Suggested by Destroyer What’s a guy with a gun going to do against a Kaiju? That’s probably what you’re thinking here and I definitely get it. Copperhead has no real options for victory here and should be almost immediately crushed by Biollante as the fight begins. There just isn’t any real defense against a Kaiju’s attack and this guy has no secret tricks up his sleeve or game changing powers to alter the outcome. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Destroyer Copperhead isn’t the most powerful fighter and he will be going down here. The guy has some basic durability and slight strength but it’s not really something that will make a Kaiju nervous. As soon as Biollante starts powering up one of those acid energy blasts then it’s all over. There just isn’t much that Copperhead could really do to try and defend himself here and there is certainly no escape. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Destroyer So Biollante is a very powerful Kaiju and we’ve established that but she’s not going to do much against the man, the legend, Kamina! Kamina has so much power within his soul that he can operate his robot at a high level even when it was a fairly weak one. He fought hand to hand with an alien and doesn’t know the meaning of surrender. Biollante won’t be able to keep up with his mech and he will quickly take the Kaiju down to size with repeated sword swings. Kamina isn’t going down here. Kamina wins.
Suggested by Destroyer Biollante is a powerful Kaiju who actually gave Godzilla a run for his money back in the day. It takes tremendous skill and power to pull something like that off. The Green Hornet has his gun and a good amount of experience but at the end of the day this is a gap in power that cannot be overcome through experience alone. It just won’t be enough and in the end he will be completely overwhelmed. The guy wouldn’t be able to endure a single strike. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Sonic Magicman has some good magical abilities and he actually did really well in his first appearance in NT Warrior. That being said, I do think he will be on the back foot against Lina here. Her spells are at a much higher level after all and her most basic attack has a wider destructive range. So when you add that all up, Magicman really doesn’t have a chance here. She can block anything he tries to throw at her. Lina Inverse wins.
Suggested by Sonic Bison is a strong fighter with his dark energy and telekinetic abilities but they won’t be enough to stop Ferham here. Ferham can emit a powerful aura that deals out incredible damage and she is also very fast in the air. Bison will have a hard time getting close and when he does he will be taking passive damage just by being near her. If he had more power then he could potentially knock her out before the damage adds up but I don’t see this working. Ferham wins.
Suggested by Sonic Acnologia is one of the most powerful dragons of all time. His abilities are so good that it took multiple dragon slayers to take him down. Dragonite has his hyper beam but Acnologia could crush that with his fist. Dragonite has no realistic options here that would make this fight even close which is why he will end up being completely stomped. That’s before Acnologia even activates his human form. Acnologia wins.
Suggested by Sonic Sienna Khan is a talented hand to hand fighter who is quite quick and resourceful. She should be able to hold her own for a bit but the main problem here is that Lucina is just more powerful. Sienna is quick but when Lucina is launching massive shockwaves and other powerful strikes there is not much that Sienna will be able to do about that. She would need a boost to her overall fighting potential in order to match Lucina and I don’t see that happening here. Lucina wins.
Suggested by Sonic The Iblis is known as one of the most powerful fighters in all of Sonic. This guy can destroy whole dimensions and has enough firepower to keep up with Super Sonic. That alone is already an incredible feat and one that most characters couldn’t possibly match. Chaos Bahamut has strong attack power but no moves that would be enough to get past Iblis’ durability. That’s what will cost him today and he certainly isn’t fast enough to dodge Iblis’ attacks. So the blows are really going to add up here and ultimately Chaos Bahamut will be defeated. Iblis wins.
This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative
Hansel & Gretel is definitely a very classic story that I’m sure just about everyone has heard of at one point or another. Doing a modern action film based on that premise could be a lot of fun. So on one hand they do succeed in adding a ton of action and it has a very Resident Evil/Underworld feel to it. Everyone’s wearing leather jackets and there is a lot of loud music as everyone just starts attacking. I always like the vibe but the film also decides to be quite over the top violent the whole time which ends up weakening it entirely. It’s a shame since otherwise I think this could have ended up being a whole lot of fun but instead it ends up being rather underwhelming.
The movie starts off with the origin story as Hansel and Gretel are abandoned by their father and a witch invites them to her house. For a long while she has them captured but eventually they destroy her and escape. They then decide to become witch hunters and are very good at it. They’ve slain so many over the years it’s almost like they are superhuman or something. Hansel’s one weakness is that he has magical diabetes so he has to take a shot every few hours or else he can’t move. One day they save an innocent civilian from being executed by a bunch of crazy townsfolk and prepare to stop the true enemy Muriel. The tough part about this is that she is one of the strongest witches in existence. Defeating her will not be easy by any stretch of the imagination.
It is hard to picture how the heroes lasted this long against the witches though because they just aren’t very impressive in a fight. Sure they have the gun and the crossbow not to mention that magical bolts don’t affect them directly (Strange isn’t it?) but that’s it. They still only have human level stats so you’d think the witches could overwhelm them with speed or manipulating the environment to choke them or something. They don’t end up doing any of that and every time they are defeated you have to shake your head a bit.
This gets even more drastic once Muriel steps in because she’s much stronger as I mentioned before. She moves so fast that it’s like she is teleporting and her energy blasts have a wide range to them. I get that she can’t use her mind control on the heroes but there are still so many ways to beat them. This is definitely an example of a movie where they made the difference between the heroes and villains way too drastic. You always gotta keep it at least a bit equal or the plot armor starts to show off too much. At least Muriel does make for a decently good villain though. She has a very concrete goal and takes steps to achieve it. Her plan wasn’t even bad so she put in a whole lot of work here.
Then we have Mina as the girl who was nearly executed. She gets a fairly big role in the film but ultimately ends up being very underwhelming. For the first half I actually just thought she was going to be a really powerful villain that the heroes had to worry about but as the film went on you started to realize that this might not be in the cards. She’s a character whose concept is a lot cooler than the execution. You got the feeling that she could end up being really cool but then the climax happens and that was it.
Likewise there is a white witch in the flashback who looks really bad. Basically like in Final Fantasy a white witch has healing powers while the dark witches use your classic attack spells. The problem is that the white witches are such pacifists that they literally refuse to lift up a hand to fight back even when they are being absolutely crushed. Not a good look if you ask me. There has to be a point where you are going to defend yourself because if you just let people murder you like that then I’m not going to like the character. It’s as simple as that.
Now there is a sidekick character named Ben who wants to help the main duo but he’s just annoying. For starters he lost any single shred of decency he might have had when he tries to take advantage of Gretel while she was asleep. I mean that’s case closed in one fell swoop. You just don’t come back from a blow like that, no shot! He mainly just exists to be the comic relief and doesn’t add anything to the film so you could absolutely cut him out and nothing would really change.
The heroes run into a troll named Edward later on who is nice enough. He helps out Gretel quite a bit which is always good and he means well. He may not be the smartest character out there but he knows enough to be of help when it counts. The guy has the physical strength needed to win almost any one on one fight and he seems like he would be a very loyal ally to have around so there’s no problem with him watching your back.
Then we have Hansel who is a good main character. He has quite the grudge against witches but who wouldn’t in his position right? The witch basically ruined his life and he will never be fully better again so after that it is really hard to forget such a moment. He can fight well which is the important part and is always looking out for Gretel. Likewise Gretel has Hansel’s back and they make a good team. She’s very confident and is always ready to press on in the fight. Their sibling dynamic worked well and isn’t one you see very often in the movies so that was fun. It’s why you could cut out Ben and just keep the dynamic duo banter intact.
Of course the film still has to squeeze in some romance which is why Mina steps in. This whole plot is very rushed and there just isn’t time for romance when you’re trying to take down witches. Lives are at stake and they also have to watch out for the corrupt townsfolk who are everywhere. So instead of pairing up and all of that maybe they should be focused on winning the fight ahead of them. That would have made way more sense at least and it could give them time to develop as friends instead. Yeah the romance should have been cut out.
As mentioned earlier the violence also could have been toned down a whole lot. Characters are being blown up and sliced and diced left and right. The film also goes for some downright gross imagery at different points as well like with Muriel forcing some guys to eat a bunch of bugs. Like did we really need to go there? Sure it shows how superior she is as a mage but cmon now. Then the film has to get edgy with all the townsfolk being brutes who go after Gretel at one point. The film is trying to be as extreme as possible at all moments and it works against the film.
Overall, Hansel & Gretel had some nice potential here. I liked some of the twists and the whole action angle was nice. I do think it could have ended up being a good film if it just showed some restraint. Instead it didn’t show any though and that’s what hurts the film a whole lot. There is no real replay value here and you’ll be cringing a whole lot. It’s time for another hard reboot to this series. You can still keep the witch hunter angle but the whole direction just needs to be changed. Hey, if you do that then you could have a winner on your side but in the meantime you should absolutely skip this one. At least the soundtrack is really good though.
Overall 2/10
