Tag Archives: Film Review

Stand by Me Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Stand by Me is one of those films where I can’t say that I had high hopes for it from the jump. It’s a movie about a bunch of kids having a journey and that’s not the most interesting premise. I prefer the main characters to be a little bit older which always makes the banter and dialogue more fun. Throw in the fact that they’re in a fairly mean world and none of the kids are that likable and you have a recipe for disaster.

The movie kicks off with a kid dying so Gordie and his friends want to see the body. It’s a rather odd objective but for them nothing ever happens in this town so it’s the only thing they can do to get some excitement out of the day. The body is supposed to just be a few miles away from where they are at so the 4 kids (Gordie, Chris, Teddy, and Vern) all head out. It will be a tough journey though and they don’t have much food so they really need to move quickly. That doesn’t stop them from having their share of fights and disagreements though. They just really want to make it all the way to the goal and so they will keep moving forward.

Perhaps with a better goal the journey would be more fun. Like if they all wanted to go to some kind of tournament or try out a pizza place. But running around to look at a dead body? It’s even worse that it’s another kid since no matter how the kid died that is rather tragic. It’s hard to get all that invested into the mission that the 4 boys have as a result. Do you even want them to succeed?

Then you have the fact that the world seems rather mean spirited. Just about everyone they run into is either an antagonist or just generally upset. The guy they run into at the car factory at least has some reason for this since they are the ones trespassing. They have fun making fun of him and his dog but then can’t take it when he starts hurling insults. Teddy in particular can’t take it as he gets upset when the guy insults his father. You really shouldn’t be hurling insults and acting like a delinquent if you can’t take it when the tables are turned.

Then you have the bullies who show up to make life tough on the main characters. They don’t have much of a grand mission beyond causing trouble and only seem to show interest in finding the body as well while they were there. It’s fortunate that the kids had some equipment because things could have really gone badly for them otherwise. These bullies seemed quite serious about possibly murdering these kids. At the very least you don’t doubt that they would do it.

To break away from the nonstop dangers we do get a quick story sequence about a kid who was teased for being overweight. It’s a story being told so you know it’s fake but we actually get to see it play out in real time. Basically the kid gets his revenge by having everyone start throwing up. It’s a rather gross scene to be honest and I would have cut out the story as well. Even if it was a lighter moment to try and keep the tone from being too down in the dumps, I wouldn’t say it was a good story so that limited how effective it could be.

As for the main kids, I wasn’t a big fan of any of them as I mentioned earlier. Teddy is always causing trouble and can’t really be trusted on the journey. He nearly caused all of the kid to die by deciding to play chicken with a train. It was a really dumb move. Then Vern is always getting picked on by Teddy and I wonder how the 4 of them are even friends anyway. It gets a bit mean spirited with how hard they ride the poor guy. You can have solid banter within a group without getting mean spirited but part of the problem is that the shots were always directed at Vern so it didn’t feel very balanced. If I was him then I would have definitely left a while back.

As for Gordie, he has less to do than the other characters as the true main character who gets the narration but he was okay I suppose. He did less to make him unlikable at least. Then there is Chris who is the most mature of the 4 main characters so at least he is doing his best in keeping everyone alive. Naturally that means that things don’t go so well for him in the epilogue and that’s a shame because he should have had the best ending of the group. In general the film’s ending isn’t very satisfying at all. Part of the point of the film is probably that it’s not supposed to be satisfying since part of the journey is knowing that completing it won’t change anything.

At the same time, intentional or not if an ending is not satisfying then it’s not a good ending. There just isn’t any point in the film where you get invested in what is going on. I don’t think this is a film that I would be able to finish on my own and that’s why it’s got a very low score here. With no hook or likable characters to root for then it was really doomed right out of the gate. I would stand by my theory that the film would be significantly better if the characters were grown up. A bunch of adults running around on an adventure is something that can and has worked for generations. There’s a whole lot that you can do with that and the story would naturally be more focused and interesting. Sure you still need good writing to execute on this premise but I would be confident that the movie could do it.

Overall, Stand by Me is a film that I would definitely recommend skipping. It just doesn’t work on an emotional level which is half of the film right there. Since you don’t care about the characters or the journey then there just isn’t much left for you by that point. This ends up just being a boring movie which is ultimately a really bad thing for it. If you want to see a solid coming of age story about a kid needing to come to terms with the future then watch Big Hero 6 instead. There the hero has to move on from the past but it’s done in a more engaging way.

Overall 2/10

I walked with a Zombie Review

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You ever watch a film and it’s like you’re seeing it from the sky view? You can see the movie gradually going uphill but there’s a massive landmine in front of it and you can only watch in horror as it self destructs? That’s this movie, it starts out decently well but then it just crashes and burns in a quite tragic fashion. By the end this is a film that you can confidently skip.

So the movie starts off with Betsy getting a job as a nurse to help treat Paul’s wife. She has been in an unfortunate coma type state for a long time now and is barely even alive at this point. Betsy isn’t even really sure what she can do and unfortunately there is also a lot of drama going on. See Paul has a brother named Wesley and both of them do not get along at all. There is constant tension there and they also both seem to like her. While she is sharing a meal with Wesley one day, she overhears a song about how Paul’s wife had an affair with Wesley and the two of them nearly ran off together before she was stopped and then got sick.

Its not a good look for Jessica (the wife) or Wesley. Wesley still seems to like Jessica as well and Paul is ready to go with Betsy but he still has a wife since it’s not like she’s dead. It also seems quite cruel to be going after someone when your wife is in such a poor state. You’d expect Betsy would have a lot of mixed feelings about this, maybe shut down the advances and go home but she actually ends up falling for Paul. I was surprised that she would considering the circumstances and they barley even know each other.

I take a lot of shots at movie romances but this has to be especially bad. How can she be calling for this guy like that? I definitely can’t buy into it and it’s not like Paul is even super nice to her or anything like that. Betsy at least does really want to heal Jessica to make Paul happy even if it ends up hurting her chances so that’s selfless of her. We’ve just got a really messy drama here but at this point it’s not like the movie was that bad or anything. Perhaps contrived with no likable characters but that’s all.

Then we get to the more supernatural part of the film. There is a nearby tribe that has been messing around with witchcraft and spells like that. So someone tells Betsy to take Jessica there and perhaps they can cure her. This is where things get messy as we get a lot of spells and chanting with super drawn out scenes. These scenes take forever to get through and really hurt the movies pacing. It’s like everything grinds to a halt at some point.

Ultimately they aren’t all that helpful anyway. Jessica is too far gone but now they want to finish the job since they consider her undead like state to be unnatural. Roping them in just made things worse. It also turns out that Paul’s mother Mrs. Rand is involved with the tribe as she heals a lot of them by pretending to believe in the supernatural and became a witchdoctor of sort. It’s an interesting approach and if it’s to save people then I do think the deception was necessary there. It wasn’t a bad plan by any stretch but we’re really starting to lost focus on the movie itself.

I would have absolutely cut out the tribe as a whole. They didn’t blend in very naturally to the film and if you were going to do a supernatural spin then you should probably have put less drama into the film. Did we really need the romance triangle with the zombie? That could have been trimmed out and the film could have been a little more structured as a result. I wouldn’t say the writing was very good in this film either so that limits the possibilities as well.

As a main character you already know why I didn’t like Betsy. She falls into the romance too easily and also knows that Paul is still married so that should have stopped her right from the start. She also has a scene early on that doesn’t go well for her. They explain that you have to be brave to work in this position as a nurse and she figures that she’ll be fine but screams the first time Jessica walks around at night. When she wakes up, Betsy again says that she doesn’t scare easy and…you just don’t believe her at that point. I don’t like Paul for most of the same reasons with the romance. Additionally, the guy comes off as rather cold the whole time and doesn’t handle the situation well. Wesley’s awful for trying to have an affair with a married woman. That’s a massive blow to his character that cannot be overcome.

Jessica doesn’t really get to do anything in the movie since she’s an undead so there’s not much to say about her but based on what we know in the past she wasn’t a good character either. Finally there is Mrs. Rand who is at least making a difference in the village but ultimately she doesn’t contribute a whole lot beyond that. She barely had much of a point to even being in the film when you think about it. Also the supernatural seemed real here since the tribe could manipulate Jessica and use actual voodoo so the real science approach didn’t really work here.

Overall, This is a film you will definitely want to skip. It doesn’t really know what it wants to do. While the romance wasn’t very good, this could have been a decent drama film but once you add in the half hearted thriller elements and the tribe scenes it was all over. You can only endure scenes of them just staring at Betsy or chanting for so long before the movie just goes down as a result. This title is not a winner and it is probably also the most low key Zombie film you’ll see. It barely even qualifies as a zombie film in that sense since Jessica really only walks around like once or twice not counting the mind control.

Overall 3/10

Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen Review

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It’s time for the next Hallmark movie installment! As always it’s a solid experience all around and Hallmark is quite consistent with that. I did have some issues with the film relative to the others so this would not be one of the strongest ones but at the end of the day when your writing is on point and the film has good pacing, any issues tend to be quite minor ones.

The movie starts off with Ella messing up on another big Christmas decoration party by not following through and making sure that the musicians were set. Her sister Marianne is frustrated because apparently this happens a whole lot. They are co partners in their decorating firm but Marianne has really been doing all of the work. Ella is determined to make it up to her by nailing a big party this time on her own. She happens to overhear a CEO named Edward talking about a party and volunteers her company to complete it. Edward very reluctantly agrees and now it’s up to her to make this a success but is she really up for it?

On Edward’s side, he is the CEO of a really big toy company but ever since he took over the reigns from his father, it has not been going super smoothly. For some reason he just doesn’t seem to have as much of a knack for it and he’s confused since he is going through the data. He has to land this one big account or the company is finished and in the spur of the moment announces that the company will have a big party. Of course that isn’t true but he has to change that and this is where Ella comes in. So now they must hurry to make this deception work out.

I just saw a Hallmark film about lying to the boss so this plot happening again so soon is quite the coincidence. The main characters need to learn not to just lie to the boss when they get stressed out. Trust me on this when I say that it is absolutely not a good idea and will just get you into trouble every time. As for Edward not doing very well as the boss, it definitely makes sense from what we see. He’s been completely lost in his spreadsheets to the point where he cancelled the teddy bear that the company was known for. He said it was not selling well but the problem is that the company’s very identity revolved around the bear.

The company’s whole origin was based around it so getting rid of the bear was absolutely crazy. He seemed a bit short sighted with that decision and early on he is even debating making a toy worse to save some money. You do have to make some tough calls when balancing the checkbook and all the right funds but this was not the right way to do it. Not saying you have to get super emotional but he really wasn’t seeing things through. Even the scene where he nearly tells Ella he’s not interested in her doing the party was not a good move since he had no backup options at the time. This was a moment where he let his emotions get the best of him.

In general you know that he needs to improve a lot. I also thought his mild outburst at the father during their Christmas meal was a bit uncalled for. He did want to set straight that he would be leading in his own way…but in every scene we saw it would usually be Edward trying to impress him or running some numbers by him. I felt like his dad was always eager to help and offered advice (Which was usually very sound advice) when he was around but I didn’t get the vibe that he was super overbearing the whole time. So it felt a bit dramatic when I think his father would have understood right away either way.

As a final note, I also thought Edward badmouthing Ella’s group was a bad look near the end. Of course he has a reason for it but it was very presumptuous. You would want to let Ella make the call at the end of the day and you could let her know why you think it’s not a good idea. But the way he handled that was quite poor so I could see why Ella got upset. Ella jumped the gun quite a lot near the climax so I don’t fully agree with her but that scene was a really bad look. I’ve been taking lots of shot at Edward but at the end of the day he’s still a good guy. His voice is super deep which makes all of his scenes rather entertaining but he also goes out of his way to help Ella out with her future plans and you could say this was before he got super interested in her.

He handled the decorating situation well once he was pressed into it so he still had his good moments. As always I do feel like the romance was a little rushed though. You definitely don’t want to go after your head of party planning when you’re already so busy with the big party coming up. Going for a quick fling during the holidays seems like a recipe for disaster and you need a lot more time to have a quality romance going. That’ll always be a bit of a weak link in these films because there just isn’t enough time to properly develop a romance.

The film even tries to balance a second one here with Ella’s sister Marianne and Edward’s cousin Brandon. I didn’t think this one really needed to be here but at the same time I preferred both characters to their main counterparts. This is a case where the side characters were just really solid. Brandon was always ready to help out and didn’t jump to conclusions. If not for him the whole movie wouldn’t have even started. Meanwhile you totally get why Marianne gets upset in each instance since it’s not like Ella let her down once, but apparently it’s been a whole pattern of incidents. So you’re not so quick to forget when it happens over and over again.

Perhaps it got a little too serious by the end with them not talking to each other for a bit but you know eventually they’d get along again. As for Ella, she’s a good heroine but the party business may not be for her. She has a lot of fun in the moment but because of that she will do things on a whim rather than planning things out. It may have worked out here but that doesn’t mean it always will. It feels like a much more dangerous strategy than the structured way that Marianne has things. Of course with Edward being a very methodical person that should help them find a good middle ground.

Overall, The movie may not have always handled the drama aspects super well at times which is what made this one a bit weaker in some way but at the end of the day it still gets all of the fundamentals right. There are fun Christmas songs here and great scenery throughout the movie. It’s always got a fun vibe and a good amount of replay value because it’s just a nice film to watch on Christmas. Some scenes may make you wince just a little bit with the romance but you’re still in for a good time. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a fun Christmas title. It’s just solid fun.

Overall 6/10

The Mistletoe Promise Review

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The Christmas movies that Hallmark generates are always a lot of fun. They know exactly what they have to do in order to succeed and you’re always in for a very consistent experience. Well this one is no exception and I like the general idea behind the film. The idea of faking a relationship in order to get through some kind of event may not be new but it’s always very interesting.

We start off by being introduced to Nick who is in the running to become a partner at the law firm he works at. This is a really big deal and he’s been working towards this for quite a while now but the catch is that this firm is very family oriented. If you have a girlfriend or even better, a wife then your odds of being promoted are great. So Nick quickly tells his boss that he does in fact have a girlfriend and promises to bring her over for the big party at the end of the year.

Meanwhile we’re introduced to Elise who is in a tough spot right now because she divorced her husband but unfortunately never signed the paperwork when getting married so he ended up with half of her company. Unfortunately she tends to get walked all over by this guy in the business deals and she can only watch as he sinks the company into the ground while showing off his new girlfriend. As a result she no longer liked Christmas as this is the period of time where he rubs it in the most. That’s when she meets Nick in an airport and we get to The Mistletoe Promise.

Basically it’s a legally binding agreement where they will pretend to dating so Nick can get the promotion and in the meantime she can also parade him around the office to get back at her ex. In theory it’s a win win and of course one of the rules here is that nobody will catch feelings for the other. That’s the most important rule because without it the whole thing falls apart in an instant. So they better not let that happen…right? After all that would just wreck everything….

Of course you know that they’re going to fall for each other but you’re really hoping that somehow they won’t for most of the film. It would be a really brilliant ending if they actually stuck to the script and then went their separate ways after a while. Close experiences can certainly bring people together but you like to think that sometimes they wouldn’t magically see each other in that light and would keep it moving. If anything that would be particularly inspired and I would definitely be a fan of that. Ah well.

In general I wouldn’t say it’s a very strong romance but the film is able to do well either way. For starters the writing here is good so there is some fun banter and the characters have a good time beyond the romance. It’s always nice to make a new friend once you’re a grown up like that so it’s good that they each found a friend during this tough time. Nick still shouldn’t have lied to his boss though and I was glad that Elise basically said this to him a few times.

The company seemed really good and the boss was particularly nice so while this may be a theme Nick doesn’t agree with (Needing to have a family) you don’t get around that with deception. Also while that was the talk of the town, it didn’t seem like this was a hard and fast rule. Yes it’s possible that Nick wouldn’t have gotten the job but you still have to play this straight and give it your best shot without all the tricks.

Beyond that Nick seemed like a nice guy though. He tried hard to help everyone out when he has a case and his secretary appreciated him. Nick doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who will give anyone a raw deal. He may have not made all of the right choices here but for the most part he was reasonable and worked well as the main guy. He was also able to stand up for himself and talk tough to the Ex who was messing with Elise.

That’s the one aspect that huts Elise a lot which is that she doesn’t really stick up for herself. At best she will say something passive aggressive but at the end of the day she just sits there and lets the guy do whatever he wants. That’s not the right way to handle this situation. She still owns 50% of the company so I want to see her do something about it. Block some of his initiatives or launch some of her own to tie up the funds. Doing anything would be better than just sitting there and allowing all of this to happen. She was just way too timid the whole time and it could be really grating.

When she is in her role as Nick’s fake girlfriend she does well in throwing slight digs in at the opponent and really getting into the role but I wanted to see her use some of that strength in her personal life as well. Sometimes you do need to stick up for yourself and I just felt that she wasn’t really doing much of that over here. It puts her below most of the heroines in these Hallmark titles even if she was a very capable businesswoman otherwise. It’s easy to see how she got so jaded about love but it also means that you have even less reason to believe that she would fall in love again so quickly. That’s always the one weakness of the Hallmark films so it’s good that every other aspect is so good that it can still bounce back.

After all one thing the films never disappoint in is that they leave you feeling good. The movies have a very happy vibe about them and the ending is always satisfying. Things just work out and and you always get a lot of great scenery and backdrops throughout. This may not be one of the most ambitious titles out there but it has a fun plot and execution so I have no significant issues with it. I could certainly recommend it to anyone looking for some Christmas cheer.

Overall, The Mistletoe Promise is a solid film. It reminds you that just because you sign something saying you won’t have feelings for someone, doesn’t mean they won’t happen. When you develop those feelings it can be just about impossible to stop them and sometimes it can be impossible to predict them either. The more time you spend the more likely this could happen but don’t expect it to be so fast and perfect like in the movies. Ultimately it’s why an agreement like this would be risky in real life and either way there is no benefit as long as you aren’t trying to trick your boss. Honesty ends up being the best policy once more.

Overall 7/10

12 Dates of Christmas Review

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Time travel in my Christmas movie? That’s a great way to drum up some hype right from the jump because I like any kind of premise that involves messing with time a bit. The film’s going with rules similar to Groundhog Day where the main heroine is trapped in a spell sort of like Itachi’s Izanami. She must continue to relive the same day until she meets some kind of condition. Usually this involves learning a lesson about yourself but you never really know until you complete the objective. It makes for a fun film for sure.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Kate who is rather rude to everyone. She has not been having a fun time at all. Her father and step mom have set her up with a blind date but Kate has made plans to meet up with her Ex to try and win him back so she’s got a busy day coming up. There’s also the Christmas dinner with her folks but Kate figures she’ll ace everything. Unfortunately she is knocked out at the mall as she gets sprayed right in the face and when she wakes up she is in the loop. No matter how good or bad the day goes she keeps getting reset all the way back to the beginning of the day. How can she escape this loop and will she begin to find the faults with herself?

From the start you can see how Kate has a ton of issues so it makes sense that she would be getting a whole lot of character development here. She is rude to her next door neighbor, doesn’t take her friend’s advice seriously, is mean to her step mom for no reason, blows off the blind date, and then tries too hard with an ex who has moved on. So there is an absolute mess of things that she has to get right and of course this should sound like Groundhog Day. You start off by having fun with the whole thing going the path you think is right, then you try to fix everything, then you stop caring, and eventually you land on the right path.

In Groundhog Day I believe they said he spent thousands of cycles in the town which sounds crazy. For Kate she is around a whole lot of times but I would guess 30-40 max as opposed to it being such a long time so at least she doesn’t get as depressed. No matter how fun the day is though, eventually you will reach your limit because the repetition would just be too much. With your progress being reset each time as well it’s not like you could even try to win the lotto or something. I would probably use the time to start learning a new language or some kind of knowledge that would transfer over but that assumes that you haven’t lost hope in getting out of there in the first place anyway.

It’s also rough when you feel like you’ve done everything perfectly and still get looped. At that point do you just try harder and harder or do you give up? It would feel weird to try and do things exactly the same way again but at the same time you want to help people so you don’t want to just forget to help them in one loop. So in a way that means that the final loop where she gets out will usually not be quite as good as one of the failed ones. If you could control where you could end the loop then that would be perfect but of course it would be a little too convenient.

There are just so many possibilities when going through the scenarios as well so it’s hard to know where to even begin. We see all of the ripple effects when she just stops to talk to one different person. Then you also have to pretend that you aren’t tired of eating the same thing over and over again which has to be tough as well. Now there is one side effect of all this time travel which makes the romance one of the weakest ones I’ve seen in a bit. So we know that Kate is obsessed with getting back together with Jack. She tries this many times but ultimately realizes that it’s too late.

No matter what she does or how nice she is, he will always end up proposing to his new girlfriend. It makes sense, they’ve been split together for a very long time and he is serious about this girl, going back to Kate now would just make him look bad. That said, when Kate inevitably falls for Miles you can’t help but feel like it’s a rebound. He was absolutely the second choice. If in any loop Jack had actually said yes to her and gone back with her then she would not have given Miles the time of day.

Any time there’s a rebound romance I can’t say that it was a good one so this holds her back big time. There’s just no getting around that one. As for Miles, I had some issues with him as well. So this guy lost his wife fairly recent, I remember it was no longer than a few years max and I think they may have even just said it was a year ago. Either way he said it’s too tough to be alone at Christmas so that’s why he is looking around. A blind date feels desperate from the jump but fine we’ll roll with it.

In one loop Kate convinces him to skip the blind date and go out with her. He does after a mild amount of convincing and then they connect in another loop when she is undercover. The guy seems desperate for companionship by anyone. Sure, it’s her in each loop but he doesn’t know that she is the same person so that’s another reason why this romance would falter. At the end of the day he gave his word that he would be around for the blind date so skipping it so quickly like that isn’t a good look. He also has a tendency to take everything quite hard and then run off.

I don’t blame him on most occasions but once in a while he dashes off quickly like when Kate brought up her ex at the dinner table during one of the final loops. Kate’s ex Jack seemed reasonable at least. He didn’t fall for any of Kate’s traps and rejected her in every timeline. While he may have moved on to another romance rather quickly, at least he wasn’t going to backpedal. Once he made his decision then that was it. Meanwhile there was a nice guy named Toby who did his best as he waited at the diner but ultimately the girl never showed up. So it’s a bit of a tragic route for him but Kate helps him out in the end. That romance is even more rushed and doesn’t work but the film doesn’t give it much screen time anyway. If you’re desperate enough to go on a blind date then I guess you just hope that it works out.

This movie is definitely at its best when it is having fun with the premise and just going all out with the loops. It’s fun to see the main character slowly get more and more advanced in how much she knows and how to maneuver around the world. You’d think that you would quickly pick up on a lot of things when you live through the day over and over again like this. The movie’s pacing is good and the writing is solid. At most you could just say that Kate is a little too mean at first. She’s completely unlikable and you’d think that she was Scrooge the whole time.

It’s fortunate that she had the loops to protect her because otherwise she completely burns some bridges during the loops. Even before she gives up Kate is just so selfish and only caring about herself that she really makes life rough for the others. At one point during the film I felt like she was trying to ruin Christmas for everybody that she possibly could. Definitely not ideal main character behavior.

Overall, The 12 Dates of Christmas is a fun film. I always like films about a time loop since the premise is just so much fun. Who hasn’t thought about going back in time for a redo? If I had rolled a different way back in the Smash 4 days I could have made it to Tokyo and won the big tournament. It’s impossible not to think about things like that once in a while and the film gives you a chance to really visualize it. I’d definitely recommend checking this one out.

Overall 7/10

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Review

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I have to say this is definitely a film that I hadn’t heard of before now. It seems like a really obscure comic book movie even if they got a fairly big actress in this one. It’s a fun throwback to the more retro superheroes from the backgrounds to the plot and characters. It works well and I had a good time with the movie but I could see how the visuals would be rather mixed. It’s a very unique style that makes everything look mysterious like a noir film but it can also make you a bit queasy. I could see this getting people sick in the theaters, there’s something about the lighting that almost makes you dizzy. I dare say that a more traditional approach would have worked really well for the film even if it would perhaps make it a little less unique.

The film starts with reporter Polly looking into why a bunch of scientists have been disappearing. Her boss warns her not to get mixed up with all of this though because it’s quite dangerous but she is determined to get in the mix. She’s much like Lois Lane in that no story is too dangerous for her. Well she meets up with the last scientist yet and his name is Dr. Jennings. He rambles about how a guy named Totenkopf is going to murder them all because he was part of some project but he runs off without giving too many details. Not a very smart move tbh. Then giant robots attack the city and the government is forced to call in the Sky Captain. This guy is as tough as they come. He has a tough airplane and has a way with words.

Brute strength won’t win the day this time though so he may have to team up with Polly. Thing is, they have a lot of beef with each other. Sky Captain seems to go on the rebound at times and Polly would lie/steal from Sky Captain. They really just didn’t match and I think the film had fun making things as bad between them as possible. Still there is no escape from the team up this time so they have to get ready to talk like the old days. Really none of them are going to do much against a ton of robots so it’s all about finding Totenkopf’s base and taking him out.

As the main heroine I’d say that Polly does a really good job here. She’s a fun character and I’ll always give her credit for just jumping into the danger and doing her thing. She won’t be stopped by anybody. You can see how that may not make it easy for her in a romance since she is quite independent and will keep taking risks anyway. It’s much easier to do that when you aren’t tied down since you can then take all the risks that you want. She will need to be a little more careful with the photos she takes though. There is a scene at the very end of the film that has to be heartbreaking. It’s a comedy scene and all but is still rough for her. She ultimately chose sentimentality over doing the job and that cost her big time.

Then we have the Sky Captain who may not have a ton of personality but he’s one of those old heroes that you can’t help but like. He has a lot of confidence and is not afraid to go up against incredibly powerful fighters all on his own. At the end of the day he is just a normal guy so the fact that he is able to go up against giant mechs without batting an eye is impressive. He may be a little harsh with Polly which huts him in terms of being professional but otherwise is reasonable throughout the movie. He’s quick on his feet and is very decisive with all of his actions. You won’t get any hesitation out of him. The city would have been doomed without him.

What superhero would be complete without a sidekick though right? He has Dex at the ready and he’s really the tech guy. He analyses sounds back at the base so they can track the villains. He’s always handy to have around and while he may not be an active fighter, that doesn’t stop him from always getting into the mix. It would have been nice to have seen him in the field more but you do get a little of that in the climax. Ultimately while sidekicks are a staple, I think they usually aren’t needed for a film even if that is tradition. If you are going to do it then the sidekick should be able to hold his own and fortunately Dex wasn’t a liability for most of the movie.

Totenkopf makes for a solid main villain here and the film throws some twists your way by the end. One thing I was really impressed with was how high tech everything was. The robotics and tech at the ready look a bit ahead of their time. Both in and out of universe, they did a good job on the special effects. In a way it also helps that I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this film. I suppose I was thinking of something a little more grounded than what we got here so that ended up working out quite nicely. Surprising me with a lot of extra action all around is a win in my book.

I think this could have made for a pretty solid franchise. There aren’t any parts of the film that I would say were very weak. It’s well balanced on all sides from the characters to the fights. Perhaps I would switch gears with the villain in the sequel and make it someone who can get a lot more screen time and maybe even fight the Sky Captain in hand to hand. That’s more of a style choice though, so long as the execution is good then they could do a film like this again. It’s a very direct movie that delivers on what you would expect without relying on any gimmicks. You have to be confident in your writing skills to pull that off and this film did good there.

Overall, The Sky Captain is a pretty good film. It may not have ended up being all that big but it gets the job done. If you see this one around then I’d recommend checking it out. It’s an interesting movie and I can always use more comic book superhero type films. It may not have become a big franchise but then that means you can really enjoy this adventure as some kind of stand alone. The pacing is quick so the movie never drags on or anything either.

Overall 7/10

Little Shop of Horrors (1986) Review

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I can’t say that I enjoyed the first Little Shop of Horrors much at all and this one really isn’t much better if it even is better. The concept of a plant that eats people is certainly interesting enough but the film is bogged down with bad characters and the music doesn’t work very well. I’m convinced that the best songs are always found in films that are ironically not musicals. The musicals don’t seem to land as well, even if that does sound a bit odd. I guess One Piece Film: Red is an exception but I’d call that more of a concert film than a musical so the point stands.

The movie starts by introducing us to our hapless hero Seymour. He’s a big pushover at the shop and he has a big crush on his colleague Audrey but doesn’t have the guts to admit it. He’s always messing up with something and so the day gets away from him awfully fast. One day an alien plant crash lands on Earth and Seymour ends up looking after it. Perhaps his luck is finally changing? This plant is growing fast and may turn the plant store he works at from being a place that nobody know about to a full highlight among the town’s residents. That’s quite the upgrade but it’s not without a catch. This plant which he calls Audrey II can only grow with blood and it needs quite a lot of it. Seymour has to be careful that he isn’t tempted too far into the dark side and if he lowers his guard he may be eaten alive.

I have a lot of issues with the film so where to start. It’s always fun trying to think of how to play this. I guess we’ll start with the music. It gets a bit obnoxious really quick as the songs keep jumping in every few minutes. I didn’t even care for any of the songs all that much. They don’t really fit the film too well and they weren’t really my style. It felt more like a quantity over quality thing and quickly hurt the movie’s pacing.

Then I usually don’t really consider attire to venture into the realm of fanservice on its own. It’s really all in the camera work if you ask me and how the directing is going but this film is quite shameless about it. Any time Audrey is on screen you can tell the film is putting a lot of focus on her and aside from just smashing the film’s story to pieces as these scenes detail it, it’s just unnecessary. Even beyond being used for fanservice the whole time, Audrey looks really bad here. So she lacks self confidence like Seymour and as a result she goes out with Orin, an abusive guy who treats her like dirt the whole film.

She seems to think she deserves this for some wild reason and it’s why she never approaches Seymour. Keep in mind that this film is part comedy and dare I say parody so that’s probably supposed to be a bit funny but it’s just bizarre. The film could have done a lot better with her character. Then any scene with Orin in it is very cringe worthy. So he’s a dentist in this version and the guy gets really excited to be dishing out pain to people. In fact the only reason he took the job is because it gives him a legal way to inflict pain on people for as much as he wants. The guy is as unbalanced as they come but you probably knew that by now. It takes a while for him to be taken out and in the meantime he’s just awful.

Then this isn’t a vampire film but it might as well be with how Audrey II has to suck Seymour’s blood the whole time. Those scenes are always rather gross and the film doesn’t hold back on the sound effects. There’s something about drinking blood that’s always rather gut wrenching and one of numerous reasons why any vampire related media is in for a very rough time right out of the gate. All of those scenes are just really bad. I’m glad that Audrey II talks a whole lot and has a full personality but that’s hardly enough to help the film fully recover. At least I can give it props for trying some different things and expanding on the overall plot but it would need serious re-writes to even approach being good.

Making Audrey II a big villain with a lot of fight scenes would have been a good first step though if you ask me. I already talked about Seymour so you can guess that I don’t like the guy. He doesn’t stand up for himself at all and that’s a big problem. He is quickly tainted to the dark path and while things work out for him, it’s hard to really root for him. It’s not like he’s some hero. He had a rough time of it sure but it doesn’t really excuse his actions at all.

The only character I liked quite a bit was Mushnik and even he can’t really be trusted the whole time. I liked how his personality did a 180 near the end though. You really didn’t see it coming because the whole time he had seemed like a really decent guy. Perhaps not the nicest but from what we had seen of Seymour you would assume that he used to be nicer but finally had enough of the main guy making a mess of things. So Mushnik’s character arc goes in a unique direction.

There’s also a random character who gets involved in the dentist subplot but that’s more of a random moment than anything. What happens when someone who enjoys pain meets someone who likes dishing it out? It certainly makes things tricky that’s for sure. Maybe all of the characters in this film are just crazy. It would explain a lot. The movie does have a decent ending to set things up for the sequel though. If it decided to take a different turn you could really make this into a proper alien invasion film.

One nitpick for Seymour’s character is also that he doesn’t think things through. When the shop was finally getting famous due to the big plant, he should have tried to stockpile as much money as he could so he could then escape there. Take Audrey and go to a better city, leave Mushnik to deal with the plant. Mushnik would be thrilled at first and you can let him figure out the true danger of the plant. It would have made a whole lot more sense than just not wanting any attention and putting himself in a corner. He always made the wrong choices.

Overall, The Little Shop of Horrors is a movie you will want to pass on. It does live up to being as crazy as the premise of the movie would suggest but it’s just so bad on every level. There really isn’t any saving this movie because you would need to try again from the ground up. At this point it’s probably worth just letting this franchise rest in peace instead of trying once again. After a point you just have to cut your losses so I would say to avoid this film and keep moving. You aren’t missing anything here.

Overall 2/10

Dirty Harry Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the uncut version would be more negative

Dirty Harry is certainly a classic in the world of thriller films. It’s a title you’ve definitely heard of and it’s gotten quite a few movies. After watching the film I can see how it would help make vigilantes really popular in media. This really taps into the appeal of characters like the Punisher who are able to take things a step past the law when the villains exploit loopholes. The film gets quite serious and isn’t afraid to push Harry to his limits. It’s got just enough restraint to keep from getting too dicey and ends up being a solid movie.

The movie starts off with a mysterious murderer named Scorpio shooting someone on the roof. He then begins sending letters to the police with warnings that he will continue to murder more people until they heed his demands. At first they don’t intend to listen to him but as the bodies start to pile up they consider just paying him the money. Harry is absolutely against this because he feels that once you give the villain an inch then he’ll take a mile. The demands won’t stop and he figures the hostage that Scorpio kidnapped is likely already dead anyway. He’s overruled by the boss though who wants Harry to go through with the plan anyway and deliver the money. Can Harry find a way to stop Scorpio while dealing with all the red tape?

Hostage situations are never easy but there is a reason why the U.S. and many other countries have a firm policy that they do not negotiate with terrorists. The reason for this is that it really is never ending. If you pay off one of them then you will end up having to pay them all off and more villains will begin to copy this approach. If you don’t negotiate then yes the initial hostages will perish but less villains will be incentivized to even make this attempt because there is no pay off. They know that they won’t be getting any profits off of this.

The movie certainly agrees with that logic as Scorpio plays them the whole time. It’s also putting Harry at a disadvantage since as the messenger boy he is always one step behind and is basically at Scorpio’s whims with all the running around. Scorpio can take him out at any time while Harry has to keep his guard up. Fortunately Harry is very resourceful and manages to outsmart Scorpio but in almost any other case he’d be dead. So when the cops just want to do this again and again, it really doesn’t seem to be very efficient.

The movie also deals with the classic issue of everyone knowing that a villain is guilty but legally they can’t lock him up due to a loophole. Even in real life I always roll my eyes when there is a case with complete proof but the evidence isn’t admissible in court because it wasn’t submitted in time or something like that. It feels like a common sense issue where the evidence should absolutely be considered when we know that it is genuine. Likewise if you get information through non legal channels then it won’t be counted as well.

So in this case even though we now Scorpio has murdered several people, was caught with weapons in his home and confessed to it, plus fired at an officer of the law, they can’t keep him in prison. Moreover he is allowed to walk free without anyone allowed to follow him. The whole thing seems absolutely batty and that’s why the whole concept of Dirty Harry is that he is tempted to do things off the books because every legal attempt failed. It makes for a very difficult choice of course because once you cross that line there is no coming back from that. It’s tough to go back behind the line once you’re over it because then you’ll notice this scenario happening all the time.

It’s why anti heroes are so popular. I’ll keep this tangent brief so we go back to the main plot but part of why people support characters like the Punisher is because they seal up these loopholes. If you live in the city or neighborhood where a mass murderer was let go, it won’t be of much comfort for you to hear on the news that he had to be let go due to whatever loophole was in place. You figure that you’re in danger so when the Punisher shows up and takes the guy out, a part of you is relieved. Light Yagami from Death Note is a classic example of this. He apparently ended over 90% of crime in just the span of a few years due to the fear from criminals that they would be next. He’s certainly no hero but if you lived in that world you now had a much greater chance of not being murdered or robbed. So even if you don’t condone the action you can’t help but appreciate it as you enjoy your life. It’s why there are so many films with characters like this because it’s a really easy sell and Dirty Harry makes a strong case for it.

Scorpio is shown to be as twisted and underhanded as a villain gets. You don’t want to see him get off so easy because you know that he will continue his crimes. He clearly enjoys them and wastes almost no time in getting back on the action. It’s only a shame that he got away with so much before Harry was able to be put on the case. I could have done without some of the descriptions in the movie even if it was to show how deranged the guy was. He’s not a villain that you will forget so easily.

Meanwhile Harry makes for a great main character. It should be noted that he does make every attempt to do this by the book at first. He follows orders even when they don’t make a lot of sense and he’s not just going around trying to murder Scorpio. It’s just that every attempt doesn’t work and he sees how crazy the suits are when they say things like how he should have handled a different case in another way even though he saved a girl’s life from a lunatic. There’s a big disconnect with the upper bosses that becomes more evident as the film goes by.

That said, I don’t blame his partner Chico for throwing in the sack and retiring. At the end of the day this is a super dangerous job and you never know if you’ll be walking away for the last time or not. So after nearly dying you understand why he would be hesitant to go back into the ring. Being a police officer is an extremely difficult position that only some are really able to do. You have to be prepared for death at any moment. I know I wouldn’t be a good fit for that job for example.

Overall, Dirty Harry is a very intense film that keeps you on your toes. It shows how tough it is to stop someone who has really set their mind on doing harm to someone. Even in real life if someone is crazy enough and has no regard for their own life then they will cause some kind of disaster before they are stopped. It happens all the time and if there is any loophole that causes them to get out then another incident will occur. Vigilantes can’t be allowed to operate in the real world not only because of the slippery slope but because assuming they can have a 100% accurate policy of only going after villains would be idealistic at best. In the movies though it can be satisfying to see the villain get it at the end. The movie ending with Scorpio going free would have been absolutely horrible and it’s no exaggeration to say that the movie would have been a 1 or lower. So you can’t end like that and this movie had a really good ending. It’s a satisfying one after that tough journey.

Overall 6/10

It Lives Again Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Whenever you have a film where the villain is an evil baby you are probably in trouble. There are only so many ways you can try to make that work and to date I don’t think any movie has succeeded. There are some interesting elements to the movie for sure and it almost gets into government conspiracy territory but at the end of the day it’s still just not able to get past the premise and I would advise skipping past this movie asap!

So it turns out that mutant babies are being born all across the country. The government has decided to take them down because of the danger that they pose. There are certain things they can use to detect if a couple is going to have one of these babies. The detection isn’t 100% accurate but it’s close enough so if they get a false reading…well that’s going to be another dead baby. Almost nobody knows about this though except for Frank who figured this out after the events of the first film. He heads over to Jody and Eugene to warn them about this since Jody is currently pregnant with a baby that is slated to be one of these demons. They’re rather skeptical but the government isn’t very subtle which tips their hand early. Can the couple escape with Frank or should they stick with the government. Can they trust either one of them?

This is one of those films where you absolutely do not want to trust anybody though. Think about it, the government is absolutely a group you want to avoid because they are going to murder the baby straightaway. So getting away from them is a top concern even if it means going with Frank and his group but then you probably want to escape from them at some point as well. They’ve got a whole lab set up including a bunch of babies in cages. That’s already rather ominous right? So just keep on moving.

What makes it tough though is that Eugene isn’t even really sure if he wans to keep the kid. He’s a little nervous about the whole thing and you totally get it. The kids look like monsters and if they are true demons then is it really even their kid? The way he and Jody handle the situation is bad though as they keep flip flopping. It makes things very easy for the babies to go around beating them up and claiming more victims. For the most part Jody is really the one who wants the kid and you get it because she still did give birth to him. So she has that strong mother’s instinct in play even when the kid seems rather crazy.

This naturally leads to a lot of fighting between the main two. Meanwhile Eugene is scared out of his wits half the time until she talks him back into it. So he doesn’t get to have a whole lot of fun here. In the end I wasn’t particularly a big fan of any of the characters. Frank did well in finding the characters and trying to save the babies but I didn’t think that the place did a great job of looking after them. Somehow things worked out for a while but you should see how they handle these kids. The doctor just opens the cage when it’s feeding time. Inevitably you know this won’t end well.

It’s hard to know what you should even do with the kids long term. It seems like they can’t be tamed so do you just have to keep them in cages forever? They’ll grow up soon in theory so you’ll need more and more space. It just doesn’t seem sustainable. Of course just murdering them like the government isn’t the answer either. It basically means everyone is just in a really bad situation here and I would have liked for the film to focus on this a little more. Let us really think about the moral implications of what is going on here and let us take sides.

Personally I think you would just need an island for these creatures to live in peace but then you have the logistics of getting the families to agree to this and safe procedures to transport them. All aspects that are much tougher than they sound so it’s not something you can just do 1-2-3. The film isn’t super interested in answering these questions though as the second half just becomes your average horror film. The monster babies go around biting and stabbing everyone and you know that the humans are doomed.

It’s all rather violent and you’re just waiting for the government to show up and clean house. The babies seem to enter rage mode at the drop of a hat so you feel like there is really no hope even early on. The film has an interesting ending that could lead to a sequel or you could take it as more of a “The cycle will continue” but to what end? The way the film ends there are certainly less resources so you can’t directly do what Frank did. It would be difficult to replicate that at least without a lot of finances. Ultimately it feels like the government won this round.

It’s a bit tragic because there are some interesting plots here but they really aren’t able to carry the film for very long. I liked Frank’s entrance at the house when he starts telling the characters about what is going on. The scene of all the cops showing up outside of the hospital was suitably ominous and helped the main characters start to piece things together. The movie knew how to build a rather intense atmosphere and so they really should have stuck to that instead of going the horror route. Having everything be shrouded in mystery and the characters going into hiding would have been interesting. Give us more scenes with the government and what they’re planning. Beyond the demon kids the world seems realistic so what do a lot of the inside agents think about this? It’s still like murdering normal babies so surely there are some who would be against this.

Overall, It Lives Again has the wrong priorities here. I think if you tone down the violence a lot and make the babies a non factor then this could have been interesting. Have the film be a debate about what to do with them as the number of babies continues to expand. We could get some good plans out of that and maybe slowly see the doom approaching the country as every minute of inaction means more people are being taken down. It’s hard to escape the inevitable issue of having to shoot the babies though and the film naturally gets dark as a result. I think there are ways around this but I won’t say that it’s easy. It’s just something you have to try and side step. So switching the premise entirely is the best bet but this is a long winded way of saying that your best bet is to just skip this one.

Overall 2/10

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li Review

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It’s kind of cool that Street Fighter actually got a movie as recent as 2009. It was certainly a bold take to do a movie about Chun Li with very few references to the world at large. You’d almost think they were trying to make some kind of cinematic universe for Street Fighter. Well, whatever the objective was, I can’t say that it worked super well since nobody talks about this film. It’s too bad since the movie was good although it does have enough issues to where I can’t call it great. Mortal Kombat remains as the elite fighting game movie.

The movie introduces us to Chun Li early on and how she really enjoyed fighting. It was a way for her to connect with her father and she was also quite good at this. It wasn’t long before she would end up being one of the top fighters around but he was kidnapped a while back by Bison. Chun Li’s mother dies later on and the heroine decides she will continue to live a brave and tough life no matter how dangerous it is. So when she receives a scroll that may have the answers she needs to find Bison and take him down, she can’t overlook this. Is Chun Li really ready to take on these powerful villains though?

The movie may be close to the 2010s era but it feels more like an early 2000s film with the jarring scene transitions and narration throughout. The colors are also different, it’s almost blue at times which is something that makes me think of older films as well. It does help the movie to stand out I suppose which is good but some of the techniques haven’t aged really well. Instead of coming across as cool, it just feels like the movie is trying to tell you how intense it all is.

I’ll give the film props for the fight scenes though. They’re more on the simple side but each one goes hard. I liked Chun Li’s battle against Vega as she destroyed the guy. Yes, he does look pretty bad here but I don’t mind since we saw Li training a whole lot during the film. She had to really pull herself to the limits of what she could take and she did this well. (I do think the training was still excessive as there is one moment where she almost dies because she’s nearly pushed into a saw type device) Vega has likely been assassinating people who can’t fight back for a long time so I doubt he’s been training as extensively. This would end up being a bit of a wake up call for him. The two tend to be natural enemies in the games so it was a nice tribute to that.

Vega still had the initial scene of taking out some delegates which was really cool though. I do feel like these gangsters always take a lot of risks though. Of course as the viewer we know that Bison is going to absolutely destroy these guys but even without that, why not bring a bodyguard to these meetings? If you are told not to then just don’t go right? What is to stop Bison from murdering these guys? Nothing and that’s the problem. It seems like it’s real easy for Bison to go all the way to the top. I’ll still give him credit because he was determined from the start but it was a bad look for the other villains all around.

Bison is portrayed more as a classic villain tycoon as opposed to a supervillain in this film but it works out well. I would have been upset if he couldn’t fight but he still has his hand to hand skills on point and even starts to overwhelm Chun Li during their fight. The movie never forgets that he is one of the top fighters and that’s a good thing because he should be generating a good amount of respect. It takes a lot of people to defeat him and that’s as it should be. He makes for a fun villain and even has a bit of an honor code where he will spare kids if he can help it.

As for Chun Li, I definitely liked her portrayal here. She has definitely lost herself in the quest of vengeance for a bit but considering how much she has gone through that definitely makes sense. As the film goes on she learns to fight with others as well and to not let this get as personal. It’s a very complete journey for her and by the sequel (If it had gotten one) she would have really been a top professional all around. If any character could get a film aside from Ryu it would definitely have been her. It would have been nice if she could have worn something that looked similar to the costume in the games though as a fun reference.

In the B plot we have Nash who has been trying to find Bison for years. Well, in a way he’s found him but it’s hard to get any evidence to put him away. This time he has some help since the cops led by Maya are here to help but in the end none of them are able to help all that much. The most embarrassing scene by far for them is when they are on a stakeout and have to make sure they don’t lose track of the villains but take time to quickly embrace and mess around. While they’re doing that the villain just drives off….that was just bad. It was such a sad moment.

From the start Nash seemed interested in Maya as he would stare at her and make comments so you knew he wasn’t a great agent. You just hoped that Maya would then be the one ready for action but that wasn’t the case either. So both of them aren’t very good and you really could have cut them out of the movie entirely. It really wouldn’t have changed much at all because they don’t contribute. Sure, they beat up some minions from time to time but Chun Li and her mentor do all the hard work. The mentor character was solid from start to finish at least. While I disagree on his training methods, at least he is strong and does a lot of work for himself. He may not be a match for Bison anymore but he is still tough overall.

The film can get a little dark like with Bison murdering one guy Man of Steel style and as we see the state of the city but for the most part it’s a fairly light action film. One thing I disagreed with for Chun Li though was in deciding to not keep any money or assets at all so she would just live on the street. I know that the scroll said she needed to really be within the city in order to make a difference but this was a little risky. Maybe use your money to help people out in the neighborhood and draw out Bison or at least get yourself a little room. It’s like getting yourself arrested on purpose to check out a jail, I feel like the plan’s risk level outweighs the benefits. Things worked out for Chun Li but they easily could have failed.

I could also have gone without the dancing scene. You figured it was inevitable that Chun Li would have to use attraction to distract a villain as it seems to be mandatory for any female agent but you always have to shake your head at that. I’d rather she just busted in and started taking some names. It does lead to a fight scene at least where she dominates the opponent but lets just jump right into the action. The movie definitely understood that Chun Li is a premiere fighter so after the training she crushes most of her opponents. Those are the scenes you really want to watch at all times. “Street Fighter” is still in the name after all and this film could have benefited from more fights. There’s a good amount of action but I think a few more fights would have fit in quite nicely.

Overall, It’s a bit of an odd Street Fighter movie but it gets the job done. Maybe you should just look at it as a normal revenge film and then you’ll appreciate it more. Just hearing the names is always fun as you feel that nostalgia though. There still aren’t many games that can really match the pure hype and name recognition that this series has. It’s why just including Ryu in there for a little bit or as a stinger at the end would have been perfect. Maybe next time I suppose.

Overall 7/10