After checking out the rest of the films in this franchise; it’s only natural that I watch the latest installment. If you’ve seen my previous reviews…then you’ll know that I’m not really a fan of the series. Still, Smaug got a lot of hype and maybe he could single handily save the film. A guy can hope right? Time to see if this film was a cut above the rest!

It wasn’t. I usually leave that for the end, but it could be an interesting way to start off the review. After I discuss the plot; I will discuss how the film could have improved and gotten away from the negatives that buried the other films. If I’m lucky, the director will notice these pointers before it’s too late to alter the final entry in the franchise.

In one of the plots; Bilbo and friends want to infiltrate Smaug’s lair so that they can steal the ultimate jewel and get the rest of the rebels to join them. It will be a tough ordeal, but they are confident that Bilbo can succeed. If only Bilbo’s “friends” were actually on his side….. Meanwhile, Legolas and Tauriel decide to take down a lot of Orcs. They take many of their opponents down with ease and they are definitely excellent at hand to hand combat. Legolas needs to take down the general and he may have to fight the army on his own because Tauriel has things to attend too. Finally, Gandalf The (not so) Brave decides to check out some rumors. Is it possible that Sauron still lives? Let’s just say that Gandalf looks pretty awful in his subplot.

All right, we’ve got the plot out of the way. Now, we can discuss what holds this franchise back. Let’s start with the classic Animal Violence. There’s not much to say about this negative. The only way to improve upon this mistake is to completely get rid of those scenes. We don’t need to see the animals get hurt and the riders should lead off into battle without horses. Animal violence is easily one of the biggest mistakes that a film can make and this series typically pulls it off.

Next up, the fight scenes. This film had a lot of action and yet…I didn’t care for the fight scenes. There are two main reasons for this. One, it’s old style action, which means that they’re just clanging swords and stabbing each other. There isn’t much in the way of choreography and you can’t get into the fights. We all know that the orcs are just going to be slaughtered and that the elves are going to take an easy win.

The action is mainly bloodless, but they try to make it as violent as they can. From “epic” sword stabs to complex maneuvers that make you feel bad for the villain. Blows under the belt, to the eye, or anywhere like that are basically not fun to watch. I’d rather have a classy fight where both opponents give it their all. Villains don’t play fair, but we don’t need to see both sides stoop to such levels to win a fight.

Fixing this problem should be easy in theory. The fight scenes would look better if they weren’t so ancient. Instead of trying to make the fights violent without blood, just make the actual fights more interesting. A little martial arts, or a longer sword fight. Less minions being effortlessly defeated and a few more challenges. As it stands, the fight scenes aren’t much better than the talking scenes.

Unfortunately, this next hole is a lot tougher to correct. The fact that none of the characters in the franchise are really cool. We get a lot of the stereotypes. The cowardly hero, the “hardcore” but deadly fighter, the corrupt king, the tough female warrior, etc. None of them really get past their stereotypes and any development that is gained does not help. I wouldn’t say that Tauriel and Legolas are bad characters. They’re decent, but their lines are pretty generic and they try wayyy too hard to be cool. There’s a difference between trying to be cool and actually being really cool.

Bilbo is not as bad as Frodo, but he’s not much better either. The ring is already starting to corrupt him and he doesn’t really try to resist it…at all. Bilbo is also quick to praise the villain in hopes of escape and he lacks courage. I just can’t root for him. The dwarf who wants to be king is awful and he turned out to be a big crook. He turned against Bilbo for no reason and he seems to be losing his mind. I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if he did! The rest of the heroes tend to give up quickly and they actually desert Bilbo at one point. That’s pretty unacceptable. Gandalf continues to shock and amaze us all as he keeps on losing. We get that he’s only a human with some magic, but he’s always reminding us of this fact. Just by looking at Sauron; Gandalf is quickly defeated and humiliated. That’s not what I really want to see from my heroes right now. I expect much greater things from them! At this point, I’d say that the characters are a lost cause. We can’t win them all I suppose.

Smaug did not impress me either. He talks a pretty good game, but he was completely humiliated by Bilbo…wait for it…Baggins! Bilbo kept mocking him during the entire fight and Smaug was too slow to hit anyone. The dwarves really made him look bad and I can’t really see him as a cool character anymore. I can only hope that he looks impressive in the sequel, but I highly doubt it. He ended up like Sauron…..an underwhelming villain.

Tauriel is one of the new characters in the film so she can get her own write up as well. She wasn’t bad, but as referenced earlier…she was pretty generic. I feel like we’ve seen her character dozens of times before. I didn’t care for her subplot with the dwarf, but at least she can fight pretty well. While her character description may seem negative; I still say that she wasn’t a bad character. She could have used some development and more scenes, but she did well. She’s definitely a lot better than 90% of the other characters.

Ironically, this film didn’t even have a great soundtrack. Usually, the films in this continuity had a decent soundtrack and it provided the viewer with a little relief. At least, it would help one to not fall asleep. (Unfortunately, the music was not potent enough to keep me up for this franchise, but I expect to be wide awake for the final film) I don’t remember any opera themes and the rest of the tunes were uninspired. I really do not like the happy Hobbit theme that plays in these films and the rest aren’t much better.

There is some romance in the film, but it wasn’t terrible. It was completely unnecessary and didn’t add anything to the story, but it didn’t get a lot of screentime. It got overshadowed by how awful the characters could be. A running joke in the series is how easily the mind can be defeated. Bilbo lacked willpower, the (future) King couldn’t control himself, Gandalf can’t control the ring….etc. It’s basically game over for everyone.

Also, I have to say that the special effects are pretty bad. This is a 2013 film and the effects don’t show this. Sauron’s brief cameo is the only time where we get to see some cool energy power. Unfortunately, that’s just not good enough for me. The rest of the film still looks like it could have been made in the 70’s and that’s a quick turn off to me as a viewer. I need good CGI and effects or a good background. If you’re missing both of these….then there’s really not much hope for the film.

Overall, this film didn’t fare any better than the earlier installments. It lacked charm and heart. If this film couldn’t save the franchise for me…then nothing will. I’ll likely catch the final film in theaters or on dvd at some point. I still need to finish the saga and prove that the Super Mario Brothers film was better. I don’t recommend this film and you would be better off watching Pokemon. That show didn’t fall into any of the major holes and it has a pretty solid main character as well.

Overall 2/10