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O. Henry’s Full House Review

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It’s time for an anthology film and you know that those can sometimes get a little dicey. Well, this one ends up being solid as most of the stories are pretty good. There is one particularly weak story that does almost lower this one by a star because it can really drag but the positive ones outweighed the weakest link. Ultimately this would be one of the better anthologies that I have seen.

So lets jump into each story. The first one is about a guy who wants to be arrested. He likes to be kept in a jail cell during the colder months of the year because then he is guaranteed 3 square meals and a warm place to sleep. The jails were pretty well kept back in those days and so it was like a free hotel service. The trick is he needs something that will keep him in jail for exactly 3 months so it can’t be anything too mild or anything too brutal. It would also be nice not to get beaten up or shot so he has to be careful on what kinds of crimes he dishes out. Unfortunately nobody seems to want to arrest him. What can he do now?

It does feel like this should still be a very easy mission to complete though. I mean there are so many ways to get arrested even if you’re just looking for non-violent means. The main guy tries some mild stuff like theft, dining and dashing, etc. but it just isn’t working. At that point the guy needed to adjust his gameplan a bit. Maybe try dining and dashing a second time since it usually works you know what I mean? It does lead to a funny gag at the end though so it worked out. This was a pretty fun story with a good amount of humor and solid pacing.

Then in the next story we jump to a murder case that has been unsolved…until now. See one of the cops recognizes the pen left at the scene of the crime. It belongs to a guy he used to know who was always a petty crook but evidently he has gone beyond that now. Thing is, he owes this crook $1000 and doesn’t feel right arresting him before paying the money back. So now he has to earn the money before the guy skips town but how do you raise 1000 that quickly? It’s a good story but I do have some rather massive issues with it.

First off, this villain’s a murderer. I don’t care if the cop owes him a million dollars, you have to bring him in so that he doesn’t murder anyone else. He is clearly unhinged after all so why hold back? You can pay him back while he’s in jail as long as he isn’t executed. So the whole premise to me didn’t make a lot of sense. It’s a very weak excuse to potentially let someone stay on the loose causing a bunch of trouble. The main character lost a lot of my respect at that point.

It’s still a very fun story though which is why it stays at a high level. The pacing is good and the writing is very solid. In general outside of one story involving a kid, the writing is always good which is what makes the anthology work. It balances the humor and solid elements well. The cop just comes across as the biggest pushover I’ve seen in a while. He literally lets the villain punch him in the stomach and doesn’t do anything about it. You can’t let people be putting hands on you like that. Trust me, it never ends well.

After that is a bit of a weaker story. Basically a girl is heartbroken and literally falls to the ground. She ends up catching pneumonia from staying out in the snow for too long and now her health is a matter of life and death. She should have recovered sooner but part of her doesn’t want to get better as life is meaningless without her man. So her sister and a kind neighbor try to help her out but she has this delusion about her life being tied to that of a tree outside. Once the final leaf falls, she will take her last breath. It’s an old tree that will soon be destroyed though so what can the heroes do?

The girl who is sick ends up being rather annoying here. Obviously it’s much easier said than done to tell her to buck up and handle this in stride but she really doesn’t help them out at all. I think this is a good place to quickly remind you all that nobody is so important that losing them means your life has no purpose. You have to always continue on living and while I would not recommend rebounding, find some solo activities to enjoy. Ultimately the neighbor comes through when it counts here. I do think he was taken for granted the whole time as he was really doing his best to help out through and through. He may not be a great artist but he was clearly someone who cared about them. So I was glad that the ending addressed that and it was the best ending out of any of the specials. (Although most of the stories did have really satisfying conclusions)

Now we enter the worst story of the bunch. Basically two guys who are down on their luck decide to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. They succeed but what they don’t realize is that this kid is really tough and he starts to literally beat them up. The town also has a no returns policy so if they want to bring the kid back then they are going to have to pay $250 which is rough when they don’t have much money. Can they survive this experience?

While most of the stories do have some comedic undertones they were great at balancing them with the serious moments. That’s not the case with this story as its fully comical and completely unrealistic. It goes a bit too far here with such a small kid beating up the two adults the whole time. The kid is supremely annoying and the same goes for the adults who are losing this battle. The whole plot doesn’t make sense but instead of that being in a cool abstract way like the Twilight Zone, it just comes across as really annoying.

The story ends up dragging on quite a bit as a result so I dunno I think they could have done a whole lot better with this one. If you make the story too serious it would be a bit too dark of course but somewhere in the middle would have made sense. Like have the two adults still be nice people so they can’t do much about the kid but then have the kid still be a lot of work. You could absolutely make this work and it was the only time I felt the writing was not up to par.

Finally we have the famous Christmas gift exchange story. It doesn’t compete with the Mickey Mouse version but that’s how it goes. Basically a recent couple is getting ready for Christmas but they are really poor. They tend to imagine having fancy foods and items but in reality they never get to have anything all that fancy. Well, each of them decides that they want to get something big for once so the guy gets his girl a fancy hair set while she gets him a really good watch strap. Unfortunately things take a rough turn with what they each had to sacrifice in order to make this work.

It’s a pretty tragic story all around. I mean the underlining message is that they didn’t really need any of that stuff and can still be happy but it’s still a shame to see what they have lost. It won’t be easy to get the watch back and while the girl’s hair will grow back, it’ll take time. It’s why secret presents and such can be fun but you do have to be careful about the whole thing. Keep your partner happy but don’t sacrifice something so precious that it’ll end up working out more like a guilt trip. Surprises can be double edged swords in that regard but all in all it was definitely a quality story through and through.

Overall, This was a pretty good anthology. Most of the stories worked out well which is exactly what you want to see in a collection like this. The writing tended to be good and the stories were on point. I’d definitely recommend checking this one out and I expect you will have a good time with it. The stories may be fairly basic but that’s why the execution is always important. They are handled well and so you are absolutely entertained.

Overall 7/10

The Holiday Review

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You might as well call this the rebound movie because that is constantly what is going on here. The characters jump from one person to the next with limitless speed. It’s completely uncanny and ultimately takes away from any message of true love that the film is trying to express. It ends up getting too dramatic and so ultimately none of the characters really make a lot of sense here. I cringed a lot more during this movie than any other recent title.

The movie starts off by introducing us to two characters who have both experienced a lot of heartache recently. First is Amanda who is super rich and owns her own film trailers company where she excels. Unfortunately her boyfriend cheated on her and so she breaks up with him and now has nobody to spend Christmas with. She decides to enroll in this super sketchy program where you swap houses with someone and flies all the way to England to get started on her vacation. Now she can be away from all of the usual neighborhoods which could remind her of her ex but she just can’t be alone anymore. So when some guy shows up at her new house she is ready for a quick one night stand.

Meanwhile Iris is having guy trouble of her own as she is in an unrequited love with one of the guys at work. He’s engaged to another woman and has lots of affairs but she is satisfied with just receiving his attention sometimes. He knows that she likes him and continues to exploit this fact by telling her that he needs her and letting her get some action now and again. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic though so Iris ends up swapping houses with Amanda. Now she can finally enjoy being rich for a little while but the colleague continues to call her because he needs some help on his projects. Can she learn to block his number in time?

In a lot of these adventures I really don’t get why the characters don’t just block the number. Seriously it’s not that hard and then you don’t have to worry about seeing any of those messages or calls ever again. In particular from the two characters I also can’t really sympathize with Iris all that much. She’s just too much of a pushover. Unrequited love is one thing. Sure that can be rough but at the same time it’s not this huge mess she’s making it out to be. When you’re in love with someone then you’re happy as long as they are. A crush is when you’re sad that your girl/guy got snagged before you could make your move. True love is much deeper than that and so as long as the girl he is with is a good person then that’s it.

So her jealousy the whole time isn’t great. You either move on or just really enjoy the moments you have with the guy. You do not continue being a homewrecker or just pouting the whole time. Then when you find out that the guy actually knows the whole situation and keeps weaponizing it, that is when Iris should have gotten out of there. How does she even love the guy when he’s this toxic? Yeah her plot just didn’t win me over in the slightest and it really hurts her as a character.

There’s a scene near the end that hurts her a lot too. So she’s ready to rebound with the nice music guy when her ex shows up again. Iris is ready to throw all of that away immediately to get back together with him and the only thing that stops her is that he’s still engaged. Meaning?? She would have gone back together with him if he had claimed that he called it off. It’s a horrible look and is why I can’t root for any of the romances in this film because this kind of thing keeps on happening.

Miles is the guy she’s supposed to end up with but he’s not much better. For starters I think he is a bit too much of a flirt. I half forgot that he was even dating someone because when he meets Iris he’s being super friendly, gives long awkward stares, kisses her on the cheek twice later on, etc. So then his girlfriend cheats on him so he feels bad and goes to Iris for the rebound…..only to then go back to the ex real quick when she asks him over. Ultimately he says no this time and goes back to Iris but again why is he tempted at such a late date? It implies that she could have won him over depending on how she handled this. Real bad look for Miles.

Men and Women reading this blog, always remember to know your worth. If you’re someone’s second choice then that isn’t the person you want to be with. The other wise words of wisdom I’m going to impart is to be careful if someone is too easy as well. Because the way you obtain someone is often the way you lose them. So if someone you like offers you a one night stand right away…know that the offer may be extended to others as well. So yeah when it comes to advice in the ways of love, I’m your guy. I’m something of a romantic expert myself after all….

Yeah back to the movie though, we’re cutting back to Amanda’s plot now. Her plot is also one that’s hard to be sympathetic with. I will say that she handled the Ex way better than Iris though. He cheated so she punched him in the face and kicked him out. Boom that was it for him. No second thoughts, no half hearted apologies, etc. He was gone and out of the movie. Where Amanda’s plot goes wrong is it takes a few seconds upon meeting some complete stranger for her to go all the way with him. Are you kidding me? If that’s similar to how fast she went with the first guy then it’s not too surprising that he ended up being a cheater. The entire point of dating is to find out the true character of a person after all. So you don’t get to learn about that if you’re skipping that whole phase.

Of course, knowing someone isn’t super easy and there are tons of ins and outs to romance that take years of experience and other parts that just require faith. This guy named Graham has a lot of secrets of his own which he doesn’t share and that does make him look bad by the end. Ultimately this plot was just annoying with Amanda and Graham both appearing to have no morals the whole time. I wouldn’t trust either one with my groceries let alone in a relationship! They just seem way too desperate.

The only real quality character here is Arthur. He’s a fairly old guy who is having health issues but still has a fairly positive attitude. He’s a fierce guy too who doesn’t let anyone push him around. He injected some humor into the film and had some of the best moments. The film could actually be inspiring and emotional when it wanted to be rather than being super dramatic all of the time. So this was definitely when the film was at its best. If it could have skipped the romance and just focused on making friends and learning how to enjoy yourself then that would have been a much better film.

The fact that the main characters cannot function by themselves without constantly being in a relationship is in itself a red flag. You should be able to be fairly self sufficient as needed because if not then you’re probably going to be a very clingy partner. You should always have your own interests as well so if you guy/gal needs to be on a business trip or working late you have something to do beyond blasting their phone with endless texts and things like that. None of these characters really seemed all that happy on their own so they aren’t in that perfect spot yet.

Overall, The Holiday is one of those films where you don’t really buy into the characters having a happy ending. They’re all too quick to rebound so it’s hard to see how they could possibly trust each other. There’s just too much baggage and so the relationships probably won’t last. The film could have really worked on making the characters more likable all around if you ask me. The writing isn’t the best and while the film is long, it stuffs itself with so many plots that it doesn’t really matter. It’s just used to create more and more problems for the heroes with made them more and more irredeemable. There are some fairly high quality songs thrown into the mix at least though.

Overall 3/10

Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto Review

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It’s time for an anime that is fairly bonkers and definitely in a good way. This show takes the idea of the perfect student and dials it up to 11. Sakamoto can do no wrong and he makes for a very solid main character. You will probably find yourself identifying with his character and basically going “That’s me for real” the whole time. That’s how moving he is. Yeah the show definitely goes by pretty quickly as a result and each episode has something crazy going on.

For the most part each episode is fairly stand alone but there is a true continuity the whole way through. Past events will be referenced and some episodes do continue. The basic premise though is that there is a student named Sakamoto who is basically perfect. Everyone loves this guy, he aces every kind of class and challenge that gets put in his path. The guy is super agile, powerful, and knowledgeable. Yet the guy has a good amount of humility and will always help others out. The school can use someone like Sakamoto because there are a lot of bullies here and so without him the place would fall into anarchy. Can he make the school a better place or does he have a secret flaw?

The opening song is pretty catchy for the series. It really grabs you and stays fairly memorable. The show itself has a pretty good ost as well with some nice variety in there. I’m not saying it’s the next Naruto of course but yeah this is high quality stuff all the way. The animation is also solid although it’s not a stand out. For a show like this that’s part comedy I imagine they didn’t break the bank in terms of the animation quality. So it looks pretty good but it’s not the top of the line stuff. You wouldn’t likely see it in any best animated moments kind of thread.

Where the show excels is with the humor and writing which is bound to get a few laughs out of you. The situations can just be so out there and absurd that you can’t help but grin a little. You always know that Sakamoto will get some characters out of trouble and it’s just about seeing how he will do it. Sometimes he will do it himself like pretending to be possessed and other times he will manipulate the students into doing the right thing. That’s why Sakamoto is a secret mastermind, he’s always a few steps ahead of the competition.

He has to be up there as one of the best characters in the series and that would probably be true for most people. Even if you don’t tend to like the perfect character trope, Sakamoto is very aware of this and so the show has a lot of fun with it. As a result this portrayal works really well. Sakamoto just makes the world a better place and I only have one negative for his character which is that sometimes he goes too far in sandbagging. Like there’s one episode where he gets blackmailed into buying some sketchy DVDs and another where he ends up being the servant of one of the bullies.

Yes, at no point is he in any serious danger and you know he’s just playing along for fun but it’s still not the best look for the guy. Personally if you ask me, I’d just like to see him stand up for himself there and show them up even if it’s in a subtle way. I’d say he tends to be more passive aggressive in how he handles these moments by being a bit too useful and that’s the gag in those moments but eh…that’s the only time I’m not super impressed with him. His positive moments heavily outweigh the negative ones though which is why he’s still a great character. He’s always got a plan and does his best to stay on top.

His friend Kubota is more of a sad character who gets picked on and isn’t strong enough to fight back. That’s a tough predicament to be in for sure so you do feel bad about that. His role in the show is a lot smaller than I would have guessed though as he doesn’t do much after the initial episodes. He has a running gag about his hair changing a lot but that’s about it. Honestly you forget him as soon as he leaves the screen so we didn’t need more screentime anyway.

Atsushi is one of the main bullies in the show and he gets a big role. Unfortunately he does tend to be one of the more annoying character and takes way more Ls than Ws. This guy gets shown up early and turns over a new leaf but he has very weak willpower which means that he backslides very often. You may think that you can count on him after a point but unfortunately that just isn’t the case. He looks really bad in the climax of the series where he completely loses his mind and the main problem is that it’s due to him being tricked. Now granted he would have looked bad no matter what his excuse was but getting tricked makes it sting extra hard.

The guy just didn’t get consistently better and falling backwards like that is a quick way for me to lose respect for the character. At least the same thing didn’t happen to his two friends but they couldn’t stop him anyway so it didn’t help much. Then you have Sera who likes being the center of attention but of course he can’t compete with Sakamoto. That leads to a lot of jealousy and petty moments for the guy. Unlike Atsushi though, he actually has a consistent character arc and ends up becoming a better person after he is humbled the first time. He has a very unfortunate reoccurring gag about stripping though which does hurt his character. It’s more sad than funny most of the time and you feel bad for him because initially he had such great aspirations for himself. Now he is doomed to just be the comic relief.

Aina is a fun character even if she doesn’t have time to do too much. Basically she likes Sakamoto and aims to seduce him but she finds that it’s not so easy because the guy is always extremely focused. He overpowers all of her techniques and she also has to deal with a lot of people meddling in her affairs. The fight over the Ouija board was a really entertaining moment though and one of the better parts in the series. Talk about high takes, you really had to be careful what answer Aina forced on the group. If the series were longer I imagine she would have had more full episodes but the series is pretty short and mainly each character had to get their moment to shine so there wasn’t much time for general chats.

Megumi is more of a timid character in comparison. While Aina directly goes to Sakamoto to try and get him, Megumi is content to hide and try to take pictures of him in secret. You have to give her points for effort there but ultimately as a character she’s not great. I just tend to prefer the bolder characters and so she’s not going to stack up like that. Even a minor character like Kakuta leaves more of an impact because the gag of him trying to get Sakamoto to be one second late to penalize him is a fun one. The guy just is never able to pull this off.

Shigemi is one of the worst characters here. Her gag is that even though she is the mother of Sakamoto’s friend, she falls for him. His natural charms are simply too powerful and while we all know and understand the gag, it doesn’t make her any less annoying. You’re still shaking your head when she shows up. She only gets one full episode to herself but yeah it’s a bit rough. I think the gag was overplayed right out of the gate.

Maruyama was a more entertaining character and that’s considering the fact that he ended up being more annoying at times because of how that was the episode where Sakamoto was working for him the whole time which was hard to watch. Still, the gag of being scared because of how talented Sakamoto was at least worked a lot better as a gag and could hold up its own episode there. The episode being solid is always the important part. Like i wasn’t a big fan of any of the kids but their episode about not crossing the line was still fun. It showed that Sakamoto would make time even to hang out with some kids.

Then we have Hayabusa who is another great character that you could rank near the top. He may be the head honcho of the bullies but he seems like a standup guy. He has a solid honor code and lets his people do whatever they want. He seems to just want to have a good time and for nobody to get seriously hurt. He even sticks up for Sakamoto when the going gets tough. This guy is the real deal and definitely someone that you want on your side. His episode where he tries to survive a fancy restaurant experience was also a very noble one.

Trust me that’s a rough spot because a lot of that fancy food doesn’t even taste good. He did it all to support his father which was really nice of him. Now at the end of the day you should stick up for yourself and make sure not to get yourself into a jam like that but his heart was in the right place. He did want to make things better all around so it’s hard to fault him for that.

Finally we have Fukase who is the big villain here. The head honcho, the big cheese. He does a good job of ending the season off with a bang. Now this is one plot where I wasn’t crazy about the resolution though because I was just expecting more. The gag itself is funny to an extent but the fast redemption arc just didn’t feel earned. This guy caused a whole lot of trouble after all and while it’s great that he will be a better person now, I wanted more of a true fight. This guy felt like he could be on Sakamoto’s level with all of the tough talk so I just needed to see that in action.

In the end he was more of a strategic fighter which is cool too but seeing someone give Sakamoto a run for his money would have been fun. Maybe next time I suppose. The ending itself was still pretty fun as an emotional climax and a solid name drop. I was thinking it would have been cool to have seen Sakamoto join a new school or something. My theory was that he was like an alien or something sent to make the school a better place. I found out about a darker theory after finishing the show which makes a lot of sense though in which case you can see why they went with this ending.

Overall, This was a really fun show. It’s a full on comedy title that really makes use of the absurd humor style. It can sometimes be tough for a show to get going right away with the humor but this one pulled it off. It was important to start fast too considering that it’s not like this one has 50 episodes to burn. A lot of comedy titles need a second genre to work as well but this one just went all in and it turned out well. I’d say the replay value is fairly strong as well since there are so many gags per episode. Throw in a solid main character and a pretty decent cast overall and you’re set. Outside of the episode with the Mom chasing Sakamoto, all of the other episodes were pretty solid as well. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good time. Even if you’re not typically a comedy fan, I’d say to give this one a chance because it’s very accessible.

Overall 7/10

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card Review

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It’s time to look at the sequel to the original Cardcaptors series. It accomplished something that is usually very tricky to pull off which is that it’s simply a whole lot better. In my mind it’s not even close as this one had a better villain, higher stakes, and better emotional moments. The series is still fairly low key so I’m not saying it’s a great title or anything but I had a good time with it. I imagine it also works even better when you’re binging it because you can get to all of the story beats quickly. At its core this is a series that is very peaceful and has a lot of wholesome moments. The ending is solid enough and while you may have preferred a more explosive climax, the series delivers when it counts.

So the series starts off with something odd happening. All of Sakura’s cards end up being depowered and turning back to normal. This is rather concerning but what is even more concerning is the fact that Sakura is having some odd dreams about someone in a cloak. Well, Sakura doesn’t scare easily so she goes about her business and then one day her school gets a new transfer student named Akiho. She looks a lot like Sakura and is also very kind and timid. They may as well be twins and Akiho’s guardian is a nice man named Kaito. He exudes a powerful presence but hey that just means that this guy is legit. For some reason Syaoran has started to keep some secrets from Sakura though, will this cause some friction to develop?

I will say straight from the start it is annoying that Syaoran is keeping secrets like this. Seriously he and Sakura have been through so much already. He should be telling her everything that he can. Yes, there are certain things he is physically unable to tell her because of a spell so I’m not counting those of course. No, I’m talking about the secrets that he does know about and chooses not to tell her anyway. Sakura is cool with this because she’s super understanding and will forgive anything but it’s a bad look for him.

Syaoran ends up getting wrecked quite a lot in this series because he can’t really keep up with the power levels at this point. It is nice to see him act a bit in the climax but for most of the story expect him to stay on the sidelines. That’s also true for most of the supporting characters but that’s mainly expected since that’s usually what they do. At this point they’re there for the school scenes but aren’t really intervening in the plot too much. The series is long enough where those scenes do add up but I do think the cast is one of the weak points of the series. There aren’t many characters that I love. There are some solid ones but not a ton of them.

The character doing the heavy lifting here is absolutely Kaito. This guy is absolutely excellent and really controls the plot. I looked forward to seeing him every week because as long as he was around I knew that things would move forward. His goals are also very noble. He is the antagonist but he’s not trying to murder everyone or anything like that. He’s trying to make life better for one person in particular and is willing to do whatever it takes to help her out. That’s what I like to see in a solid villain. I would even say he is more of an anti hero to be honest.

Basically he fought off an entire council of super wizards to protect Akiho and then he also risked his eternal soul in addition to his life in order to save her. It’s all incredibly impressive stuff. Stuff that you wouldn’t see from the average villain trying to mess up everyone’s day. Clamp has had their share of evil villains too of course so it can happen but I was cool with having a more heroic focus this time around. Self sacrifice is always a great character trait to have and I also liked how powerful he was.

Kaito spent his life trying to be as powerful as possible and learning spells to help Akiho. The fact that he reached such a high level is a testament to his dedication. The two of them had a really strong bond the whole time. Although he really saw Akiho as more of a close friend while she was hoping for more, that’s how it goes sometimes. Akiho is a solid character but she’s too young to really know what is going on. In part that’s due to Kaito though because he really wanted her to be able to lead an ordinary, quiet life. So he succeeded completely in that part.

He didn’t count on her still being worried about him though but there’s not much that he could have done about that. No matter how expert he was in using his abilities, it would still show a little from time to time and when it comes to Kaito, Akiho would be fairly observant in that area.

The manga also has a little fun with the time travel like when the series literally rewinds a few chapters because Kaito used his powers. This happens more than once and it’s a lot of fun. It shows just how advanced his abilities are. Of course eventually that won’t work on a true powerhouse like Sakura. Another thing I liked about this sequel is that it treated Sakura with a lot of respect. This makes sense because at this point in the series she should absolutely be stronger than most of the people who show up. Sakura has been fighting for much longer than them and she has mastered the cards. So seeing her defy time stop and overpower fate was great.

Of course this series isn’t about action like that but when it happens I am always glad to see it. That’s when the series is at its best and of course the general plot with Kaito. Where it tends to be less engaging is in the slice of life stuff which of course is rough since that’s the majority. Again it goes back to the characters because I’ve read tons of Shojo at this point and they always tend to be more engaging. From rom-coms like Love-Com to the more dramatic ones like Arisa, you get hooked on the story. For Cardcaptor, it just feels like a lot of the dialogue is fluff. Like the characters talking about a picnic or a nice dress to wear. It’s all just so down to earth that it goes too far into not being very entertaining the whole time.

I would really love to see the series go full on action. There are enough fighters at this point where that could happen and Kaito could easily take on just about anyone in the verse. It’s a dream of course but it would be really nice. Clamp has shown in the past that they can absolutely do a battle series when they really want to. It would make things more eventful for sure. After all this series is over 10 volumes and yet if you cut out the fluff/filler you could probably adapt the whole thing in 4 volumes. That may be a slight exaggeration but at least to me that makes sense based on how much you don’t actually need to get involved with. It does make for a much shorter review than most titles of this size would be as well since there’s not a whole lot to discuss.

Really the bulk of the discussion points are about Kaito and I’ve already went into that. He was an amazing character with a great goal and I was supporting him the whole time. I know you could say a flaw of his is that he tries to do everything himself without asking for help but it is completely understandable. He’s the one with time manipulation abilities after all and putting anyone else into the mix could put them in some serious danger. So it’s just not that strange that he’s a solo act even with everyone telling him to calm down all the time. He knows what he is doing so they need to let him cook.

I will say that Sakura has had some noticeable character development since the original series which isn’t something that you can say for everyone. She is a little bolder and more outspoken now. She did confront Syaoran when she needed too and also stood her ground with Kaito. She’s still very humble but was ready to fight and knew the length of her abilities when going up against the villains. I’d still like Sakura to eventually get more aggressive but it can’t be denied that she has improved which is always great to see.

The artwork here is definitely pretty solid. At times Sakura and Akiho look so similar that you can mix them up but given that this is actually a story beat in-universe I can let it slide. It’s clearly intentional after all. It’s always easy to read through the chapters and everything is very detailed.

Overall, Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card is a good sequel. I do think it could have stood to be a little more exciting of course but ultimately it was a fun ride. I had a good time at least and while it would not be my highest recommendation to someone, I wouldn’t tell anyone to avoid it or anything like that. You should prepare for a very slow burn though. It lasted a lot longer than I remember and that’s in part because nothing really happens most of the time. The strong art and intriguing plot carry it but in between those moments there is a lot of emptyness. It still has wholesome messages that are fun for everyone and the whole Kaito plot is really written well. The final twists involving some names are a bit underwhelming and dare I say pointless but till the series had a good run. If we ever get another sequel it’ll be interesting to see what happens there.

Overall 6/10

Paycheck Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty interesting premise, in part because I could see this actually happening in real life at some point. Companies want to keep things confidential after all and right now people sign non-disclosure agreements but at the end of the day those are hardly full proof. What if they could just erase your memories? Oh man that would be a company’s ultimate dream! This movie is pretty fun and will keep you entertained the whole time but I do have to admit that the main character does come across as gullible.

The film starts off by introducing us to Michael who basically contracts with various companies to work on specialized projects. After which his memories are deleted and he goes off to live his life. The positive here of course is that he’s making absolute bank. The guy is basically rich because of the missions but the negative of course is that he’s missing massive parts of his life. He’s completely okay with this and feels that it’s a fair trade off though. Well, one day an old friend shows up and asks him if he is interested in a longer term contract. This one will last 3 years and of course he won’t remember any of it. Michael agrees but when he wakes up, it turns out that he gave away all of his money for some reason and all of the records have been destroyed. Now he is being hunted and it’s all an elaborate frame up. What can he do to get out of this?

I have to give the film more credit here because this is exactly what my worst fear would be. When you’re erasing whole chunks of your memory like that, you seriously have no idea what happened previously and that is opening up the door to all kinds of trouble. You can’t properly defend yourself from someone accusing you of something when you yourself don’t know what occurred right? So long story short, I would never even consider doing this even if the money was really good like this. An added wrinkle is in this film the procedure of removing memories is actually super dangerous as well so one wrong move and you will lose all of your memories or potentially even die in the machine.

Michael is one of those guys who usually takes things in stride. He’s fairly confident in himself and is skilled but as a character I wouldn’t say that he’s great. He’s cool with having one night stands since he figures that he will forget all about them afterwards anyway and that doesn’t make for a particularly solid romance. So once he does fall for someone you have a hard time buying into it. The romance doesn’t seem all that convincing and in large part it’s because the main character doesn’t exactly seem like a great guy.

You still feel bad for him of course since being framed is rough but that’s about it. As the main heroine Rachel isn’t bad. Taking aside the romance plot of it all, she does contribute a lot to the plot and can also be rather tough which I always like to see in the heroine. Michael also has a friend in Shorty who is very helpful here. The guy has a bit of an “I told you so” attitude but it is completely justified he whole time. Like this was a bad idea from the jump and it was pretty clear to see.

Now where the film taps into some interesting themes is with how Michael keeps having items on hand that are useful in very specific circumstances at specific moments. It’s basically as if he is following a destiny that is pre written by his past self who saw into the future. I always like theory crafting with time and looking at all of the different ways it could work. Basically, if you can see into the future then does that imply that your future is written in stone, you are just seeing one possible version?, or was that the future but the instant you saw it, it has now changed since you can effect things?

Personally I always go with the one possible version theory because to me it makes the most sense by far. You should be able to change the future once you have seen it and everything being pre written is just hard to buy for me. That said, this one is mainly going in that direction as Michael saw the future and planned things out extremely carefully in a self fulfilling cycle where he saw what was going to happen and made sure that it did. So what happens when two people see the future? Well that’s another interesting one.

The climax is pretty fun as it deals with all of that. On the whole I wouldn’t say the film is super action packed or anything like that but there are a whole lot of chase scenes. We also get the government involved which is always fun. Of course they do tend to get in the way a lot at first as they take everything at face value and fall for the villain’s traps. The fact that they went straight to torturing the lead and nearly frying his brain was a really bad look for them. Come on now can’t they at least pretend to not act like the villains for a little while?

Overall, Paycheck is a pretty fun. On its surface it’s just a classic action thriller but the time manipulation and sci-fi elements help to make it stand out. It has some interesting themes there and while that’s never the focus, it is still a fun little thing to touch on even if it’s just temporary. I’d recommend checking this film out, it’s a solid cautionary tale about how technology can get really dangerous really quickly if you rely on it too much. At the end of the day I personally recommend not letting anyone mess with your memories, but hey that’s just me. Also important to note that even if you don’t remember something, it still happened. So Michael’s idea here about doing stuff since he won’t remember it later on…yeah not a very good idea.

Overall 7/10

Empire of the Ants Review

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Time for a foe that is just as scary as a spider…an ant! Look you don’t want to mess with Ants for a variety of reasons but one is that they always have numbers on their side. The plot of this film changes quite a bit as the film goes on and the second half in particular is very interesting with the route that was chosen. The ending isn’t quite as hype as the spiders film though but ultimately this one executes at a much higher level.

The movie starts by introducing us to a bunch of characters who are invited onto a private island to see if they want to buy it or invest in it. They are all supposed to be rich people who can afford such a lavish purchase but what the host doesn’t realize is…a good deal of them are not rich or have no interest in buying the property at all. They’re just here to mess around and eat the free food. It also appears that this place is a scam anyway which is why it’s being offered away so aggressively. Unfortunately the danger isn’t merely to the pocket books as harmful chemicals have given the ants an attack boost. They are now massive and can rip people apart with ease. Can our heroes hold their own against these guys or are they doomed?

The film starts out quite poorly with one guy getting a girl alone and attacking her. She barely manages to fend him off but rather than murdering him or having the guy arrested she doesn’t really report this to anyone and just leaves. The guy’s boss also doesn’t do anything so from this point on you’re really just waiting for the ant to eat him. Like come on why are you starting the film like this. The whole intro is a bit slow as the characters all talk but most of them seem to hate each other and there’s a ton of very awkward small talk. It’s awkward by design of course but it does make for a fairly slow pace. Gradually they start to pair up and get along but you’re really just waiting for the ants to show up.

Sure enough they appear to start murdering people one by one. A good chunk of the film is about running around and trying to dodge ants. There are always various forks in the road so the characters will split up and you try to decide which ones made the wrong call. To an extent no route is that safe though so there is a lot of danger every which way. One thing the film does really good about showing though is that the ants are quite smart. They actively make plans and even try guiding the heroes into specific locations. Ants are generally pretty smart and have an advanced system within the tribe and so I’m glad we got to see that.

This part is fairly by the numbers but with so many annoying characters you are glad to see them get taken out. Some are more tragic than others though like an elderly couple that tries to hide in a house. You feel bad because it’s really a rough way to go when you’ve been around for so long. Like you lived to be 80 and then now you’re going to be eaten by ants? Just doesn’t feel right so that adds a tragic element to the film. The deaths can also be a little on the violent side. Not super overdone or anything. I think it’s just that enough of the death is shown so when you add it to how you imagine it would feel to be eaten alive and it’s a really rough picture.

As I mentioned the second half is where things get really interesting though. So the survivors make it over to a nearby town where everyone seems really nice but secretive. They don’t want the heroes to leave the town or anything like that. A little strange…but okay. So the heroes need to get out fast now but they will be up against the full might of the U.S. Government. There are a lot of secrets being held here and the biggest one really comes out of nowhere. It’s definitely an interesting moment though and explains why the place is so unnerving. I thought it was a brilliant twist but this really should have been the bulk of the movie. It’s just got so much potential and I feel like we didn’t stay here long enough.

Honestly if you focus on the second half I do think you could have actually gotten a pretty high score for the film. Remove the most annoying characters as well and treat this like a Twilight Zone episode. I feel like it was almost there, the whole thing was so close to being awesome and it just could not seal the deal. The two halves almost feel like completely different films and you don’t see that very often.

Overall, Empire of the Ants is not a film that I would rank very high. Too many annoying characters everywhere and while the dialogue can be rather funny, I don’t think the writing is great. The twists are a whole lot of fun but you will have some big questions about a few and won’t have time to get the answers. The ending gets really convenient really quickly and just makes the villains look super sloppy as opposed to making the heroes look like geniuses. The moves just should not have worked and so I was real skeptical. Still, I applaud the film taking things in such a different direction because I really did not see that coming. It came as a real big surprise and absolutely elevated the film because if we were just talking about the first half then we would have been in trouble.

Overall 5/10

Kingdom of the Spiders Review

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It’s time for a story about evil spiders so you know that this is going to be intense. Spiders do not hold back and I can tell you that from experience. I personally don’t think they’re quite as scary as the movies would have you believe but then again I’ve never come face to face with one of those huge ones in real life. I’ve only been around the smaller variety. This movie is a pretty intense thriller through and through with a really solid ending but the characters are not amazing and there is some serious plot armor here.

Okay so the story starts off with Rack messing around. He’s probably the best doctor in this small town in part because he’s the only one. When a horse dies from some venom randomly he’s kind of puzzled but calls in an expert. Diane shows up and explains that it was a spider bite but Rack doesn’t take her seriously for a moment and keeps flirting with her. He’s also busy flirting with another girl but gets mistaken for his dead brother which ruins that moment. Rack just wants romance! So he keeps trying with everyone but what the town really needs is for someone to focus because the death count starts to increase. Even the farm dog gets murdered which the film added as a little punch to the gut for any viewers who were hoping for a high quality experience. It turns out that Diane was right and an army of spiders are approaching to destroy everyone, all around the world. They’re going to destroy everyone Rack loves, starting with the people in the town. Can he stop them?

Now while I give Rack a lot of grief for being a completely patronizing, irresponsible jerk, things wouldn’t have changed much even if he took the threat seriously from the start. The reason comes down to a numbers advantage, there are millions and millions of spiders running around. They can tank fire by going underground and they can run really fast. Short of nuking the area or something like that you are not going to defeat them. The mayor wants to use some strong chemicals but aside from the fact that it would end up hurting a lot of humans as well, the spiders may be immune because they are mutant types.

So the town was always doomed. What was a bit surprising is that we actually see a large part of the fight onscreen. Usually you see the aftermath or something but no we see the spiders jumping people and taking them down. It’s a little hard to buy at face value but the film does put in some work to make it a little more plausible. For example, one bite is enough to seriously start to paralyze you and if you hit the ground then you’ll die right away because of the endless bites. So your best bet is not to get hit at all or to get bit once while running and the adrenaline will help you out.

It’s pretty tragic if anything seeing everyone get taken down though. The climax gets surprisingly violent with everyone being eaten alive. Even the mayor/sheriff had a bit of a grisly end there. I don’t know why people were trying to stop his car though except to doom them all. Like those people are already dead men walking so at least let this guy escape right? Ah well I suppose that wasn’t in the cards. Now the film does bend this law a bit though which is where the plot armor comes in.

So as I explained if you are bitten then it’s game over. You can just throw in the white flag because there is no getting away from this right? Wrong! Rack gets bit a ton of times and then hits the floor. By everything we’ve seen in the film that means he is dead and yet somehow he gathers up enough energy to recover and rejoin the rest of the cast. The scene made absolutely no sense and was completely annoying. You can’t just have plot armor like that for no reason. If they said he was a poison expert or something and was already immune for the most part then that would be fine but there’s no reason he should be alive here. I just can’t accept that.

It doesn’t help that he’s such a bad character too. The guy doesn’t take anything seriously and having more than one romance plot in the same movie is always a massive thumbs down. This guy’s not loyal nor is he trustworthy. You would not want to be paired with him because ultimately he’ll just see you as the next romance partner. It’s why Diane ended up being disappointing as she quickly ended up liking him anyway. There was no reason for that.

It’s too bad because the idea of trying to shelter in a house while spiders try to break in from all sides is pretty tense. The film just doesn’t execute particularly well. Any film with animals attacking you is likely to be a dicey one as that can quickly go into animal violence but it doesn’t need to happen. Why even have the dog appear at all? It’d be nice if the spiders had not gone after any animals and were just shredding the humans. They shouldn’t have any beef with the other wildlife right?

All that aside, the ending is really good though. It makes for a solid cliffhanger and is like something out of Resident Evil. The true horrors still await the main cast and you know that they are not in a good spot. I would argue that they aren’t quite doomed yet though. Given that the spiders are small I feel like you should be able to just make a break for it. They can’t bite you through your sneakers and if you run hard enough none of them should be able to climb up your pants. The tough part is just finding out how widespread these things are. If they go on for too long then you will get tired and eventually die but if not, then you have a chance. A sequel would have been very interesting here.

Overall, The Kingdom of the Spiders makes for an intense thriller but ultimately it made too many mistakes to get a passing grade. Having better characters would have gone a very long way to be honest because then you’re more invested in seeing the characters do well and overcome the audience. Without that it just feels like you aren’t going to be quite as engaged with the whole adventure and I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone. It’s an interesting premise….but that’s not enough to save it.

Overall 2/10

Banjo-Kazooie Review

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You know that feeling when you see a really good sweater outside but when you turn it around to purchase you see that they just went a little too crazy on the design? That’s this game in a nutshell, the gameplay is actually really solid and a ton of effort was put into the game. Then….the game fumbles the ball in the end by adding the collectathon elements. I should note that no game absolutely needs to be a collectathon. In fact most would be better off without it.

So the game starts with Banjo’s sister being kidnapped by the evil witch Gruntilda. She surprisingly puts up a decent fight but ultimately it is not enough to win and so Banjo and his pal Kazooie have to go and rescue her. To do this they will have to find various puzzle pieces and musical notes to unlock doors in Gruntilda’s lair and get to the end. It won’t be easy by any means but they are ready to pull out the win and do what has to be done. Will they really be able to get past all of her traps though?

The writing for the game is pretty fun with Kazooie constantly picking fights and generally being the biggest jerk you’ve ever seen. I really like that about his character particularly because it’s something that you just don’t see a lot of in these classic platformers. Usually everyone is super nice which is intentional because platformers are supposed to be fairly heart warming stories for the masses. So adding a little wit here was a good idea and gradually more games would continue that approach. There’s a lot of solid dialogue throughout and the sound effects each character makes instead of voice acting was also intense.

The graphics are definitely really sharp here. The game looks nice and has aged really well. It reminds me a lot of Mario 64 in a good way right from the stage designs to the sound effects and everything. I actually think Banjo sounds like Mario. The game is ahead of its time in this area and the soundtrack is also pretty solid. There are a good variety of tracks to be found here and each one helps get you invested into the stage. It’s also helpful for the quiz at the end which asks you questions about which theme belongs to which stage. That quiz definitely doesn’t hold back with how difficult it is.

The core gameplay is a fairly basic 3D platformer. You run and jump as you clear challenges and get your puzzle pieces. You gradually learn new abilities in each world so you can get used to them and aren’t too overwhelmed at the start. You can become invincible, fly, shoot eggs, etc. It makes for a pretty well rounded experience since there is just so much that you can do and of course that means there is also a greater variety in the kinds of puzzles that the game can challenge you with. Finding some of the puzzles can really take you a long while as you figure out what the game wants you to do.

Now is where the game falters a bit though. Granted, I knew that the game was part collectathon but that’s fine because I was ready for this. On average I would get around 7/10 of the puzzle pieces in a world and I would get around 80/100 of the musical notes. Pretty good I must say, however before getting to the final boss I was blocked by a door that said I needed 94 puzzle pieces to unlock the final boss fight. Why? That’s an incredible amount of pieces, that means getting 10/10 in almost every world. For example there are 100 puzzle pieces in the entire game so you’re basically telling me to 100% the title. That’s not cool when you’re just trying to beat the game.

Collecting bonus stuff should unlock a post game cutscene or some kind of really cool bonus content. I don’t even care how awesome the bonus content is, lock that behind 100% and it’s totally legitimate. What is not cool is locking the main story ending behind it. It meant I had to go back to every world and spend a ton of time there. Then you also need to collect a ton of musical notes in each world to get to the final boss too and that was also rough. At least with the puzzle pieces you can grab them and go home. For the musical notes you always start at 0 when you enter the level so that means starting the collecting from scratch every time. Come onnnnnn.

So yeah this really hurt the game tremendously because that’s way too much replaying. A similar thing ended up hurting another N64 title I was playing but I’ll go more into that in the future. Banjo is a super polished game but the collecting gives it artificial length that it didn’t need. It holds the whole experience back because at first it was a whole lot of fun and then this happened and became more of a chore. You aren’t able to just enjoy the levels anymore, you have to find every secret and be careful not to die or you lose all your progress on the notes.

The final boss is definitely well designed though. It’s crazy hard with a ton of phases so it’s a nice reward for having gotten all of the pieces. Kudos to the folks who managed to beat it without access points because it’s extremely hard to dodge the attacks in the final phase. Gruntilda smashed my health points multiple times with that one and I probably had at least 60-70 game overs there. It almost felt like she would be predicting your movements when you would give her your back so facing her all of the time is definitely the best play. Slow and steady is literally the way to win this match.

Overall, Banjo-Kazooie is definitely a legendary game. It’s one that everyone still remembers to this day and for good reason. It does operate on a high level for most of its modes and campaign but ultimately having to go back to each level and get the collectibles took a lot of the wind out of its sails. Particularly with the massive hub world requiring a lot of running around and trying not to get lost. I’d still recommend checking this game out but don’t leave a world until you’ve 100% cleared it. It’ll save you time in the long run since leaving will cause the level to reset although granted some levels may be impossible initially if you don’t have the right power up so that could be another snag…..will see if the sequel keeps up this approach or lessens the restrictions a bit.

Overall 6/10

FLCL: Shoegaze Review

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Saddle up true believers because we’re about to talk about a show that’s real bad. It’s like the meme: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t familiar with your game. I knew you were bad, but wow!, you stink!” I mean FLCL is a series that typically ranges from horrible to terrible. The seasons keep on making the same mistakes over and over again. I don’t know how it has gotten this many seasons when the plot is basically the same every time. You’ll be shaking your head every minute or two, trust me on that.

So the show starts with wouldn’t you know it? A shy guy who’s never had any luck with girls named Masaki. He’s rather depressed because he can see ghosts that nobody else can and nobody likes him. He builds a bomb one day and decides he might use it someday but he is caught by the school delinquent, Harumi. She offers to help him blow everything up because she is certifiably insane. Masaki didn’t really want to blow anything up and is too timid to do something like that but she quite easily persuades him to do it. She’s as worldly as they come and enjoys using as much suggestive dialogue as possible. Can Masaki keep his cool under these conditions or is he doomed? Also what’s even the point of this?

Well, enter Kanda and Kana. Basically a lot of craziness is going around and Kanda is still trying to find Haruka and get to the bottom of this whole multiverse adventure. Somehow Masaki and Harumi are at the center of this all now and they have to find a way to use the steam engine and the metallica thing to stop the changes from occurring. Translation? They have no idea what they’re doing either and in this show the villains will never be defeated because they are never around anyway. What this means is that in every situation everyone’s always going to be panicking no matter what.

There is one good thing I can say about the show though and that’s that they only made 3 episodes. So it is really over before you know it which is really a good thing all around. That’s one of the shortest seasons you will ever see. The soundtrack is on the forgettable side though and the animation is okay but nothing special. It is worlds better than that odd previous season so I have to give some credit there though. The art at least makes sense this time which is massive. Definitely the way to go if you ask me.

Okay so back to the story. Why does this one fail so hard? A lot of it comes down to Harumi and how she is so crude all of the time for no reason. Her dialogue is as out there as possible and it’s all just to make Masaki squirm. Here’s the thing though, even if there is an in-universe reason for why she is talking like that, it doesn’t make the scenes any easier to get through. She’s trying way too hard the whole time with her suggestive lines and Masaki doesn’t even really call her out on it.

No, instead he just falls in love with her because the poor guy has finally found the one girl who will give him the time of day. That’s not heart warming, it’s just sad. It’s pretty tragic if you think about it because this should have been such a fun story about a girl who got him to believe in himself and all. What am I saying though, this is FLCL? That’s never how it goes down here. It’s always about the main girl just teasing the main guy over and over until he explodes and that eventually happens here as well. He lets the monster out and then the climax starts to come in hard and fast with the quick battle.

It’s less of a big battle than the original FLCL or some of the sequels though. So it’s actually a bit more low key than you might expect. I think this series is the kind where the fan theories will likely be infinitely more interesting than the show itself. Like it does seem to be some kind of multiverse thing going on here as each season is having the same kinds of things happen without a ton of rhyme or reason. Even if it is to set up a multiverse that isn’t going to help a ton though because we don’t have many likable characters or tings to look forward. Potentially you’re just delaying the end of the series which wouldn’t be a good thing.

Kanda is pretty useless the whole time he appears in the show but at least Kana looks reasonably well. She is forced to be a lackey for Harumi for most of the season which can be annoying though. Kana has been through a lot and you’d think as an adult she would be able to finally just have fun but it wasn’t in the cards for her. It’s a pretty raw deal in fact since she should be just living a normal life instead of having to get involved again. Although in a way her presence didn’t matter either way because the story would have mainly still happened in the same way.

The show suffers from being fairly aimless the whole time in general. This is the case with most FLCL seasons as well but it’s like the season is mainly slice of life as the characters climb up the tower but there isn’t much reason to actually go through with it. Masaki was upset for a while which is why he was thinking about being a terrorist but gets over it very quickly and meanwhile Harumi was basically just wanting to see the world burn the whole time. Even at just 3 episodes long that’s not enough of a plot to keep this going for too long. We don’t fully understand the effects this will have on the rest of the universe, much less on others.

We are 5 seasons in and we still don’t fully know the villains’ goals or even just how sentient they are. Are they just following their nature? We’ll likely never know because the show isn’t interested in actually explaining its plots. Keeping some mystery is fine of course to keep the crowd guessing but keeping all of it is just bad writing. You have to show something or it’s fair to say that you likely don’t even know what you’re doing which is my main theory here. I doubt the writers even fully know what they are setting up because it just isn’t that important to them. They are just enjoying the dynamic of the shy guy with the outgoing girl and want to use that over and over and over again. It’s a real shame.

Overall, FLCL delivers another stinker with this one. Stay far away folks, there is just no reason to really get excited about this one at all. It makes mistake upon mistake throughout each episode with no real strengths to back it up. The romance was basically nonexistent the whole time as well. I know they tried really hard with it by the end but it went way too fast and didn’t make sense anyway. You get the feeling that the main guy was way too inexperienced here and was just being pulled along for the ride. Not very romantic and this is not a show that would survive on its writing or action so it was doomed either way. You can absolutely make a great slice of life about climbing a tower or something dramatic like that but you do have to put in some work and keep every character interesting. This one did not do that. As one last positive, at least the poster is good. If you didn’t know any better it would look promising.

Overall 2/10

The Preacher’s Wife Review

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Uh oh, it’s time for another Christmas film that I’ve got some issues with. I’m talking serious issues here that definitely do take away from the film. It’s aiming to be a fairly wholesome experience but by the time I’m done with it you’ll see why this didn’t actually work. It’s a shame because the film had some real potential here but ended up fumbling the bag by the end and leaves you wishing that it could have managed to make it to its full potential. It really should have been the next big thing but ultimately it was not to be.

So the movie starts off by introducing us to Henry who is having a hard time as the pastor of his Church lately. Everything in his life is just falling apart, he feels like he can’t get his message across to the congregation anymore and some of the community are starting to get into trouble. One was accused of robbing a store at gunpoint, another is being taken away into a foster home, etc. He also hasn’t made any time for his wife in a long while. Just as things look like they’re about to break, an angel named Dudley appears. He says that he will help make everything better and yet…it seems as if he is after Henry’s wife. If Henry doesn’t move fast then his wife may be gone for good, but how do you stop an angel with unimaginable power?

The bulk of my complaints with the film are about the angel here. As an angel Dudley should be a very virtuous being, one without any real faults who is here to help. If I’m being extra technical he shouldn’t even be a human who died and then became an angel since all will rise up together but there are different theories on that so I can let it slide even if I don’t agree with it. But at the very least he shouldn’t still be interested in romance. I think the plot is partially to hype up Julia as being so attractive that even the divine want her which if that was the film’s intent could be funny but I think the film just seriously wanted a romance which makes no sense here.

The film really goes hard into this plot as they go out on dates and Dudley looks visibly upset when he has to go back to his mission of getting Henry and Julia to be together. One of the worst scenes is the very last one where Julia wants him to stay and he says how he has to go and the two are basically sobbing internally until the guy runs off. We absolutely did not need a final kiss scene there or for both characters to be so filled with regret. It should have been a full break with Dudley just running off. He really didn’t feel like an angel, he was written to be too much like some ordinary joe.

That’s probably the character he should have been written as then. Just make him a friendly ghost who decided he wants to help Henry out to get over the fact that he died early. It doesn’t change much of the plot but makes his flaws a little more understandable. It would still be bad since he is being a homewrecker of course but at least it’s not an angel doing that. That’s just such a crazy plot all the way around. Come onnnnnnnnnn.

I’m afraid Julia is partially to blame here as well. It takes two to tango after all and she’s still having fun dancing with him and doing all of this stuff. She’s even called out on it by her mother and admits that she is window shopping. Look, this is all behavior that is completely inappropriate once you’re married. I actually do believe that guys and girls can be friends which is something that would get you booed off of a lot of streets but it’s a real thing. You just have to know the boundaries. What are those? No 1 on 1 sit down lunch “meetups” because that’s basically a date, absolutely no dancing all right. Let’s not get crazy here. Ice skating together like that is a bad idea because it’ll probably involve a lot of contact, mountain climbing, etc. So yeah a lot of activities are out of bounds now but hey that’s the price of picking your one true love and getting married. You have to acknowledge that your personal life will never be the same. As bad as Henry was throughout the whole film, Julia still has to stay strong on her end as long as they are married.

As for Henry, he was practically begging Julia to cheat on him throughout the movie. He did every single taboo that typically causes this to happen in real life. Completely ignoring her every day, always being outside, not showing her any kind of romance, etc. Part of what makes Henry so bad here is that there is absolutely no excuse. He’s busy yes but he’s not so busy that he couldn’t have made time for her if he actually cared. Choosing to visit someone at the hospital instead of going on the date with her was egregious for multiple reasons. One is that he could have just brought her to the hospital with him and then at least they’re still together. That’s pretty obvious right? He also could have stayed to personally explain this to her instead of ghosting her. Henry finally could have not told Dudley to take her on a date in his place. Henry was just so annoying here and then he has a scene near the end of the film where she makes him a hot chocolate and he ignores her to head out.

Why was that scene so bad? Well, it’s near the end of the film, past the point where he’s supposed to have mostly learned his lesson already. So this scene showed me that he hasn’t learned a single thing. He’s still making the same mistakes over and over and over again. One area where this film was particularly weak even compared to the original is his big confrontation with Dudley about the guy going after his wife. Henry mostly just does a lot of whining here when I was expecting him to be a little fiercer and more direct. Maybe punch the guy out or something right?

The movie does have good humor from start to finish though with some solid writing throughout. You will laugh from time to time because the burns are quite sharp. Outside of the problematic stuff I wrote about above, it can be a pretty wholesome movie as well. It’s just that it’s really hard to overlook the stuff I mentioned. In fact I would say it’s impossible because that’s part of the main plot of the film. So yeah it’s one of those things where whether you like it or not, it’s a big factor and that’s a shame.

Overall, The Preacher’s Wife is a film with a decent plot but one that it doesn’t fully understand. It really wanted to have fun with the premise of the main guy getting so distracted by tons of random stuff that his marriage starts to fall apart. You can do a lot with that plot but having the angel be the one slowly encouraging the wife to cheat is a massive no no. There’s no way he would be doing this much flirting and leading on. He wouldn’t forget his mission like that and it’s a very distracting part of the film. There are good things to be found here but on the whole I would have to give this a thumbs down as a result.

Overall 4/10