Category Archives: 3 Star Movies

Eyewitness Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Eyewitness has a fairly interesting premise but it’s one that is bogged down by a very weak character cast and has a tough time getting to the point of it all. It also ended up introducing a dog character into the mix and you know how that tends to go. So on the whole you’re going to want to avoid this one, it’s just not the big win that you’ll have been hoping for.

The movie starts out with Daryll working on his janitor’s job as usual. He tries to convince the bosses to let his friend back onto the job but they say no as he was apparently disrespectful back in the day. It’s easy to believe this because his friend Joseph is not the nicest camper out there. The guy is always complaining and getting himself into trouble borrowing money from loansharks and things like that. One day he even breaks back into the building to talk with Daryll. The very next day Mr. Long is murdered and naturally Daryll figures that Joseph may have done it.

He does decide to hide the fact that Joseph was in the building to protect his friend but then he finds out that his favorite reporter Toni is involved in the mix. Daryll decides to pretend that he knows more than he does so that he can go out with her and Toni really wants a big scoop so she agrees to this. Meanwhile the killer is watching and planning their next move. Is Joseph really the culprit or is it someone else? Either way Daryll is now right in the crosshairs of danger.

Right from the start you can probably see how I had a problem with some of these characters. Lets start off with Daryll. So he is completely obsessed with Toni to the point where he flirts endlessly and makes a fool of himself. He messes up the interview as he keeps on talking about her and just strings her along for a while. Keep in mind that at the moment he’s in a relationship with Joseph’s sister as well. They don’t care for each other much but he should still wrap that up before starting anything else.

Daryll just feels incredibly desperate the whole time and it’s too much. I won’t blame him too much for withholding information about his friend to the detectives since it did look incriminating and he wasn’t sure if Joseph did anything but any scene with Toni was just bad for his character. Even by the end I can’t say that I ever warmed up to the character.

Likewise Toni doesn’t look good here for falling into this romance. Of course from her end she is just doing it for the story and doesn’t even like him initially but that’s barely even a consolation by that point. It doesn’t speak well to her morals to be willing to go this far for a scoop. I don’t care how good the story is, you just don’t want to be going that far for it. Then you have Joseph who isn’t likable at all. Lets even take him breaking back into the job away for a second. He didn’t have any malicious intent there.

Punching Daryll was completely uncalled for and same with his outbursts upon finding out that Daryll liked someone else. He then proceeded to borrow a ton of money from loansharks on some really suspect deals. That tells me he also isn’t very smart here. He creates a lot of trouble for himself the whole time and this ends up spilling over to Daryll as well. When you bring other people down with you that’s never a good thing.

The most interesting part of the film is the one that doesn’t get brought up a lot. So the villains are basically transporting people out of dangerous zones and into the U.S. They had been working with Long and a number of other gangs to do this. Effectively working with the enemy to get their own goals across. Typically they avoided having to murder anyone but Long’s group tried changing the bargain so they were dealt with quickly. So the main villains here had a pretty interesting goal and not one that was overtly sinister. There’s a lot that could have been built on this but it’s not a factor for most of the film and is just very brief.

Also, as mentioned earlier we do have some animal violence which is a big no no here. As soon as the dog appeared I got worried and clearly that was for good reason. it just rarely ends well when you have a dog in a thriller and there’s just no purpose to the scene. You could have had the effect of the villains showing Daryll they were serious by skipping to the part where the villain breaks into his house. That would have absolutely still gotten the message across without things going off the rails here. A dog dying will never enhance a film and can only hurt it. That’s the message more film makers need to hear.

Also, the film could have given the detectives more of a role. I thought they were actually interesting but then they miss out on almost the entire thing. By the time they act the film is basically ending so there was not a lot of time to do anything. They talked tough and had a decent dynamic going but the film really just wasted these characters. Could have been a really engaging subplot if they got more to do.

Overall, Eyewitness is a film that could have been a lot better at least from the general premise. You need the main character to be a lot better though. Have Daryll be someone who just wants to be famous which is why he’s dragging this out as opposed to it all being for romance. You also shouldn’t have included the dog in it at all. Without that then this film would really have potential. There were some interesting themes that could have been expanded on. Ah well, maybe for another film. If you want a thriller about crime, check out Clue instead.

Overall 3/10

Get Out Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Get Out is a horror film that you must have heard of at some point or another because of big it was. The film was everywhere and got a pretty good reputation. I ended up seeing Us first and now I can finally compare the two of them. In a lot of ways Us is the more interesting and suspenseful film with all of the alternate universe rumblings and supernatural things going around but this one has stronger fundamentals and the characters at least have some battle tactics.

The film starts with Chris and Rose heading over to meet her family. He’s not thrilled about this but she says it’ll be fine. Unfortunately her family all seem to be a little nutty and Chris feels like the odd man out. He does his best to hang in there but the timing is very unfortunate. See, the family’s having a whole big reunion/birthday party so everyone’s in town and that’ll make it more difficult to leave. The whole setup seems rather odd so should Chris leave or try to stick it out?

You’ll get a Twilight Zone vibe right away here as everyone is just a bit off. You don’t have any way of knowing exactly what is wrong with them until the film goes into its twists but from the start something is off and that alone should be enough to get you intrigued into what’s going on. Now part of the setup here is that Chris is black and heading into an area that’s pretty much all white so he’s worried that everyone’s going to be racist. I think this aspect could have been toned down somewhat but it’s a major part of the film’s setup to the point where it can’t really be overlooked.

That’s part of what gives Chris a red flag about this whole thing. The film also opens with a cop randomly asking for his ID to just to ram that point home. Of course in the process Chris seems to reveal his own racial biases as one of the things that makes him suspicious is that the only other 2 black people around don’t talk or dress in a black way. There’s a bit of an irony throughout the film that the family all have racial assumptions towards him and Chris has them right back towards the white family members. His best friend Rod is usually the mouthpiece for these guesses so even when all of the characters are being polite on the surface they are all thinking their true thoughts when they’re separate.

Don’t want to get caught up in the weeds here for too long but I guess in a way the film’s trying to show a big divide here from both sides as everyone in the film seems to be thinking along those lines. Because it all ends up canceling out like that, that’s why this whole element could have been a more subtle one rather than being a big plot that doesn’t really go very far. Ironically only the big villain at the end seems to not care about all of that…or at least so he claims. I guess it’s hard to say from a very brief scene.

With all of this extra tension in the mix, Chris really never had a chance of getting along with the family. I don’t think he was particularly concerned about that either and just wants to go but unfortunately his phone goes dead early on. Too bad the charger wasn’t in the mix for a while. (Must have been on really low battery to go dead that quickly though) It’s a little convenient but I appreciate the film actually addressing this in a unique way so I’ll give it credit there. In the end Chris is a good character but I do think he gets taken out way too easily.

The scene where he sits down and gets crushed by Missy was a bit hard to buy though. I don’t believe in instant hypnosis like that and particularly not when you’re already prepared for it. We can allow for some supernatural elements here of course since this is a horror title but either way you may roll your eyes for an instant. Everything went down for Chris as soon as he went outside and got intimidated by the gardener, was spotted by the maid, and then ran inside to get beaten up (hypnotically) by Missy. Going outside definitely wasn’t worth it but I’m sure they would have come up with some excuse to get him even if he had stayed in his room.

The real hero here was Rod who really did his best to check up on Chris. He did not let that guy down and pursued every lead he could. Rod had a lot of determination here and really had to do a lot of research in order to find the place. I was glad that he wasn’t just all talk or anything like that and that’s why he was a stand out character for me. He is also quick on the uptake like when he told Chris that maybe there was some mind control going on here.

This was Chris’ worst scene as he immediately discarded the theory as a joke but this was after he had already been mind controlled once. Wait a minute…….why not believe this theory then? I remember that really stood out to me because it was a reasonable idea. Finally there’s Rose of course as the main heroine. Too bad she happened to pick the big family gathering day to bring Chris over but apparently it slipped her mind. She’s definitely a big presence in the film for sure.

Of course there’s not a lot more to say without getting into spoiler territory here. The film definitely goes all out with the twists and those really shake up the whole film. A good twist goes a long way and I thought this one was handled really well. It’s definitely not the twist I originally thought it was so they did good with the setup there and in hindsight this also makes sense and explains a lot of what happened earlier.

So when comparing it to Us how does this stack up? Well, Us has the more interesting storyline here. Parallel worlds and all of that? Easy slam dunk and of course it wins in the soundtrack and visuals department. We also have more fights there which is nice. Where Get Out has the advantage is it’s more of a subtle title with the violence. I thought Us was a bit gratuitous with how the neighbors were murdered. Get Out has its share of action but is considerably less violent because none of that really starts happening until the final 15 minutes. Until then it’s a horror where the threat is implied rather than shown. Us might have more replay value but Get Out makes for the better initial watch. I wouldn’t consider either one to be a particularly impressive horror title. They’re a little above average (Average horror film is closer to a 2) but that’s about it.

The ending of the movie’s definitely solid and a good way to close things out here. Get Out tells a complete story although you could definitely turn this into a whole franchise if you wanted to. After all if the twists are more widespread then we know, it could easily be the perfect setup to an action sequel. You could also do a prequel I suppose but I can’t say that would be super interesting. We already have the general understanding of how this all started after all so you want a new story after that. If they ever tie this in with the Us film then that could be a fun crossover. I feel like it should be possible too.

Overall, Get Out doesn’t really play out like a typical horror film but in the end that’s pretty much what it all boils down to in terms of quality. The character cast isn’t bad as the good guys are pretty decent although the villains are more on the “eh” side. There are some moments where Chris could have handled things better but I wouldn’t say he ever made a choice that was really bad. He was just in a tough situation from the jump. I think a sequel could be interesting but no matter how you slice it, this would probably be more of a thriller than a horror. If you want to check this kind of vibe out I would recommend the classic Twilight Zone episodes. Those really nailed down the creepy atmosphere this film is going for.

Overall 3/10

Burnt Offerings Review

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Burnt Offerings is a film where the story was cooked a little too much and so it all drags on quite a bit. The characters have virtually no willpower so the house is able to give them the hands right away. At no point do you think the main characters stand any kind of a chance here and that’s an issue. How can you possibly root for the characters when they’re all so unlikable? The movie makes a lot of mistakes and barely stumbles to the end.

The movie starts with the main characters getting ready to rent out a house for a while. It’s summer and the time for relaxation and adventure. They find a large house that looks like a bit of a fixer upper but the owners are nice enough. They say cryptic stuff about the house looking after itself and that it’ll look good soon but the main characters don’t mind. The place is super cheap, even suspiciously so you could say. Still the owners say that it’s a deal and then vanish. Only one elderly lady will be staying with the family but she never leaves her room so she shouldn’t be much of a bother. Well the characters have their house but they all start acting rather oddly right away. Should they leave before it’s too late?

Now the haunted house genre isn’t anything new. We’ve had haunted houses for as long as I can remember. The real issue with this one is how fast is effects them. Usually it might take a few hours or something for this to go through but instead it’s nearly immediate. Ben goes crazy first as he tries to drown his son Davey but ends up being foiled before it’s too late. Then Marian gets really serious about this house to the point of yelling at Davey about it. Finally the grandmother starts feeling really tired all of the time. The only common element is the house and yet nobody really wants to leave it.

It’s all just way too fast. Do these guys not have a single oz of willpower within them at all? That would have solved this issue right off the bat since they could have escaped. You probably suspect how things will play out right from the jump but that doesn’t mean the series couldn’t have just thrown us a curve ball somewhere along the way. Instead they just get possessed as if this is the ghost busters and are overwhelmed at all times. As a result there is no time to find any of the characters likable since they all seem so unhinged.

Ben never recovers from the opening scene. He probably should have gone to greater lengths to make sure they all left the house. Maybe even burn it down as a last resort. The ending is frustrating in that sense as Marian ignores them all to dash in the house. Honestly at that point you probably just need to keep going. At the very least you need some semblance of reaction times. One thing that hurts Ben at the end is that he’s impossibly slow. Seriously the guy can’t move an inch when it counts and that really comes back to bite him. If he could move an inch then that would have helped him out a bit.

Meanwhile Marian is no better as she is quickly absorbed by the house. She never makes the right decisions as a result and yells at Davey for minor things. She also doesn’t stick up for the grandmother at all and just leaves her feeling underappreciated the whole time. Marian ends up allowing the danger to become real each time she strengthens the house. The grandmother is a little less responsible for the bad things that happen. She at least tries to resist the whole being sleepy thing but the other characters don’t exactly help her out in this. Anyone would have cracked eventually.

Davey is reasonable enough the whole time but probably should have also encouraged them to leave the house after the crazy events kept on happening. By the end, running for the hills would have been best. He’s rather young so he wouldn’t get far but that would have helped a bit to at least escape the immediate area. The only winners here are really the two owners of the house who knew what was going to happen but stayed quiet. They ended up being rather talented masterminds the whole time.

I do enjoy the idea of a house that feeds off of the owners in order to look great every Summer but the characters should have been able to resist a little better. At least make the house work for the victory instead of surrendering immediately and making everything so easy. That’s the worst part of it all, this is incredibly easy for the house. I doubt it even broke a sweat messing with these guys. The visions they get aren’t even that scary. Ben keeps seeing a guy with a cap driving around in a black limo? Okay….not too scary for him.

The context is a bit hard to follow and we have to assume he was being scared because of a previous inhabitant’s feelings but he should be able to overpower that, at least a little. The fact that he couldn’t do anything about it was the worst. Marian never even seemed to try with this either. For what it’s worth, Ben still got a few scenes where he was upset. Marian seemed positively thrilled the entire time. Nothing would dampen her mood at all and she didn’t even stop to think twice about why the phones wouldn’t work for Ben but worked when she grabbed it.

At best I can say that Burnt Offerings did have some decent visuals. I thought it illustrated how the house would visibly change really well. I wonder if they shot images of a different house or had to set everything up with physical props. Either way that was effective and the film does have a rather ominous atmosphere at times. So at the very least this did have that horror feeling and the writing was also decent. It may not have been out of this world but the characters all talked in reasonable ways and I liked this style of writing. It’s not enough to overcome the film’s flaws but at least it’s something.

Overall, Burnt Offerings really skips a whole part of the movie that should have existed where we see the main characters resisting the mansion’s influence. By not having that, it makes it seem like the heroes have no self control. They just joined the darkness immediately. None of them are pro active about changing the situation even though it’s clear that this has all happened after moving into the house. They should have left straight away. By not doing so, it can feel like the film has stalled out at times. Always a risk with a slow burner type like this one. I’d recommend checking out a different Haunted House film instead for a better experience.

Overall 3/10

Us Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Us is a film about knowing how to play the matchups. Depending on your opponent you should absolutely be careful on if you attack or defend. The film has a pretty interesting premise which definitely has a lot more potential than most horror films although I wouldn’t say that it makes the most of this. Either way there’s a lot going on here with several points where you’d think it is the climax and the movie just keeps on going so you should get your fill of scares and intense moments.

The film starts off with a flashback where Addy ends up straying from the common path and goes to a mirror house by herself. She ends up being so scared that she could not talk for a long while and got fully traumatized. We then cut to the present where she is happily married and has a family with her husband Gabe and their two kids. Naturally Gabe is thrilled to be heading back to the summer house. It just so happens that this is the area where Addy had gone missing in the mirror house for a bit so she isn’t thrilled to be here. Weird things start to happen but it all comes to a head when a family appears in their front yard who appear to be alternate versions of the main 4. Who are these 4 and can Addy protect her family against them?

Like I said the film is more interesting than most horror titles so that is a plus here. The idea of a mirror world of doppelgangers running around is a classic for sure but you tend to see that more in a sci-fi or action setting. It’s more rare for a film like this and it makes the villains more interesting because in a way they are the main characters, just twisted versions of themselves.

I also thought the film had really good technical elements. The visuals during the flashback are very good as the storm is realistic and I liked the mirror house. I also thought that the music that played during the opening credits was really good. Throughout the movie there was a lot of fun music themes that had a very eerie feel to them. You knew that something was not quite right the whole time. I can’t say that all of the songs were a hit, typically the lyrical ones weren’t quite as solid but the spooky themes were on point.

So those are mainly the strengths of the film. For the weaknesses you do have the usual excessive violence that comes with the territory. You would not be out of place calling this one a slasher by the end. In particular the most violent scene here was definitely with the neighbors. Their deaths are the most violent by far and while they were meant to be rather annoying characters, it seemed a bit much. Particularly as the one who got it the worst off was the nicest one who at least tried talking to Addy normally.

If you cut that sequence of scenes out I would say the film would be noticeably less violent as a result. One technique that backfired was how course the main villain’s voice was. I guess it’s supposed to be spooky or creepy but it could just be a little hard to hear her and she also spoke so slowly that you would wait for her to get to the point. I also thought it was a missed opportunity that none of the others could talk since we could have had some interesting conversations otherwise.

The main characters do have quite a bit of plot armor though. You’ll quickly notice that the villains murder everyone else immediately but with the main characters they tend to just be beating up on them the whole time which ultimately tends to come back to bite them. Otherwise the main characters definitely should have died several times over in this film. Plot armor comes with the territory a lot of the time but it just felt more glaring here than in other titles.

Now lets talk about the biggest mistake the characters make and that’s that they don’t play the matchup well at all. So from the start we have the villains out in the front yard. I thought Gabe handled this well at first, warning them and then grabbing the baseball bat as the heroes called the cops. Where things did not go well is when he decides to try and keep the door shut while holding his baseball bat. A baseball bat is an offensive weapon so when you pick that up you have to be prepared to use it. Hide behind the door or on the other side and swing. You can’t be pushing while holding onto the bat because then you can’t use it. What ends up happening is you are now putting yourself in double danger here for no reason.

It backfires and Gave is injured for the rest of the film as a result. It gets worse once we have the face off with the 4 on 4 setup. While I liked the idea that they were setting up for a bunch of 1 on 1 fights as if this was a Shonen Jump or Comic Book movie, the heroes let the villains have the initiative all the way. For starters you should never let yourself get tied up. There’s no winning there so Addy should have refused and tried to fight. Then each hero is chased off by their evil counterpart for 1 on 1 fights where none of them seem to have a real chance of winning. Aside from plot armor they all should have died in those encounters.

We do get a random guy who looks pretty bad here as he approaches the alternate Zora though. Look if it’s the dead of night and there’s someone on your car with a giant knife you probably shouldn’t just walk over there right? You’d think he would have handled that a little better but he didn’t and got wrecked for it. So the whole time I was just thinking that the characters played the matchup horribly. They lost their homefield advantage and never took the initiative in the fight.

As the film goes on Addy gets more and more used to combat though and takes quite a few of the villains out. Ultimately she was quite impressive there. Addy works well as the main character. She grows more and more unhinged as the film goes on but never loses sight of her goal to protect the family and ends up being a really solid lead. Gabe is also a solid character. It’s a bit annoying with how he got injured early on and didn’t really get to fight despite talking so tough but he still takes out his share of enemies. He’s a fun guy and tends to see the bright side of things. I thought he did well as the other lead.

Zora may not be as impressive as the main 2 but she does ultimately join in on the action and realizes that everyone needs to help. She does well with her weapon and once she is armed she ends up being on guard for the whole film. Jason’s more on the annoying side. He gets his big moment and all but he’s just a little too young to help out in most of the scenes so I think it might have helped if they could have aged him up just a little.

As for the villains, most of them are mindless aside from the main one. The main villain is interesting and I thought she did well in her role. She wastes too much time gloating but of course that’s something that most villains do so I wouldn’t take a lot of points off for that or anything. She’s a solid fighter and did well to plan things out long-term. Ultimately that’s the kind of main villain you want to see.

The neighbors were mainly just annoying so not much to say about them. The wife at least seemed reasonable but the husband and the two kids were just jerks for no reason the whole time. The way the film ends you could definitely run it back with some sequels or just imagine how it plays out in your head. Each way works out well enough since there’s just so much you can do with this. Of course that goes back to what I was talking about with the film not reaching its full potential. I’d love to see how the rest of the world is handling this. The small scenes we get with the recording are some of the most interesting scenes in the film.

Now this might be a hot take but for horrors and mysteries the first half will usually always beat the climax. It’s more applicable for long running titles but the less you know, the more engaged you are. Once you start finding out the answers it inevitably won’t be able to match the suspense you were feeling in the first half or the theories you already had in mind. So if you were to have a bunch of sequels then Us may start to lose some of that mystery but there’s so much content that I think we can pull this off for a while. Lets see the big battles between the humans and the alternates and then play things out from there. Well, next it’s time to talk about some of the spoilers to give my take on all of this. Skip the next six paragraphs if you haven’t watched the film yet because it’s about to get real spoilery over here. The twist was also set up very well with a lot of moments that tie in to the outcome. Now I may have a few qualms with specific character moments relating to the twist but you can’t say that it came out of nowhere. It’s better to experience the twist normally which is why I gave this really long warning first.

Okay so it turns out that there are a whole bunch of clones that exist in the mirror dimension. A long time ago, someone tried creating clones of everyone with a new soul but they failed and so instead you had an empty body with half of a soul. This caused the clones to be tethered to the originals. They all live in an abandoned subway/facility looking place where they are forced to mimic the actions of the originals. The film does a great job of illustrating how this works with the clones bumping into walls and everything as they mindlessly follow the actions. They have no free will but do seem to have a conscious so they know what is happening but are powerless to stop it.

In a way it’s quite the dark fate for these guys. Well, one day someone cut the strings so to speak on one clone, the clone of Addy. She was then able to trade places with the real one and escaped back to the real world. At this point the human Addy had to pretend to still be doing the same things as a clone but of course she did have free will. Down the road she was able to break the curse on the others and they all went to enact revenge on the Earth which brings us to the current scenes. It’s a very interesting backstory here and one that should leave you with some more questions and interpretations.

So how I see it, the film is hinting at a higher power cutting the strings here. I’d say that a god created a second Earth effectively that’s in a different dimension which mirrors the first but for some reason this failed. He decided to give them one chance at a rebellion and did so by releasing reverse Addy. Throughout the film we see references to Jeremiah 11-11 which says: “Therefore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them.”. So the film seems to be implying that this is the evil that is coming upon the land to destroy the humans. Quite the dark twist of events.

It can always be a mixed feeling incorporating elements of the Bible into a film like this where it’s into the realms of fantasy and may end up trying to give people the wrong idea but I like to think of it as the film acknowledging that the Bible is still the most influential book of all time and that even those who don’t believe in it will recognize an element from it. It’s also a quick way to hint at what’s happening without launching into a whole lot of exposition.

So yeah that’s why I think in this film a god was behind reverse Abby’s ability to make a move. Otherwise it shouldn’t have been possible to capture Addy since she can only mirror moves and not do her own. From there I’m guessing the clones aim to destroy all of humanity so they will replace us as the originals. It’s an interesting idea but I like to think we wouldn’t go down without a fight so that’s where the sequel would come in. From what we saw the humans have been getting wrecked so I really would have liked to have seen some other humans as well. I can’t believe that every human lost to their counterpart, cmon now. That’s not happening.

Considering that the Addy we saw for most of the film was actually the other version I do think that in hindsight she should have reacted a little differently in the confrontations. As mentioned earlier, that’s my one small thing that pops out after the twist. The twist itself makes sense, no doubt about that but in that case would she really be surrendering so quickly and be afraid of these guys? Addy was determined enough to make a move back in the origins and would do anything to make sure she doesn’t go back to the mirror world so with that in mind I feel like it would play out differently. Of course, she was a kif at the time so this may just be her personality. It’s a lot to think about and you could even go in circles at times but that’s why the twist was so effective.

So that’s it for the spoilers. You’ll have fun theory crafting while watching the film for sure. In the end the only main issue I had with the film aside from the violence would be that it could be a little dragged out at times. Like I mentioned, the film covers a lot which is good but other times it feels like the movie’s being a little overdramatic and you’re just waiting for the next scene. One such moment is when the two kids go in the house to save Addy. The music starts so you’re ready to roll but then they walk up the stairs at an extremely slow pace, look back a few times, grab some objects, keep walking, etc. It feels like ages to get up the stairs and there are other scenes like that where it takes a little too long to build up the suspense. It’s probably worth the trade off as the long length lets you do a lot of other things including actually having a real climactic battle at the end but some scenes definitely could have been trimmed.

Overall, Us is very interesting and that’s why there’s so much to talk about here. It’s a film with a unique premise that you don’t typically see in horror. If you just toned down the violence then this would jump up quite a bit. I could also go with the alternate versions being a little more intelligent so we could have some conversations but to a point that would turn this into a completely different movie. If you’re up for an intense film then this one could be up your alley but ultimately I would have to recommend you check out Crisis on Two Earths instead for another look at how to deal with alternate versions. It always brings up a lot of interesting questions to think about for sure and while there is none planned that I know of, I hope the film does get a sequel.

Overall 3/10

The Intruder Review

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The Intruder is almost like a return to form for horror titles. You’ve got the very unlikable main cast, the insane villain who just openly goes around taking people out, and nobody decides to just leave. What you end up with is a film that will have you annoyed at the main characters and it never gets to the point where you would call it a good movie. So this one ends up just losing out.

The movie starts out with Scott and Annie deciding to buy a house. They are fairly well off and could have stayed in the city but Annie just wanted somewhere quieter to start raising a family. While Scott isn’t too impressed with the first house they see, Annie likes it so they end up buying it. Unfortunately the previous owner Charlie doesn’t seem thrilled about this. He keeps on showing up unannounced and acts like it is still his house. He is openly antagonistic towards Scott and acts overly familiar to Annie. Initially this is just something that irritates Scott but then he starts to realize that this guy may actually be dangerous. Now what can he do about it?

It’s always rough when you don’t go with your gut because then you end up regretting everything. From the start Scott realized that this didn’t seem like a very good idea but he went with it because Annie really liked the place. Charlie started with the insults early on too but Scott figured he could power through it. The issue is that Charlie is always around while Scott is back in the city all day so he is rarely at home. This already puts Scott at a disadvantage in making sure Annie is okay.

Then unfortunately we find out that Scott has also made some massive mistakes in the past like cheating on Annie. You’d think he would really be on his best behavior now but then he also starts flirting with the cashier at the ice cream parlor. Why would you even do that? His excuses were really weak at this point in time because Annie was right that his dialogue was way over the top. Further, it seems like he was about to cheat on her again but fortunately she called him in time.

So the film goes out of its way to make Scott look bad here and naturally this ends up making it all the easier for Charlie to move in. It’s still no excuse for how oblivious Annie is though. She seems to not notice at all how Charlie is acting towards her and her excuses about it aren’t very good either. She says that he’s very lonely and everything so they should just let him keep showing up like this. Even if you feel bad for someone, that’s not an excuse to just have them be showing up all the time.

There are even some cases where she is the one making the situation worse like when he shows up with pizza or to talk about the lights. Charlie’s about to leave when she calls him back so they can hang out. I know she’s still in the “just being friendly” stage but it’s still a really bad idea no matter how you slice it. She doesn’t know him at all and Scott’s not around. Seems like an unnecessary risk to me. Both Scott and Annie can never have a reasonable discussion about any of this either since there is just too much ammo flying all over the place.

It’s why the movie has them making these mistakes in the first place since it evens out and then they can’t really talk about the other. I found that to be a bit lazy though. As for Charlie, he could have been better if they just focused on the “he’s insane!!” part. Have him initially start out as someone who is harmless and just wants his house but gradually gets more sinister as the main characters act more aggressively in banning him from the house. Then you have the intruder aspect and things get serious.

Instead the film starts to focus more on how Annie is Charlie’s goal and as soon as the villain’s motivation goes there you know that it’s all over. That kind of villain’s always going to be just plain awful in the end and Charlie’s no exception. The dynamic could have been so much better otherwise but they blew it when that happened.

The main characters have a friend named Mike but he’s just awful as well. Keep in mind that Scott and Annie just bought this place. It’s a super big house with tons of bathrooms and the guy still feels the need to go all over the backyard. That’s just completely unnecessary and the same goes for dropping cigarette butts all over the place and extinguishing the fire on nearby plants. It’s like Mike’s going out of his way to ruin the place. It’s portrayed more that he’s just not very smart and tends to be crude but it is so exaggerated. Any scene with him in it was pretty awful.

At least The Intruder does have a lot of jump scares though. Charlie is always running around inside of the thunder flashes so you know that he’s watching. The characters never notice but you like to think that they would if they were more on edge. Charlie is always a few steps ahead of them so the one time the heroes have him on the defensive you wish they could do more about it. For example, at one point they stab him and he hits the ground hard. You’ve got 3 options here, restrain him, keep stabbing him, or drop the weapon and tend to your wounds while giving the guy your back.

Naturally they choose option 3. Look, if someone’s broken into your house and he’s clearly dangerous and armed, option 2 is the best bet here. Make sure you’ve put him down for good and keep it moving. Instead in every horror film it feels like the characters think 1 stab will be enough somehow so they clearly haven’t watched the news enough. These characters really did not handle any of this very well and the examples will just keep coming as you watch the movie.

I won’t even bring up how Mike could have done better since we’ve established that he’s just not very bright. Would have been nice if he could have at least remembered to pick up his cell phone and dial as soon as he saw Charlie though instead of making a lot of noise and running. I also blame Scott for falling asleep. By this point he knows how big the danger is so he should be calling the cops and doing a number of things instead of leaving it all to Mike. Going even further back, why did Annie go home at all? By this point it’s patently obvious that Charlie’s out to get them so letting her go home alone while he will be stuck in the hospital for another day doesn’t make any sense.

Overall, The Intruder will show you how to mishandle a situation every step of the way. From buying the house where the owner runs around with a shotgun and insults you right away, to splitting up and not taking anything seriously, these characters don’t make it easy on themselves. With a better villain this could have ended up being a better film but it just wasn’t to be. Ultimately I would give a hard pass to this one. While the end credits have a very stylistic approach which is nice and the ending to Scott’s character arc was handled differently than what I would have expected, I wouldn’t say there is any reason to recommend this film. The only good part about it is that the atmospheric horror can be good at times. Lots of solid visuals and jump scare moments but that’s not enough to recommend an entire movie. Everything else holds it back.

Overall 3/10

Gaslight (1944) Review

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Time for the next adaption of Gaslight. I was certainly not all that impressed with the first one and this title is only marginally better. Many of the same negatives from the first film reappear in this one. I’ll give this title credit for having what’s effectively a 30-40 minute prologue added in before we see the first scene of the original film readapted here. It adds some more context but also backfires. More on that later on.

Paula’s aunt was murdered one day which frightened everyone and so Paula was sent away for a while. We cut to the present where she has met up with a guy named Gregory and intends to marry him. It’s all going well until he says that he wants to move to London, the exact area where the aunt was murdered. Paula has done her best to get over this incident for many years and so she figures that she is ready to handle this. Unfortunately things begin to get misplaced and Gregory is always attacking her now that they are married. Will she be able to escape or will she fall for every trick over and over again?

So here’s why the whole extended origin fails here. We actually see how Paula’s life was quite happy and how she met Gregory. Right from the jump she should have said no to moving to the London squares…but fine she says that she’s over it so we can roll with that. Here’s where things get dicey. When she finds the letter with a mysterious name on it, Gregory snaps at her and immediately starts yelling and acting like the main villain. We’re still in the prologue here so the old film hasn’t started yet.

Right away Paula needed to have called him out here. She can’t just take that and let a bad precedence start. Then in the next scene we have Gregory casually mentioning that Paula tends to be a very forgetful person. Paula just accepts this for some reason when she should have quickly said no. The gaslighting here is so obvious and tactless that you’ll be shaking your head the whole time. It all happens so fast and since we’re actually seeing it this time, you have a hard time believing any of it. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense.

Paula isn’t nearly as broken as the first character by this point but it’s like her personality does a 180 as she was so confident and self assured but suddenly becomes extremely timid. It’s disappointing because she could have done so well and is instead faltering immediately. The rest of the movie gets worse and worse for her as Gregory just keeps on manipulating and humiliating her in front of everyone. If only she had signed the documents saying that she keeps all of the money because then she could have dashed out or something.

Regardless it would have been nice if she had gone outside more to talk to people and figure out what is going on. She’s rich to an extent and should easily be able to think of some things that can help. Hire some detectives or do something pro active to find out about the letter and why Gregory has changed so suddenly. She should have helped hire the maids and if anything she should have fired Nancy once she sensed how much antagonism was there.

One of the biggest problems with the film is that Paula’s barely a character. She just stands there and takes everything that Gregory throws at her. You wish she would do anything but instead she always ends up disappointing you. Finally there’s one area where she is worse than in the previous version. It’s near the end of the film when Brian is around to help her but everyone dashes off as Gregory shows up. In the first film she seems to actually think that it might have been a dream and starts to crack. In this one it seems like she panics at the thought of Gregory being against her and so she quickly tried to throw the other maid under the bus. I thought that was an extremely petty moment and it definitely made her look bad. That’s the kind of mistake that you can’t afford to make.

Of course Gregory’s a pretty awful villain too. The guy isn’t exactly subtle with all the noise he makes when trying to find the jewels. I wouldn’t even say that he’s a very smart villain because the whole plan revolves around Paula being easily manipulated and not able to do anything for herself. If Paula had talked to the nice next door neighbor or anyone then this could have all been avoided. Any scene with Gregory in it tends to be annoying for sure.

Nancy is also not a very nice maid. You’d think she would respect Paula as the head mistress more but unfortunately she is quickly able to sense the heroine’s weakness and pounces. The other maid was nice enough though and at least tried to look out for Paula. Then you have Brian who is doing his best to solve this case as soon as possible. The guy is dedicated and I’ll give him points for making a real effort here. In the end the guy took a very long time but he still helped save the day. The result is really what counts here.

The suspense for disbelief is just too much though. I like my main characters to be confident and self assured. Even if you are going to be a wallflower then I expect you to trust your own judgment and step up when the going gets tough. If Paula had gotten tough even once then that would have helped the film a great deal. The extended run time gives her more character but it almost doesn’t matter since it doesn’t change her actions later on. She still falls into all of the same holes so that whole intro may as well have not even happened at all.

Overall, Gaslight is a film that I have to give a full thumbs down too. The character cast isn’t quite interesting enough to counter all of the suspense for disbelief you have to go through. The old lady seemed nice enough but in the end she barely got to appear at all so I’m not even sure what the point of her character was. This adaption certainly added a whole lot of elements but since they didn’t change anything, they may as well have kept it the same. The movie beats the original but as I said earlier, it doesn’t do enough to make this a good movie. It’s still one that I would give a thumbs down to in the end. You’ll want to avoid this one for sure.

Overall 3/10

Picnic at Hanging Rock Review

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Picnic at Hanging Rock takes the term “Slow Burner” to a whole new level. It feels like nothing is happening for the majority of the movie which does end up hurting the experience. Ultimately the biggest issue here is that the movie is quite boring for most of its run which is too bad since if it leaned more into the supernatural angle then this could have been a little more exciting. It doesn’t quite go in that direction though and the odd vibes the film gives off is not enough to keep it afloat.

The film starts off with the girls at a private school getting ready for their field trip. They are going to Hanging Rock this time and are instructed not to get too close or wander off from the group. Naturally they decide to go up there anyway or at least a group of them do. At first they make it fairly far up the mountain without an issue and are even dominating the mazes. One of them is complaining the whole time but the others pay no heed. Just as it’s almost time to go back, they appear to get brainwashed by some kind of supernatural entity which forces them up while one of the girls ends up running back home. There is no trace of the girls except for one who is found later on. What happened to them and how will the school stay running?

The film is definitely going for one of those unsolvable mystery type angles. Even as a concept I don’t think that will usually work out well for a film though. It pretty much guarantees that the film won’t have much of an ending which is concerning. It’s also going to rarely be very satisfying as is the case here. I wouldn’t say you’re necessarily too invested in the film as it is but it makes the whole thing feel even emptier. A huge part of the film is in trying to locate the missing girls and find out what happened but at the end of the day there were really no answers to be found here.

Of course I would say it was definitely supernatural and the mountain itself based on how it’s presented here. We get a lot of ominous shots with the mountain glaring at everyone and it explains why the girls suddenly got so dazed. There’s always a lot of ominous music as well which works well for the scenes. One thing I will say for the film is that it does a good job of making a lot of the scenes feel odd and sinister. That’s definitely pretty impressive of the film. The problem is that it’s hard to hold this kind of atmosphere for very long without something happening. The film pulls it off for the opening segments of the film but then that’s it. The rest of the film goes back into slice of life territory that just isn’t entertaining.

While it’s always debatable whether it’s worse to be boring or to be bad, everyone can agree that a film wants to avoid both of those options. If this movie had just been more entertaining that could have helped a lot. Mrs. Applewood is probably the most entertaining character because of how she is so transparent in how she only cares for the school. If there is any human antagonist in the film, it would have to be her. She’s even saddened when they find one of the girls because she thinks this will mean even more bad publicity. You don’t get a villain more obvious than that here but she really goes all in on the role. There’s never any doubt.

A lot of the characters here are the main kids who are hardly that entertaining. Albert is a kid who’s a bad influence to Michael and is just around to cause trouble. He just lazes about and doesn’t do anything except watch the girls. Michael may not do much for a while but at least once they disappear he does his best to find them. He even has a trippy dream of sorts and never loses hope that he will find them someday. I’ll give him credit there since that’s more effort than most of the characters were putting into this.

In general the town did their best though. We get quite a few scenes of the townsfolk all launching searches and investigations into what is happening and to find the girls. While none of them is successful you can’t fault those guys for a lack of trying. There were quite a few investigations but when the supernatural is at work it’s not like any of that ever could succeed. Even the girls who do return are hardly much help since they don’t seem to remember much of anything.

Edith for example is still complaining when the grownups bring her back up the mountain to try and describe what’s happening. It’s why Edith has to be my least favorite character here. Lives are at stake and she’s complaining about being tired and sleepy. That’s just super selfish on her part. She doesn’t seem to have any sympathy towards the other kids who are missing which is a shame.

Then you have Irma is found and she really seems to be in a daze the whole time too. She doesn’t know much of what happened and is really quiet even during her goodbye scene until the class tackle her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s traumatized after the events on the mountain and has a much better reason to be stunned than Edith that’s for sure. Still, it would have been nice if she could have remembered more and clued the characters in. That would have at least given us something to go on.

Miss. Lumley is probably the only really nice character around. She does her best to instruct the kids and manage everyone’s sorrow. There’s only so much she can do in such a place though. With everyone being shifty and kids vanishing, it’s not exactly an easy environment to make the kids feel welcome in. I applaud her for her efforts but don’t blame her at all for leaving. There’s just no reason to stay in a place like this.

Overall, Picnic at Hanging Rock is a very dreary kind of film. It’s never really sunny over there and at all times the film feels rather grim. Even the ending is super dark and without a conclusion to the case the characters never had much hope. If the film had any hope, the ending would have destroyed it but it was already doomed by then. Nothing really happens for the whole middle act of the film which holds it back further. Throwing in some light hearted scenes or something would have helped a great deal. Instead the film just doesn’t move forward and the weirdness of it all isn’t enough to recommend it. This is one mystery you’ll want to stay far away from.

Overall 3/10

Black and Blue Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a police thriller here as Alicia has to try and get past the corruption to make a difference. In a way you could call this a part conspiracy film as almost literally everyone is out to destroy Alicia before she can get the truth out. It’s got enough explosive moments throughout the film to be a complete thriller but this movie doesn’t end up making it into the big leagues.

The film starts off with Alicia joining the police department in her hometown and she is looking to make a difference. Unfortunately none of her old friends seem to like her anymore now that she’s a cop. Her partner is okay but the police department as a whole seems rather bad as she is attacked on day 1 when they don’t recognize her and later on she even has to hear some cat calls. Clearly this department is in need of better personnel but before there is even much of a chance to think about transferring, she witnesses a few cops murdering a gang member. She has the footage to put them away but they got a few shots off first so she is injured. With the whole police department after her, can Alicia survive?

Alicia is a solid main character and definitely one of the highlights in the film. She does a good job of hiding out from the force throughout the movie and doesn’t waver in her quest to make sure that justice is done. We don’t get to see her fight a whole lot here but this isn’t really that kind of movie. The main goal is just to survive until she can get some help. Alicia usually sees through the traps that are set out for her which is good.

My only issue is that she can act a bit oblivious when it comes to her friends pretending not to know her. It’s apparently been something like 10 years so of course they aren’t going to be immediately jumping into conversation. Additionally it seems that the town has a really strained/broken relationship with the police so either that wasn’t the case when she left or she didn’t notice. Regardless as soon as they saw her badge that was it. They were definitely not going to be friends after that.

In particular Alicia’s former best friend. Honestly that’s no big shame because Missy was just really bonkers the whole time. I think the scene that really went overboard is when the gangsters finally see Alicia’s feed so they know she isn’t the villain but Missy tries to convince them to murder her anyway. Really? There’s no way to like Missy after that so maybe it’s for the best if they go their separate ways anyway.

Milo gets a big role in the film and he’s someone that Alicia can count on. That’s a good thing because without any allies around that would have really been awful for her. Having even just 1 teammate can make a huge difference in these things. He also does well in infiltrating the police base and helping out during the movie. Without him it’s fair to say that Alicia would have definitely been doomed here. There were just too many to get past here.

Alicia’s partner Kevin definitely isn’t great. I mean, he’s portrayed as one of the more reasonable guys here but even then he doesn’t exactly jump to help Alicia when it counts. He always tends to look the other way when crimes are going on and so while he isn’t an active participant, it doesn’t seem like he’s a great guy. Kevin just let everyone down but at least he does have a good moment near the end.

Malone is the main villain here and he does a good job of playing the field. He is always in control of what’s going on and has the villains and heroes being in fear of him. The gangsters could beat him but the partnership is mutually beneficial. You’ll still wonder how Malone can be going around openly shooting and acting like a villain but nobody tends to look closely in this film. For all we know quite a lot of them are in on the take which would also explain why Malone isn’t worried in the slightest. I do think he works well as a villain though.

The gang have a fairly big role as the big third party in the film. They’re villains of course even if they aren’t the main antagonist of the film. By the end the gangsters try to be a bit reasonable but considering that they were beating up on Milo for a while and nearly destroyed him and Alicia, you never forget that they are villains. This experience might hopefully help them not to jump to conclusions and be manipulated so easily next time. I thought they were going to be more suspicious of the intel they got throughout the movie but they actually seemed to buy Malone’s story 100% without any doubts.

Beyond that you have a few more corrupt cops like Deek running around but they don’t get a whole lot more to do. I would say part of my issue here is with how widespread this is. At first it’s one rogue cop teaming up with the NARC agents. Then we find out there are 2 more cops in on it, then this becomes 4, and gradually you wonder who isn’t on it. Even though it starts to feel like she’s in the middle of a conspiracy, presumably not everyone on the force is in on this. You just don’t get to see any actual good cops throughout the film.

I’d have liked to have seen a few reasonable characters. It’s the biggest difference between this and how an older film would have played it. The difference here is restraint. In an older title you’d probably see some decent characters even if they got bumped off. Here that just doesn’t happen. It’s quite telling that in the very first scene in the film Alicia is pushed against a wall and quickly threatened by the cops just for jogging. The police appear to be extremely aggressive in every scene that they appear in.

They’re the villain group in this film and they basically act like gangsters. You might have seen this more in the wild west but in a film set in the modern day it all feels too extreme. So that was one element that really held the film back here which is that everything feels very exaggerated. You have all the stereotypes within a few minutes, “This guy giving you trouble” one of the cops asks as he grabs his gun when the characters were having a completely peaceful chat with nothing going on.

The soundtrack is also underwhelming as I didn’t care for any of the lyrical songs. That one’s of course more of a minor thing. In the end the writing is more on the underwhelming side too. The best thing about the film is that the thriller scenes are pretty solid. We do get some decent fights in the mix even if none of them would really hold up against the bigger action titles. You’ll still be engaged from start to finish, but the whole time you feel like the movie could have been better.

Overall, The whole film just feels super extreme but not in a cool 90’s snowboarding kind of way. If I’m Alicia I would have definitely transferred to another division even after the crisis was over but good on her for sticking it out. It’s the kind of experience that would almost make you want to look for a whole new line of work. The film ends on a hopeful note that things should be better in the future now. There’s the added bonus of a ton of villains being taken down during the climax so the town should also be a lot safer right away.

Overall 3/10

Kiss of the Dragon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Kiss of the Dragon is a film that is carried completely by its action scenes. The rest of the film just isn’t able to stand on its own and as a result it doesn’t end up making it into the green. It had some interesting ideas and mixing in government secret agents with martial arts could and should have been good. Unfortunately it was not meant to be.

The movie starts off very quickly as Liu is tasked with joining Richard’s squad on some kind of assignment. Richard’s group betrays Liu though and frames him for murder. Liu’s group has one member who believes in Liu’s innocence but he is quickly murdered too so now Liu is on the run. The only chance to clear his name is a lady named Jessica who witnessed what happened but her daughter is being held hostage by the villains so she is in no position to help yet. Liu will have to free the kid first but will he be able to do all of that in time? This won’t be easy that’s for sure.

As the film goes on you learn more of the circumstances here. I had thought Liu and Richard’s groups were both criminal enterprises under different sections and it was just a case of one betraying the other. Turns out they are all government related which makes Richard’s first scene of his group beating someone near to death a little more alarming than you initially thought. That’s a huge red flag right off the gate and Richard never seems like he’ll be a decent guy. I would argue that this should have tipped Liu off right at the start but if this is normal behavior then that speaks volumes about their government group.

So the intrigue in what’s going on here is good. As mentioned, the fight scenes are really great too. One of the standout moments has to be when Liu takes on a whole karate class and shows them what’s up. Each action scene in the film feels quite real and intense. You certainly won’t have any issues with the choreography or anything like that. It flows well and not even guns are enough to deter Liu. If the whole film had been a bunch of fight scenes then the movie would have been better off for it. Unfortunately we have to get back to the story and that’s when the film keeps knocking itself out.

So the villains are big into human trafficking to the point where they’ve basically taken the whole country over with it. Jessica is one of these victims and she is forced to work in this field while her daughter is being held hostage. It’s certainly a very distasteful subplot here and the fact that the villains are so open about all of this is pretty sad. Clearly the law enforcement isn’t doing a great job here. The film is really going for max edge here to remind you that these villains have to be stopped.

Naturally they also use this as an advantage against other villains like the chump that gets murdered in the first scene. Of course he is more interested in fooling around than in being safe which makes it easy for one of the ladies to knock him out. The fanservice here does the film no favors. It’s almost like you’re grabbing the worst elements from a classic spy movie without keeping in the good parts.

As a character Jessica is okay at best. She’s not particularly likable but given her situation I wouldn’t expect her to be very nice anyway. Her life’s already been messed up to a huge extent as it is so even if the heroes win at the end of the film, it’ll be tough for her to get her life back to normal right away. I wasn’t a big fan of Liu either though. Usually I like the classic hero on the run type character who is tough and knows how to bend the rules. The hero goes in and knocks everyone out.

It’s a hard formula to mess up but this film pulled it off. The absolute worst scene for Liu is when the villains break into the soba shop and start roughing Jessica up. Liu basically does nothing. Then they decide to take money from Liu for wasting their time….and he does? Really??? That was just embarrassing. At least he tells them not to hit Jessica again as he pays double but then Liu only acts when they do hit her again. So the implication is that if they didn’t, Liu would have simply let them walk off with the money and Jessica even though he just saw how they treated her.

That’s a big no no for a main character. I get that a hero can’t protect everyone all of the time, but Ichigo Kurosaki put it best when he said that he would still protect anyone in front of him. Liu should have immediately taken those guys out instead of taking so long. It was hard for me to root for him as much after that. I mean, of course I am rooting for him against the villains but he just wasn’t a likable lead. He did well in the fights but that’s all I could say for him at this point.

As for the main villain Richard, well he’s definitely not a good villain either. In his line of work it’s rare to find a decent villain because they’re all just as edgy as possible which hurts any chance of them being a good villain. To be a good villain you don’t need to be sympathetic or anything like that but I want a villain who commits his crimes and gets the job done instead of staying back just to overdo it. In the end there’s just nothing to like about Richard. At best I will say he does get some snappy lines and it’s crazy how bold he is. The guy is destroying people left and right, but keep in mind that he is technically supposed to be a good guy so you’d think that he would keep his cover up a bit more. I guess not though….

Overall, I definitely had a lot of issues with this film. The fights were really good as I said, but the overall story needed some major work. It tries to have some funny moments once in a while but they never last long enough to really help the movie out and I would call the tone on the darker side. It feels like the villains own the city way more than they should if this is a normal planet and it’s just too easy. Like how did they stuff a locker full of guns in an area where cops are always patrolling? It’s impressive how detailed they are in framing Liu but it doesn’t seem like it should work. If you want a good martial arts film you can definitely find better ones out there.

Overall 3/10

The Omega Man Review

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The Omega Man is another film in the classic story where humanity is seemingly wiped out so one guy has to survive on his own. That said, the premise is quite different here so you find out that other humans are alive quite early on. I have to say that most of the changes in this film were for the worst though. Ultimately it’s about on the level of your classic zombie film which isn’t really a complement.

The movie starts off with World War III and the human population is effectively destroyed by the chemical warfare. Fortunately Robert was able to survive due to a quick vaccine he had at the ready. As the last sane man alive he gathers supplies during the day and then keeps to himself at night. Those who have been infected can’t move freely in the day so that at least gives him a chance. See, the infected are led by a man named Mathias and they’ve created a cult of sorts where they want to hunt down anyone who still uses technology and isn’t cursed. Naturally Robert would fall into that category.

He’s held them off for a long time but when they finally capture him he is fortunately saved by a lady named Lisa. She explains that there is a whole resistance force that has escaped infection so far. Robert realizes this may finally give him a chance to recreate the vaccine and give it to everyone. Can he pull this off before Mathias and his troops take the heroes out? Additionally, will the rest of the humans only serve to slow Robert down and get him into trouble? That tends to be how things go in these films anyway.

The movie starts off well enough. It’s pretty interesting to see the deserted town and you feel how ominous the whole thing is. We see a shadow early on and you’re wondering what that is. Is it a zombie, enemy soldier? If you don’t know the plot before going into the film then there’s definitely a lot of suspense here as you wonder what exactly is going on here. It takes a little while before the film really lets you know what the score is in that respect. The beginning is just the best part of the film to be honest.

I also thought Robert does a good job of having fun here. When you’re the last man on Earth or seemingly so, you definitely better have a good sense of humor or you’re going to end up getting bored. So he talks to himself, plays games, and just has a good ole time. Of course he is lonely but he does a good job of hiding it and keeping himself active. I think that’s really the best thing to do in this situation. He can handle himself well and has good gun skills too. He even has that science background which comes in handy later on.

Where the film starts to buckle is when we meet the villains. The group is led by Mathias as I mentioned and he’s a very annoying main villain. He’s turned the whole situation into a cult where they attack the survivors but without a cure that means his gorup is slowly dying as it is. So there’s no end game here or any possible future where they are okay. His struggle seems meaningless. The film goes out of its way to show how they are all plagued by this disease and so it’s hard to even look at the characters. They’re all badly disfigured and have a lot of issues going on. It’s a shame that they are all brainwashed so thoroughly here.

Even though they’re sentient, for once I have to say that mindless zombies would be preferable here. These villains just seem so irrational that they may as well be mindless so it’s almost worse. Then you have their designs which hold them back as well. Yeah I could have done without these guys. Unfortunately the human characters aren’t very good either. First off you have the main heroine Lisa. At first she seems reasonable, a tough fighter who has survived in this cruel world for so long.

Yet, it feels like she doesn’t remember her survival skills when it counts. Near the end she decides to go and get some groceries, but Robert wisely points out that this isn’t the time for that. Villains can be anywhere and they can make it another day or so before it’s time to leave down. Well, she leaves anyway and things don’t go very well. In theory it should be tough for these guys to catch anyone with how slow they are but unfortunately she ended up being easy pickings for these guys.

Then you have Richie….oh nooooooo! You sort of know exactly when he’s going to make a bad move here. He tells Robert that he should either murder all of the cult members or try to cure them. Robert doesn’t want to mess with these guys since he was already captured once and refuses….so Richie figures he should go over there. Richie may have had connections before but this is really just a bad idea from the jump. You really should not be putting yourself in harm’s way like this. It causes a whole ripple effect across the story. The whole climax isn’t entirely Richie’s fault but he plays a big role in it.

Dutch is mainly safe because he doesn’t do anything although you will wonder where he is. He vanishes for large chunks of the movie and the resistance doesn’t appear until the end. It’s probably for the best that he wasn’t around or things would have gotten dicey for him too I suppose. By the end of the film you just feel like everyone ended up getting in Robert’s way. Perhaps he would have died eventually by himself anyway, you could say there’s a good chance of that. You still just wish things could have gone differently for him by the end.

The writing’s not bad here even if the characters are annoying most of the time. The romance is really rushed though and definitely could have been cut out of the film. Removing those scenes would help the film and in the middle of an apocalypse who is going to be distracted by romance anyway? There’s bigger things to worry about and that can wait until after the situation is resolved. At least that’s the way I see it.

Overall, The Omega Man is held back by the characters and is held back big time by the villains. It’s rare to say that zombies would be an improvement which shows just how bad these guys are. The climax isn’t very good and the movie does not end on a satisfying note. The romance doesn’t help matters either and so you’re left with a film that has a lot of weak points. All the best scenes in the film are from the very beginning and there’s a sharp decline once the other characters come into the mix. It’s almost inevitable that some humans appear but it would have been best to have kept that to a later point in the movie. The action’s good at least so if you can get past everything else then that’s always a fun sliver lining.

Overall 3/10