Chiharu Shinonome vs Layer


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Layer may not seem to be much of a fighter upon first glance, but she’s actually a pretty tough customer. She is playable in one of the Megaman X games and her fighting style matches Zero’s. This means that she has quite a few powerful weapons at her disposal and a good deal of speed as well. Chiharu Shinonome doesn’t really have any combat abilities so she’s out of her depth in this round. Layer wins.

Caster vs Bass


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Caster makes his blog debut with this round and it’s safe to assume that this is only the beginning of his long road down the blog rankings. He is one of the worst characters that you’ll meet in a show and he’s definitely no match for Bass. He has a few spells, but Bass will just laugh as he fires off an Earthbreaker to end the round in an instant. Caster doesn’t really have any speed to speak of so dodging is out of the question. Bass wins.

The Big Sleep Review

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It’s time for another classic with Bogart and Bacall! This was still in the pre Godzilla days of cinema and those films were typically pretty intense. There are two genres in particular where classic films really shine. Kaiju adventures and mysteries. This is an example of the latter and it’s definitely a pretty compelling story. There are so many twists here that it can be pretty hard to follow, which also makes it pretty exciting!

Explaining the plot is pretty difficult as it was with the last film. The reason all of the twists and turns continue to lead into the next one so the original plot keeps adapting accordingly. Still, the plot begins with Marlowe heading into a mansion. He’s basically a private detective and he knows the ropes. “The General” hires him to get somebody out of the way…peacefully of course. This man is related to a racket that is blackmailing The General, which may be linked to the guy who ran off with Ms. Mars…or do they call her Brody now?…which may be related to Carmen’s police entanglements that could be why they found a body in the lake, which could have come from the mysterious house on the mountain, which may have something to do with all of the murders that have been occurring. Marlowe was expecting a fairly simple case, but maybe he’s bitten off more than he can chew with this case!

This film really had everything that I could have wanted from a mystery film. There are quite a few suspects and new characters continue to pop up. Marlowe makes for a pretty good detective and the film gets right to the point. It’s around 2 hours and they make sure to squeeze in as much action and suspense as possible. It’s safe to say that I preferred this one to the other film that I saw with the same lead actors. (To Have and Have Not)

Marlowe’s the main character and he is definitely better than your average lead. As I mentioned earlier, he has a lot of experience so he’s basically a pro by this point. He’s always got a witty comeback at the ready and he doesn’t take any sass from anyone. He even manages to block a slap and disarm a guy with ease. Marlowe is essentially invincible for the first half of the film. Unfortunately, he does start to crumble by the second half as he suffers two quick losses faster than the Vikings broke down against the Patriots and Saints this year! It’s a little surprising to see how quickly the tables turn on him, but I suppose that Marlowe is only human. He had to make a mistake sometime and it just happened to occur at a critical time. Through it all, Marlowe is definitely a solid character even if he does fall into the romance trap during the film.

Vivian is the main heroine of the film, although her role is a lot smaller than one would typically expect. She is around a lot to give Marlowe some advice that may or may not be true. She’s always trying to dig up some dirt on what Marlowe knows, but the detective always manages to turn her own words against her. It’s hard to tell whether she’s on his side or with the crooks since she can be rather shady. It’s time to add suspect number one to the list! She does use her romance skills to try and get Marlowe, which tends to work on the leads since it’s one of the only things that they think about. Ah well, retro films do typically have romance so it’s hard to avoid.

Eddie Mars is one of the bigshots and there’s no way that he isn’t guilty of something. The question is…is Eddie Mars The crook or just a crook? It’s hard to tell and he’s also pretty cunning so it’s hard to get any information out of him. He’s got his minions at the ready and he’s fairly powerful in the underground circuits. Messing with him could be pretty dangerous for Marlowe. They have a pretty intense meetup inside of the haunted house where guns are drawn..on multiple occasions!

Never forget that where there’s an Eddie, there is always a Joe! Joe Brody is another big shot and he lacks Eddie’s riches, but he still has enough to get by. He’s quick with a gun and his only mistake is that he likes to open the door without peering through the keyhole or asking “Who is it?” before opening. He gets his own action scene as well so show how tough he can be. We definitely can’t rub him off the list?

Don’t worry, it’s time for another gun wielding suspect in the form of Carmen Sternwood! Most of the problems are centered around her so it’s entirely possible that she is just orchestrating the entire thing. Her first scene is her trying to win Marlowe over and almost succeeding. She’s typically pretty high or emotionally unstable so it’s tough to get a read on her. With a gun..anything is possible here. We certainly can’t rule her out and she wasn’t a good character anyway. She does have her own personal minion though..so she is not as innocent as she seems.

Bernie is Marlowe’s friend who happens to be a cop. Wouldn’t it be a big twist if it was actually the really nice cop? Sure, but it may be a bit of a stretch to assume that it’s him. Of course, that could just be what I want you to think! He’s a pretty cool guy and he does send a few veiled threats at Marlowe to keep the hero honest. This guy’s one of the few people who can stand up to the hero at all!

This film does have a little more music than you would expect from the average 40’s film. I still don’t really remember any of the themes after watching it, but it’s better than nothing. This film has a decent amount of action since we get quite a few gunfights and even a quick hand to hand beatdown. There is some romance, but it’s not a whole lot so you should live.

One thing about the old films that can be amusing to see is how smart everyone is. It’s almost like every character is a genius. Not in an academic sense, but in a practical one. All of them know not to say too much and how to say it. They are all familiar with tricking the police and talking in very cryptic ways. Even breaking a code is not very tough for the main character. It’s interesting to say the least. At least this means that the hero knows how to get the jump on the villains to wrestle the gun away from them.

Overall, This was a pretty solid mystery. The writing was good and the pacing was very quick. There were many twists and even I would likely still wonder about some scenes by the end. All of the names just kind of blend together after a while and it’s hard to read the writing in such small print when they go to show the evidence. The film’s one weakness aside from the romance would likely be that they could have made the ending a little clearer. Give us some closure instead of abruptly ending. Either way, that’s good since the film will keep you guessing. It’s hard not to root for Marlowe since he’s just so great at being a detective. He really fears no one and he just continues to talk back to everyone that he meets. I highly recommend this film if you have been yearning to check out an old mystery and there is also some action to keep you interested in what’s happening. Let’s also not forget the haunted house atop the hill. This could end up as the best 1940’s film of all time! (A true feat to be sure)

Overall 7/10

Prince Haru vs Anguirus


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Prince Haru is back, but things aren’t going to go very well for him in this round. Anguirus is a Kaiju and he has the physical stats to prove it! He’s far too powerful for the Prince and it should be easy for him to take the win. Prince Haru doesn’t really have any special abilities of his own, which is why he doesn’t stand a chance here. Anguirus wins.

Star Saber vs Bass


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Star Saber has attained a pretty impressive record on the blog thus far, but even he has to meet with defeat against the likes of Bass. Bass has speed and power that are completely unheard of in the realm of media. Star Saber simply wouldn’t be able to keep up with Bass so hopefully he’ll take this loss gracefully. Bass wins.

Shulk vs Villager


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The Villager was definitely a shocking addition to the Super Smash roster, but I can’t say that I really care for his moveset so far. I’m sure that it’ll be a lot better on the Wii U version of course, but Shulk definitely has the massive advantage here. His energy sword works on any console and he has experience on his side. A few good hits should knock the Villager out of the runnings here. Shulk wins.

Daniel Witwicky vs Rodimus Prime


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Daniel Witwicky may have managed to win his first round on the blog, but he’s no match for Rodimus Prime! Rodimus has a lot of attack power at the ready and he did become a Prime! Daniel’s robot armor won’t really be able to help him here since Rodimus has a sword that has sliced through Decepticons in the past. Rodimus Prime wins.

Prince Haru vs Kumonga


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Prince Haru doesn’t have the greatest record on the blog and I have a feeling that this round isn’t really going to help matters! Kumonga has gone up against the King of the Monsters in the past. Compared to Godzilla, Prince Haru won’t really seem like a threat to the spider. I would recommend for Prince Haru to quit while he was ahead, but he never really got to be in the lead. Kumonga wins.

Enemy Territory Quake Wars Review

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It’s time for another first person shooter! TimeSplitters was pretty good so it’s safe to say that I had some reasonable hopes for this game. The level designs looked pretty intense from the back of the cover and it has a pretty sweet opening cutscene. I was all set for a pretty intense adventure, but this title is unfortunately not nearly as it could be. There’s a huge reason for this…so let’s get to it!

There is no real story mode. Let that sink in for a few minutes. There is a campaign mode and their are several countries to choose from, but it’s basically just a team Deathmatch like in Transformers. You can play them in online mode or offline. Naturally, it’s been a long time since this game came out so I didn’t even bother to check the servers. I jumped into the offline battle and it’s definitely not quite as entertaining on your own. You fight the enemies, but there is no plot and everything resets once you finish the level so you can try it again. You keep the level ups, but it’s really just like playing an online match by yourself.

I give the game credit for how big the levels are, but it’s not really enough to make this game a winner in my books. A story mode is a must or at least some more variety. There is seriously nothing to do in this game. I could play a lot of “multiplayer” matches by myself, but finishing one level was tough since it’s just so long. I definitely wouldn’t want to try the levels too many more times. You can optionally lower the timer to 10 minutes, but you still wouldn’t be accomplishing something. It would be another story if this game had trophies, but this was before the PS3 started giving them out to all of the games. Either way, I have a feeling that most of them wouldn’t be achievable anymore.

The gameplay is rather deep for an FPS. I dare say that it may be a little too complex, but I’m sure that Call of Duty fans will appreciate how much effort was put into this. You get 5 different weapons that you can shift between and you get to pick your class at the beginning of each match. Once you decide whether you want to be an alien or a human, you get to go onto the battlefield. You want to fulfill your objectives and conquer as much land as possible. The stage is so big that the battles easily take up the 40 minutes. I ended up dying about 50 times in those 40 minutes.

It’s similar to Star Fox Assault in that the vehicles are pretty overpowered. Your attacks don’t do all that much damage to them and a single hit will wipe you out. The enemy had a ton of objects at the ready to blast you with and my army felt pretty unprepared. You can also jump and duck. It’s a pretty realistic shooter as far as the mechanics are concerned. It’s also pretty cool to be able to coordinate such a large army and it’s like a beat em up, but without the fun parts. (The beating everyone up in fluid/fast gameplay that makes everything exciting.

The graphics definitely hold up rather well. A lot of detail has been added to the game and considering that this came out about half a decade ago, it holds up well. The enemy attacks really look cool and the opening is definitely something that will catch your attention. It’s very realistic, which works for the setting that this game has. I think the grenade explosions could be a little better, but this will have to do. There’s not much of a soundtrack here to speak of. It got lost in all of the shooting that was going on!

This game could have easily scored a 7 with a decent story mode. At least give us a 1 on 1 option for some local multiplayer! There really isn’t anything wrong with the gameplay and the levels really give you a lot of options. You can swim so you can go around the enemy base through water or you can set up ambushes in a factory. This game is really extensive and you could certainly make some real plans as long as you got the microphone for the PS3. On your own, none of that is an option and the game loses over 95% of its replay value. Fighting against computers isn’t very exciting and there are no real rewards, which also takes away the incentive of playing it. A game should always prioritize story mode over the online functions or at least make sure that it is a reasonably good option. This game had a lot of potential, but it ultimately blew it.

Overall, Quake Wars was definitely not as good as TimeSplitters. At its peak, I’m confident that it will have still lost since I preferred the gameplay in the futuristic title. It may have been rather simplistic, but that’s definitely okay for an FPS. The speed of the gameplay was important as well. Quake Wars is a dependable game if you just want to earn exp on your own against some computers, but know that there isn’t anything to do with it. It’s like questing by yourself in an MMO with no story and no ultimate goal. For that reason, this game is almost unplayable. You can definitely get it for a low price, but if you want to play a real FPS, check out Agent Under Fire for Gamecube! Now that is an FPS with a story that also contains a very solid multiplayer alternative.

Overall 4/10