Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review


Now it’s time for Indiana Jones to edge closer to the next generation. This one introduces a new kid who can actually be rather fun at times. I’m not saying he’s amazing or anything like that but he does bring a lot of confidence and energy into the picture. This makes for a fun film as a result and I’d probably put it in second behind the original film. There is a lot of fun adventuring to be had here and the film moves at a good pace.

The movie starts off with Indiana being captured as always and he still escapes but not before getting betrayed by his friend Mac. Mac basically just wanted a lot of money and didn’t care who he got it from. Well sadly this means Indiana’s reputation is shot as people think he is a commie so he is forced to take a leave of absence from his teaching position. He prepares to leave the country but is stopped by a teen named Mutt. Mutt informs Indiana that there is one last job to do. Indiana’s old friend Ox has gone crazy after looking into a powerful gem and our hero needs to look into this. It may have something to do with ancient civilizations and it’s not like Jones was ever one to back off from a challenge like this. Can he still hold his own in a fight at his age?

The main thing you will be wondering as you watch the film is how Indiana hasn’t died of some kind of bacteria disease just yet. He’s constantly touching old mummies and dead bodies without any gloves or protective equipment. That seems like an absolutely terrible idea right? All it would take is one misstep and he is absolutely cooked. Ah well I guess he’s lucky. Unfortunately as always Jones looks bad in the romance department here. It’s retroactive in fact as we find out he got cold feet right before the wedding. It’s a terrible look for him. Also while it is played for laughs, we see how he holds very different standards for a random guy vs his son. His tune changes real fast.

Jones is generally more in control than in the previous films though so maybe old age actually helped him out this time. He knows how o handle himself in a fight as always but also isn’t getting outmaneuvered as much. I do think he was a bit easy on Mac towards the end though. When you have a traitor there can be no mercy at al, Mac never gave me a reason to actually think that he would be any good at all. The guy was willing to sell everybody out in order to get what he wanted and that makes him as evil as it gets. The first time Jones got to punch him was definitely satisfying.

Spalko is the first villain in a minute who is actually memorable and solid. She’s not relying on her feminine wiles to win a fight or anything like that. No, she can just straight up fight and gives Indiana a real battle the whole time. That’s what I want to see from one of these villains and she’s one of the more powerful opponents that we’ve seen in a minute as well. Ultimately her own ambitions were what got to be too much for her.

As for Mutt, well he’s a fun lad like I said in the intro. He’s always ready for a fight an his pocket knife comes in handy on more than one occasion. Without him the heroes would have really been in a bad spot. He isn’t always prepared like when he brought a knife to a gun fight but it’s also not like you would expect a teen to have his own gun just yet. Mutt is definitely a very rebellious character but written in an effective way so that he doesn’t come across as too annoying.

Marion shows up rather deep into the film and doesn’t look bad. I would just say that she is too merciful. She should want nothing to do with Indiana after what he did. It’s something these films never seem to learn when it comes to romance. Things don’t just patch together in an instant. There is always going to be some resentment and you can’t build a good relationship out of that. The film should have kept them as just friends or something instead. It’s also not like you really needed any romance here and could have kept us in suspense instead for a future film.

Indiana’s friend Ox tends to be super annoying though. It’s not fully his fault as the guy went absolutely crazy but that’s the case for almost the whole film. He can barely talk and when he does it is just cryptic nonsense. He’s basically more of a plot device than a character. The plot itself was interesting but I definitely would have cut him out. You just don’t need the guy. Meanwhile the film can’t help itself with the creepy crawlies and so this time you have a ton of Ants eating people. A bunch of them also get stomped with some really crazy ooze effects.

Was all of that really necessary? The ants design is pretty intense when you focus on how they actually look. I definitely give the film some good credit there but otherwise you really could have skipped those. Then we have the climax with some pretty big implications for the series. I fully expect all future films to completely ignore the ending though. Jones keeps finding some rather crazy stuff but then doesn’t tell the world or try to make it a big deal. He should be using this knowledge for the betterment of humanity but of course he will need to go slow or he will be jailed for conspiracy or something like that. You could probably do a whole film on Jones just trying to gather his bearings on all of the things that he knows now. The film’s effects were definitely solid.

Overall, Indiana’s dynamic with Mutt is actually rather solid. I enjoyed their scenes together and Mutt holds his own way more than you would expect from the average teen. Perhaps the film series is just good at handling kids and the rest. While the film admittedly has less of a sense of danger than the previous ones, it is still a lot of fun which is the important part. The opening scene involving a fridge was really quite solid as well and shows what a quick thinker he is. Not just anyone would have been able to handle that. Finally Indiana just loses less than he does in the other films. He’s still not always on top or anything like that but he is starting to act like the main adventurer he is supposed to be. Even if he is quite a bit older now.

Overall 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Review


It’s time for the weakest Indiana Jones adventure. This one definitely dwells a bit too much on the grosser elements of exploration as the heroes keep finding themselves in spots where the locals eat rather gross food options. Additionally the film definitely does decide to get a little extra edgy like having Jones be forced to take some corrupted blood. The end result is a film that doesn’t quite let Indiana Jones get as much adventuring in as you’d like.

The film starts off with Indiana trying to close out a deal he made with some shady individuals. They betray him but Indiana was ready and betrays them right back. His big mistake was in drinking some poison by mistake so he loses his leverage and barely escapes along with his life. His sidekick Short Round was definitely really helpful here but Jones is less pleased to have a lady named Willie follow along. The 3 of them are now stuck together and before they can go home, Indiana runs into a village where the kids have gone missing. Is it the work of a supernatural entity…or something a little more down to Earth?

Right away I can tell you that the romance in this film is quite abysmal although it’s not like the romance in the Jones films tend to be all that good anywhere. The third film actually gets even worse in that regard. Willie has no reason to like Jones after being tossed in this crazy predicament and she comes off as looking desperate. No worries, the same is true of Jones as well who really can’t ever seem to keep his mind on the adventure at hand. Perhaps that is why he tends to lose several times in every movie? He is constantly being outmaneuvered and manipulated by all of the other characters at every turn. He has to get lucky constantly in order to survive.

I’ll give him credit for doing his best to save the kids and help things end all right but as a character he can definitely be really annoying. In this film he is really outshined by his sidekick most of the time. Shorty saves Jones on multiple occasions and really does a lot better than I would have expected out of any kid. Usually the kids tend to be panicking or getting in the way but not this guy. He stepped up as needed and took a lot of risks. While I still tend to avoid having kids in film, this one wasn’t bad at least. He was probably even the MVP here.

Willie never really gets better even outside of the romance plot to be honest. She is constantly panicking and yelling the whole time. She has some valid points like I wouldn’t want to be forced to eat bugs either. Some kind of escape plan would be a good idea but at the end of the day you can’t always escape everything. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a stand but even to the end Willie was allowing herself to just be pushed around and go with the flow. Not the best way to really pave a path for herself.

Like I said at the start, the film definitely leans too hard on all the creepy crawlies. When characters aren’t eating them, they are in rooms covered in them or having to let them crawl all around. Crude humor probably isn’t quite the word for it so I don’t really know which term is right but it’s just overplayed. Meanwhile this is definitely known as a fairly violent Jones film for good reason. The deaths can get intense, then you have the gruesome drinking blood scene and of course Jones being used as a pin cushion.

While the climax gives us a really long action sequence, it actually takes a while to get there. In the leadup to that we have a whole lot of lore as things are being explained to Jones but the film basically takes a timeout. This could have worked better with a fun backdrop but of course it’s all about the bugs and the weak romance so you’re really just itching for the plot to begin again. Anything to get you out of the duller moments.

The villains are also on the very forgettable side. I’d say the villains from the first film were a lot more impressive. These guys are all insane cultists who fit all the primitive tropes well but do little to really impress you. They’re the kind of villains where you probably won’t remember any of their names or even much of their goals within a few weeks. They are obstacles for Jones to defeat and nothing more. I’m waiting for another big rival character like the guy from the first film. That would make for a much better dynamic.

Also by this point there is so much supernatural going on within the world that Jones needs to weaponize it. Clearly voodoo dolls work so using that to tie up his enemies would be intense. Of course first he would need to figure out how it works but this is all a lot easier once you know that supernatural things do exist. Likewise we had spirits in the first film. I know at the time Jones didn’t believe in the supernatural but surely by this point he does. He would be absolutely crazy to not have put the two dots together by now.

Overall, The Temple of Doom wasn’t particularly good. It’s also just a little too long for it to only be okay so there isn’t a lot of replay value here. To watch it again you would need a strong reason to do so. Additionally there is pretty much no screentime of Jones in his professor role which is a shame since I liked the whole dual identity. It feels like the film just sort of lost its way a bit here although it would rebound in time. I needed more fun tomb exploration and solving puzzles like a Tomb Raider game. That’s what I expect from an Indiana Jones adventure at least.

Overall 5/10

Spy X Family Code: White Review


It’s definitely cool that Spy X Family got a big movie already. Many titles never get a movie or it happens at the very end but at this rate the series can probably squeeze another 1-2 films in before the series is over. It’s a fun adventure with a new setting to have fun in. The fact that it’s a movie also allows us to get a really dynamic fight scene in and Yor hasn’t been this relevant in quite a while. It works as a really solid stand alone adventure.

The film starts off with Loid taking down another villain group but his secret organization is not impressed and still says he will need to be reassigned from his current project. The only way to convince them otherwise is to make some progress really fast. He figures the quickest way to do that is by getting his daughter Anya to win the cooking contest and get the elusive Stella grand prize. Loid knows that the judge loves a certain kind of cake but it is only sold in another town so he plans a big vacation with his wife Yor and Anya to go try it out. This should be a piece of cake.

Meanwhile Yor finished her latest assassin mission and murdered her opponents but the next day she sees Loid seemingly kissing another woman. Her friends happen to be talking about infidelity and tell Yor to watch out for 3 big red flags. Sudden vacations, lots of presents, and new clothing styles. Yor is now on red alert for this big trip to try a cake. Is that the real reason for this trip? While her marriage to Loid may be a ploy, she has started to catch feelings and won’t let this slip away so easily.

Finally Anya is always really hungry and unfortunately she broke into someone’s luggage and ate their chocolate. What is even more unfortunate about this is that inside the chocolate was a tiny microchip containing a lot of important data and so now the government is after her. They need the data and aren’t afraid to murder Anya to get it. As Anya is just a child she doesn’t quite recognize the immense danger that she is in. Has she just doomed them all?

I would say that the 3 plots converge eventually but technically the 3 characters are together for most of the adventure. They just don’t know the specifics of what the other is doing for the most part. It makes for a fun dynamic and everyone gets something to do. It probably goes without saying that Anya has the weakest plot of the 3 though. For starters the whole thing is her fault since she should not have been eating other people’s chocolate. Yes, the eating part was an accident but she still opened the suitcase on her own which was not a good idea. We get a trippy dream sequence about using the bathroom as well which felt like something out of Teen Titans Go. Definitely not what I was expecting here.

Anya definitely means well but you can see why she is still just a kid. She isn’t quite prepared for this situation. I’d have traded in her scenes for Yuri getting to do a bit more. He looked great here as he was immediately ready to go save Yor when he heard that she was in a dangerous place. Yuri was ultimately stopped but it is the thought that counts. He’s the kind of guy you can really count on to help as needed. Maybe he will get more to do in the next film.

Loid looks solid as always. He is always trying to basically do everything on his own and does a good job there. He doesn’t want to make anyone worry after all and he’s trained for things like this. he can always handle himself well in a fight and thinks his next move through carefully. He may not be perfect at reading the other characters but who is right? At the end of the day he continues to get closer to achieving his objective.

Meanwhile Yor does really well here. She did well to take down the two guys attacking Anya near the beginning and her fight within the burning ship was great. The background was really intense and the animation got to shine there. Dealing with someone who is basically not even human anymore is no small feat and this is a fight where even Loid would have been in trouble. She really had to use her athleticism and smarts to take this guy down. Her opponent would probably end up being one of the strongest enemies in the series. It’s also a fight that really benefits from being in a movie where the staff can really show off with the animation.

As a whole the animation is quite solid here. It may not be looking like Dragon Ball or My Hero, but it still shines considering that this isn’t first and foremost an action story. It manages to contain action stories that would make those titles proud. The soundtrack is a bit more forgettable. I was expecting at least one big lyrical song to play during the climax but what we got was still decent. Soundtrack is just something that I think the movie could have worked a whole lot harder on.

Yor getting jealous and insecure may be a bit of a stale plot point already but it’s not like that is the sole focus of the movie. It would have been dicey if that was the case but the movie has a lot going on throughout. Anya aside, the humor tends to be good and the film is very fast paced. Bond gets the shaft here but it’s not like there is much you could have expected him to do here anyway. This is really a mission for the top two fighters in the business and they get the job done. As I said before, it’s an easy film for new watchers to get into as well since the basics of the plot are explained at the very beginning. If you’re up for a fun action/adventure title then you’ve come to the right place.

Overall, This was definitely a pretty good film. It was fun seeing the characters in action again and Yor definitely had the best moments here. Every time there was a fight it was definitely a lot of fun to see. At times the film could maybe be moving a bit slowly and you don’t really care about Anya’s scenes all that much. While the new setting helps make this feel like a film, I would also say it feels more like an extended episode compared to other big films like Demon Slayer and the DBS Broly film. So it may not be nonstop hype all the time but there was definitely enough of it going around where it still ends up being a quality title all the way. It’s a chance to see the characters in a new adventure never before seen in any format and that alone is worth the cost of admission.

Overall 7/10

The Outfit (2022) Review

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about a villainous organization making the rounds. It works pretty well as a low key suspense kind of film. Things pick up near the end but a good chunk of it is really about trying to keep quiet and seeing how long the characters can run a bluff. Naturally this isn’t a very easy thing to really pull off especially under duress.

The film starts by introducing us to Leonard. He’s the best at what he does and while most people call him a tailor, he is actually a cutter. Leonard goes to great pains to explain the difference but people always underestimate him. Ah well, his skills are the real deal and everybody goes to his shop but the one catch is that he has to allow the local mob to use the venue as well. His shop is almost like a front in that sense which isn’t his favorite thing in the world but at least he can tune it out. Well, one day two of the high ranking mob members stumble inside after a vicious battle with another gang, Richie and Francis. Richie was badly injured and there is a mysterious suitcase carrying something. Leonard is warned not to mess with it or he’ll lose his life but the whole city is after it. What should he do?

The entire movie takes place inside of Leonard’s shop as different people go in and out. It definitely makes for a pretty interesting setup here. The film has an old school feel to it as a result as you think of the old Hitchcock films that would use one location like this. As the viewer you are out of the loop at first but gradually you begin to see more and more of what’s going on. The film keeps on hinting at things as well to let you craft your own theories before they are revealed.

The movie is very confident in its story to the point where you don’t really have any red herrings here. You’re likely going to know the first pair of twists but then after that it’s much harder to have predicted the last one. It’s all a very logical line of story beats and they are written well. The film will have you engaged with what is going on the whole time without a doubt. It’s very easy to get engrossed in it all.

For the most part this is what I’d call a cerebral thriller so there isn’t a lot of violence but I would say there are two fairly violent deaths. Each one definitely drags on a little longer than necessary as these people die relatively slow deaths. Beyond that, it’s really all about the mental stress which is definitely intense enough in its own right. It’s part of why the film is fun, it’s just a nice angle to approach things from.

As for the characters, Leonard is a nice guy who is trying to get his secretary Mable back on the right track. She’s been after the bad boys for a while now and seems to put too much importance on material wealth. Leonard knows that this will get her into trouble but the problem is that it’s not really easy to fix that. At the end of the day she is just an employee after all, not family or anything like that. People often learn their lessons the hard way. Leonard doesn’t always make the correct calls as the movie goes on but his experience and intuition go a long way. While it’s fair to say that he definitely got lucky in some instances, he handled things as well as he could.

As for Mable, I can’t say that I was a fan of hers. Bad romantic decisions aside, she came off as way too arrogant and overconfident considering her situation. At one point she basically just starts talking tough and being insulted when she was nearly about to be tortured and still in a super dangerous position. You’d think that would make you at least a little more quiet for the time being as you wait for the situation to be a bit better. It seemed to me that she did not have a whole lot of street smarts.

Then we have Richie who is a bit easy to manipulate. The guy thinks he is a real big shot and such hubris is often blinding. The guy was completely out of his depth here and someone who spent a little too much time trying to be intimidating. He could have used all that time posturing to train instead.

Meanwhile Francis is another guy who thinks he is a real trickster and that comes back to bite him a bit here. To an extent all of the characters are trying to manipulate the situation though so it all comes down to who can do that the best. In times like that you need a mix of skill and experience on your side or you’re through. I did appreciate the leader of the gang though, he was sharp like when he noticed an object that really changed things. The boss of the rival gang also seemed smart and resourceful even if we did not get to see nearly as much of her since she didn’t appear until the end.

Overall, The Outfit is a pretty solid film. It’s definitely one of those films that makes you want to try and predict every twist and the fact that it doesn’t cheat with unknowable information definitely makes it that much more satisfying. If you’re up for a film like this then I can solidly recommend this one. The plot continues to shift and change as the movie goes on and the pacing remains solid all throughout the adventure. You could probably even make a sequel with how the film ends although some may say that could end up redundant anyway.

Overall 6/10

The Outfit Review


Whenever you have a gunman going up against some kind of a criminal syndicate you figure that they have to be absolutely doomed. There is just no way to outwit these kind of fighters right? You’re basically fighting off a whole army and yet that’s exactly what happens here. The Outfit got so used to winning that they are rather overconfident by this point. Definitely a dangerous spot to be in.

The movie starts out with the gang murdering Earl’s brother. Earl isn’t happy when he finds out about this after being released from prison. They try finishing him off as well but Earl was too fast and turns the tables. Now he wants revenge and so he’s going to start attacking “The Outfit” and stealing their money until they agree to his ransom demands. It’s an ambitious plan but he has a good friend willing to help him out. The only wild card here is his girlfriend. He wants her in the mix but she could end up being a liability. Will Earl’s stubbornness really get him into trouble?

Now this is at its core a film about villains fighting other villains. There aren’t really any heroes in the story, after all Earl was doing fairly heavy time in prison for his crime. So you have to decide if you’re rooting for Earl and his revenge or if you think the syndicate should win. Additionally you could just root for them all to be defeated and arrested by the cops but of course that is a bit of a longshot.

The movie also does make sure to show that Earl isn’t a particularly nice guy. His relationship with Bett is super toxic the whole time. He gets physical with her rather quickly and so again you are reassured that he is a total villain at heart. He is not some super nice guy or anything like that. The villains are all corrupt as well so it’s basically a wash. To an extent you don’t really mind whichever side gets it.

When a car tune-up goes wrong thanks to some false allegations from a scorned lady, we do unfortunately get some animal violence as a dog is murdered. That was definitely the low point of the film. The movie definitely did not need that scene and finding a way to avoid it would have helped the film greatly. There was enough tension and loss in the film without having to go that far. The whole plot there was really a bit out of nowhere and you could have just skipped the scene as a whole.

The film is at its best when it’s just about Earl and Cody taking out villains at every base that they stop at. It does make the Outfit look rather weak though with how they don’t beef up security or do much of anything. The leader himself can’t even be bothered until it all finally comes close to home. Still, you’d think there would be some communication going out and alerting everyone of what’s going on though. That would have made sense and then the main two would find it harder and harder to break into the bases. Instead the difficulty never really goes up as the Outfit doesn’t adapt at all.

Earl even laughs about how easy it is at the end of the film. He’s not wrong either since the whole thing was super easy. This is the kind of film that I’m surprised didn’t have a more somber or ironic ending like the two betraying each other or not. I guess ultimately they just made it through the situation and would be ready for a sequel. This time they’ll probably want to avoid adding any more characters because Bett definitely made all the rookie mistakes you could imagine. It’s always annoying to see characters just breaking the safety rules because they got upset or impatient. Not a very good business move.

Aside from the toxic romance parts, Earl works decently well as the main character. It’s just a big thing to try and put to the side. Not having any romance plot would have definitely been a good thing for the film because it’s not like it really served any kind of purpose here. Cody was a good friend and definitely came through a whole lot of times. If Earl had been on his own then he would never have been able to get as far as he did. For all of his skills, one man alone would not beat an organization while just having one more makes this a whole new ballgame.

As it is there is still a considerable amount of plot armor here. At one point the villains trap them inside a fairly small room with agents posted everywhere and they manage to shoot their way out of there. Even the main villain comments on how crazy this is. I’d be upset too since the organization had the element of surprise and the numbers advantage. When you still find a way to lose with all of that on your side, well there is no real coming back from that. It means that your organization is seriously lacking in skill and it goes back to how complacent they’ve become. They rely on their reputation over skill at this point and it really came back to bite them.

Overall, I would have appreciated a tougher end for the main characters. At the end of the day they were still full on villains after all. Not even the sympathetic kind but the full blown villains kind with punching out secretaries and being quick to fight. I was not expecting the ending at all though so that definitely took me for a spin. The movie made some critical errors at key moments so without that this would have fared better. If you really want to check out a big Noir title then you should watch this one but the genre is already stuffed with plenty of good films. So you could do better with one of those.

Overall 4/10

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009) Review


The original Pelham film was definitely a solid one and I had pretty good hopes for the remake as well. The story has a strong foundation after all so I don’t see any reason why the remake would be any different. You’ll be pretty engaged the whole time with what’s going on and while the original would still take the win, this one can definitely hold its own. The film has to succeed in spite of the technical aspects that threaten to hold it back though.

The film starts with Ryder and a bunch of other terrorists running into a train and taking it over. These guys are professionals and trap it in the middle of a tunnel. It will be difficult for anybody to get in there and do much of anything now. Their demands are simple, they want 10 million dollars and they want it in 1 hour. The MTA employee who gets the call is Garber and so you can say that he’s really drawn the short straw here. He’s been dealing with a lot himself as he was demoted after being accused of taking a bribe. Garber declares that he is innocent but the investigation is still ongoing. If anybody dies during this event, it won’t exactly help his case.

There is a lot of tension the whole time since the majority of the film is really about the conversation happening over the phone. Garber is trying to prevent anyone from dying but of course he ultimately doesn’t have much control over that. He is dealing with somebody who is absolutely crazy and so you can never tell exactly how such an encounter will go. There is a professional hostage guy here to help out but even for him this is ultimately a bunch of guesses based on prior experience. The same tactics don’t always work.

Over the course of the film the villain begins to feel a connection with Garber as two men who were betrayed by the system although he never actually gets through to Garber to see it that way. Garber won’t let himself be pulled into the lies and the only time I would say he really faltered was when he allowed Ryder to dictate the terms and make him confess to a crime. I was originally thinking Garber would just fake it in order to appease the guy but I guess in the end he just wasn’t very innocent here. That part was too bad since it would have been nice if he actually did have everything together and didn’t make such a big mistake. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes of course but it would have been a good way for Garber to break away from the narrative that he was similar to Ryder in any way.

Regardless since it’s under duress I assume the confession couldn’t be used for much. Garber definitely takes a lot of real chances during the negotiations and of course it is a lot easier to backseat drive than to be in the situation. Ultimately I think you can never go anywhere with terrorists and you have to try going out fighting. Take out the gun and at least nail one or two of them. Inside of the train, one guy ultimately can’t think of a plan and just tells the villains to shoot him. They oblige and it was nice that he took the bullet for another passenger but if you’re going to die anyway, I say you should at least make a play for the gun.

Your odds are slim but at least they’re not 0 like when you give up. The instant you give up is when it is all actually over. You have to prolong that period for as long as you can. I would also bring up the numbers advantage but realistically you can’t count on any of the passengers. Odds are that they will fold or back out when the going gets tough. So if you make a move, it’s with the understanding that you really could die there. Not an easy thing to have to contend with.

As for the villain himself, Ryder was definitely real unhinged. The guy was smart enough to have a big plan and everything but it was definitely clear that he wasn’t afraid to die either. He was taking a big swing and absolutely did not want to live through any outcome other than victory. So he really made sure that winning or dying were his only two options. Most of his speeches ultimately come down to the crazed ramblings of your average villain but they’re still entertaining enough. The film did a good job of showing just how unhinged the terrorists can be.

The Mayor also has a fun role here. He’s definitely not the nicest guy but he has quite a bit of backbone in this version and can back up his tough talk. The guy has a lot of unhappy constituents but he does try to help in the end. Additionally I appreciated that he had Garber’s back in the end. It seems like otherwise everyone was going to railroad him even after helping out during the adventure which would have been annoying considering just how many risks he took by this point. It would have been such a bad look for everyone.

I will say that part of the ending was a bit contrived though. The film really wanted to finish off on a personal note but it relies on plot armor with the cops not making any kind of move. Realistically I would have expected either Garber or both him and the villain to have been shot. It’s rare to see the cops just standing around while actual gunfire goes out. I get the overall message but they could have implemented it better.

The only particularly weak part of the film is the soundtrack and directing though. The opening song is so bad that you’re just rolling your eyes the whole time. Then for the directing, there is way too much slow mo to the point where you think your TV is starting to lag. Then you have the zoom ins when people talk as if this is a comedy show. The film is doing a whole lot but none of it really services the film. I would have removed all the freeze frames, all the slow mo, and definitely had less camera shaking during the event. These things just felt like elaborate distractions and they did not pay off.

Overall, This was a pretty fun movie. It keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time and the writing was really solid. In the ending I would have liked Garber to have gone home with a whole gallon of milk but you can’t have everything. It takes a very different approach from the original film in different ways and that does help to keep things fresh. It means that you have a good reason to watch both versions of the film since they won’t be ultra similar to each other. As long as they can keep it fresh, I’ll welcome more versions of the story.

Overall 7/10

Rambo: Last Blood Review

This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If you walked up to me and told me that Rambo: Last Blood was gonna be a terrible film…I would have just nodded. I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that the film didn’t go well. When a thriller series goes on for too long it gets tempted to throw in a bunch of tragedy and call it a day. A cheap revenge thriller will always cost a film a lot of points and this one just feels hollow by the end of its run. Too much damage had already been done.

The film starts off with Rambo trying to live an ordinary life. He lives fairly isolated on a mountain with a nice lady and her grand daughter. Unfortunately the girl really wants to meet the father who ditched her as a child. Doesn’t seem like the best thing to do and Rambo warns her against this. Her father wasn’t a good man and he lives in a very shady part of Mexico. Just going over there is courting death. The girl doesn’t care and heads over but things don’t go well and she goes. Now Rambo is on a big revenge tour to destroy all of the people responsible for what happened to her. Can even Rambo take on an entire army though?

Rambo gets a lot of hype in these films and he is tough but the guy definitely bought into his own hype here. He shows up at the villain’s base without any plan and gets absolutely dominated. He doesn’t even put up any kind of fight and it’s definitely one of the more embarrassing showings for a guy like this. At least later on he gets some prep time and pulls off some Home Alone tactics. It takes a long while to get to that point though. One of the big problems with the film is it feels like the whole first half is just to set the tone and show how messed up everything is.

The fights don’t really start until the climax when it’s Rambo against everybody. That part is certainly fun although the film definitely does go out of its way to be as graphic as possible. Each death tends to be like something out of a slasher type film as the characters are all ripped to pieces. The film makes sure to remind you how evil they all are first so you don’t feel bad for them but the film definitely could have handled itself in a less extreme manner. This whole film is going for the extreme angle and so of course it’s just not a particularly fun watch.

The granddaughter makes a ton of terrible mistakes and isn’t particularly smart but you still don’t want to see her going through so many trials. The movie is just way over the top mean spirited throughout so you don’t even get a breather. There is virtually no characters around so there isn’t even any chance for banter. I mean the film’s overall tone might have made that impossible anyway but with only Rambo around there just isn’t much for the film to do. He goes around murdering everyone and that’s it.

To fix the film, you’d need to completely rewrite the plot. Remove the first half and definitely tone down all of the violence throughout the movie. You definitely don’t need any of that. Maybe have at least one villain with actual goals and aspirations beyond just being super evil. I don’t need a sob story and I definitely don’t need a full subplot but maybe something about money or power. He’s basically just trying to spite Rambo by the midpoint which isn’t even a real goal. He’s just doing whatever he wants without even thinking it through. Not the most interesting kind of villains here. They just exist to die.

Also you do have to suspend a good amount of disbelief for Rambo taking everyone out. Yeah he is legendary and everything but he takes out dozens and dozens of fighters while running through the tunnels. everything had to go perfectly for him in order for this to work like them going through specific entrances and always triggering the traps on time. It’s a thriller so this kind of thing is definitely to be expected but it also means that the fight scenes aren’t as good as they could have been. Mainly there aren’t fights as it’s just the villains getting murdered by traps.

At no point do you feel like the film even has a real purpose here. It’s just going through the motions and then it’s not even doing that right with how long it takes for the fights to start. I’d say that the film was disappointing but for the most part it’s not like I went into it with any high hopes anyway. Just about everyone agrees that the film is pretty weak so this wasn’t a surprise. The film just ended up living up to its own hype and in this case that was a bad thing.

I think it’s fair to say that it is time for the Rambo series to end. There’s just not much more to do with it by this point. He’s already lost so many people and he’s also really old by this point. You can only have so many Rambo hype moments. After all, that’s why most of this film has him with homefield advantage picking the villains off. in a straight fight there would just be too many of them.

Overall, Rambo: Last Blood is definitely not my kind of film. If you want a super edgy, grim dark title then check this one out but otherwise you should stay far away. It’s one thing to make a darker film where things don’t always go well but this one goes too extremely in the other direction. Nothing goes well and the heroes just keep on getting farther and farther away. You have a reporter around who lost someone to the gangs but if you take her out of the movie then virtually nothing changes. I still find it hard to understand why you would even want to try and find a parent who ditched you, seems like that will end poorly 99 times out of 100. Meanwhile the cops are corrupt and while Rambo is saving people related to this immediate danger, it seems like this is a huge syndicate. It just paints a very bleak picture of life for everyone involved. At least I can appreciate that Rambo does not have a no kill rule since that would have made the situation even more difficult.

Overall 1/10

Plane Review

This review is of a TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a thriller and I remember seeing this trailer several times when the film was coming out. Sometimes you just like to see a fairly basic action title and this one definitely fits the bill on that level. There is quite a bit of action here and the characters have to surpass some real difficult odds. The film is fun the whole way through and the weakest aspect is really just that there aren’t any really great members of the crew outside of the main cast.

The film starts with Brodie getting ready for a fairly routine flight. He’s a solid pilot and has seen his share of action over the years. He’s flown through all kinds of weather so when the company forces him to chart a path right through a storm, he isn’t overly worried. He is less than pleased at also being surprised to find out that he will be transporting a criminal as well but doesn’t really get an option about that. Well, naturally the storm does impact the plane and they are forced to have an emergency landing in the middle of enemy territory. They are now being attacked by legions of powerful tribesmen. Can Brodie and Louis (The convict) team up to save everybody or will they ultimately fall to this attack?

I would say the film does a pretty good job at building some tension early during the flight although it was pushing it a bit to have Brodie leave the controls to check on everyone during a massive storm. I’m thinking it was to get him banged up and show how serious this was but there had to be a better way to do that. Still, once they land the film moves pretty fast. Brodie and Louis exploring the island is pretty fun and Brodie even gets to use his expert skills to get the phone working.

The first fight is definitely on the weaker side though. It was really just a long grapple and I was expecting a lot more hand to hand there. I’m thinking that’s because this was made to be a really down to Earth film so this is supposed to be what fighting is really like but I’ll take a cinematic battle any day. The gun fights we get later on are definitely a lot more solid and I would argue that’s usually rare. Typically I would expect the hand to hand battles to really be the highlight in a film like this.

Ah well, I suppose the film couldn’t do it all. On the gun fighting, I was glad they showed just how useful a good sniper can be. He took out most of the enemies on his own. If anything, I think they could have potentially won that fight outright since he just needed a few more shots. By the very end we do get into some Storm Trooper status as everyone keeps on missing but the film made clear the difference between a master operative who does this for a living and the random terrorists.

I also really enjoyed the subplot with corporate talking tough from home base. You had the sleazy CEO type guy who refuses to help no matter what since he is worried about his reputation. He would absolutely just let everybody back to die if it would help his image. Then you have the consultant who is good at situations like this. He comes in insulting everybody and gets right to business. This guy is definitely the standout character of the film because without him calling in backup and getting things ready, the heroes would have been absolutely cooked.

I’d even say it’s almost like a twist because for a while there you are basically expecting Brodie to do everything himself. Instead in this case he actually has a whole lot of backup who come in clutch to help out. It makes this into a bit of a team up film which initially you thought it would just be with the main two. They still do a good chunk of the work but they get a good amount of help against the waves of enemies. In the end it also helps with the whole realism angle.

So Brodie works well as the main character. He’s a tough fighter and never gives up as he fights on. I do think he had a pretty bad plan at the end though when he’s ready to give himself up. I get the noble sacrifice play and all but giving yourself up is never the right move. All it does it open yourself up to a whole lot of trouble. There’s rarely if ever any real benefit to doing this and you have better odds trying to fight your way out. Yeah your odds are lousy there too, but at least they aren’t 0.

Then Louis also does well with his combat experience. The guy has been around for a long time and he takes out some of the enemies right away. I was surprised if anything how shocked and hesitant Brodie was. In this situation you have to take the out as quickly as possible since jail is not an option and using lethal measures is a must. Without Louis, Brodie was definitely not going to last long here. At the end of the day Louis definitely proved himself when it counted.

As for the rest of the crew, they’re just generally awful. They panic and yell the whole time and then when they’re obviously in strange territory they still run up to the cars approaching. It’s not like it would have changed things much if they had stayed back but everyone knows not to run up to those. Then later on when it’s time to escape, they grumble about the method. None of them seemed to have any common sense or even a sense of urgency about them. It’s always rough to see the NPC type characters acting like this because you just expect better. I’ll give some kudos to Brodie’s co-pilot and one of the stewardesses but aside from them the others were just making too many bad decisions.

As you can expect given the circumstances, there is definitely a bit of a body count here. The characters are getting bumped off left and right and the film can definitely get rather violent. It’s definitely a case where I think it could have been more extreme but it’s enough to probably caution you about either way. Know that you’re getting into an intense film with this one but you could probably guess that. The film has solid writing and pacing throughout so it all goes pretty quickly. The film never lingers on any one moment for too long.

Overall, Plane is a fun film. It can definitely get rather intense and the villains are always annoying to see but you’ll enjoy it more than you don’t. While the passengers panicking and generally getting in the way may be realistic, it doesn’t make their scenes any less annoying. You absolutely do not want to get stuck with them on your side. They won’t be able to back you up at all or come in handy and will only put you in more danger. If you’re in a plane crash, you’re definitely going to want to put some distance between you and the others as soon as possible.

Overall 6/10

McQ Review


It’s time for one of those thrillers that doesn’t always make a ton of sense and people act out of character for no real reason but at the end of the day we accept this for the plot. I wouldn’t put it in the same conversation as any of the truly great thrillers but at the end of the day it’s not bad. It will keep you entertained on just how over the top it can be the whole time. McQ definitely does whatever he feels like.

The movie starts off with a cop looking corrupt and there are some shootings and handling of mysterious packages. Shortly afterwards the final cop is murdered and then we’re introduced to McQ. McQ is one of the most intense detectives out there but as a result he doesn’t play well with others. He’s an absolute solo act and I can tell you this right off the bat, you don’t want to get in his way. His partner was one of the guys who got bumped off so he wants to quickly find out what happened. He will have to get through a whole conspiracy though.

Whether you like the film or not will probably depend in large part on how much you like McQ. The guy always has a bit of an odd look on his face although I would describe it as he looks like he’s going to cry as opposed to it being a tough guy look. It’s pretty true to form with how often he gets rocked in the movie though. He walks into every possible trap and is on the back foot almost the whole time. I think he’s meant to be portrayed as an absolute powerhouse but it just didn’t come across that way for me. He had me shaking his head when he walked in on the villains and they made him drop the gun. Which time? Oh that’s tough since it happens more than once…

I do appreciate that he just beats up the villains whenever he wants but of course that makes it easy for him to be demoted as well. Then once he’s off the cops it is even harder to gather evidence…or is it? He basically has free reign to all of the police facilities and equipment anyway since nobody seems to care that he quit. He’s pals with everybody so they just laugh and give him experimental new guns. In some ways I might even say that this is super realistic but still I think it was maybe played up just a litttttttle bit more than I would think it should.

It’s at the point where they may as well have had him working for the cops the whole time because it didn’t actually impact the plot pretty much at all. He’s basically still a cop the whole time although where things get crazy is near the end as the cops are hunting him with the dog and are definitely going to injure him badly before he escapes. Makes the ending a little more interesting hehe. Again this is not a film that you are really watching for the logic so you don’t want to pay too much attention to any of that. Just remind yourself that this is just how things go when McQ is on the case.

I think the real low point for him is when he goes to get intel from one of the girls who has been on the scene for a while. You might be expecting a James Bond type moment where he woos her into revealing the info and that would be a bad enough scene but it actually gets worse for him. She basically says that she won’t say anything unless he has a one night stand with her and the guy has no rebuttal so he just goes ahead and does it. The guy has absolutely no main character energy to be letting himself get pulled into something like that. It’s such a sad scene for him and he needed to find another way. I mean it’s not like he has too many morals since he brought her some drugs to bribe her but I was still expecting a little better.

Yeah McQ is pretty shady. At least he is a good shot like when he takes someone down at the beginning of the film from a long distance. The film just can’t decide if he’s this ultra powerful vigilante or someone who is completely out of his depth. I’m inclined to pick the latter. Meanwhile his supervisor is absolutely unhinged the whole time. He tries to say that he is McQ’s friend but the actions would have you believing otherwise. He is constantly yelling and doing his best to destroy McQ while also yelling “I told you so”s throughout the movie.

In the climax we have a pretty interesting shootout but McQ forgets that he has the mega cluster gun for part of this battle. He should have used that as the cars were driving in and it would have easily murdered the driver both times. Instead he plays it safe so the climax takes a bit longer. In true thriller style we get a whole bunch of twists near the end. One of them feels like it was spoiled during the intro scene tbh but the characters don’t act like it’s a big shock anyway so maybe that’s the point.

All in all, the story itself is interesting but I dare say that the film’s leaps in logic are even more interesting. Yes, you want to see what’s going to happen but you’re more curious about what McQ is going to do next. Is he going to buy a gun while he is forbidden from owning one by the cops? Will he try playing vigilante as he chases a laundry truck down the street only to pick the wrong one? Will he even go as far as to beat someone up in the bathroom? McQ is always one step ahead of the movie audience and in a way that’s admirable. I feel like the film is 2 degrees short of going into comedy mode at times with how seriously the film portrays itself as.

Overall, I had a good amount of fun with the film. I feel like it’s not always in the way that the film had planned but hey it works for me. The film balances the seriousness of the case with a good amount of light hearted moments as well. The over the top cheesy ending is really the cherry on top here. I would recommend checking this movie out. It’s not great but as a random stand alone film it actually manages to be rather memorable. Whether you keep up with the film or not, you will certainly be entertained. Just try to make it past the unbearable romance scenes which do drag quite a bit.

Overall 7/10

Road House Review

This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

At its core, Road House is about how fighting to save a corrupt town from itself can often just result in a lot of infighting and everybody losing. You can’t really save people who don’t want to be saved and you will lose a lot in the process. The message makes sense but the whole film feels ultra empty and hollow by the end of its run. Nothing was really accomplished and you will just be shaking your head the whole time. It’s not remotely satisfying.

The movie follows a guy named James who is supposed to be the best in his field. What is his field? The guy’s a bouncer and gets dangerous bars back into shape. He is hired by a guy named Frank to fix up the most corrupt bar in the business. There are constant fights here and the villains have guns and everything. It won’t be an easy fight but James has never backed down from a challenge before and he’s not planning to start now. Good thing he knows how to fight.

It does feel like a bit of a fool’s errand though because in most cases you would only have to deal with the drunks attacking the bar and stuff. In this case, you have a corrupt guy named Brad who owns most of the town. The reason this ruins the operation is that he can literally pay people to blow up buildings and cause a stir. Naturally the police will look the other way as well and so that means James is now fighting an entire town. At this point there is no way to actually fix things.

So during the movie you have a set formula where James will kick some people out, then Brad shows up with threats. James takes more out and then Brad’s hired goons beat them up. There is rarely ever any big progress here and most of the characters really should just abandon town. Naturally it’s not that easy for everyone though so for those people I can see why they would mainly stay out of the way. If you try to help James out then you might lose everything and it’s not like he’ll help you get the money back.

Where the film just starts to get tiresome is when the villains really ramp the damages up and the hero still can’t do anything. They burn down the store of James’ friend and he is powerless to stop them. Then James murders one of Brad’s top fighters so the guy goes and murders his friends. Every time James makes a move, his friends pay the price. It was just too many people by the end so everything felt hollow.

It also doesn’t help that the romance was really weak. James initially tries to present himself as someone who has no time for romance since he is completely on the job and yet it takes very little effort from Elizabeth to break him. Seriously, I was expecting him to put up more of a fight. Then of course she wants him to lay off the danger and does a complete 180 near the end. She is really upset when James murders the right hand man but then doesn’t care once the main villain is taken out. Even though they’re related?

Her character didn’t really make any kind of sense and they should not have been together. It’s indirectly her fault that James lost his friend by the end although leaving him alone was a terrible move on James’ part once he knew that the danger was around. I know he likes to live dangerously but he gets jumped several times during the movie and never seems to learn his lesson. There are several times where he would have been dead if Wade hadn’t showed up and James initially didn’t even ask for him.

For all the tough talk about how James is the best in the business, he seems only slightly above average in a fight. I know this isn’t a superhero film but they could have still made him a little more untouchable. They never go into his origin all that much but that’s probably a good thing to keep up his air of mystery. A prequel about him actually being the best could be interesting but films like this that just drop you in the middle of the action can be a little rare at times.

Ultimately the film just didn’t execute well enough to stay on top. The best character would be his friend Wade although the guy did flirt a little too much with Elizabeth. I feel like it was to warn James to an extent but even so it wasn’t a great idea. Frank may have hired James but he was mainly useless for the whole film. Brad is basically your classic corrupt villain. He takes a lot of risks and should have been taken out but has the powers of money and good fortune on his side. Maybe even some super durability.

In the climax he gets shot so many times and keeps on moving. I was pretty surprised but I do get the message the film was going for. It was just way too little too late. It sure it easy for everyone to step up once the danger has passed but nobody got up when it counted. The scene doesn’t come across nearly as satisfying as the movie is trying to present it as. It’s the definition of a hollow victory on all sides. The fight scenes throughout the film tend to be pretty fun but the film’s tone is just a bit off. There are not enough likable characters here and by the middle point you don’t really feel like the town is worth saving either. Too many characters are just corrupt so the mission should have been abandoned.

I think there could have been a way to have handled this where James learns that lesson and leaves before it’s too late but at least with the current setup it didn’t work. The first half was a lot more interesting with the setup and seeing James slowly learn how the town works. It’s just going for a much more jaded view on the situation which to be honest is fairly realistic. It just doesn’t work particularly well as a movie.

Overall, Road House is definitely not a film that will be remembered as one of the very good ones. It did not stick the landing but had a lot of fundamental problems even before reaching that point. If anything for once I dare say a prequel about him succeeding at the previous bar would be more interesting. I want to see the main character actually showing why he is the best, rather than trying to live off of the hype and not getting very far. Even if you’re a big fan of bars, I would say to avoid this one.

Overall 3/10