Category Archives: 5 Star Movies

Village of the Damned Review

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It’s time to look at an old film with a rather intense name. Apologies to my younger readers, but given the context it’s not really used as a swear word. Regardless I won’t be mentioning the title for the rest of the review so you only need to see it once! Whenever you’ve got the word “Village” in the title you have to be a little weary because those movies do not have a great track record. While this one is certainly a step up from that infamous film, I can’t say that it really succeeds either. When it comes to horror films, it’s hard to say what the best formula is. It’s either throwing in aliens, monsters, or ghosts. I can tell you now that possession and normal humans are some of the worst horror moves. What’s one other kind that competes with those? Evil kids.

The film starts off with everyone in a random village being knocked unconscious and nobody is able to enter the area. Eventually this odd occurrence ends and everyone wakes up. All seems normal for a while, but two months later a bunch of people get pregnant and the demon kids are born into the world. They look like normal kids, but have slight differences in appearance like their hair and claws. They also have the ability to take control of someone’s mind and can even affect multiple people at once. The government thinks they must be destroyed but Gordon believes that they can be used for good. One of these kids was born to him and Anthea which gives him extra motivation to convert them. Alas, they seem to be getting worse and worse instead of better.

Gordon’s plan may not have gone well, but I would still argue that he had the right idea in part at least. These kids are still just kids so even if they have super powers you can’t just destroy them right away. Locking up or quarantining them made sense though so the government agent had some good points. It’s not as if you can stop them with power or hope to protect everyone, but leaving them in the middle of a village with a ton of innocent kids and civilians is really not the best way to go about this. Gordon was too hopeful. It’s not bad to be optimistic, but you can’t be putting everyone else in danger like that. The only life you should risk is your own when it comes to ideas like this.

Anthea is probably the most tragic character here because she’s trying to just make things as normal as possible and David isn’t making that possible. The kids don’t even try to fit in. From the start they act antagonistically. I suppose they want to rule the world and all, but shouldn’t they not be putting so much attention on themselves? David later admits that they caused too much of a commotion but they could have easily gone under the radar. I suspect they are not quite as intelligent as they would have you believe. After all, they have lost to the humans in every major battle so far. With their abilities the kids should never lose.

Here’s why kids don’t work as main villains anymore than they would work as main characters. For starters, you can’t have a proper fight with them. It’s not like you can punch a kid after all. So all of the scenes with them just involve the kids staring the adults into submission until they destroy themselves. Causing the characters to commit suicide is the main trick that the kids use and it’s not exciting to watch in the slightest. I also always have a hard time buying into the whole hypnosis thing so I’m just over here shaking my head while this is all going on. These guys need to work on their will power so they don’t get wrecked so easily.

I suppose by the end of the film it’s safe to say that these are really just aliens who are taking the form of kids. It’s definitely a unique plot even if the payoff isn’t amazing. I actually prefer the first half as the characters struggle to get into the town and have to figure out a way around the dead zone. I expected that most of the film would revolve around this effect turning off and on with the humans getting closer each time. Instead we are introduced to the kid plot which throws in some tension as some of the parents reject these alien beings, but I’d prefer we have focused on the aliens.

The writing here is pretty solid. It’s got that classic feel to it with every character feigning politeness even when they are being aggressive. The pacing of the film is good as well and it doesn’t drag on. At most the second half might be a little grating just because by that point you realize that Gordon is completely in denial and everyone is dying as a result. You know that the townsfolk will fail even though there was a whole group of them. It may have actually been more interesting to have had the government take the win here rather than letting Gordon get all the credit.

At first I thought Alan was going to be the main character while Gordon would be the second in command. The film did a good job of pulling a bait and switch here as Alan quickly goes from being the lead to one of the less intelligent side characters. He doesn’t even realize Gordon’s final plan despite the character trying to be as clear as possible without tipping anyone off. I guess the guy’s army training just wasn’t quite enough for him to be ready for such mindgames. Gordon’s plan was quite solid though. Keeping your mind busy on something else to avoid the telepathic probes is exactly the kind of trick you should be using here.

Overall, this film does a good job of being an atmospheric horror title. There are no jump scares nor does the film resort to violence to try and get a quick scream. The animals don’t even end up dying because fortunately they were only put to sleep. Even the dog managed to live which is amazing because I feared the worst as soon as he showed up. Still, I can’t give the film a higher score because the kids just aren’t very interesting and their scenes can’t hold their own. It’s really up to the grownups to make the film and they do a good job. If you like the idea of alien kids among us then you should definitely check this out. Otherwise, why are you watching this one?

Overall 5/10

Hot Millions Review

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It’s time to look at an old film about a conman. This is definitely one of those films that you aren’t likely to have heard of in the past. I’m sure it has its own following of course especially as I do buy into the whole “every movie is someone’s favorite” line. Still, there isn’t a whole lot to keep this movie too engaging so while it is a good watch, there isn’t much replay value here.

The film starts with Marcus getting out of jail after being exposed for embezzling lots of money. He decides that he will try again and this time plans to outsmart the computers. (A computer is why he was caught the first time) He tricks a big company into hiring him while under the guise of a successful computer engineer. The main obstacle standing in his way is the fact that there is no way to turn off the computer without a key and the main character can’t risk being caught again. Amidst his trials of trying to get around the computer he gets a secretary who has not been particularly good at any of her jobs. Still, Marcus is a pretty laid back kind of guy and doesn’t mind since it’s not like he plans to stick around anyway. Will Patty ultimately be an ally for him or will she turn out to be an enemy?

Right away you’ll realize that there is no rooting for the main lead. He doesn’t even have some kind of sympathetic reason for embezzling. Marcus just wants to get rich quick and considering that his salary was already making him a ton of money you can see how he is a little on the greedy side. It’s even worse when you consider the fact that if his plan succeeds then a lot of people are gonna end up being fired and the company will be in the red. He is a charismatic guy but there is still no actual reason to root for him. I wanted the company to catch him the whole time, but alas it was not to be.

Then you’ve got Patty who is having a lot of job trouble. Unfortunately you have a hard time taking her side as well. She lucked out by having a nice boss like Marcus but you can’t blame the company for firing her since Patty was late for a week straight. It seems like she was prepared to lie about it, but when they brought up that the computer found out the info there was no going back. A sketchy pair of leads eh?

Then you’ve got the main villain. Gnatpole likes the heroine and dislikes Marcus from the start. He’s definitely a classic company man but one who is distracted way too easily by his thoughts of romance and quickly becomes the worst character in the film. Gnatpole is way too pushy and is definitely an annoyance to everyone around him. It’s too bad because he had some potential. Before the heroine obsession started he fulfilled the role of having the skeptic in the office. In any film with a shifty lead you want to have another character who is absolutely not buying what the lead is selling. The movie just went too far in making him unlikable.

As expected the romance is pretty poor here. It definitely happens quite quickly. At least the film waited til Marcus wasn’t her boss anymore but it definitely didn’t need to be included in the film. Then even after that Marcus encourages Patty to use Gnatpole’s obsession with her to delay him a big which is a dicey choice to say the least. There really didn’t need to be romance here.

The ending is also rather flat. It goes a little too hard in trying to give everyone a happy ending when the two main characters haven’t really earned one at this point. I’m glad that things worked out for the company but it’s very cheesy. The President should especially still be furious since he trusted Marcus so much prior to this. The president was definitely the best character in the film btw. He was a genuinely nice person and did his best to help everyone succeed. The guy may not have used the company’s assets 100% the way they should have been and had a dicey scene in the train, but at least he was a company man through and through.

Part of what makes the plot tricky here is that you have to suspend your disbelief a lot. There are dozens of moments throughout the film where you think it’d all be over. One of the biggest ones is when they actually catch Marcus in the act of trying to steal money from them. He quickly makes up a story about how he was testing their security and all that jazz, but why would they even buy into this? There’s no real reason to take such a story seriously and that should have really made them double think the entire job. Marcus also isn’t very subtle the whole time since he’s desperate to get rich quickly so he can go home. In a way the company brought all of this upon themselves.

Overall, Hot Millions is a pretty unique film but I’ve got to say that it could have been a whole lot more interesting. It can be a little slow and the movie is a little long considering that the plot isn’t all that complicated. There are a bunch of scenes that could be cut out and the film would be better off for it. It is going for the slow burner approach but this isn’t the kind if film that could have a dramatic payoff for the climax so it really doesn’t work. If you’re really in the mood to watch a low key dramatic film about an embezzler trying to outsmart the computer then this is the title for you. Otherwise I’d say to skip this and watch a more exciting one like Ocean’s 11.

Overall 5/10

Meteor Man Review

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It’s time to look at a superhero movie that isn’t very well known. At the very least I definitely hadn’t heard of it before and I consider myself to be a bit of an expert on comic book movies. It’s one of those films that is a little tragic because for the most part it’s really fun. I dare say that it’s a great movie at some points, but then it seriously falters towards the end. There’s one moment in particular that is quite egregious and I’ll get into that later on in the movie.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jefferson. He’s grown up in a pretty tough neighborhood where gangs are pressing ground and the cops can’t handle them. His father is trying to get the community to rise up, but it’s been tough since there are few who actually want to support this. He does a good job of standing up to them, but the gangs are very powerful so eventually the neighborhood is on the losing side. At that point, Jefferson is hit by a meteor and gets super powers. He’s now got super strength, durability, flight, speed, etc. He is effectively a Superman so ending street crime should be easy right?

An interesting dynamic here is that everyone in the town knows that Jefferson is Meteor Man. There aren’t a lot of superhero movies where the hero’s identity is public at least until when Iron Man came out and that sort of changed how secret identities are handled in the movies. It’s a nice angle but Jefferson ruins it because of how timid he is. He spends a lot of the film just running away from the villains or passively watching them.

I’ve got no problem with him doing that when he was a human. That’s fine and if anything that’s actually pretty realistic because we see that whoever stands up to the gang is quickly beaten. The people are too afraid to actually charge him with a crime and that ties the cops’ hands as well. Maybe even the first scene would be fine, but once Jeff sees that he is bullet proof he should not be scared at all. Instead he just keeps letting people get beaten up because he refuses to go after the villains. He just watches them off each time and since they know his true identity you’d think that he would take the mission of stopping them a little more seriously.

The casualties keep on building throughout the film as the villains go after his Dad and then a next door neighbor. Meteor Man waited so long that even his powers started fading away which really shows how he came close to blowing his chance here. He was literally sleeping when they broke into his house and put the family at risk. Everyone easily could have died there and it would have directly been Jeff’s fault.

The worst part about this is definitely the ending though. Jeff’s dog gets hit by the villain and is dying in front of his eyes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Not only was the film repeatedly shooting itself in the foot here, but Jeff didn’t even make an attempt to save his own dog. He just lamented that his powers were fading and rather than use the last of them to save his own pet he just watches. Fortunately another guy with powers shows up and saves the dog, but it’s such a terrible scene. Unless it is actually meant to make you dislike Jeff but I don’t really believe that was the intention. If it was then I suppose I’ve got to admit that the film pulled a fast one on me…but it’s not like that would save the scene.

If ever there was an ending that destroyed a film it was this one. Even the big battle with Meteor Man and the villain is pretty annoying. Why did the guy have to also get super powers? It felt pretty forced and since he is already a better fighter than Jeff it meant that the hero was basically confirmed to lose from the start. Even once Jeff gets the Bruce Lee book he ends up getting wrecked and by the time he actually manages to win you’ve stopped rooting for Jeff. You’d almost rather some other hero comes in to win.

The less said about the climax the better. It’s not like it was devoid of fun, but it does totally encapsulate the missed opportunities in this film. It never should have gotten to that point if Jeff was even a slightly decent hero. It’s a crying shame if you ask me. The film’s at its best when it’s taking advantage of the parody elements in the movie. There’s some fun scenes that poke fun at the whole thing like when they announce who Meteor Man is so casually at a board meeting.

Then there’s the scene in the ally with little kids stealing someone’s purse. The sequence is so surreal that you’ll likely think that it is just a dream for a while. I certainly did so when the scene just didn’t end I was shocked. That’s the kind of scene that is low key excellent. If the film had played to its strengths like that then it may have been better. Another good scene is when Jeff is trying to stick up for the kids, but ultimately has to give up because they keep breaking things.

The humor is actually on point here so there are a lot of fun moments like this. Meteor Man is part comedy after all so you would expect that. The film can surprisingly get pretty serious though so it does a good job of balancing both genres. It’s probably what adds onto the frustration for the average person living in the neighborhood. Imagine literally living next to a super hero and still being robbed the next day.

Aside from the lead the other characters are at least charismatic. Simon, the leader of the villains is cool even though his screen time is very limited. He’s definitely the leader for a reason. Then the other members of the gang are good enough. Jeff’s Dad does a good job of leading the rebellion and while he does endure quite a lot in doing so, he never regrets his actions which is great. He’s tough all the way through to the end. Jeff’s friend Michael is pretty annoying though. He puts everyone in danger by pretending to be the Meteor Man and that’s ultimately part of what puts the hero in such a bad position.

Overall, Meteor Man didn’t really click for me. It’s unfortunate because I liked more of the film than what I didn’t, but the latter scenes just really hurt its case. The final fight even throws some random power level issues in which is rare for live action. There’s a good movie in here, but the lead just does his best to sabotage it at every corner. It’s why it can be very difficult to have a good film with a bad main character. It’s possible of course, but it’s never going to be as good as it should have been. If you can get around the fact that you’re gonna be a bit annoyed during the film then I’d recommend checking it out. Otherwise you should definitely check out Steel instead.

Overall 5/10

Lover Come Back Review

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It’s time to look at a film that basically takes all of its ideas from another one without managing to do any of the areas better than the original. It’s not a bad movie, but there is little reason to watch it so long as the other one exists. I suppose if you just want a second chance to experience this kind of story then that makes sense.

The film starts off with Carol trying to snag a deal for her insurance company. Unfortunately, she is stopped by Jerry, a top ranking member of a different firm who has typically had a lot of luck in taking down clients. He uses whatever methods it takes to secure these guys whether it’s through parties or champagne. Carol decides to report him, but there really isn’t much that she can do since everyone is on his side. She realizes that the only way to stop him is to steal his latest advertising client who has created something called VIP. She finds this “Dr. Taylor” and tells him that she’ll do whatever it takes to keep him from Jerry. Little does she know that she found the wrong Taylor and is actually talking with Jerry. Jerry decides that he’ll have some fun dating her as he hides the truth.

The whole romance is built off of a deception so of course it isn’t particularly good. Now the question is how does this differ from the last version right? Well, I think Carol comes off as even more desperate in this version. She’s basically going with Taylor in part to spite Jerry and gets manipulated rather easily. I think it’s fair to say that she legitimately liked him as well, but she’s definitely way too desperate. It also doesn’t help the film’s ending either. It’s almost a little crazy how sudden the last batch of scenes are. We get some time jumps and a lot of changes in the status quo but at the end of the day Carol is in a pretty tough spot. There isn’t really a lot that she can do in her position. I think the film should have had the two characters come to some kind of agreement before the kid coming into the picture. Otherwise it’s more like she didn’t have a whole lot of options here. The ending was very weak.

Back to Carol, I think her character would have been better if she could have at least had some moments where she was winning against Jerry. The film goes out of its way to put her in sticky situations the whole time. Even when she calls the board against Jerry he manages to sneak in a win by bribing the witness. Of course the bulk of the plot is built around how desperate she is to win, but making the rivalry slightly more balanced would have helped I’d say. There’s a lot of ways you can do it while still keeping within the comedy framework.

So I wouldn’t give Carol a thumbs up here, but of course the same will be said for Jerry. He’s a fun character who definitely wins all of his debates with Carol, but at the end of the day he definitely isn’t a good person. He made that clear with how he tricked Carol. His tactics for getting clients wasn’t even all that bad but there isn’t really an excuse for the rest of the film. He was willing to go all the way with his tricks. I also dare say that he is a lot less remorseful than the guy from the last film. This one is still willing to win even by the end of the film and only ended up backing down because he wasn’t prepared for the drunk candy. Otherwise he would have run off into the sunset.

Fortunately we do have Peter around to help the film out. He may not be quite as tough and calculating as his previous version, but he’s pretty good. I did like how he took the reigns when he went back to the company for a day. His plan may have backfired but it was the attempt that counts. Peter may not be great at standing up for himself, but he was fine with handling things honorably. He is even the one who told Jerry to apologize even though that ultimately didn’t happen. His humor just works well for each of his scenes and he also reminds us on the importance of having a bodyguard.

There’s also Dr. Taylor, but his screen time is pretty brief since he is being impersonated for most of the film. He is a pretty good scientist though and does keep up his end of the bargain. The heroes gave him complete freedom to do whatever he wants so that’s on them. The guy tried to keep his distance from humanity and it’s hard to blame him. They probably didn’t understand his genius or he would have been employed as a top researcher by now.

The film did a good job of reusing almost all of its backgrounds from older movies as well. They were definitely pretty efficient with the budget which is always good. There’s one part of the film where Jerry and Peter go on a trip and the film does a good job of actually changing their character designs. Jerry even grows a beard and sort of looks like a totally different actor. I wonder if they actually waited a few days to film those scenes or if the hair was fake. It certainly looked real enough to me.

Overall, This is definitely a fun romance film for the most part, but the weak ending really does hurt it as well as the romance itself being pretty questionable. The pacing is good and the writing is solid, but the film just could have used a bit more charm. If you haven’t seen any films with this kind of plot before then it’s a good way to start off. Otherwise I’d sooner recommend watching a different Doris Day feature. I’d say that the cast of characters in most of the other films are a little stronger. Peter really has to hold the whole film up on his own and that’s pretty difficult. Now her marathon is over and I’ll be going back to other movies. It was a good run though.

Overall 5/10

A Star is Born (1954) Review

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It’s time to look at the second adaption of A Star is Born. The film plays it pretty straight compared to the first movie so there aren’t a lot of changes. Mainly it’s the heroine’s backstory that has been altered for this one. In the first film she had a modest upbringing and wanted to follow her dreams of being a movie star. In this one she is already a pretty talented singer but is then given the opportunity to be a star thanks to being noticed by Norman Maine. She can’t turn down an opportunity like that right?

The basic plot revolves around both Norman and Esther. Norman used to be a very big star, but he became an alcoholic and ever since then his talents have suffered. Nobody wants to work with him at this point and even though he is under contract that may not be the case for long. One night he spots Esther and decides that she is someone who should be a part of Hollywood. He gets her the audition and her talents take her the rest of the way. They get married, but the problem is that Esther’s fame quickly eclipses Norman and his ego isn’t ready for this. He starts going back into his spiral of doom and threatens to destroy both of their careers once and for all.

This movie does try to make Norman a little less antagonistic although his being drunk is a crucial part of the movie. In the original he broke Esther’s Oscar statue while at least here is showed some restraint there. Still, he’s not a character that you are likely going to root for. He is simply too far gone and from the start he gets hurt too quickly when people don’t recognize him. Even in the first minutes of the film before Esther is introduced he is already getting himself into a lot of trouble. As the judge says later on, he got a lot of advantages that nobody else had and yet he squandered them all. Even at the end of the film he takes the easy way out. Sure, he was doing it for Esther’s sake so he wouldn’t sabotage her anymore, but at the same time that’s also saying that he couldn’t stop his bad habits.

As for Esther, she’s definitely a solid character. I’d say that she was more likable here than in the first film as well. As she was already a singer she was well equipped for Hollywood from the start. She never felt out of her depth or anything like that and dived right into the action. Even once the difficulties with Norman started to arise she always put it behind her and acted as always. Once it became obvious that her success wasn’t helping matters she was willing to throw it all away to help him. Esther’s definitely a selfless heroine and one that is easy to root for.

Libby serves as one of the antagonists here to an extent. He may be Norman’s agent, but he definitely doesn’t like the guy. He waits for the day it all catches up to Norman and seems to be bitter about all the times Norman threw him through windows or caused a general mess of things. He gloats a lot by the end. He’s a pretty fun character and definitely made sure Norman did not recover. Meanwhile Niles is a guy from Hollywood who actually was looking out for Norman. He did his best all things considered. While he was not quite able to help him in the end you can’t say that he didn’t try.

Then you have Danny who is probably in the most tragic situation. He helped Esther get a career but was then thrown away once she had this gig. He was always trying to help her, but got friend zoned in favor of Norman. Still, he never stopped being her friend so that was definitely nice of him. Even by the end he is the one who comes in with the speech to finally help her get a hold of the situation.

As for the musical aspect of the film, it was okay although I can’t really say that the songs were my thing. They sounded well enough but the beats weren’t fast enough and the singers were only okay. You’re not going to find anyone at the level of “Let It Go” here. Not every film needs to have a standout number like that though. The scene of Esther running about the house showing her latest number to Norman also was maybe a tad too long. The musical did show restraint with the number of songs though, at times you may not have even known this was a musical to be honest. Songs are featured, but it’s not quite as constant as something like High School Musical. Of course, it helps that this movie is about 3 hours so you have time for both the songs and the plot.

The writing is pretty solid as well. The characters are pretty quick witted. Norman’s sudden personality shifts from being aggressive to normal are very rapid which works well for how his character went. The romance between him and Esther is pretty weak though. It’s hard to see it escalating so quickly considering that he almost ruined her dancing number and then comes across as very over the top. She goes from treating him as a nuisance right away to quickly becoming more than friends. It all happens so quickly and I dare say that the original one made more sense. At least there you could also say that it was part gratitude since he helped her from nearly being penniless to being a star. Here? He forgot about her for several weeks after convincing her to quit her job. She shouldn’t be all that grateful after such a turn of events.

Overall, A Star is Born has its solid moments, but still does suffer from a pretty weak ending. It’s definitely not a very satisfactory way to end the movie as in a sense Norman lost. He proved everyone else right and while Esther’s legacy hasn’t been tarnished, it would have been good for both of them to have gotten their win. Esther ensured that Norman wouldn’t be forgotten with her final line in the film so as always she did a good job of making the best of the situation. As the movie is also very long there isn’t a whole lot of replay value here, but it’s not a bad movie. It’s good for a one time watch at least and as long as you can get around the fact that you can’t root for Norman then I’d recommend checking it out.

Overall 5/10

Down A Dark Hall Review

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It’s time to look at a very recent horror film that I hadn’t heard of before watching it. This film really flew under the radar. Granted, I’m not the biggest expert on films coming out and all that, but I like to think that I still know most of them right away. This one is actually not bad for a horror title. The genre in general has a hard time succeeding with me, but this one avoided most of the pitfalls.

The film starts with our lead Kit getting into trouble yet again. After her father died she has turned into a bit of a juvenile delinquent and the schools can’t handle her. Fortunately, the head mistress of a school for the troubled shows up and offers to take Kit in. Since at this point it’s between the school and prison, the parents take Kit there. One big red flag is that the entire school is made up of only a handful of other kids who arrive the day after Kit. All of them have one specific talent which appears to be growing fast under this school’s tutelage. Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all!

Of course in a film like this it is never so easy for the heroes. It turns out that the villains have a convoluted plan involving possession and body transfers using the souls of the dead. As the main characters are fairly young it isn’t as if they have a whole lot of willpower. Also, while they have gotten mixed up in their fair share of crimes, they haven’t become total villains yet. It seems like the spiritual villains here are bad to the core and so they have more willpower. It shouldn’t work like that of course but the only heroic spirit here isn’t able to d a single thing. I’m talking about Kit’s father. He shows up once in a while but ultimately doesn’t really contribute. It’s hard to say if he could even see Kit half the time. I want to say that he couldn’t because the alternative is that he was turning a blind eye to the situation.

The film has some intense visuals like the best friend being chained up and turned into a demon and the house being on fire made for a solid climax. However, the jump scares are pretty forced and do not work so well. It’s not really an intense horror title in that sense as the atmosphere may be pretty tense but the film can’t capitalize on it. The good side of this is that the film dodged the animal violence angle and isn’t too violent. It’s more of a slow burner and then in the climax everything starts happening at once. I do think the villains wanted too long to make their move though.

The way their possession works seems highly inefficient. It’s like they have to nurture the kid’s talent which then turns them into a better vessel. Then they just play some more and run around until they have enough power to do something else. Problem is that it is still easy to kick them out when you have a third party helping and then their plan is down the drain. I guess it’s nice for the heroes to actually have a supernatural opponent they can take on for a change though.

Most of the girls don’t really get much in the way of character but the ones who do get a personality are reasonable. Kit is a solid lead, she never backed down when the bully (Veronica) would make threats. She would probably lose the fight but at least Kit won’t run away. Veronica gets a lot of character development as well and is decent by the end but from the initial threats I feel like she is pretty far gone at this point. The others are all red shirts (If you saw the original Star Trek show then you’ll know what I mean) so it gets pretty dicey for them. That’s why you should always try to stick by the main character so her plot armor can protect you. Otherwise it’s basically over.

Kit’s parents are actually pretty reasonable here as well. Sending her to the school makes sense in the context that they tried every other option and they kept not working. Plus, they at least did tell her to stay in contact and rebound guy #1 told her that they’d come get her if she didn’t like the experience. Anything shady happens and they’ll be right over. Instead of actually doing this when given the opportunity Kit just pretends that it’s all okay. She should have spoken up though as there’s not much that the head mistress could do by this point. Even if she slammed the phone or tried to tell the parents not to come that wouldn’t fly. Then they could have done an investigation or something. If Kit was staying to help the other kids and felt that this would put them at risk then I suppose it’s a fine call. Still, I thought it was good that the parents gave her a choice like that and clearly still cared a lot for her safety.

Then you have the teachers who all have their own motivations for being here. The music teacher is the only one who is really out of his depth here and naturally that leads him into the romance plot which fortunately doesn’t get much screen time. It’s all way too sudden to be believable. Naturally the head mistress gets the biggest role out of these characters and she certainly makes sure the characters know that she is the leader. She mostly acts the part of the polite but stern mistress at the school and never really breaks the act to be real crazy. She’s a fun villain and you definitely want to have a composed mastermind character like her at the ready.

Overall, This definitely isn’t a horror movie that you’ll still be talking about in a few days. It definitely could have been a lot worse though as at least it is still pretty entertaining and doesn’t go too far into trying for shock value. At the same time there isn’t really much of a reason to check this movie out in particular. There are better horror titles to watch so only see this if you’re a big horror buff.

Overall 5/10

Airplane II: The Sequel Review

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It’s time to look at the second Airplane film. The first one was surprisingly good with how many of the jokes landed. In a way you could argue that by all accounts it shouldn’t have worked. The writing had to be on point to pull it off. Parodies in general are hard to land for that reason because if the writers aren’t excellent then it’ll fall to pieces. Unfortunately Airplane II is a pretty steep drop and effectively plays out a bit like how the first one could have been if it wasn’t firing on all cylinders. Airplane II is content to reuse all of the jokes from the first film and never finds its own identity.

After the events of the first film, Ted has been taken to an asylum for the insane. He manages to break out though and sneaks aboard another airplane that is heading to the Moon. Most of the same crew from the first airplane are back so somehow they all weren’t arrested for what happened. Ted is determined to finally get back with Elaine, but she doesn’t think it is meant to be. With everyone going crazy on the airplane, can anyone survive this time? One thing’s for sure, they won’t forget this experience!

Right away you’ll notice how the film is a carbon copy of the first. Not only do they reuse almost all of the gags, but they even have them all appear in the same order. Most of the events are just like the first film including the plot. This may be part of the parody elements that they are using for the film but it really doesn’t work. What made the first film a success was its risque humor that attacked everything but as a result managed to not be taking itself too seriously. It had the potential to be problematic and naturally not all of the jokes landed, but it was pretty reasonable. The film was funny and miraculously managed to be a success. This one isn’t nearly as funny because we’ve seen it all already.

If you already know all of the punchlines to the jokes, then the build up will naturally not be anywhere near as effective. That’s the problem that this film has throughout its entire run. There are a handful of decent moments like the Hal 9000 parody and I did like the court case for Ted. Those are the only unique parts of the film and they were good so I feel like the movie would have done a lot better if it had focused on being a sequel. Honestly I wouldn’t have minded if the whole film was in the court room. A change in scenery probably would have been good. We also lose some pretty decent characters like the air pilot who stepped in when everyone else was panicking.

An underused character is definitely Ted’s rival. The guy barely gets to appear or really do anything to be honest. It could have been interesting to have a contrast to Ted. A character who was actually pretty competent and tough or something like that. After all, Ted had a lot of potential here. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of his scenes are the entertaining ones. He’s a very exaggerated character who isn’t very smart which makes for a pretty fun dynamic. Again, I refer you to the court scenes. So seeing him compete with this guy could have been very entertaining to be honest.

Again, it’s not that the film was a complete bore or anything. The jokes that were good in the first film are still pretty decent just played out. Some gags are still fun like the weapons getting through the scanner and the people dying after listening to Ted. Then others that were already painful like the pilot’s gimmick didn’t get any better. They say that lightning doesn’t strike twice and this is the perfect example of that in film.

I feel like this review is going in circles so time to start wrapping things up. I will say that the Star Wars homage at the beginning was pretty clever. It does end in a pretty iffy way which sort of set the tone for the rest of the film but the actual idea itself wasn’t half bad. The graphics aren’t half bad when they show up but for the most part are complete non factors. This isn’t the kind of film with a whole lot of effects after all. Just the few space visuals is what you can expect to get.

Overall, Airplane II isn’t a good follow up to the first film. I think it probably would have been a lot better if I hadn’t seen the first film. If you see the two out of order then there’s a chance it would work better, but then of course it would be at the expense of the first film and I’m not sure if you really want to do that. It’s why complete word for word remakes typically aren’t done anymore. If you’re gonna experience the same story then you want a bunch of new wrinkles in the mix. This one just doesn’t add enough of them and ends up failing. It can still be decently entertaining of course, but it’s nowhere near the level of quality that the first film had.

Overall 5/10

The Mummy’s Shroud Review

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The Mummy has returned to usher in a new era for horror films. At least, that’s likely the intent here, but the series has made some mistakes in the past so we’ll see if this film can really take home the gold. While it does ring more true to the classic Mummy mythos than the previous film, it does make its share of mistakes. I don’t think you’ll be bored though. We have a pretty colorful cast of characters here and at least one character does try to fight back against the Mummy.

The film starts off with a flashback about how an Egyptian king was overthrown and everyone got murdered. We fast forward to the modern day where Dr. Basil and the rich Stanley have broken into the tomb. They steal the coffin and head back home to show it off. Unfortunately it appears that the coffin had a curse within it that has begun to affect everyone who walked into the tomb. There is now a murderous Mummy on the loose and the bodies are starting to pile up. Stanley wants to leave, but the cops are keeping everyone in one place. Can he get out alive?

Stanley may be a predictable character, but he sure is an entertaining one. He’s the classic rich guy who doesn’t care about lives. He just wants to turn a profit and let everyone else take the fall. This is especially evident when he tries to discredit Basil and throw him away for life. Stanley ultimately only seems to care about his family, everyone else is considered expendable. He’s certainly an antagonist, but a fun one nonetheless. You’re still rooting for him against the Mummy. He did make a lot of big mistakes though. If you’re trying to flee the country you probably shouldn’t wait in a dark alley for someone to come and help. Especially when you’re rich and the locals know it. Ah well, Stanley tried.

Then you have Dr. Basil who is reasonable I guess. He was annoying in his final scenes, but I guess that makes sense since he was poisoned. Still, it makes for a scene that drags on quite a bit as an old lady makes fun of him and then he’s taken out of the picture. Speaking of which, the old lady was annoying as well. She’s basically just here to rub the deaths in the faces of the victims before they perish. She doesn’t have much point here except to egg everyone on and get them into trouble. I mean, she performs the role quite admirably of course, but cutting out the drool in her scenes would have helped me take her seriously.

I consider Stanley to basically be the main character here, but Paul and Maggie get big roles as well. Paul is the son of Stanley and unlike his father he wants to work his way to the top. He doesn’t want to be drunk on power and sets his sights on stopping the Mummy instead of fleeing. Meanwhile Maggie knows how to read Egyptian and was against going into the tomb in the first place. Still, now she may be the only one with the power to stop this situation. It puts her in a tricky spot. Both characters are pretty reasonable. I do think Maggie made a big mistake in going to some random fortune teller to try and dispel her fears though. Even if the fortune teller wasn’t evil, did she really think anything could be done at that stage in the game?

I also have to give the cops some credit here. They were on point for the most part even if they didn’t really uncover much in their investigations. At least they were trying to help out and they certainly managed to be a thorn in Stanley’s side. The chief finally even relented in the end so at least he could try and save some victims. He maybe should have done that a bit sooner, but I think he just wanted to axe Stanley. Not the most heroic move of course, but it is what it is. Stanley’s wife also looks pretty good here. She’s always being passive aggressive and really enjoys the fact that she never went into the tomb.

So, most of these are positives, but what are the negatives? Well, pretty much the usual Hammer stuff. The film can be a bit violent here with everyone getting bumped off. People are strangled, burned to death, crushed, etc. The Mummy makes sure to take everyone down at some point or another. The Mummy also doesn’t make for a particularly good antagonist. He’s slow and you can’t believe that he is beating everyone the whole time. Even if he is bullet proof you can at least out run the guy. The only one I can’t blame is Basil since he was sick. At least the photographer tried fighting back though. You’ll feel bad for Stanley’s right hand man though since the guy gets the short end of the stick throughout the film.

The movie’s humor and writing were on point though. This one actually was a step ahead of most of the other Mummy titles. It could have definitely been a lot worse. At least it’s entertaining throughout and has a quick pace. If you’re going to do a Mummy film then you can definitely take a lot of cues from this one. It knew how to properly develop the characters after all.

Overall, The Mummy’s Shroud is actually decent. The shroud itself is actually important by the end so it’s also a title that makes sense. That’s always a good idea as opposed to just having that in the title to sound cool. The slasher elements we could have done without, but it’s handled in a less graphic way than it likely would nowadays. I won’t give the film a positive score, but it’s not bad either so it lands smack in the middle. If this film sounds like your cup of tea then you should check it out. At the very least, this film will keep you guessing as to who will get bumped off first.

Overall 5/10

The Remains of the Day Review

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It’s time to look at an old drama film. It’s definitely got a pretty unique premise although the film’s long run time does stretch it to the max at times. It’s definitely a unique movie nonetheless, but you probably won’t be on the main character’s side by the end. He made too many mistakes too many times. After a while you just gotta walk away.

The film starts off in the present, but only stays there briefly. Stevens is going to meet with Miss Kenton as he hopes to re-hire her for the mansion. There just aren’t enough people around to service the place and she was always one of the best. However, a lot of things have changed since they last met. Then we get a flashback which goes for about 95% of the film to back when they used to work for Darlington. See, Stevens is the head butler and he trains everyone else. Miss Kenton was hired as the main housekeeper. Then you have a bunch of other staff who show up as needed and Stevens’ father who is the under butler. At first all is well, but then the head of the house, Lord Darlington starts to seemingly side with the Nazi’s. Making matters even worse is the fact that Stevens’ father is too old to be working and keeps making mistakes. Will Stevens make the right call here?

Unfortunately he never does. Stevens is constantly making the wrong calls throughout the film. He’d rather overlook his father’s mistakes than call him out on it. Likewise, he rarely has regard for anyone else. He’s very quick to distance himself and takes everything Miss Kenton says super personally. While to an extent it’s not good to get caught up in the politics of the office, he ends up taking it too far here. When someone asks him a question he always pretends not to have any clue what they are talking about. Then when his boss Darlington starts to go over the edge with firing employees and such, he just watches and obeys. He even goes through with firing the girls even though they had been great workers.

You just can’t sympathize with the guy at all. All the scenes in the modern day just hurt Stevens further. He’s not a good lead and Miss Kenton made the right move in leaving. That romance angle wasn’t handled too well though. She hints that she was only marrying the other guy because Stevens wasn’t paying her any attention. If so, did she truly love the guy? That seems like a textbook rebound if you ask me. If that guy was second fiddle, then that doesn’t seem like it’ll be a great arrangement. Kenton was certainly great at her job but that was unlikely to be recognized in such a place.

Darlington seems reasonable for a while, but as the film goes on he starts to get pretty iffy. The scene where he has Stevens fire the two girls shows how far he was gone by that point. The new owner of the house is a lot more likable though. His name is Lewis and we also see him in the flashbacks. He was the only guy to stand up to this alliance from the start and warned that things wouldn’t be as rosy as they appeared. He ended up being quite right. I wouldn’t have minded seeing more of him. The guy was definitely a fun character.

As I mentioned, the film is over 2 hours though. You’re probably wondering what else they could do in 2 hours and that’s just it…there’s not much more of a plot to talk about in this period of time. The rest is all about the drama and as you can imagine that is hard to hold a film with. The dialogue is good and the writing is solid, but the characters aren’t very likable. Right from the start they’re all warned not to start romance with the other employees, but nobody listens including the main characters. As a result they fall into the same dilemmas that they were warning against at the start.

The characters also play a very passive role in the film. As the events are transpiring they don’t actually do anything about them. To their defense, there is not much that they actually could do, but it does limit how exciting the film can get. As I mentioned, this one’s a pure drama so excitement isn’t one of the priorities. At least the film doesn’t really make any mistakes either. It just goes through the motions.

Overall, The Remains of the Day is a fundamentally sound movie. It makes no real errors and just proceeds to go through its plot without making any mistakes. At the same time, there is no real hook to the film either. It’s almost as if it’s on auto pilot. By the second half of the film you are either really invested in the characters or your interest will have completely died out. It will certainly end up being one of the two. Still, if you haven’t seen a film like this then it’s a good idea to. By “a film like this” I mean a movie that plays and it’s like you’re a spectator. There’s nothing good or bad about it. It’s just going through the motions. It’s like watching the medium in its purest form in a sense.

Overall 5/10

A Star is Born Review

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It’s time to look at the original version of A Star is Born. It’s definitely a title that I’m sure just about everyone is familiar with thanks to all of the remakes. Does it really hold up to such an illustrious legacy though? It’s not a bad film, but the second half does ultimately end up hurting the movie. It’s an ending that isn’t particularly great and one character is pretty annoying the whole time.

The film starts off with a girl named Esther expressing her desire to be an actress. Her family almost literally laughs her out of the house so her grandmother tells her to pursue her dreams. Esther heads on the train to Hollywood and gets ready to be famous. The problem is that there are a lot of other people who want to be famous and so she has hit a dead end. She meets a guy named Danny who has some connections, but instead of a part in the picture she is relegated to maid service. Still, this works out as she is noticed by washed up actor Norman who still has a lot of influence within the company. He’s happy to help her get famous so that they can get married, but when she begins to exceed his popularity can he handle the pressure?

One thing I’ve noticed about a lot of the old school male leads is that most of them seem to be really insecure. The instant that the heroine passes them they start getting really whiny and petty. Unfortunately Norman is no exception. He crashes her party and sulks for the majority of the movie. It’s easy to forget that they’re together at times. I’d give him credit for retiring and all, but he then starts to get into fights and tarnishes her reputation. He even gets thrown into the asylum for his antics. Sure, Norman’s over the hill, but he was famous for a while so you’d think that he could at least enjoy that part. Of course, how famous he ever was is probably debatable since nobody seems to even know the poor guy.

Esther is certainly a much better character. Her only weakness is that she gets emotional very quickly as she cries if you insult her. Fortunately I’d say that showbiz went well for her and has toughened her up by the end. She is able to put up a strong front and her talent was shown to be the real deal. She didn’t just go to Hollywood, she excelled while she was there. It’s also good that her granny was around to keep her on the right track as she almost made a big mistake at the end of the film. So, Esther was solid, but I think if she was less emotional then she would have been even better.

Meanwhile we have Danny, who was an interesting character. His voice is incredibly memorable so odds are that it is the part about him that you will remember the most. I’m not sure if it was intentionally humorous or not, but it did make him fun. His first scene was a bit rough though as he starts yelling as Esther for no reason. That scene probably could have been cut out since it makes absolutely no sense. He pretty much gets written out once Norman shows up though. Norman’s pr agent makes for an intense, albeit mean spirited character. He’s good at his job and he can even fight so you can’t ask for much more than that. Meanwhile the owner of the company is a nice enough guy. He kept trying to help Norman even when the actor made that difficult.

As for the ending, while it was unexpected I can’t say that it was good. If anything it just makes Norman look a whole lot worse than he was looking already. Rather than accept the new status quo and turn his act together he figures that it’s time for desperate measures. His answer is never the proper answer to anything. It’s just a way to escape a problem, not a way to solve one. I wonder if the newer films will switch that ending. I hope they do since it will definitely help the character be a little more redeemable.

As for the writing, it’s pretty solid for the most part. When the film attempts some humor scenes they tend to work well like Norman’s beer with a touch of soda gag. The romance isn’t handled quite as well as it’s hard to take Norman seriously since it seems like he typically likes flirting with everyone. It doesn’t make him look all that genuine but I suppose we can give him the benefit of the doubt. Esther just seems a little too trusting and quick to romance as well. Given that her goal is to be the best, I feel like romance would just be a big distraction for her. Ah well. The film’s pacing is pretty solid and although the film is fairly long it never drags on which is always important.

Overall, A Star is Born is a reasonable film. I wouldn’t call it amazing, but it was passable. The idea of someone walking into Hollywood and then rising to the top is a classic, but consistent premise. If executed well it makes for a nice, uplifting story. If it’s cashed in then it ends up being super cheesy and you wonder what happened to the other actors for them to all be surpassed in such a short amount of time. I’ll probably see the remakes soon and I get the feeling that they may have the edge this time, but if you haven’t seen the original it’s probably worth checking out. It is a classic after all.

Overall 5/10