Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos Review

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This is easily one of the toughest games that I’ve ever played. It’s clear that this is the kind of game that would take many, many hours in order to really master. My hat’s off to anyone who actually beat this one without any rewinding or anything like that. It feels like a near impossible task to me and I like to think that I’m pretty good at platformers. This one will absolutely take you to the edge and back. By the time you conquer it, the title will have either driven you mad or you will have high respect for it.

The game follows Ryu as he ends up going on his toughest journey yet. His friend Irene is kidnapped by a mysterious demon lord and a special agent with a gun warns Ryu that there is something extra dangerous about this mission. Ryu isn’t going up against mere ninja this time, but instead he will be fighting demons and deities. Fortunately Ryu isn’t the kind of guy to ever back down from a fight.

You may be surprised at just how cosmic the game gets. It really isn’t afraid to have Ryu go up against foes that are out of this world. This may as well be a full on sci-fi title. The core gameplay is the same as always though. It’s a 2D platformer where you have to slice away at your opponents as you gradually gain ground to the end of the level. You can avoid enemies but often times that may wind up getting you taken out. The villains also respawn almost immediately if you retreat and then go forward.

The combat itself is fairly straight forward. You have a sword and can slice right in front of you, you can also crouch and hit enemies who are trying to go low. You have a basic jump and can climb up on walls. There is also a whole item system but it really confused me so I didn’t invest much time in it. Basically there are tons of bubbles in the air throughout the level and when you slice them, a power up falls out. Sometimes it will summon an energy clone, other times it will let you shoot out fireballs. Each power up has a symbol but there are so many of them that it is really hard to keep track. You will quickly be overwhelmed unless you really take a lot of time to test them all out.

I decided to just plunge ahead. The bosses are all incredibly difficult but the final boss is in a league of his own. He has multiple phases, each one more deadly than the last. If you want to take them all down, it is not going to be an easy adventure for you. The one thing keeping you going will be the story itself which is really impressive. I would even say that the technicals around the board are super impressive here as it doesn’t look or feel like an NES title. It’s all about a generation above that.

The graphics have aged really well for starters. The colors are striking and the backgrounds are really good. The soundtrack is also better than it ought to be. The game has actual cutscenes and quite a lot of them as you get near the end of the game. So what you’ve got here is a very compelling title but I imagine most people did not make it to the end because of how punishing the game is. You essentially have to be frame perfect a lot of the time and a few good mistakes will completely take you out of the fight. There isn’t an easy checkpoint system here either so you will be seriously sent back if you end up losing.

It’s a little too brutal for my liking. I enjoy a difficult game to a degree but it does need to have quality of life features. I never want to be sent too far back and I like for there to be a way to get stronger. You at least need one or the other and this one doesn’t really have either of those. So without the Switch Online, I don’t really expect this is a game that I would have devoted a whole lot of time to.

Still, if you have the Switch Online then it makes for a perfect chance to play this one. One tip I will give is that the final boss has so much health that it can’t fit on screen. So you must keep on attacking. It may feel like you are not dealing any damage, but you actually are. You have to attack for several minutes before you can see the health go down and then from there you are set. I still expect you will die hundreds of times during this experience though.

Overall, Ninja Gaiden II is a really impressive game. It is obvious that a whole lot of care and detail was put into this game. You will get an enormous sense of satisfaction if you can beat the game without rewinding but you will definitely have to put a lot of heart into it. It’s not my favorite title but I can definitely say that the gameplay is smooth. It’s a fun ride even if it goes too far in being as unrelenting as possible.

Overall 6/10

Retribution Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for what I would consider to be a very simple thriller film. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns in this one outside of the ending. It’s all about a simple threat that is tough to shake and how the main character has to deal with it. The whole film essentially takes place inside a car so the film has to try and write around this. I’d say it does a pretty good job all things considered.

The film starts off by introducing us to Matt who leads a rather stressful life. He encourages clients to use his company for stock trading and then has to convince them to hang on even when they start to go into the red. It’s not an easy job by any means since nobody can completely predict the stock market. Additionally, this does affect people’s lives. You can lose millions of dollars in an instant if you are not careful….or even if you are careful. Well, one day he is driving his two kids over to school when someone calls and explains that he has put bombs under each of the seats. None of them can leave now and they must continue driving until this mysterious villain is satisfied. What demands will he make?

It’s a tough situation to get out of since it seems like death will be inevitable. Somehow the villain is able to watch them inside of the car and it could literally be anybody. There is no easy way to call his bluff on this without risking the two kids in the car. If Matt was by himself then perhaps he actually would try something like that but it’s just too reckless in this situation. So yeah the villain had a pretty good strategy at play here.

Now to address the elephant in the room, the kids are both pretty annoying. It takes them an incredibly long time to lock in here. While Matt wasn’t telling them what was going on for a while, I feel like they could have picked up on the context clues. It’s clear that something was going on after all so they should have been on their best behavior. By the end they were doing their best to defend Matt but it was a little late in the day for that. Meanwhile Matt can’t expect too much help from his wife in this one as we have some marital issues going on here.

That subplot didn’t really seem to be necessary. I feel like the deck was stacked against Matt enough in this film so it’s not like this was going to really change things. Still, I was glad she was still ready to help the kids and wasn’t letting them get hit in the crossfire. In a way, Matt having to watch the kids actually changed the villain’s plans somewhat.

One of the best scenes in the film is when the villain finally makes his appearance and delivers a grand speech. I have a big weakness for smug speeches like that where the villain just goes into detail on how completely he has won. There’s something really satisfying about it. The villain played his role well, even stressing Matt out with what I would consider to be some empty bluffs.

The villain was aided by the FBI here as their main fighter wasn’t the smartest. She seems to be absolutely determined to prove that Matt was the mastermind here even when it started to become apparent that this wasn’t the case. She was far too stubborn and that is not really becoming for someone in her position. It feels like there should have been many ways to verify Matt’s story or at least find some evidence. She just wasn’t giving him a single inch even when there were a lot of lives at stake. As a result, Matt really had to act on his own the whole time.

So how does the film stay interesting when it’s just Matt driving around the whole time? Well, that’s where the writing/mystery comes in handy. You’re wondering how Matt will be able to find anything out the whole time. He is starting this round out at such a massive disadvantage after all, it’s not easy to bridge that kind of distance. If there was no mystery then this may have faltered but the car angle just worked really well.

It would have been nice to have gotten a proper fight scene at the end of the film though. It wasn’t really that kind of film but it would have been the real cherry on top for the entertainment value. The final action scene still worked well though. Also the film has a fairly light tone even when serious stuff is going on. That works well for letting you just have fun with this. The first victim for example is so crazy that the scene isn’t as dark as it normally would be.

She is clearly told that there is a bomb in the car and it will blow up if she tries to get out. Despite this, she is trying for several minutes to busy the door down and run while her boyfriend tries to hold her back. Ultimately he isn’t able to do this and they blow up. Then you have another guy begging with Matt to let him live while ignoring the fact that Matt is on a phone and clearly taking orders. I mean, Matt could have absolutely been a lot more clear about the situation. Maybe he thought it would be too risky but he did let everyone think he was the villain when he didn’t really need to. This made his journey really tough in the end. So there’s technically a lot of sadness within the film but the tone rarely gets around to reflecting that.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s certainly nothing grand, the plot is straight forward and uncomplicated. That said, the pacing is good and the writing works well enough. I didn’t think the movie had any glaring weaknesses and it has a good amount of replay value. I’d definitely recommend checking it out whenever you have a chance. I think you will end up liking it more than you would have expected.

Overall 7/10

Prince of Darkness Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those really spooky titles. With something called “Prince of Darkness” you already know that you’re not exactly in for your normal film experience. This one dips into sci-fi as well as the horror genre so that really makes this an unforgettable experience. The movie gets serious props for managing to get a really intense atmosphere within the film but also does tend to go a little too far with all the gross imagery and violence. At the end of the day I would call it an elevated slasher but make no mistake, everyone is being taken down.

The film has a professor bring along his most talented students to a church for some kind of project. They’re going to be here for days so they have their own beds and everything. They all specialize in different kinds of science so whatever is going on here has to be really massive. They are all being kept in the dark on what is going on here. See, it turns out that in this world, the Devil is actually an alien that has been trapped underneath the Church. Unfortunately he is slowly breaking past the seal and if he escapes, the whole planet is lost.

Honestly they should have told the students this from the start or at least a similar story to get them motivated. It’s not like most of them would have believed that anyway right? It would have at least given them some urgency though as they are initially really chill about the whole thing. Since they are each experts of their field, it probably would have helped them to target more specific solutions as well.

As the film goes on, we see how slowly the situation is getting worse and worse all around. The Church begins to get surrounded by the homeless who all seem to be affected by the evil influence. The Devil is able to shoot out his energy whenever he wants and mind controls people too. So even though he was technically still sealed for most of the film, it seemed to be because he was allowing it. He takes over the computers and begins to start hunting the humans in earnest later on.

That felt like cheating the premise a bit here. You’d think that the humans are at least safe until they run out of time or the container breaks. Letting the villain be able to bust through that just made the situation even more unwinnable. Now based on the cryptic dreams of the future, it may not have mattered but you should at least afford the heroes some hope.

I will say that the main characters do act like classic horror characters in the sense that they do not make the smart decisions even when their lives are on the line. Forget the evil supernatural stuff for a minute. You’re in a rather rough neighborhood, why go outside after dark into the back alley? I think he was going for a smoke or something but naturally he is surrounded and then murdered. The people who got destroyed by their mind controlled colleagues get a little mercy from me because that’s not something you could really predict.

Going outside like that was not smart though even if the whole thing is tragic. Then you have the priest who is someone you can pile a lot of the blame on. He is putting the characters in a really rough situation without proper context so they have to figure it all out slowly. Even when he sees all the signs that they are running out of time, he mainly just panics. By the end he finally has his moment in the final hour. So he ends strong but it would have been nice if he had a better role in the first half. Perhaps he could have helped with some supernatural support right? Although his faith was clearly shaken from the start.

The movie has a lot of weird visuals the whole time like a pigeon being crucified and different people melting into worms and shooting up ooze. So needless to say, it’s the kind of film that could make you a bit queasy. It’s also traditionally violent at times but the bigger focus is definitely on the weird elements here. You could really cut all of those out and that would make the film work better.

There’s also that sense of claustrophobia here as the heroes technically are in a big building but have no way to get out because of the sheer number of enemies outside. When the enemies want to get in, there will be nothing to stop them. Then with each member of the research crew starting to go bad, even the indoors is no longer safe. I have to give the film a lot of credit for how big the main cast was. You even start to lost track of some of them after a while which is intentional because even within the film that happens to a few of them. When someone is gone for a while you have to wonder if something might have happened to them. That slow feeling of dread works really well.

If the film had just stuck to that instead of going more for the edge then it would have worked out a whole lot better. Perhaps the approach of trying to create that authentic evil atmosphere is ultimately what really backfired here. I think it would have been interesting if the film had delved a little more into the ramifications of the devil being an alien too. There is a good amount of dialogue and pondering in general but not usually on that angle. The writing is solid though so the film will hold your interest the whole time.

Overall, Prince of Darkness is a really intense film to be sure but it’s not one that I would recommend. It gets a little too grisly as the film goes on and the heroes were never given a proper fighting chance here. If anything it felt like they were being toyed with and depending on how you interpret the ending, there was never going to be a path to victory. So it makes for an intense watch but one that ultimately ends up feeling futile. I’d like to see another try at this one with the characters gradually vanishing or being pit against each other but without the devil actually being able to control them. As long as the seal holds, his main weapons should all be that of trickery and manipulation. Any direct action just widens the gap way too much.

Overall 2/10

Road House (2024) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I saw the original Road House not too long ago so now it was time to see if the remake could win. You never really know with these things but in this case I can safely say that it wasn’t even all that close. This one was just the better film all around. It’s certainly not amazing or anything like that but just had a better time, a more fun atmosphere, and certainly a more satisfying ending.

The movie starts off by showing us how Dalton is such a feared fighter that nobody wants to battle against him. Well, it seems to be part of an elaborate scam as well but the point is that he’s good at what he does. At this point he has hit rock bottom though thanks to some dicey moments in his past. Just when he’s about to end it all, he gets invited to be a bouncer at the most dangerous club in America. Dalton agrees to take on the job but it turns out to be even more dangerous than he would have guessed. He is outnumbered and the rowdy folks have guns. Can he really protect everyone?

Now make no mistake, Dalton would be dead in 5 minutes if the villains were serious. They constantly run up to him in close quarters so he can slap away their guns or get sloppy from long range. In a hand to hand fight he can certainly mess them up but these guys have the cops in their pocket and have a ton of clout. Enough where they could have easily just made him disappear in a night instead of going through the whole show. So we’ve got a whole lot of plot armor here but it doesn’t take away from the film being pretty fun.

Dalton is one of those supremely confident fighters who always has a smirk on his face. He tries to pretend that he isn’t a big shot but it’s a rather half hearted attempt where he keeps just enough of a smirk to know that he’s not serious. He’s probably not someone you can count on as a reliable friend but he does a good job of protecting the bar. You just can’t expect him to essentially be taking on an entire town’s worth of villains trying to break the doors down.

The one time you will probably think he sold out on the heroes is when he is having a drink near the end while everyone is getting absolutely destroyed by the villains. One guy gets his head slammed into a counter, another is getting his arm broken, etc. All the while Dalton is just watching. That part didn’t really make any sense. His counterpart, Knox is on the other side beating everyone up and Dalton is just watching?

When you have a battle between two forces and each one has one alpha fighter, they have to take each other out of the equation. If one has their top fighter going up against the middle ones, then of course it is going to end very badly. I otherwise didn’t blame Dalton for wanting to leave midway because this did seem like a never ending fight that was not going to go his way.

In this film, Dalton also doesn’t have any real backup. He has to handle everything himself which isn’t easy. At first when Knox showed up I thought he was going to be the ally but it turns out that he is the most twisted out of all the villains. I suppose that first scene should have clued me in right away but I figured it was just to show how intense he was. Knox does make for a really good villain though. His accent can feel super exaggerated at times but it’s possible that he really sounds like that.

The guy is an absolute beast in battle and he can really hang with Dalton in a fight. Dalton is probably just a tad more skilled one on one but it’s close enough where the fight could go either way. No other villain is on Knox’s level here just like none of the heroes are on Dalton’s. The main villain is technically Ben but the guy is out of his depth the entire time. He comes across as really spoiled and whiny. He’s certainly not the mastermind type here.

For the heroes, unfortunately none of them really get big roles. At one point Dalton hires a guy who likes to fight a lot so I figured he would be really tough but instead he ends up getting an absolutely tiny role and never gets the big wins you would have been expecting out of him. I suppose he can still defeat the basic enemies but that’s not going to make a big difference here.

There is also the owner of the bar, Frankie but she doesn’t do much either. She talks tough and you figure she may find a way to back Dalton up but nah she just watches the whole time. I was really hoping she had some kind of trump card to show why she was so confident. Without one, it feels like she just got lucky since the villains could have bumped her off at any time. She seems to live at the bar so it’s not like it would be tough to find her.

There is also Charlie but she’s mainly just around to give Dalton a motive to keep on fighting. I don’t think it was smart to try and fight a bunch of armed adults. I know it was supposed to show how brave she was but that is definitely a point where you’re just being dumb. Her father had the right idea in escaping for that specific circumstance.

Then there is the heroine Ellie. Can’t say I was a big fan of hers. She doesn’t like violence but still decides to get with Dalton and moves so fast even he points out that this doesn’t make any sense. She is helpful in getting him to escape from the corrupt cops but I would have liked her to have been a little more helpful in the end. The romance was ultimately not all that goo and she should have had a role beyond that.

The fight scenes are interesting because the camera angles are really crazy. It felt like all of the fights were digitally altered or something with how the characters appeared. Maybe an odd frame rate? Either way there was something surreal about the fights. They were still pretty good but you didn’t really feel any of the impacts between the characters. The fights could still get rather bloody but weren’t super intense.

I’d still give the film a thumbs up for the action though. The film is very fast paced so there is always something going on. The violence can be a little over the top at times so you should keep that in mind. This is definitely not a film for younger audiences. The film’s light hearted tone can certainly make it feel that way at times but you can bet there are some violent deaths in this one.

Overall, Road House is significantly better than the original film. If you’re up for a film with a lot of action then this will be right up your alley. The deck is stacked incredibly well against the main character so you will have to expect some plot armor though. Realistically Dalton would have been dead early on in this adventure. There just isn’t anything he can do when even the cops are on the villains’ side. Still, he fights hard and does his best. The film also does show that he is rather crazy so that helps to show why he won’t just back down even when he is outnumbered. Dalton will continue fighting on til the end and I’ll be curious how the sequel plays out.

Overall 6/10