Tag Archives: Horror

The Final Destination Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Final Destination film but unfortunately the series has yet to turn the corner and manage to deliver a solid experience. The films just don’t have much of a hook here since the heroes have no shot at winning and can only wait for their inevitable demise. At that point there just isn’t much left for you and it ends up being a film where you’re just waiting for everybody to meet with sudden and rather grim endings.

The movie starts with Nick and his friends at a Nascar event. It was supposed to be a fun time but they are all wiped out in a tragic accident. Fortunately this accident was actually just a dream of the future and so Nick is able to get a few people out in time. It’s seen as a miracle although some are upset that he didn’t save more people. Unfortunately what they are about to find out is that dying at the racetrack would have been the easier path. Death isn’t happy now and plans to make them pay for this with really prolonged deaths.

The films never make it super clear on who gives Nick the visions. Is it Death just to make things more fun or is there some kind of counter force trying to help out? I hope it’s the former just because if someone is trying to help, they’re doing a rather bad job of it. In most of the films it’s mentioned how Death isn’t happy when people escape his wrath so that would imply he’s not the one doing it but I choose to believe he’s just trolling. The other explanations just aren’t very satisfying.

As the main character Nick isn’t terrible but there really aren’t many likable characters here at all. Some of the other characters make him look good in comparison but he’s in a rather toxic friend group and that’s a red flag in itself. He does have the makings of a detective with how he is able to make large leaps to figure out what’s about to happen but it’s not like he’s ever able to make a difference. He can buy some time but at the end he realizes that he was playing right into Death’s hands either way. You can’t win a rigged game and so all of his efforts did not help.

The film is as violent as you’d expect with the films continually trying to top themselves. Each death is really dragged out to the max so they last forever although this does make it easier to avert your gaze for the moment of impact if you don’t really want to see it all. At the end of the day that is supposed to be the film’s appeal after all. The anticipation of the murder coming up and how intense it’ll be. So you’re out of the target audience right away if you’re not trying to see all that.

The film certainly puts a lot of budget into the special effects and it shows so I can give the film credit there. It would be nice if they could have sneaked in some good characters as well though. Hunt seems to pretty much be a bully the whole time and actively looks forward to seeing people get murdered which isn’t cool. Janet decides to deny the obvious truth that they’re all being hunted and stays in an area that would only speed up her death. The theater itself isn’t inherently dangerous but when everyone’s telling you to leave, it’s probably time to go. I guess at least she had one of the quicker deaths.

Then you’ve got the poor security guard who got roped into this and ultimately gives up, only for death to give him hope before taking it away. There was a mom who seemed nice enough but she isn’t spared either. At the end of the day, whether you’re a nice character or not, you’re going down all the same but it’s particularly rough for the characters who have no idea what is going on. I guess it’s not like that knowledge would help them out though.

There is just barely a plot here as the characters run in circles reacting to death other’s deaths until it is all over. The film does continue to leave us with a rather sudden ending though and they usually try to land a little dark humor here. I’m not sure if this one is completely going for that or not but it’s so sudden that it works either way. While it may not be super satisfying, it is expected and was handled better than expected. At least the X ray vision helps to make things a little less violent.

Maybe if they put the whole film in x ray vision it would be better, although even then I don’t think it would be by a wide margin. The film would still come across as mean spirited and going too far out of its way to make every death as disturbing as possible. If the kills could at least be normal and quick it wouldn’t be as bad. Make it more of a thriller to stay alive and just tone down the slasher/horror elements. At least they’re so crazy that you won’t get paranoid about your every day appliances as you figure none of that can actually happen in real life.

Overall, Final Destination is not going to succeed in being a good film until it fundamentally changes something about how these titles play out. Whether it is in establishing a weakness for Death or in allowing some kind of other entity to show up and fight him, there needs to be more than just a long adventure about everyone dying in the end. Without more substance to the film, it just ends up being an overly violent, edgy mess. I’ll be reviewing the next film in the saga soon but needless to say, not much has changed.

Overall 1/10

Child’s Play (1972) Review

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It’s time for a film with a lot of suspense as you know something strange is going on but you don’t know exactly what it is. Well, it definitely succeeds in being a rather eery film with the kind of atmosphere that is hard to match nowadays. That said, the resolution isn’t particularly satisfying and just about all of the characters have to consistently drop the ball in order for the film’s events to play out in this way. It makes you wish that some real adults would show up already.

The film starts off by showing us that the children in a local Catholic School have all gone absolutely crazy. They are terrorizing each other and the events are only escalating. In particular they all seem to dislike one teacher, Malley who is infamously known as Lash. The guy is a really harsh teacher, someone who demands absolute respect and holds the kids to a high standard. Another teacher named Dobbs is always saying that he wants Malley to go easier on the boys but the guy refuses. Meanwhile Malley mentions that e is being harassed a whole lot as well as his sickly mother. He blames it all on Dobbs while Dobbs says that he is crazy. Meanwhile an alumni named Paul shows up to be the new gym teacher but really doesn’t know what he is getting into.

There’s a mix of supernatural elements here as well as a more practical enemy. It’s an odd balance as you can’t totally tell where one part ends and the other begins. I assume that is intentionally left up to your interpretation. The supernatural part was also necessary because otherwise it’s just hard to believe that things would have gone this bad this quickly. There are hundreds of boys in the Catholic school and yet a huge amount of them have turned rogue. It’s all very calculated and then the victims don’t even fight back and if anything just make it easier to become the next victims. Nothing at this school really makes sense.

So that’s really a big part of the mystery that Paul needs to figure out. The guy is really out of his depth from the start though and just being away from the kids for a few minutes is enough for the next person to be turned into a victim. With speed like that, you really have to be perfect in order to prevent anything from going on. It’s an unrealistic burden that nobody can possibly live up to. And yet, that is the burden that he ultimately has to bear as long as he’s here. Honestly he should have ducked out right away but I give him bravery points for sticking it out.

He’s just not too smart about it all. Remember that at least 20 kids are going around causing these issues and attacking other students. Paul is an adult but he’s only around 20, barely older than the other students. If it becomes a 20 on 1 fight, realistically Paul won’t be able to do much of anything. Yet, he easily allows himself to be alone in an environment where there is nobody to back him up. Just no common sense there at all.

I’m also unclear why the police haven’t gotten involved. Sure, the school isn’t contacting folks, but the hospital has records and then you also have the parents who should be getting more and more vocal with how often this has been going on. By the end the situation is finally being handled but it sure took a very long while. Everyone within the school takes some blame among the faculty because they were way too lenient and slow to react.

Dobbs does his best to look like the kind teacher the whole time but does tend to lay things on a bit thick. He does a good job of always looking very concerned and only blows up on occasion. He does come off as more reasonable than Malley although that guy isn’t actually that bad. He’s strict, but never abusive or anything like that. He doesn’t lay a hand on the students and while he blasts them about their mistakes, all of the students do make a lot of mistakes. Ultimately when everyone fails like this, it does reflect most on the teacher though. So I would say he probably needs to improve on his own curriculum here.

As for all of Malley’s concerns like the terrorizing phone calls, weird magazines, etc. The main message here is to not let yourself get gaslit. When things are happening, you always have to trust yourself above all to know that it’s real no matter how many people say you’re lying. I’m a little surprised he couldn’t take a more active approach to all of this though. There is no guarantee of success for anything of course but if he had brought in physical evidence or started recording the calls or contacting the police, something could have happened. You have to disrupt the status quo at the very least. If he’s sure that Dobbs is the one doing it, then he has to do something about this or it’ll only get worse.

I would say the main thing holding the film back here is how mean spirited it could get and of course how nobody was doing anything about this. There is quite a lot of bullying going on here and since the victims can’t fight back either due to the supernatural element or full on fear, the adults had to step up. Every time they have a meeting with 0 results you have to shake your head. It felt like a film where the ending had no real hope from the beginning. So it’s like you’re on a slow ride to dark end with no hope of getting out in sight. Doesn’t quite make for the most enjoyable kind of experience right?

Overall, Not every film has a happy ending and a horror film makes that even more likely. How good these films will be can usually e boiled down to how solid the characters are and if you felt like there was at least some hope along the way. Some point where you could be having fun during the movie. That’s never really the case here and while there are several teachers, they all tend to be rather useless when it counts. The movie is very much a slow burner but when the characters are helpless to stop the impending evil, it’s not the most effective approach. If you like really sinister kinds of films with this atmosphere then you may enjoy this one but ultimately while it is a step above the average slasher kind of film, I still wouldn’t call it a good horror title.

Overall 3/10

Puppet Master II Review

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The Puppet Master is one of those films where you know it’s going to be bad right out of the gate. The question becomes, just how bad is it really? If it’s only normal levels of bad then it could be a lot worse but if it’s terrible like the first film then you’re in trouble. Well, I can safely say that this one is in the terrible category. There isn’t much good to say about the film and ultimately it doesn’t justify the purpose of having a sequel in the first place. There aren’t really any new ideas and once again the characters are all losing to a bunch of tiny puppets. A true skill issue if you think about it.

After the events of the first film, the puppets go and bring the original Puppet Master back to life. Unfortunately this guy has now become looney after his death and thinks that the reincarnated version of his wife is here. We then cut to a bunch of researchers who are at the murder house to find out if psychic phenomenon is real or not. The psychic they hire definitely thinks that this is the real deal and prepares to leave but gets bumped off by the puppets. The rest of the group are also in danger now and may be picked off as well if they can’t find a way to take these puppets down. Can they actually defeat them though?

Now one thing you have to remember is that the puppets are not very powerful. They are small and weak, while also lacking any kind of true offensive capabilities. All they can really do is rely on sneak attacks. There is one exception, which is the Darth Vader looking puppet which has an active flamethrower. With this firepower it can easily destroy any opponent. Whenever a human would lose to this guy I would them a little slack. The other puppets are all much weaker though so you should be able to defeat them rather easily. Even the flamethrower isn’t too tough if you are expecting it, but the real tricky thing is if you don’t know that the weapon exists in the first place. In that case, it is definitely fair to fall beneath its overwhelming might.

The humans are all rather unlikable once again though so that’s a shame. In some ways they may not be as bad as the psychics from the first film who were all really looney but these guys can’t manage to stay focused for long either. There is a lot of flirting right out of the gate and the main characters don’t really know how to stick together against the villains. As soon as the first puppet is found (shortly after murdering someone) they should have all been on high alert. Yet, they still split up a lot.

A very mysterious guy in bandages shows up and while the heroes think he is weird, they are not overly concerned. This is now a murder scene so surely anyone who claims to live here should be a massive suspect right? I dare say that a citizen’s arrest should even be in order here. Don’t give this guy any kind of freedom or you will end up regretting it later on. The characters here aren’t the brightest but at least they aren’t actively tying each other up like in the first film so that is some progress.

A big problem that they all make it taking too long though. Like when the psychic finds out that the place is evil, she doesn’t immediately leave and instead plans to go either late at night or in the morning. Plenty of time for the puppets to take her down and unfortunately, she was unable to put up enough of a struggle to get the others involved.

Then you have the next door neighbors who are rather mean for no reason. The lady does pretty well for a little while there but then of course she ends up getting overconfident and makes a big speech before going down. This is the kind of film where you know that resistance is futile and so it does take away from the struggles. While that may be true for a lot of horror films, it is the movie’s job to try and get you to feel like there is at least some kind of chance. If you don’t think that there is any chance…well that takes the fun out of it right?

As you can expect, most of the murders are rather violent. Since the puppets are small, it takes a lot of hits to finish off the main characters and usually that means the kills are really dragged out. You’re just waiting for the film to mov on to something a bit more creative but it doesn’t happen. That’s because the movie isn’t trying to do anything too creative or subversive. It’s just going through the motions in a rather soulless way. No quality writing to help you out here.

I think if the series wants to have any chance of being better, it needs to move beyond the house in the next film. Yes, we had the next door neighbors up the road, but that barely counts and naturally the cattle started dying for the main villain’s plans which didn’t help matters. Have the puppets go into the city and then we get a war against the army. Sure it would be rather campy but that’s the case for the main movie as well. At least this could give the film some entertainment value because as it is now, it’s not even funny.

Overall, This is your average slasher from start to finish. It’s really violent with most of the characters existing only to get bumped off. It was nostalgic seeing some of the puppets from the first film but it’s not like they have grown much stronger since then. It’s still hard to take them seriously as villains at all. The whole time you are just shaking your head. I would definitely recommend giving this one a skip. There is no real reason you need to watch this movie and I doubt the sequels are really going to raise the bar all that much anyway.

Overall 2/10

Insidious: The Red Door Review

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Insidious has definitely fallen onto tough times over the years. I wish I could say it ended with a real bang but unfortunately this film was not even remotely good. It falls into pretty much all of the big horror traps you can think of. Annoying characters, a lackluster story, etc. There was really nothing about the movie that would really attract you to it and by the end it just feels like a waste. There isn’t even a really hype end stinger to leave the film off on a high note. They came close because I thought one character was about to turn evil but surprisingly this did not happen.

The film starts off with showing us how strained the relationship with Josh and his son Dalton is. Dalton is a super spoiled kid who is a jerk to everybody, but especially his father. The kid has really checked out and just wants to go to college to be away from his family. Josh ended up going through a divorce so he’s not doing great right now but is convinced by his ex to drive Dalton to school. The problem is that the hypnosis placed on both of them to forget their old memories has nearly come undone. The door to the Further is opening again and the demons are waiting by the gates. This could end up being fatal for the main characters.

One of the big problems this film has is that Dalton eats up the majority of the screentime and he never gets a whole lot better. He’s super annoying throughout the movie and seems like the kind of character who is easy to manipulate. His roommate ends up being a girl named Chris who teaches him all about going to the dark side and becoming a total delinquent. Unfortunately for her, she is now roped into this death battle against the demons since Dalton wants to try out his astral projection ability. I have to agree with Chris being upset about this because it does put her in a lot of trouble right out of the gate. Not a very pleasant thing for a friend to be doing right? Dalton doesn’t really put a whole lot of thought into her safety at all.

Until the ending you could also say there’s not much reason for Dalton to be messing with this ability. If anything, all of the signs point to this being a mistake like how he keeps drawing doors and even injures himself from drawing too hard. These are massive signs to stay away from the supernatural. At least in the end he gets to bond a bit with his father but it was a long road to get there and basically any scene over at the school was a rough one. Meanwhile Chris was at least taking things in stride a lot more but I still can’t give her many points because of what a bad influence she was. If you thought that sorority/frat parties sounded bad, this film won’t change your mind.

Josh’s story is a whole lot more interesting which is why it should have gotten more screentime. Basically the hypnosis did a lot of damage to his life like contributing to his divorce and in the years since then his mind has been really foggy. The hypnosis did a number on his brain after all and so he was really put in a tough spot here. Now I don’t think it’s earned when he is mad at his ex though because he did try to murder her while possessed. At that point I think you do basically lose any kind of argument for how things could have worked out. It was also apparently partially his idea to be mind wiped.

Ultimately Josh just needed to do a better job of resisting the demons and I know that is easier said than done. Still, at least he feels like a tougher character than Dalton and is just more fun. You won’t see him being pressured into doing anything too crazy. The plots take a long while to converge though which is unfortunate. Also one of the most jarring exposition scenes is when Chris randomly finds a video about people discussing astral projection. The odds of her finding these guys in particular is one thing but they act like this is a fascinating new concept. Everyone knows what Astral Projection is, I don’t see what was so shocking about this. Believing that it is real would be shocking, but not the concept itself.

As for the scares, it’s basically your average kind of jump scares. The film relies a bit too much on gross type horror like one character puking and a lot of the demons just looking really ugly. It’s more grotesque than scary and the iconic villain only has a cameo this time around. The human possession is also one of the less scary kinds of horror villains because you’d rather be seeing the demon try to fight them. This doesn’t seem like final film material, it could have been the threat for any of the films in this series.

The writing is okay I suppose but without any real likable characters that does limit the film’s potential right off the bat. Then the film can also feel a bit on the long side as a result. I gotta say, the movie could and should have been a whole lo better than it was. The way it turned out, it’s not a film I would be interested in re watching.

Overall, Insidious: The Red Door suffers from being a standard horror film. It doesn’t come close to matching the visuals of the original Insidious and it’s lacking anything all that memorable. It’s not the worst Insidious film but you will struggle to find any real positives about it. Horror films seem to be allergic to good characters most of the time but they would do the genre a whole world of good. Next time they should spend more time on the characters and less on the horror setup. We don’t need Dalton to draw the same things numerous times and calling his brother to confirm that something weird is going on. The scenes never go anywhere until the very end.

Overall 2/10

The Black Room Review

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The Black Room is a reminder that sometimes characters really don’t know what they are doing and fall for the most obvious traps imaginable. While watching this film, I had to see character after character just make absolutely massive mistakes. They were all very preventable which was the worst part. The film can be funny at times in an ironic kind of way but as a whole I would say the film still ends up falling flat. It’s definitely far from my highest recommendation within the genre.

The film begins with a king being rather worried because the prophecy says that his younger kid will murder the older one within the Black Room. An advisor wisely says to just bury the room so the king does. Many years pass and Anton decides to go home to see his brother. Gregor had always seemed worried that Anton would murder him so Anton gave him space but by now things should be fine. He is rather surprised to learn that everybody hates Gregor but doesn’t put much stock in it. He knows that his brother is a force for good after all. Well, as it so happens, Gregor is a rather big villain who had been disappearing all of the women in the village and doesn’t really bother hiding this. Now that he needs to since Anton’s IQ is in the single digits. Can Anton escape with his life?

I’d say all of the characters have a little bit of blame in a film like this. First off is the fact that the Colonel never made a move against Gregor sooner. He finds the guy deplorable but still plays chess with him often and isn’t trying to arrest the guy. After a point if people keep disappearing after seeing Gregor you gotta make some kind of a move. It’s also not like Gregor is denying anything, he just relaxes and acts smug the whole time. The Colonel only cares once the situation involves his own daughter and even then he is slow on the uptake.

“I’ll expose you to the world and get you hanged! Now let me make a call to the police” Naturally turning your back to a supposed mass murderer when you’re alone with him in a room full of solid objects is a really bad idea. Then you have the house attendant. “Hey, I’m going to spread some really bad rumors about you to ensure you will never get with the girl you like. Don’t you dare try and stop me…” This line of argumentation didn’t go over very well for her either as you can probably guess.

Anton’s is probably the absolute worst though. He follows Gregor into a basement where Gregor starts to talk about all of his crimes at length. Anton is in such denial that he starts spamming questions. All of Gregor’s responses are a simple “Yes”. Anton finally runs out of questions and slowly it begins to dawn on him. He will not be leaving this room alive. He’s really not all that bright but neither are the rest of the characters.

Even Gregor as the first time he is found out for his hand writing, it’s a rather obvious blunder. Just write with your non dominant hand. It might look a little messy but taking a big gamble there isn’t very smart. He really only has himself to blame for getting exposed as the guy has no patience. He’s also lucky that this was the most subdued mob ever s usually he would have been torn apart the first time they visited the house. The film had nonstop plot armor the whole time which was just annoying.

Even the main heroine Thea came across as hopelessly naive. It felt like every character immediately liked her. Her own fiancé warned her about this and she was quick to dismiss his worries. Another idea that didn’t go well by just continuing to make appearances. She needed to find a way to just leave town along with him. Even if the main villain wasn’t crazy, it’s probably not a good idea to hang out with royalty when there’s even a chance that they like you romantically. That kind of deal goes badly even in real life because of how much authority they have. The fiancé is also taken down rather easily although at least unlike the other victims, it was in a way that he could not possibly have escaped. It just makes Thea look worse for being ready to move on.

Rebounds are always sketchy, but especially when your first partner goes out in such a violent way. The movie isn’t particularly dark or violent as the deaths are pretty quick or off screened but it definitely does get annoying to see them all make these mistakes over and over again. At some point you really need to just connect the dots. Like I said before it can be funny in an ironic kind of way at times but that’s definitely not what the film was going for. It’s just easy to poke fun at how badly the characters handle every twist of fate. How the town let things get this bad is beyond me.

It’s implied that Gregor made many women disappear. Not just 2-3 but quite a lot and the families just let this go every time? That kind of plot works when it’s the King and he has an army or something but it’s well documented here that everyone hates Gregor and he has no backup. Forget the mob, some vigilante would have taken him out by now right? The world building just didn’t connect with what was happening on screen and the villain got away with too much.

Overall, The Black Room is definitely not a good film. The characters are all as dumb as rocks and the whole movie would not be happening if the characters were thinking straight. They really should have handled things way differently and the fact that they didn’t feels like plot armor that was not nearly subtle enough. It’s not a particularly scary film either and I was actually expecting more supernatural elements. I dare say that those would have really helped the movie out in the long term. Not like it would have saved things either way I guess. In any event, you can definitely do much better within the genre.

Overall 4/10

Poppy’s Playtime Chapter 4 Review

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It’s time for a very emotional game. Poppy’s Playtime has been a fairly intense video game series where almost every journey ends with tragedy. Most of the characters do not get a happy ending and at this point they are just hoping to get out of this place alive. It’s hard to say how many chapters there will be but this one does feel as though we are approaching the ending. Potentially just one chapter left now but we’ll have to see how that goes. This was my first journey where it was just one chapter by itself so that was different. It does mean that the game goes a lot faster than the collection.

Chapter 3 ended with the hero finally getting close to the safe haven so things should go well from here. Poppy will go check on Missy while you go forward to save the day. The only thing you did not count on was that the danger is still ever present. Well, I guess you probably did figure on that to be honest. You’ll have to use your wits and reflexes to stay alive once more because these villains still intend to destroy you as soon as they can. There may not be a whole lot of enemies left but each one packs a punch. Are any of the creatures on your side? Or are you walking right into a trap?

Along the way you will learn a lot of lore through your surroundings as well as the various audio tapes. They can get a little repetitive at times though as it feels like the game is drip-feeding you the information much slower than before. You need multiple tapes just for the characters to be begging for their lives during the experiments. It’s pretty clear that the villains got away with a whole lot back in the lab and you can definitely see why they are all eliminated.

The gameplay itself is solid but the story does often tread into the valleys of being a little too extra grim dark. You’re more interested in the present and staying alive than the mystery of what happened before. Personally I would say the best thing for the game to do would be to keep it as secretive as possible. The more open you keep the past, the better it will work for theory crafting. I suppose its existence does give the game a lot of replay value though as I’m sure a whole lot of people enjoy going through the rooms slowly to try and find every possible collectible. Even outside of those, you will often find messages on the tables and walls .

I would say the core gameplay is platforming but there is also a lot of puzzle solving. You need to connect different objects and also piece together patterns. For the most part the game is reasonable with these but there was one puzzle involving anatomy that I thought was a little unreasonable. I had to brute force it and am still not really sure how to do it logically. The red smoke made it so hard to explore and it felt like this puzzle had a number of red herrings. That only made things even trickier. When it comes to the platforming itself, I found it to be much easier than the third game. I still did die a whole lot during the game but nothing quite as crazy as the final boss in part 3.

The toughest segments for me here were typically when I had to use stealth and get past the monster. Their hearing is quite sharp and sometimes their speeds were lightning quick. It’s why I was really grateful for all the checkpoints in the game. Without that it would have definitely taken even longer to complete the game. It would certainly be easier if we could carry a better weapon. The flare gun that the lead has is okay but certainly not the most powerful thing around. It’s mostly good for just scaring the opposition.

The story took around 3 hours to beat and we got over half of the collectibles but not quite all of them. The platinum trophy actually looks rather difficult so that would add a lot of replay value. Of course keep in mind that the game is fairly cheap even when it just came out so it makes the play time a lot more tolerable. You are still getting a good amount of value for your purchase with this one.

The graphics are also pretty solid here. The game definitely does get the horror vibe across well. Even I got startled a few times in the game when I would get caught. It’s a mix of well placed sound design as well as a color scheme that just really works with this. It’s hard not to get scared at least a little while playing the game. The soundtrack is less impressive but I do get why they would do that. If the soundtrack got too hype or something like that then it could definitely take away from the scare factor of it all.

My main complaint with the game would be that it does have the most breaks in action. Or at least it felt that way where there would be several points of listening to long monologues from the villains while you can’t move. With the audio tapes those are optional and you can still move so that’s fine but when you can’t move you wish the villains would pick up the pace a bit. You also figure they should have been able to beat the main character several times so the longer they talk, the more you have to suspend a little disbelief here. It’ll be interesting to see who the main character is by the end. By this point all signs are pointing to him not being some ordinary human.

Overall, Poppy’s Playtime Chapter 4 isn’t quite ready to give us any of the important answers but you still feel that we are getting closer to the end. There just aren’t many villains left to defeat after all and it’s also the kind of game where I’m not expecting that we will get all of the answers. Although there will likely be a lot of them that I just don’t notice during the main story so that’ll be where Youtube comes in handy. If you’ve been keeping up with Poppy then you should definitely jump in now. The game is reasonably difficult and quite intense so you will definitely be kept interested the whole time.

Overall 6/10

Meg 2: The Trench Review

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It’s time for the big sequel to the original Meg title. The first one wasn’t exactly a top caliber film and unfortunately neither is this one. The Trench certainly does throw in a whole lot more action when it comes to the human combatants but it will also be a long while until you see the Sharks in action. In a sense that can be a good thing for the film since the sharks are usually going to be the title’s downfall. At the same time, you know they will show up eventually so either way it’s not like this will have much of an effect long term. In that case, you might as well get it over with. Sure enough, the film does fall into old habits at that point.

The film focuses around Jonas who has been fighting off eco-terrorists and saving the day from the shadows. His crew is also busy raising one of the Megs and Jiuming is even so overconfident as to think that the Meg won’t eat him. This puts him into danger almost immediately but somehow he manages to get to safety. Everyone tells him what a bad idea this is but he doesn’t care. The heroes go further into the ocean than they had planned and end up finding out that there are several Megs. They just won’t have time to do much about this because of an insurrection. Turns out corporate still has a few tricks up their sleeve and now the heroes will be stuck underwater…forever. Can Jonas figure a way out of here?

A good chunk of the film is really an underwater survival mission. How do you get out of a submarine with no escape pods left and the villains watching your every move? This will definitely make you even more paranoid about being left so far under the sea. It’s just not a good business move especially when it seems like there is a traitor behind every door. Corporate doesn’t have the greatest of plans here as they basically pull a Jurassic World but we have the villainous smirks and cackling throughout the film which is the real important thing. You can tell that these villains really think the world of themselves.

Jonas is a solid lead as always. He is a solid fighter and doesn’t underestimate the terrors of the deep. He is always the voice of reason here and ultimately is the one to get things done. Without him the rest of the crew would not have lasted more than a few minutes. They are seriously outmatched without him there at all times. That’s why Jonas is the head honcho after all.

Meiying is supposed to be the fun child character but she does tend to be more on the annoying side. Stowing away on a dangerous underwater adventure is really not the play. She may have some scientific knowledge that comes in handy from time to time but she also spends a whole lot of time just slowing everyone down. She is physically unable to compete when the going gets tough and that is exactly why kids stay out of missions like this.

Unfortunately Jiuming may be even worse at times. He was a second away from completely traumatizing the kid by getting eaten by the Meg. He was way too confident in his sonar gadget and should have been doing a whole lot of further test studies before actually getting in the ocean. He had to rely on pure luck to stay alive and I can tell you now that this is not a good meter for success. You can’t count on luck to bail you out of every opportunity. That’s just not happening, it’s not a good way to play the odds.

The guy doesn’t really learn his lesson as he is constantly running into danger. Now you may be wondering if every character was completely unprepared for action but I can at least say that DJ was ready. This guy decided to properly arm himself in case the going got tough. Some would call him paranoid, I would call him realistic. This is exactly the kind of initiative I like to see in these events. He had some hand to hand skills, a taser, and other miscellaneous equipment. He saves the day on several accounts here. Every time you think DJ is done, he pulls something else out of his toolbox.

He really stole the show in his quick scenes here. I wish I could say the same about the villains. The lady had a great line though where she asks if another villain is crying. That about sums up how threatening these guys are to be honest. This does give us a chance to give Jonas a solid one liner as he kicks someone off a bridge later on though. When the film leans into a little bit of cheesy behavior, you know that it has a ton of confidence. On the whole the film had a good blend of action and humor. I would say the tone was solid and the fight scenes even had some good choreography. One mistake the film had was in having the best action scene be at the very beginning of the film though. When you peak that early there are always going to be some problems.

So like I said the sharks don’t appear for a while. Unless you count the opening scene I suppose. So the film was mainly doing good but once the Sharks show up then the animal violence begins. One of the big problems with creature films like this is how the monsters don’t actually end up being all that scary. The main character is ultimately able to take a few on with just basic equipment after all. Not the best look for these creatures right? So sadly they are stabbed and blown up. Also the opening scene is fairly graphic with all of the animals getting chopped.

It’s why the creature genre tends to be doomed on arrival. Either the monsters show up and get crushed, or they don’t appear much and you were in a whole bait and switch operation. In either event, the film is probably not going to get the highest score. I would say if you take out all of the animals then this could have been an easy 6 out of 10. Throw in all of the shark bashing and of course it’s going to go lower. Props to the film for not bumping off the dog though, now that would have been really crossing the line.

Overall, Meg 2 feels impressively long but I can’t tell if that’s a good thing and the writers packed a lot in or it means that the pacing was a bit slower than I thought. Either way if you’re here for the sharks then you may find the first half way too slow but if you’re here for the character banter then the second half may not match up for you. If you’re a Dinosaur film then you’ll probably have a good time here because their role is way bigger than I thought it would be. Personally I figured that would maybe just be the opening scene or something but they actually stick around. I think it’s probably time for this series to retire but if we get a third then the only way to top this will be to finally add aliens or something like that.

Overall 3/10

Puppet Master Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those disgraceful movies. This one never even got to start on a high note and so you knew immediately that it wouldn’t be any good. Puppets can make for interesting villains at times but this one is definitely just going for shock value the whole time with no real substance at play. Throw in a bunch of annoying characters and you have an absolute recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with the Puppet Master bumping himself off instead of fighting off the evil villains. We then cut to the present where a group of psychic power users are summoned by their old “friend” Neil. These people are the best at what they do. Whether it is seeing the future, seeing the past, or being able to use wards, they are ready for anything. You might call them something like the Psychic Avengers! When they all walk into a room you will be shocked at what little aura any of them possesses. It’s almost as if they drain it from the room. Here’s the strange thing though, Neil is dead and has clearly been that way for a long while. How come none of these psychics sensed that? How did Neil summon them while dead? Well surely it wouldn’t hurt to stay in his mansion for one night?…….can they survive the puppets?

I mean maybe you could feel a little bad for them if they were upstanding citizens but they all look terrible from the jump. Frank and Carissa are way too self absorbed as they mess around when this should be serious business, Dana seems rather desperate and Alex completely wastes his future ability by not actually doing anything about it. It’s clear that they are all out of their depths and completely unprepared for what is about to happen. These psychics are all about to get exposed.

Neil’s wife Megan is rather suspicious the whole time. She is easy to offend but also seems to know more than she is letting on with Neil. The film shrouds her in mystery the whole time but she still never manages to be all that interesting. She gets to spend a decent amount of time with Alex but of course she was just married so you hope there is no romance brewing. Alex just seems oblivious to all the danger throughout the movie though. Even in the dream where we see the future, he just mindlessly walks into a trap. Yes, it was a dream but it is treated as something he would have done if that was the situation. Cmon now.

Frank and Carissa are some of the worst because they know they are in imminent danger and decide now is the time for bondage play. Really? Reallllly? That’s one of the most contrived kills I’ve seen in a long time, especially as Carissa has several minutes to free Frank but panics instead. The whole scene is just soooo bad and drawn out. They were going for max edge on both of the kills here and it was all so overdone.

Then for Dana, she seemed like the weakest anyway. Aside from her only noticeable trait being that she was crazy, she just didn’t handle this very well. I’ll get into this more later on but the puppets are really weak. At least for Frank and Carissa you can make a few excuses even if they are weak ones. Well, Frank has a legit excuse, the rest are dicey. For Dana she is just flat out defeated which is crazy.

These puppets are nothing like Chucky or Talking Tina. They don’t seem to have infinite regen or teleportation. We see characters tossing them around and plucking them apart like actual toys. They look so weak (Thanks in part to the low budget) that they should have lost immediately. For example one of the puppets is like the Thing. He does the “It’s Clobbering time!” barrage of fists. His fists don’t hurt too much as different characters eat a few punches and then toss him away. The main problem as always is they don’t finish the job. Rip the puppets arms off, keep the head detached, etc. Instead they just wait as the puppet very slowly puts himself back together.

Yeah the small hits will add up eventually so just take them out. Near the end we get an extended fight scene where somebody takes on multiple puppets at once and you just can’t help but feel like he could have done a lot better. The movie never actually makes the puppets look all that scary. I mean they were scared of humans with guns in the opening scene after all. They are fighters but not particularly good ones.

I’d also say that the ending is rather rushed with the puppets doing a 180 for no reason. You’re not sure why the main villain is suddenly afraid of them or why Alex suddenly wants to help the villain. Did he think the death would be too gruesome? I just don’t see why, if Alex frees the guy then Alex will quickly be murdered. It again makes Alex look dumb as rocks here. So not only is he making all of the wrong decisions over and over again but now he’s actively going out of his way to help the villain?

The writing throughout the film is terrible but that’s par for the course. The villains aren’t very intimidating at all and the characters are really bad. The violence is extremely over the top and so the movie doesn’t really have much of anything going for it. It’s not very long at least which I can say is a good thing. That may be the only real good thing I can say about it. There was a lot of potential here but the film used none of it.

There is one good thing I can say about the film and that is that I liked the designs of some of the puppets. The one with the knife was rather scary and I also liked the one with the big fists. The sound effect every time he would punch someone was intense. Maybe a bit funnier than scary but it worked well. The puppets could hold their own in a survival setting. The movie just didn’t execute on anything around them.

Overall, The idea of a bunch of psychic people getting together to solve a mystery of their dead enemy is really interesting. You could have done a lot with that but instead they don’t actually get to interact a ton before they split up and start getting picked off. None of them have any survival instincts with how they drink a lot and get tied up. Different members felt danger and evil when they walked into the mansion, did they just forget that? They underestimated the dummies to a painful degree and I’d argue the only smart thing to do would have been to leave the house immediately. If not, at least stay together and it would be hard to be defeated. Their overconfidence got to them and I still find it hard to believe that the franchise got so many films. Maybe the sequels will be better but this was a really rough start for the franchise. It was just L after L and you want to stay very far away from this one.

Overall 2/10

Poppy Playtime Triple Pack Review

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I’m sure everybody here has heard of Poppy’s Playtime. Well, the name may not have an s in it, but that’s the way I’m used to saying it. This thing was aiming to be the next Five Nights at Freddy’s or Bendy. The horror and scares were going to be next level and now I finally get to play it as a triple pack. It’s definitely a solid title with a lot of scares the whole time. The lore may ultimately start getting a bit try hard edgy near the end but ultimately this is an experience you will not forget.

The game starts with the main character inside the ominous Poppy’s Playground. The game is in first person so we never see the main character. I suspect that he is one of the animatronics to be honest or a zombie since he might be dead but either way there are a lot of theories you can go with. I’m sure the fans who listened to every tape and 100% completed every chapter will have a better idea of this though. Either way you now have to try and get out of here but to do so you will have to find a way past these vicious monsters.

The first part mainly has you trying to escape Huggy Wuggy. Part of the fun in playing a collection like this is that you get to see the subtle gameplay shifts as you go on. This one is the simplest as you are basically walking around and interacting with objects. There are no special abilities or anything like that. You have to make sure and run fast too because one hug from this villain and it’s curtains for you. We don’t learn much about any of the characters or lore yet but this is just the beginning. For this reason the first part is the most ominous and I dare say that it is the scariest. You just don’t forget a title that has such an intense climax. Neither following part could match the sheer intensity of this one.

In the second part, we start getting a bit more technical with the puzzles. At one point you gain a new hand which helps with that. You are interacting with less random objects and now it’s more about specific puzzles. You are tested with a lot of new minigames to conquer by the Mother who is the main villain this time around. We start getting more lore here as well thanks to Poppy herself. Definitely not a character I would trust but then again I suppose I wouldn’t trust any character in this game. Being locked in a horror environment like this would just give me trust issues I have to admit.

The increase in platforming works well and in terms of pure gameplay I would say this one has the best mixture out of the 3 parts. It does well in keeping the main horror gameplay while also putting in a bit of that platformer kind of energy. The main hub world is also quite large with all the different areas to go through. The climax is also pretty intense and we have our full plot by this point. The Prototype is out there trying to murder us all.

In the third part the game goes even more ambitious as we enter full platformer territory. The puzzles are the largest yet as you run from room to room to deal with each impending threat. The hub world is also the biggest by far, the game is the most difficult as well with some really tricky segments as well. You even get a flare gun in this part which may be pushing the envelope a bit since a game is inherently less scary the instant you get a weapon. There are a lot of scares still for sure but slowly you’re more worried about the other creatures running around as they get picked off instead of being worried for yourself. There are still a lot of close calls though and I’d find myself flinching in every game. Even when you know that the monster is coming, you just can’t help but get terrified.

Each game has a really solid cliffhanger which is nice since it absolutely gets you ready for the next big adventure. I’m eager to see what happens in part 4 now and the main character does seem to get closer and closer to getting out of this place. Once he has escaped then things will really be looking up for him but it doesn’t seem like the kind of game where there will be a happy ending. Something tells me that the main character is going to be absolutely cooked here. He just needs to make sure that he doesn’t go alone and at least takes most of the monsters with him.

As with most of these big horror games the more of the lore you know, the less you want to know. I would say the best thing to do with these games is to not really explain anything. Just let me try to escape the monsters while getting some evil speeches and such. Keep it all shrouded in mystery because inevitably it involves a bunch of kids dying and gets all so tragic. At least based on how this game is going, you’re rooting for the monsters to wipe out humanity because all the people here seem super evil. At least all of the grownups I should say since they are constantly pulling off crazy experiments. No mercy or escape here.

The graphics are solid as it really feels like a horror title through and through. It’s part of what makes all of the jump scares work. Additionally the sound effects and quick musical tracks really work well to that end. They even made a whole parody of a happy intro at the start of the second chapter which was really unexpected. The game definitely has a lot of effort put into it which I appreciate. I would have liked to keep the flashlight in part 3 as sometimes it could be a little hard to see but I also get how it would make the game a little less scary.

In terms of replay value there are trophies to get and they seem quite difficult. You have to beat parts 2 and 3 in a very fast time to get the Platinum. It basically means mastering each game which takes a lot of dedication. I see that a lot of people have pulled this off based on the trophy percentages so maybe it’s not as hard as it sounds. Maybe… but I have some doubts on this. Either way at some point I’ll try to improve my rank since I have a D in two of the parts.

Overall, Poppy’s Playtime is a game you won’t want to miss. It is definitely intense and disturbing at times so you have to make sure that you’re into horror titles but as long as you are then you should be having a good time here. There is a lot of exploring to do within the game and more details that you will pick up each time. The games go fast but as a trilogy there is a good amount of content to enjoy. I’m ready for that next bundle pack at some point.

Overall 7/10

Donnie Darko Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those films where the main character is slowly going crazy but you have to determine if this is actually what’s going on or if there’s more to the situation than meets the eye. You’ve got the classic delusions and even a giant 6 foot Rabbit so this film isn’t afraid to get supernatural. Unfortunately the build up is rather large to what I would consider to be a lackluster climax and getting there is rough with the characters all being super annoying and terrible for the most part. There aren’t really many people to root for here and so that’s something sequels will need to try and fix.

The film starts off by introducing us to Donnie who has been having some mental issues for a while now. He takes pills to reduce the effects but sometimes he skips them and starts to crash out. He’s been wandering around the city at night and seeing a large rabbit man named Frank. Frank tells Donnie that the world is going to end in a few days. Donnie might even believe him but officially tells his therapist that he doesn’t think the world will end. Donnie actually has two friends and then even gets a girlfriend in Gretchen but for the most part has trouble connecting to people. Even the famous motivational speaker gets on Donnie’s nerves. Will he be able to stop the world from ending or is Fran really just a figment of his imagination?

This is one of those films where you will definitely need to stay focused because we jump from day to day. There is a timer about how many days are left until the end of the world and so sometimes there are whole weeks left and then there are just a few days in others. So you have to read through these carefully because the film isn’t always linear but the events are normal enough where you might not even notice at times. A engine fell through Donnie’s house but fortunately he wasn’t hurt but the cops are acting a bit weird about the whole thing.

Like I said before the main problem here does come from the characters though. Donnie is extremely hard to root for. He shows up with a bad attitude from the start and never really gets any better. From insulting his sister and mother to crashing out during lessons, he just isn’t a very heroic figure. During his therapy sessions he has a hard time focusing and it doesn’t seem like anything really interests him. He’s very odd the whole time and you can be odd without being a jerk but he never really chooses that option. I would have liked to have seen him resist Frank’s influence more as well.

Donnie seems easy to manipulate and always tends to choose the worst outcomes. Even through to the end I don’t think he made the right call. He basically decides to give up, at least that’s how I would frame it. He could have tried a lot of other paths but he chose the easiest one which doesn’t even guarantee a happy ending. In fact you could say that in some ways this is now the dark ending but it depends on how you interpret it. I’ll go into my interpretation near the end of the film.

For the most part I’d say the film has a generally dark tone. Everyone’s been through a lot and there is another tragedy along each corner. You’ve got Gretchen’s backstory which is naturally dark and then gets even darker with what happens in the present. You have the motivational speaker’s secret which is again super dark and so the town doesn’t seem to have a lot of hope with it. One girl is bullied a whole lot and naturally the main character doesn’t do much about it. Just about everyone is needlessly mean spirited like when a bunch of kids make fun of an old lady.

There’s quite a bit of language here and none of the characters seem like someone you would want to be friends with. Of course the characters are not responsible while the parents are away and throw a big fight as well. People are doing drugs, the romance is rushed, etc. This film definitely takes itself very seriously but this kind of grim title needs a bit more of a hook.

That’s where Frank really should come in. Lets get some more answers out of this guy and learn about the end of the world. Well, for the most part he just talks cryptically the whole time and isn’t very helpful. Sometimes he helps out like when he had Donnie burn down a house that exposed a villain. That was good but is takes him a while to get to that point. Before that Frank just seems generally demonic and it’s still hard to tell what his actual goals are. Is he just here to spread chaos? Because I could definitely believe that.

Okay now to discuss the ending. Skip these next two paragraphs if you haven’t seen the film yet. My main theory here is that there was no real time travel per say and instead we got taken to a new dimension. Throughout the film they talk about time travel by going through a ship and entering a portal to go back. Well, we get to see Donnie arrive back at the start but he chooses to stay in his room so the engine crashes through and murders him. At this point all of the characters across the film wake up, seemingly very startled. Some are panicking, sweating, etc.

It seems like they all regained their memories of the lost time here. So even though it’s the past, the events all seemed to happen. For that reason I would say that Donnie was able to open a portal through dimensions. In this way it’s like a parallel universe where everybody is around but now events are playing out a bit differently. Unfortunately because Donnie won’t be around to burn the house, that means the speaker will still be up to his criminal activities. Then again if everyone remembers, maybe they can shut him down quickly. That’s basically how I interpret the ending and so it’s a pretty sad one since Donnie gave up and just let himself get blasted. He should have gotten out of there and used his advanced knowledge to really make a difference. There are a ton of ways you can change the world when you have an early start like that. It also seems like this kind of thing has happened before with the old lady who wrote a book but Donnie should have checked in with her right away. The whole alternate universe would also tie in with the planet ending like Frank said. In this way it really did end as that universe/timeline no longer exists.

Well, there are a lot of ways to look at the ending. The film is definitely weird enough for it all. Unfortunately it’s just no weird in a good way. You absolutely could have pulled this off if the characters were better but this cast? Yeah they were definitely not even remotely ready for this. A good surreal kind of film needs to have quality characters, a really engaging plot, and of course an interesting climax. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an example of a really weird film that works after all.

Overall, Donnie Darko is held back in a lot of ways by Donnie Darko himself. He isn’t quite the lead character that you need to make a film like this succeed. Instead he just keeps the film from reaching its true potential. The rest of the characters don’t really help matters either though. Frank had potential here but the way his character goes out is pretty lame and he lost all of his aura the instant that the mask came off. There just isn’t much that is appealing about this film. I give it some props for trying to have a very unique story but it did not work.

Overall 2/10