Pickup Review

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It’s time for a film where the main character is such a sucker that you almost don’t feel bad for him. Yeah of course I still feel a little bad for the guy but he really didn’t do anything to help himself out. When you get too desperate you start to walk into all kinds of traps and that’s exactly what happened here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Horak who is a nice enough guy but he’s feeling lonely lately. He lost his wife 2 years ago and lost his dog recently. His friend the Professor advises him to get a new dog so Horak looks around but then he is effortlessly seduced by a local girl named Betty who is low on cash and wants a free meal. He pays for all of her food/drink and then heads back home. The problem is now that he’s been with someone else again, he doesn’t want to go back to being alone. No…he can’t be alone! So he quickly marries her but then loses his hearing. He quickly regains it but pretends that it is still gone and realizes that Betty never really loved him. She just wants his money and may be preparing to murder him. What can Horak do about this?

Now I went a little fast towards the end there so lets break this down a bit. The reason why I am not too sympathetic to Horak’s cause is because Betty is not subtle at all. From the start she treats him like trash, insults his house, and generally insults him as a person all of the time. He seems to barely notice because he is so in love with her. Cmon that’s just an awful look. I feel like he has selective hearing at times because she’ll be hurling insults and he half heartedly starts talking about coffee and heads off.

You have to assume she’s not even great at being a scammer because of how she can’t keep the facade of being a nice person up for even 10 minutes. She’s just lucky that he is so desperate. That desperation is what makes him a really poor character. He doesn’t even realize that Betty doesn’t like his friend and so the guy he’s been hanging out with forever doesn’t drop by the house as much anymore. You don’t just ditch a close friend like that.

Most of the thriller aspects are from the second half where he starts to finally see how dangerous she is. The film has a massive plot hole here though. So the characters know that he is super hard of hearing so they can have normal conversations around him but have to yell to get him to hear them. Okay so that’s fine but at one point they want to test him and see if Horak can actually hear or if he’s faking. So Betty yells in his ear and Horak doesn’t react. They’re satisfied but they shouldn’t be. The whole point is that he can hear when the voice is loud enough so why would he not hear a scream at all? He actually should have reacted and their plan should have been different.

Yeah so Horak is really a bad character here. He lets Betty get away with way too much and clearly has no self respect. You can’t just accept being treated so poorly like that, it sets an awful precedent. Meanwhile Betty is a full antagonist the whole time. At first you figure that maybe she’s going to have a bit of a character arc or she’s getting through some things but nah she was just bad from the start. She even has quite the reputation about this which everyone knows about…except for Horak of course. She actually gets off real easy by the end of the film and probably wins off screen due to Horak not properly ending things off when he had the chance.

Then there’s Steve who is a really bad character. The guy is openly cheating the whole time which is already awful in itself. Then there’s the fact that he lets Betty seduce him even while he sees her seducing Horak. He figures that he’s the exception somehow and that she actually likes him but how gullible do you have to be? It’s obvious that he is the next victim in her quest and yet he allows himself to be manipulated with no resistance. By the end of the film he even starts drinking and loses control of himself. The guy’s a villain just like her and he gets off just as easily.

This is really where the film loses a point for me. It’s an interesting title to be sure but the film has a really unsatisfying ending. It’s sort of a let everyone go their own ways kind of ending but it doesn’t work when you have antagonists like this running around. You want them to go to jail or something. Instead they’re free to mess someone else up down the line. Yeah I put Steve in the same boat as Betty because you don’t go as far as he did by just making a mistake. He’s a crook same as her.

At least the Professor was a nice character the whole time but his role is surprisingly small to the point where you could cut him out and nothing really changes. I wonder if he was originally meant to have a bigger role or something because it will just leave you a bit confused as to why he’s here.

Well the writing is good and the pacing is on point so the film succeeds where it counts. The character cast is fairly small so they all get a lot to do. Horak is just a really annoying main character. Maybe that’s why the ending is unsatisfying since the writers didn’t want to give him a big win either. I can understand that but then have them all get sent to jail or something. Make up some crime that they all get framed for.

Overall, This is a good film to serve as a reminder to never let yourself get too desperate. If a situation seems too good to be true then you should look into it. Don’t settle for love either, if you find someone who is settling for you then that’s not a relationship you want to be in. As the cliche goes, you gotta know your worth. At the end of the day even if it means being alone, you need to keep your respect. Horak saved up his whole life and nearly lost it all for trying to rush things. This kind of story is taken to the extreme in a movie like this but plenty of people make this mistake in real life as well. It’s not the best Noir title out there by far but it does more right than it does wrong and will keep you engaged the whole way through.

Overall 6/10

Europa Report Review

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If I had seen this film in the theaters I would have been so disappointed. It’s not thrilling or terrifying. That slogan makes no sense here because it’s anything but that. I found the film to be rather boring with very slow pacing all the way through. Part of the issue is in the found footage way they filmed this, another issue is how they keep jumping around as if this is a poorly directed documentary, but the main issue is that the film just didn’t seem to have much point. It felt like 10 Cloverfield Lane where the whole film is just a set up to the final 5 minutes of the film, only make that the final 60 seconds in this one. So this one was definitely a swing and a miss.

The film starts off halfway with everyone panicking because the cameras are going out. There’s tons of panic and then the screen goes dark as we find out that we lost connection with the space group for over 11 hours and counting. They’re probably dead but then we flash forward to someone saying that they found the tapes so what we’re about to see is the untold story. So then we jump to the beginning where we see that the team is going on a trip to space to find any signs of life on one of the moons near Jupiter. We then flash forward again to the crew getting obliterated and then go back to the start. This time we finally stick to being linear for the most part…but not totally as we’ll cut forward several times for one of the scientists to talk about how scary this was and all of that.

So I had a lot of problems with the film but one of them is all this jumping back and forth because it doesn’t make sense. If the company is finally showing this to people as a documentary, wouldn’t they edit it so this is all chronological? Why show the same scenes multiple times when you’re going back and forth? Sure if you wanted to make the whole thing more dramatic then you could do that but it doesn’t make sense if you’re trying to clearly explain what happened. That’s what I don’t like about the film, the whole story breaks apart the more you start to think about it and that should not be the case.

This is presented in such a way as if it was meant to be a thriller film which takes you out of the immersion because it doesn’t make sense with how this was crafted. I mean the whole thing is pretty hard to buy anyway with how they even got the footage after all this had happened but hey we can endure that I suppose. This is just where you sort of have to draw the line after a bit. Then my other big problem is the whole found footage style of camera work in general.

It’s just not an appealing way to watch the film. The screen is too small and there’s not enough freedom of movement. At least they didn’t throw on shaky cam in addition to that for the most part but this kind of style can at most be bearable if the characters are amazing. If you have a 10 star cast who just dazzle you with their quick wit then maybe you can survive but otherwise with characters that are mainly just generic and a bit lifeless this doesn’t do wonders for them. I need some cinematic camerawork and I needed it right away. The film is losing a lot of points right out of the jump due to this.

Then we come to the main problem which is just that nothing really happens here. The film isn’t even that long but it sure feels long with the crew doing endless safety checks and looking at the monitors. When they finally go outside it’s not like we can see all that much because it’s always very dark and gloomy out there. Yes it’s realistic but most importantly…it’s not that fun to watch. So the film has to take a big L there which is unfortunate. A film’s top priority is to be entertaining to the viewers and so when that goes wrong there really isn’t anything to save the experience. That is absolutely rule number 1.

None of the characters ended up being interesting either. Sometimes I wonder if this is a side effect of the found footage style because in all of those movies everyone tends to come across as really boring which doesn’t make any sense. Sure they tell some jokes here and there, they have disagreements about what to do, but they just barely feel like characters. It feels like the same dynamic you’ve seen in just about any space movie. At the end of the day they get distracted when they see something sparkly and end up getting crushed. Also what kind of a space station doesn’t have a decontaminating room.

That whole sequence made no sense. So some space junk got on one of the guys so he can’t go back onto the ship. Okay….but the whole point of the mission is to land on the planet and do some exploring/mineral gathering. So nobody realized that there was a possibility they would pick up something or touch something contaminated? Cmonnnnnn this just felt like they wanted to go for some drama. The classic moment of one guy having to drift off and slowly die in space is definitely a common one that is used a lot but it’s not something that would enhance a film.

Overall, This was a pretty bad movie if you ask me. Just the fact that it was really boring is enough to doom it but throw everything else in and it’s really a wrap. I did like the visual we got at the end of the film so if they make a sequel that’s an invasion/action thriller title then I would check it out. Otherwise this one tried way too hard to be super low key and while you could do that as a comedy, it doesn’t really work so well as a serious space thriller. There’s just nothing to get thrilled about and seeing the characters start to cry or break down mid documentary makes the whole film feel like it’s trying too hard.

Overall 3/10

Antz Review

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It’s time to look at a film about Ants. This is a pretty fun one that has some really clever dialogue hidden in there. It actually gets a little more intense than I could have figured and it’s clear that this film was ready to push the envelope a bit. While the animation may not be the strongest, I would say that the film holds up pretty well overall thanks in large part to that strong writing. This isn’t a film that will be easily forgotten or that you could mix up with a different title.

The movie starts with Z explaining to a doctor exactly why he feels so sad all of the time. He doesn’t want to be a mindless worker Ant just doing what he’s told. He wants to live a little, explore, and just do his own thing. The problem is that this is not how the ant culture works. So they hope to get him back with the program soon. One day he gets to meet Princess Bala when she breaks the rules to hang out at a bar and he is so determined to see her again that he switches places with his friend Weaver so he can be with the soldiers. This leads Z to be included on a suicide mission where everyone dies except for him. So now Z is considered to be a massive hero and that also makes him a big target as the main villain is hoping to create a new colony that revolves only around the soldiers. He would rule it of course and so the queen will ultimately need to be taken out of the picture.

Z uses Bala as a hostage to escape but now the two of them must survive out in the wilderness. Additionally will anyone stop the general or is the colony going to fall? One thing’s for sure, Z cannot let his guard down at any point. He’s already not a fighter after all so one wrong move and he’s really doomed. As you can expect he doesn’t get along with Bala much at first. She finds him to be too low in confidence, generally annoying, and someone who can never stay quiet for more than a few minutes. On the other side he just wants to be free now and leaving the colony was the best thing that could have happened to him. He does not intend to return so she will have to try and make him.

We have some decent banter here and so it’s a fun part of the movie to have them on the run. That said, the romance is definitely more on the rushed side here. Nothing happens that actually convinces you they could really be friends much less more than that. It just doesn’t seem likely especially with the rough start. He basically did kidnap her before so how do you really come back from that? He also just seems to not really be her type in general.

Bala also is a little slow on the uptake like when she outed herself going to the bar by mistake when she recognized Z. You’d think she would have been more subtle about it considering that she knew she would be in trouble for this. Ah well I guess she didn’t think that part all the way through. By the end of the film she’s more reasonable. Originally I thought Azteca was going to be the main heroine here so I was surprised to see her role be so small but she’s a fun enough character. I was also glad that Z had someone to stick up for him in Weaver. That guy was a good friend all the way and someone you could trust. Even when he was beaten and interrogated he would stay strong until someone else was in danger.

The whole plot of the ant revolution was also pretty fun. It showed how all they needed was one ant to make a big move and then they were ready. They probably should have questioned their destiny a lot sooner tbh but better late than never right? It’s still progress which is always good. It’s hard to imagine having to live such a confined lifestyle where you just do things because they’re all expected of you and you have no real free will. Of course within the film’s context it makes sense because they’re all ants but you can also say it’s a metaphor for how some people just do things without knowing the true reason why. Always stay alert and question everything!

Like I said the animation isn’t great or anything but it looks good enough. The character designs are on point and you do know what is happening all the way through. The soundtrack is a little more impressive with a fast tune that pops up early on and it stays energetic the whole way through. This is a fast paced movie that always has a lot happening and that’s absolutely one of its strengths. On a technical level the film is still good and of course like I said the writing is on point too. It’s a film that will give you a good amount of laughs and has a strong sense of humor all the way through. The film is also able to adapt and get serious when needed.

Overall, Antz is a pretty good film. I would even say that it is the complete package. It has everything you could want in a film from good characters to solid humor. The action gets pretty intense as well and we even have a real war scene. The film’s characters are just human enough where I’d say there is no real animal violence here but the body count itself may still surprise you a little bit. This is definitely not the kind of film where everyone has a happy ending. That much I can tell you for sure. I’d be interested in more films in this continuity but this one did pretty much explore everything. I don’t think it really left a lot of meat on the bone and had enough happening where it really filled in the full run time with no issues.

Overall 7/10

Escape from Alcatraz

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It’s time for a movie about one of the most dangerous prisons out there. If you land on Alcatraz then it’s all over in most cases. It’s a life term where you may try to find a way to break out but it’s not likely to happen. Of course when you piece together the title with how this is based on true events you may start to think about some things but lets not worry about that for now. Escape is supposed to be impossible.

The film follows a guy named Frank who gets sent to the jail. He’s had a history of escaping from many such prisons over the years but the warden is confident that he’ll break Frank. In this prison he makes the rules after all so whenever Frank starts to get friendly to someone, the Warden will move them away. He allows fights to start so he can punish both prisoners and then he also does random inspections to make sure nothing is being smuggled into the cell. Well, Frank is confident that there has to be a way out and he won’t rest until he pulls this off.

I’ve seen quite a few prison break films in my day and if you count sequences in a film not about that, then add that number up even more. That said, this one has to be a lot more toned down and realistic than those to try not to make you suspend your disbelief too much. So the prison doesn’t have fancy laser barriers or anything like that. It’s basically just a normal prison that is super disciplined but when you think about it, that’s all a prison really needs. You’re in a cell where you can’t easily plan things out with all of the interruptions and what you see is also so narrow that it’s difficult to really map everything out in your head.

Getting out of your cell is just the first part. You have to remember that you’re surrounded by water and have to get past a ton of guards who are all armed while you aren’t. So you need a boat, supplies, and basically a lot of luck on your side. Without that it’s game over. It’s also functionally impossible to do this on your own so you’re going to need some friends. Only problem is that these friends are also crooks and may not be the most trustworthy sort in a pinch. Worst case, one of them will rat you out in the end in the hopes of some kind of reward and then you will really be out of luck.

Now it’s hard to say just how accurate the film is to what happened because even in real life I don’t think we know exactly what happened. It’s why the ending is so vague, did the escapees really survive or did nature take them out? It would be nice to know but I suppose it’s anyone’s guess. The fact that they could break through was the important thing. Now, based on how soon after Alcatraz closed down, I wouldn’t be shocked if things had started to get lax around the place which made the job easier.

When the Warden changes, typically a lot of personnel will change and a ton of protocols will be updated. It’s possible this guy didn’t really know what he was doing and left a lot of openings to be exploited. It does seem like a bit of a stretch to give inmates axes, hammers, and other weapons for construction but it sounds like that’s been the case for a long time so I guess you just roll with it.

Frank does well as the lead character here and plays a large role in making the film entertaining. He’s the kind of guy who always stands up for himself and doesn’t let anyone mess with him. It’s easy to picture him breaking any kind of law if someone was inconveniencing him or just if he felt like it. The scene where he takes out the bully who was preparing to attack him was great.

Most of the side characters don’t get quite as much to do. The only other standout was English who did good in preparing Frank for what was coming and really giving him a chance here. It does feel like Frank would not have made it without him and the exposition the guy had at the ready. The cellmate with the rat also seemed like a good guy. Perhaps not the strongest ally physically but he had a lot of connections which is important here. I always find it interesting how a prisoner gets so much influence and materials to barter with but apparently there is a whole underworld economy going on so those things just happen.

The film can be a little intense but not nearly as intense as you would expect. Given the rep of these maximum security prisons you often expect to see a whole lot of inhumane stuff going on and everyone being crazy but that’s not really what happens here. Yes, you do see some stuff but the details aren’t extremely vivid and the film doesn’t dwell on it which is good. You know enough to reason out the rest which is the proper approach.

Overall, Escape from Alcatraz is a pretty solid prison film. It keeps you engaged all the way through and also shows you what a rough place Alcatraz is without getting needlessly dark at times like in Shawshank. You understand exactly why Frank needs to get out of there as soon as possible. While you are an inmate there you don’t have your basic human rights and privileges. So you need freedom at any cost and as many know, freedom can be worth the risk of death. The whole process of planning out the escape is pretty interesting so you should definitely check it out if you’re wondering how this went down. Perhaps not exactly the way the film presents it but probably close enough.

Gravity Review

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It’s time for a film about outer space. It goes with the very bold option of trying to have a very small cast but ultimately this was not the way to play it. I like outer space as much as the next guy but for just about any film you need a lot of banter and characters to be trying to outmaneuver each other. Most of this film is really just the main heroine trying to survive and as a result there isn’t a lot going on here.

The movie starts with Matt, an expert at this kind of thing and Ryan, our main heroine who is also an expert at least on the theory level but hasn’t really had to go into space like this before. It’s all going routinely until a big chunk of debris knocks the life out of everybody with Matt and Ryan being the only survivors but very quickly this becomes Ryan’s solo mission. She has to try and get enough systems back online to get back to Earth but it’s not easy as this was never meant to be done by one person. Can she surpass her limits right here and now or is it all over for her?

So the main problem here is basically what I said in the intro. There is only so much that you can do to fill out a whole film with just one character. It works in the anime/light novel format because you have a ton of inner monologue from the main character but in films that doesn’t usually happen. If Ryan was constantly thinking about what to do next, making plans, etc. then that would be a different story. It’s just pretty rare for you to see that in a live action film because it’s really just not the way that the stories are typically crafted. Also the genre is a bit different, it might not be super organic to see her thinking about plans and such when she’s just been thrown into this situation.

I’ll take entertainment over realism so I’d have been cool with it of course. The best part of the film is really the intro because I enjoyed Matt’s character and seeing just how hard he tries to help her out the whole time. He really did his best in a tough situation and never made her feel guilty or anything with what happens to him. So that guy was a standout character all the way. Ryan’s also a solid lead and came through when it counts but since part of the film is really about how this is her first time, she does understandably panic a whole lot more. Ironically Matt would probably make for a worse main character since he would just be silently doing everything and the film would become a silent flick real quick.

I’ve seen a few other films like this where it’s just one character for most of the film and so far they just never really work out. It’s just not a genre (Eh this would probably be considered a sub genre at least right?) that works for me. You do get some nice visuals of space of course. There isn’t much of a soundtrack since space is quiet and all but they tried hard on the technical side. The writing seemed good enough when there was dialogue as well although we just don’t get to see that for very long.

Okay here’s what I’ll say for the film. It’s a terrific writing prompt. It’s interesting to think about what you would do if you were stranded in space and how you would survive. You could absolutely make a whole book series about it as you slowly learn to grow crops/artificial food within the spacecraft, water, etc. Maybe you live for years on your own before people come to rescue you. It would really test your creativity.

It’s just that watching a film about it ends up being super boring. There’s no way around this, you’re not really given anything to wrestle with. No themes to discuss, no dialogue to rate, no fights to enjoy. There isn’t even much variety in scenery since she is stuck in the ship all the time. It just feels like too passive of a viewing experience. I need to be thinking about something, absorbing things so I can be running scenarios in my head. Otherwise it’s sort of like you’re just watching the main character walk around and it’s not super engaging.

Even the review feels a bit repetitive after a while because it’s like I’ve only been talking about one thing the whole time. Well, that’s what watching the film was like. I do want to underscore that it’s not a bad film, I’d just say that it’s not a good one either. It’s perfectly stuck right in the middle unable to move one way or the other. It’s not interesting enough to wow you or anything like that but it doesn’t commit any huge mistakes nor is it overly boring. It’s uneventful but I’ve seen some films that are truly boring and I can tell you that this one shouldn’t be considered to be in that same league.

Overall, Gravity is a film that takes an interesting concept and tries to execute it but it just doesn’t work in a movie context. I think this would be far more interesting to read as a book. If you are really into space or aspire to be an astronaut at some point then this film should hold a lot of extra value because I imagine they did consult with experts on a lot of the science so it’s more or less accurate. It’s a good idea to at least think about what you’ll do if you’re ever stranded. Me though, I plan to stay on Earth for the duration of my life. Space travel or going underwater are both things I’ve never been tempted to try and definitely would never do even if you paid me. I just need the solid Earth beneath me at all times with breathable air. The most dangerous hobby I’m into is competitive eating to be honest.

Overall 5/10

Behind Enemy Lines Review

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It’s time for a film that reminds you of just how dangerous it can be to be caught behind enemy lines. Trust me that’s not a situation that you ever want to be in. It makes for a pretty action packed movie with a lot of chase scenes and having to avoid enemy fire. I had a pretty good time with it and would recommend checking it out to anyone looking for a solid action movie to watch.

The movie starts with Chris really looking forward to his current tour ending. He had been hoping for a lot of action and excitement as a pilot but instead he’s mostly just had to do a lo of flying around empty areas. No gunfights or anything like that and he doesn’t appreciate the peace. Well one day, he ends up flying a little far out and gets shot down by the opposition. His partner is executed and he barely escapes into the wilderness. The US is in a tough political battle with this country and so with the treaty nearly here they don’t want to risk anything setting that back. So despite having a soldier on the run, the higher ups forbid Admiral Leslie from stepping in. Leslie wants to help but needs to figure out a way to do this. Will assistance be in time for Chris or is he truly on his own?

Now if this was a power fantasy film Chris would just defeat the whole army and keep it moving but of course that wouldn’t be super realistic. Best we can do for you here is have Chris be able to outrun the entire army and dodge all of their bullets. A pretty impressive feat in and of itself though. You’re going to see a lot of scenes of everyone trying to murder Chris and he’s just too fast for them. He moves through the forest like it’s his own backyard and he’s also able to use the mud to his advantage so that he can hide even while they are right on top of him. So yeah pretty impressive all around.

This film will have you stretching your disbelief quite a bit with how it’s handled but it does make for a very exciting movie which is always a good idea. It does come at the expense of the hype for one of the villains though. This guy is supposed to be an expert sniper, the best in the business and the film hypes him up as a huge threat. The problem for the guy is that ultimately when the chips are down he isn’t able to hit Chris. He has Chris straight in his sights and misses every single shot. Really a bad look for the guy since he’s a sniper and shooting at someone should be what he does best. It definitely had me a little confused I have to say. Just feels like the villain should have been handled a lot better.

There’s also another scene where he gets really lucky. Basically the villain who was with him steps on a land mine and asks him for help. The sniper says nah and start to walk away. The first villain should have just tried to run or make a jump for it then and blown them both up. No way you just let the other guy get away like that right? It would make no sense and just makes you look bad for accepting that. You have to keep your dignity in tact. All of the villains were on the weak side here to be sure but you can’t just take that. You have to make a move.

Meanwhile Leslie was a good admiral. He definitely did try to do the right thing throughout the whole film but it just wasn’t so easy. Every time he was being stopped on all sides by other officials. The film was definitely trying to show a lot of corruption within the government here like one guy in particular who seemed to be working with the terrorists the whole time. I was surprised at how easily he got off after it was all said and done. I guess there just wasn’t a strong enough case against him and he probably blamed it on someone else but that was unfortunate.

It was nice to see Chris actually get a little help as the film went on from the resistance. Usually it feels like nobody’s around at all and so the hero is really on his own but even just having one person makes a huge difference when you’re on the run like that. The crazy thing is that Chris could have really saved himself a whole movie if he just hadn’t yelled when they blew up his partner. I get that he was feeling pretty stressed and shocked when that happened but at the same time he really didn’t need to yell like that. The scene took so long and was so drawn out that it’s not like he didn’t see it coming. So he should have been prepared for that moment from the start.

If he doesn’t make a sound then nobody finds out and he has a really solid head start over to the extraction point. Even with the moles and traitors running around, I don’t think anyone would have had time to stop him before he escaped. So it was really a turning point in the whole movie right from the start.

Overall, This is definitely an exciting film with a whole lot of action the whole time. The pacing is on point and while the character cast isn’t huge, they work well enough. The movie is definitely at its best when it is really focusing on the thriller aspects of the title over the drama but handles them all rather well. It has a lot of fun with slow mo scenes and tons of camera cuts all over the place to really make you feel the intensity. This is absolutely more of an action film than your classic war title so keep that in mind when you’re watching it. I’ll be curious to see if any of the sequels can match this one. In theory you can just keep reusing the same plot over and over again so it’s all going to come down to the execution. Give me enough fight scenes and you absolutely have a chance after all.

Overall 7/10

The Bible: In The Beginning

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It’s time for a pretty big epic. This is easily one of the longest films that I’ve ever seen and as a result it is able to cover an impressive amount of content. It starts from the actual start of the Bible and covers 22 entire chapters. Most impressive I have to say and it’s rare to see films be so long even nowadays so the length still holds up. It’s a great way to continue to spread the gospel and hopefully get more people to tune in and experience the events.

Of course the first big event involves Adam & Eve as they were in the Kingdom of Paradise but ultimately Eve gets tempted by the servant and then tempts Adam into sin. With the two of them thrown out, human history is really able to begin. We get to see the Earth flooded during the days of Noah, Sodom getting obliterated along with the lady who ended up looking back, there’s the Tower of Babel where humanity was scattered, and of course the offering where God tested Abraham to see if he would slay his only son.

A lot of pretty heavy subjects here and the movie isn’t really toning any of it down. So it keeps the same amount of power you would expect to see here. The movie did a good job of staying very faithful to the original source material and it’s easy to understand so even if you haven’t read the Bible you will know what is going on. Of course in that case the ending isn’t exactly definitive as there would have been sequels to cover more ground. Regardless you would need to read the Bible at some point so this could be the launch pad into doing that.

Of course that also means this film can be a little on the violent side, some parts can be a bit disturbing, etc. Films based on true events are often treated very leniently on the ratings scale. A documentary in particular could be rated G when it’s got more content than would ever be allowed in a PG-13 for example. This one isn’t like that but just to say you always want to keep your guard up for those films. The message is important so it’s worth watching regardless but if it does sound too intense you could always just use the Bible. That way you avoid all of the other extra details and keep things as simple as possible. After all in the end there is no source better than simply reading the Bible itself.

The most focus here is probably given to the events of Noah or at least it felt that way. We really see what effort it took to get all of the animals onto the ship and then to take care of them. They all behaved rather well but it’s still a ton of manual effort as you have to get the food and drink ready and do this at a good time for all of the different species which have different eating habits and everything. Throw in the fact that you’re all trapped in a boat and it will also fray the nerves after a while. No matter how big the boat is, you will want to rest on solid ground after a while. Noah’s faith was ultimately found to be strong enough to get past this though, he never wavered.

All of the greats had one thing in common which was an unwavering faith in God. They would serve him no matter what and never questioned the orders. Abraham had the toughest challenge by far in having to prepare to murder his own son as well. Even across the whole Bible there aren’t many challenges or trials that were more difficult than that. Abraham came out on top though and he is remembered very concretely for that reason. Even many books later he would still be mentioned which shows just what a pivotal role he had in the Bible.

Overall, I definitely haven’t seen a film that dove into Genesis in quite as detailed as this one did. It really held nothing back and made full use of the long run time. It’s a film you really want to absorb so don’t hesitate to pause or take a break whenever you need to do so. The writing is on point and while the film will get really intense at times, it’s the kind of thing you need to know since these are all very important events from the past. Hopefully some day they will be able to make a Movie series that covers the entire Bible. It’s so long that it would certainly be a daunting task but surely at some point someone will be able to pull it off. In the meantime at least we have had a lot of movies over the years covering different parts so that is a blessing in itself.

When the Game Stands Tall

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It’s time for a film based on a true story. Those are always pretty interesting since they tend to feel a lot different from the average movie. Also since the film is based on true events you’re always wondering just how close the movie will play things and what it will choose to exaggerate. After all it is basically inevitable that it will be dramatizing some things. In the end this one seems to do a pretty good job. I don’t know a ton about the real events to be honest but this all played out in ways you would expect it to. The main weakness to the film I’d say is that it tries to do too much at times and stretches itself very thin as a result.

The movie starts with showing a quick montage of the Spartans winning over 100 games. They finally get to the end of the season and win the final game when it counts. Bob is a bit concerned though because the younger players don’t seem as invested in the team and only care about the record. Without all of his best players, it may be time for the dynasty to end. The stress also kicks in and his heart weakens to he is forbidden from coaching for a while. He will ultimately have to choose between his team and his family.

It definitely has to take a great toll on you to have a winning streak that is so huge. You know that such a streak is very unlikely to ever be broken or topped so when it finally ends everyone will be crushed for a while. Logically you know that they have to lose at some point but that isn’t a great consolation for anyone who would happen to be on the team.

Bob is a good main character who only really makes one big mistake during the film. I appreciated how he was always ready to help the team both when they were on the field and when they were off it. He seems like a good guy in general who was trying to do the right thing. The only time I thought he wasn’t great was when his son wanted some advice and Bob refused to give him any at all. Yes, Bob can’t go onto the field because of his heart condition but not being able to help your son with a simple question when he’s finally about to start on the team for the first time? Now that’s really just being unreasonable and the film never really ended up portraying this as a mistake.

Bob doesn’t get a chance to apologize for this and it felt like an oversight. Then his wife wasn’t thrilled with his coaching the team which seems rather sudden. Perhaps if they started dating before he was a coach then that could make sense but if he was already coaching then that’s just annoying. It’s always a plot that I’ve never liked because you knew what this was going to be like before getting together or at least you should have had a really good idea.

Naturally the film did need some drama here to keep things from being too easy but I felt like we already had a good amount of that from the one player getting murdered out of the blue, Bob having heart issues, and the family going on a losing streak. That should have been enough if you ask me but as always the disclaimer is that if this is how it happened in real life then there’s not much you can do. I suspect the film had a good amount of liberty with this though. It’s just a hunch but that would be my assumption.

Overall, This was a pretty good film. It’s very by the numbers so what you see is what you get and for that reason I don’t imagine anyone having too much of a problem with it. The biggest issue in a way is just that it plays things so safe that it’s not terribly exciting at times and you feel like it probably would get overshadowed if someone else ever wanted to adapt this story themselves. The movie has some solid themes in it like learning to stop playing for yourself and being a team player which are always great but you’ve probably heard that before. At times some of the characters could be a bit unreasonable and some plots don’t get great resolutions but hey as a whole I still enjoyed this film. It does a lot of things well and goes by fast. Additionally the Football scenes are a lot of fun as you would expect. Next time I dare say they should focus even more on that since there isn’t as much Football screentime as you might expect.

LIMBO Review

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All right it’s time to look at a game that was pretty well known for a while there. It’s the year 2024 now and the veil has been lifted on T rated games. They’re all on the table and this is an interesting one to be one of the first big picks particularly as I had a Nintendo gift card with some cash to spend. The game was actually on an 80% off sale which is pretty impressive. The puzzles can definitely be tricky and the game itself is certainly going for a horror vibe but ultimately I did think the story is what holds this one back. It can get a little too disturbing.

The game starts off with a kid waking up in the middle of a very shadowy area. He doesn’t really know what’s going on but proceeds to explore deeper in. He comes across a bunch of kids who want to murder him for some reason as well as a giant spider creature. There are tons of death traps all over the island as well so whatever is going on, it seems like he isn’t meant to leave here alive. Can he possibly escape or in a way is it already all over for him?

This title’s fairly short but how short it is will definitely depend on how good you are at the games and the puzzles. I imagine the length will vary a whole lot as a result of that. Some of the puzzles definitely stumped me for a long while. I would fall for a few of the traps where the puzzle had an “obvious” answer that just didn’t work perfectly so I kept trying to force it before I realized that was the whole point. It was a red herring and then I’d solve the real puzzle.

The actual platforming itself isn’t as hard as the game’s controls are pretty precise. The puzzles are where the real meat and potatoes are but the game will also test your reaction times with the various traps. I would usually die against them at least once when they first popped up but then you’re ready on the next go around. It’s just hard to have an optimal run the first time you play the game because you just aren’t prepared for these things yet.

The graphics are intentionally going for a very retro style here. There isn’t a lot of details and most of the stages are covered in shadows so they aren’t particularly impressive. It’s a stylistic choice that works well with the horror elements though. As a result there also isn’t much of a soundtrack. There isn’t much replay value to be found here either since the game basically just loops like an old arcade game. I suppose it’s possible that it’s not a true loop and there would be some kind of new content in the second run but I didn’t really check that out.

So mainly the only issue with the game I’d say goes back to the story. It is rather disturbing with how graphic each of your deaths are as you get hit by the spikes, chomped up, etc. Even more so by the fact that you are playing as a kid so there’s not a whole lot that he can do to defend himself. The game could have dialed that back a little bit if you ask me. There was a game where you were made of shadows that was similar but it didn’t hit as hard because he wasn’t physical. That would have been a good idea here or maybe aging him up more.

It just felt a little too out of pocket having the kid get destroyed/dismantled like this. It takes away a little from the experience where you are enjoying the platforming but then feel bad every time the character gets destroyed. The death animations can also be a little on the long side as he is dragged away or slowly broken which doesn’t help matters either. The game succeeds in being suspenseful and in getting a tense atmosphere but should have kept it more in that arena than going Ham on the violence as well.

Overall, LIMBO is a very unique game but it does try getting a little too edgy at times and the very short play time doesn’t help matters much either. It is priced very low right now while on sale but at its normal full price (Which is still far lower than most games) you’re not getting a ton of bang for your buck. Games that let you sort of imagine the context and fill in the blanks while playing are fun as I like being able to flex my creativity like that but this one did end up missing a bit more than it hit.

Overall 4/10

Pikmin 2 Review

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It’s no secret that I really didn’t care for the original Pikmin and it’s part of what made it take so long for me to get the sequel. Well, that and the fact that the sequel was really overpriced but still I took the plunge and it all worked out. Pikmin 2 manages to improve on all of the issues that I had with the first title. The day system of the game just ending has been removed which is excellent and the gameplay is also a lot smoother. So the unthinkable happened and I actually had a lot of fun this time. Yes, I was just as surprised as you are and so now I’m actually ready to jump into Pikmin 3 soon after all of these years.

Well, the plot starts off with Olimar’s boss racking up a ton of debt. Unfortunately these debt collectors mean business and his life will be over if he doesn’t raise $10,000. Fortunately there is a planet nearby with a lot of treasure so Olimar gets sent over there with a rookie recruit. Can the two of them earn the money needed to save the company or is it all over? One thing’s for sure, they won’t be welcomed back until they have the cash.

So that’s the goal of the game and it’s part of the fun in how this one plays out because there are different ways to earn money. Naturally the easiest way is by finding treasure, each treasure generally gets you 100 coins. So rack up 100 of those and you will hit the $10,000. Now it’s not always so straightforward, some treasures are worth more than that and others are worth less but it roughly adds up. Some treasures end up giving you permanent upgrades as well like the ability to survive fire or electricity. Then you can also bring enemies back to your ship for money. The weakest ones will only give you one coin while others can give 10 or so.

It’s a long process but if you are absolutely stuck and unsure of how to defeat the latter worlds, you could in theory just farm money on the first few levels as much as you want with the enemies. Ultimately I didn’t do that but it does give you an extra sense of security that it’s possible. The best feeling in the game was definitely finding a new cave which is basically how the dungeons work in this game. The average cave has 7 levels in it and each level has 1-2 pieces of treasure in it. So you’re looking at around $1000 or so in the caves and they were massively helpful in getting to the end. I still had 1 cave I hadn’t unlocked yet by the time I beat the game which shows how generous they are with the treasure.

Now they are also pretty dangerous though. If you die or lose all of your Pikmin when inside of a cave then you lose all of your treasure. There’s no auto save when losing though so feel free to reset the game and try again. Of course sometimes it won’t matter because for example the exit is blocked by a gate that requires 10 Pikmin and you only have 3. At that point you just have to hold the L so always make sure you have a decent amount at the ready.

I realize I haven’t talked much about the gameplay. So basically you command a ton of Pikmin that you order to attack enemies, destroy obstacles, and carry treasure. The controls are fairly intuitive, you just point and they do the task or you can throw them to have them attack quicker. In this respect the game is even better than the original and the 3rd game as you always feel like you have total control. The Pikmin may die easily but they fight hard. The only tough part is getting them to stay single file behind you as they tend to fall into the ocean sometimes. That could always be annoying and in general water is the toughest obstacle for that reason. It can be hard to plan around that.

The most annoying part of the game has to be losing a bunch of Pikmin at once though. Like lets say you do drop them in the ocean or a boss eats most of them. It can take a full 2-3 days cycle to get your numbers back up and that feels a bit tedious. I only had a full wipeout a few times at least so it wasn’t too bad but one quality of life update I would do is making it so that as you progress through the game you actually start off with more Pikmin. Instead of only getting 1 of each type after a wipeout, maybe 5 of each type. Some kind of progression system that rewards you for playing so long.

The graphics for the game are pretty solid. I don’t know that I’d call it Nintendo’s finest work or anything like that. It doesn’t look as sharp as the Mario games but you do always know what’s going on and I like the level designs. The soundtrack is much more on the forgettable side and could be better though. You won’t be humming the tunes or anything like that. It’s a much more low key kind of adventure.

Overall, Pikmin 2 is a pretty good game. I actually don’t have many complaints with the title and I think it did a good job being a resource management type of game. Really what it’s just lacking at this point is more of a story. I think you could have absolutely had more cutscenes since we really just got an opening and an ending here. It would give you more of a reason to get invested beyond just enjoying the gameplay after all. Give me that extra boost and we’re all set. As it is the game is reasonably long and you have replay value from the post game stuff so they did put in a true effort all the way.

Overall 7/10