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The She Creature Review

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It’s time for a really old film that I didn’t really hold out much hope for. I fully expected another Voodoo Woman kind of movie that would leave me shaking my head. Luckily, this film actually wasn’t half bad. It had a pretty decent plot and while the characters were annoying and kept making the wrong decisions, they weren’t too bad either. It’s a fun little film that works as a creature feature and the design for the monster is actually pretty solid.

A mad scientist/hypnotist by the name of Lombardi is at it again with his fantastic experiments. A skeptic of his notices Lombardi leaving a house in the middle of the beach and checks the place only to find 2 corpses in his wake. The cops go after Lombardi, but they can’t find any proof about what he has done and the hypnotist claims that a monster did it. Every time Lombardi has one of his hypnotism shows for a crowd, the monster shows up and murders someone. The cops decide that they’re going to have a stake out and wait for the monster to show up. Will their guns be enough to stop it?

This plot only works at all because Andrea is very weak willed. The whole show revolves around Lombardi hypnotizing her and then leaving her in a trance for hours. She’s told him not to do it, but he does anyway. She never leaves though so her complaints seem quite half hearted at best. Hypnotism like this is also super fake. I’ve seen it tried in person and I was yawning at the futile attempts to put me to sleep. The hypnotist would have had better luck if he had brought in the LoTR collection for everyone to watch. Her will power is extremely weak and you’d think that her subconscious would at least order the monster within her to destroy Lombardi.

You heard that right, her subconscious awakens her original self…a monster. Apparently all humans were once monsters according to Lombardi’s theories and it is so powerful that we can only wonder as to how intense the world was back then. The monster has a cool design and it is completely bullet proof. That alone is enough to make him a pretty intimidating threat. Well, I guess I should say she. She uses her claws slash away at the heroes and one hit is usually enough to claim victory. The catch is that she is very slow. One guy had the right idea in this film as he’d fire off a pair of shots and then walk away. He’d turn again and fire a few more shots…then walk away. Finally, someone was fighting a monster as they’re meant to be fought. He still didn’t last forever and made the mistake of trying to take a quick jab at the monster. Naturally this didn’t go over very well. He did put up a better fight than the first guy. That guy just stayed in his bed so the monster turned him into a sandwich.

Yes, the body count is pretty intense by the end of this film. Even the main cop who was helping out the whole time managed to underestimate the monster. It’s too bad since he was the best character in the film. He may not have believed the tale about the monster, but he took precautions against it just in case and even threw in some good burns to boot. There were a lot of insults flying around in this movie. Even the butler of the house got his moments although it was sometimes a little hard to hear what he was saying thanks to his thick accent. His most notable moment was getting chased away by the dog. The dog was easily a highlight in the film by the way. He may not have done too well against the powers of hypnosis, but he was always brave enough to give it a whirl the next day. He could bark with the best of them.

The main lead wasn’t so good though. It’s interesting because he’s not even mentioned in Wikipedia’s plot summary and why should he be? The guy doesn’t do a whole lot and never becomes a good character. He constantly laments about how he can’t fit in well with rich people since he’s a farmer boy by nature. He leers at Andrea as soon as she enters the room and never really has any class. He may also be a hypnotist, but he is apparently powerless to stop anything that Lombardi is doing. The main guy likes to criticize Lombardi the whole time, but ultimately can’t prove anything himself so he comes across as all talk. Sabotaging Lombardi’s show in front of everyone may have been satisfying to him, but he made it so obvious that it was practically petty. The guy was just annoying whenever he was on screen.

As for Lombardi, he was a pretty bland villain. His plan was still pretty awful since anyone with even a little common sense wouldn’t have stood around to get hypnotized. He also didn’t think the ending through very carefully as the monster is naturally going to go after him. What beast in its right mind wouldn’t at that point in time? I guess Lombardi had fun bumping people off left and right, but he didn’t have a master plan so you could only guess as to his purpose in the end.

This is definitely not a film that you watch for the plot. You’re really just here to see the monster take everyone down. It was definitely more than a match for all of the humans who tried to oppose it here. Beyond that, the film was just light and fun as it should be. A proper monster flick should give you some fun monster scenes and a plot that doesn’t take itself too seriously before wrapping up. I’d say that this movie followed the formula correctly. It definitely went all the way with some characters like the butler and Lombardi’s boss as the boss would throw out a lot of insults and the butler would spread gossip and secretly help the cops out when the dog wasn’t chasing him around.

Overall, The She Creature isn’t a misleading title where the monster barely gets to appear. It gets a good amount of screen time here and the ending is pretty solid. You will have to suspend a lot of disbelief for all of the hypnotism moments and they will get you as annoyed with Andrea as you are with Lombardi. The main guy never ends up growing on you so you’ll just be waiting for someone to bump him off by the end. It’s not exactly Godzilla, but this film’ll do just fine. I’d recommend checking it out if you enjoy these ind of monster films. If not, you’ll still enjoy it just for the nice retro feel that it brings to the table.

Overall 6/10

Maximum Ride Review

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Maximum Ride may have been a really popular book series back in its hay day, but that doesn’t mean that it was destined to get a big budget film. On the contrary, the film got a really low budget title instead. The effects in this feature look worse than some fan made projects that I’ve seen and I’d expect a lot more out of it. Parts of the film show glimpses of hope and potential, but on the whole it is simply not a great adaption. Ah well, maybe it’s for the best that it ended here since an adaption of the last few books would have been dicey even with a big budget. Hopefully the inevitable Daniel X Netflix pilot gets a higher budget.

The film starts off with Max and the rest of her flock. She is a human who has had wings grafted onto her and the same applies to her friends. They escaped from the villains thanks to the help of a scientist there. It’s been many years and the scientist never returned for them. He is either dead or imprisoned. Max and her flock have been hiding at a hut during this time, but the Erasers (Wolf hybrids that were created by the villains) show up one day and kidnap Angel. (The youngest of the group) Max and Fang (The “tough” rival) decide to go after her while they leave the little kid, the blind one, and the fashion girl to fend for themselves. Is this a wise move? Probably not, but Max has to save Angel as soon as possible. The clock is ticking after all.

This movie definitely doesn’t bother to explain a whole lot to the viewers, but that’s okay. It gave you enough to make piecing the puzzle together pretty easy. It gets right to the plot, but unfortunately it isn’t executed well. Maximum herself is one of the big issues here. Now, the film did do a good job of casting her so that she actually looks like my interpretation of Max as opposed to the manga. (Worst design for Maximum ever) That’s where the positives end for her. She talks a really good game and is constantly making threats, but always ends up losing. She loses in one hit to a minion and then loses to an ordinary guy with a gun. She even loses to Ari when they meet up. It makes her confidence seem very hollow and undeserved. Max is definitely a lot more reasonable than the other characters, but that’s a very small consolation when you are still losing left and right.

The other characters are mostly just around to make bad decisions. Nudge is more interested in fashion than in keeping up with the others. She nearly jeopardizes everyone’s safety over a sweater and also takes the time to browse while Angel is in trouble. I certainly couldn’t sympathize with her at all. Gazzy likes explosives and messing around with them even after being told not too. He’s essentially your average kid and isn’t all that likable as a result. Iggy isn’t a bad character, but being blind is his only personality. Beyond that, he’s just an everyday guy who can talk a decently tough game, but doesn’t do a whole lot beyond that.

Ari is the main villain of this film or at least the guy with the biggest role. He’s a minion who has a personal grudge against Max. He snarls a lot and makes faces to be intimidating, but I can’t say that the act was all that convincing. It was hard to ever respect him as a villain either since he came across as really petty. He just got jealous of Max and that’s why he decided to become a villain. Certainly not the best reason eh? Jeb shows up and acts as shady as possible. I never trusted this guy from the start and I’d advise you to do the same. No matter what his reasons are, he did leave the heroes alone for years and didn’t seem all that broken up about it. Yeah…the guy seems suspect to say the least. I never liked him in the books either though.

Fang was horribly miscast, but ignoring that…he’s just not a good character. His romance feels very artificial and he always gives Max bad advice. Telling her not to help people and to actively just ignore trouble is something you’d expect a villain to say. It’s hard for Fang to get past this and he comes off as very self centered. Finally, there’s Angel. She’s not nearly as shady as in the books (yet) so she’s a good character. I do question how she was captured so easily when mind reading is her own gimmick. I mean…..it just didn’t make sense. She could even hear the thoughts while she was still far away from the villains. Naturally, the movie cut away so you couldn’t see what happened next since nobody would have believed it otherwise.

I’ll give the film some props for the dynamic opening credits. It sounded like something out of a video game adaption or a Tron kind of movie. Was it totally fitting for this film? No, but it should have been. How I see it, a good novel adaption can be mainstream like Harry Potter or it can be more of a niche product that aims at the hardcore fans. The theme fits the latter and I feel like the film was going for that, the execution just wasn’t there. There wasn’t much of a soundtrack otherwise and the writing is pretty generic.

One noticable issue is the bad special effects. It’s not as if special effects is a huge deal, but they are so painfully bad that you have to wonder who was handling this. I’ve seen fan projects with better effects or at least flashier ones at any rate. Whenever the characters fly around, it looks like they’re just jumping in front of a background as if we’re back in the 60s. It was scary just how unrealistic it all looked. I’m sure the film tried its best, but the result just wasn’t very good. If the effects were gonna be bad anyway, then I would have liked to have had some big fight scenes along the way. Not having any real action in the whole film is a bit of a let down. The film’s not all that bad as a drama adventure I suppose, but it’s hard to take the heroes so seriously when they’re this weak. If they can’t even beat a thug with a gun, then how can they hope to stop this whole organization? You really have to stretch your disbelief with this.

The heroes also take a little long to get to Angel. While she’s being repeatedly zapped, they’re busy getting knocked out, spending time at a hospital, and flirting instead of going full steam. It made them seem a little unemotional when they should have been going full blast constantly. Naturally, Fang kept saying that they should take a break and rest since that’s all he’s good for during the film.

Overall, Maximum Ride isn’t a really good adaption. The heroes are too weak and all of the villains are as generic as can be. Considering how young Angel is, it’s also a little grating to see her getting zapped over and over again as she waits for the heroes. The cliffhanger for the possible sequel is definitely not much of a draw either. The dream came out of nowhere and didn’t really help much. My final pet peeve is the opening scene as well as when it comes in at the end. Max jumps off of a cliff to escape the villains. It’s a dramatic moment and I figured it wouldshow her taking out the wings and flying off. It didn’t happen either times so I’ll assume she just died in the dream world. Maybe the budget ran out, but everything in the scene pointed towards her being ready to fly and it just didn’t happen. It was fitting I suppose.

Overall 4/10

ATM Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Ah man…it’s time for a modern indie thriller. Now, I try not to have anything against indie films as it’s nice for people to make their own films and get them out into the market. The problem is that 90% of the indie films that I’ve seen have all been rather terrible. This film is no exception as its aggravating characters and poorly thought out plot leave much to be desired. You’ll probably spend most of the film correcting the writers or pointing out how unrealistic the characters are. Most of the film relies on the assumption that the heroes aren’t smart at all and that all of the background characters have no common sense. These assumptions don’t lead to a smart movie.

There aren’t a lot of characters here since just about the whole film takes place in a portable ATM shelter. David and his beer buddies were enjoying themselves at an office party when he decides to drive Emily home. It’s her final day at the job so this is their last chance to talk about the weather. Unfortunately, Corey had one too many beer bottles and decided to tag along just to embarass the other two and prevent them from saying anything important. He forces them to pull over at an abandoned gas station, but then forgets that his card doesn’t work. David and Emily follow him inside, but then they see a mysterious fellow show up outside of the shelter. The heroes are instantly petrified and can only watch as the guy murders anyone who tries to get to the ATM. If they leave, they may face the same threat. Rather than exploit the 3 vs 1 advantage on a guy who’s standing in the cold and getting frost bite, the heroes decide that it’s in their best interest to freeze inside of the ATM shelter which is actually just as cold as the outside world. Did I mention that they didn’t bother to bring their phones?

You can argue that the last line destroyed the film’s credibility. I don’t think it had any to begin with, but there’s no way you wouldn’t bring your phone when heading to an ATM. People take their phones with them everywhere and this is no different. It was a rather lazy excuse to have the heroes be unable to call for help. To make things worse, David’s car has a broken lock so anyone can just open it and do what they want. The villain’s a master at hacking cars and getting them to work even without the keys so he’s really all set on his end. The heroes can just grin and endure this experience until they freeze over.

None of the characters are likable here, which is really bad for a film like this. David just lets Corey take advantage of him the whole time. He’s not very smart and makes all of the wrong decisions each and every time. Just hanging out with such a toxic crowd the whole time starts him off on the wrong foot. Emily’s not an interesting character either and it sure was convenient that she happened to already like David since otherwise his random flirting on the last day of her job would have just been awkward. I doubt anyone wants to hear a confession from someone you’ve worked with for years and never said anything to you in all that time. David comes across as desperate.

Finally, there’s Corey. He’s the miller time character of the group. He doesn’t really have respect for anyone but himself. He trolls a Domino’s pizza delivery guy for no reason other than to just make a scene and he refers to his fellow colleagues with a certain insult as opposed to using their actual names. He’s as bad as it gets for the drunk “friend” category and continues to put the characters in a bad spot throughout the film. He’s certainly someone that you cannot count on and someone that you wouldn’t even want on your side. He talks a good game, but his confidence vanishes pretty quickly.

Then there’s the Villain. Thing is, he doesn’t get any lines and we never really get to see him to save the budget a little more money. He just stays in the hoodie the whole time except for the opening and closing scenes of the film. He has no character and is just portrayed as a generic serial killer. There’s nothing engaging about him at all. This guy does still manage to bring the film down though. For starters, the film’s ending cemented the fact that this movie was terrible. Ready to hear the ending?

Basically, the serial killer wins. He frames David for murdering everyone else despite this being logically impossible and then heads off to murder some other people. It’s just a very mean spirited ending and one that almost comes across as an inspirational message to villains watching this movie. It tries to show that he succeeded because of his careful planning and that he’ll just continue going on like this. The villain winning in an ending can work if it’s handled with extreme care, but this film didn’t have any of that delicacy. It’s not like a Xenomorph showing up at the end and destroying the last hero or Godzilla blowing up the planet. A serial killer just getting in the way at the end is simply a lot darker and the kind of ending that you don’t want to see. At the very least, it’s an ending that guarantees I’ll be giving the film a terrible score.

The film was already at a very low point anyway. It would have gotten a 1 tops, but the ending is what ultimately pushed it over the edge. The writing is as terrible as it gets with language being used so much that you have to wonder how small their vocabulary is. Whether intentional or not, it doesn’t change the fact that all of the characters were bad. Plot points happen artificially to continue the plot. For example, the main villain did let one guy go into the ATM machine so the heroes could murder him and further incriminate themselves. The guy happened to be wearing the same coat and didn’t get to say anything before they took him down. That’s really hard to swallow.

Naturally, the film also squeezes in the trope of having the cop show up, but get taken down immediately. Naturally, none of the characters told him to watch out for the murderer approaching him and the cop took his time looking from side to side. Stuff like this keeps on happening. The camera also conveniently goes dead right at the end to make David look as guilty as possible. It’s not even so much that the villain planned things out well, but that luck was on his side. The heroes were not quite so fortunate, but then again..they weren’t exactly heroes either.

The film’s also pretty violent as you would expect since the villain just beats everyone to death. Nobody puts up a fight either and they keep on getting hit long after they’re dead for extra impact. Over the top violence adds another check to the list of weak points that this film had and another reason for you to avoid it all together. At least the dog lived as I was a little worried that it would come back and get taken out. I’ll give the film some credit for that, but not enough credit to actually win it back a star.

Overall, ATM is a poorly conceived film and the execution was as bad as could be. The ending is terrible and not only does it send the wrong message but it drags on as well. I don’t think anyone wanted to re watch a large part of the film via flashbacks, but the ending did it anyway. There’s no one to root for here and the film’s never any fun. It’s just a dark, violent story where the villain gets all of the first and last laughs. It’s hard to see how anyone thought this would be a good idea. With superb writing I suppose this maybe could have been a decent idea, but it would need drastic changes. It’s just hard to play this out with any sense of realism. The villain gave the heroes dozens of opportunities to escape as he did some drilling in the back and kept on giving them a lot of room. He’s fortunate that none of them were very athletic or brave. I highly recommend watching something a little more classy like Mission Impossible. Those films will remind you of what true quality is.

Overall 0/10

Dracula’s Daughter Review

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Now it’s time for the sequel to Dracula. I’ve never been much of a vampire fan to be honest, but you probably know that by now. Vampires just don’t make for good antagonists and the whole blood sucking thing doesn’t even work well conceptually. Luckily, this film mostly doesn’t bother with that. I mean, people do get drained, but basically off screen as this is more about will power and such. It’s not a bad sequel, but one that could and should have gone a different route.

Van Helsing successfully destroyed Dracula, but before he could escape the scene of the crime he was apprehended by a pair of cops. They arrested him and now Van Helsing is probably going to be found guilty with a punishment of murder unless he can prove that vampires exist. He’s not faring too well on this. Meanwhile, Marya has been cursed by Dracula and must continue to destroy people. She seeks the help of Doctor Jeffrey to help her, but he doesn’t believe in Vampires and is too busy with just about everything else to pay her any heed. Well, Marya doesn’t accept answers like that and quickly gets to work by kidnapping Jeffrey’s friend. Jeffrey better be quick on his feet or it’ll be game over.

The alternate route that I mentioned involves the beginning. We see Helsing dig his own grave deeper and deeper as the court date gets closer and I would have liked a nice little court scene. The trial of Helsing could have even been made the main plot if the writers handled it well. It was still amazing just how annoying and oblivious Helsing was. I probably would have been rooting against him in the court case because of how he was antagonizing everyone. It felt like he was just doing it on purpose after a while and I had to question his intelligence. Maybe Helsing finally just got too old and simply couldn’t take the pressure anymore. If so, it was rather tragic, but luckily the other characters ended up saving him in the end.

One unfortunate part of the film is that the moral at the end is rather negative. Marya does her best to fight her vampire genes as well as Dracula’s telepathy, but in the end she loses. Seriously…she just can’t overcome it despite Jeffrey’s half hearted advice. I was hoping she would be able to just use will power and overcome the curse. I didn’t actually think it would happen since this is a Dracula film though, but it was a little sad that all of her efforts were ultimately futile. I can’t say that Marya is a likable character anyway though. She should have fired her servant a long time ago since he kept egging her on and trying to keep her evil. She should have suspected something long before the end of the film and really sowed the seeds of her own demise.

Jeffrey is the main character and he’s certainly not that good. He’s always running all over the place so he has no time to properly talk with anyone. Not to mention that he is certainly an “Eye for an eye” kind of character who will accept your resignation but then force you back into the job if he needs you. His advice didn’t work anyway and there’s just not much to this guy. He doesn’t even know how to put on a tie despite having to use them for parties and other events for years. He has never really progressed, which is alarming. At least his secretary Janet is fun enough. She trolls Jeffrey by calling him and pretending to be from the Zoo and just generally lies to everyone. Why tell the truth can you can mess with someone? That seems to be her motto and it works pretty well until she runs into the vampires. At that point, she was probably doomed regardless of what tactic she used.

It would have been fun for this film to have added in Dracula in some capacity. I mean, that could have backfired just as easily, but it may have helped the plot a little. After all, most of the film didn’t really have a plot as Marva fought a futile battle against herself and defeated all of the Jims (Red Shirts) in the mean time. The characters who died off weren’t very smart either as one followed a sketchy fellow over to his mansion in the middle of the night. If someone asks you to come home with them for a “modeling job” I’d hope that you would say no. It doesn’t get more suspect and suspicious than that if you ask me. It’s not as if the film is boring for the most part, but I wanted more activity. The main plot with Jeffrey was actually more interesting than the Vampire one because at least the constant trolling back and forth was entertaining. The film should have stuck with that plot or Helsing’s instead of Marva’s.

Overall, Dracula’s Daughter is a decent film. It can move a little slowly at times and the characters aren’t particularly interesting as it is. The film can move a little slowly though and it’s not exactly a thrill a minute. While there is no animal violence to bring it down like The Invisible Man sequel, it is not quite as good as the former. Invisible Man is a lot more fun and the plot is more fast paced. So, if you like a slow burning horror film without too many scary moments then this is a good film for you. It’s more about being atmospheric and slightly unnerving which may or may not work. If you want a film that gets to the point a little quicker, then check out I Frankenstein. It gets right to the point with no delay.

Overall 5/10

The Invisible Man Returns Review

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It’s time to look at another classic film from the old days. The Invisible Man was a decently fun film the first time around, but could it strike once more? An unfortunate hamster scene holds this one back along with the unlikable main character. It’s not a bad film and the writing is pretty solid as expected, but it just can’t live up to the legacy that the first film left. It was a sequel that was simply doomed from the start.

Radcliffe is being sentenced to death for the alleged murder of his brother. He claims not to have done it and Doctor Frank believes him. Frank decides to use the Invisible Man serum to save Radcliffe, but it has some serious side effects. It causes a person to become crazy so Frank won’t really be able to count on Radcliffe after this. Is Radcliffe truly innocent or has Frank just created a super villain?

One thing that you’ll likely find irksome is how everyone has an overreaction at seeing Radcliffe. I don’t think that seeing an invisible person should make you panic or faint. Especially if you know about it beforehand so it’s not as if this should come as a shock. Helen’s the main heroine here and she is easily the most guilty of this. She really gives Radcliffe a hard time with all of the extra drama. She was definitely not a likable character and helped spur on Radcliffe’s descent into madness.

Of course, we can only truly blame the madness on Radcliffe. He fell down the rabbit hole almost instantly as he spent 90% of his screen time laughing like a maniac. He definitely didn’t take to the serum very well, but luckily the craziness also made him very easy to deceive and subdue. Radcliffe actually gets a happy ending this time though so the invisible adventures were worth it. Honestly, I’d love the power of invisibility. I’d make a fortune in magic shows and could pull a lot of pranks on people.

Frank was the scientist, but he wasn’t very good. He decided to experiment on animals which is always a huge no no. Destroying a rat to save a person is not a good idea. Trading a life for a life is as corrupt as it gets and I just had to shake my head at that. I suppose he means well, but his character was dead to me. Detective Sampson tries his best to follow the law even if he is after the wrong man. It’s hard to blame him though since Radcliffe keeps disappearing and acting suspicious. At the very least, the cops should be glad to have a determined officer on the force.

One part of the film that was pretty fun was when the heroes decided to hide out in the middle of nowhere. This old man gave them shelter, but his dog knew what was up so one of the cops came along. What followed was a shouting match for whole minutes as both characters kept bumping into each other as the guy tried to stop the cop. The yells would always get progressively louder as they neared the top of the stairs. It was definitely fun even if it may not have been very plot important in the long run.

As expected, the writing is very on point which helps make the film flow. It never really drags on and the film isn’t all that long anyway. The effects for the Invisible Man are fun as he always has to shed at least 50 layers to escape. The costume certainly stands out and if I were him I’d probably just stay invisible for the long haul. It’d be a little tough in the Winter of course, but you could always hide in a house for naps and nobody would even notice. Being invisible is definitely a very dangerous power which the first film showed quite a bit. This one was more of a mystery/drama so there weren’t too many fights, but Radcliffe did make sure to get in on the action to find out the truth.

There’s not a whole lot to say about the film since the cast is rather limited and the plot is direct. You just see Radcliffe slowly descending into madness as the supporting characters wonder what they need to do. It would have been fun to have seen the mystery angle pushed to the forefront a little more instead of the constant laughing plot, but I suppose it got a good amount of screen time in the end. It just would have helped with the danger part of the film since most of it doesn’t feel like there’s any stakes.

Overall, The Invisible Man Returns is a peaceful film. It’s a nice little adventure with a good ending. A film like this would typically get a 6 or a 7, but we have to factor in the unfortunate Hamster scene. That moment was definitely sad and ensures that I can’t give the film a positive score. If you can get past that, then you should check the film out. If not, then I’d recommend just checking the first film out instead. Honestly, that may be your best move regardless right? The Invisible Man is definitely still a cooler part of Universal than Dracula, Werewolf, or the Mummy so I’m looking forward to the sequel. The Invisible Woman could be a nice film as well if they handle it right. Lets just stick away from the animal experiments.

Overall 5/10

The Huntsman: Winter’s War Review

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It’s time to look at the sequel that leaves you feeling a little puzzled. Why did the Huntsman get his own film? I don’t fully understand! Anyway, this film does have some really good action scenes and the plot is also more interesting than the first film. That being said, a really forced romance between the two leads holds this film back quite a lot. I dare say that it would have been pretty good without that, but the romance goes on for so long and takes away from so many scenes that I have to lower the score. Regardless, it is certainly better than the last film that I just reviewed.

The film starts off with a flashback to show us Eric’s origin before he was the legendary Huntsman. He grew up under the rule of Queen Freya and was forced to participate in her wars. It was the only life that he knew though so he worked hard and made it to the top of the ranks. Unfortunately, he broke Freya’s most important rule by falling for another warrior named Sara. As Freya realized that any romance was doomed to an untimely end, she decided to destroy them. To their credit, Eric and Sara put up a pretty good fight. They were heavily outnumbered, but took down a majority of the troops. Unfortunately, Sara was eliminated from behind and Eric was forced to beat a hasty retreat.

It made for a pretty epic opening to the film. The fight scenes were well handled and we got a glimpse of Freya’s true power. This whole scene would be very important later on when you keep Ravenna’s illusion magic in mind. The film then jumps quite a few years into the future as the story now takes place after the Snow White film. The Queen has fallen ill thanks to the magic mirror that she stole from the villain and it was sent away. The problem is that the foot soldiers were all killed off and Queen Freya managed to get her hands on it. I have to say that this was pretty sloppy of the heroes. What did they really expect was going to happen when they left to transport the most dangerous weapon in the kingdom? Eric is tasked with going to find it, but a pair of Dwarves tag around to bring the writing down a few pegs. Also, Sara shows up so Eric has to ask himself some tough questions. Did she really die or did he just use that as an excuse to escape with his life?

As mentioned before, the film squanders its positives by including a lot of negatives. The Dwarves are a good example of that. We get 4 of them to appear as main characters and they spend the entire film making fun of each other only to suddenly turn it into a romance at the very end. It’s poorly handled during the entire film and it’s just annoying after a while. I wouldn’t mind the insults so much if it wasn’t obvious that they were going to get together. As it stands, it’s just a little hard to watch. The film didn’t do a good job with the romance in general though. Eric and Sara’s plot is about as bad.

It follows the same formula so the writer must be a fan of it. Sara spends a lot of time insulting Eric for falling for a simple illusion and leaving her to die. She constantly says stuff like “We can’t be together” or “I’m through” only for the two characters to make up 10 minutes later to the point where we can get whole minutes of them making it up to each other. It was terrible and Eric’s overconfidence actually pays off in this case as he suspected they’d be back together.

As for the positives, the film’s action scenes kept getting better and better. Aside from the opening fight, we also got a battle with Ravenna and Freya. It was nice to see Ice vs vague Dark abilities and any fight with one of the Queens wrecking the heroes was cool as well. Ravenna really didn’t think any of this through though as she could have made it to the top if she didn’t insist on attacking Freya’s people. The film does make the villains a little overpowered though and the heroes really shouldn’t stand a chance. By merging with the mirror, Ravenna gained super strength, speed, and even high speed regeneration. Add to this the fact that she can manipulate the shadows to attack everyone around her and you have a fairly unbeatable enemy.

The effects for these action scenes were also very solid. The film definitely seemed to have a reasonably high budget and it’s easy to make fight scenes with large groups boring like in Warcraft, but this film pulled it off. It was actually a lot more interesting than the Snow White film and the core plot here is fairly solid. I would have liked to have seen Snow White show up herself to defend the kingdom, but I suppose she’s busy recovering from the evil mirror she had in her room. Again…that wasn’t a smart play.

Queen Ravenna is a great villain and probably the best character in the film. Her presence captures the room in every scene that she is in. Ravenna has the disposition of a final boss and when she showed up it was rather unexpected so that was great to see. Freya is essentially a more sinister version of Elsa. Her situation and backstory are fairly similar. Freya certainly didn’t take things as well though and became a total villain, but perhaps Elsa would have as well if her sister was evil. Freya did stand up for her wards in the end though and while her goals were a lot more extreme, at least she was trying to protect her people in her own way. She was a good villain as well.

I already talked about how bad the Dwarves were so lets ignore them. Eric isn’t a bad main character I suppose. Overconfidence is a good trait and he’s capable in a fight. He may be a little too dramatic at times, but he’s a solid lead. His one character flaw is the same with Sara’s, the romance angle. It was just unnecessary. Sara is very similar to Eric as she’s also overconfident and talks a good game. Unfortunately, she can’t back it up quite as well as she loses several times in the film. The one time she looked good was a moment where I have to question the power levels. Still, it happened so that was a good moment for her.

Okay, here’s the moment that I’m talking about. Some guys break into a bar to attack Eric. Eric talks pretty big the whole time as he’s forced into the fight and then he loses instantly. Luckily, Sara shows up and takes them all down. Okay…Sara must be way stronger than Eric then right? No, she never looks all that impressive again so you have to wonder what happened. The actual scene was pretty great though and the most epic part of the movie. The power levels may have been a little wacky, but I’ll take the hype.

Overall, The Winter War is a reasonably solid sequel that is held back by the romance and some annoying characters, but what else is new? Hollywood likes to throw in romance and some crude characters to get the ball rolling, but it tends to have to opposite effect. It’s a shame since the fight scenes actually are really good and the effects are top notch. If you check this film out, it’ll definitely be for the action. That being said, I simply can’t recommend it because of the film’s failings. If you want a better action film, check out the latest Tron film. That one has a lot of action and is heavily underrated.

Overall 5/10

Turtles Forever Review

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I finally got to see this film again. The last time I saw Turtles Forever was way back in 2012 so it’s been quite a while. That was also before I had actually seen the show so this time I got to watch it with the proper context. It’s definitely a fun adventure and a good way to close out this chapter of the franchise. It could have stood to include a little more action if you ask me, but that’s really the 2003 version’s thing so since this is a crossover, I guess they wanted to limit that a bit.

The film starts off with the 80’s turtles infiltrating the 2003 world and getting kidnapped by the Purple Dragons. After the real turtles save them from imminent destruction, they learn that the old Shredder has built a machine that can travel through dimensions. This Shredder decides to revive the main Shredder who promptly betrays the old version. He decides to eradicate all of the dimensions to destroy all of the Turtles around the multiverse. The Turtles will have to band together if they want to stop him.

The 2003 characters definitely take the spotlight for most of the film, which makes sense since it’s their home turf. Not to mention that they are typically known as the strongest incarnation of the characters anyway. They handle the 80’s characters rather easily and do a good job of making short work out of the minions. Casey and April also get a quick cameo, but since Casey is basically retired from fighting now, the two of them can only watch and hope for the best. Hun and Shredder both have big roles. Hun’s glory days are long past, but he still has his main theme working and does manage to get in the way of the heroes quite a lot. For the Shredder, it’s a mixed bag with him. This was easily not his best portrayal as the film decided to add in extra humor for the 80s characters and the Shredder is defeated several times. Being knocked out by the sleeping gas was a little unfortunate and then we also panicked when the Turtles charged at him near the end. It further proves the fact that he’s an amazing villain when he has the armor on, but he loses a lot of cool points when he’s in his alien form. He was still the most appropriate choice for the main villain of the film, but I would have liked him to have done more.

One slight issue with the film is that there really aren’t any battles. There are some general action scenes as the heroes take on scores on minions who can’t fight back, but no real fights. The Shredder doesn’t get to fight. Hun doesn’t really get to fight. As a result, there is nobody for the Turtles to go up against. I think that a good sword fight with Leonardo would have been cool. Granted, it was already established that the 80s Turtles can’t really fight, but we could have had them fight the original ones.

The 80’s characters were fun to have for the most part. I like the main Turtles. They brought back the pizza gimmick and are so out of touch with reality that they just do whatever they feel like doing. They ignore the danger and it doesn’t even register for them since they don’t have experience with it. Their weapons are a lot smaller than the 2003 version and they all have Michelangelo’s personality. It’s certainly a contrast to the main group. Unfortunately, their villains are less interesting. The Shredder is about as comic relief as a villain can get and is mocked quite a lot by the main Shredder. Krang has an intriguing burping gimmick that gets old real fast.

Finally, the original Turtles are pretty great. They do come off as rather unreasonable and why would they pick a fight with the others instantly, but not try to stop the Shredder when he’s apparently been messing up their city all day? Ah well, it gave us an excuse for a quick fight scene. I also liked how they shoved Raphael away when he tried making fun of the 80s versions. Raphael was pretty out of line there. It’s always nice to see that the original version of a character is hardcore, that’s how it should be and the black and white Turtles got the job done.

Turtles Forever gives some closure to various 2003 characters. Karai finally makes the tough call and distances herself from the Shredder, Hun finally became a Turtle, and Splinter has finally realized that there were other Turtles in the multiverse. I do think that the characters were very slow to pick up on what was actually happening here, but not everyone is cut out for time travel right? It was so unnerving that the Turtles didn’t even take prisoners in this show. They blew up one of the humans who got infected by the ooze and was changed into a monster. I was not expecting that and you have to feel bad for the humans, the Turtles shot and ran over all of them. Even 80s April O Neal didn’t have a happy ending as the villains got to her in the end after the Turtles left. The film was certainly a little more intense than you’d expect in some cases while not as intense in other ways.

The film is decently long so there is time for a lot to happen throughout. We get a lot of reunions and the heroes try to make a bunch of plans. It’s where there are some missed opportunities though. The film is long enough where it could have included a lot of other fights or more plot, but it kind of got stuck for a little while as the plot stalled. I have to admit, the movie could have been ever so slightly better with time management. Still, it accomplished what it set out to do by having the Turtles meet, interact, and then team up to fight the big villain. It’s a formula that works.

The animation is solid as always. The 2003 style just works really well with everyone. Seeing the 80’s Turtles in this futuristic environment was certainly fun. It was also cool to see the Turtles warp to different areas and then the animation would adjust as needed. That’s always one of the best parts of a crossover, letting the heroes see the other worlds. Of course, the best part is seeing the characters fight each other and we did have a brief skirmish with the original Turtles. As always, the music for Turtles Forever is good. We get to hear all of the classic tunes from the 2003 shows like Hun’s theme and Shredder’s classic sound effect. The action themes also work well and it should feel nostalgic since it’s like watching the show again.

Overall, Turtles Forever is a fun action movie and a good crossover event. Naturally, your enjoyment of the film will range based on how big of a TMNT fan you are. I imagine that people who watched both shows will enjoy it even more than those who watched one. It has good animation and a nice soundtrack to go along with the plot. I would have liked there to have been some more action and maybe a little more danger as well, but Turtles Forever is pretty good at keeping the TMNT tone that you would expect. I’m not sure if I can give it the nod over the CGI TMNT film as the best one in the franchise, but it’s very close. I haven’t seen the other one in a long time so it’s hard to say for sure. Regardless, I look forward to the next big (Non Michael Bay) TMNT film and hopefully we get a big theatrical crossover event someday. Hey…you never know right?

Overall 7/10

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron Review

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I remember hearing about how Spirit was the “King of his herd” a while back on the blog and this film had been hyped up for quite a while. I can see why people enjoyed this film so much. It’s a pleasant enough movie and while the silence caught me off guard for a second, I quickly adjusted to what was happening. The film handled the plots pretty well and it’s a title that I can recommend to all viewers.

Spirit grew up in a nice crew of horses and grew up to be a strong stallion. He became the leader of the pack and protected it from wild cats and all other threats. Unfortunately, that’s when the settlers came and Spirit distracted them long enough for his family to get away. The army tried their best to break Spirit, but he wasn’t having any of that. He would have his freedom and then one day he would find his family. He meets another horse along the way along with an Indian and together they try to stop the oppressors.

The cast here is pretty small since the film mostly focuses on the main horse. Spirit is as good a lead as you are likely to find anywhere. He absolutely refuses to be tamed by the villains and never stops trying to get home. He helps out as many people as he can along the way and comes across as very noble. He is quite mischievous as well and likes to mess with Little Creek, but always gets serious when the need arises. He is able to communicate his actions rather well considering that he never speaks and is also quite resilient. Spirit doesn’t lose his nerve even after being kept without food and water for 3 days. He defeats the Colonel in the end and shows why he really is the King of his herd.

Little Creek helped Spirit escape from the army and that’s how the two became friends. He seems like a nice enough guy. Little Creek doesn’t mind Spirit’s antics all that much and just goes with the flow. His tribe gives the horses a lot of freedom so it’s a great improvement from the army conditions. Rain is a horse that Spirit meets during his time with the tribe and they get along pretty well. At first, she doesn’t want to leave with Spirit, but after he helps save the tribe, she decides that it is time to go. She’s a pretty tough horse herself and has personality, making her a solid fighter to have in the pack. Finally, there’s the Colonel. He has a lot of self confidence and believes that he can tame any horse. Well, he soon realizes that this is not really the case. He’s described as a snake although he’s not nearly as bad as you would expect from that. He’s certainly more drastic than the other soldiers though since most of them were being as nice as they could be under the circumstances. In a way, you could say that Spirit tamed the Colonel in the end. I’m sure that the guy will be a lot more careful when he meets another horse.

The animation was pretty good and holds up well to this day. The character designs for the Horses look really good. They come across as strong and athletic which is certainly very important in a design. The environments and backdrops all look good as well and the flame effects were handled well. There are a lot of songs in this movie as well. They may not be the most catchy themes out there, but they get the job done. It adds some more emotional value to the film, which is always appreciated.

I also have to give the film some props for avoiding any major animal violence. Lets face it, you sort of expect some dicey moments to occur in any film about animals. When Rain was injured, it was a little concerning although I figured she would be okay. Luckily, none of the Horses got shot and Spirit did a good job of stopping all of the Army attacks. A lesser film would have had the hot iron actually hit Spirit and I’m glad that didn’t happen. I can’t give the whole army montage enough credit, it was really handled to perfection with how Spirit persevered. Since the whole film’s point is about how Spirit is a stallion who cannot be tamed, it was necessary to get the point across. Agent Carter could learn a thing or two from this.

It’s also impressive that the film was so good without almost any dialogue at all. I was fully expecting the Horses to talk the whole time, but they never did so it gradually sunk in that they weren’t going to. It was a rather bold move and one that could have easily backfired, but the film was able to handle it really well. It also had a very good ending, the kind of uplifting climax that I would like to see more often. You don’t need an ending that is kind of sad or mellow to try and win some Oscars. A very happy, satisfying ending will work every time and that’s what happens here. The film had its tension and dangerous situations, but managed to wrap them all up in time for the ending. It’s the gold standard for animal films and if they were all like this, I’d actually be glad to have more. It’s just that for ever Spirit, there are 100 Lassie or Watership Down kind of titles.

It was interesting to see the U.S. appear as the villains this time around. They ran around destroying Indian villages and enslaving Horses and the film never portrayed them as anything but antagonists. I prefer to see America taking the limelight as the heroes of history, but I suppose it’s good to see things from the other side once in a while. After all, not even America can be the good guys every single time right? I was definitely rooting for them to lose this time since they didn’t give the Horses the freedom that they deserved. It’s hard to say what the best part of the film was here. I liked the beginning with Spirit protecting the herd and just wandering around, but I also liked seeing him humiliate the army. No parts of the film are actually bad though and they just range from good to very good. It’s a pretty good sign in a film.

Overall, Spirit was a very solid film and maybe even a little better than I was expecting it to be. It’s a fundamentally sound film from top to bottom. The writing was good, the characters were likable, the pacing was solid, and it had a good ending. It is really filled with only positives around the board and I certainly enjoyed it a lot. It may not be a film for everyone, but if you like Horses or enjoy a good adventure, then you should check it out. It has some action and wit to coincide with the good plot and that’s a winning formula. I was even tempted to give this an 8, but while it doesn’t make any mistakes, it’s just hard to get quite that high without some extra kick of some sort. It’s a very fun film of course, but an 8 is usually something that I could instantly re watch. Usually that is due to cool fight scenes or something or that nature and I’d want to wait a little while before re watching this film. If I allowed half numbers like a 7.5, then this would probably have earned that extra spot. Regardless, this is definitely a solid film to check out. With Netflix getting a sequel series soon, it’ll be interesting to see if it can compete with this movie. It’ll be tough to do, but there’s always a chance.

Overall 7/10

Fright Night Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would likely be more negative.
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Oh no, it’s my worst fears realized. Lets look at the checklist. Gratuitous violence? ✔ Horrendous writing ✔ Lots of fanservice? ✔ Animal Violence X Vampires ✔ Terrible characters ✔ Well, it may not have been a perfect score on how bad a film could be, but it’s quite bad. It’s been a while since I saw a film quite like this one, but I can assure you that this holds its own against most of the other big horror films. I still think it’s really difficult to make a vampire film good and this helps my argument. There’s just not much in the way of positives here at all.

The film starts off with good ole Charley being one of the “cool” kids. He used to be a guy who was really into fantasy, play fighting, and other things that were deemed “uncool.” As a result, Charley dumped his best friend and started hanging out with the bullies so he could look cool for a girl. It worked quite easily and now they’re together. Charley is so cool that he doesn’t care about anyone else anymore. The bullies pick on his ex-friend, but that’s not Charley’s concern. Students start going missing and it seems as if a mass murderer is on the loose, but again…that’s not Charley’s problem. It gets to be an issue for him though once his ex friend is murdered and he finds out that the perpetrator lives next door. Okay…now it’s time to care. Can Charley take this guy down to save himself and his family or is it already too late?

It’s like the old saying, “First they came for the Johns, but I stayed quiet. Then they came for the Smiths, but I stayed quiet. Finally, they came for me and there was nobody left to help” It’s like that as Charley really couldn’t care less about the rest of the neighborhood until it was just him. He’s the main character and it’s a mainstream film so it’s not as if he has much to worry about, but it didn’t make him a likable character in the slightest. The film actually goes out of its way to make him a terrible character as he refuses to explain anything. Even once he learns that the guy next door is a vampire, he refuses to tell his Mom or Amy about it because he doesn’t want to look bad. This doesn’t work so well as it comes close to wrecking all of his relationships. Luckily, they’re better characters who don’t panic at everything and actually try to talk things out. Charley just gives them a hard time about absolutely everything. He never develops into a good character as you can’t forget that he is essentially a poser who betrays his ideals just to look cool.

Jerry makes for an imposing villain I suppose, but certainly not a good one. He spends a lot of time trying to make conversation with Charley. I guess he wants to get in the main character’s head to psych him out, but he drags on and on. He was so obvious as the villain that I was expecting a misdirect from the film, but it never happened. He certainly didn’t improve my view on vampires. Edward is supposed to be the sympathetic friend that you can root for. He was ditched by Charley and as a result his social life has completely fallen to pieces. Now there is no one to help him when he gets bullied and he also has to pass by the bully’s home every single night. It’s not very fun for him and then Charley refuses to acknowledge him and this finally leads to Edward being taken out by Jerry. So, he should have been sympathetic, but what doesn’t help his case is that he resorts to blackmail. Yes, he decides to blackmail Charley with old videos of them fighting together and the old hobbies that Charley had. It may have worked, but it’s certainly not a nice move. He also started unloading some pretty personal insults at Amy which just made him even more unlikable. I forgot another part of Edward that doesn’t help his case…he’s on drugs. He casually admits this to Charley during another one of those really terrible written conversations. Even the way he lets Charley know about the vampire next door is handled pretty unrealistically.

Amy was all right as I mentioned earlier. She helped out a little during the skirmish with the vampires and at least she didn’t get paralyzed with fear the way that many characters do. Amy played her part well. Peter is the professional vampire slayer who turns out to be a fraud at first, but then we learn that he has actually encountered Jerry in the past. He’s pretty unlikable and is supposed to be that way. He helps out quite a bit in the end, but mostly he is reluctant. By the time he jumps into action, it’s a little too late to care.

So, there are a lot of negatives here as mentioned in the intro. The writing is horrendous. Luckily, the edited version cut out all of the language with the nice air filters, but with how often they occurred you can see how bad the script was. Every character was constantly yelling strings of words that make you shake your head. Even when we get past the language, the rest of the writing isn’t much better. The boring conversations with Jerry come to mind and the forced tension between Charley and all of the other characters. His excuse in the computer room for why he ditched class is another awful moment as it shows he will go to great lengths to avoid telling people about vampires even if it hurts his reputation even more.

Next, there’s the gratuitous violence. This one’s pretty obvious. The vampires bite people just about all the way through the neck and it’s pretty violent. Every character has a habit of blowing up some blood even after they’re already dead or in vampire form. The blood sucking is as irritating as usual and I don’t think I’ll ever care for that aspect. I’m still pretty surprised that there was no animal violence so that’s a good thing. The “romance” here is of the usual Hollywood variety. It’s basically just the characters deciding to skip the formalities and just jump into the making love part. It’s mostly all they talk about at the beginning and the end of the film. At least they got over all of the gruesome murders really quickly eh? The film goes for a lot of excuses to have characters in pretty risque outfits as the heroes head to a night club (Where naturally nobody notices someone getting murdered right in front of them) and Peter has a secretary with benefits rooming with him. It’s definitely not a film that tries to take the high road.

I can’t really think of any plot holes surprisingly, but if there is any then it may be with Jerry being weak against sunlight. I could have sworn that when he was planting the garden the first time he showed up that it was still daylight out. Maybe it was dark enough where the sun wasn’t potent or something. Just something that I noticed, but at least it can be explained away so that helps it a lot.

If there is one good thing about the film, it’s that the soundtrack is actually pretty decent at times. The rock music that played when Charley went to get his gear was pretty good. His montage may not have been as epic as the music would have you believe, but it was a slight silver lining at the very least. The special effects weren’t half bad either. The classic Vampire blowing up to sunlight and weapons was handled decently well. The super agility was handled pretty badly though as the Vampires moved in impossible angles with very obvious Photoshop kind of effects. It definitely didn’t seem like something you’d expect from 2011, but maybe I was holding it to too high of a standard.

Overall, Fright Night is your average horror film. It’s not very fun to watch and the characters are all poorly written. Everyone is so bad that you have to wonder at some points whether horror writers can read their scripts with a straight face. Lets put this into perspective. The kid who got bullied and ostracized by the school along with being betrayed by his friend was murdered by the main character. The bully who went around objectifying people and making the friend miserable got to live in the end. That’s just the kind of film that this is and I’d recommend sticking away from it. It’s a pretty mean spirited film and Jerry ends up being a pretty bad villain by the end. He’s even willing to use fake romance to get a reaction out of Charley, but that’s not very effective since Charley was more interested in finally getting to use his hastily prepared plan at that point. I should mention that the plan should never have worked and involved quite a lot of plot hax. Lets just say that Jerry conveniently decided to stand still and have absolutely no reaction times in order for it to work. The film stacked the deck against itself too well (As expected) by giving Jerry a great amount of regenerative abilities and speed. The writers couldn’t think their way out of that one. If you want a good horror film, check out Poltergeist 3. It’s actually a lot better than you would expect.

Overall 1/10

Warcraft Review

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I always like to see a video game adapted into a film…but not like this! It seems like bad luck that films keep trying to adapt games that either shouldn’t be adapted or ones that should be adapted…in 20 years. I get that World of Warcraft is a very popular video game, but I’ve never cared much for it and I don’t think it ever had a whole lot of movie potential. People will inevitably compare it to Lord of the Rings and it’ll fall short since everyone already has the nostalgia goggles on. Then we’ve got Assassin’s Creed….this isn’t the kind of representation of video games that I wanted. Where’s Mega Man, Mario, Metroid, Legend of Zelda, Gravity Rush, or the really cool looking video games like that? The films keep on choosing the most realistic ones possible as I guess they feel this is the safe route, but it’s backfiring horribly. Wait…they already tried making a Super Mario Bros film? Nah….you must be mistaken, I’m sure I’d remember Princess Peach making her way to the big screen or that iconic Bowser design if the film had happened. Must have just been a mistake.

Anyway, Warcraft deals with two worlds coming together to avoid calamity. On one side, we have the world of the Trolls. Their world has grown desolate and soon it will be completely unlivable. To combat this, they have decided to invade the human world and eradicate all of the mortals. On the human side, they see that the Trolls are attacking and decide to slay them all. There can be no peace here, only war and destruction. Which side will emerge victorious here?

This film has a lot of problems, but action isn’t one of them. There’s a lot of action throughout as you’ll see people punching and tackling each other. A lot of guys are stabbed and it definitely feels like a war. I don’t care much for war fight scenes and prefer the classic 1 on 1’s. This doesn’t help to change my opinion of that, but considering that War is in the title, I knew what to expect from the get go. The CGI and overall special effects for the film aren’t bad. In the rare scenes where we actually get to see energy attacks and video game techniques, they hold up quite well. We get mythical monsters and fantasy backdrops that also fit in seamlessly.

The rest of the film is where Warcraft stumbles a bit. Lets talk about the characters. Gul’dan is the main villain of the film. He’s the corrupt leader of the Orcs (Trolls) and ensures that there is no peace. After all, you can’t make peace with a nation that’s trying to destroy you right? He rules with fear and is the only Orc to actually have special powers. He can drain your life force by making contact with an opponent and has a good array of energy blasts as well. This makes up for not being the strongest Orc on the battlefield. It’s really impossible for any character to beat him without plot hax and that’s a bit of an issue. The only way the film gets around this is by having the other Orcs pressure Gul’dan into retreating for honor reasons. He never loses and I guess this sets things up for the sequel. He was a pretty imposing villain and I suppose that I didn’t mind him being the big bad. I wish he would just get on with it though and I don’t see why he should even care about the Orcs liking him or not. His whole gimmick is that he rules by fear so if they start rebelling, can’t he just slay them all?

Lothar is the main hero on the human side. His character arc is pretty tragic as he decides to trust Garona and is then betrayed at the very end. He’s a pretty strong warrior and is headstrong. Lothar acts like a main character should for the most part. He can be a little generic and maybe not all that reasonable at other times, but he can handle himself in a fight and the humans wouldn’t have much of a chance without him. Llane is the more reasonable character, but at the same time he goes for the more conventional ideas. He decides on a full scale war against the Orcs and this doesn’t go well at all. He then makes a rather selfless decision to have Garona murder him so she can get out of there alive, but it’s also basically suicide since he’s asking to be murdered. You always got to fight until the bitter end even if the odds are stacked against you. The ending did not help him.

I actually place more of the blame on Garona though. Accepting this option shows that she put more value on her life than on Llane’s. Essentially, she was willing to continue existing at the expense of someone else. Lothar took this as a betrayal since he didn’t know the context, but it may as well have been one even with it. She was tasked with protecting Llane and she failed. Durotan is the main protagonist of the Orcs, but he is forced to work for Gul’dan the whole time. It’s a pretty tough film for Durotan since he doesn’t get the clan any closer to peace and is ultimately murdered in front of everyone. He put up a good fight, but was clearly outmatched thanks to the magic amplifications that Gul’dan had and it felt like his journey was rather pointless. He made some nice speeches, but since he had no control over the clan, it didn’t help much. He did inadvertently save the humans by getting the Orcs to doubt their leader though.

As this is Warcraft, there were other sub plots as well. One of the human’s strongest magicians was actually a traitor and ended up joining the villains. It was either his overconfidence that led the evil magic to slowly corrupting him or he was just a bad seed the entire time. Regardless, it was a huge blow to the humans since they need all of the magicians that they can get. They have another apprentice guy who wants to help out now, but that’s just a consolation. Honestly though, the humans should be doomed in this war. They now only have 1 guy with powers on their side while the Orcs have a few. That being said, the ending shows that there are many other factions of humans who will be helping now. Where were they the whole time? Who knows, I guess it just wasn’t their fight. Ironically the human mage sub plot was probably the most out of place, but also the most interesting part of the film.

The part of the film that will end up leaving a sour taste in your mouth is really the ending. Seeing Garona just accept the life and be accepted back to her people was a rather mean spirited way to end things. Now nobody gets along and tensions are even higher. It also feels like absolutely nothing was accomplished in this film. You should think of it as a promo to encourage you to play the game, but that doesn’t work so well as a large feature film. Especially if you were never interested to play the game in the first place. As the writing is also lackluster, it never really had a chance of getting you interested in playing the game.

There is also some iffy animal violence moments here. It sadly comes with the territory of war films as people ride horses and even birds into battle. It’s not a huge occurrence here, but enough so where it warrants a mention. It’s not as if things could have gotten much worse for the film though right? It was already rather boring and convoluted without a good ending so adding the animal violence is like the cherry on top.

Overall, Warcraft is a very generic fantasy war film. It’s just the same old Humans vs Orc battles that we’ve seen in LOTR and the Hobbit already. This film doesn’t really add anything to that. There’s not much reason to watch this film and since an ending is super important, having a bad one hurts the film all the more. I doubt this film will be getting a sequel anyway so it’s not as if the cliffhangers will be resolved anytime soon. If you’re a big fan of the games then you’re basically obligated to watch this one. If not, then I’d recommend just sticking away from it.

Overall 3/10