Category Archives: 3 Star Movies

The Intruder Review

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The Intruder is almost like a return to form for horror titles. You’ve got the very unlikable main cast, the insane villain who just openly goes around taking people out, and nobody decides to just leave. What you end up with is a film that will have you annoyed at the main characters and it never gets to the point where you would call it a good movie. So this one ends up just losing out.

The movie starts out with Scott and Annie deciding to buy a house. They are fairly well off and could have stayed in the city but Annie just wanted somewhere quieter to start raising a family. While Scott isn’t too impressed with the first house they see, Annie likes it so they end up buying it. Unfortunately the previous owner Charlie doesn’t seem thrilled about this. He keeps on showing up unannounced and acts like it is still his house. He is openly antagonistic towards Scott and acts overly familiar to Annie. Initially this is just something that irritates Scott but then he starts to realize that this guy may actually be dangerous. Now what can he do about it?

It’s always rough when you don’t go with your gut because then you end up regretting everything. From the start Scott realized that this didn’t seem like a very good idea but he went with it because Annie really liked the place. Charlie started with the insults early on too but Scott figured he could power through it. The issue is that Charlie is always around while Scott is back in the city all day so he is rarely at home. This already puts Scott at a disadvantage in making sure Annie is okay.

Then unfortunately we find out that Scott has also made some massive mistakes in the past like cheating on Annie. You’d think he would really be on his best behavior now but then he also starts flirting with the cashier at the ice cream parlor. Why would you even do that? His excuses were really weak at this point in time because Annie was right that his dialogue was way over the top. Further, it seems like he was about to cheat on her again but fortunately she called him in time.

So the film goes out of its way to make Scott look bad here and naturally this ends up making it all the easier for Charlie to move in. It’s still no excuse for how oblivious Annie is though. She seems to not notice at all how Charlie is acting towards her and her excuses about it aren’t very good either. She says that he’s very lonely and everything so they should just let him keep showing up like this. Even if you feel bad for someone, that’s not an excuse to just have them be showing up all the time.

There are even some cases where she is the one making the situation worse like when he shows up with pizza or to talk about the lights. Charlie’s about to leave when she calls him back so they can hang out. I know she’s still in the “just being friendly” stage but it’s still a really bad idea no matter how you slice it. She doesn’t know him at all and Scott’s not around. Seems like an unnecessary risk to me. Both Scott and Annie can never have a reasonable discussion about any of this either since there is just too much ammo flying all over the place.

It’s why the movie has them making these mistakes in the first place since it evens out and then they can’t really talk about the other. I found that to be a bit lazy though. As for Charlie, he could have been better if they just focused on the “he’s insane!!” part. Have him initially start out as someone who is harmless and just wants his house but gradually gets more sinister as the main characters act more aggressively in banning him from the house. Then you have the intruder aspect and things get serious.

Instead the film starts to focus more on how Annie is Charlie’s goal and as soon as the villain’s motivation goes there you know that it’s all over. That kind of villain’s always going to be just plain awful in the end and Charlie’s no exception. The dynamic could have been so much better otherwise but they blew it when that happened.

The main characters have a friend named Mike but he’s just awful as well. Keep in mind that Scott and Annie just bought this place. It’s a super big house with tons of bathrooms and the guy still feels the need to go all over the backyard. That’s just completely unnecessary and the same goes for dropping cigarette butts all over the place and extinguishing the fire on nearby plants. It’s like Mike’s going out of his way to ruin the place. It’s portrayed more that he’s just not very smart and tends to be crude but it is so exaggerated. Any scene with him in it was pretty awful.

At least The Intruder does have a lot of jump scares though. Charlie is always running around inside of the thunder flashes so you know that he’s watching. The characters never notice but you like to think that they would if they were more on edge. Charlie is always a few steps ahead of them so the one time the heroes have him on the defensive you wish they could do more about it. For example, at one point they stab him and he hits the ground hard. You’ve got 3 options here, restrain him, keep stabbing him, or drop the weapon and tend to your wounds while giving the guy your back.

Naturally they choose option 3. Look, if someone’s broken into your house and he’s clearly dangerous and armed, option 2 is the best bet here. Make sure you’ve put him down for good and keep it moving. Instead in every horror film it feels like the characters think 1 stab will be enough somehow so they clearly haven’t watched the news enough. These characters really did not handle any of this very well and the examples will just keep coming as you watch the movie.

I won’t even bring up how Mike could have done better since we’ve established that he’s just not very bright. Would have been nice if he could have at least remembered to pick up his cell phone and dial as soon as he saw Charlie though instead of making a lot of noise and running. I also blame Scott for falling asleep. By this point he knows how big the danger is so he should be calling the cops and doing a number of things instead of leaving it all to Mike. Going even further back, why did Annie go home at all? By this point it’s patently obvious that Charlie’s out to get them so letting her go home alone while he will be stuck in the hospital for another day doesn’t make any sense.

Overall, The Intruder will show you how to mishandle a situation every step of the way. From buying the house where the owner runs around with a shotgun and insults you right away, to splitting up and not taking anything seriously, these characters don’t make it easy on themselves. With a better villain this could have ended up being a better film but it just wasn’t to be. Ultimately I would give a hard pass to this one. While the end credits have a very stylistic approach which is nice and the ending to Scott’s character arc was handled differently than what I would have expected, I wouldn’t say there is any reason to recommend this film. The only good part about it is that the atmospheric horror can be good at times. Lots of solid visuals and jump scare moments but that’s not enough to recommend an entire movie. Everything else holds it back.

Overall 3/10

Gaslight (1944) Review

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Time for the next adaption of Gaslight. I was certainly not all that impressed with the first one and this title is only marginally better. Many of the same negatives from the first film reappear in this one. I’ll give this title credit for having what’s effectively a 30-40 minute prologue added in before we see the first scene of the original film readapted here. It adds some more context but also backfires. More on that later on.

Paula’s aunt was murdered one day which frightened everyone and so Paula was sent away for a while. We cut to the present where she has met up with a guy named Gregory and intends to marry him. It’s all going well until he says that he wants to move to London, the exact area where the aunt was murdered. Paula has done her best to get over this incident for many years and so she figures that she is ready to handle this. Unfortunately things begin to get misplaced and Gregory is always attacking her now that they are married. Will she be able to escape or will she fall for every trick over and over again?

So here’s why the whole extended origin fails here. We actually see how Paula’s life was quite happy and how she met Gregory. Right from the jump she should have said no to moving to the London squares…but fine she says that she’s over it so we can roll with that. Here’s where things get dicey. When she finds the letter with a mysterious name on it, Gregory snaps at her and immediately starts yelling and acting like the main villain. We’re still in the prologue here so the old film hasn’t started yet.

Right away Paula needed to have called him out here. She can’t just take that and let a bad precedence start. Then in the next scene we have Gregory casually mentioning that Paula tends to be a very forgetful person. Paula just accepts this for some reason when she should have quickly said no. The gaslighting here is so obvious and tactless that you’ll be shaking your head the whole time. It all happens so fast and since we’re actually seeing it this time, you have a hard time believing any of it. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense.

Paula isn’t nearly as broken as the first character by this point but it’s like her personality does a 180 as she was so confident and self assured but suddenly becomes extremely timid. It’s disappointing because she could have done so well and is instead faltering immediately. The rest of the movie gets worse and worse for her as Gregory just keeps on manipulating and humiliating her in front of everyone. If only she had signed the documents saying that she keeps all of the money because then she could have dashed out or something.

Regardless it would have been nice if she had gone outside more to talk to people and figure out what is going on. She’s rich to an extent and should easily be able to think of some things that can help. Hire some detectives or do something pro active to find out about the letter and why Gregory has changed so suddenly. She should have helped hire the maids and if anything she should have fired Nancy once she sensed how much antagonism was there.

One of the biggest problems with the film is that Paula’s barely a character. She just stands there and takes everything that Gregory throws at her. You wish she would do anything but instead she always ends up disappointing you. Finally there’s one area where she is worse than in the previous version. It’s near the end of the film when Brian is around to help her but everyone dashes off as Gregory shows up. In the first film she seems to actually think that it might have been a dream and starts to crack. In this one it seems like she panics at the thought of Gregory being against her and so she quickly tried to throw the other maid under the bus. I thought that was an extremely petty moment and it definitely made her look bad. That’s the kind of mistake that you can’t afford to make.

Of course Gregory’s a pretty awful villain too. The guy isn’t exactly subtle with all the noise he makes when trying to find the jewels. I wouldn’t even say that he’s a very smart villain because the whole plan revolves around Paula being easily manipulated and not able to do anything for herself. If Paula had talked to the nice next door neighbor or anyone then this could have all been avoided. Any scene with Gregory in it tends to be annoying for sure.

Nancy is also not a very nice maid. You’d think she would respect Paula as the head mistress more but unfortunately she is quickly able to sense the heroine’s weakness and pounces. The other maid was nice enough though and at least tried to look out for Paula. Then you have Brian who is doing his best to solve this case as soon as possible. The guy is dedicated and I’ll give him points for making a real effort here. In the end the guy took a very long time but he still helped save the day. The result is really what counts here.

The suspense for disbelief is just too much though. I like my main characters to be confident and self assured. Even if you are going to be a wallflower then I expect you to trust your own judgment and step up when the going gets tough. If Paula had gotten tough even once then that would have helped the film a great deal. The extended run time gives her more character but it almost doesn’t matter since it doesn’t change her actions later on. She still falls into all of the same holes so that whole intro may as well have not even happened at all.

Overall, Gaslight is a film that I have to give a full thumbs down too. The character cast isn’t quite interesting enough to counter all of the suspense for disbelief you have to go through. The old lady seemed nice enough but in the end she barely got to appear at all so I’m not even sure what the point of her character was. This adaption certainly added a whole lot of elements but since they didn’t change anything, they may as well have kept it the same. The movie beats the original but as I said earlier, it doesn’t do enough to make this a good movie. It’s still one that I would give a thumbs down to in the end. You’ll want to avoid this one for sure.

Overall 3/10

Picnic at Hanging Rock Review

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Picnic at Hanging Rock takes the term “Slow Burner” to a whole new level. It feels like nothing is happening for the majority of the movie which does end up hurting the experience. Ultimately the biggest issue here is that the movie is quite boring for most of its run which is too bad since if it leaned more into the supernatural angle then this could have been a little more exciting. It doesn’t quite go in that direction though and the odd vibes the film gives off is not enough to keep it afloat.

The film starts off with the girls at a private school getting ready for their field trip. They are going to Hanging Rock this time and are instructed not to get too close or wander off from the group. Naturally they decide to go up there anyway or at least a group of them do. At first they make it fairly far up the mountain without an issue and are even dominating the mazes. One of them is complaining the whole time but the others pay no heed. Just as it’s almost time to go back, they appear to get brainwashed by some kind of supernatural entity which forces them up while one of the girls ends up running back home. There is no trace of the girls except for one who is found later on. What happened to them and how will the school stay running?

The film is definitely going for one of those unsolvable mystery type angles. Even as a concept I don’t think that will usually work out well for a film though. It pretty much guarantees that the film won’t have much of an ending which is concerning. It’s also going to rarely be very satisfying as is the case here. I wouldn’t say you’re necessarily too invested in the film as it is but it makes the whole thing feel even emptier. A huge part of the film is in trying to locate the missing girls and find out what happened but at the end of the day there were really no answers to be found here.

Of course I would say it was definitely supernatural and the mountain itself based on how it’s presented here. We get a lot of ominous shots with the mountain glaring at everyone and it explains why the girls suddenly got so dazed. There’s always a lot of ominous music as well which works well for the scenes. One thing I will say for the film is that it does a good job of making a lot of the scenes feel odd and sinister. That’s definitely pretty impressive of the film. The problem is that it’s hard to hold this kind of atmosphere for very long without something happening. The film pulls it off for the opening segments of the film but then that’s it. The rest of the film goes back into slice of life territory that just isn’t entertaining.

While it’s always debatable whether it’s worse to be boring or to be bad, everyone can agree that a film wants to avoid both of those options. If this movie had just been more entertaining that could have helped a lot. Mrs. Applewood is probably the most entertaining character because of how she is so transparent in how she only cares for the school. If there is any human antagonist in the film, it would have to be her. She’s even saddened when they find one of the girls because she thinks this will mean even more bad publicity. You don’t get a villain more obvious than that here but she really goes all in on the role. There’s never any doubt.

A lot of the characters here are the main kids who are hardly that entertaining. Albert is a kid who’s a bad influence to Michael and is just around to cause trouble. He just lazes about and doesn’t do anything except watch the girls. Michael may not do much for a while but at least once they disappear he does his best to find them. He even has a trippy dream of sorts and never loses hope that he will find them someday. I’ll give him credit there since that’s more effort than most of the characters were putting into this.

In general the town did their best though. We get quite a few scenes of the townsfolk all launching searches and investigations into what is happening and to find the girls. While none of them is successful you can’t fault those guys for a lack of trying. There were quite a few investigations but when the supernatural is at work it’s not like any of that ever could succeed. Even the girls who do return are hardly much help since they don’t seem to remember much of anything.

Edith for example is still complaining when the grownups bring her back up the mountain to try and describe what’s happening. It’s why Edith has to be my least favorite character here. Lives are at stake and she’s complaining about being tired and sleepy. That’s just super selfish on her part. She doesn’t seem to have any sympathy towards the other kids who are missing which is a shame.

Then you have Irma is found and she really seems to be in a daze the whole time too. She doesn’t know much of what happened and is really quiet even during her goodbye scene until the class tackle her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s traumatized after the events on the mountain and has a much better reason to be stunned than Edith that’s for sure. Still, it would have been nice if she could have remembered more and clued the characters in. That would have at least given us something to go on.

Miss. Lumley is probably the only really nice character around. She does her best to instruct the kids and manage everyone’s sorrow. There’s only so much she can do in such a place though. With everyone being shifty and kids vanishing, it’s not exactly an easy environment to make the kids feel welcome in. I applaud her for her efforts but don’t blame her at all for leaving. There’s just no reason to stay in a place like this.

Overall, Picnic at Hanging Rock is a very dreary kind of film. It’s never really sunny over there and at all times the film feels rather grim. Even the ending is super dark and without a conclusion to the case the characters never had much hope. If the film had any hope, the ending would have destroyed it but it was already doomed by then. Nothing really happens for the whole middle act of the film which holds it back further. Throwing in some light hearted scenes or something would have helped a great deal. Instead the film just doesn’t move forward and the weirdness of it all isn’t enough to recommend it. This is one mystery you’ll want to stay far away from.

Overall 3/10

Black and Blue Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a police thriller here as Alicia has to try and get past the corruption to make a difference. In a way you could call this a part conspiracy film as almost literally everyone is out to destroy Alicia before she can get the truth out. It’s got enough explosive moments throughout the film to be a complete thriller but this movie doesn’t end up making it into the big leagues.

The film starts off with Alicia joining the police department in her hometown and she is looking to make a difference. Unfortunately none of her old friends seem to like her anymore now that she’s a cop. Her partner is okay but the police department as a whole seems rather bad as she is attacked on day 1 when they don’t recognize her and later on she even has to hear some cat calls. Clearly this department is in need of better personnel but before there is even much of a chance to think about transferring, she witnesses a few cops murdering a gang member. She has the footage to put them away but they got a few shots off first so she is injured. With the whole police department after her, can Alicia survive?

Alicia is a solid main character and definitely one of the highlights in the film. She does a good job of hiding out from the force throughout the movie and doesn’t waver in her quest to make sure that justice is done. We don’t get to see her fight a whole lot here but this isn’t really that kind of movie. The main goal is just to survive until she can get some help. Alicia usually sees through the traps that are set out for her which is good.

My only issue is that she can act a bit oblivious when it comes to her friends pretending not to know her. It’s apparently been something like 10 years so of course they aren’t going to be immediately jumping into conversation. Additionally it seems that the town has a really strained/broken relationship with the police so either that wasn’t the case when she left or she didn’t notice. Regardless as soon as they saw her badge that was it. They were definitely not going to be friends after that.

In particular Alicia’s former best friend. Honestly that’s no big shame because Missy was just really bonkers the whole time. I think the scene that really went overboard is when the gangsters finally see Alicia’s feed so they know she isn’t the villain but Missy tries to convince them to murder her anyway. Really? There’s no way to like Missy after that so maybe it’s for the best if they go their separate ways anyway.

Milo gets a big role in the film and he’s someone that Alicia can count on. That’s a good thing because without any allies around that would have really been awful for her. Having even just 1 teammate can make a huge difference in these things. He also does well in infiltrating the police base and helping out during the movie. Without him it’s fair to say that Alicia would have definitely been doomed here. There were just too many to get past here.

Alicia’s partner Kevin definitely isn’t great. I mean, he’s portrayed as one of the more reasonable guys here but even then he doesn’t exactly jump to help Alicia when it counts. He always tends to look the other way when crimes are going on and so while he isn’t an active participant, it doesn’t seem like he’s a great guy. Kevin just let everyone down but at least he does have a good moment near the end.

Malone is the main villain here and he does a good job of playing the field. He is always in control of what’s going on and has the villains and heroes being in fear of him. The gangsters could beat him but the partnership is mutually beneficial. You’ll still wonder how Malone can be going around openly shooting and acting like a villain but nobody tends to look closely in this film. For all we know quite a lot of them are in on the take which would also explain why Malone isn’t worried in the slightest. I do think he works well as a villain though.

The gang have a fairly big role as the big third party in the film. They’re villains of course even if they aren’t the main antagonist of the film. By the end the gangsters try to be a bit reasonable but considering that they were beating up on Milo for a while and nearly destroyed him and Alicia, you never forget that they are villains. This experience might hopefully help them not to jump to conclusions and be manipulated so easily next time. I thought they were going to be more suspicious of the intel they got throughout the movie but they actually seemed to buy Malone’s story 100% without any doubts.

Beyond that you have a few more corrupt cops like Deek running around but they don’t get a whole lot more to do. I would say part of my issue here is with how widespread this is. At first it’s one rogue cop teaming up with the NARC agents. Then we find out there are 2 more cops in on it, then this becomes 4, and gradually you wonder who isn’t on it. Even though it starts to feel like she’s in the middle of a conspiracy, presumably not everyone on the force is in on this. You just don’t get to see any actual good cops throughout the film.

I’d have liked to have seen a few reasonable characters. It’s the biggest difference between this and how an older film would have played it. The difference here is restraint. In an older title you’d probably see some decent characters even if they got bumped off. Here that just doesn’t happen. It’s quite telling that in the very first scene in the film Alicia is pushed against a wall and quickly threatened by the cops just for jogging. The police appear to be extremely aggressive in every scene that they appear in.

They’re the villain group in this film and they basically act like gangsters. You might have seen this more in the wild west but in a film set in the modern day it all feels too extreme. So that was one element that really held the film back here which is that everything feels very exaggerated. You have all the stereotypes within a few minutes, “This guy giving you trouble” one of the cops asks as he grabs his gun when the characters were having a completely peaceful chat with nothing going on.

The soundtrack is also underwhelming as I didn’t care for any of the lyrical songs. That one’s of course more of a minor thing. In the end the writing is more on the underwhelming side too. The best thing about the film is that the thriller scenes are pretty solid. We do get some decent fights in the mix even if none of them would really hold up against the bigger action titles. You’ll still be engaged from start to finish, but the whole time you feel like the movie could have been better.

Overall, The whole film just feels super extreme but not in a cool 90’s snowboarding kind of way. If I’m Alicia I would have definitely transferred to another division even after the crisis was over but good on her for sticking it out. It’s the kind of experience that would almost make you want to look for a whole new line of work. The film ends on a hopeful note that things should be better in the future now. There’s the added bonus of a ton of villains being taken down during the climax so the town should also be a lot safer right away.

Overall 3/10

Kiss of the Dragon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Kiss of the Dragon is a film that is carried completely by its action scenes. The rest of the film just isn’t able to stand on its own and as a result it doesn’t end up making it into the green. It had some interesting ideas and mixing in government secret agents with martial arts could and should have been good. Unfortunately it was not meant to be.

The movie starts off very quickly as Liu is tasked with joining Richard’s squad on some kind of assignment. Richard’s group betrays Liu though and frames him for murder. Liu’s group has one member who believes in Liu’s innocence but he is quickly murdered too so now Liu is on the run. The only chance to clear his name is a lady named Jessica who witnessed what happened but her daughter is being held hostage by the villains so she is in no position to help yet. Liu will have to free the kid first but will he be able to do all of that in time? This won’t be easy that’s for sure.

As the film goes on you learn more of the circumstances here. I had thought Liu and Richard’s groups were both criminal enterprises under different sections and it was just a case of one betraying the other. Turns out they are all government related which makes Richard’s first scene of his group beating someone near to death a little more alarming than you initially thought. That’s a huge red flag right off the gate and Richard never seems like he’ll be a decent guy. I would argue that this should have tipped Liu off right at the start but if this is normal behavior then that speaks volumes about their government group.

So the intrigue in what’s going on here is good. As mentioned, the fight scenes are really great too. One of the standout moments has to be when Liu takes on a whole karate class and shows them what’s up. Each action scene in the film feels quite real and intense. You certainly won’t have any issues with the choreography or anything like that. It flows well and not even guns are enough to deter Liu. If the whole film had been a bunch of fight scenes then the movie would have been better off for it. Unfortunately we have to get back to the story and that’s when the film keeps knocking itself out.

So the villains are big into human trafficking to the point where they’ve basically taken the whole country over with it. Jessica is one of these victims and she is forced to work in this field while her daughter is being held hostage. It’s certainly a very distasteful subplot here and the fact that the villains are so open about all of this is pretty sad. Clearly the law enforcement isn’t doing a great job here. The film is really going for max edge here to remind you that these villains have to be stopped.

Naturally they also use this as an advantage against other villains like the chump that gets murdered in the first scene. Of course he is more interested in fooling around than in being safe which makes it easy for one of the ladies to knock him out. The fanservice here does the film no favors. It’s almost like you’re grabbing the worst elements from a classic spy movie without keeping in the good parts.

As a character Jessica is okay at best. She’s not particularly likable but given her situation I wouldn’t expect her to be very nice anyway. Her life’s already been messed up to a huge extent as it is so even if the heroes win at the end of the film, it’ll be tough for her to get her life back to normal right away. I wasn’t a big fan of Liu either though. Usually I like the classic hero on the run type character who is tough and knows how to bend the rules. The hero goes in and knocks everyone out.

It’s a hard formula to mess up but this film pulled it off. The absolute worst scene for Liu is when the villains break into the soba shop and start roughing Jessica up. Liu basically does nothing. Then they decide to take money from Liu for wasting their time….and he does? Really??? That was just embarrassing. At least he tells them not to hit Jessica again as he pays double but then Liu only acts when they do hit her again. So the implication is that if they didn’t, Liu would have simply let them walk off with the money and Jessica even though he just saw how they treated her.

That’s a big no no for a main character. I get that a hero can’t protect everyone all of the time, but Ichigo Kurosaki put it best when he said that he would still protect anyone in front of him. Liu should have immediately taken those guys out instead of taking so long. It was hard for me to root for him as much after that. I mean, of course I am rooting for him against the villains but he just wasn’t a likable lead. He did well in the fights but that’s all I could say for him at this point.

As for the main villain Richard, well he’s definitely not a good villain either. In his line of work it’s rare to find a decent villain because they’re all just as edgy as possible which hurts any chance of them being a good villain. To be a good villain you don’t need to be sympathetic or anything like that but I want a villain who commits his crimes and gets the job done instead of staying back just to overdo it. In the end there’s just nothing to like about Richard. At best I will say he does get some snappy lines and it’s crazy how bold he is. The guy is destroying people left and right, but keep in mind that he is technically supposed to be a good guy so you’d think that he would keep his cover up a bit more. I guess not though….

Overall, I definitely had a lot of issues with this film. The fights were really good as I said, but the overall story needed some major work. It tries to have some funny moments once in a while but they never last long enough to really help the movie out and I would call the tone on the darker side. It feels like the villains own the city way more than they should if this is a normal planet and it’s just too easy. Like how did they stuff a locker full of guns in an area where cops are always patrolling? It’s impressive how detailed they are in framing Liu but it doesn’t seem like it should work. If you want a good martial arts film you can definitely find better ones out there.

Overall 3/10

The Omega Man Review

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The Omega Man is another film in the classic story where humanity is seemingly wiped out so one guy has to survive on his own. That said, the premise is quite different here so you find out that other humans are alive quite early on. I have to say that most of the changes in this film were for the worst though. Ultimately it’s about on the level of your classic zombie film which isn’t really a complement.

The movie starts off with World War III and the human population is effectively destroyed by the chemical warfare. Fortunately Robert was able to survive due to a quick vaccine he had at the ready. As the last sane man alive he gathers supplies during the day and then keeps to himself at night. Those who have been infected can’t move freely in the day so that at least gives him a chance. See, the infected are led by a man named Mathias and they’ve created a cult of sorts where they want to hunt down anyone who still uses technology and isn’t cursed. Naturally Robert would fall into that category.

He’s held them off for a long time but when they finally capture him he is fortunately saved by a lady named Lisa. She explains that there is a whole resistance force that has escaped infection so far. Robert realizes this may finally give him a chance to recreate the vaccine and give it to everyone. Can he pull this off before Mathias and his troops take the heroes out? Additionally, will the rest of the humans only serve to slow Robert down and get him into trouble? That tends to be how things go in these films anyway.

The movie starts off well enough. It’s pretty interesting to see the deserted town and you feel how ominous the whole thing is. We see a shadow early on and you’re wondering what that is. Is it a zombie, enemy soldier? If you don’t know the plot before going into the film then there’s definitely a lot of suspense here as you wonder what exactly is going on here. It takes a little while before the film really lets you know what the score is in that respect. The beginning is just the best part of the film to be honest.

I also thought Robert does a good job of having fun here. When you’re the last man on Earth or seemingly so, you definitely better have a good sense of humor or you’re going to end up getting bored. So he talks to himself, plays games, and just has a good ole time. Of course he is lonely but he does a good job of hiding it and keeping himself active. I think that’s really the best thing to do in this situation. He can handle himself well and has good gun skills too. He even has that science background which comes in handy later on.

Where the film starts to buckle is when we meet the villains. The group is led by Mathias as I mentioned and he’s a very annoying main villain. He’s turned the whole situation into a cult where they attack the survivors but without a cure that means his gorup is slowly dying as it is. So there’s no end game here or any possible future where they are okay. His struggle seems meaningless. The film goes out of its way to show how they are all plagued by this disease and so it’s hard to even look at the characters. They’re all badly disfigured and have a lot of issues going on. It’s a shame that they are all brainwashed so thoroughly here.

Even though they’re sentient, for once I have to say that mindless zombies would be preferable here. These villains just seem so irrational that they may as well be mindless so it’s almost worse. Then you have their designs which hold them back as well. Yeah I could have done without these guys. Unfortunately the human characters aren’t very good either. First off you have the main heroine Lisa. At first she seems reasonable, a tough fighter who has survived in this cruel world for so long.

Yet, it feels like she doesn’t remember her survival skills when it counts. Near the end she decides to go and get some groceries, but Robert wisely points out that this isn’t the time for that. Villains can be anywhere and they can make it another day or so before it’s time to leave down. Well, she leaves anyway and things don’t go very well. In theory it should be tough for these guys to catch anyone with how slow they are but unfortunately she ended up being easy pickings for these guys.

Then you have Richie….oh nooooooo! You sort of know exactly when he’s going to make a bad move here. He tells Robert that he should either murder all of the cult members or try to cure them. Robert doesn’t want to mess with these guys since he was already captured once and refuses….so Richie figures he should go over there. Richie may have had connections before but this is really just a bad idea from the jump. You really should not be putting yourself in harm’s way like this. It causes a whole ripple effect across the story. The whole climax isn’t entirely Richie’s fault but he plays a big role in it.

Dutch is mainly safe because he doesn’t do anything although you will wonder where he is. He vanishes for large chunks of the movie and the resistance doesn’t appear until the end. It’s probably for the best that he wasn’t around or things would have gotten dicey for him too I suppose. By the end of the film you just feel like everyone ended up getting in Robert’s way. Perhaps he would have died eventually by himself anyway, you could say there’s a good chance of that. You still just wish things could have gone differently for him by the end.

The writing’s not bad here even if the characters are annoying most of the time. The romance is really rushed though and definitely could have been cut out of the film. Removing those scenes would help the film and in the middle of an apocalypse who is going to be distracted by romance anyway? There’s bigger things to worry about and that can wait until after the situation is resolved. At least that’s the way I see it.

Overall, The Omega Man is held back by the characters and is held back big time by the villains. It’s rare to say that zombies would be an improvement which shows just how bad these guys are. The climax isn’t very good and the movie does not end on a satisfying note. The romance doesn’t help matters either and so you’re left with a film that has a lot of weak points. All the best scenes in the film are from the very beginning and there’s a sharp decline once the other characters come into the mix. It’s almost inevitable that some humans appear but it would have been best to have kept that to a later point in the movie. The action’s good at least so if you can get past everything else then that’s always a fun sliver lining.

Overall 3/10

Magic Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Magic is a film where the main character is acting really shady from the start but nobody ever notices the red flags until it’s too late. As a result the characters are really in a jam here. The puppets always make for interesting characters but with this film it feels like this is all a hallucination which takes away a bit from the supernatural factor. You could make the case that the whole thing is in his head which isn’t nearly as fun.

The movie starts off with Corky messing up at another comedy show gig with his crude puppet Fats. His mentor Merlin just tells him to keep on trying and he will get it. Eventually Corky does become a star and he is super close to making it into the big leagues. Unfortunately in order to secure his TV gig he has to go through a medical checkup and since Corky knows that he is insane, he declines. His agent Ben wants to help Corky get past this but Corky runs off to a very remote area where he meets his old crush Peggy. He figures this place will be good to hide and maybe he can win over Peggy even though she is already married. Will his insanity prevent Corky from having a happy life?

Even if Corky wasn’t crazy I would still have to root against him though because Peggy is already married. I get that he likes her but once someone is married you really have to let them go. Nothing good will come from trying to go after someone who is already married. Corky’s just not a likable character though. Look at how quickly he blows up at his agent Ben despite the guy doing his best to try and get him on the show anyway. Ben even called in all of his lawyers and they did their best. Ben was the only one who really had Corky’s best interests at heart the entire time yet Corky just didn’t care.

Additionally, Corky wasn’t even nice to Peggy early on. When he messes up on one of his early tricks he starts threatening her and you almost think he was ready to murder her there if the trick didn’t go over well. Corky is really the main villain of the film and it’s always tricky when you have the lead as the villain since you can’t exactly root for him. This doesn’t end up working out here and the only way he may have even stood a slight chance is if Fats was definitely a separate entity. I wouldn’t say that the film really plays it out that way though so in the end you have to blame him for everything going on.

Even if Fats was a real character I wouldn’t have liked him much though. The guy is always being really crude which is really the extent of his character. He will always be making cracks to get some easy laughs which the characters always find funny. Fats is always egging Corky on but doesn’t help much. I suppose he does get one stab in near the end. He’s certainly no Chucky or Talking Tina in terms of the scare factor.

The best character by far was Ben here. I’ll give him major points for at least trying to help Corky out the whole time. He never turned his back on the guy and through to the end he was going to go and look for some help. You knew he was doomed in the film but the whole time you were hoping he would somehow pull off the escape and get out of there. Now that would have definitely been amazing. All things considered, the guy did put up a pretty good fight even though he was taken by surprise and in a weakened state.

As the main heroine I can’t say that Peggy was particularly good either. She should not have entertained Corky from the start and cheating is never the right move. Duke may not have been a great guy so in that case split up first but don’t start another affair in the meantime. I also didn’t think she picked up on a lot of the red flags like with Corky threatening her early on. You’d think that would have been a dealbreaker but it didn’t really seem to leave a big impact on her at all.

Finally you have Duke who is definitely a bad guy from the start. He acts all tough when it’s a fight that he can win but at no point in the film do you feel sympathetic to him at all. He’s just not a good person and any scene with him in it is another one where you are rooting for the guy’s scene to end already. The film certainly doesn’t have the strongest cast since I would say only one character here is good.

Naturally I wouldn’t say the writing is great either. The characters don’t tend to act very realistically as described above. The only scene where I would give some good props is the stare down with Corky and Ben where corky had to try and make it 5 minutes without talking. I thought that was handled really well at least. The scene did a good job of showing how Corky just couldn’t keep it together by this point and how serious the whole thing was.

Overall, Magic is a film you can safely skip. It sort of defeats the purpose of its own story by not having Fats actually move around and cause damage. Having Corky be insane instead isn’t nearly as interesting and of course it does mean that the lead is no fun to follow around. I would have preferred to have at least seen more of the comedy acts even if I didn’t find him to be all that funny. I do think comedy shows in general are tough since you have to try and make people laugh but how often are the audiences going to be super engaged? When you’re trying to be funny is often the hardest time to get people to laugh. Ironically a little more magic could have helped this film.

Overall 3/10

The Predator Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Whenever you decide to have a bunch of villains be the main characters it doesn’t seem to end well. One of the Alien films tried pulling this off with the prison movie and that wasn’t great. Suicide Squad tried this with super villains and no dice. Now you’ve got The Predator where the main character is surrounded by a bunch of lunatics and unsurprisingly none of them are particularly likable. That’s a bit of a problem because that means the rest of the film has to work that much harder. This one was ultimately not able to succeed.

The movie starts off with McKenna and his squad of army fighters going through the forest when they are attacked by something out of this world. McKenna manages to survive but the rest of his squad is taken out. McKenna quickly mails himself some of the alien tech he was able to grab to prove the truth about the aliens but the government quickly catches up to him and naturally they want to keep this a secret. So they send him to a prison to possibly be lobotomized or just buried there forever. The Predator appears once again to take names though so McKenna convinces the rest of the crew to knock the cops out and escape. Now it’s their turn to hunt the Predator. They were all trained professionals at one time or another before being taken to the asylum so surely they can beat this Predator right? That is McKenna’s hope at least and he has to hurry because the Predator is now after his son since the kid has the equipment now.

McKenna is really the only good character in the film and that’s a shame. He’s not a bad lead or anything but it’s really hard to hold a whole film on your back. McKenna does his best but ultimately you just wish there was a better supporting character. He is determined to help his kid and does get a lot of solid moments as the film goes on. His gun skills are on point and he lives up to the hype that he builds for himself. The main heroine Bracket isn’t bad I suppose although criticizing the Predator’s name along with another one of the characters kinda feels petty considering that she’s just found out that aliens exist on the planet. The name can wait. While it’s played for laughs, she did have the right reaction in going for the gun and firing it when she woke up in an unfamiliar spot the way that she did. You always want to play it safe after all.

The rest of the guys from the truck are just super annoying though. They contribute quite heavily to the poor writing in the film as they just talk like criminals. We get a whole lot of crude dialogue the whole time and they can’t keep their eyes on the prize. They’re easily distracted and also lack reaction times like when one guy started shooting at a barrier instead of jumping. Not a really good move there. I really would have preferred if the main characters would have been McKenna’s squad. I guess that would be a clone of the first film but I can get behind that.

Naturally this movie is super violent so if you’re not up for that then this is a movie that you will certainly want to be skipping. Characters are ripped apart and really taken down a few pegs. The Predator isn’t holding back and then of course you also have the Super Predator running around. I feel like we’ve already done the whole Super Predator thing like in the third film but with all the films soft rebooting or at least taking things to a new location, why not go through it again. It is interesting how they switched up the Predator’s motivations a bit here. So now they hunt in order to improve their species through some kind of spinal fluid. It’s like Attack on Titan I guess.

It’s a reasonable explanation for why they hunt but it doesn’t really add or change anything so I don’t have much of an opinion on that. It’s just there I guess. I will always still prefer Aliens to Predators. As for the kid Rory, he has a few scenes that might stretch your disbelief with how he operates the Predator tech but at least he doesn’t immediately figure it out like the girl from Robocop. I’m not a big fan of kids getting a big role in these things since they always become a hostage at some point like how this kid is inevitably grabbed later on. I guess Rory handles the situation decently enough but I just want to get back to the big battles.

The movie easily has the best ending for a Predator film though. It’s like something out of Skyline or Iron Man. The heroes are finally going to have a way to fight back against the Predators. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like the sequel may be coming at this point but if it does I could see this being the very best entry in the series. I would have a whole lot of hype for that one because it’s just such a good ending. It would really change the entire tone and feeling of the franchise and for the better. This would be more of an action series going forward and I am absolutely down with that.

Overall, The Predator is pretty much what you would expect from the series. The Predator goes around bumping everyone off as he dashes around. I do think it is not the weakest entry in the series or anything like that as it destroys the second film but it does feel like the series is completely stagnated. It makes all of the usual mistakes like being ultra violent and having an unlikable cast. That’s why the ending is interesting to me because it would show that the series is finally about to change things. That would be a massive win for the series. Not sure they would succeed but at least it would give them a fighting chance. If we just go back to basics with another Predator showing up to destroy a bunch of random humans then it feels like the series is just going in circles at this point. I’ll give the third film some props for at least massively changing things up.

Overall 3/10

It’s a Dog’s Life Review

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Right from the title of the film I had a bad feeling about this one. The tricky thing about having an animal be the focus of anything is that it increases the risk of some animal violence being around. Let me tell you, that definitely gets awful risky and this film was not able to avoid the issue. As a result I would definitely say it’s a bad film that you should avoid. Most of the characters are rather mean spirited and the tough road that the dog had to travel was simply too challenging.

The movie starts with Wildfire explaining his life. He lives in the Bowery, a tough part of town. He owns the back alleys at least and chases out dogs who try to eat there. It’s just tough keeping up this lifestyle though and there are certainly no frills or benefits here. His life’s goal is to find and destroy his father for leaving his mother when she was still pregnant. Unfortunately for him, Wildfire’s mother will never even talk about the guy. One day his mother disappears so Wildfire is forced to start his journey early. He will end up being involved in dog fights and fashion shows, but will he ever get closer to finding his father? Will he even be able to locate him since he doesn’t really know what the guy looks like? The only thing he does know is the father’s title: Champion Regent Royal. That will have to be enough.

As soon as I mentioned dog fighting I’m sure your eyebrows twitched for a second there. Well, rightfully so as this is the weakest part of the film. So Wildfire figures that his father may have been a fighter based on the title so he doesn’t mind being in the circuit. In fact, he enters into the store to make sure that happens. Unfortunately it’s not a very pleasant sport and we see him get bruised up after each fight. Even when he wins you can’t feel good because you know that means that he beat up another dog. Eventually he is defeated and barely escapes with his life but the whole thing is definitely on the violent side.

Of course the injuries are just makeup and such but it looks quite realistic. This is the kind of film where you’d rather they just made them robotic dogs or something like that so you wouldn’t really worry about the injuries. His owner Patch is also an abusive guy. Both to humans and animals so you don’t like the idea of Wildfire working for him. All of Patch’s scenes are just hard to watch and his toxic romance really didn’t need to be on the screen for any period of time. The sooner that guy was gone the better.

The movie was really going for some rather serious themes here but it didn’t need them. This could have been a nice little Air Bud kind of story and that would have been really good. Of course with Wildfire wanting to take down his father from the start, it’s safe to say that this was never really in the cards. One way or another this was going to be a rather serious film with lots of danger around every corner.

Things start to get a little brighter for Wildfire when he meets a nice old man named Jeremiah. The guy works for the rich Wyndham who enters professional dog shows. The guy doesn’t see any potential in Wildfire but his daughter Dorothy disagrees and bargains that if Wildfire can win a show then Wyndham can’t throw both him and Jeremiah out. Wyndham agrees to the terms and Wildfire finally gets to see the glimmer of what it’s like to live the life of royalty. Certainly it’s far different from how it was in the Bowery.

You never have to wonder about what Wildfire is thinking of something either since the guy is constantly talking. It’s all as thought bubbles I should say but he never quiets down. Wildfire is always thinking about something and has a lot to say. There is pretty much never a moment’s silence in the film. The dialogue is okay though so that’s not too bad. Wildfire’s not a bad lead either. I wouldn’t call him super interesting or anything like that but he gets the job done as the lead.

As for the human characters, well Patch is obviously no good. Aside from him you have Jeremiah who is nice enough. He’s probably the first person who has Wildfire’s back which is important. He’s also loyal enough where he was willing to lose his job to stay with the dog. That’s definitely how a good character would act. Wyndham isn’t nearly as reasonable at first, particularly as he is the one firing Jeremiah. The guy slowly starts to come around but it was an extremely rocky start. To so easily get rid of someone that has faithfully worked for you for so many years? I can’t say I liked Wyndham after that because it was just far too drastic.

Dorothy was nice enough. She doesn’t have a huge role but is the one who preps Wildfire for the matches. Without her he definitely wouldn’t have stood much of a chance so she deserves a lot of credit there. If the whole film had been about the talent shows this would have been a winner. The second half of the film is more like what you would expect in a light hearted adventure. There is a moment of danger when Patch kidnaps Wildfire. I would have certainly cut that out since we didn’t need to bring this awful character back. It was nice to see him get punched out though as opposed to Wyndham falling for the usual blackmail scheme. Instead he just took the guy down a few pegs and showed that he could fight. Now that was a really solid moment.

Overall, It’s a Dog’s Life just really suffers from not being a very fun movie. When bad things are happening to Wildfire, there’s just no way to enjoy the scenes. You can’t enjoy any of the scenes with Patch in it either aside from him getting beaten up so that adds up to a considerable part of the movie. As a dog, Wildfire’s dialogue isn’t quite up to par with the classic writing of this era either. Mix all that together and this is a film you’ll really want to skip. There aren’t any big hooks to draw you into the story and there are much better dog films out there. Since this one loses as its main sub genre, that means it was doomed from the jump.

Overall 3/10

Blast of Silence Review

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When you have a film about an assassin you can try to do it in a stylized way, make the assassin likable, or have him be a very quiet and mysterious figure. I’ve seen a few solid ones with such a premise but this one would not make the list. The lead is insane from the jump and unfortunately ruins the film at every step with his inner monologues. Usually the Noir style of talking to yourself is a lot of fun but put a bad main character into the center and it just doesn’t work this time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Frankie. He doesn’t like anyone and everything ticks him off. He never runs out of things to complain about and is always bragging as well. He seems to think that he’s an expert assassin but the film continues to prove him wrong. Well, Frankie’s got his latest hit ready but along the way he bumps into some old friends. Slowly this starts to distract him and he may have to make a choice between romance or getting the job done. If he doesn’t hurry, he’ll lose everything. Can Frankie turn things around or will he just continue to complain?

As you can probably guess, Frankie is 90% of my issues with the film. He just never stops whining, you haven’t seen a character this whiny in a long time. He’s in self denial the entire time about romance as well. For example in his inner monologues he’s taking shots at Lori and everyone for being normal but then it turns out that he really wants to be with Lori. It’s a pretty awful development there and the scene where he tries to overpower Lori destroys the film early on. He never comes back from that and it’s really fortunate that someone else was at home when he stops by later on.

So Frankie’s an irredeemable villain and as the focus of the film that’s not really a good thing. He’s also just not very good at his job. He’s an assassin so you’d think he would have been around the block a few times but he doesn’t realize that it’s a bad idea to call up the villains to collect the money? After he was openly threatened for trying to quit the job early, he should have just gotten out of there. At the very least, don’t throw away the gun. I have big doubts on his gun skills but at least he might have been able to make a match out of it. Instead he was just out skilled and outgunned right from the start.

If anything it’s only impressive that he has some friends with how cold he acts throughout the film. Everyone will try to talk to him and he just won’t respond or just gives 1 word responses once in a while. The others were trying to be super friendly but you wouldn’t have blamed them if they just left. Lori does her best to be nice which doesn’t ultimately work out for her very well. I am glad she stayed strong in telling Frankie to leave and not allowing him to stay. She also does well in managing this dangerous situation by keeping him at a distance whenever he calls without setting this madman off. With a guy like this you can’t really take any risks.

The only other big character here is Ralph who has a lot of connections. Frankie doesn’t like him but he has to deal with the guy since Ralph knows how to get the guns. Ralph is the kind of guy who will make a deal and then turn on it later on. I don’t really know why he would risk his life trying to double cross Frankie though unless he seriously did not respect the lead’s abilities. It just didn’t seem like a smart play without having more leverage on him. Ralph would have been quite all right if not for pulling that stunt. His arm strength was impressive though. He could choke with Frankie with one hand and it seems like he would have done a lot better if not for a surprise attack.

Ralph isn’t nearly as bad as Frankie but I didn’t like him either. His scenes really drag out with how slowly he talks the whole time. The scenes of him feeding the animals also has you tense the whole time because you’re worried that something will happen although fortunately it does not. Ralph’s a total slob if we’re being honest here to the point where you’re shocked that someone hasn’t taken him out yet. He’s brave enough to be going around blackmailing people but you feel like if he pulled that on any other assassin he would have been taken down in a heartbeat.

The film at least handles the Noir elements well. The city looks suitably shady at all times even when it’s day time out. The only scene without any tension is the dance scene when Frankie has to attend a party and that mostly felt like filler anyway. It’s supposed to feel out of place since Frankie usually wouldn’t allow himself to be caught there. It only ended up happening this time since he liked Lori but couldn’t admit it to himself.

The writing isn’t bad. The dialogue is super weak but that’s more due to the main character than blasting the film’s writing as a whole. The rest of the characters have good dialogue after all. I like the style of Noir dialogue usually, it’s just that Frankie was way too exaggerated the whole time. If he was more serious and mysterious like he thought he was then that would have helped matters. Instead the guy just seems petty and amateurish the whole time. He’s always yelling “danger signals” at himself but they come too late like when Ralph spotted him first. Frankie blames himself for that mistake and acts like it’s rare, but it doesn’t seem to be with how things always go sideways for him here.

Overall, The movie has a conclusive ending but never really recovers into being a solid movie. Frankie just held the film back massively and the whole scene with Lori should have been cut out. You just can’t have a main character be this bad and still work as the lead. It’s just not happening and I wouldn’t even want him as the main villain especially as he isn’t even that effective in his profession. (The man doesn’t even carry a gun so he has to count on contacts to supply him one in time. What if they weren’t able to get the gun in time? He’d be doomed) The main rule of thumb is for a film about a villain to work, the villain’s scenes need to be bearable. Establish him as a villain and keep it moving but don’t go too far and the endless inner monologue doesn’t work in this case. If you’re looking for a good Noir film to check out, there are many, many better options out there.

Overall 3/10