Collide Review


It’s time for a thriller but this one definitely isn’t going to be the next Taken. It has quite a few issues with the biggest one being the characters involved. I did like one of the villains but the film doesn’t use him as much as you would want. There was potential all around here, but ultimately I can see why nobody really talks about this film. It’s the kind of movie that just comes and goes with no real impact.

The film starts off by introducing us to Casey who works for a drug dealer. He basically does whatever the boss says. The job is certainly not a savory one but it pays the bills. His life feels rather empty though and he desperately wants a girlfriend. So while slumming it at the nearby bar, he noticed the bartender named Juliette. She agrees to become his girlfriend real quick if he just promises to give up the life of crime. He agrees…and surprisingly gets out of the business without being shot or killed. That’s a first. Well, it’s all going good until Juliette starts acting a bit extra crazy one snowy night but it’s not the cold that gets her…but a rare condition she has which involves a lot of seizures. She will be dead in a matter of weeks unless a really expensive operation can be performed on her. So Casey decides to go back to his old boss for one last job.

Naturally this job will be the toughest one yet since his boss Geran has been feuding with his boss Hagen. So he wants them to rob Hagen but the guy has a whole criminal network at his disposal and is also a lot smarter than Geran. Casey also realizes that this is likely a setup and so he decides to hatch a plan of his own. You’ve got 3 really big players running around here and of course the leverage against Casey will be simple. Whoever can capture Juliette, will have captured Casey.

The story itself is fairly straight forward so then it becomes all about the execution. Unfortunately this is where the film starts to fall flat. First off the romance is definitely weak. I appreciate the film showing that a lot of time has passed after they got together for their bond to be strong but those time jumps should have been used at the start. Instead of Juliette being convinced to be his girlfriend after a matter of minutes, make that part take weeks. It’s a rather simple fix and just like that you would have a compelling romance.

The film also goes out of its way to make both of the characters not all that likable. They’re the type of characters who are always getting drunk, going to suspect parties, and just don’t really seem like two people you’d generally get along with. Yeah Casey went straight for a while but working for the mob the way that he did, he’s certainly been involved in a lot of suspect stuff. You can write a solid anti hero but there just isn’t any real depth to the guy at all.

His big plan also revolves around the villains being absolute rookies at their own business. To stop the truck, they have to get the best hitman in the business to get out of the safety of the vehicle where they can knock him out. No way that should have happened but then it also revolves around the camera guy deciding to take a nap and not look at the truck for a few minutes. So that’s not a good plan, it’s just absolute plot armor at its finest.

I won’t fault Casey too hard for letting Juliette get captured since realistically there wouldn’t be much he could do about that but he does get the blame for the rest of the plan. Meanwhile his boss Geran is a little too quirky. He’s hard of hearing and constantly drunk. He doesn’t always make a lot of sense and yet he wants to be equal partners with the biggest crime lord on the planet? Yeah, I can see why Hagen doesn’t take him seriously.

Hagen is really the standout character here. I like how he just talks smack to Geran right to the guy’s face. He is absolutely confident that victory is around the corner and never falters. Hagen has a bit of a weak ending but for the most part he is always a few steps ahead. The last scenes just make him look sloppy, although I’d argue everyone looks sloppy there. When you’re a big crime lord, you’re probably not going to be going to a small diner without many escape routes unless you’ve either completely bought out the police or have a private army. It all just felt a little forced but I did enjoy the banter.

The best thing I can say about the film is that Hagen is so interesting that all of his scenes absolutely jump up a level. I love when a villain is really smug like this and he definitely made sure that the rest of the characters knew just how powerful he was. Now this does result in quite a bit of plot armor on his end too, but that’s just how these things go.

For example, at one point Casey runs into a small convenience shop and the villains chase him inside. The two owners both have guns and one of them is a really good shot. Despite this, they allow the villains to raise up their guns and fire. It’s probably the dumbest moment in the film. When an armed fighter runs into your shop, you need to fire quickly instead of waiting until they take their gun out. Obviously, the villains won’t hesitate so your hesitation will equal death.

Overall, Collide has a lot of action but not a whole lot of spirit. It’s going through the motions and could have been a solid emotional film but Casey and Juliette just aren’t likable enough to be convincing. The film’s got that Hollywood style of romance where there isn’t a whole lot of build up or getting to know each other as we jump straight to fanservice and action. It comes across as superficial and a single villain isn’t enough to hold this film up. You can do a lot better when it comes to action thrillers so I would say to skip this one.

Overall 4/10

Alligator II: The Mutation Review


It’s time to see just how powerful an alligator can be! The first film was pretty terrible but maybe this one would be an improvement? I do think it was the better film although I ultimately still can’t say that it was a good one. The main problem is of course that with an evil alligator on the loose, you know that some animal violence will be soon to follow. The movie actually keeps itself a bit more tame than I would usually expect in this genre though so I will give it some credit here. Not a ton of credit mind you….but some.

The movie starts with two fishermen underestimating the terrors of the night as they are murdered by a giant alligator. This area has been heckled by the wealthy businessman named Vincent for a long while as he is trying to buy out all of the land and so they figure he had something to do with it. In a sense they’re right, but it’s not like they can prove it. So David decides to look into this as he’s used to doing things against the book as a cop. Unfortunately it’ll be difficult since Vincent has bought out the mayor and so now the cops are forced to be rather hands off. Vincent’s certainly not going to be of any help so David has to work with the rookie cop Rich in order to stop this threat. Meanwhile Vincent hires some pros of his own to do the job in the sneak. Which group will destroy the alligator first?

I guess corruption and evil millionaires are par for the course when it comes to these evil animal films. Vincent definitely carries himself well though. I appreciate all of the threats and he really did have the mayor cornered throughout the movie. Near the end he even managed to get him alone to finish the job. Vincent’s one of those villains who never let his guard down and by the end of the film it took quite a lot of people to defeat him. Most impressive I gotta say.

The mayor looked rather terrible throughout though. As soon as you let people blackmail you the way that he did, there is no way out. They’re just going to keep on doing it, over and over again until you are completely out of the running. I sort of expected that the mayor would do something but no, he just ended up staying scared all the way through to the end. His daughter Sherri had a lot more backbone as she was trying to fight against the injustice.

On the heroes side, we had the rookie cop, Rich. That guy wasn’t very good though. Letting himself get drunk is a terrible idea since a cop always needs to be ready. He also misses his shots when it counts so he’s not really the guy I would want to watch my back. He’s not a terrible character or anything but he is unreliable and that’s a really important factor in a mission like this.

David does well as the main cop. This is clearly not his first rodeo and he handles himself like an absolute professional. It’s what you would expect from the main character. He’s more concerned with justice than following the rules and that’s why he gets the job done. He has the respect of the people within the neighborhood for this same reason. The rest of the characters are definitely not able to catch him. Now the film does make it a point to show that he does take this a bit far to the point of obsession where he won’t be home much and that makes things tough on his wife and kid. He can probably find a better middle ground but at least he is getting results.

His wife also does well here as her scientist specialty helps her figure out different things like a possible weakness for the big alligator. It’s always nice to see both members of the main couple contributing like this. We also got some help from one of the local gator experts. He actually puts up a fight and lasts for a little while which is nice since initially his group was not looking very impressive at all. For a while there I was starting to think that they were all frauds.

The movie can’t avoid the animal violence in the end though as we do inevitably have to see the alligator get taken down. Additionally, it’s a shame for the gator since he doesn’t actually get a ton of screentime. Half the time when he’s eating people you aren’t really seeing him but at least his presence is felt throughout the movie. You may have been expecting a huge cliffhanger for this film like the first but surprisingly that’s not really the case.

The film also has a difficult time trying to make you buy into the main romance that is set up between the rookie and the mayor’s daughter here. I mean, finding the guy locked in the bathroom is not a great first impression and I would argue things only look worse for him from there. The main couple is already married which makes that romance a lot easier.

In the end I feel like the human plot was a lot more engaging than the animal stuff. I could have had fun with the whole thing being about Vincent trying to take over the neighborhood and shooting anyone in his way. He was clearly good at this and had the political power to pull this off. I’ll take the conspiracy stuff any day as opposed to the evil animal plot where the animal is really minding his own business and doesn’t want to fight. You feel bad for the creature.

Overall, Alligator II isn’t a whole lot of fun. It’s a decent adventure and another short film so the pacing is fine but it’s not really doing anything different with the creature. The alligator crawls around and looks menacing but that’s about it for most of the animal scenes. You are rooting for him to take down all the pesky humans invading his turf and it’s not nearly as bloody as something like Piranha. Still, the alligator is going to get stabbed and then blown to bits and you don’t want to see that. I’d recommend skipping this one. If you have to watch an evil animal film then it beats a lot of the alternatives, but it still doesn’t quite step into the realm of being a good movie.

Overall 3/10

The Mechanic Review


It’s time for a film that definitely doesn’t have a very positive aura about it. This one is satisfied with being a bit more of a downer and unfortunately that does end up hurting the film. If the film could have balanced in some more upbeat moments or maybe gotten a better main character cast then things could have been different. You may still appreciate some of the creativity in the murder tactics here but that’s about it.

The film introduces us to Arthur who is one of the top hitmen in the world. He takes out the targets that he is given with pinpoint accuracy. He has been at this for a long time and so he is fairly wealthy and has a lot of resources but at the same time he can also be a bit lonely. He has even gotten desperate enough to hire a girl for a roleplay relationship which shows just how down he is. Well, one day a guy called Steven shows interest in his work and Arthur sees that this guy is a total psychopath. So he recruits him, will this be a fatal mistake?

The first rule of being a hitman is not to trust anyone after all. You see first hand what happens to people who do begin to trust others and it’s not pretty. Additionally, Arthur quickly finds some suspicious things about Steve but looks past them. He is really hoping this will work out but I give Arthur credit for having a backup plan which is more than most characters would have in his position. Without that, I would have been considerably harsher on him.

I don’t like Arthur either way, but at least his reputation is deserved. His most impressive scene was probably at the beginning where we see him prepare numerous death traps for someone so that if any of them fail, he will have a few backups. It was a good way to set the tone of just what he does. Arthur doesn’t like flashy kills. He’s not walking around with grenades or something like that. He likes the preparation phase and making sure that things are lined up just right.

This doesn’t work so well for his bosses who like their feeling of power even more than the results. Meanwhile Steve is far less likable because he just feels more psychotic. For Arthur this feels like a job while for Steve it’s a total infatuation. We get a long scene where one of his friends decides to check out of life and see if he will stop her. Naturally he doesn’t and just makes a bunch of jokes before leaving. Yeah it was a toxic move on her part but it doesn’t make his response any less disturbing.

You may need that kind of mindset to a degree to become a hitman but it definitely didn’t help his case at all. The guy was so smug that you definitely wanted someone to be able to take him out. He makes some basic mistakes during the missions as well and never seems to have a lot of self reflection. Definitely a liability so Arthur’s bosses were right about that. Also the more people you bring into the fold, the more that things can go wrong.

While the film could be a bit dreary, I do think that the ending was just about perfect. It’s a really satisfying climax that ensures one character doesn’t just walk away. That would have probably been one of the worst case scenarios here. it’s not like a villain can never end up winning in a film. I’ve seen a few where the heroes lose out and it works well enough but this guy is one where you’re just rooting really hard to keep him from securing a victory.

The writing is good enough here. You see everyone being polite and really fake the whole time. It’s a good reminder to be careful because even if someone seems really personable and sympathetic, they may actually have been hired to bump you off. One of Arthur’s victims certainly didn’t think that one of his old friends would be the murderer but that’s how it goes sometimes. You don’t have to live in a very paranoid way or anything like that, but just keep your guard up.

If you do want to be paranoid though, this film shows the importance of setting up little traps in your apartment. Tiny pieces of paper or things arranged in a way where you’ll know if someone was inside your apartment while you were gone. There are lots of clever ways to set this up and if I lived by myself I would definitely do that. In the worst case, you’re just doing an extra 10 minutes of work every day so that’s a really good risk/reward ratio.

Overall, This film wasn’t all that good but I wouldn’t call it awful or anything. In fact if you cut out the scene with the girl bleeding to death then I think the film would have broken even. To me that moment was just going a bit too far in how bleak things were. It’s sad to see so many empty characters in this film. At least with the main two, they knew the risks here and are primed for a rough outcome, but some random person who didn’t seem all there? That was a bit much. I also would have preferred if Arthur handled himself a bit better since that fake romance just made him look so bad. It may have just been a quick scene but it was a rough moment for him. So if you really enjoy films about hitmen then this could be worth checking out, but otherwise I would say to give it a skip. There are better films that focus more on the villains.

Overall 4/10

War of the Worlds (2025) Review


Sometimes you end up watching a film where you wonder what the thought process was. Did anyone think the movie would really be a success or were they just getting the film out as a way to say they did something? Well, this one is really a trip. The writing doesn’t make sense, the plot progression is odd, and the film plays out as a big parody. That said….this is why it actually succeeds. If you watch this as a parody comedy, it’s surprisingly solid with how the characters act so genuine with their odd behavior. You’ll get rather hyped up while watching it. Trust me, this is a film that you won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

The movie begins by introducing us to Will. This guy is a pretty big shot within the Department of Homeland Security. He’s so high up that he can hack into any satellite across the planet and has unrestricted access to people’s phones and computers. He can essentially do anything. One character tries to warn him that the government is always watching and Will powerfully responds that he knows…because he is the government! Will has no regard for people’s privacy and believes that safety comes above all else. No worries though…power won’t corrupt him.

Well, one day the Earth is invaded by aliens and so the government needs Will in order to coordinate a response. They’re going to have to wait though as Will’s top priority is taking care of his two kids. His wife passed away a while back so this is what he has to do. Unfortunately his son is a big conspiracy guy so Will tunes him out and his daughter Faith is always running around and getting into trouble. Will is going to need to use all of his hacking skills to keep her safe but with him being busy…what will America be able to do about all of this?

So like I said this feels like a full parody. For example Will has more power than would be humanly possible here. This film is a conspiracy fan’s best dream because if you did actually have people running around with this level of tech, it would be bad. Then you have the fact that Will is basically blowing people off constantly to help his kids when lives are at stake. Will also takes time to click on every single pop up as news reports keep coming in.

As one point the government asks him for a plan of action and he goes on a 5 minute ramble about how we’re being attacked by aliens from outer space. The sentence is rather redundant but also they already knew that. They wanted to know what to do about it and he basically just says to fight back. Very nice. I do think it’s pretty realistic that some government agents are going to choose family over duty but the film is just so blatant here that it’s hilarious.

You want fake deaths for shock value? One character named Sandra dies around 4-5 times during the movie and always shows up like nothing happened. Nobody tends to even be all that surprised to see her. We get fake death scares for Faith and Dave at different points as well, even one or two for Faith’s boyfriend. The film loves throwing these in all the time along with some scary music to get to you. It may not be subtle, but hey it’s definitely memorable.

Will is basically stuck in the computer room for the whole film so all he really gets to do is look shocked for most of the film. He takes his glasses of and puts them back on at numerous points during the film. Each time makes it even better than the last. Additionally, he does try to leave at one point and has to give up when the doors were locked. That was a fun little suspense scene.

No worries though, we’ve also got a really fun main villain. This guy is as over the top as can be. He talks tough to his bosses about how he’s going to do whatever he wants and then totally gets away with it for ages until the film’s climax. He has absolute confidence and when Will approaches him about this, the guy takes it in stride. He just laughs about how long it took Will to catch on. I like when a villain keeps his composure like that. Sure he’s insane, but he’s not going to just back down on his convictions.

Will definitely is the kind of character who is slow on the uptake though. After the aliens are attacking and things are going crazy, he still refuses to talk to his son Dave. Even once things get crazier and crazier which points to Dave having some valid points, Will doesn’t want to hear it. He’s stubborn to the end. While the end of the movie gives him some character development, it’s also crazy how Will was so readily willing to hack into his family’s devices and completely ignore their need for privacy.

It’s like he just didn’t register that this was a bad thing at all. Meanwhile Faith was okay but not the smartest character considering that they built her up as a genius. She nearly dies by pulling an object out of her leg even though it was already bleeding a lot and in the car she goes on a speech about how Will has no power. Pretty ironic when he remote hacked a Tesla car from his room to save her live and drive her to a security checkpoint. Maybe that speech could have been left for later on.

Initially I thought her boyfriend was going to be useless the whole time because he would never show up to help her when the chips were down. Turns out he is just really slow but once he’s there, the guy does decent enough. His main asset is that the guy works at Amazon so he has a ton of high tech equipment at the ready. Without all of that, the characters would have been doomed. As for Dave, he may have been the best supporting character. For once I can’t even blame him for not telling Will enough because Will seriously wouldn’t let the guy talk at all.

I did like Sandra as well. When she wasn’t constantly dying, she was trying to sound the alert on what was going on but Will would just blow her off the whole time. It’s not like they could have done a whole lot in the span of an hour or so but at least she was trying. Meanwhile the government was mainly helpless without Will. They’d be waiting at the meetings for him to show up and were mainly panicking. It was nice to get some army fight scenes where they were doing well against the Tripods but the aliens are too powerful. They just got a bit overconfident.

The special effects aren’t half bad. The terrible camera work hurts for sure but the actual lasers are good. Make no mistake, the script is definitely better for a comedy than a thriller but at least it’s not terrible either. This is the kind of film you will have fun with. If you think too hard about it, I’m betting you will find some serious plot holes though. It’s just that kind of title. It’s not worried about things like that and is just trying to make for a good time. Ultimately I’m not even all that opposed to such a concept. It makes enough sense to me.

Overall, I’d be up for a sequel to this one. Keep it as cheesy as this one with the heroes fighting off another invasion or something like that. Maybe Will’s development could be learning that things aren’t always ultra black and white. He’s super against the government now to the point where he’s making threats against them but perhaps we’ll see how he actually needs their help in the next film. Would doing another alien invasion film feel redundant? Nahhhhh, I trust this movie to handle it well.

Overall 7/10

Love and Monsters Review


It’s time for a fun little survival film. It ended up being better than I expected as it dodged some pretty big pitfalls that I had expected it to land in from the jump. It’s a very upbeat film with some solid humor and adventure so I can easily recommend it to the average movie goer. In fact, I nearly gave it a thumbs up for the romance too but the film jumped the shark at the very end. Ah well…that’s how it goes sometimes.

The film starts off pretty quickly with nearly all of humanity being wiped out after a nuclear defense against an asteroid mutates a bunch of animals into giant monsters. These monsters quickly made short work out of humanity and the survivors live in isolated bunkers. Joel is a member of one of these but he’s not too happy. Everyone at his bunker has shacked up while his girlfriend is stuck 85 miles away at another bunker. Joel also has difficulty feeling useful at the base since he tends to freeze up all the time. All he does is cook around the base and while everyone is super supportive, he has had enough. He decides to brave the unknown and go find his girlfriend Aimee. Can he survive out there?

A few solid notes right out of the gate. I liked how everyone as really supportive and they genuinely tried helping Joel out. There were no random bullies or petty characters here. This is the end of the world so you would expect everyone to band together and not let a single person feel isolated. A minor scene about this is how they all even rehearsed how they would gently let Joel down in the event that he asked to go on a mission. Then when he decides to leave, they even make him a detailed map and everything. (Which he ungratefully only looks at for a second before putting it away)

Another thing I was glad about is that humanity didn’t just roll over. The intro states that before getting crushed, our armies did take out all of the giant kaiju. So at least they didn’t die immediately without doing anything. Additionally we were also given a good reason for why they couldn’t make a comeback because eventually we ran out of bullets and people who knew how to create more. They went more in detail on how humanity lost in 15 minutes compared to multiple movies for a Quiet Place.

Now I was going to give the film credit for the romance but like I said earlier, that didn’t work out. I think any film veteran can likely see how this journey will play out but I’m still not going to spoil it. What I will say is that for most of the movie, Joel and Aimee were fairly mature about everything. Aimee was perhaps a little tricky at times even if it was a situation where she figured it would never matter. Where it falls apart is their final scene together. Lets just say it is completely undeserved and completely destroys the whole message of the romance. Talk about one scene destroying over 90 minutes of goodwill.

It’s one of those “Hollywood” type moments where you roll your eyes. If we ever get a sequel, hopefully this has no bearing on it. As a character Joel isn’t bad. He tries a little too hard to be funny and is often cringy but to an extent that’s the point of the character. Joel isn’t your average adventure lead and is completely out of his depth. He is still earnest and tries his best though. I wouldn’t say that he’s great or anything like that but he is a good character. He gets points for how he handled the final boss as well.

Then Aimee was a bit of a roller coaster for me. She was good in the intro, took some steps back near the middle with how quickly she got drunk and let her guard down, then buttoned up during the climax. So on the whole I would say she is a good character but as the essential leader of her group, she needs to keep her guard up. Leaders have an extra burden on themselves compared to other characters and while it may feel harsh or unfair, that’s just how the job goes.

Throughout the film Joel is accompanied by his pet dog, Boy. I’d say travelling together during the apocalypse makes him a pet by the end at least, but not to be misleading, they first meet on the journey. Boy is very helpful at numerous points in the film and Joel wouldn’t have survived without him. The film avoids going for the low hanging fruit of tragedy and drama here which was really appreciated. He makes for a really fun sidekick.

In general the film was really good with the supporting characters like Clyde and Minnow who show up later on. Minnow is a little kid who is really confident and doesn’t mind letting Joel know how weak he is. Then Clyde is an expert survivor who has been surviving very well all this time. The two of them make for a great team and are also very kind to Joel. They help him learn a lot in a short period of time and get him ready for the real world. They had a very strong team dynamic between the three of them.

As for the villains we get at the end of the film, they’re a bit sudden but it made sense in terms of having a true climax. Just having some monsters show up probably wouldn’t have been as intense in this case. You definitely wanted to see the villains go down after they spent a lot of time launching electric shocks and everything. So it made for a satisfying ending there, you always like to see the monsters getting some revenge of their own as well.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It had a good sense of humor. Honestly without destroying the romance message at the end this could have even gone up one more point. With monster films my worry can be on the animal violence and how badly the monsters get damaged. This time that ended up not being a big problem. Some monsters were blown up but generally it wasn’t really done in a big animal violence kind of way. There weren’t a lot of gross moments here and it also wasn’t one of those dystopias with a really jaded view on how evil everyone would be. Sure we did get our villains but by and large the cast was solid.

Overall 7/10

Next of Kin Review

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a classic revenge thriller. You can bet that this’ll make for a pretty intense film but the whole time you are hoping that the main character will make a move. He spends way too long just being absolutely persistent in wanting proof before making a move. The problem is that when you’re dealing with really experienced villains, getting proof is not always going to be possible.

The movie starts with introducing us to Truman who is a cop but isn’t always respected by the rest of the unit. They consider him to be a guy from the mountains who doesn’t really fit in but he does his best to overlook this and just do his job. He has a pregnant wife to think about after all. Unfortunately the town is on the corrupt side with a very active mob presence and they end up murdering one of Truman’s brothers. Truman goes to the funeral where the rest of the family swear vengeance. Truman pleads with them to let the law solve this but his other brother Briar decides to tackle this himself. Now Truman has to try and arrest the mobster responsible before vigilante justice comes through.

Now of course it is best to go through the law here but we’re talking about a big member of the mafia. You’re not going to see him just show up and bring him to jail. The mafia will fight you to the death on that and odds are that they’ve got someone on the payroll within the cops. Truman basically tries the entire film to do this by the book and it feels futile at every turn. He would have really been better off helping Briar get this over with right away.

Now Briar also wasn’t very smart about this. At one point he gets all of the villains alone in a room and has the drop on them. He decides to threaten them all a bit instead of finishing them off and that was a mistake. While his main beef was with the killer and he didn’t know which of them it was, they’re all gangsters. Why not just destroy them? He could have ended the film right there. Of course they would still have other people try to get revenge and the feud would continue but I wasn’t convinced at the reasoning for sparing them. Briar is outnumbered and in enemy territory so letting them go was not a good idea.

Meanwhile Truman’s wife Jessie was unfortunately a bit on the annoying side here. She knows all about how dangerous his job is and yet she starts complaining almost immediately when the going gets tough. I thought she would be on his side and try to stay calm but she panics so much. Additionally when she is attacked, she decides the thing to do is hide in the shower with the faucet on so she can’t even hear when Truman gets into the house and is yelling for her. That means if the attackers had gotten in, she would have been completely defenseless. Not a smart move.

Like I said in the intro though, Truman is just way too passive here. Sure, he threatens the villains from time to time but they know he isn’t going to do anything. It takes several murders for him to finally take action and by then we’re in the climax of the film. It’s a better late than never kind of story here when Truman should have been taking bigger strides to avenge his brother’s murder. That is what would have really helped him to have been better here.

As for the villains, they’re fairly generic. You’ve got Joey who is quick to violence and fits right in as the gang’s number two. He gets upset when John’s son threatens to replace him on the totem pole but that guy isn’t very smart. He is completely oblivious to how much Joey dislikes him and walks into every trap. You’re basically counting the minutes until he’s doomed. John is the actual leader of the mafia and is a much more reasonable guy but also takes too long to act.

If he was more in touch with what was going on then perhaps he could have prevented any of this from happening. Instead he talks about bonds and trust but didn’t do anything to solidify them Truman certainly gave him a lot of advance warning to try and stop this and John did not make use of any of it. At that point there just isn’t much more you can do about the situation.

While Briar didn’t handle the situation too smartly at times, he was still the most enjoyable character in the film. At least he was trying to serve up justice. This is definitely the kind of film where you end up rooting for the vigilante since nobody else is really able to get results. In general though you just don’t want to be in any city where the mafia have a lot of power.

The film can be fairly violent so just a heads up on that. The kills can be rather intense, particularly the first brother who died near the beginning of the film. The overall tone is more like a classic thriller so it’s not overly dark. Especially since all of the characters know what side the others are on. There is even a comic relief character who owns the apartment that Briar rents. He gets quite a bit of screentime here to also help prevent things from getting too crazy.

Overall, Next of Kin is a good thriller but a film that can also be a bit annoying for most of its run. The main character is too passive and then the aggressive brother decides not to finish off the villains at the last second. Definitely a rough combination there. Meanwhile the villains aren’t exactly subtle here because they don’t need to be. They just run in and shoot people whenever they want to with complete immunity. When the law fails so completely like this, it’s no wonder that some characters will jump in to complete the job themselves. It’s simply inevitable.

Overall 6/10

Child’s Play (1972) Review


It’s time for a film with a lot of suspense as you know something strange is going on but you don’t know exactly what it is. Well, it definitely succeeds in being a rather eery film with the kind of atmosphere that is hard to match nowadays. That said, the resolution isn’t particularly satisfying and just about all of the characters have to consistently drop the ball in order for the film’s events to play out in this way. It makes you wish that some real adults would show up already.

The film starts off by showing us that the children in a local Catholic School have all gone absolutely crazy. They are terrorizing each other and the events are only escalating. In particular they all seem to dislike one teacher, Malley who is infamously known as Lash. The guy is a really harsh teacher, someone who demands absolute respect and holds the kids to a high standard. Another teacher named Dobbs is always saying that he wants Malley to go easier on the boys but the guy refuses. Meanwhile Malley mentions that e is being harassed a whole lot as well as his sickly mother. He blames it all on Dobbs while Dobbs says that he is crazy. Meanwhile an alumni named Paul shows up to be the new gym teacher but really doesn’t know what he is getting into.

There’s a mix of supernatural elements here as well as a more practical enemy. It’s an odd balance as you can’t totally tell where one part ends and the other begins. I assume that is intentionally left up to your interpretation. The supernatural part was also necessary because otherwise it’s just hard to believe that things would have gone this bad this quickly. There are hundreds of boys in the Catholic school and yet a huge amount of them have turned rogue. It’s all very calculated and then the victims don’t even fight back and if anything just make it easier to become the next victims. Nothing at this school really makes sense.

So that’s really a big part of the mystery that Paul needs to figure out. The guy is really out of his depth from the start though and just being away from the kids for a few minutes is enough for the next person to be turned into a victim. With speed like that, you really have to be perfect in order to prevent anything from going on. It’s an unrealistic burden that nobody can possibly live up to. And yet, that is the burden that he ultimately has to bear as long as he’s here. Honestly he should have ducked out right away but I give him bravery points for sticking it out.

He’s just not too smart about it all. Remember that at least 20 kids are going around causing these issues and attacking other students. Paul is an adult but he’s only around 20, barely older than the other students. If it becomes a 20 on 1 fight, realistically Paul won’t be able to do much of anything. Yet, he easily allows himself to be alone in an environment where there is nobody to back him up. Just no common sense there at all.

I’m also unclear why the police haven’t gotten involved. Sure, the school isn’t contacting folks, but the hospital has records and then you also have the parents who should be getting more and more vocal with how often this has been going on. By the end the situation is finally being handled but it sure took a very long while. Everyone within the school takes some blame among the faculty because they were way too lenient and slow to react.

Dobbs does his best to look like the kind teacher the whole time but does tend to lay things on a bit thick. He does a good job of always looking very concerned and only blows up on occasion. He does come off as more reasonable than Malley although that guy isn’t actually that bad. He’s strict, but never abusive or anything like that. He doesn’t lay a hand on the students and while he blasts them about their mistakes, all of the students do make a lot of mistakes. Ultimately when everyone fails like this, it does reflect most on the teacher though. So I would say he probably needs to improve on his own curriculum here.

As for all of Malley’s concerns like the terrorizing phone calls, weird magazines, etc. The main message here is to not let yourself get gaslit. When things are happening, you always have to trust yourself above all to know that it’s real no matter how many people say you’re lying. I’m a little surprised he couldn’t take a more active approach to all of this though. There is no guarantee of success for anything of course but if he had brought in physical evidence or started recording the calls or contacting the police, something could have happened. You have to disrupt the status quo at the very least. If he’s sure that Dobbs is the one doing it, then he has to do something about this or it’ll only get worse.

I would say the main thing holding the film back here is how mean spirited it could get and of course how nobody was doing anything about this. There is quite a lot of bullying going on here and since the victims can’t fight back either due to the supernatural element or full on fear, the adults had to step up. Every time they have a meeting with 0 results you have to shake your head. It felt like a film where the ending had no real hope from the beginning. So it’s like you’re on a slow ride to dark end with no hope of getting out in sight. Doesn’t quite make for the most enjoyable kind of experience right?

Overall, Not every film has a happy ending and a horror film makes that even more likely. How good these films will be can usually e boiled down to how solid the characters are and if you felt like there was at least some hope along the way. Some point where you could be having fun during the movie. That’s never really the case here and while there are several teachers, they all tend to be rather useless when it counts. The movie is very much a slow burner but when the characters are helpless to stop the impending evil, it’s not the most effective approach. If you like really sinister kinds of films with this atmosphere then you may enjoy this one but ultimately while it is a step above the average slasher kind of film, I still wouldn’t call it a good horror title.

Overall 3/10

Disaster on the Coastline Review


It’s time for a film about the dangers of technology. A bit ahead of its time perhaps but the message still works really well today. Technology is something that will always present a whole lot of issues to everyone around and this one is no exception. When you throw in the rogue human element, then things get even worse. This makes for a pretty solid thriller film with quite a lot of players involved although ultimately a lot of the plot does revolve around some characters being really gullible/naive.

The film starts off by explaining that the vice president’s wife will be taking a train since the planes are currently on strike. As a result the government wants to be extra sure that the ride goes smoothly and they send one of their operatives to wait by the central computer base where all trains and their connections are monitored. The team is annoyed to have him there but they will have to make do. What they don’t realize is that the driver of the train has been knocked out and replaced with a terrorist. Meanwhile a big time con man has escaped onto the train as well and is using an annoyed lady as his cover. All of the characters will soon be colliding.

Now I have to say that for most of the film I figured the thief was in cahoots with the terrorist. I figured he was the inside man who would be ready with distractions as necessary but in the end it was all separate. Stuart really is just trying to avoid the people he swindled and that’s why he is being so shady. Now the romance probably still should not have worked even with the relationship dramas that Paula was having but anytime someone is quickly ready to have a beer, that is a red flag. Now to be clear, the guy was cheating on her first and while she didn’t know this for a fact, the signs were there.

So you can see her wanting to find something new but this still ends up being a rebound. She also knows from the jump that Stuart isn’t an honest man. So that’s a bit of a snag in a relationship because how does she know he will be honest about that? Trust is the biggest part of any relationship and so if you don’t have that, then it seems to me that everything else will be moot right? A train ride just isn’t long enough for this to be ready for a serious relationship even with the dramatic ending. So this part didn’t feel earned.

Meanwhile the actual terrorist has things be a little too easy. For example he has to convince the other driver on the second car not to listen to everyone telling him to stop which is what will ensure that the two trains collide into each other. To a degree his excuses make sense which is that everyone else is a terrorist trying to trip him or a civilian held at gunpoint. However, the terrorist says that the helicopters outside are here to support him and you have people waving and telling the guy to slam on the brakes. I don’t know how they could have been more clear about the instructions and he still kept on going straight. That was real lucky for the villain.

It should have been curtains right there. Additionally the thief should have been out of luck right away when Paula found the briefcase with the stolen money in it. There would be no reason to aid a villain at this point in time. So both villains were really lucky all the way. Well, luck aside it does make for a pretty tense scenario. The film did a good job with the mounting danger and ho the various characters were all starting to panic.

The writing is solid with a lot of good dialogue the whole time. Even when the computer guys are arguing with the FBI agent, they manage to stay rather civil and aren’t immediately resorting to personal attacks or anything like that. It does eventually come up of course but they are mainly focused on the threat at hand which is the important thing. The blame game and everything else can happen later on.

Then you also have a subplot where corporate actually looks pretty good for once. A CEO is put into a tricky spot when the terrorist gets his company involved and the guy is quick to take charge of the situation. He could have just ignored the situation or given a generic public statement but he prioritized the lives on the train the whole way through. Even once the cameras were off, he prepared the next steps on the investigation because he actually cares about justice. You don’t always see that so it was a pretty nice moment.

In the end I would say the movie as a whole did a good job of trying to show the brighter side of humanity. When the chips were down, everyone stood up to do their best. From the Con-Man risking his life (Not like he had a ton of options though) to the snobbish FBI agent forcing himself to play nice with the technicians, everyone was trying to do their best to resolve the situation. Some films take a jaded view of humanity while others lean on the positive and the latter can certainly be refreshing at times.

Overall, This was a pretty good movie. For the most part it’s what I would consider to be a fairly low key thriller. Yes, the stakes are as high as ever and people could die but everyone involved is a professional. You’re not seeing the same level of panic as what you would see in a modern version of this story. That would be in a completely different level without a doubt. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good story. It’s a well balanced movie with a solid beginning, middle, and ending. It’s the complete package.

Overall 7/10

Live and Let Die Review


It’s time for another James Bond adventure. The Bond films do tend to be on the weaker side next to other secret agent kind of films but occasionally they end up surprising you. Unfortunately this is not one of those times. The film can be rather out there at times which is a nice change of pace for the series but it still does run into every one of the usual issues. As a result, it’s a film that won’t end up ranking all that high for you and instead will leave you hoping that the next one will be better.

The movie starts with some secret agents getting bumped off with ease so James Bond is called back into action once more. His mission is to go to New York and find out what is going on. There are ties to the New Orleans overlord Kananga who is head of a rather powerful operation. Something that could even end up overpowering M16. If Bond doesn’t stop this conspiracy soon, it’ll be all over for humanity.

One funny thing about this film is how Bond is 2 steps behind the villains at every turn. EACH TIME Bond thinks he has a lead or is about to get the drop on the villains, we find out that they were aware of it the entire time. He is captured numerous times and has to be bailed out on many occasions. Only luck and plot armor are enough to keep him safe during all of this. You’d be forgiven for thinking that Bond was a total amateur in this adventure.

Bond walks into a villain stronghold with no plan and so he is immediately defeated. Another time he sits down at their restaurant and falls into a trap. He falls into the same trap a second time later. These are only a few of his missteps. The villains really should have just bumped him off at that point but they do love their theatrics.

The villains also have the arrogance of not keeping their fortune teller Solitaire guarded at all times. She has the special ability to read the future so long as she never gets intimate with a man. Bond’s whole thing is that he has no moral compass when it comes to love but even if the villains didn’t know that, why wouldn’t her house constantly be guarded? How are you a pivotal player in a giant terrorist racket and yet you just go back to your home like it’s nothing after a mission? This naturally ends up in disaster for the villains.

Solitaire isn’t a particularly good heroine though as she relies too much on the cards. She allows them to completely dictate her destiny and yes, even her love life. The cards are also total trolls since they gave her an answer that would mean losing her powers no matter how you slice it. So in a way you could say that she never had any real chance of winning here. There is another heroine named Rosie who isn’t particularly likable either. Another easy score for Bond and someone who never really gets to prove her skills on the field.

It’s no wonder why all the other agents are constantly dying. Bond seems to e the only capable one around. That’s also a pretty sad thing since as this film shows, he isn’t all that great. He’s distracted too easily by women an doesn’t know how to avoid any traps. He is not the kind of guy that you want to rely on to save you. It’s just not going to work out very well in your favor.

The humor in the film can be pretty decent at times. When a character named Sheriff Pepper shows up, the film briefly becomes a full on comedy. The change in tone is rather dramatic but it works out well. The chase scene may be a bit too drawn out but it was nice to see the sheriff show up to yell at everybody. He really had a lot of confidence and so it made it easy for you to root for him.

I also appreciated the laughing villain who seemed to have some real supernatural abilities. He was tough to deal with and just kept on coming after Bond. This film delving into the supernatural like that also helped to increase the stakes, it’s just a shame that the villains couldn’t have been more entertaining otherwise. I also don’t really care about the tribe subplot with all the snakes. I did enjoy the New Orleans parade that would be used to bump off the heroes without anybody suspecting anything. That was a scene that I thought was actually super clever and both times it was used was really effective.

So if the Bond films could just stay away from the consistently terrible romances there might actually be something here. Have him act a little more professional. Meanwhile the opening credits song should be used more for total hype than for the fanservice. The songs sometimes aren’t even all that bad themselves but the images will have you cringing. The writing for the film isn’t all that bad either but everyone feels a little too easy. It’s at its best when the film is trying to be about the secret agent stuff. The gag where the driver was in on the whole trick was really good. That was an effective moment without a doubt and one of the big twists about the villain was also good. I would just say that for large portions of the film it didn’t feel like there was a ton of plot here. Certainly less so than in other films because this one got so ambitious with everything going on that it wasn’t always focused.

Overall, Live and Let Die is not one of Bond’s better films. It still has all the fanservice and one night affairs as the older films but without a lot of cool villains or action scenes to try and combat that. In fact, don’t expect Bond to be doing much of any fighting for most of this title. It can be funny to see Bond losing just about every encounter he does have without even putting up a fight but the actual plot isn’t nearly as interesting as it could have been. Ultimately this is a huge demerit to the film. I would recommend checking out some of the latest Bond films instead of this one. It simply doesn’t age well.

Overall 4/10

Puppet Master II Review


The Puppet Master is one of those films where you know it’s going to be bad right out of the gate. The question becomes, just how bad is it really? If it’s only normal levels of bad then it could be a lot worse but if it’s terrible like the first film then you’re in trouble. Well, I can safely say that this one is in the terrible category. There isn’t much good to say about the film and ultimately it doesn’t justify the purpose of having a sequel in the first place. There aren’t really any new ideas and once again the characters are all losing to a bunch of tiny puppets. A true skill issue if you think about it.

After the events of the first film, the puppets go and bring the original Puppet Master back to life. Unfortunately this guy has now become looney after his death and thinks that the reincarnated version of his wife is here. We then cut to a bunch of researchers who are at the murder house to find out if psychic phenomenon is real or not. The psychic they hire definitely thinks that this is the real deal and prepares to leave but gets bumped off by the puppets. The rest of the group are also in danger now and may be picked off as well if they can’t find a way to take these puppets down. Can they actually defeat them though?

Now one thing you have to remember is that the puppets are not very powerful. They are small and weak, while also lacking any kind of true offensive capabilities. All they can really do is rely on sneak attacks. There is one exception, which is the Darth Vader looking puppet which has an active flamethrower. With this firepower it can easily destroy any opponent. Whenever a human would lose to this guy I would them a little slack. The other puppets are all much weaker though so you should be able to defeat them rather easily. Even the flamethrower isn’t too tough if you are expecting it, but the real tricky thing is if you don’t know that the weapon exists in the first place. In that case, it is definitely fair to fall beneath its overwhelming might.

The humans are all rather unlikable once again though so that’s a shame. In some ways they may not be as bad as the psychics from the first film who were all really looney but these guys can’t manage to stay focused for long either. There is a lot of flirting right out of the gate and the main characters don’t really know how to stick together against the villains. As soon as the first puppet is found (shortly after murdering someone) they should have all been on high alert. Yet, they still split up a lot.

A very mysterious guy in bandages shows up and while the heroes think he is weird, they are not overly concerned. This is now a murder scene so surely anyone who claims to live here should be a massive suspect right? I dare say that a citizen’s arrest should even be in order here. Don’t give this guy any kind of freedom or you will end up regretting it later on. The characters here aren’t the brightest but at least they aren’t actively tying each other up like in the first film so that is some progress.

A big problem that they all make it taking too long though. Like when the psychic finds out that the place is evil, she doesn’t immediately leave and instead plans to go either late at night or in the morning. Plenty of time for the puppets to take her down and unfortunately, she was unable to put up enough of a struggle to get the others involved.

Then you have the next door neighbors who are rather mean for no reason. The lady does pretty well for a little while there but then of course she ends up getting overconfident and makes a big speech before going down. This is the kind of film where you know that resistance is futile and so it does take away from the struggles. While that may be true for a lot of horror films, it is the movie’s job to try and get you to feel like there is at least some kind of chance. If you don’t think that there is any chance…well that takes the fun out of it right?

As you can expect, most of the murders are rather violent. Since the puppets are small, it takes a lot of hits to finish off the main characters and usually that means the kills are really dragged out. You’re just waiting for the film to mov on to something a bit more creative but it doesn’t happen. That’s because the movie isn’t trying to do anything too creative or subversive. It’s just going through the motions in a rather soulless way. No quality writing to help you out here.

I think if the series wants to have any chance of being better, it needs to move beyond the house in the next film. Yes, we had the next door neighbors up the road, but that barely counts and naturally the cattle started dying for the main villain’s plans which didn’t help matters. Have the puppets go into the city and then we get a war against the army. Sure it would be rather campy but that’s the case for the main movie as well. At least this could give the film some entertainment value because as it is now, it’s not even funny.

Overall, This is your average slasher from start to finish. It’s really violent with most of the characters existing only to get bumped off. It was nostalgic seeing some of the puppets from the first film but it’s not like they have grown much stronger since then. It’s still hard to take them seriously as villains at all. The whole time you are just shaking your head. I would definitely recommend giving this one a skip. There is no real reason you need to watch this movie and I doubt the sequels are really going to raise the bar all that much anyway.

Overall 2/10