would be cool to see something similar be implemented in the manga at some point. This final fight had quite a few phases and climaxes so it certainly wasn’t rushed and was even a tad bit longer than I thought it would be. That is certainly a great thing.

I also liked the final boss. He was a metal user who is a lot stronger than he seems. Even before the enhancement he is strong enough to give Deku a reasonable fight. Yes, Deku should have wrecked him, but we’ll assume that his shock simply slowed down his reaction times. The villain had a lot of great dialogue and a cool design. His super form at the end was also pretty neat as it had a bit of a cosmic look to it. All Might definitely had enough of the villains though as he attempts to murder them by blowing up their chopper as he got David to safety. There’s almost no way the villains could have survived that so it was a bit unexpected. I suppose since All Might knew he was going to change soon he figured that he had to wrap up the fight.

It almost goes without saying, but part of what makes the fight so good is the stellar animation. The battles are very flashy with the action moving very quickly. The backgrounds are bright and a lot of nice details are in the film. It’s definitely theater budget. While there are 1-2 scenes where character faces are completely blank without any details, I have to assume that this was a stylistic choice similar to how All Might’s eyes are never shown to make him seem like his game face is always on. That’s always been a pretty cool look. The soundtrack is mostly just tunes from the show although I think we did get 1-2 new themes. The music is pretty sound and complements the film.

As for the two original characters made up for the film, I can’t say that I was a big fan of David. The guy just doesn’t think things through and isn’t the smartest bulb out there. It’s hard to feel any sympathy for him to be honest. As for Melissa, she’s a fun character. She has good inventions and is a useful companion during the film. While she may not have a quirk, she doesn’t tend to panic and helps out whenever she can. You can’t really ask for much more than that.

Naturally I do have to quickly mention Godzilla since part of the marketing for the film kept on showing him. Well, the bad news is that his role is extremely small. His screen time is less than 10 seconds in the entire film. That’s…..pretty disappointing for fans who were looking forward to his appearance. It’s not exactly the Legendairy experience that everyone was looking for, but I guess they weren’t milking his reputation for this film. Heh. I like the roar they used. As a casual Godzilla fan I couldn’t tell you which era the roar was from, but it was definitely retro.

Overall, My Hero Academy The Two Heroes is a pretty fun film. It does a good job of hitting that balance between being an extended episode and feeling like a special adventure. The action scenes are solid and the pacing is really good. While a lot of the students aren’t really ready for these battles and make the wrong calls, they are still just kids so they have plenty of time to improve their game. It was nice to see America for a change along with this high tech island. A film is always a good time to take the characters out of their usual environment. The film also includes a recap at the beginning for people who haven’t seen the anime. It’s pretty well done and includes all of the information that you would need so even if you haven’t watched the show I believe you could watch this and still understand what is happening. You’ll still enjoy it and while you may not get the 100% experience, it’ll still be a great time.

Overall 8/10

The Girl He Left Behind Review

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It’s time to look at an old school war film about a guy who tries to sabotage the army from the inside. Andy is a pretty spoiled main character and while the film tries to give him a character arc, it just doesn’t work. Still, the film is pretty good despite that. You just aren’t rooting for the main character for once.

The film starts off with the lead kicking the game winning field goal. Unfortunately he is broke so his Mom has to give him spending money for when he hangs out with the heroine. It’s a nice gesture and this isn’t a bad thing per say. What makes this a bad set up is that Andy takes advantage of her generosity by being reckless. He breaks the heroine’s car so he has to spend a lot of money to fix it. Everyone has had enough so he is sent off to the army. That’s when the lead decides that he will do everything he can to leave the army by sabotaging his platoon at every corner. Can the army make a man out of this kid or is it too late?

It goes without saying that Andy makes things miserable for everyone. The platoon is naturally expected to keep their barracks clean or their squad leader will get chewed out. Well, the lead decides to leave the guns unlocked and the coats unpressed. This effects the whole squad and the lead just tells everyone to deal with it since he won’t be stopping. He’ll even go and fight with anyone who tries to stop him. Unfortunately he is a pretty good fighter so it’s tough for the average joes to stop him. The lead also goes and steals their money for his own amusement.

Interestingly enough, the film doesn’t really try to make you empathize with the character until the final minutes of the film. He shows no real remorse and doesn’t do anything to make it right to the platoon. So then there is no reason to like the main character at all. Giving this guy a general position? Now that’s just crazy and I feel bad for his underlings. The army just promoted the wrong guy over someone who was likely a lot more qualified.

That’s why the fight scene near the end of the film was probably the best moment in the movie. We finally got to see the main character put in his place. I’m definitely glad about that since an army officer who trains diligently every day the way the commander does should definitely be more than a match for a random cadet. You can’t skip training and still hope to be the best.

Meanwhile you’ll feel bad for the heroine who has to put up with this. She just wants to study hard and retire early. Unfortunately that isn’t really an option with this lead. While she made the right move in breaking up with him early on, she made a mistake in getting back together each time. She should have just left well enough alone and I’m sure she would have been happier.

The rest of the characters are definitely on point. The commander of the main character’s platoon is definitely a lot of fun. You certainly can’t say that he doesn’t have personality. His lawnmower examples were always solid. Then you have the other army commanders who gradually realize that the lead is a real problem. There is a nice sense of unity among these guys.

The script is top notch here, but you would expect nothing less. The characters dish out a lot of witty one liners. The voice acting for the characters is pretty solid as they all tend to sound sarcastic at different points. While Andy is definitely a bad character, his confidence does lead to a lot of nice comebacks. He definitely isn’t afraid of throwing a little sarcasm at everyone around him. I suppose if you are going to play the role of the villain it is almost a necessity. I do hope he was forced to give the money back to his teammates at some point down the line though. You just can’t have someone like that as a commander otherwise. The ending is definitely the weakest part of the film. There’s just no way Andy should have been allowed to stick around the way that he did.

Overall, While the main character definitely goes a little too far with how immature he is, it doesn’t take away from the film’s solid writing and pacing. It’s a fun enough story and it definitely does show the army as being a lot nicer than you would see in other films. The lead wouldn’t have gotten away with nearly as much in a different movie. If you haven’t seen any of these classic army comedies before then I would definitely recommend checking it out. It’s a nice all around film. Some parts haven’t aged as well as others, but that’ll make it a very authentic retro film.

Overall 7/10

Lisa Review

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It’s time to watch one of the gutter films. These are unique in the sense that it takes effort to churn out a film this terrible. Of course, you can probably guess how bad it will be as soon as you read the plot synopsis so at least the film wasn’t being deceptive about its story. With nothing going for it, Lisa was in a tough situation from the start.

The film starts off with some of the most stretched out credits I’ve seen in a long time. Usually if the credits go on this long it means that the film is stalling for time and trying to get out of playing the actual feature. It’s like a bunch of warning bells since most quality films skim through the credits or at least give you some fun backgrounds and music to distract from how monotonous it is. We also get our first look at the villain murdering someone.

Then we cut to the main character. Lisa is tired of being a kid and wants to get into some real trouble for a change. She has decided to be a stalker who collects as many names and addresses as possible. Unfortunately she isn’t a very smart stalker and doesn’t see how this could possibly backfire. It definitely paints her in a really bad light. Especially since she lives in a bit of a seedy area and should at least be aware of the news. She ends up stalking the main villain which ideally leads to them matching wits as he tries to figure out who she is from the prank calls while she keeps phoning without any real goals.

I say ideally because nothing of the sort happens. The villain isn’t smart enough to figure it out and Lisa isn’t smart enough to keep her identity to herself. She tells him her name and where to find her. Of course she uses her mother as the scape goat instead of herself. That leads to the climax where they have to fight off this guy and the whole time you’re just hoping that Lisa gets grounded for this.

The film does its best to make Lisa unlikable from the start. She comes off as an ingrate and is always trying to wreck everyone’s day. Her friend’s family was trying to have a nice vacation until she had to come and ruin it. Then she keeps trying to remind the mother of her past and uses it as ammo against her. Definitely a very petty person and without any common sense to guide her Lisa basically plays the role of antagonist as well. I can’t stress enough how bad it makes her look to try and set her mother up with some random guy. If this were a rom-com it would turn out all right as the guy would turn out to be perfect, but life certainly isn’t quite that clean and tidy.

There’s not a whole lot to say about this film since the cast is super small and the plot is so basic. There are no likable characters here so you can’t root for anyone. The Mother is the only reasonable character here and even then she isn’t given a lot to do since Lisa drags her down the whole time. She at least tries to fight at the end while Lisa mainly panics. If the film could have less crying and more planning in the climax that could have at least helped the film end on more of a high note. As it stands, this film just ticks all the boxes of a usual thriller without trying to do something about it. It’s dark and realistic but with no heart or any reason to watch. If you want a similar story you can simply turn on the news which is usually what you would try to avoid.

Overall, Lisa is just another installment in a long line of terrible films that try to sully the cinematic experience. I’d recommend staying far away from this film and watching something with more quality like Jingle All The Way. You’ll immediately notice the big jump in quality when it comes to the writing and really every other section as well. There’s just nothing that Lisa does right.

Overall 0/10

Rodan Review

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It’s time to look at one of the original giant monster films. Many believe that Godzilla is really what kicked off the Kaiju boom, but you have to consider the mass market appeal that Rodan brought with him. Rodan isn’t your average giant monster, he is one that can fly. In fact, if we took this version of Rodan unnerfed and put him up against the other giant monsters, he would crush them. Not even Godzilla would last long against such a threat. Rodan helped audiences finally take giant monsters seriously and still works very well as both a thriller and a Kaiju film. While the film does drop off quite a bit at the end, it’s not enough to negate the rest of the experience.

The film starts off with a group of miners heading to the caves. Unfortunately they are brutally murdered by a bunch of giant worms. The humans go for backup but none of their guns are all that effective. Fortunately that’s when Rodan shows up to eat all of the worms and claim dominion over the skies. Any jets that stay in the air are promptly destroyed. The humans realize that the only way to stop Rodan is to throw him into the volcano, but this task gets a little more dangerous once there are 2 Rodans on the field. What can they possibly do?

The short answer is nothing. There’s no way that the ending even could happen. What the film should have done was have the humans acknowledge that they can’t hope to stop Rodan. This would have been the signal for a very emotional scene to start as the humans team up to create a giant paper mache version of Rodan that they sail off to an uninhabited island. The Rodans would follow it and leave humanity alone for a little while. Even I may have teared up a little bit at such a spectacle. As it stands, the ending is emotional but in a sad way. I was rooting for Rodan the whole time and was looking forward to seeing him wipe out humanity. For that not to happen is simply tragic.

Enough dwelling on the ending though. I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t quite horrible enough to drag the film down too much. I have to give credit to the special effects here as they were handled a lot better than expected. I dare say that it even beats most of the modern films when it comes to depicting Rodan’s speed. In this version you actually can believe that he flies at super sonic speeds since we see him outmaneuvering a jet. Rodan may not have a fancy laser to shoot out, but with moves like that he doesn’t even need one! I also liked the size difference between Rodan and the worms. Since we already saw how massive the worms looked to the humans, it’s clear that Rodan is a colossal beast.

As for the humans…there’s not much to say about them. They’re around of course, but they don’t really contribute much to the story. The dub has fun with them as everyone gets in a few good one liners. It’s hard to tell if you’re supposed to take the characters seriously or not. On one hand, it’s not as if they’re making obviously bad decisions or anything like that, but on the other hand…they just don’t seem as invested into the situation as you would possibly expect. After all, having a giant monster around destroying everything is kind of a big deal right? I didn’t dislike the humans, but as with most of the old monster films I found them to be a tad forgettable. Granted, it’s probably because I’m focused on the monsters.

I will say that the writing was solid. These films definitely take place back in an era where scripts were actually handled with care and you didn’t have to cringe at every other line. The pacing of the film is good as well and it manages to cover quite a lot in a short amount of time. There’s not much that the film could have done to be much better in these areas as it was just solid. I can only imagine how impressive this movie must have looked back in the 50s. Whether you are currently a big Kaiju fan or just getting into the genre, this is a movie that I can definitely recommend checking out purely on a technical level in addition to being a monster film.

Overall, Rodan is a fun film. He’s always been a solid monster, but one who is probably a little over matched against the others. He’s simply too fast and strong so he tends to get nerfed quite heavily. I’m hoping that the upcoming American film has a good idea of how to use him, but I am going to be entering that film with a few reservations on the power levels department. No worries, it’s still going to be film of the year, but with all of these Kaiju running around I hope that corporate knows what they are doing. Still…when do they not?

Overall 7/10