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Creed Review

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I saw this film quite a while ago when it first came out so this review has been on the shelf for a while. Well, no longer! It’s time to discuss this film, what it did right and what it did wrong. I can say now though that Creed did live up to my expectations for the most part. It’s a fun film and I liked some of the modern twists that the film added to the franchise. Conversely, there were some modernizations that didn’t turn out so good. Rocky lived up to the hype as being the best character in the film by far and it’s good to see him get his props.

To think…I started this review in November, but it was placed on the backlog for a very long time. That’s how it goes I suppose, but let’s wrap this up. Adonis has had a troubled past and is no stranger to being in fights. He is eventually adopted and treated to a very luxurious life. He even gets a nice financial job with a lot of money, but it’s not enough for the guy. Adonis wants to fight so he quits his job and gambles away his car on a match where he is soundly defeated. The main character was forced to move into a very small apartment building, but also decides to meet up with Rocky. Rocky is reluctant to train the kid, but eventually relents and now Adonis must work to become the strongest fighter of all time!

Well, let’s talk about one of the modernized techniques that I did like a lot. Whenever a fighter would walk into the ring, the screen would quickly freeze and show off the guy’s rankings. It was like a little power level system that you would expect to see in a Shonen Jump crossover film or something like that. It was definitely a lot of fun and I hope that they keep this in for the sequel. It’s the little effects like this that can really amp a film up.

Unfortunately, another effect of modernization is that there is definitely more language to be found here than in the original. It can definitely get a little tired. The boxing matches are solid as you would expect. They’re not as good as the original Rocky films, but few fights are right? They can be a little violent with one random blood scene, but they’re still relatively tame when compared to the average fight. Certainly nothing that should frighten you if you’ve seen any action film recently. Since this is boxing, there are rules to the fights, which helps a lot. The fights feel real and have no cheap shots.

My other big complaint with the film would certainly be the romance. It’s a textbook example of how you should not do a romance plot. It makes both characters look rather bad. Adonis hears some music coming from a downstairs apartment so he goes there to tell the occupant to keep it down. Turns out that the occupant is a girl who appears to either be rude or simply doesn’t realize that her music is super loud. Turns out that it’s partially the latter, but he has no way of knowing that. Doesn’t matter though since looks apparently do and he asks her out on a pseudo date almost immediately. He claims that it’s not a date and that they’re just friends, but I don’t think either one of them bought that for an instant. It’s a sad stereotype. After all, there are probably some guys and gals who just want to be friends, but you can never trust anyone who says that because 90% of the time, there are ulterior motives. Adonis clearly did not want to be friends from the get go even though he acted as if he was. They knew each other for a few minutes before effectively going out and then they show no restraint as we have some wince worthy romance scenes later on. You never saw this stuff in the original Rocky scenes!

Still, romance aside, this was a good film. I still enjoyed it as I was watching and I could see it again easily enough so I’d say that it deserves to be in the positive side of the scale. As mentioned earlier, Rocky’s easily the best character in the film. The film did a good job of keeping his character true to himself and making Rocky defeat all of the other characters in verbal battles. I’m fine with his decision not to fix himself either since when I’m old, I won’t bother pulling out all the stops. Why prolong the inevitable if you’re super duper old? Of course, I’m sure our treatment plans will be better by then. If they are and there’s a high success rate, then I’ll go for it. If not, I’ll upload a final blog post about the end of my era.

Adonis has some good qualities, but he was ultimately lacking as a character for me. Obviously, the romance played a large role in this. Aside from that, I just felt that he was a little unrealistic in how extreme he took his love for fighting. Ditching his super high paying job and mansion for a broken down apartment in a sketchy neighborhood so that he could fight a little? A love for fighting is great and I’m glad that he bet the car away since it showed some confidence, but he definitely did not need to quit his job. At least let them fire you if you show up with a lot of scrapes! Still, aside from the constant drama with Bianca, he was fine I suppose. In the next film, I hope they focus on his love for fighting and the drama can take a backseat.

Bianca is about on par with Adonis, I’m not really a fan of hers either. Obviously she’s just too easy and ignoring the romance plot, it was a little rude to have the noise so loud. A less charitable neighbor could have filed some big complaints and gotten her into a lot of trouble. I’m also wondering if her hearing loss is going to be a big plot point in future films. Hopefully not though. She’s supportive at least. Conrad was the main villain and while they try to make him seem like a nice guy at the end…he seems pretty sketchy. There’s a reason why he’s going to jail after all, but at least he got to have one last fight.

The ending of the film definitely isn’t very satisfying, but it’s how it goes I suppose. Even real boxing battles have anticlimactic endings like Floyd Money Mayweather and Manny. While I may not have been the biggest fan of this film, it was still a good one even if it sounded like there were more negatives than positive. The training scenes were a little more soulless than the original Rocky’s, but that’s because newer films can rarely grab that S rank soundtrack to help push things along. This one borrowed a tune or two, but for the most part it was definitely a step below in that regards. It was cool reliving the Rocky vs Creed fight on the big screen at the beginning of the movie of course and we even got an ESPN homage on the IPad. Those moments were definitely a blast and we also got to see that Rocky’s restaurant is still doing well.

Overall, If you enjoyed the Rocky films, then I think that you will like Creed. It’s essentially a modern take on the franchise and has a lot of good fights. More drama than you may have expected, but that’s how it goes. The main way that the sequel can improve upon this one is with a better main cast and that could easily be achieved by introducing the President of the USA…as a fighter. That would be a very ambitious plot, but it can maybe be done. Give us a likable President like in Airforce One and we’ve got ourselves a solid sequel!

Overall 6/10

The Polar Express Review

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THIS IS THE POLAR EXPRESS!!!!! When the conductor yelled that, it was an intense scene. It’ll remind you of a time when someone may have said that you’re homemade oven baked french fries tasted like McDonald’s so you’d say “What…THIS IS THE HOME COOKED DINNER I MADE!” I dunno, I just got that vibe and it was a pretty epic quote. I can’t say that the film is very epic though. It’s a nice Christmas story, but that’s about all that I can say for it right now. It definitely needed some work in different areas and doesn’t fully live up to its hype, but it feels good to see a quality Christmas film.

I didn’t actually realize this while watching the film, but the main character’s name was actually never said? That’s pretty surreal if you ask me. Well…it’s not like he was a likable character anyway so I can get around that. One day, the kid goes outside so he can catch Santa Clause in the act of giving away presents, but a train pulls into his backyard. The conductor tells him to climb aboard and the main character reluctantly obliges this request. Once aboard, he meets the other kids, but the main character can’t stay out of trouble. He drops a girl’s train ticket out the window so now he must try to find it as the train gets closer and closer to the North Pole. Time to meet Santa!

As you can already guess, I did not like the main character. He was constantly double thinking the other kids and was always way too hesitant. Who would leave their warm house on Christmas Eve in the dead of night to go aboard a mysterious train? I would have still had some respect for the kid if he had gone in right away, but he waited until after the train was leaving to jump on. These moments of hesitation just make him look bad. The main character also loses the girl’s ticket in rather clumsy fashion. How hard can it be to hold on to a ticket?

The film likes to be very mysterious so you can decide on whether things really happened or if they were a dream. In one scene, the main character sees the conductor take the girl to the top of the train where they braved the elements and walked all the way over to the front area where she took charge of the controls. The main character tried to follow them, but it was a long journey and he got to go Skiing. I’m pretty sure that he just fell in the snow and fainted before waking up and quickly walking over to the front. Still, I wonder if he had started making the journey at all and maybe this was all just an elaborate dream…nahhhh. I still would never say that this was a dream, supernatural elements are fun after all.

The main girl was all right so she helped to cover for the main character. She believed in having a good time and going with the flow. Unlike the main character, who forgot about the kid who jumped aboard and then did not want to take the risk of giving him any hot cocoa, the girl was always ready to help. Unfortunately, I didn’t like the shy kid who came aboard. Jumping on the train was already dicey, but then deciding to hide by himself in the final car….I don’t know about that. Seemed like a strange move and there weren’t even any token bullies that were around to keep him away. There was the smart kid who loved to talk and talk and talk, but the guy was never mean spirited. If anything, it was impressive to see him keep up with the main characters. Almost a little too impressive, but I’ll let it slide.

There aren’t a whole lot of Christmas songs to be found here, but a few did pop up before the film ended and those tunes were good. The soundtrack was good enough considering that I didn’t have huge hopes for it and the quick Hot Chocolate dance wasn’t bad either. It was neat to see how you can throw a Hot Chocolate in such a way so that it would not spill. Now that’s what I call true Skillz!

The animation still isn’t my thing. It sort of reminds me of those “Animate yourself” ads that played a while back before the hand drawn versions replaced them. It doesn’t feel very high budget even though it probably did cost a bit for the transition. I think American animation can be good, but I prefer more of a traditional approach like Justice League or something or that nature. It allows for more streamlined action scenes. For example, jumping on the train and getting across the mountains would be more intense visually using the classic animation strategies. The scenes were still cool though and the animation isn’t bad like some other styles, but this “theater” feel that I get from the film isn’t really a positive this time.

I felt like the film moved on at a fairly quick pace. I never found myself bored, but you definitely need to go into the film remembering that there is barely a plot. Most of the film is just the train ride to the goal and the slight setback of going through a factory first. Nothing really happens by the end so you can go away with an empty feeling, but maybe you’ll walk away with a grin instead. I feel like the film would have been significantly better with older main characters. Yes, not just better, but significantly better. I actually thought up a plot that would have made this film almost unrecognizable in terms of quality.

The main characters could have been business folk who never had time to spend with their kids on Christmas because they would work overtime or they would be catching up on zzzzz’s. So, one day a train rolls into the backyard on Christmas Eve saying that they will learn the true meaning of Christmas, and a large check of money if the trip was a waste. The business guys and gals would jump at the chance for this and during the ride: bonds would be formed, (Friendzone bonds because the main characters will all already have an attachment or just not be interested in that sort of thing) challenges would be overcome, and lessons would be learned. The dialogue would be much better and the characters would have a chance to be charismatic.

Tom Hanks ended up being the best character here and more adults in the film could have given him some competition if given the chance. Characters are very important and you can always count on that aspect of the film being able to tip the scales when given a chance. We need a Polar Express remake with adults and as long as the writing is on point, you can bet that it will be an improvement.

Overall, The Polar Express is a good film. I don’t really buy into the enormous amounts of hype that the film got back in the day, but it’s a fairly nice adventure. I just wish that the characters could have been more likable as that was the film’s main weakpoint. I wouldn’t have minded an action scene or two as well while I’m on the subject. You can’t go wrong with a quick fight right? I doubt this film is getting a sequel at this point, but if it does…I want Santa Clause to have to debate on whether he should work on Christmas anymore or not. I also want to see the parents ask where the kids went during the night, they must have noticed that something was up after all! (I do like how they dismissed the bell though, it was an epic troll moment. Of course, I could go on and on about the bell. Just when I thought the main character couldn’t get worse…he put the bell in his broken pocket. I just don’t see how you would do such a thing, you would notice that it wasn’t in your pocket immediately right? Noooooooooooo)

Overall 6/10

The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 Review

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Well, I finally got to see the final Hunger Games film a while back (Saw it day 1, but I took my time writing the review) and it met my expectations. Unfortunately, that’s a bad thing in this case. The film is still very slow paced and way too dramatic to the point where you have to wonder what the point of the series is anymore. It had a plot in the first and second film. After that, it’s like we kept seeing the same old things over and over again. I’m definitely not sad to see this series go. Who knows, maybe the upcoming prequel/spinoff will end up beating this one.

Katniss is still mad at President Snow for being a mean person and trying to enslave the districts. She’s helping the uprising take over his city to restore law and order to the world. It’ll be tough though because his military might is very great and he has already brainwashed one of Katniss’ friends. It’s a bleak path to victory and just about everything that is worth fighting for is already tarnished, but Katniss must press on for victory and for glory!

Where to start with this film right? For starters, the film still isn’t any fun. It’s very bleak and it’s very overly dramatic. The characters are constantly whining and yelling in despair about how bleak everything is. I don’t think the sun really rises until the very last scenes of the film. Before that, it’s pretty much always cloudy with a gloomy backdrop. The characters are constantly injured or on the brink of tears so they can’t have any good discussions without wondering about moral boundaries. Katniss doesn’t want the heroes to become as bad as the villains, but nobody seems to be on her side with this. They’ll take Snow down however they can. No matter how many casualties and injuries occur in the process!

Katniss is also still a very unlikable character. Her only good plan in the film is when she says that she’ll escape on her own to take down Snow. The problem is that she doesn’t actually go through with it and waits until a few more members die to just take command of the operation for everyone. At that point she goes, but it dampens any epic impact that she could have had. At the end, she realizes the truth about one of the villains and quickly makes a bold move. At this point, her options were limited, but perhaps not voting to put the Hunger Games into place once more would have changed things a bit although it would have made getting the fatality a little more difficult. Essentially, it was a classic lose-lose situation, which you’ll see a lot of in these films.

I really did not like Peeta. Once he was brainwashed, that was the end for him. He could never be likable again as he just served to up the drama in the films. Sure, Snow had a lot of time to break him, but it doesn’t mean that I have to actually end up liking Peeta in the end. As far as I’m concerned, he’s just not my kind of character nor will he ever be. The film would have been better off without him. Likewise, his rival, Gale, was no better. Gale thinks that the ends justify the means so he’s already portrayed as a bit of a bad guy. He likes Katniss and isn’t afraid to remind the audience of that quite a few times, but you knew that he was doomed from the start. Of course, I was hoping that both characters would be doomed.

Most of the other characters are non factors here. Naturally, we do have the leader of the resistance. She wants to be the leader of the new world and she claims to have the people’s best interests at heart. Hopefully that’s true…but it seems a little far fetched. It’s a shame since she’s actually a decent character for the most part. Someone who actually stands up to Snow? That’s what we’ve needed all these years although the fake crying was a bit much. I liked the field commander who actually trusted Katniss and decided to defy the government. I’ll give him some props there.

Near the end, we’re reminded again why I don’t care for Katniss as a character. When she arrives home, the “hero” decides to start throwing things at her cat in a rage not unlike those seen on For Glory in the recent Super Smash bros game. It’s a terrible scene and I wish that the cat had simply left for greener passions. After something like that, I don’t think Katniss is worthy to be the owner, but we ahve to wonder whether she ever was. It’s a whole host of problems that plagued Katniss from start to finish, but scenes like this did not help.

All right, what did the film do right? Well, there was certainly a lot more action than in the first film. We had some machine guns, grenades, and even a large amount of tar water that attacked the heroes from all sides. It’s not much, but it’s something. The film’s certainly not lacking in action the same way that the previous installment was. Something is typically happening in this film, it’s just stretched out to the point where many scenes don’t have a point.

That was a slim positive, but I really can’t think of many more. I guess there’s a positive in the sense that it could have been worse. The characters could have been worse and the film could have been more dreary. It’s a matter of looking at the film as half full or half empty. No matter how you slice it though, the negatives do outweigh the positives. The random zombies were intriguing here though and the film did try to recreate the Alien scenes from the good ole days of film making. The zombies have no real character and they’re pretty slow, but at least it works as a tense scene. Honestly, it’s probably the film’s best action scene even if that’s not saying a whole lot at this point.

Finally, I have to take another shot at Katniss and her final plan. Her final plan basically involves committing suicide to avoid capture and an untimely fate. Not only does she still manage to mess this up somehow, but it’s not a great plan. I can acknowledge heroes who go on suicide missions to save their friends, but not when they just decide to destroy themselves like in the Ronin film. It’s a very big difference between those two actions. Whatever the outcome, Katniss needed to either think of an escape plan or another way to carry out the plan. Just grabbing the pill is a big cop out and unfortunately an accurate representation of her character.

Overall, This film was an improvement over part 1 as we at least had some action, but it’s not enough to actually make this a good film. It’s just not a fun ride and the series was never fun from start to finish. The films dragged on for as long as possible and I was just waiting for the film to end. The “happy” ending at the end is still pretty lackluster. For starters, the romance between the two characters definitely wasn’t all that good to begin with and the friend zone should have occurred. Instead of being inspiring, the ending just feels rushed and out of the blue. The Hunger Games is truly worthy of the title…overrated.

Overall 2/10

Spectre Review

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I saw this film a while back so this review’s been on the back burner for quite a while at this point. Needless to say, I was not impressed and Spectre is a big drop from Skyfall. It tries to play out like the old James Bond films and that’s a bad thing. Not only is it not long enough for this film to be considered nostalgic like with what Creed and Star Wars are doing (Nostalgia in the sense that it brings back old scenes/plot references to get a rise out of the audience in an epic way) but it just brings up all of the reasons why I never liked the films in the first place. Brace yourselves because things are about to get real.

James Bond is on the hunt for an organization known as Spectre. They’re a worldwide terrorist organization that is bent on committing as many crimes as possible. Bond’s own MI6 is being taken over by a new company that wants to take control of all spy programs across the planet so the agent is on his own. Gee, I hope that the company is on the up and up though. Having complete control over the planet’s surveilance programs is a lot of power is one guy’s hand after all. Bond is so good that he still has a lot of high tech equipment at his side even without the company and he gets close to catching up to Spectre a few times only to be evaded at the last second. He’s going to need his old pal Q if he wants to come out on top!

The film is very long so the plot changes rather dramatically as the film progresses. Let’s just get the negatives out of the way first so we can discuss the characters and the film itself. For starters, the romance and objectification is back in full force for this feature. The opening credits are terrible and show why the James Bond franchise will never be respectable and why it will never be a good one either. The romance plots here are all terrible, forced, and simply unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. A widow who lost her husband about a day or two ago quickly gets over it and decides to move on to Bond. Granted, she didn’t seem to like the guy much and he was a villain, but it’s still not cool. It’s also hard to see her getting out of the place alive since Bond just left her with a phone number for an embassy.

One person is never enough so Bond also goes to the daughter of an old villain, Madeleine. She’s the main heroine of the film and while she tries to act like the tough heroine at all times, it didn’t take her long to get past the friend zone with Bond. The two characters keep on splitting up and getting back together throughout the entire film, which ends up being a plot line that drags on and doesn’t contribute to the film. It also makes the characters make some poor decisions. For example, Madeleine says that she’s had enough of Bond so she walks away to a dark alley during a tense moment where the villains are on the loose. Lo and behold, the villains kidnap her. Who did not see this coming?

There’s also the fact that even the fight scenes aren’t as enjoyable as they used to be. Remember when fight scenes were about slugging it out and just being the last man standing? That’s not how it goes now as the villains immediately go for eye shots, which makes for a long grapple where the villain will either succeed or fail. Instead of being an enjoyable bout, it turns into a fight that’s grimacing to watch. I’ve always been partial to eye shots and just don’t like to see them in my fights. Unfortunately, they tend to occur quite frequently nowadays.

This film is also pretty violent at times like when one villain pulls the eye shot on another. It’s a painfully long scene meant to show us how sinister and evil the villain is..but we already knew that. Everyone in the theater knew that these guys were evil already. We also get a long scene where the main villain drills through James Bond for a while before the agent is finally able to get free. The extra edge factor is not needed. It’s like adding a 6th cheese to a 5 cheese pizza. At that point, it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.

All right, we’ve mostly gone through the main negatives at this point. Now, onto the characters! James Bond is actually very out of character here compared to Craig’s previous roles. Unlike the other Bonds, he was never overly interested in women to the point where he would flirt with everyone. He preferred to be detached from everyone and we only saw his affairs once in a while. Here? Nah, he’s back to being the original Bond. Who needs continuity when you have nostalgia moments for the fans right? Unfortunately, it destroys any chance that he had of being likable and Bond is a terrible main character. It’s good that he decided to leave MI6 once it was getting corrupt, but at the same time, he should have failed in his mission. My suspense for disbelief can only go so far as Bond managed to evade everyone for around a year. (I forgot exactly how long the timeskip was) Bond is a little tougher here than he was in Skyfall (The most embarrassing film of his career) but he still continues to lose to random guys with steroids. What’s the point of mastering hand to hand combat if you’ll get wrecked by any joker with super strength? I don’t fully understand! Ah well, his loss.

Ernst is the main villain and another intellectual whose only gimmick is that he can talk a good game. That’s it. He can’t fight and Ernst is only relevant because he has a large organization to back him up. While strategic villains can be all right sometimes like Light Yagami, most of the time I want the main villain to be able to fight back. Otherwise, it’s hard to take him seriously no matter how much hype the guy gets.

As far as the heroines in James Bond films go, Madeleine is a big improvement. If we ignore the romance parts, then she’s a decent character. She actually knows how to fight and isn’t afraid to use a gun. Madeleine has good reason to be upset with Bond as he gave her father a gun and basically assisted in the guy’s suicide. Certainly a less painful end for the guy since Spectre was going to destroy him, but it still doesn’t change the fact that James gave him the means to an end. Madeleine was too indecisive though and could not make up her mind no matter how great the stakes were.

Q is still a good tech person even if it’s hard to forget the more classic versions of the character. He’s younger and has less respect for Bond, but it’s very hard to respect 007 so I can sympathize. His inventions aren’t bad and Q does help a little during the film. At least he’s a loyal friend so that’s always good. I can respect Q as a character. M is probably my favorite character in the film even if he talks a little too much. He spends most of the climax bragging even though C manages to get the upper hand on him. That’s considering that M had the advantage of surprise. Again, he was too busy bragging to even consider that C might try to tackle him. C has no real fighting experience, but he can still give M a good fight, which probably isn’t a good sign for the old guy. I liked C as a political villain. I always love seeing politics even if it made everyone look bad. The CIA and the FBI aren’t so unintelligent that they would fall for this trap. Seriously, letting someone control their agencies? Hahahahahaha.

As far as the length is concerned, James Bond films are always a little too long so I can’t say that I was surprised. It’s still not a good thing though as the film does tend to drag on from time to time. It’s not as bad as the Hobbit where I would be on the verge of ZZZs though. I’d never really get that tired from James Bond with all of the explosions that were around, but it would have done well to have cut out a good chunk of time if you ask me. It may sound like a stretch, but a good 30-40 minutes could easily be shaved off.

While I was not very impressed with the fight scenes, I still enjoyed the nice car chase scenes. Those are always a lot of fun and it’s why films like Need for Speed and Fast & and the Furious always have potential. With a nice night backdrop to add some hype to the race, you can really never count a race out as being the best part of a film. It certainly was here even if Bond’s car should be a little faster considering that it’s a one of a kind machine that was built by Q.

Still, the film just couldn’t live up to the hype from the trailer. I figured that I wouldn’t like this film, but the trailer still hinted that this could be the best Bond film yet. I like the idea of an evil organization like Spectre and Bond having to face them all. It could have been so epic, but the film just never pulls this off. Even from small things like the organization having to remind us that they’re dealing with human trafficking (Again, we know they’re evil so why the extra details?) or the first action scene taking place in a packed area where the locale isn’t as vibrant and interesting as a city backdrop, the film couldn’t get as hype as it should have been.

Overall, I’m definitely fine with this being the final Bond film in the Craig era. Maybe it’s just time to give the franchise a long break and then we can check on it again in like 20 years or so. That’s definitely not a bad idea if you ask me. Listen to the reviews this time folks and just skip out on this film. If you want a more enjoyable theater experience, then go check out Creed or the new Mission Impossible. Mission Impossible continues to be a better secret agent film series than James Bond and at this point, the gap is so wide that I don’t see this changing in the near or far future. Game over Mr. Bond.

Overall 2/10

Ten Little Indians Review

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I saw the original adaption of the novel a while back and it was pretty good. I’d say that this film was also enjoyable and at about the same level even though it was clearly not as good as the original. Just about anything that this film could do, the older one could do better. I do wonder how a more modern adaption of this film would go, no doubt it would probably not be as good. That being said, I’d love to see an ensemble cast try to tackle this film. We could have Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Chris Pratt, Arnie, Chuck Norris, and whoever else is super popular at the moment. It would be an interesting mix of personalities, which is why ensemble films are typically so fun.

As you may expect, ten people are invited to a mysterious place over on a mountain. The host invited everyone over on false pretenses, but once the ten arrive at the mansion he is nowhere to be seen. Instead they listen to a recording which exposes their previous murders and the characters start to die off one by one in ways that are very similar to how the 10 little Indians went out in a poem. Can they figure out which person among them is actually the nefarious host or are they all doomed to simply fade away into oblivion?

I quickly have to mention one big change from the first film which wasn’t cool. The original adaption had a fisherman who drove everyone to the island. The first adaption ended with him walking up slowly to the mansion while eating a sandwich. It was a humorous way to end the murder thriller and you could tell that this was someone that you didn’t mess with. Even the murderer wanted nothing to do with him. Unfortunately, this version took place on a mountain so there was no boat ride to begin with. A bit of a missed opportunity if you ask me.

As I mentioned earlier, there are other aspects where this film isn’t as good. For starters, we have Mike. He was a decent character in the first film and a music guy who may not have had much of a personality, but it wasn’t a bad one. Here, he’s only interested in romance and just staring at another character who rejects him. It’s a negative change that just doesn’t work for me here. It’s not like most of the characters are that good anyway though. I’m not a fan of any character in particular at this point, but better to be a non character than a bad one right?

This film was slightly modernized though, which wasn’t a good thing. The romance isn’t handled as well as in the first film where it was pretty much nonexistence. Here, the characters are very quick to forget the danger and engage in their romance, but it’s not fitting considering the situation. As such, Ann and Hugh aren’t very likable characters. Hugh is the James Bond kind of guy who talks a good game and even has a gun for most of the film. It’s simply not enough to make him a cool character since this isn’t the time to flirt. Likewise, Ann is just as guilty and makes the situation harder for everyone by being very cryptic about her backstory. Just saying it would have saved the characters some time and the way that she gets scared by everything is a bit much as well.

The actress is all right I suppose, but she doesn’t add much to the story either. She’s probably also the least apologetic about her backstory, which came across as a little drastic. The main characters who were pretty likable where the old folks. It’s not too surprising as they engage in most of the witty banter and try to keep each other from making any hasty moves. The detective also keeps everyone in check as he does have some useful professional experience at his disposal.

Ultimately, it’s pretty intriguing to see all of the characters go down one by one. Granted, you have to suspend your disbelief as the film goes on. Why does nobody think to simply stake out the room where the Indian figures keep disappearing? Even once the culprit is found out…or to be more precise, the fact that the culprit is revealed to be just one person makes it a little harder to swallow. This person shouldn’t be able to move so quickly and evade everyone with such precision. I’m just not sure that I buy that. Of course, you don’t need to buy it to enjoy the film.

Another change from the first film is an extended fight scene where one of the butlers goes into a frenzy and attacks Hugh. It’s pretty interesting as this pretty much came out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the fight scene isn’t that good, but you will be surprised at how many times the fight stops and then starts again. The cheap shots just won’t stop, but there is a winner in the end so that’s good. The other characters (for the most part) talk tough about how they shouldn’t have fought, but Hugh wasn’t exactly given a choice so it’s good that he took the win. The butler then decided to leave the mountain on his own, which was probably one of the worst decisions that he could have made.

I will give the ending props for still coming across as fairly realistic. The plan was sound and I actually wouldn’t call it out for being unrealistic or full of plot hax. When you think about it, this film was thought out fairly well and while some plot hax is inevitable, it was a fun mystery from start to finish with no real cop outs. You just have to choose which character you think is guilty and then go on from there. I always like films like that since you can just make your pick and enjoy the film. If you were right, then it’s time to buy a snack afterwards. Of course, I knew who it was this time since I saw the original, but I imagine that a lot of people will only see one version of the film.

Overall, Ten Little Indians isn’t quite as good as the original adaption. The increased romance, the characters being less likable, and the fight scene actually being sub par kept it from reaching the same status as the original. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a good film, but it’s just not as good. It follows the original quite closely even down to the script aside from these changes so it is still a good movie, but why not watch the original instead right? These classic mystery thrillers are definitely intense and black and white does fit in quite nicely for it. You can tell that this film is retro even though it was a little modernized. I’d be interested to see a 2010 or later remake, but I can tell that it probably wouldn’t be great. Something to think about though and this plot is certainly one that can easily be reused in a completely different context while still being effective. Make it happen Hollywood!

Overall 6/10

House on Haunted Hill Review

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Whenever I see a horror film that is actually quite good, it’s hard to contain my excitement. It’s like going to McDonald’s and the cashier letting you know that they’ve brought back the McPizza. It’s really hard to top that. While this film ends very abruptly and I felt that more could have been done with the story, it ended up being a very nice adventure. The film was fun and also very short so it never got to drag on. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting…the house on Haunted Hill!

A happy family moves into a new house after experiencing some financial trouble. The father found a very good price for a house on an old hill where a graveyard used to be and people have died there every year for the last century. Strange things start to happen. Only one person ever notices these events so the rest of the family don’t believe the tales. Soon, shadows appear at night, noises come from nowhere, and a demon begins to walk around. Is the house haunted?

No worries folks, that’s a plot for another horror movie. This one’s a little more original as an eccentric millionaire decides to invite some people to a mansion to stay the night. If the guests can successfully stay for 24 hours without dying, they shall receive 10000 dollars. That’s no small number and the 5 guests were chosen because they all really need the money. How can they refuse such an offer? One man actually stayed at the mansion once before, but went crazy and nearly died so he is now an alcoholic. Another guest is a lady who is the breadwinner for her family and this would help out a great deal. A psychiatrist, a newspaper person, and your average main character round out the 5. The choice of leaving is taken out of their hands when the mansion is sealed shut by the hired help and the characters prepare for their long night. Annabelle, the wife of the millionaire (Frederick) begins to drop clues for the heroes that her husband plans to murder her..not the ghost that everyone (almost) suspected. Is she telling the truth? She is clearly at odds with Frederick, but both characters talk to each other about the chance for murder.

Naturally, this means that one person must be planning to murder someone. There wouldn’t be a film if it was all fun and games the whole time right? Of course, it could always be the ghosts, the heroes shouldn’t eliminate that possibility before they have dinner. With 10000 dollars at stake, the main characters really have to be ready for just about anything…so they split up as soon as possible.

A lot of strange things happen to the heroes when they get into the house. A chandelier nearly destroys one of them off the bat, but a quick dodge stopped this fate. It’s fun to see the heroes overwhelmed the whole time and the situation grows more and more dire. That being said, after seeing the final twist, you have to wonder about some of these moments. Did the writers know what was going on? Were ghosts really a part of the picture?

Well, to answer the second question, I feel like the answer is a resounding yes. It’s never proven, but I feel like the sudden ending actually helps my case. You are clearly supposed to draw your own conclusions and come to terms with your own ending. We never actually saw the night end after all so did the heroes actually manage to stay alive right up til the end? The drunk claims that they are doomed and while I would take his word with as much salt as my average Super Smash Bros opponent, ghosts just make sense here.

At several points, things happened that can’t really be explained. The first of which being the part where the main guy was knocked on the head by someone…or something when he stepped into a dark room. Sure, it could have been the maid…but that’s more than a little iffy and I don’t buy that. At the very least, the guy would have known who hit him since she’s an old lady and the wound didn’t make sense. Another iffy moment was when the maid appeared in the shadows and seemed to float away, but the main guy did not see her. It was as if she turned invisible in the middle of the room. That’s certainly iffy. Minor things would be the piano playing by itself and the chandelier falling down, but we could attribute those to good timing by the villains I suppose.

In my ending, I’m confident that all of the heroes ended up dying in the mansion. The facts just seem to lead that way for me. That being said, the film isn’t afraid to deal with plot hax either. When Annabelle…dies, it just doesn’t make sense. Sure, you take the professional’s advice, but I think everyone knows the difference between a dead body and one that is asleep. Of course, it did ensure that someone would become the prime suspect for you, but I just don’t see this ploy working so smoothly. Another iffy part was the gun that everyone was given, which was loaded with blancs. Surely someone would have tried unloading their gun to see if it actually had any ammo right….?

Since I’m going all in with this review I may as well mention one more piece of plot hax. That would be when a lady starts to back away from a bedsheet that is flying towards her. She took several long looks at the vat of acid that was behind her, yet she kept on going until she practically threw herself into the pit. The bedsheet was so slow and obviously fake that she could have done anything else for a better result. Her decision just felt odd if you ask me.

While I did poke a lot of holes in this film, it was very entertaining as I mentioned. The characters were all decent as you would expect from a retro film. The Haunted House had a nice atmosphere about it and the introduction to the film was extraordinarily well done as everyone arrived in a funeral car. The writing in this film was very good and while the threats between Frederick and Annabelle could get tiresome (Even resorting to the classic pulling hair tactic) it didn’t stop the characters from having meaningful interactions with the other characters as red herrings. They’re both cunning and while the 5 guests are not, they try their best to solve the mystery rather than simply be used in a grander scheme.

Overall, House on Haunted Hill is a good horror film. It starts to become a mystery thriller as the film goes by, but this is what I like to see in a horror film. I still have mixed feelings on the ending as I dare say that it may have been too sudden, but I can see what the film was driving towards and it’s better than having a dragged out ending I suppose. Leaving the audience to come up with the ending also saves the writers some work. The film is only about an hour, but manages to fill it in with a whole lot of plot and details so I definitely recommend giving this flick a watch. With Halloween and my Domino’s desserts coming up, it’s a good time to give this film a shot.

Overall 7/10

Hold That Ghost Review

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It’s always good to see a comedy tackle the classic horror tropes since the characters can really go about destroying them in a systematic fashion. As this is the month of October, expect a lot of scary or “scary” films coming up. Hold That Ghost is a classic film that has certainly aged well even if it reuses some gags quite a few times to really get the message across. You would never guess that this came out all the way back in the 1940’s!

Chuck and Ferdie find out that they have inheireted a hotel/mansion from a gang member who they nearly followed to the grave. The criminal didn’t trust anyone so he gave them his inheiratence since they were nearby. That’s simply how his will worked. A shady character takes the heroes to the place, but then the car drives off, leaving the heroes stranded. For reasons unknown, the driver brought along a few suspicious characters including two ladies and a scientist. It turns out that the place may not be as normal as it may appear though. A mysterious ghost starts to go after Ferdie. Of course, as Ferdie is the comic relief character, nobody takes him seriously.

Now, in order for you to like this film, you’ll need to be fine with slapstick comedy as there is quite a lot of that going around here. This is a Costello film after all so it can be incredibly exaggerated at times with his actions and lack of intelligence. In a sense, you can say that the Costello films are sort of like the Adam Sandler films and how they could have been back in the 40’s since most of the terrible dialogue and writing from the modern era wouldn’t have arrived yet. I’m actually okay with this kind of comedy as I’ve actually grown used to it through Knuckles in Sonic Boom and have come to appreciate the subtle burns that these characters get. They may get pushed around a lot, but they fire back when necessary as well.

Ferdie tends to take every line directed at him literally, which means that any figure of speech results in an intriguing conversation. Ferdie just never learned most of the things which we would consider to be common sense so he pants like a dog instead when the ghost starts to scare him. It’s not entirely his fault as the main heroine doesn’t see the ghost even though objects are moving right in front of her. You start to feel a little bad for Ferdie since nothing ends up working out well for him. He loses some of your sympathy when he tries to steal the money at the end of the film though. He also lets his “friend” bully him around the place which is certainly not a great move.

As for his friend Chuck, the guy’s not quite as charasmatic although he’s a decently good character. He can go a little far with how he treats Ferdie, but the two seem to still be friends somehow. Chuck does try to help Ferdie find a new room after he is haunted several times, but he just doesn’t believe Ferdie most of the time. The evidence of any haunting is typically gone by the time Chuck arrives. Chuck is the reasonable character after all so he doesn’t believe in ghosts and is always kept out of the loop.

Most of the film is really just about these shenanigans as the ghost messes with everyone and Ferdie is the only one who seems to know about it. Finally, we get a big fight scene at the end as the true identity of the ghost shows up along with some gang members. The Ghost’s reveal was actually a little iffy and I’m still not entirely sure who exactly was the ghost. Whichever member it was certainly wasn’t that brave as Ferdie and the gang were enough to scare him. Still, the battle royale between the heroes and the gang was certainly a whole lot of fun. Each side had to brace themselves and jump into the action! Ferdie got a lot of good hits as you would expect, but the other members didn’t do so bad either.

I hadn’t been expecting the fight so that was a nice touch. The ending was also nice as the main two characters finally got to own their own tavern. The journey was tough, but arriving at the destination was likely very satisfying for the heroes. It was a peaceful ending and I wouldn’t have minded a bit of a twist, but it fit the tone of the movie. The film never dragged and it was an enjoyable title. Nothing out of the ordinary happened and essentially played without any surprises, but this is the kind of film that you can watch and leave feeling chipper.

This is a great example of a film that likely wouldn’t be as good if it was made in the modern days. For one thing, this is a comedy where the dialogue stays classy. A modern version would likely add a lot of swear words and suggestive lines. Some aspects of the film also just age better here like the shoot and run gangsters from the beginning. It’s just retro to see them here whereas in a modern film, it’s a little hard to picture it working smoothly. The camp factor is also just hard to picture in a really modern film although it’s certainly possible.

Hold That Ghost is really like a live action Scooby Doo film. It’s simple and to the point as the heroes try to retake their tavern and maybe earn some money along the way. It the film had kept running for too long, like an extra 30-40 minutes or so, then it likely would have dragged. As it stands, this was my first Abbott and Costello film in quite a while so I’m not tired of their routine yet. I actually hadn’t expected this film to really be a true comedy so it was a pleasant surprise. That’s the loophole for horror movies, just add a comedy angle to the mix and it should help the score dramatically!

Overall, Hold That Ghost was a fun film. Admittedly, the supporting characters could have been better. The radio actress’ scream when not in danger and lack of one during the real spooks was a decent gimmick I suppose. Her rivalry with Ferdie at times was intense I suppose as they fought in a classic splashing contest..unless I’m thinking of the Waitress. They were pretty similar in apearance although different in personality. The Doctor also wasn’t that good. I didn’t mind him at the beginning as he started to brag and did look like Clark Kent, but then his romance plot started and that was game over for him. He lost his charm and his ruthless wit. If you like comedies with a lot of slapstick and quick banter, then this is the film to check out. The Ghost can’t be taken seriously, but he’s not supposed to be. You can sit back and enjoy the show!

Overall 7/10

The Wrong Man Review

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The Wrong Man is a unique film in the sense that it is a drama and a drama film. Those two sound almost the same though so it was probably just an error on the Google Search…maybe. I always like good retro films as the writing is always strong. I’d call this film a success although I did have one issue with the film that was decently sizable and kept it from being an epic 8. There’s another issue that holds it up a little in the realism angle, but it doesn’t affect the final score. Hitchcock says that this thriller is even more intense than some of his “fictional” ones and he’s probably right as the mix of court room drama and mystery made this a solid experience.

Manny is your average joe. He has a steady job and is known as a very dependable fellow around the neighborhood. Everyone knows him as a nice guy, but he is suddenly confronted by the police one day to answer for a list of crimes. He has apparently committed theft and assault several times. When asked, Manny claims innocence to all of this, but he is telling the truth or is he just trying to get off easy? Only time will tell!

This is supposedly based on a true story and I can believe it as I’m sure that cases like this have happened in the past. That being said, if we’re treating the story as if it really happened, then some scenes really stretched that line in the movie. There was one part where the cops decided to have Manny copy the letter that the criminal wrote to see if their handwriting was the same. It turns out that they were almost identical and Manny also made the same typo that the crook did. That was a little much if you asked me and at that point, I just figured that Manny had a split personality and did do the crimes. I think that this makes more sense than the alternative that the film gave us. That was the only scene that hurt its credability in terms of realism, but one scene is all that you need for something like this.

The only problem that I actually had with the film was the part where Manny’s wife went insane. It happened so suddenly as she was fighting for his innocence one day and the next, she had quickly fallen into despair. Apparently she had already been dealing with this, but the sudden breakdown was still a bit much. It was also very unnecessary to the film if you ask me. The film really would not have changed almost at all if she had stayed strong. The film would have also been more fun that way and Manny could have had someone else on his side. We do get a happy ending for her after a timeskip, but it just furthers the point that this plot was really shoehorned in.

Back to the realism part for a second. It is a little iffy how two of Manny’s witnesses just died so mysteriously. I suppose that mystery films need some red herrings, but everything was conveniently against Manny. He probably would have been doomed in court, but at least he had the character witnesses of his boss and the hotel owners. What he lacked in evidence and proof, Manny made up for with personal connections. I ended up liking his lawyer even though the guy seemed a little fishy at first. He pulled through when it counted and noticed that the jury was very bias and against Manny so he quickly called for a rematch. It was a very good choice on his part and I had barely even realized what the jury was doing. This guy certainly knew his stuff.

Manny was also a good main character. He could have handled the situation a little better I suppose, like talking to the owners of the shop a little more. It’s possible that it would have helped them realize that they had the wrong man. Manny also acted a little suspicious when his wife started to talk to the lawyer about possible witnesses and he quickly made an excuse to leave. Extra red herrings I suppose. The wife was likable before she went insane. A decent heroine, but that subplot hurt her.

I did like the cops as they tried to give Manny a fair shake the whole time, despite the fact that they had basically decided he was guilty from the start. I guess they figured that lying to his face would calm Manny down. The fact that they did call his wife was very iffy though. That just felt shady. These are the cops, not the mafia. What’s with all the secrecy? A few times, you would have thought that they weren’t on the level,but since this is based on a true story, I disregarded that notion since it would have been a little too fantastic. (In the original sense of the word, not good, but just unbelievable) “An innocent man has nothing to fear” is a line that the cops use quite a lot and it’s a memorable one. While it is only mostly true, it’s still something to keep in mind when you’re falsely accused. If you’re a modern film lead, you could even crack a bunch of jokes despite the severity of the situation.

As you would expect, the writing and the script are spot on. Even when Manny and the cops are starting to get a little heated, they use sophisticated burns to stop each other. Another suspicious character was Manny’s step brother, but he ended up being on the level so that was good for the lead. Manny certainly couldn’t afford to have any more enemies in this film. His two sons were also all right I suppose, but you could also call them filler and I’m glad that their roles weren’t any bigger.

The main draw of the film is simply the suspense as the mystery hooks you in. I thought that the film was very enjoyable and the mystery was handled well. I also really liked the court scenes and still love those. There wasn’t as much back and forth as usual since we mostly only saw it from the attacking side, but it was fun nonetheless. The film’s decently long, but doesn’t drag out. I would have liked to have scene the fake Manny a little more, but it wasn’t necessary to the plot I suppose. While the characters looked similar, I still don’t see how it fooled so many of the characters.

Overall, The Wrong Man is a good retro film. The suspense is certainly real and Manny is put through the ringer. The court case was fun and I liked all of the cop interrogation scenes. They were definitely enjoyable and the cops were portrayed as they should be. They knew their job and completed the mission without a whole lot of difficulty. It was also fun to see the old meatstore owners take out the criminal near the end. They definitely had gusto! I certainly recommend this film if you’re looking for an old fashioned mystery and a story about a man who must prove his innocence no matter the cost! There are no real negatives in this film aside from the wife’s subplot so you can just kick back and enjoy the show!

Overall 7/10

White House Down Review

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It’s time to review a recent White House film and I’m not talking about Olympus Has Fallen this time! White House Down has more of a summer blockbuster feel while Olympus tried to take itself more seriously. I definitely preferred this one, but I’ll compare them both in a little bit. This film still had quite a few problems and suffered from the usual terrorists vs America issues, but was decently fun for the most part.

John has always wanted to be a part of the secret services and he’s about to get his chance! He brings his daughter along for the interview and things are going well. The problem is that…he failed the interview. Ah well, he tried. As John is about to leave, the White House is attacked and a traitor among them destroys all of the guards. A handful of other terrorists appear and take out the 50+ guards in the White House. John manages to escape along with the President, but how long can they hold out? Can these villains be stopped or will the heroes have to call for some backup?

Well, the plot’s fairly basic and these films have a bit of a formula to them so you know what to expect. Most of the usual events occur, but the film does try to shake things up a little by having the President get more of a role in the adventure like in Air Force One. The film is a little on the long side, but I wouldn’t say that it drags on as you’ll stay interested during the viewing for the most part.

All right, let’s quickly get the comparisons out of the way between this and Olympus. As I mentioned earlier, Olympus is supposed to be really serious business. The terrorists just want to watch the world burn and it can be pretty gritty as the lead knifed and gunned everyone down. The villains also intimidate and shoot the hostages for a little while which made for overdramatized scenes that were painfully long. The President got a scene where he was boxing in that film, but then didn’t get to throw a punch. This film is the opposite in many ways as it’s more light. There are several scenes for comic relief and the President gets a decent role. The best part is that we don’t have to waste time watching the terrorists mess with the hostages for the most part. It happens a bit of course, but it’s much better. This film was simply better for me on just about every level. The only area where the other film won was probably with the main character. He was a little more intense than John, but I liked both leads.

Back to the film. One of the good things about it was the soundtrack. We got several solid tunes to listen too during the attacks. They were certainly fast paced and helped to make the scenes a little more epic. A little on the generic side…sure, but they still did the job. That’s the important thing. I’d also say that the writing was much better than expected as there was virtually no language when compared to the standard, but this was a TV airing so make of that what you will. It’s possible that it was just edited out.

As I mentioned earlier, John’s a good lead. He wants to be a good father and he’s been working to make himself into a good person who can be dependable for his daughter. He certainly proved his stuff in this film and you can easily root for the guy. The President is also a solid character and I’m glad that he’s always ready for a fight. He gets quite a few big moments and even shoots a rocket at one point. That’s definitely not your average President material! There aren’t any other real notable characters as you have the garden variety terrorists at the ready and the supporting characters. I liked the general of the National Defense military group as he always kept a calm head about everything and I also liked the accent.

Now, let’s get into the main issue that makes the film a little dicey. The whole premise and plot only works on the assumption that the government security staff is inept and that America’s aim for each soldier is about as good as a storm trooper. As I stated earlier, the terrorists essentially entered with 20-1 odds or maybe even worse ones than that and not a single one of them was taken down during the attack. They seriously mowed everyone down without effort and it was embarassing to watch. Adding insult to injury is the fact that the hacker just had to type in 9 digits to immediately override the security of the White House and own everyone with it. He was very adept with the tech and suddenly knew how to operate everything.

There is a lot of plot hax in this film and it never really stops. Even near the end when the President rushes an old guy, I had to wince. The old man is able to overpower him and with a single punch, the President is out of commission for about 10 minutes. A single punch…just let that sink in a little. There’s no way that someone would lose that quickly when the stakes are so high. We do have the whole concept of adrenaline after all. I could list dozens and dozens of other such reasons, but let’s just talk about the big ones. There’s the fact that there is apparently no backup near the White House for some reason and none of the planes get anywhere near there until late into the film. That’s certainly…not very well thought out of our government eh? It’s also sad to see so many random civilians huddled around the White House as it makes things very tough for the army to do their job.

Our tanks were also not very impressive as a single rocket took one down since the tank naturally missed its target with the first shot and decided not to fire any more of them after that. America just did not look good and that’s unfortunately how it has to be if this plot is ever going to look impressive to the masses. It’s also unfortunate that we even have White House tours in real life, but that’s another matter entirely. The White House is mostly for show after all and especially nowadays as the President is always around on peace negotiations and other such things. Still, the concept of it just doesn’t work for me.

Beyond that…and that’s a big beyond, this was a good film. The plot was interesting as the President wanted to unveil a controversial peace treaty that would take all troops from the Middle East. That definitely sounds risky and I’m not sure if it’s a good move, but let’s save the politics chatter for a political site. The film’s attempts to keep things light with the comic relief were decent for the most part. I didn’t mind the antique guy who kept going on about the priceless artifacts. Him throwing one away at the end was a little much, but at least he was brave enough to stand up to the villains. I didn’t like John’s daughter though as she was overly rude to him the whole time and acted like the kid from Jurassic World. We’re definitely not getting good examples of kids in current films. Just look at Pixels and how the main characters were petty thieves in their younger days. Not cool.

Overall, White House Down fulfills its duty as an action blockbuster where the President gets to fight back. There is a lot of plot hax scattered throughout the film and America looks decently bad as expected. Luckily, it’s not to the extent of Olympus Has Fallen and this film was just more fun. It wouldn’t be my first pick, but I would recommend it to viewers. My advice is to just watch it as another action film and ignore the fact that the White House is being invaded. Imagine that it is just a fancy office building and everything will start to make a little more sense. I mean, the US not having any backups whatsoever to our missilles and nukes..? Please! Still, maybe it’s a good thing for foreign countries to believe this so in that sense….right on!

Overall 6/10

Cult of The Cobra Review

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Time to look at another retro film by Universal. This one definitely came out quite a while ago and I will admit that I have never heard of it before. The poster is certainly intriguing and I never get tired of seeing the scared looks on everyone’s face as they look at the main characters of the film. It was a staple of the old films after all and they do have a good reason to be very afraid. After all, their lives may be in grave danger!

A group of American soldiers were getting ready to go to New York, but they hadn’t found anything really cool to take pictures of. They became fascinated by a man who could play music to a snake and one American mentioned how their was a religious cult who believes that people could turn into snakes and vice versa. The old man told them that he could take them to a meeting so they could see for themselves…for 100 dollars plus 10 up front. The heroes went and saw an intriguing show with a whole lot of dancing. Unfortunately, one of the members was drunk out of his mind and decided to take a very bright and loud picture of the show. Naturally, this did not fly with the members there and they decided to attack.

The army members were able to escape thanks to their military training, but one of their members died to a Cobra bite and they were cursed so that the rest would die the same way. Was this real or was it fantasy? Most of the members disregarded this right away, but then a mysterious lady moved next door and all of the animals were afraid of her. Also, more of the army members started to die from mysterious accidents. It may take a rocket scientist to put the clues together before it is too late!

This is certainly a classic horror film at its core. The Cobra even gets her own theme music. Whenever she puts on her serious face, the music speeds up and you know that one of the army guys is going to die…or at least be threatened. She typically gets to play her theme music at least three times before any fatalities occur. You know that the characters will be toast, but you just don’t know when they will bite the big one. Even the wife of one of the main character is nearly taken down, but the handy dandy mailman arrives just in the nick of time. That’s why speedy mail delivery is always so important right? Naturally, I’d give the soundtrack here a thumbs up. It’s not quite Resurrection F or Bonds Beyond Time, but it’s rare for a 50’s film to have any notable themes at all, so this was quite an impressive feat.

The film’s only a little bit above an hour so it’s quite short. That being said, the end of the film starts to drag just a little as you’re waiting for the heroes to make a move or for the next victim to show up. The Cobra doesn’t even seem all that sure herself as she struggles to decide whether she should go through with the murders or not. She hints that she may not be able to stop herself, but it’s hard to tell whether she meant that physically or just about the honor of it all. Either way, if she really wanted to settle down, not murdering the main guy’s friends would have been a good way to start. As she was a half hearted villain, I can see why she never became as big as characters Dracula or the Werewolf.

I was glad that the cops were actually pretty reasonable here as the evidence was pretty clear cut so they should agree that the new girl was the likely suspect. It did make sense after all right? Paul was definitely the best character in the film as he always suspected that there was some truth to the curse as cults would need to have someone to back them up. The way that he and Lisa handled the whole wedding arrangement admittedly lacked any form of tact or honor and came across as a little rude, but they probably hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought so they were just trying to go through the motions of being Tom’s friend even though their romance was their top concern. You will feel bad for Tom for a second, except that he went for the rebound immediately which shows that he’s the kind of guy who can move on way too quickly.

I think this film could have used a little more action. Not a whole lot happens and that’s usually okay, but a good portion of the film is spent on giving the cobra some character development, which ultimately doesn’t go anywhere. That screen time could have been better used for some fights against the Cobra. Some of the characters struggle, like throwing vases and things of the sort, but how can you not be able to outrun a Cobra? At the very least, you can manage to land a hit right? Even if the bite happens first, you can squash it…of course, that would have hurt the film’s score so it’s a double edged sword.

It should be noted that the film takes the high road with the animal violence so I have to give it kudos for that. A dog, cat, and a horse appear and they are all spared. There was one scary scene where we think that the cobra will attack the dog, but this doesn’t happen. I think the dog should have been a little braver and could have approached the cobra, but since that could have been dicey, I’m fine with this. The shaking was a bit much though and you’ll feel bad for the little guy.

Overall, Cult of The Cobra was a good film. It was probably a little more dull than some of the other retro classics, but it was still an interesting film. My favorite part of it was probably the opening scenes as that could have been expanded into a film in its own right. I wouldn’t have minded if it was about them infiltrating the cult, but that’s another plot for another film I suppose. The characters were decently developed even though you knew that they would be toast by the end. Snakes aren’t too scary compared to other monsters so this definitely won’t scare you at this point, but that’s all right. The solid music theme for the cobra will be good enough for the horror/thriller aspect. If you like these retro thrillers, then I certainly recommend it. It may not be the most exciting tale out there, but it’s fairly short and the writing is solid.

Overall 6/10