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Audrey Rose Review

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This is one of those films that can only happen if all of the characters are as passive as possible. They are continually not standing up to the situation and so the things deteriorate. The film tends to be on the annoying side as several characters act really crazy but nobody really does anything about it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Bill had completely crashed out in the courtroom because to an extent it would have been justified.

The film starts off by introducing us to Bill and Janice who live a normal life with their daughter Ivy. Unfortunately a weird man has been stalking them for a while now and they quickly realize that he is mainly stalking their daughter Ivy. One day Janice is in a car crash so this man named Hoover takes the chance to meet with Ivy and then has dinner with the parents. He explains that he thinks Ivy is the reincarnated soul of his own daughter who died in a tragic car accident and so he intends to keep on meeting with Ivy. Bill says this is crazy but the cops can’t help since nobody has been hurt yet. Unfortunately Janice thinks that Hoover may be right and so Bill will not have to find a way to stop Hoover while also watching out for his own wife.

Janice is easily the most annoying character here because of how quick she was to believe Hoover. He starts talking crazy for a few minutes and she immediately thinks that he may be on to something. We learn that Ivy has had crazy episodes on her birthday for a long time now and this would track with the date that Hoover’s daughter died but that’s still a rather big stretch to go through here. Janice immediately ignores how weird it was to have Hoover following her for so long and even invites him up to her apartment to help Ivy through one of the episodes.

Hoover is able to help Ivy each time but this feels like an awful big chance considering his intentions. Also just letting a crazy guy into your house is basically asking for trouble. Then even after Hoover kidnaps Ivy to go to his place, Janice is quick to side with him here. She completely betrays Bill in court and does seem willing to let Hoover keep the kid. She really closed off any chance for her and Bill to come to terms here. They were just way too far apart and she gave up her kid too quickly.

Janice is panicking for most of the film so she doesn’t always make a lot of sense but she made all of the mistakes possible. I’d also say that Ivy looks pretty bad here since she is soundly defeated by the spirit of the other girl. She seems to have no mental defenses here as she crawls into fire and burns herself at several points just because the other girl forced her to. Can Ivy not fight on her own? I get that in these possession type of films that always tends to be the case but it can be annoying. In this film the opponent is another girl who was around the same age. This should not be as hard as usual.

As for Hoover, well the guy seems nutty from the start. He drank the Kool-Aid real fast and then didn’t choose the best way to make an impression on the family. In this film the whole reincarnation thing appears to be true so then he should have found a better way to break the news. The way he did it would make anyone think he was insane. Honestly the best way to get close would be to own a nearby business or become a teacher but that isn’t as easy as it looks. So in that case, rent a nearby room and try to be a good neighbor. Or just meet up with the family and talk rather than stalking. It would have been hard to have made a worst first impression.

As for Bill, he definitely doesn’t plan to be very agreeable right from the start of the film but I don’t blame him. This is his daughter we’re talking about and Hoover effectively wants to take her away or be a second parent. No way he could let that fly. Hoover also continually refers to Ivy as Janice’s daughter as well as his and leaves Bill out of this. Unfortunately Bill isn’t very strong and easily loses to Hoover in every confrontation.

It was not a good look there and it was also crazy that Bill forgot his own apartment has a back entrance that is unlocked. I know it was a tense moment but how do you forget that? I was definitely rooting for Bill in the court case. Yeah a lot of weird stuff was going on and perhaps Bill could have handled some things better but on the whole he was doing what he could. He was prioritizing his daughter which is the only choice that makes sense in this situation.

The film doesn’t even have a satisfying ending so that definitely ensured that this was not going to be a very positive film. You’ve got a mostly annoying cast of characters with a kid who has absolutely no idea what was going on and then you couldn’t even stick the landing. This is definitely not a film that will stand the test of time as I would say it hasn’t even aged well up to this point. It’s not particularly scary either, just more on the annoying side.

Overall, This is a film that I would recommend skipping. On the whole I’ve never been all into possession films and this one is no exception. Not even the courtroom scene could save it, although I was glad that it was there. It was nice to see the rest of the world a bit although I would have liked to have seen what the jury made of all this. I like to think that they all thought Hoover was super crazy but Janice turning sides would have definitely hurt the situation quite a bit. It would have all been more interesting than the main plot. A good ending could have at least helped things out but ultimately there was to be no saving grace for this film.

Overall 3/10

And Soon The Darkness Review

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It’s time for a film that really reminds you to follow common sense and to be careful when travelling in a strange land. There are all kinds of things that can go wrong when you’re in unfamiliar territory after all and that becomes apparent very quickly. Unfortunately the film is going to rather extreme methods to point this out and the film quickly ends up going for the low hanging fruit here. Certainly one relying on cheap tension to keep you at the edge of your seat and so that’s not going to be a winning strategy.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jane and Cathy who are biking across France. They don’t really speak much French but this seemed like a fun way to spend the holidays. Unfortunately Cathy wants to take a break in the middle of nowhere and the two were already off the beaten path. Jane points out what a terrible idea this is as it will be dark out pretty soon but Cathy doesn’t care and goes back to sleep. Jane is forced to go on without her and sure enough, Cathy vanishes and is presumed dead. Jane doesn’t want to give up on her but night is approaching soon and a mysterious guy keeps on following her. This feels like trouble.

I am going to blame Cathy for a lot of this right from the start because she was being completely unreasonable. You can’t just decide to go to sleep when the place is already dangerous. That doesn’t make any sense and she resists all of Jane’s efforts to make her get up. So when Jane eventually leaves I could not blame her because staying there would have just resulted in both of them being dead. Yeah leaving your friend is always rough but it’s not like Jane could physically force her to get up. That would be an even fight at best and then you have to drive both of them with the bikes.

Cathy also didn’t seem to have much of a sense for danger with how she was encouraging the weird stalker throughout the opening. You probably want to be keeping your distance at that point instead of thinking about how cool he looked. So yeah she played every part of this as badly as possible and definitely made Jane’s life a whole lot harder.

As for Jane, she was a good friend the whole time. She went out of her way to try and help Cathy by taking a lot of risks and doubling back to find her. Jane would have been all the way to safety immediately if she hadn’t had to go back. Jane also studied so she knows at least a little bit of French which helps out. It may not be enough to speak the language but she can tell when a translator is lying about what is going on at least. Ultimately she was much sharper about her surroundings and wouldn’t make anything easy for the villain.

As for the mysterious guy, Paul, well he definitely does a terrible job of trying to look normal. He tends to be very quiet for large parts of the film and when he speaks it is always to say something that just makes him look more suspicious. I can’t forget how he asked Jane if she wanted to search deep in the woods with him during their first real conversation. That’s something only a possible serial killer would say right? Throughout the film we learn about how he’s lying to her on several occasions and in the past another woman was murdered around this spot.

The film very much enjoys its misdirects and twists but does so in a very low effort way. Basically it makes people act very suspiciously and in ways that do not make sense in order to help trick the audience. So it’s basically cheating by that point and will have you shaking your head. There is a very small cast here so you’ll probably see through it pretty quickly but it doesn’t help make the experience any better.

Meanwhile of course the film would immediately not be satisfied with just murdering the heroes and so the threat is very quickly escalated into being more than that. So now as the audience you have to hope that even if Jean dies, at least it’s quick because the motive for the villain is going to be rough. It’s what I would call cheap tension here. The film isn’t confident that it can actually make you nervous on the basis of the writing or characters so it has to add on extra elements.

The villain gets away with a bit too much here and I definitely wouldn’t have minded missing out on the details. Even the climax of the film has to go on with this rather than just having a quick fight. Yeah this movie was definitely doomed and it’s a very dreary affair. There aren’t many lighthearted moments ere at all and the film’s pacing isn’t always great. They don’t translate any of the dialogue in order to help you experience how lost the main heroine is. I understand the goal here narratively but it also means there are just more scenes that are effectively gibberish.

The film will also probably hit harder for people who have ever been tempted to do something like this. Biking across the country as a way to explore the unknown does not interest me in the slightest. It’s not something I would ever want to do and even if it was guaranteed to be safe, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Overall, This is one of those films that definitely feels rather mean spirited. It’s definitely collecting all the things that can go wrong if you wander into the wrong area but you don’t really need a whole film about that. A simple disappearance or getting lost in an unknown territory could make for a good suspense film. Once you add in the threats of being assaulted by creeps and other elements like that, then it just feels like one of those cheap thrillers you might come across on TV. It’s not a film that is seriously trying to impress you with a good message or anything like that. I would definitely say to avoid this one as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

The Gex Collection Review

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Gex is one of those series that I was not overly familiar with before playing the collection. I knew about him in a vague kind of way but I can’t say that I knew the story behind the games or even the gameplay. Well, now I got to play through the trilogy and it is definitely an example of a game series that has aged well. The first game is definitely the weakest since it’s in 2D, but as soon as it went over to 3D, it was off to the races.

The first game is your classic platformer, only there is an extra objective. You have to find various TV remotes in order to clear each level until you make it to the end. If you finish the level without it, then you don’t unlock the next level and in a way all you’ve done is waste your time there. So you don’t want to let that happen. They aren’t that hard to find once you’re really looking for them but if you don’t know about this objective, you will probably waste a little time when you complete the level the first time.

It’s a pretty quick game all around though. It doesn’t take you very long to beat all of the main levels. There is a bonus world at the end which does take more time since those levels intentionally go crazy. I ended up going through them for the Platinum trophy but otherwise they aren’t quite as fun. I enjoy a good 2D platformer as much as the next guy but it’s just not as satisfying as playing in 3D. You aren’t able to rush on through and do what you want because there are always pitfalls to watch out for. There is also a bit less of a story in this one as the original. So all in all it’s fun, and certainly brings in a good challenge but it doesn’t hold pace with the next ones.

The second game is where things really kick it off. Gex is called back into the TV worlds to beat his arch nemesis and we get our first look at the 3D environments. They’re definitely quite a bit of fun and feel like something out of Mario 64. You have different worlds which each have multiple remotes to obtain. So you will be completing each world several times until you’ve really gotten the knack for it. You need to complete most of the missions in order to reach the final boss, but not every one. So if there’s a mission you don’t like, you can just skip it.

The gameplay is smooth and without any real issues so you’re able to just enjoy it. The game is much easier than the first but that is pretty hard to avoid with the 3D environment. The jumping and tail spinning are both mechanics that are handled really well. You will be moving with purpose the whole time and the only tricky thing can be the camera at different points.

The game continues with Gex’s smooth sense of humor and boundless confidence. He’s always got something to say about everything. The lines do run out early on so you will be hearing the same tunes quite a few times, but that’s fine. It’s still better to have reused lines than to not have voice acting in the first place after all. It’s all about that balance.

Then we have the third game which changes up the flow quite a bit. Gex has gone from being ultra confident to being a very pleading guy as he begs for the attention of a girl who’s been kidnapped. She enjoys making fun of him while waiting to be rescued and it’s definitely a real crazy dynamic. That being said, the gameplay is still really solid here. The game is even easier than the second one as there are even less levels that you need to play through in order to unlock the final boss. You can skip a great chunk of them and so I had to go out of my way to at least get to play one level in each world. The war level is probably the best one in the game. It’s definitely a lot of fun and shows how the game could really tackle different genres.

Control wise it’s basically the same as the second game so it really stayed consistent there. I’d definitely have no real complaints on this end. So the Gex Collection was definitely solid and the graphics have aged well. The art style works and everything is very clear. Additionally, the soundtrack isn’t bad although it could use a few more all timers. The tunes we have here are good, but I doubt you will be remember any of them a few years from now.

The only weakness is that the third game’s story is not able to hold on as well as the others. The nonstop flirting between Gex and the captive gets old quick and the game is leaning a bit too hard on the fanservice angle here. I would argue it even makes Gex look a little out of character since he was always in control for the first two games and suddenly he is ultra desperate in this one. It may be hard for you to be a fan of the guy by the time this one ends.

There isn’t a ton of replay value here because the Platinum trophy is very easy to obtain. I got it upon beating the third game and so your game’s length will really be based purely on the story modes. Fortunately, that’s the advantage of being a collection. You’ve already got 3 games lined up here and clearing them all will still take some time. Between the three of them you’re probably looking at around 10-12 hours or so and that’s definitely not bad. The games are all individually fun as well so this won’t feel like a bad purchase. I’d definitely say to check it out when you have some time.

Overall, Gex is definitely a fun character and the collection ended up working out pretty well. I’d definitely recommend this to anyone who is looking for a solid platforming experience. The story in the third game can definitely be a bit of a weak point as it’s rare for a video game to be relying on fanservice but as long as you can get around that you will be okay. I think the series would definitely do well with a modern reboot someday although we’ll have to see if that’s in the cards. For the most part this does feel like a forgotten series all the way through.

Overall 7/10

Mr. Driller 2 Review

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I’m not really familiar with the Mr. Driller series so it was pretty interesting to be getting into this one. It’s a very short game but does have voice acting which is pretty cool. Basically an alien race has shown up and is causing trouble with their weird blocks. The hero has apparently had to give them a talking to once before. He will have to do so again before the entire planet is crushed by all of these blocks. Fortunately the aliens are not directly malicious, they are just ultra careless. So finding them is the only challenge.

The hero is nice enough. I like how he did not hesitate when deciding to go over there to talk to the aliens. He talks about saving the world in a very nonchalant manner so from the very start you know that he is the real deal. The game reminds me a little of DK Bonanza in that you are going through a bunch of layers and can see what level you are on as you play through the game. There are 3 main levels here and in each of them you have to keep going as far as you can. One level goes down to 2500 feet, then the others are 5,000 and 10,000.

The graphics for the game are pretty solid. It feels like a modern take on Dig Dug and the various blocks all look solid. Think of the intensity from Tetris and that’s what you’ve got here. You are always at the edge of your seat and the game never holds anything back. Additionally the soundtrack isn’t bad so the technical elements are good. A mild game design choice that didn’t work was how it is very easy to start the game on the second level rather than the first. I accidentally beat America first because that’s where your cursor starts. Level one is all the way at the end of the map for some reason.

Odd choice there but it’s not a big deal. The game is definitely hard because you have to continually dig deeper underground while dodging the falling blocks. In a way you have to be calculating a whole lot of things at once. You want to grab the air bottles which restore 20 points to your life bar which is constantly draining. Breaking through any wood blocks automatically takes away 20 points and the air is constantly surrounded by those. So you have to cause a bunch of matches below those in order to get the blocks to fall just right. It’s a really involved process.

I died a bunch of times and the rough part here is with how long the levels are. So if you die, that’s a lot of replaying that you have to do. Perhaps that is why there are only 3 levels but in that case the game would have been better off increasing the level count and just making each individual one smaller. That is always better game design to me because then there isn’t too much disappointment in defeat and you can continue to hone your skills until you are finally a match to go all the way. That’s the best way to improve if you ask me.

What keeps the game from going any further is ultimately that length so hopefully it’s something that can improve with a sequel. There’s a lot to like here, like having the actual story mode and the fun gameplay. It’s just that I would have absolutely not been thrilled if I had spent any money on the game. That would have really felt like a waste. Since I played it for free, that’s a different story but I still couldn’t give the game a higher score. It’s worth about an hour’s worth of content and you’ll have fun for that hour but that’s it.

Overall, Mr. Driller is a pretty fun game but it could have used more content. Once you have beaten the 3 levels, there isn’t a whole lot to do. You can try to beat them quicker and with a high score but the amount of replay value here is ultimately low. The story had a little charm to it but mainly this is something that is content to be aimed at kids. So ultimately this won’t be changing your life, not nearly as much as you might be hoping that it would. Still, the game is free if you have the Nintendo Switch Online so you should check it out. The gameplay is original and I can’t stop giving it props for the fact that they actually got voice acting in here. That was really cool.

Overall 5/10

Pokemon Go Update

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The game had their big level realignment the other day and so I got to see my level transform into Level 70. The requirements didn’t look too bad for the next level though so I dashed and now I’m level 71!

The next level will take a little longer although I’m not expecting it to be too crazy so hopefully that update will be sooner than later. In general I don’t expect to be level 80 for quite a very long time though.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare Review

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This game has been one of those titles that I’ve had my eye on for decades now. I owned the first two after all so I would need to play the third one too. Unfortunately the gameplay’s been overhauled quite a bit for this one so it’s not quite as solid as the first two, but it’s still a good addition. I like the way they use clips from the show and then new cutscenes to really build the narrative here. The game is longer and even a bit harder than you might have expected as well. So you really have to go in with both eyes open and then hope for the best.

The game has 4 episodes here. The first one deals with the dinosaur war, the second has you taking on Bishop and is goonsquad, and the third one pits you against the Shredder! The final episode brings you up against a monster mutant and you’re in actual nightmares so it makes sense within the title. The final episode really amps up the difficulty although it has less chapters than the other episodes and over half of them have no cutscenes so it’s a lot emptier to compensate for that. There are also a lot of side levels you can do to grind for energy points and buy upgrades.

The upgrades are rather important here because they’re how you learn how to extend your combos as well as hold more scrolls. Scrolls can increase your base state like health and attack power as well as give you other kind of benefits. The health/damage increases are your best bets though. They can make you a real monster out there. I didn’t bother collecting a whole lot of scrolls on my way to the top so I really had to change that as I went through.

A pretty cool thing about the game is that all 4 turtles are fighting at once here. It’s not like the other games where you maybe have 2. The computer also controls them well so they aren’t just there to make you look bad or anything like that. Now, don’t expect them to be amazing. You’ll still have to do most of the work but they actively contribute which is all that I can really ask for here. Usually it feels like the A.I. just stands around in these kinds of games.

I would recommend maxing out your standard attack combo as soon as possible. The combos are level gated so it will take a little while but it’s the best way to go in. Until you have maxed out a combo, your attacks will just stop midway which makes it easy to hit you. So you are going to need to watch out for that. Damage adds up fast in this game so even the foot soldiers will take you out if you’re not careful. Never be afraid to turn back and regroup for a while.

You can use commands to help instruct the other 3 turtles during combat and you can also use super attacks. I never really understood how to do the inputs for the energy ball but the other attacks went easily enough. I ended up choosing Raphael as my character but I didn’t realize he would end up being one of the weakest. Technically I would recommend you pick Leonardo if you ever buy this game. His special attack and general moveset are just so much better than Raphael’s.

The graphics for the game have aged pretty well. The levels look sharp and there are quite a lot of character models. You can feel that the game got a pretty good budget here. Additionally the soundtrack is also classic so I have no issues here. This is a game that is just a lot of fun to play through all the way. Even when you run into a setback, it doesn’t take long to go and train to come back for the rematch. It’s the beauty of shorter levels since it is only when they are very long that you dread having to redo things.

There is some replay value here although I wouldn’t say a ton. You can search for the CDs and Scrolls in each level so that you can say you’ve beaten the game with 100% clear rate. That’s certainly not easy but it is doable. If you pay attention during your initial run, you can probably get over half of them naturally, maybe even 80%. They will help you for the final bosses (The scrolls at least) so that is something to keep in mind.

There are also some bonus modes like time attack and score attack. They each only have one level but every bit of extra content was nice to see. The game definitely went above and beyond when it needed to. So why did I not like the gameplay as much? Well, it’s more about minigames and less time was spent on the combat. You have levels on the hoverboards, first person levels with the shuriken, and also hangglider levels.

For the beat em up sections, often times you can skip all the enemies and just run to the goal. Sometimes you have to fight though and when fighting you’ll quickly notice that it’s very slippery. You end up just running past your enemy when trying to combo him or you will land the blows and they don’t have a lot of oomph to them. It feels more arcade style than the last two and just a bit watered down. Not terrible or anything but the combat just used to be noticeably better which means this is naturally going to lag behind the other two by a bit.

Overall, Mutant Nightmare is still a good game. I’m glad to have finally gotten a chance to play it after all these years. It’s definitely been waiting, that’s for sure. The difficulty will probably survive folks who were expecting a walk in the park and so I would definitely recommend checking this one out. It has aged pretty well and it’s also so nostalgic to go back to the Gamecube days. You do not want to miss out on this one!

Overall 6/10

Mario & Wario Review

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It is always a shame when you have a pretty solid game that is really ruined by a single aspect of it. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened here. The game has solid graphics and an interesting level system but alas the controls are just dreadful. They actually make the Wii Remote look good in comparison! Trust me, you’re going to be feeling rather down about the whole thing by the time you’re done. Still, this was the first new Mario game I’ve played in quite a while so that was pretty cool.

The game lets you choose between Mario, Yoshi, and Peach. Naturally I had to go with Peach because she doesn’t get many chances to shine, but also because her walking speed is slower. That is actually very important in this game because the character is always moving. How it works is that Wario has thrown a bucket over the hero’s head and so you play as a fairy who has to keep the road clear. You will tap on blocks to summon them in front of the player or attack enemies who would have been in the way otherwise. This takes a lot of precision timing and you have to react quickly. So when the player is slower, it ends up helping out a lot.

There isn’t really a plot beyond that unfortunately. There are 10 worlds here and each world has around 10 levels in it So that’s a lot of levels but they tend to be very quick. Most levels you can beat in around 2 minutes or so. The levels start to become more like puzzles once you get deeper into them though. In World 10 there were several times where I just didn’t know where to go. That’s rather impressive in a game like this where there are only a limited amount of actions you can take.

You really have to memorize how high the springs will send you here for example. Otherwise you won’t reach the target or you will go way past it. So it’s definitely something to chew on a bit there. You can use the fairy to reverse Peach’s direction as well which will be key in the final levels. You have to do this a whole lot and with quick timing to avoid the various traps. I can tell you this, without the rewind feature this would have really been a very difficult game to complete.

The artstyle is pretty fun and has definitely aged well. It’s something that Nintendo in particular has done really well over the years. The soundtrack also isn’t bad. It’s not extremely good or anything like that but the main tune doesn’t get too tiring even after hearing it for a large chunk of the game. It’s clear that some real thought was put into the game and that’s why it is a shame that the controls are no good. The gameplay itself is fine. It’s all about pointing and clicking but I have no problems with that.

No, where the problem lies is in the controller itself. To play this game on the Switch Online you need to use the Joypad and then convert it into mouse mode. Nobody wants to use mouse mode. I don’t even know why this is a thing in the first place. Sometimes Nintendo just develops new gimmicks for no real reason. It has really hurt this game and it will hurt others if it continues to be a mandatory style of playing.

There is some replay value here as you don’t have to clear every level to get to the final one. If you go back and do them all, you unlock a final boss level. So you may want to do that to see how the story really ends. Ultimately I just couldn’t get past the controls to do that though. They are really draining the whole time and so you don’t get a whole lot of enjoyment out of them. You’ll die quite a few times even when you know exactly what to do because the controller just isn’t listening to you. Those are always the worst ways to go out and you’ll be left just shaking your head.

Overall, Mario & Wario may have finally arrived on modern consoles but unfortunately it should have been left to history rather than return in this form. It tarnishes the Mario brand and ends up being a waste even with Wario being the big villain. This is the kind of game that could desperately use some kind of high budget remake. I think there are many ways they could improve upon the source material without drastically changing things. It could be a worthy puzzle rival to Mario vs DK. In the meantime though, this is the kind of game you’ll want to skip. If you have the Switch Online then you may as well check it out for free but otherwise I certainly wouldn’t spend any money on it.

Overall 3/10

Fire Emblem Shadows Review

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I finally got around to trying out the new Fire Emblem game that Nintendo launched for mobile. On one hand I applaud them for finally bringing a new mobile title into the fray. It feels like it has certainly been a while. On the other hand….did they really have to force in more gimmicks? This would have been such a fun title if it was traditional Fire Emblem and instead they try to make it like Among Us and it doesn’t really work with this style. Ultimately this one won’t be a keeper for me.

The general story is pretty par for the course when it comes to Fire Emblem. A kingdom is overthrown and so the prince has to escape along with his trusty bodyguard. He meets up with two girls who seem nice enough, but then they find out that one of the 4 of them is an imposter. Who can it be? Well, the first time it’s the chipper girl with red hair, the next time it’s the other girl with black hair, and then it’s the main character! The last one ends up being a dream though and now you’re back to a full party. The prince needs to gather a lot of powerful allies and then bring his kingdom back to power. Can he pull this off?

To be clear, while the plot is rather straight forward, I still enjoyed it. Mainly due to the character designs being nice and colorful and the game having good presentation. The audio is good, the soundtrack is solid, and the writing is on point. So the story isn’t the problem here, its the gameplay. Think of this as a semi auto tactical game. The characters move on their own and attack on their own. You control the special abilities like healing and energy blasts. In any matchup there are 3 heroes, only one of those 3 is actually a villain.

If you’re playing as the hero, you want to hurry up and beat the enemies and then afterwards there is a guessing round to see who the villain is. So you’ve got a 50/50 shot no matter what. If you guess right, you gain 1 auto revive for when the battle with the traitor starts. Then if you win that battle, you win. The immediate problem here is that the deck is stacked in favor of the traitor. The traitor can destroy you with around 2 moves as soon as the battle begins.

All attacks are anonymous but you can probably guess who the traitor is based on who isn’t hit right? Wrong! The main strategy is for the traitor to knock everyone out, then there is no way to tell who it was. Then in the second round, you can get a revive but it won’t stack since you just died. So you will die to the traitor anyway. I’m told that as you progress through the game you will get power ups and armor that prevent the game from being so one sided but the gameplay design itself feels flawed to me.

On one hand, I like how quick the rounds are. You can play a few rounds very quickly. On the other hand, it’s just too automated for me. I’d rather move the character myself and then set up the traps as I go. Having the system do the movement for me just takes away the fun out of a whole chunk here. It’s just barely Fire Emblem at that point. Nintendo really can’t resist going along with gimmicks here and unfortunately it did not land. I feel like Nintendo has been missing a whole lot more than usual lately.

Outside of the gameplay, the title is really strong in the other areas. It just doesn’t matter enough because at the end of the day, you’re here for the gameplay right? That will always be the most important part of a gaming experience after all because without that, you won’t be able to continue. In very extreme circumstances the story might be so good you can force your way through bad gameplay but that is exceptionally rare. The flip side of that is certainly way more common.

Overall, Fire Emblem Shadows is certainly a fresh experiment by Nintendo and I wish it the best but this game is just not for me. Sometimes you can tell right away if the game fits your style and the opposite is true as well. I feel like the series is big enough where I can see this one being really successful so maybe they can use some of the revenue to make a movie r something. It’s long past due for Fire Emblem to really get more kinds of media. The game is free on the app store so you should probably give it a shot. It certainly can’t hurt and maybe you’ll like it more than I did.

Overall 4/10

The Rage: Carrie 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the return of Carrie. Unfortunately this film is definitely no good and tries too hard to be like the first one which is not a good idea. The only real amusing part here is that the main character looks like a debater that I’ve seen on Youtube a handful of times, but that’s really it. This one just embraces being real mean spirited the whole time and never actually gets good. The whole climax also revolves around the main character not really being very smart.

The film focuses around a girl named Rachel who isn’t a super big people person. She tends to be very goth and her best friend is the most social one. Unfortunately her friend destroys herself after being used by her boyfriend. Most of the guys in this school are unfortunately bad people as they keep score of who they get with and it’s all a game. Unfortunately they all tend to have high scores so there is a lack of morals on both sides. To be clear though, the guys get more blame on this for starting such a terrible game in the first place.

One guy in the group named Jesse begins to like Rachel so he tells the others to back off but they don’t plan on stopping. Rachel’s friend may have taken a photo of the two of them together before she passed and so now they want to scare Rachel into submission before she does something that can ruin their chances of winning the big football game. So they aim to take her down but what they don’t realize is that she has supernatural powers capable of slaughtering an entire town. Will Rachel be able to stop these guys?

That is ultimately the main problem here, this is just a slightly altered version of Carrie. Initially Rachel isn’t the one being bullied, but that ends up happening to her anyway. There is one person who is sympathetic to her (Jesse) but he isn’t in a position to help anyway. It just follows the first film to a T and it’s not like that one got a particularly good score. This one proceeds to double down though like randomly having Rachel’s dog get hit by a car. She’s also brought up by two abusive foster parents who don’t even pretend to like her, they just like the money that comes in for looking after her.

Another problem which I alluded to in the beginning is that the film relies on Rachel not having any common sense. Lets look at the series of events her. Rachel’s best friend dies, all of the guys start to bully and terrify her constantly. Suddenly, all the cool girls in school who never liked Rachel invite her to a big party and all the guys will be there to apologize. Why would Rachel honestly think this is on the up and up? It’s probably the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen.

That sounds like a good way to be vanished if we’re being honest here. Going to a rowdy school party after hours where there will be no supervision? Yeah that’s a bad idea. Even if on the off chance they were being legit, that would not be enough reason to go. You’re just asking for trouble at that point. Alas, it goes about as you would expect as they mess with her for a while until she is eventually able to take them down. It just takes way too long for her to get these abilities activated.

The whole humiliation scene as they put her on the big screen and everybody’s laughing just reminds you how none of the characters are likable. They’ve all got to go and so you’re not particularly upset when Rachel starts destroying everyone. Yeah, not all of the kids were super guilty in there. While I doubt any of them were all that good, just hanging around a bad crowd doesn’t mean you deserve the death penalty. It’s particularly rough for the lady who was trying to reunite Rachel with her mother because she gets taken out without even being able to say anything. The actual mother also looks pretty bad but she was literally crazy so I guess that’s to be expected.

The film would have just been so much better if Rachel could actively use her powers and it could have been framed as a foil to what happened with Carrie. Rachel would instead be ready to do what she needed to do. Also I’m not really going to let Jesse off the hook here. I’m glad that he would defend Rachel but it doesn’t change the fact that he hung out with such a terrible group of people for so long. I would also say he needed to break things off with the other girl much more officially and obviously he shouldn’t go to her house where she is going to try some things.

He put himself in all of the worst positions and also came off as naive when he started falling for what the bullies were selling as well. As someone more or less on the inside he definitely should have sensed that this was a trap. He gets off easier than the rest, albeit he will have to live with daily jump scares. That’s just the price of surviving an evet like this.

The ending is rather weak though. As far as jump scares go, it may be one of the weakest that I’ve seen. Seriously there is just nothing impressive about it and barely even works as a twist ending. So it’s ultimately a pretty pointless moment. They may as well have brought back the comedic music from when the mother escaped the asylum.

The film isn’t too violent for the most part but it certainly makes up for lost time with the ending. That part gets extremely violent for the entire duration of the scene. So you’ll want to watch out for that. Mix that in with some fanserivce from all the affairs for the game the guys were plying and this was really a recipe for disaster. The film goes out of its way to make everyone super unlikable and it really succeeds. Even most of the adults ultimately fall before the power of bribes and politics. It really makes for a jaded experience.

Overall, I recommend skipping this one unless you really don’t mind sitting through an intensely mean spirited film. Everything that could go wrong for Rachel certainly did here and ultimately it’s not like the ending helps her out either. We do get a big twist (That you might have gotten spoiled on from the opening scene) that helps to explain the powers but it’s not like that does anything to save the experience for you. This needed to be a superhero origin story or something to have at least given you some hope for future installments.

Overall 1/10

House of the Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

House of the Dead is one of those films that’s very infamous. It doesn’t have a whole lot of big defenders to be honest. Mostly it just gets a lot of mocking and you can see why. The film is definitely not taking things very seriously and some aspects like the music are definitely not general audience friendly. Ultimately it is a bad film but I dare say it does manage to defeat the average horror flick.

The movie starts with someone reminiscing about how things were before all of his friends were murdered. We then flash back to the actual movie which is always a very annoying way to start a movie. Why even let us know that one of the characters is going to live through this? Well, there’s a big rave taking place on the island of the dead but a few teenagers were running late so they missed the boat. They’re forced to pay an extremely high price to hitch a ride with the only boat left in town. The captain’s first mate isn’t particularly nice and the captain is certainly not making things easy but this party is a once in a lifetime event. The problem is when they get there, all of the people are gone. Instead there are only hordes of zombies. Can the heroes manage to take them down??

You may be wondering what happened to the house. Well, that appears near the end of the film but really this should have been called the Island of the Dead. Most of the film is really about them trying to survive on that island while they are attacked by endless rounds of zombies. The heroes fortunately are able to get their hands on guns and other weapons with which to defend themselves. It’s really the only way to fight back and they manage to get pretty good at using them.

Where the film is probably going to lose some people is when it becomes a full on action. Once the heroes get their weapons, this very quickly stops being a horror film and quickly leans into the action all the way. We get a ton of slow mo scenes and a very extended fight where the heroes are shredding all of the zombies. I didn’t have a problem with the length but the slow motion effect does get old rather quickly. The long fight is still the best part of the film though. I’ll take an action over a horror any day after all. There is a little plot armor in how the humans are faring so well here though.

The film is very inconsistent about how physically strong the zombies are as well as their speed. It all appears to just be at the level that it needs to be for the scene. The scene transitions are also a bit too random with all of the video game clips randomly showing up. It could have been fun once or twice but it happens very frequently with no real rhyme or reason to it. Definitely not the way to go here.

Meanwhile the soundtrack is actually very good for most of the film. There is a lot of good rock themes as well as just generally fast tunes which really fit in well with all of the fighting. That’s something that has actually aged really well so I appreciated that. The visuals can be rather hit or miss but I did enjoy the choreography for the battles. One character actually knows martial arts and gets to pummel several characters that way.

While most of the characters are annoying teenagers, I did really enjoy the boat captain. He was at least trying to make sense of what was going on here and also didn’t show any fear. He was particularly impressive in his very first encounter with a zombie because he just casually shot it while still smoking his cigarette. That takes a lot of guts right there. He was also the reason the others even had weapons with which to fight the zombies so without him they would have all been dead very quickly.

I also enjoyed the policewoman because she was smart enough to put aside her beef with the captain to fight against the zombies. I know some lesser characters who wouldn’t have adapted like that. She did really well in her fights as well and ultimately only got held back by the others and the ammo starting to run low. It does make sense that with all of the shooting they were doing, they would eventually run out of bullets.

This film didn’t really need a main villain though. An endless horde of zombies is already scary enough right? Well, we do get a mastermind at the end and he even gets an origin story. The scenes just make everyone else look bad because there is one moment where he goads a guard into getting close enough to destroy him. Whenever someone loses to a guy who is fully chained up, I’m going to have some problems there.

There also isn’t much to this villain. He just craves violence and got immortality. It’s not like he has any kind of a master plan or anything. He just does whatever he wants and that’s not exactly a recipe for success. He does put up a good fight in the end but it’s barely even a consolation because he should have won that fight. Losing just makes him look even less impressive.

Naturally it goes without saying as a zombie film that this one can be pretty violent. You have a ton of characters getting slashed and destroyed during the mayhem. So if you’re not big on all of that then this would be a reason to stay away. It might have slightly more restraint than other zombie films as it doesn’t usually dwell on the deaths but yeah the violence is still at a high level here.

Overall, This film had some good ideas but could not land the execution. While I enjoyed some of the adult characters like the captain and the policewoman, there was nothing good to be said about the teens. The fact that some of them didn’t even care when the rave was empty just shows that they aren’t the smartest characters in the bunch. Any semblance of romance here just feels obligatory as none of the characters seem mature enough for it and they take too long to get serious about this. Of course if you’re planning to go to a Rave on an island in the middle of nowhere, I’d argue that your moral compass may already be in a rather dicey spot. You should only check this film out if you reallllly like zombie fighting and even then you will have to sit through a bit of a slow first half before the zombies even appear.

Overall 3/10