Tag Archives: Creature Feature

The X from Outer Space Review

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It’s time for a classic Kaiju film from way back in the day. I do have to admit that I was not very familiar with it but hey that happens. After watching it, it definitely does deliver on the Kaiju action but the human plot is particularly weak even compared to normal. You really don’t care about these guys and the random love triangle going on. It takes forever for Guilala to appear but once the monster does show up then things start to get real interesting. Get ready for a lot of buildings to be destroyed!

So the movie starts with a space crew heading off into space. Unfortunately their doctor gets sick so he has to be replaced with another one who is really not happy about being up here and makes this clear from the jump. Previous expeditions continue to disappear with all of the crew members dying but it’s unknown why that is happening. Well it turns out that there is some kind of tractor beam and an odd sponge/spore type object here. The heroes end up bringing this back to Earth and unfortunately it ends up being a massively powerful Kaiju that is determined to destroy the planet. They must find a way to reverse these effects or its all over!

While I mention Guilala in the summary that is still fairly deep into the film even though I mention it now. I like the deign a lot and Guilala seems to have a lot of powers but they are too much for the budget. For example at one point he starts glowing blue as if this guy thinks he’s Godzilla but then nothing happens. I do like the reaction times of plucking jets out of the sky even if they shouldn’t have been so low to begin with. Don’t underestimate the power of a Kaiju after all. Guilala is definitely the highlight of the film though.

Back to the humans though, so we have the weak romance going on. Sano is a guy in high demand as the local correspondent from Earth is in love with him as well as a new astronaut who is on the mission. It seems like Sano and the first girl are semi official but it’s hard to really know this for sure. She has a picture of him on her desk after all but it could just be her being possessive. During the first call to Earth the new girl makes sure to be extra clingy with Sano so the first girl quickly gets an attitude and gives off the silent treatment.

It all feels a bit unreasonable because Sano was actually doing really well on the ship. He refused the second girl’s offer to dance and basically dodged all of her flirting attempts. I don’t see how he could have handled it any better short of constantly talking about how he was in love with the first girl which would have been a bit tacky. Ultimately the astronaut gets the hint and near the end of the film it’s played off as a really sad moment. Look romance can be tragic, the person you like won’t always like you back but you just gotta buckle up and keep it moving. Don’t be desperate, don’t try too hard, and just move on.

All that being said, Sano is the only one who came out of this looking good. The second girl was moving way too fast and the first one was just way too insecure. She never actually made a move to talk to Sano about this or discuss rationally. Instead she just became super upset for no reason. If she is going to fly off the handle that much when any girl talks to Sano then I suspect this will be a pretty rough romance going forward.

As for the doctor who didn’t want to be on the mission, I think the idea of the character is good. I’d like to see this guy complaining constantly and bringing everyone down but his role is rather minimal so he doesn’t end up actually doing a lot. His role could and should have been a whole lot bigger. I guess he had the one moment where he cracked and ran for the controls at least….it’ll have to do.

Meanwhile the sense of distance was a bit odd here. So the whole mission is super dangerous and stuff because you have to go deep into space where people keep vanishing right? Well at one point they run out of fuel…so the main heroine flies in from the base with the extra fuel. She gets there in a matter of minutes but we could say it was hours in real time. Either way it seems like it was absolutely trivial to get to where the main characters were in space so how does that make any sense? It’s just a bit odd if you ask me.

The whole film I wouldn’t say is thought out all that well which is why the Kaiju is what is saving it the whole time. Without the Kaiju this film would have just ended up being boring. At least this way there was something to keep you engaged even if there could be some recycled animation at times. There wasn’t a whole lot of monster footage but it was a decent start. The effects of the Kaiju deforming were pretty good at least.

Overall, Creature X isn’t nearly as good as it could have been but I would still say it was fun enough. I had a good time watching the film even if I was taking shots the whole time. It’s an easy film to poke fun at for all of the missed opportunities and such. At the same time the Kaiju is still cool and while the characters aren’t good, the film avoids making any big mistakes. It’s short enough where even the poor pacing of the first half won’t hurt the replay value too much. I could watch this one again even if there is not much point as long as the main Godzilla films exist which absolutely crush this one.

Overall 6/10

The Black Scorpion Review

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With a title like the Black Scorpion you’re expecting massive hype and lots of creature action right? Well, it takes a very long time for the big scorpion to show up. Once it does we do get a good amount of screen time but for that whole first half you’re just wondering what happened. Surely they wouldn’t be keeping the main draw of the film on the shelf for so long right? Well sometimes that’s just how it happens I guess. It’s still a decently good movie but one with relatively low replay value and loses to the average creature feature.

The movie starts off with a pair of archeologists driving around when they notice an abandoned police car. Eventually they find an empty house with a baby in it and a corpse nearby. There was no blood around though so how was this guy taken down so easily? His gun had also already fired all of its bullets. Well no time to worry about that, the characters do more investigating and sleuthing until it turns out that there are Giant Scorpions running around! They’re murdering everybody and now the heroes have to think of a way to stop them before the entire town is destroyed. First the Scorpions will destroy the town….and then the world!

Lets talk about some of the positives here first. I do think that the writing is pretty solid. It’s not amazing or anything but it makes logical sense and the script should keep you decently engaged. I like how serious everyone is about the giant scorpion threat and that the government actually gets to look decent. The two leads get rather cocky after blowing up some of the Scorpions so that they basically don’t want to hear about there being any survivors. The government puts a stop to that real quick and it’s rare to see them pull rank like that.

Additionally this allows the film to effectively have two climaxes. You have the first one in the caves and then the second one on the go when the Scorpion returns to cause vengeance. So that was pretty solid because you don’t see that happening very often. In a way the humans got super lucky here because they fumbled the bag on several occasions (Letting all the poison get destroyed, missing the target with their thunder arrow, etc) but the giant scorpion ended up destroying most of the competition on its own so that bought some time. If the Scorpions had actually teamed up with each other and with the other giant creatures then it would have been over. You could have packed humanity up, they would have stood no chance.

Even that idea (One monster destroying the rest) is one that you don’t see very often. So you’ve got some decent ideas here but the film doesn’t really make them as exciting as they could be. The giant monster fights were fairly decent though, we had some classic wrestling and all of that. All of the creatures were absolutely doomed against the big scorpion though. They never stood a chance! I felt bad for the big one in the end though, of course you know the humans have to win eventually but it was so close!

As for the main characters, well they were just pretty annoying the whole time. As I mentioned they got too cocky about beating all of the scorpions to the point where they didn’t even wanna take the government serious about their chances of being alive. Then near the beginning of the film when a lady falls off her horse it felt like they immediately jumped into a lot of flirting. She seriously had to say she was fine like 5 times before they finally got the hint and backed off. Of course we still get the obligatory romance after that which was super rushed and unneeded. These films don’t always need a romance!

Of course the worst character is the local kid who was trying to help. He disobeys orders numerous times and stows away in their vehicles more than once. In each instance he just ends up causing a lot of trouble. The worst part about him is really that he has no remorse the whole time. The guy will try to explain why what he did was wrong and the kid will just say again that he was trying to help. No apology, no “I’ll never do it again” or anything like that. So you know the kid absolutely would do this again and no lesson was learned.

Then even the local cops don’t look great here as we have a super unnecessary character death near the end. The main captain misses his shot so he goes to pick up the thunder arrow but everyone forgot to turn the charge off so he gets bumped off. The main characters then fire the second shot but that has to be one of the worst ways to go out. Because he should not have died in the first place. I’d be majorly peeved if that happened to me. Also it’s not like it was an easy shot at all, you have to aim for the weak spot by the creature’s throat while it’s running around and beating up the army. Also , props to the guys in the tanks getting up close and knowing they will be destroyed but just buying time for the heroes. That can’t have been an easy mission.

Overall, The Black Scorpion is a film where the humans tend to be annoying so you’re really going to have to be in it for the creatures. The Scorpions make for imposing villains with their huge tails and long reach. Definitely not a foe that you will want to take lightly and the movie shows just how dangerous they can be. They’re not super fast but when characters trip and don’t start their engines in time it means that the body count here will still be fairly large. I’d be down for a sequel to this some day. There’s always room for more creature feature films but I hope the humans can be a bit more likable here. Honestly you don’t have to do a lot to be a decent human in a film like this. Just make some decent plans and fight a bit, that’s all you gotta do. Also the creature should appear way earlier, the dead time before it was just too long. I mean it’s an old film so at least the dialogue is good enough where you can still get through the first half just fine but it’s very noticeable considering the film’s name when the title creature takes so long to appear.

Overall 6/10

Konga Review

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Konga is one of those films that ended up failing because it forgot the very premise it was supposed to execute. Why are you watching a film called Konga? Well…odds are that it’s because based on the title you want to see a really good giant creature film right? that makes the most sense but a super large chunk of this is about a super annoying scientist trying to have an affair with his student and this plot drags the whole film down. We don’t actually get the large Konga until the final minutes and it’s way too late by then.

The movie starts with the legendary researcher Charles finally getting back to the country after being presumed dead for a while. He has been living in the wilderness with a tribe learning more about animals and manipulating DNA. He figures that he finally has a way to turn Gorillas into giant monsters and this has a lot of possibilities for human evolution. His assistant Margaret was hoping he would finally be ready to settle down with her and they could start a family but it looks like that isn’t in the cards anymore. No, instead he is completely obsessed with only two things, his experiments and his student Sandra. Can Margaret put a stop to this guy?

I’ve got so many problems with this film but lets start off with Charles. He’s the main character but he’s such an unlikable villain that you are hoping he will be taken out soon. The guy wants to revolutionize science and yet he sets it back by murdering everyone else who were coming up with similar ideas. He claims to be completely focused on the job but then he tries to get with Sandra and makes that a priority. This guy doesn’t actually seem super serious/focused on his work so he becomes all talk by that point and it’s why you can’t respect him as a character. Even if he was a jerk you could at least understand what was going on if he was serious about his scientific advancements.

The instant he lost sight of that the guy was too far gone. Meanwhile I didn’t care for Margaret as the heroine either. For starters she didn’t jump in to protect Sandra when she was being attacked. Additionally Margaret allows herself to just be verbally attacked and ignored all the time. She likes Charles for some reason but you still have to stand up for yourself. She kept all of his affairs in order while he was gone and the guy never shows any gratitude. Instead he keeps making empty promises about how they will still get married some day and she believes them. She seems very naïve here throughout the movie.

Additionally Sandra is also rather oblivious the whole time. Charles isn’t very subtle about his flirting here and how he keeps trying to get her by herself. At first I figured she noticed and just didn’t mind but by the end we see that she hadn’t really considered this. Instead she thought her friend Bob was just being jealous when he tried to warn her multiple times. I don’t get how nobody sees the red flags on this character.

Bob at least decides to fight Charles and even has the upper hand during their skirmish. You can’t blame him as much for sparing Charles’ life because murdering someone is an absolute last resort and Bob wasn’t trying to go down that dark path. He was just put in a really dicey spot the whole time. He gets props for at least roughing the guy up a bit though. The other students were being too busy making fun of the guy to do anything productive.

All right, so what about Konga then? Well he’s stuck in the cage for over 90% of the film as Charles runs experiments on him and keeps saying how expendable the creature is. Naturally once Konga does break free he quickly makes sure to murder as many people as possible before being shot down but of course the issue here is that at the end of the day he’s an innocent animal being gunned down due to being put in the wrong place at the wrong time. It makes for a very somber ending right there and you really wonder what the point of the film really was. It fails as a creature feature film and the character cast was really weak.

The writing can be okay at times. I do still enjoy the old writing style and everyone sounds very polite and proper but you still can’t help but be annoyed. The film’s pacing is solid so it goes by quickly either way. There is definitely no reason to actually go ahead and watch this movie though. There are way better ones out there and there just isn’t anything in particular that would make this movie a must watch compared to others.

Overall, Konga may be a cool name for a film but this is not going to be the next Godzilla. Konga is a film that will likely be lost to the mysteries of time and that’s for the best. Definitely stay away from this film and remember that the main takeaway is to always be wary of announcing your secret research until it is ready. Otherwise you may get bumped off by a rival like what happened in this film and then that definitely would be a tragic way to go out.

Overall 3/10

Mothra vs Godzilla Review

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Mothra vs Godzilla is a classic film and should not be mixed up with Godzilla vs Mothra. They are too different films with very similar names but rest assured that we are talking about the original here. As for which is better, it’s been a long time so it’s hard to say but the new one may have the edge. This film is before Godzilla really got the power upgrades that made him into a famous Kaiju king so you can’t expect him to look quite as good. Mothra has a lot of plot armor here though so get ready for that.

The movie starts with a large egg washing up on shore and a business man named Kumayama quickly buys it. The guy was smart to deal directly with the local fisherman rather than waiting around and it paid off big time. He aims to open up an entire amusement park with his backer Jiro and they are going to be rich beyond their wildest imaginations. It’s a scheme that can’t go wrong..except what if something is in that egg? They are visited by a mysterious pair of twins who confirm that this is not a good idea. The villains will not be scared off so easily and so the twins have to work with Ichiro, Juko, and Miura to save the day. Will they be able to stop these rich guys?

One thing you will notice very quickly here is that the twins are unfortunately not very powerful. Don’t let their mysterious aura fool you they can’t really fight. They mainly are just here to wake up Mothra which is a good role in itself but one day I wish Mothra would give them some kind of super powers to fight back with. It would absolutely be a good upgrade that would really let them cause some damage here. Instead they end up nearly being captured.

As for the main heroes, we get a lot of banter with Ichiro and Junko. Junko is definitely a lot more aggressive and outgoing as she doesn’t mind standing up to the villains and taking her time with the camerawork. Unfortunately she isn’t very good at being a photographer and even forgets to turn off the lens once which frustrates her boss a lot. Meanwhile Ichiro doesn’t want to stir up any waves at first but gradually realizes that he has to do whatever it takes to save the island. Likewise the researcher Miura starts to help out more too and later on we have a whole newspaper battle although nothing deters the villains. Lets face it, they’re prepared to make billions off of this park so no amount of bad publicity was going to stop them.

In the end it’s all up to Godzilla as usual. Unfortunately this is probably one of Godzilla’s worst appearances. He doesn’t look very smart here as he trips at one point and gets stuck. He doesn’t really seem to know what’s going on beyond his pure instincts but what I will say for him is that he never gives up. There is a point early on where the government nearly takes him down for the count but they get too cocky and overload the machine. Given how effective it had been there is a real chance that they would have defeated Godzilla if they had kept on going. Human fans should saver this now because there is a chance that they will not be seeing another win like this anytime soon.

Of course what we are really here for is the big battle between Mothra and Godzilla. It’s a bit of a strange matchup because Godzilla is much more powerful physically and he has the overwhelming long range advantage. His atomic breath should also be able to instantly evaporate Mothra with a good burn so the deck is stacked against Mothra. You do see this at times with heroes going up against great odds but the difference is that Mothra is a massive target so she has no room to dodge and not much room to outmanuever the opponent either. So at the end of the day a comeback is difficult that way.

The reason why the fight doesn’t work is that they have to nerf Godzilla to try and convince you that he would lose. He forgets to use his atomic breath for most of the fight except in very short bursts which do not really do much of anything. If he kept this up from the start then Mothra couldn’t even get close and would lose right away. You could make the case that Godzilla wasn’t able to use it for long bursts back in the day and didn’t have the stamina for it yet. I have doubts on that but either way he would still win this round if he just moved a bit more. The Mothra larvae basically pin him down with a lot of string but he should have been able to easily get around that. He only loses because he basically doesn’t move at all which really hurts him here.

I still enjoy the fight because it is a kaiju battle but it was just hard to buy into. Godzilla should win this fight 10/10 times. It was just an off day for him. Meanwhile Mothra is doing her best to protect the kingdom so you have to respect that. She is definitely one of the most heroic Kaiju out there without a doubt. It’s good that the humans have someone that they can rely on at least even if it feels like the tribe wouldn’t help out ordinarily so you better hope that you get to Mothra or the twins directly. Otherwise Earth’s guardian may not help out.

The writing is solid and the film has a good amount of humor in there. The Showa Godzilla films always felt like part comedies with the human characters probably as a contrast to the monster battles. I think it works well enough here. None of the characters are particularly memorable but they’re not bad which is the important thing. The monsters show up before long and once the fights are here then you’re all set. It doesn’t quite have the hype of Godzilla vs King Kong but it soundly defeats the first two films without much trouble.

Overall, Mothra vs Godzilla is a pretty good film. The fight definitely comes across as cheesy since you can’t picture it ending the way that it did though. I feel like they could have just had Godzilla win and then walk away. Maybe that would be cheesy in its own way but you can also think of it from this perspective. Godzilla doesn’t really bother with humans until they start the fight in most instances. So he may be satisfied with defending his crown as the King of the Monsters and just leaving. I could totally see that working. Either way I would recommend checking this film out. It has aged well and you can’t go wrong with Godzilla adventures.

Overall 7/10

Piranha Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s that time of year again folks, it’s time for a creature feature! Now you may be thinking this should count as more of a horror film and that’s fair but these piranha really mean business and whenever they are on screen you know that things are about to get tricky. They take no prisoners and take no breaks. They just shred everyone in their way. At the end of the day it is a bit of a Jaws homage to be sure but I like how they go all in on this. I dare say it’s pretty close to Jaws in quality too but of course you know that’s not necessarily a good thing.

So the movie starts off with a pair of teenagers deciding to make a foolish mistake and that is to jump in the water near an abandoned testing site. How clean would this water be even if there weren’t piranha around? Well Maggie is called in to find them so she looks around a while and eventually comes across a guy named Paul who enjoys a quiet existence in a little cabin of his. He’s got a good gig going there and doesn’t want to be mixed up in any trouble but there isn’t really any dissuading Maggie so they check out the old government installation. They fight off a crazy guy and release all the piranha accidentally. Now these creatures are headed to a nearby town to take everyone down!

One thing that’s harder to capture in a newer film is how suddenly things happen. The heroes just wander into a crazy little hut and release a terrifying force onto humanity. There isn’t a lot of build up or foreshadowing to this. It just happens and the execution is fairly decent. The scientist could have potentially made things a little better for the world if he had tried to talk instead of immediately going to beat these characters up. C’mon this guy should have known that strategy wasn’t going to work and while it was an emergency, there were lots of ways to quickly get this across instead of the way that he did it. Ultimately this cost him his life which was a really heavy price to make for a simple mistake but that’s how things can go in these films.

Maggie is a decent heroine. She was persistent in her search for the teenagers which is admirable because I don’t think anyone would have faulted her for taking a step back after not finding any trace in the mountains instead of recruiting the old guy to help her. She really just wanted to see the job through and that’s always good. She never lost her determination throughout the film. As for Paul, he’s less of your classic hero and is just someone trying to stay out of harm’s way. He very reluctantly helped out with the search. Sure he did get going once they figured out what was happening but he just as easily would have rolled back into bed if Maggie wasn’t so insistent on his coming. Fortunately he can fight which came in handy against the scientist.

The army actually get involved later on which was nice since I always like to see them around. The only mixed thing here is the way the heroes escape just felt really cheesy. Cmon the security cannot be so weak that they basically just run out after a quick gag. The movie’s fairly serious so perhaps they thought we needed some humor thrown in but it almost feels out of place. I think they could have done a lot better with this whole plot personally. I wanted to see the army get some action even if in a way it would be hard to do when the enemies are fish. Have them fire at the water to no effect or something. They do use some poison but of course that isn’t going to do much here.

The movie does lightly touch on the classic conspiracy angle though. The government naturally doesn’t want anyone to find out what is going on here and they do a good job of covering it all up at least until that is no longer possible. They just didn’t seem very smart with how they handled it. They are trying to salvage things again by the end though so they are consistent. You have to give them some props there. Ultimately the instant you make mutated creatures that have super skills there probably isn’t much of anything that you can do but you still have to try hard. I would have had the film end with a piranha starting to grow a fist or something. Hey with mutations it should be possible right?

The effects aren’t bad but the soundtrack is on the forgettable side. The film’s best quality is its overall atmosphere but at the end of the day that’s really all that it’s got. With the Piranha murdering everyone everywhere it quickly just becomes another animal attack film. Fortunately with piranhas there is less chance of animal violence as it’s mostly just them eating people. It’s still fairly violent as it sure takes them a long time to shred people to bits though. This is not one for the faint of heart. Ultimately it is another good reason why you don’t really want to be in the ocean at all. I feel like on land you can reasonably protect yourself against most threats or feel like you have a shot but in the water there is nothing to anchor you or to really give you good ground beneath your feet so it’s all a lot more terrifying.

I wouldn’t say the movie is particularly scary to be honest but if you put yourself in that position then you can absolutely understand what the fear would be like. It’s not really my kind of film though. I would need more quality characters and a bigger role from the government for this title to really take off. I also think just by nature of the film it would be difficult for this one to be pretty good. When you have an evil animal you’re either going to see the humans destroy it or the animal destroy them and in each case it’s likely going to be a rather violent affair.

Overall, Piranha must have been quite the hit with how many films it has spawned but ultimately I would say that this is one that you can really skip on. There isn’t a whole lot of reason to watch this one when you have much better options on the horizon. Watch Godzilla vs the Sea Monster instead if you want to see what an aquatic animal can really do with full size enhancements to take on the government. Yes that’s definitely the way to do it!

Overall 2/10

The Alligator People Review

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Now this probably sounds like your classic run of the mill creature feature film but instead I would call it more of a drama. Sure there is a creature here but he doesn’t appear all that much and when he does it’s not like he’s all that much of a threat either. The guy has some extremely slight superhuman strength but even then I wouldn’t say that it is very high tier. You get a lot of running around and detective work though along with a human villain who is definitely more on the really weak side.

The film starts with Joyce and Paul being married. They figure that things are really looking up now and their lives will be perfect but all of a sudden Paul gets a letter that shakes him to the core. He quickly runs off the train they were on and vanishes into the wind. Joyce didn’t know anything about him beyond his name so she looked and looked until one day she finds his old address from when he was back in college. She heads to this old house in the middle of nowhere but the owners claim that they haven’t ever heard of him and that Jane should go. Well, Jane decides to stay along for the ride until she can find answers but will these answers prove to be too much for her?

First I have to say that Paul is a pretty awful character the whole time. Just running off when you’ve been married like this is absolutely insane. I don’t care if he’s turning into a gerbil, you have to stay there and explain things. He took the coward’s way out here and put Joyce in a ton of emotional turmoil. She had nothing to go off of and had to try for ages to find any leads to him. All of this could and should have been avoided. In the end it was his pride which got in the way here since he just didn’t want her to see him like this but that is no excuse at all. He just looks really bad no matter how you slice it and there was no coming back from this for him. Of course I’m glad he saves her later on from the other villain but she wouldn’t have been in that situation from the start if he had helped her.

Joyce gets a lot of credit here because she was basically walking into enemy territory in order to find her husband. She withstood all of the threats against her and just kept on fighting because she refused to give up. I think a lot of other characters would have folded by this point but she stayed strong and did not waiver in her convictions. This is the kind of character that you absolutely want to have on your side at all times. Now she does let out a yell and a bit of panic near the very end but I would say it was warranted and she would have quickly recovered if a certain other character didn’t jump the gun yet again. Yeah Joyce puts up with a whole lot in this title.

Then you have the main villain here Manon. He wants to destroy all gators after one bit his hand off a while back. Now he just lives for his revenge and it’s clear that he guy is extremely unhinged in all of his appearances. He’s always yelling and yelling and yelling. His goal of destroying all of the gators also comes off as extremely petty and then he ends up going into a whole new level of sick when he attacks Joyce. I was definitely not expecting that. I knew he was a villain here but that just didn’t seem like something he would do so that was definitely surprising and it did completely destroy his character.

Lavinia has a fairly big role since she is the master of the house. She has her secrets to be sure and wants Joyce out of there but ultimately isn’t in a position to force Joyce out. Joyce is physically more powerful than Lavinia after all and isn’t a pushover in the slightest. Then you have Dr. Mark who is good at the experiments but ultimately nobody is perfect and he needs more time. Paul keeps pressuring/threatening him to work quicker but to an extent you can only do this for so long before something backfires. As it is he may have also succeeded if not for someone messing up the tech.

As always the writing here is pretty good. I did like Chaney’s accent that he used for the film which worked rather seamlessly and I almost didn’t recognize him for most of the film. The pacing is good here and really the only thing that holds this movie back a lot of the time is just how most of the characters are no good. I liked Joyce but she was really the only very solid character here. Everyone else was either unlikable or made very questionable decisions the whole time. This film would have played out so much differently if Paul had just trusted his wife instead of dashing off into the great unknown the way that he did.

I should mention that most of the film is a flashback too and so in the present two doctors are deciding if they should give Joyce her memories back or not. They could do this with ease but are also worried that it could mess her up in the future. There isn’t a large debate on this as it’s mainly just used as an excuse for them to find out what she’s been through. Of course it’s fair to say that you absolutely should give her the memories back since they are a big part of who she is. They just need to do it carefully instead of making all those excuses. Yes her life is a lot happier now but knowing about the past now makes the doctors responsible for helping her remember it so that she can be complete again.

Overall, The Alligator People lacks the charm of a true creature feature because there is no monster or anything like that to defeat this time. The costume for the Alligator Man also isn’t the most impressive one around. It’s not going to strike fear into anyone’s heart after all. I liked seeing Joyce sleuth around and figure things out but ultimately for this film to have been better it also just needed more fun characters and some action. The Alligators also had me nervous with how much shooting was going on but fortunately they were careful in the end. I don’t think this one has a whole lot of replay value but as an initial watch it should keep your attention. It’s definitely not bad and it stays afloat long enough to stay right in the middle there.

Overall 5/10

Alligator Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

You ever watch a film and then afterwards think to yourself: “Oof!” That’s basically this film in a nutshell. Alligator didn’t have great prospects right from the start to be honest because films about an evil animal rarely ever do well but even for that sub genre this one wasn’t very good at all. You have a whole subplot about a bunch of dogs dying and at that point I knew there was no hope for this film. It was just going to keep falling and falling as the movie went on and that’s exactly what happens here.

The movie starts with a girl getting a pet alligator of her own but unfortunately her father flushes it into the sewers. The alligator swears revenge and over the next 10+ years it begins to grow to monstrous size. It has been destroying all the animals in the sewers and even claims a few human lives. By the time it enters the surface it is quite powerful. Can officer David manage to stop this beast? He is quick on his feet but has a reputation for bumping off his partners which is hard to lose. Additionally everyone thinks he is crazy and don’t believe in an alligator. This town is about to be in a whole lot of trouble.

So the first big issue here is the subplot that I mentioned earlier. Basically there is a scientist running experiments on growth hormones and how to make animals extra big. To do this he is kidnapping a bunch of dogs around town and murdering them all. This ends up giving the alligator more fuel of course but it also adds a lot of animal violence that just wasn’t needed in the film. It makes you cringe every time you see these scenes and there are quite a lot of them. The heroes aren’t able to do much about this guy either because he is protected by someone who is rich enough to own the police. It’s a rather vicious cycle of corruption at the top and everyone is powerless to stop them.

The worst part is that the plot doesn’t add anything of value to the story. Just have the gator find some ooze in the tunnels or something which causes him to grow. Or have a syringe fall down there which makes him big but adding all of those dogs in was just a really bad idea. I haven’t seen a film go this far with the dog deaths in quite a while and of course all of the bodies are there in full display the whole time to make things get even more gruesome. The actual violence in the film isn’t particularly surprising as you are expecting the gator to be chomping people up right from the start anyway. So when it happens that is just par for the course although of course the film should have had a bit more restraint. you don’t need to quite be to excessive with that kind of content.

There’s even one scene where a small child is eaten which I thought was also a bit much. It’s certainly a very dark scene but one that you could have done without. By this point we already know what a monster this thing is so why add onto that any further? The Alligator isn’t super fast so you like your odds when going up against it but unfortunately fort he humans they tend to trip and freeze under pressure which makes them easy targets. If they had just kept on going then things could have gone differently for them. One of the only ones you can’t blame is the kid since he was pushed into the water.

As the main character David is very underwhelming. I like that he is always very eager to solve a case and that he doesn’t let the public get to him too much. Unfortunately at the same time it is easy for one of the reporters to rile him up the whole time and his romance with Marisa is pretty bad. He just gets mean at some points for no real reason and then barely even apologizes to her. He didn’t give her much of a chance at the beginning of the movie so the whole romance is really rushed and makes no sense. It just seems to happen rather suddenly and he looks really desperate.

Sure the romance isn’t great on Marisa’s end either but at least outside of that she is decent enough. I like how determined she is to say that Alligators can’t possibly grow as large as David was saying even though all the evidence points to it. Once she has a theory she will stay very resolved in sticking to it. Then you have Thomas who is the big reporter here. He has a really personal grudge against David for some reason and is always trying to put him on the spot. A little random perhaps but this guy is trying to sell issues and maybe he just knows that David is a much easier target than most others would be. So he’s just engaging in smart business decisions here. It doesn’t make him any less of an antagonist though and you know he’s doomed from the start.

Then you have David’s boss who is in the pocket of his bosses. He will do whatever they say no matter who and what he has to betray. This guy’s really petty and not loyal at all but he is fun. The guy may get off easy but in a way it’s because David isn’t taking him seriously. Whether he plays nice or not, the boss will be listening to his bosses the whole time so it almost doesn’t matter. Finally you have Brock who is a really big hunter who is supposed to be mega impressive. Unfortunately the guy doesn’t have a good attitude and feels out of his depth from the tart. You know that he has no shot but it’s still fun to watch him because of how arrogant he is. The guy holds nothing back and also knows how to manipulate people around him into going on missions. No matter what else you think of him, the guy absolutely knows how to talk his way out of a situation.

It’s hard to know on where to start if you were going to try and fix this movie. There’s just so many bad things about it but removing the dog subplot probably does need to be the first thing you do. Throw in some better main characters while you’re at it. I think either way you don’t want to make another large alligator film again but if you have to do one for some reason then make that the main focus and don’t worry about other stuff. At the end of the day you gotta approach this carefully.

Overall, There isn’t much to like about Alligator at all. When the characters are bad and the romance is rushed in addition to everything else then you may as well just take the L because there is no coming back from that. I highly advise staying far away from this film. There just isn’t any reason to watch it and the movie will certainly drag on for you. Perhaps the sequel will actually end up being better. I don’t doubt that it will surpass the first but that’s easy to do so will it actually be a good movie or not? I’m in no immediate rush to find this out though.

Overall 1/10

War of the Colossal Beast Review

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It’s impressive that the first Colossal Man movie got a sequel but unfortunately this one isn’t quite as good. The decision to turn Glenn into a mindless monster was definitely an odd one and doesn’t work as effectively. Part of the fun in having a giant man is seeing him interact and how he adjusts to this. The first film may have been leading up into having him turn mindless but going all the way with it was definitely a big mistake.

The movie follows Glenn’s sister Joyce who has been trying to locate him for a while now. It’s actually a bit of an odd choice right off the bat. Why aren’t we still following his fiancé Carol? I suppose the real life reason would be that they couldn’t get the same actress but I feel like that wouldn’t have been a big deal. Either way Joyce functions in pretty much the same way as it’s her turn to play detective this time. She does well in tracking Glenn’s possible whereabouts until she actually gets to the right place.

Ultimately there isn’t a whole lot she can do to stop him but she gets the government on the trail so that they can capture him. Unfortunately a cure will be difficult as always so they are basically delaying the inevitable as he is still a big threat that could hurt just about anyone. The government’s main liaison this time is Mark and he makes it clear that the army will take care of Glenn if he poses a threat. So getting them involved was a bit of a risk but it was still Joyce’s only realistic option. Otherwise Glenn was already being a threat anyway.

Again this is weakened by the fact that he is so mindless now though. He can only just roar endlessly the whole time so there is no chance for dialogue or anything like that. He’s just completely lost his mind and that doesn’t make for an interesting villain. You could only pull that off if this was a creature with a really cool design, but a giant human? No shot at making that work out, it’s just not in the cards. Also I thought the design wasn’t as good. In this film they try to show that he’s deteriorated a bit due to the accident from last time but also the radiation. So now part of his skull is showing at all times and so he looks rather beat up. It’s more on the gruesome angle than actually looking really cool though.

The other characters are decent enough. Mark does well in his role and he seems like a good guy. There is a limit to how much he can actually do here but at least he is trying the whole time. It would have been easy to have just ditched Glenn to his fate but he is actually trying to make things work out for everyone. Then you have Dr. Carmichael who is like pretty much every other doctor in these old films. He seems reasonable enough but can’t really work miracles.

I actually liked this old guy who appeared at the start of the film as his driver got scared by Glenn so he had to find the kid. This was really just a way to kick the film off so he doesn’t have a big role or anything but I liked his energy. The guy was determined to get his money back and sue if needed. The kid who got scared was more on the annoying side. I thought all the scenes of him being too afraid to talk at all were really overblown. The movie just had a super slow start as a result and once we got to move past that it was for the best.

The movie still has good writing like the first film but around the board it’s just a bit weaker. The pacing only gets good after the opening scenes and of course Glenn is a big step down with how mindless he is. I definitely would have liked for him to have still had his character. Then the cast as a whole would be a bit weaker although it’s close. So with all of that going against it, there was never any chance that the movie could have beat the original. That wasn’t going to happen but I would still call it a good movie. If you ignore that the first one exists, then it is a perfectly serviceable title.

It doesn’t do anything special but it makes no big mistakes. There’s no moment where you’re really shaking your head here and that’s the positive point of making what I would call a very safe film. You’re not taking any risks or putting yourself out there so the floor is stable but the ceiling may just not be as high. You’re not going to score an 8 with this approach but you won’t likely score a 4 either. It just puts you in an area with smaller variety.

As a final note, it’s a little hard to believe that the Colossal Man was able to hide for so long though. Again, remember that he is basically mindless and he is absolutely huge. Where was he hiding for so long? It was clearly long enough where the government thought he was dead and nobody believed the giant guy could be around. It just strikes me as unlikely that this guy could be slipping around, even if there weren’t security cameras and such back then. They probably should have just said he could shrink or something but of course then it would be a whole new movie. Only other option would be to have this film take place a little sooner, like the next day or something. Even then I question how he made the trip over to Mexico undetected unless he can breathe underwater.

Overall, You’ll enjoy this film if you’re up for a fairly generic creature feature film. This one does have more action than the first so you will actually get to see the Colossal Man in action. It helps to counter the fact that it loses in virtually all other areas. It has less replay value than the first one without a doubt but it still gets enough right to be worth a watch. It has actual flashbacks to the first movie which is nice for continuity. So because of that I would recommend watching the first title before this one. They may be good as stand alone adventures but it still feels like you would get the added boost by watching the first one before this. It may make you end up comparing them a lot but that will just have to be unavoidable here.

Overall 6/10

The Amazing Colossal Man Review

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It’s time for a creature feature film of sorts even though there isn’t actually a Kaiju here. The movie just falls into that kind of style and it works well. The movie’s very low key and slowly builds towards the end but so long as you’re fine with not really seeing the Colossal Man get any action for a while then you’re going to be in for a good time here.

The movie starts with Glenn and the rest of the army awaiting a big army test. They’re testing a powerful bomb/weapon so nobody is to get close. Unfortunately, Glenn notices that there are some civilians in the line of fire after a plane goes down so he dashes over but gets hit by the radiation. This causes Glenn to start growing to an incredible size. The plus is that this heals all of his burns like a sort of regeneration but the downside is that his heart isn’t growing fast enough and he’s also turning insane. Is there any way to save Glenn or is this game over for him?

His fiancé Carol tries her best to help Glenn out but the main issue in the film is that there isn’t really a way out. There is seemingly no cure that will work in time and in the meanwhile Glenn is in constant pain. I think that’s part of what makes this one of the roughest trials for a lead here. It’s a pretty hopeless situation even if he wasn’t going crazy. Of course if he could have helped them that would be great but he lasted a while before cracking and it wasn’t really doing much.

I can’t say that I liked Glenn much by the end though. Even if turning giant was part of the issue, it would have been good if he could have stayed strong. Maybe have the government start acting shady which is what gets him to start being a little paranoid and you go from there. It would definitely help him out as a main character and make him more sympathetic towards the end.

There are two main adults on the government side in Paul and Eric. They try to help manage the Glenn situation but I wouldn’t say they do a terrific job. Part of why Glenn cracks is because nobody is really telling him much. Sure, they do tell him stuff like they’re looking into the issue and all that but nothing concrete. After a while it’s clear to him that they’re leading him on and I don’t think he’s totally wrong about that. Any cure would be a longshot and might not even make it in time.

I also think using a circus tent as a base probably wasn’t the best idea to his already damaged psyche. Surely there could have been other large areas to use that wouldn’t have been quite as insulting to the guy. If the film could have used any extra boost though, it’s that I wouldn’t have minded seeing the Colossal Man destroy more buildings and such. The actual destruction is kept fairly minimal probably so the film wouldn’t make Glenn seem too irredeemable.

This is also probably the kind of film that would be more difficult to execute in a modern setting. As the film is low key it can only really work with the dialogue being up to par. Of course a modern film would likely add a lot of action which would make the point moot as that’s another way to succeed but if you’re going to do this through pure dialogue then you need the old way of speaking like in this film. Then with that you’re all set for action.

Of course a modern element that could work would be for Carol to have a more active role in the story. Something beyond just walking around and asking for questions about Glenn. Not that she didn’t do a good job with this but it’s still a more passive role as opposed to her knocking out some guards to find him or something like that. I suppose it’s nice that the government wasn’t evil in the end this time though.

I absolutely would not want the job of feeding the Colossal Man though. I was even a bit surprised that the guy escaped with his life since it really seemed like he could be squashed at any second. Glenn was definitely not playing around by this point and was pretty much all gone. The ending underscores why he was ultimately not a huge thread though. At the end of the day unless you’re bullet proof then there is only so much damage that you can pull off. In a way the government could have stopped him at any time and you the viewer knows it.

Overall, The Amazing Colossal Man is a pretty good film. I wouldn’t call it amazing or anything but it gets the job done and follows the classic formula of a creature feature. In fact it’s so direct that there isn’t a whole lot to discuss compared to other films. You could probably guess most of the story beats just from the title without even watching the film. The writing is solid and the character cast is good which makes for a solid combo. The movie goes by quickly and has a good amount of replay value. You’ll definitely want to go into this expecting more of a drama film than an action one but as long as you go in with that mindset then you’ll be all set.

Overall 7/10

The Monster That Challenged the World Review

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It’s time for a very classic creature feature kind of movie. You can bet that you won’t be seeing anything that really changes the world here but it’s a simple film that does tackle its themes well. It executes without making any real mistakes and at the end of the day that’s exactly what you want to see from a movie like this. The human characters are all solid but very forgettable as they don’t have much of a personality. How are they solid then? Well, the writing in the film is really good so each character talks very professionally and to the point, they just feel more like the film itself than individuals.

The movie starts with the creature taking down a bunch of civilians but is ultimately low diffed by a guy with a harpoon. They take the body back to the lab where it is studied by the government and the concerning thing isn’t the creature itself, but the fact that it can rapidly multiply. One scientist even says that at this speed it could even end up threatening the entire planet! This is clearly not a threat to sneeze at but what can the humans possibly do about it?

When you have a monster film about quantity over quality it is always a pretty interesting change in dynamic from the one giant monster approach. After all if you have one big monster then it stands to reason that the humans are absolutely doomed and will need big bombs. When it’s a lot of smaller ones, the fear is that they will ultimately overpower you. I tend to prefer the one big monster approach but both can work. I do think the monster should have looked a little stronger though. Losing to a single guy with a stick? That’s just not very impressive even if the eye is a weak point. It just doesn’t feel like enough to make you feel scared as the audience even with a swarm of them.

The design is good though. I do like how the creature looked so I’ll give the film props there. The movie still does have a good amount of tension too. I wouldn’t call it scary in the slightest or anything like that but it does get the danger element across. You fully understand that at this point the humans have to band together to stop it or they will absolutely be conquered. There’s no other way around it.

Now as for the humans, well like I said they’re not super memorable. You’ve got Gail who helps a lot with the research and keeping things on track. She’s good and stays on task at all times. Without her the characters would not have been updated enough to stop the monster. Then you have her daughter Sandy who unfortunately ends up messing things up on multiple occasions. At least it was to help the Rabbits but it just reminds you why the kids tend to get in the way for things like this. They don’t understand the stakes and as a result they end up getting in the way.

Then there’s general Twill who is the main army guy here. He always acts rather serious but deep down he’s a nice guy and all of that jazz. The film tries to throw in a bit of a romance here which doesn’t work at all. It’s all a little too fast and doesn’t really add onto the film at all. It’s another instance of just being there to check off the box of having romance but doesn’t really fall into place.

I don’t believe the movie is very long and I can certainly confirm that it doesn’t feel long. It’s over very quickly and so I guess what you can say as a negative is that it won’t feel very memorable. It’s really like many other creature feature films that you would have seen before. It’s not really trying to do anything different at all. It just follows the motions from start to finish but because it was executed well, I didn’t really have a problem with it. It’s still an enjoyable picture.

It plays everything very safe and so it doesn’t make any mistakes even if there are no big highs to be found here either. Whether someone is a fan of monster movies or just a good story, you could recommend this one. At the end of the day it’s about humanity uniting to stop a common threat. You get to see everyone really try to work together on this in time to stop the threat.

Now what I would have done to make this a little more memorable would have been to add some scenes to make the characters a little more dynamic. Usually this is where I recommend adding more action but instead maybe make Twill a little more headstrong. That’s a character trait that always makes a character more memorable. For Gail, I’d throw in some motivation like she wants to help out to really prove herself now that her husband is gone. If anything maybe have him stick around to get bumped off by the monster for that revenge arc. These traits may seem a little cliche, but hey it would be more than as it is currently.

Overall, Don’t let the title fool you, the monster isn’t actually challenging the world verbally or literally by being a force of nature. It’s the potential of the monster in the future which is a threat. That may not sound as exciting as he alternative but that’s just how it is here. It’s still living up to the title slightly I suppose but just not in a big way. If we ever get a remake or sequel, then they need to buff the monster quite a bit but hopefully keep the writing just as solid. Either way, there’s nothing to really dislike here so you’ll have a fun time all the way through.

Overall 7/10