Tag Archives: Horror

Blacula Review

Posted on by
2


Oof, this film was pretty bad. I’m just going to say it upfront, this one was not a winner by any stretch of the imagination. Initially it started off with a little potential as the main character seems like a reasonable guy. Perhaps he would be an anti-hero of sorts who only feeds on the blood of the wicked. A lot of potential right there but nah it just becomes another B version of the Dracula film which was already quite bad. There isn’t much to redeem about this film to be honest.

The movie starts off with a guy going to Dracula and asking him to stop slavery basically. Dracula laughs and basically confirms that he loves slavery and this whole thing was a trap. The guy tries to fight him off but promptly gets bitten. His wife dies and the guy is left in the tomb. Many years later, he wakes up and is now the vampire known as Blacula!! Surely he will now be going around trying to help people out, destroy any other vampires in existence and keep onto his righteous cause right? Wrong!! He hungers and so he begins to drain everyone as he goes through life. He then finds a girl who looks like his late wife and decides that he wants her. Can the others stop him?

As you can probably guess one of my big issues here is just how Blacula is suddenly super evil. As a normal person he was a good guy trying to do the right thing. Why did he have to suddenly fall to such depths now? It doesn’t make sense and critically assassinates his character. There’s also no reason for this. You could absolutely have him fall in love with this lady and try to win her over without all the threats and bumping everyone off. The main villain here could have just been Dracula who had kept on living throughout all of these years. Boom you’d have a great story right there.

Unfortunately this film could not think things through and just went with this sad approach instead. The movie plays out exactly as you would expect with Blacula picking everyone off. One of the worst instances of this is when he is running through the streets and bumps into a cab. So the driver gets out and she naturally gives him a talking too…and he decides to murder her? Not to mention that he’s hunting around a black neighborhood. You can see the irony here right?? He was fighting to stop slavery, give equal rights to all…and now he’s basically murdering a bunch of the black community.

It undermines his character even more. Now if you said that Dracula injected his personality into Blacula then that could have been something. Honestly it would still have been a very baffling decision but at least it would make sense but the film never even hints at that. At best you can say we do see how he is losing his mind and getting more feral but that’s just standard vampire stuff. There’s still nothing in there that would cause his personality to do a complete 180. This is definitely a very lackluster film I have to say.

Of course it has the usual vampire movie issues as well like all the blood draining and everything. No matter how many times I see it I still find the whole thing a bit revolting. You should do vampire films without the draining. Think about it and you’ll see that I’m right. Have the vampires scare people in a different way and then we’re good. Like seeing Blacula in a dark alley with the cape is already scary so if you know he’s going to murder you then you don’t need the draining.

Okay enough about Blacula. Tina is the main heroine here and she doesn’t look great but you also have to cut her some slack because some of that is the subtle vampire mind control. Also it’s tough because she doesn’t really have an out here. Technically no matter where she goes or what she does there is no way to escape this guy. It’s a rather cruel environment to be in without a way out. Then you have Thomas who mainly leads the search in trying to stop this guy. He’s a reasonable main guy doing his best to help out but there’s nothing about him that particularly stands out. Much like this movie in general…..

Still, he’s good and does get results. The movie’s ending isn’t particularly satisfying but the movie did end which is what I was waiting for. At last the journey was over. There are some silver linings here like the characters but on the whole this film just makes no sense. They seriously need to remake it but with Blacula as an anti-hero. Or if you want him to be a true villain, have Dracula put him into stasis and when he wakes up have him appear in an area where his community is being terrorized or something. So now he wants revenge on the world. That kind of gimmick would go a long way. Just about anything instead of what we got to be honest.

The dark atmosphere worked well and the film had a lot of tension. So capitalize on all of that and maybe, just maybe you will have given the film a fighting chance to do something good. I wouldn’t hold my breath since it would still be a vampire film and would likely have the same issues though. At the end of the day there are very few good vampire films and I don’t see that really changing in the future.

Overall, Blacula is definitely a pretty bad film. In the end the movie did not even use the premise at all. Change Blacula to Dracula and nothing about the film changes. That’s probably the worst part in all of this because then it makes the whole thing pointless. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time and wondering why the movie even exists. If you want to watch a vampire film then watch The Batman vs Dracula instead. Hardly my favorite Batman film out there but it still blows this one away with ease.

Overall 1/10

One Missed Call Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for a retro horror film and One Missed Call definitely lives up to what you would expect there. It’s a horror film that plays it very by the numbers without a whole lot going for it beyond being…well a classic horror film. This one involves phones and a villain so powerful that it’s like you’re fighting against destiny itself. The film doesn’t have a particularly strong cast or memorable visuals to keep it afloat but at the same time it’s certainly not the worth horror film I’ve seen. I doubt I’ll even remember it too vividly several years from now.

The movie starts with the most intense scene in the film to be honest as a lady walks towards a pond when a giant hand emerges and drags her under. It also grabs the cat so the film decided to start off with an animal death for some bizarre reason. Leaving that aside for a moment though, the scene gave the villain a pretty intense design right off the gate and it was memorable. It reminded me of the Redead hands from the Legend of Zelda games. Unfortunately after this you will not see any memorable designs like that at all. In fact once we see the actual mastermind at the end of the film, the villain looks super unimpressive. Basically normal if you will and that’s no fun.

All right so back to the plot. Everyone is worried about the way the girl died and then another girl gets a voicemail from her number but it’s from a future date and has another girl’s voice. This girl promptly dies at the exact time of the voicemail and this “Phone curse” continues to spread. Each victim receives a call from the last victim with a voicemail dated at the exact time that the next victim will die. In essence the instant you receive this voicemail you are already dead which is a sobering thought unless you can escape destiny. Beth is the main heroine of the movie and she has a little time while all of her friends are bumped off. Once they are gone though then she will be next in the firing line. Oh I should also mention every victim gets a candy that they spit out after they die. Pretty random detail but its so random that it’s actually kind of interesting so I’ll give the film credit there. Of course it is explained later on but even if it wasn’t that’s the kind of randomness that can make the situation even scarier.

Fortunately she has the help of Officer Jack who believes there is something to this. Unfortunately the rest of the police don’t buy this so he’s on his own. Now it’s great that he believes since there is some evidence to support it at least but the guy is super sloppy. So the biggest potential evidence here are the phone calls right? Tangible calls that you could trace to see what is going on. Well…over halfway into the film he remembers that you can do this and looks them up but it was such a basic thing he could have tried from the start that it really stands out. You just think “Cmon man” because it would have been easier if the film just said all records mysteriously weren’t there. Really make this as supernatural as possible.

After all this is supernatural so why would it need to follow conventional rules anyway? Jack mainly does good here but I do have to say that one mistake so many characters make is putting their eye right next to the keyhole. Seriously even in real life you don’t want to do that because the door isn’t very well secured at all. Just being near it is a dangerously bad idea. Trust me on this, you do not want to do that! Just stay away from the door and he was probably doomed anyway but it didn’t help matters.

We do get the tragic backstory leading up to the origin of the curse later on and the film gets fairly dark with the lore as you’d expect. Again all fairly common for this kind of film but it also just feels rather forced. I think the movie should have actually not had a backstory for what was going on here. It’s way spookier for this to be happening for no real reason. Just give us a way to actually fight back and then you’re set. For example, that giant undead creature from the opening was super spooky so that’s all you need on the scares front. Have the team try to figure out a way to defeat it.

I knew the film would be cheating as soon as the Star Wars “Force Choke” scene happened. So one girl named Taylor had a really good idea. She allowed herself to be recruited by a supernatural TV show where they record people being possessed and try to save them. These guys may be crazy or scammers but now she’s surrounded at least right? Well the ghost/demon/mysterious villain shows up anyway and just chokes her using invisible intangible powers. There was nothing Taylor or anyone could do and that’s when I realized how futile this was going to be. The villain was too powerful.

In any horror film you have to try and balance out the villain being really powerful and imposing while also giving the heroes some kind of chance to fight back. There always has to be some hope or else why are you even watching right? If the only option is to wait around for your death then that’s inevitably going to get boring and so the film needed to introduce more of a weakness. Taylor’s death just felt unfair the whole time because unlike the other characters I actually thought her plan was as close to full proof as possible.

I haven’t talked much about Beth and in large part that’s because there isn’t a whole lot to say about her. She really stands for being your average everyday person just trying to get out of this situation but she doesn’t have much character beyond that. You’re hoping that she will get out of this in one piece but that’s definitely not a guarantee in a film like this.

Overall, I can see why One Missed Call wasn’t really a hit. The film wasn’t super balanced and didn’t always seem to know what it wanted to do. It’s a fairly serious film with an intense threat but the world wasn’t very fleshed out and there’s nothing to write home about here. While the film isn’t super violent, you definitely do have some intense deaths here. The dark backstory is also intense of course. I did like some of the spooky visuals like the Centipede and the hand in the opening scene but that was about it. The rest of the film just didn’t land and you should give this one a hard skip.

Overall 3/10

Riddick Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This film is definitely very ambitious. It actually does something that I thought was clever which I’ll get into but ultimately it’s squandered away by tons of animal violence throughout the film and another batch of super unlikable characters. Seriously there is at least one character here who really should have gotten taken out way sooner. This is a survival film through and through which doesn’t hold back.

The movie starts off with Riddick stranded on a desert planet. See, he may have been strong back in the day but he’s lost a step once he became king. He allows himself to be suckered by the most obvious traitor of all time and gets absolutely devastated. I couldn’t believe this, he really just lost to a super whiny character in a situation that was obviously a trap? Well, Riddick has decided to see the silver lining here and figures he will train until he is ruthless and a super powerful beast again. The first half of the film is about him learning how each of the different wildlife acts and adapting himself in turn. It doesn’t make for a very enjoyable watch but it’s interesting. See I thought the whole film was going to be about this and it would have been an experimental film without much dialogue.

Then the two annoying groups of bounty hunters show up and I realized the angle that I liked here. See, when a group shows up on an alien planet the movie is always about them getting picked off one by one from the mysterious alien creatures and the serial killer on the loose. Well, this time we got to see all of them first and then we’re introduced to the villains. So it was sort of a reverse scenario right there. I like the idea behind it at least but the film doesn’t really make the most of it. First off the original group are basically all villains with no interests greater than their primal desires. One of them wants to assault the heroine from the second film throughout the movie, the main guy just wants the money for capturing and murdering Riddick, the other are here for money.

There isn’t much to these villains and the problem is that the personalities that we do get just aren’t that good. For example the perverted villain should have been murdered several times during the movie. Each time the girl would beat him up which is cool and all but considering his intentions he should have absolutely been murdered the second time. I was hoping Riddick really had sabotaged the equipment room so that as soon as the guy opened it, it would blow up. That would have been fantastic because this guy seriously didn’t contribute anything. Bumping him out of the movie would have been a great idea.

The main villain is your classic coward who can only make a move when everything is in his favor. Otherwise the guy just folds immediately and really isn’t much of a leader. So that leads us to the second group and at least they were decent. The leader is the father of the main villain from the first film and unlike his son he actually seems like a very capable commander. The tension here is wondering if the guy will turn evil and fold at the first sign of adversity like his son or if he will do well to the end. It works as a nice parallel even if you have a general idea of where this will go. The movie does a good job of giving you enough fake-outs and turns to keep you guessing. He was a good character though.

I also liked Dahl who was the lady who kept beating up the first punk. She was tough and could hold her own in a fight. Considering how often she was targeted Dahl did a great job of always watching her back and keeping her gun ready. I just feel like keeping the guy alive was too much of a risk considering that he had no moral compass at all. The rest of the mercenaries are mainly forgettable but in general the team of professionals were way better than the random bunch of bounty hunters.

Riddick was back to looking like a true professional after the opening scene so he was really good here. He perhaps took too many risks though once he tried bartering with the other hunters. I feel like his plan wasn’t very strong when he went off to meet them and could have been picked off at any time. He had the power cores as insurance but even so it was a really big gamble that ultimately didn’t pay off. He lost his dog as a result of his plan after all.

Horrible scene by the way and one of the many moments that doomed this film. The instant he adopted an alien dog I knew things weren’t going well and that’s always rough. It’s come to the point where you don’t want to see an animal in any film because you know that’s going to be used as easy revenge bait. Films need to resist this and yet they have not been able to so far. I need the film to surpass its limits and go away from that but it’s probably going to be a while at this rate. Beyond the dog you also have a lot of creatures getting eaten and ripped to pieces either by Riddick or by other creatures.

It’s one reason why survival films rarely end up being very good because part of the genre is seeing what the heroes are surviving and inevitably that means a bunch of animals are going to die. It’s unfortunate but that’s usually what it boils down to. This film goes back to embracing the violence on a high scale like the first film and definitely gets really excessive. Throw in the sub par cast of character and you really have a losing formula here. It’s easily the weakest of the 3 films so the movie series ends on a sour note.

Overall, There’s no real reason to watch this film. You’re better off watching the original if you want the alien plot or checking out the second one for the lore. Of course all the lore gets thrown out here as they make Riddick look super sloppy to have an excuse for the film 2 cast to beat him up. The opening just makes him look soooo bad. I also feel like it wasn’t smart to change the venue so drastically like this because it makes film 2 completely pointless but I suppose it is what it is. Maybe if we get a 4th film they’ll course correct again and go back to the sci-fi wars of the second film. That would actually be pretty funny but something tells me the 4th film will take a while.

Overall 1/10

The Gift Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version could be more negative

It’s time for one of those films about watching out for the next door neighbor. You never know who you’re going to be living next to when moving for the first time and so you always hope it’s a nice happy family. Sometimes that’s not the case though. Personally it’s rare that I really talk to or know my neighbors much at all but of course it’s a bit different in an apartment vs a house. The movie’s got an okay premise I suppose but ultimately this one’s definitely not much of a winner.

So the movie starts off with Simon and his wife Robyn getting a house and they’re looking forward to life going perfectly. Unfortunately that doesn’t quite happen as a man called Gordo appears and he claims to be Simon’s old classmate from school way back in the day. Simon doesn’t remember him at first but does afterwards and is puzzled because they weren’t friends. In the present Gordo keeps on bringing gifts and doing all kinds of favors for the main two but it quickly gets into weird territory. Simon quickly shuts this down as he’s as rude to Gordo as possible but now things have taken a turn from weird into dangerous when their pet dog goes missing. Is Gordo actually here to murder them?

Now this film is one of those titles where most of the characters are super unlikable. The only decent one here is Robyn and she’s going through a tough time with this since Simon keeps blowing up at her about Gordo now. He seems to be getting jealous quickly of the guy and is also hiding some secrets from his past. Robyn really wants him to be straight with her but when that’s not a possibility she can no longer trust him. Then Gordo can’t be trusted either because the guy is overstepping his bounds like breaking into the house while the main characters are away. No excuse is good enough for that to be warranted.

While Robyn means well I do think that she’s rather oblivious at times though. For example letting Gordo into the house while Simon isn’t there was not a great idea. Particularly since she barely knew him at all. I know you can’t be too paranoid when living out in the country since at that point you couldn’t even open up the door but she really seemed to be defenseless the whole time. At least have a can of pepper spray in your pocket. Even going for those long daily runs in the middle of nowhere every morning seemed a bit iffy. That said, at least she was polite the whole time.

Then you have Simon who immediately starts badmouthing Gordo behind his back and calling the guy names. This is before Gordo even started going too far. It’s like Simon was just being mean from the jump. Now this makes sense the more the film goes on as we see that he’s just not a good guy but it’s a good way not to root for him right away. Simon’s verbal attacks are never justified and even to the end you never feel like he has really changed as a person. He puts himself first above all else and really doesn’t give Robyn any thoughts during the climax. It’s all about him and well the guy is just a bully. There’s not much more that needs to be said than that and the guy is basically an antagonist by the end of the film.

Of course with all this said….Gordo is still a big villain here. No matter how mean to him Simon was, the guy is still terrorizing Robyn as well and kidnapping the dog was uncalled for. Fortunately nothing happened to the dog since that would have really torn the film apart but this guy loses his sympathy points real quick. I also get the feeling that he would have been messing with the main characters even if Simon did treat him well from the start. The guy was just acting very odd in a very intentional way. I believe he would have forced the confrontation at some point or another. At most Simon just sped it up but this guy was certainly looney.

We eventually learn why Gordo has this grudge against Simon and it definitely makes Simon and another character look really awful. You would just expect better and the film certainly wanted to go all out with having the gritty backstory. Fortunately there is a twist on the twist which is still awful but at least not as grim. The whole movie is really a race to the bottom between characters.

Now there is something that happens at the very end of the film which had the potential to drop this film down to a 0. Fortunately I don’t believe the “event” actually happened. To get into it too much would delve into spoilers but there are two main arguments I would say are on my side as to why this didn’t happen. The first is that this is a narrative callback to what happened in Gordo’s past. Just as something didn’t actually happen in his backstory, I would say that it didn’t in the present. It just serves as the ultimate revenge to have Simon think that this happened.

The other data point that supports me here is his last line to Robyn about how good things happen to good people. To me the only way he would use this line is to let her and the viewer know that this didn’t happen. At the end of the day his grudge was with Simon not her. He also got to hear her defending him from when he bugged the room. During the film at most he would just use her as ammo against Simon and this would be a fairly big jump from that. It’s still annoying that they didn’t definitively confirm my theory to be correct since it doesn’t take anything away from the revenge and if anything helps the movie. Keeping it even slightly ambiguous was just annoying.

Even with that the film wasn’t going to be very good though. The characters are just so unlikable between Simon and Gordo that it hurts a whole lot. Their dialogue is always pretty bad and in general the writing wasn’t very good here. At least the ending offers a tiny glimmer of hope for Robyn but even then it’s not the super happy ending you were waiting for. We got a few jump scares here and there but it’s not like this film is particularly scary either. The cops excuse for not going after Gordo felt rather weak though since it seems like it was really easy to find the guy.

Overall, The Gift just isn’t a very pleasant movie at the end of the day. Bad things keep happening to the characters and while Simon deserves it, you just feel bad for Robyn. At least she did take a stand by the end and I appreciate that. I also appreciate that the film didn’t do anything bad to the dog since that would have really been awful. You’re still just not going to have a very good time with this film. It delivers on having a ton of twists but for the evil neighbor angle it’s probably more effective to actually have the main characters be likable rather than doubling down and having both sides be antagonistic.

Overall 3/10

M3gan Review

Posted on by
Reply


This is a film that got a whole lot of hype before it came out. The marketing for this film was impressive because it was on the map instantly and the film did have an interesting premise so you figured it could probably do well. Ultimately the film does fumble a bit which keeps it from being a solid movie in the end but I still think the premise is good and I’d be interested in seeing what a sequel does. There is definitely a lot of room for more adventures with the evil doll.

The movie starts off Cady’s parents both being taken down for the count in a car crash so she is sent to live with her aunt Gemma. Gemma is a genius inventor trying to build the world’s first life sized robotic doll and has no time for helping a kid grow up. So she retools the robot: M3gan to be Cady’s friend and it goes so well that she convinces her boss to let her go live with it. They will have a big presentation and everything to make them the number 1 rated toy company of all time. Is this toy actually a good thing though or has Gemma just built something that could threaten all life on the planet?

This is the kind of movie where you always wonder if M3gan will just be evil from the jump or if she’ll meet enough bullies to put her on the dark side. Well, ultimately I would say this is one of those cases where she was just twisted from the start. Now I think if Gemma had been nicer to M3gan and treated her like a real person then this could have been avoided but that’s a lot of “could have” “would have” etc and at the end of the day we can only blame M3gan’s actions on M3gan herself. She could have taken the high road and the instant she cracked that was on her.

Basically her main directive is to protect Cady at all times and she does well in this function. Any threats are promptly eliminated and without mercy. The problem is that she doesn’t care because from her programming she just needs Cady to be safe. Everything else plays second fiddle to that goal and so she is following the programming, it just really wasn’t well thought through. That’s the main problem here. Gemma rushed this too much and ends up paying the price for it. You need safety measures in anything like this and it’s also why this project will never work for kids. Having full sized robots/dolls will never be feasible for a lot of obvious reasons. There is no way to guarantee that the robot will remain safe and wholesome.

M3gan does have super strength as a result of being robotic though and it’s nice to see her flexing on the cast. She gets a decent body count by the end. It’s not big like a slasher film or anything but you can generally tell when she is about to bump someone off. One character I actually felt bad for here was Gemma’s boss. Yes, the film portrays him as an antagonist but I didn’t agree with that. He has a ton of very legitimate reasons to be upset with her. First off, she is using company funds to build M3gan against his explicit orders. So it’s not like she didn’t know. He told her to stop wasting money on this project and she disobeyed his direct orders.

Furthermore, she ended up locking him out of her lab. She had no real respect for the boss and kept on ruining his day. So when M3gan corners the guy you feel bad for him because he really tried his best to stop the robot apocalypse from happening. He even had the right reaction which was to start running as soon as he saw her. Unfortunately it was just too late for him. There’s also another guy who wants to steal the designs for M3gan but that plot never really goes anywhere. He was taken out pretty quickly anyway and at first I thought that was going to be how the sequel happens because he rebuilds her but based on how the film ends this isn’t how things are going to play out.

There is a bit of a cliffhanger here. It’s not trying all that hard as far as horror endings go but it’s fun enough. Again, I do think there is a lot of potential with a sequel. You could maybe even switch up the characters a bit but either way works. Right now Cady wasn’t a great character but with a time skip she will be old enough to really contribute to the plot so that could help. She does have a good idea at the end of the film and does some damage though so I’ll give her some credit there. Additionally she is depressed for a while in the film because of her parents dying so you have to cut her some slack there.

I didn’t particularly like Gemma though. I know part of that is from her character arc of realizing that she wasn’t being a good guardian and stepping up but it takes a while to get to that point and in the meantime you’re shaking your head. She didn’t handle any of the situations with the boss very well and additionally I would say that she didn’t handle the M3gan situation well either. Shutting her off mid dialogue was a really bad move because it further reinforces that M3gan isn’t a part of the family. Likewise with shutting her off randomly. All of these things only serve to speed up M3gan’s corruption and demise. It probably would have happened at some point anyway but Gemma really could have done better all throughout.

The visuals for the movie are definitely impressive. M3gan looks very lifelike and seeing her pull off complicated dance moves while murdering everyone is great. She really stands out as a new horror icon that should withstand the test of time. In general we also don’t get a ton of horror films taking place around a high tech building and everything so it was cool to see her there in the real world and not just in abandoned forests and such.

The film isn’t even all that violent for a horror film. You get the occasional violent moment like the boss’s death but for the most part it’s fairly restrained. The only thing that really hurts the film is that it decided to get the dog involved. The instant the mean neighbor showed up with her dog I knew it was over. Both the dog and the neighbor would likely die in gruesome ways and that would be it. At least the dog is off screen but the film still included the death and doing that in general was a really bad idea. This is definitely not the way to increase the stakes and really shot the film in the foot. It’s still better than most horror films but this could have been a good movie and they blew it in the end.

Overall, M3gan is a unique horror film and one that should stay well known but it wasn’t as good as it could have been. I’d say that the movie left a lot on the table of the possibilities of an evil guard doll. In a way they should have not had the main characters find out yet because that would have set the sequel up really well. Do a slow burn as she gets more and more demented to the point where she becomes a menace to be stopped. I think that would have been a good premise for a ton of stories but there is no way to go back after that. That’s why I think having her appear with a new family in the next film makes the most sense but of course everyone loves a good revenge story so that could work too. We’ll see how it goes.

Overall 4/10

Rabid Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

There are some movies where right from the jump you know it’s going to be a miss and this is one of those. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time here because this vampire type film just isn’t it. The world doesn’t handle the threat very well and the whole film is going for grim violence the whole time. It’s basically a B grade slasher film but in all the wrong ways.

The movie starts with Rose and Hart driving down the road at massive speeds. They are defying destiny to try and make them crash and sure enough they run off the road and do in fact crash. Hart has a lot of broken bones but he’s mainly okay while the same cannot be said for Rose. She is taken to a nearby hospital where they run a very experimental surgery on her. Basically their justification was that she was not going to last otherwise but the head also needed quick results because funding wasn’t going well. Unfortunately while the surgery was a success, it came at a great cost.

See, by mistake the surgery gave Rose a giant stinger in her armpit which she could now use to destroy everyone in her way. She no longer has a taste for real food and only seeks to consume the living. Whoever she drains becomes a zombie and this infection continues to spread. Basically she is patient zero and the only silver lining of this is that she keeps some semblance of free will while everyone else becomes mindless zombies. She’s always hungry now too so she bumps a lot of people off and then afterwards it is unclear just how much she knows about it. See, she knows enough that she wants to always get away from her friends to murder a stranger instead but then seems to have headaches and isn’t totally sure of herself. It’s almost like a split personality but that may be giving her too much credit and she was just trying to make the whole situation look like that.

Regardless that is basically the entire plot in a nutshell. Rose goes around murdering everybody and nobody can figure out how to stop her because nobody even knows that she is the one doing it. She always waits until only her victim is in the room and then she makes her move. Whether it’s a poor girl just trying to have a refreshing swim or a doctor who leans in too close, Rose takes them all down. Often times the people she’s destroying aren’t even bad people which is the most tragic part like the truck driver who was just trying to help out. They all meet rather gruesome ends before the adventure concludes.

The movie is rather unrelenting in that respect. There is always something sinister or dark happening at all times and so the viewer can’t catch a break. There is no time for lighthearted banter or any really happy scenes to be honest. Instead we just see the world descending into chaos. They also squeeze in some animal violence of course as Rose goes after a cow or a horse. I forget which but of course she can’t control her hunger again and this is why she has to be considered as one of the main antagonists here. In the end she could not control her abilities at all and that was a big problem.

She also makes some very bad mistakes like at the end deciding to prove her innocence by trying a blood transfusion with someone. It’s great to test out a theory but she didn’t have any kind of safety precautions and so it’s really as if she just blew herself up. There was never going to be a positive outcome from all of that and that was the problem here. It just makes for a really dark ending and ends the film on a super sour note. Not that the film had any hope left by this point mind you but at least having a decent ending would have been nice. Instead the film is doubling down on making everything as tragic as possible which is definitely unfortunate. Not what you want to see from a title like this.

Hart also has almost no point in this film. Rose may as well have been driving by herself in the intro. He barely appears until midway where he runs in to call her a monster and runs off. By the time he cools down it’s already too late for Rose. Rose’s roommate did a better job of being there for her and even then she was doomed from the jump. In this film nobody is really safe and all you can do is make a run for it or you will probably be devoured next. Now is there anything I can say in favor of the film?

Unfortunately no, but I can at least say that the concept of having a stinger in your armpit is unique. Not even sure if I would say it’s unique in a good way but it’s a premise I had never thought of before and will probably never think about again. It’s just so weird but that’s the kind of idea that can make you rich if it’s handled right. This one just wasn’t and the film gets lost in the sauce really quick.

What the film should have done was to focus on the world at large a bit more and how they were handling it. Of course one governor just said they should shoot the infected while a lot of other people were panicking but focusing on the government a lot could have been fun. Lets see what they think about all of this. Sure, the virus is spreading fast but the zombies are really slow right now so you don’t figure that they should be a big threat at any rate. Just take them out and all it a day. I want to see a zombie invasion film from the start of when it was happening for once and how the government handles it. I think there is a whole lot of possibility there. Perhaps it will be negated by all the blood sucking and zombie eating but maybe it could pull this premise off.

Overall, Rapid is a film to stay away from without a doubt. The whole time you’re watching it you will be realizing that there are much better films to check out. Nobody has heard of this film for a good reason. It’s just not that good and certainly ahs not aged well either. This is not the kind of film you would ever rewatch either and so in the end what that means is that you will be shaking your head here the whole time. I don’t know where I would start in trying to tell someone how to do a good remake of this one so instead I’ll just say that the whole premise is probably doomed and you shouldn’t even attempt to make a movie like this.

Overall 0/10

Goosebumps: Dead of Night Review

Posted on by
Reply


This is one of those games that I basically got on a whim as I needed a low priced game for the Gamestop deal and it ended up being a bit of a gem in the rough here. Goosebumps is a short game but one that handles the first person horror genre well. It’s a fairly niche genre if you’re looking for a game like Bendy without going all the way extreme. This one’s definitely aimed a bit younger but they really put effort into each of the scares and level designs. So the game ends really quick but you’ll only need to spend a few bucks in order to get it so it balances out.

The game starts with you heading inside a house and finding out that R.L. Stine has been locked in a book. Slappy managed to turn the tables on him and cast the writer away while also ripping the pages out of the sealing book used to stop the dummy. You must now find all of the pages and take him down but you must dodge a whole array of monsters in the meantime such as the clown, the werewolf, and a zombie lady. You better run fast!

This game definitely reminds me of what a Five Nights at Freddy’s game would be like. There is danger around every corner and you’re always looking around. You can only run for a few seconds before you lose all of your stamina so you really want to be careful about when and where you run. You can outrun any of the monsters but walking is another matter entirely. There are plenty of places to hide so you can go under the table or in the shower for example but sometimes there will be a monster there as well. That’s how the clown got me once. Granted, there is an incentive to dying which is that just about every death to a different monster will get you a trophy the first time it happens. So sometimes you can just let them finish you off so that you can see what happens.

The gameplay is really simple though since it’s playing out as if you were really there. So you can only walk, run, and interact with objects. Only in the very last level do you get a laser gun although of course that is fun. The game wants to remain spooky though so it does come with a whole lot of restrictions. You can only fire for a few seconds and if you miss one of the enemies for even 1 second then it won’t be enough to defeat that fighter. You have to then wait for the cooldown and try to survive in the meantime. That cooldown also means that if you are up against more than 1 opponent at once then you are definitely going to be losing that encounter.

Each world also starts getting you involved in some new mechanics real quick. There are only 3 chapters in the game though so it does go by in the blink of an eye though. I’d say it’s probably a little longer than the 2 hours you see listed online but it’s probably around that time, maybe 2.5 hours at best or something like that. So if you see this game for $50 or something then it’s probably not worth getting until you find a discount. It’s not the kind of game you have to play day 1 after all, just play it once you see that it’s a convenient time to pick it up.

The graphics aren’t trying for anything special here but they look good enough. The characters are all recognizable right away. I’d maybe say this is more on the PS2 level than PS4 but as long as it’s clear that is the important part. The soundtrack is for the most part not very memorable but that does change in the final level where we get a final techno type theme once you get the gun. I thought that was a lot of fun and the game manages to give you a solid tune for the two boss fights against Slappy. I also give the game props for actually coming up with two real boss fights that have actual villain attacks and mechanics outside of the rest of the game where you’re just walking and interacting.

It’s the little things like that which showed that the game put in a bit of a real effort here. Ultimately it probably didn’t work since I hadn’t really heard anything about this game online before now but at least they tried. If they made a sequel to this I’d certainly be interested even if I think that is probably a long whiles away if it even happens at all.

So in the end whether you like this game or not will likely depend entirely on if you enjoy the first person style. You have to be in the mood for a fun horror game like this but if you enjoy that style then you will have a great time here. There are also a lot of important quality of life features here like constant save points so when you die you don’t have to redo a whole lot. That makes sense since the game is built around you dying a whole lot so it wouldn’t make sense if you had to go back every time. That would just end up being a drag right? One big issue that they somehow missed though was how you can’t skip dialogue. So if you die at the beginning of the boss fight then the villain will get his whole speech again.

It’s possible that the devs didn’t think about this because there aren’t many boss fights but wouldn’t it stand to reason that this is where you would be most likely to die? That’s definitely one thing I would change. The game is actually reasonably challenging which I appreciate. You will die a few times but in that case you don’t want to be stuck in cutscenes. Nothing will top the first Avatar game for Gamecube in that category but it’s always rough to feel stuck like that.

Overall, Goosebumps is a pretty fun game. You’ll definitely appreciate all the attentions to detail here. The first level is probably the best in terms of being a horror game though. Levels 2 and 3 start to become a bit more of an adventure. Particularly the third level since you get a gun in there while the second is more of a psychological horror as someone is giving you instructions and you have to decide if you will listen to him or not. The first is a classic horror though as you’re in an abandoned house with no way out and monsters around every corner. That’s definitely the level that you would be buying the game for without a doubt.

Overall 7/10

The Walking Dead Review

Posted on by
Reply


The Walking Dead is an interesting film. I bet a lot of you think about the TV show when you hear this title but this movie predates that by a considerable amount of time. It does sort of have a zombie as the main character though which is a fun coincidence as it were. What makes this film fairly unique is it’s a revenge film of sorts but one where the main character doesn’t really get the revenge directly. He spends most of the film being rather confused to be honest.

The movie starts off with a nice old man named John being tricked into being the fall guy for a bunch of crooks. The cops figure he is guilty of murder and unfortunately nobody can help him out. John’s own attorney is in on the scheme and intentionally defends him in a really poor way so that it appears John was insane and evil the whole time. John is sentenced to death and executed. Fortunately Dr. Evans is able to revive him using a very experimental procedure. John is now back from the dead and has a 6th sense in a way where he is able to tell someone’s true intentions and knows if they were partially responsible for his death. So he wants answers….why would anyone possibly want to bump him off or was it just a matter of being at the wrong place at the wrong time?

The uniqueness of the movie is in a way also part of the issue. See, in concept I’m not opposed to a revenge film like this where the main character is more interested in finding out the truth than enacting revenge. I think that can actually be rather compelling but for most of the movie it just feels like John is really unsure of himself and sort of hesitating a lot instead of being like a true detective. John is older so I can cut him a bit of slack but it means that he isn’t always the most engaging main character. You get the feeling he’s lucky that this was an older film because there’s a number of ways the mafia types could have taken him out in the present.

Where this premise gets fun though is we see weaponized karma to an extent as every villain starts getting bumped off in crazy ways. They just can’t help but die throughout the movie as they are bumped off one by one. You could maybe even say it is as if John is bumping them off through some kind of bad luck ability. In a way for the characters the scariest part about this is it means even if they were to quickly apologize or run to the cops they may still die. It’s not as if John is controlling these abilities. For most of the film he barely even knows what is going on.

The end of the film also tackles the question on if you should revive someone if you can or if that’s taking things a step too far. Personally I don’t believe it is possible to ever conquer death so the question is moot but hypothetically if we had the ability should we use it? It’s an interesting question and I would actually say yes to it. Because the way I see it, if you have the ability to save someone then you have to use it and I see the ability in that context. Of course someone like John had already lived out most of his life so you can see why he wanted to stay dead but letting him die is almost like destroying him so it’s a really tricky position.

In most things I say you let the individual choose what they want to do but this is a really close one. I dunno I don’t think it’s an easy question but it’s an interesting scenario. At the end of the day though when you see a title like “The Walking Dead” you are picturing a slasher type film where zombies are eating everyone and causing a mess. I’m super glad that wasn’t the case of course but the whole story almost feels a bit misleading. It’ a lot more subtle and low key than you may have been expecting. I would also say it’s less violent than I expected.

Yes, there are a lot of deaths and some of them are quite painful but it’s not like your classic Hammer film that really wants to zoom in on the details and slow everything down. The deaths here are mainly matter of fact so they go by really fast. The film also introduced the villains are being very unlikable so you were ready for them to get bumped off. As always the writing was very solid for this classic film though and so it worked pretty well to supplement the main story. With weaker writing this film could have easily crossed the line into being boring but fortunately that didn’t happen.

I do have to give a shout-out to the two witnesses at the beginning for being rather awful characters though. They were too scared to tell the truth of what happened which is the only way the frame-up was able to work at all. If they had spoken up sooner then they would have basically avoided this entire film. Sure the villains threatened them but letting someone else take the chair for you is a step too far. I’m glad they eventually came to the right decision of wanting to help him out but it was too late at that point thanks to the villains seemingly being everywhere so they were able to slow this down. The villains definitely planned this one out thoroughly.

Overall, The Walking Dead is a fairly chill film but once I understood that this wasn’t going for a more action packed angle then it worked well enough for me. The opening scene actually is fairly tragic because it’s probably everyone’s worst fear to have an attorney intentionally sabotage you. Once you are in the court room you are really putting your life in the attorney’s hands so to see this backfire has to be incredibly unnerving. It’s also hard to know what to do at that point and even if you were to jump in and say you want to represent yourself, it’s too late by that point. I think you’ll have a good time with this one. It’s also quite short so it’s not like it’ll take much time for you to watch this one all the way through.

Overall 7/10

The Invisible Man (2020) Review

Posted on by
4

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to take a look at the Invisible Man. After the Mummy remake turned out to be fairly bad, it was time for this one to shake things up. Unfortunately I am here to tell you that the Mummy was significantly better which is not a good thing. This one ultimately takes an approach to the story that was likely doomed from the start and any promising aspects are overwhelmed by the negatives. I do think that a sequel would automatically be starting off in a much better place though and I’m ready for that.

The movie starts off with Cecilia escaping from her abusive boyfriend Adrian and drives off with her sister Emily. Cecilia lives with James and his daughter Sydney as she hides out from him. One day she finds out that Adrian destroyed himself but it feels rather odd that he would just give up like that. Sure enough, he appears to be back but invisible somehow and he intends to keep tormenting her and isolating her from her friends and family. Can Cecilia stop him or at this point is he a ghost that can’t truly be stopped?

Right off the bat what the film did wrong here is it went too far on showing just how psychotic Adrian was as the villain. We learn quite a bit about the abuse and how far it went into gritty territory and once you go there it’s pretty much a death sentence for a film. You want to go in there and get ready for some thrilling chase scenes and wonder how the heroine will come out on top. Instead now there was already so much damage done that it’s like you’ve lost the fight before it even began. Just a very unfortunate way to kick things off and so you’re not able to have a whole lot of fun during the film. Cecilia is naturally very traumatized for almost the whole film. There’s a lot of crying and a somber tone throughout the movie so at the end of the day what you’ve got is a very emotional horror title as opposed to a thrilling one.

Now, when you have a villain who is invisible you figure it’s going to be very hard to stop him. That’s part of the fear factor in dealing with such a villain and yet the movie starts to mess up there. There’s one point in the film where the Invisible Man murders someone right next to Cecilia and then tries to frame her for this. The big issue of course is that with the security footage you should immediately be able to see that the knife was lifted on its own and that she didn’t do it. This was a very fancy restaurant so they had to have cameras in there and the worst part is that you could have easily written around that. Have him wait until she picks up the knife to eat some food later on and then stab the victim with that.

There wasn’t any food ordered yet but that’s just a clean way of doing it. Most aspects of the Invisible Man work beyond that like his being super silent is fine. I can definitely see that working based on how the invisibility works. It’s not really a stretch. I’m a bit more iffy on his walking through the metal detectors at the entry of the prison but sure lets say the suit is fully plastic. One more iffy part is when he’s taking out a whole platoon of guards though. So for context his suit was damaged earlier so he was flickering in and out a whole lot, however during the fight it almost works perfectly so he vanishes for large amounts of time. It starts flickering again once he’s outside but even if he was invisible the whole fight, the guards could have handled that way better.

It’s obvious that Cecilia isn’t stabbing them because she’s on the ground many feet away. So once the guards start going down they should be firing in all directions to clip the villain or throwing a punch. They should be doing something at least right? Instead they just keep pointing their guns at Cecilia and telling her to stand down when that’s not helping matters at all. It is an interesting fight scene of course and I can even buy the Invisible Man beating them all, but just not in the way that it went down.

If I’m going to drill down further I think another big issue here is the film overexplained why this would all be feasible for Adrian to the point where people should have believed this more. Adrian is the world’s foremost expert on optic technology. If someone were to be invisible, well it would have to use optical technology right? That shouldn’t be a stretch to say that he found a way to do it and faked his death. So at least have someone look into it. Additionally his mansion seemed fully intact and as if nobody really went in to dig around. If they had then they might have seen something.

Now the film does have a pretty intense ending that has a lot of potential for a sequel. It was a drastic way for one character to go but I think it makes for a powerful ending and honestly there probably weren’t any alternatives at that point. There was no way to take things further within the realms of the law there. I hope this character puts on the brakes and doesn’t escalate further though as there was sort of an implied threat at the end. Right now I think this person would follow through on that threat but I hope it doesn’t come down to that. My only issue is that one character looks worse retroactively here.

Put it this way, there is only one way for the ending to work and it requires having certain equipment. The owner of this equipment should have known way before this scene that it was gone and that would eliminate the element of surprise right? I mean this character knows there is only one person who would steal this and so he would be very prepared for what might come later on? You also question the house alignment not to notice what was being prepped.

Well, there’s a lot to analyze here but pretty much all of that I can overlook except for the restaurant scene which was a bit much. Maybe also the kid (Sydney) getting punched since you can really tell the difference when you’re getting punched by the Invisible Man or Cecilia. Cmon now there is a massive difference there and the texture would also be very different considering how the Invisible Man would have hit her. Okay this actually makes another nitpick come to mind here.

So when he follows her into various places like the prison cell, hospital, etc. No matter how fast he is, how does nobody notice how the door stays open for an extra second? Unless you tell me that he perfect times it to dash after them before the door closes or slips under their arm while they hold it open, that should be really tough to manage each and every time. This one’s a full nitpick though since it can be done and since the Invisible Man is a martial arts master he has full control over his body and all.

The concept of the Invisible Man is pretty cool and there’s a lot of utility there in a horror, action, or even comedy context. There’s a lot you can do with this but they should have just made him a random psycho/mass murderer instead of going for the abusive angle here. If you’re going to go that route then just don’t go all the way and keep it to minimal physical/emotional violence like a few hits or something. That’s still incredibly serious without going all the way into grim dark territory.

I was glad that the dog didn’t die here so I’ll give the film some props there. Ultimately while Cecilia didn’t handle some situations as well as she could have, she did well in escaping during the intro and taking care of business by the end. I’d say she worked well as the lead. Her sister Emily also did a good job It was a bit annoying that she was so slow to starting the car in the intro which nearly cost Cecilia everything but beyond that she was a steadfast ally the whole time. Ultimately she had to go through a lot and it was reasonable that she had a point where she got upset because it’s hard to believe that what happened to her was a frame-up.

James was a good guy who helped give Cecilia a place to stay and heal on her terms. He was a supportive guy all the way through to the end and that’s why if Cecilia were to turn on him then that would lose her a lot of points. Yes he also had a point where he distanced himself but considering the context I don’t see how you could possibly blame him at all. I don’t see how Cecilia could either because she would fully understand. Same goes for Sydney who does her best to be supportive to a point. The final supporting character is Adrian’s brother Tom and naturally you’ll be suspicious of him the whole time. The instant that he says he’ll just let Cecilia have all the money without a fuss you figure there has to be something to this guy.

Overall, The Invisible Man’s main problem is that it’s just not a very enjoyable film for most of the run as it can be tough to watch for large chunks of it. It’s a very somber title with a whole lot of dark elements and while a horror film can be visually dark, it should also be very engaging and have its share of moments where it’s lighthearted or at least you’re having fun enjoying something. The film can be quite violent but I would say it’s definitely not on the same level as most slashers or big time horror films so the movie actually did show some restraint on that end. Now based on what the plot for the sequel can be, we’re either going to see one of the biggest jumps in quality for a sequel yet or it’s going to double down and things will get tricky from there. We’ll see how it plays out but as long as it includes some fun this time around then we should be good.

Overall 1/10