Tag Archives: Horror

The Uninvited Review

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The-Uninvited
This film was an interesting one. It’s another blend of horror and comedy which works pretty well. Surprisingly the late middle/early ending of the film is the part that starts to drag a bit. I thought that the beginning and ending were the strongest parts of the film, but in a way..maybe that’s how it should be. Films should hook you in and reel you out, the middle is the most expendable part I suppose.

Roderick and Pamela decide to buy a house. These siblings both have a use for it although Roderick is very skeptical the whole time. He doesn’t want to break the bank on this house, but the two of them are given a good price for it. Roderick can now work on his papers from here and Pamela can enjoy the forest life. Everything is going well, but then the daughter of the previous owner lets them know that they’ve made a grave mistake. The siblings find out that the house is actually haunted and this ghost doesn’t play by the rules. It will use any means necessary to drive the heroes out and with its mild, mild, mild telepathic abilities it keeps trying to get Stella to commit suicide. Can Roderick stop this?

Let’s quickly go over the weaknesses of the film. For one, the romanc- Hold it DReager1, this romance wasn’t all that bad was it? Actually, I’m afraid that it was. While the romance was more conservative and proper than the ones I tend to bash, it still happened way too suddenly and out of the blue. It came out of nowhere and a proper romance shouldn’t evolve after a few minutes like that. It also doesn’t really add anything to the film so it was hardly necessary in the end.

As I mentioned, the middle is a little uneventful. After the heroes learn that the place is haunted, they start going around and digging up clues. Ultimately they learn things like who the ghost actually is and why it is so upset, but I can’t really say that this plot went anywhere in a hurry. It certainly took its time. Of course, dragging on a little is not a big weakness and the film is still a solid adventure. On the whole, I enjoyed the atmosphere. The characters were good and the ghost made for a good villain. The film did a good job of balancing the two genres without going overboard at any point.

Dealing with the ghost was also well played at the end. It’s a strategy that more protagonists should try out in these kind of films. The spirits and ghosts always do seem rather strong, but are they really? Or are the humans making them that way. That’s the question that you’ve always got to ask yourself before tackling them in combat. This ghost was admittedly one of the weaker ones that I’ve seen though. It was good as wailing/laughing/crying during the night though and even unnerved Roderick quite a bit. I don’t think it would fare too well in an actual fight though.

From all of the characters, I have to say that Stella was probably the most annoying. Mainly because of her low will power as she nearly died twice. She should be able to resist the ghost’s calls a little better if you ask me. Not to mention that she was fairly unreasonable about the whole thing. Her plan to just hang out with everyone wasn’t terrible I suppose and you’d think that everyone would be home in the dead of night, but it wasn’t to be. At least it gave the fortune teller/rich lady a role. For a while there, I wasn’t sure where the film was going with her character arc. She almost seemed like filler for a bit.

Before I wrap up the review, I definitely have to disagree with anyone who finds this movie scary though. The movie is many things, but scary isn’t one of them. Making the top 11 scariest films of all time from one list is rather surprising. With all of the comedy undertones and good one liners from the main characters, I don’t see how it can really scare you that much. Ah well, different things scare different people. Back before I watched dozens of horror films and became immune to being scared, I did get the chills from a horror movie aimed at kids so everyone has to start off somewhere. This is the kind of film that probably wouldn’t do well as a remake so it should probably stay in our memories. It already has the honor of being one of the better horror films out there after all. That’s good enough for it!

Overall, The Invited is a charming relic from the past. There isn’t a whole lot to say about it though because the cast is small and the film gets to the point right away. It’s fun, but aside from briefly talking about the ghost and the characters, there’s nothing more to elaborate on. I may as well not drag this review out so let’s finish this one up. The Uninvited doesn’t particularly excel at anything, but it captures the charm and fun that an old horror/comedy film like this one can bring to the table. It’s not all that long so even if it has some mild pacing problems, it finishes rather quickly. The characters are all likable for the most part and this film doesn’t make a lot of big mistakes. It may not be remembered as the years go by, but at the very least, I will always remember the cool ending.

Overall 7/10

The Car Review

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It’s time for an old horror film, but unfortunately this one is quite bad. It decides to add in some dark themes and extra grit for no real reason and most of the subplots have no place being in the movie at all. The Car itself also makes some very odd choices during the movie like sparing the main character for no real reason. Somehow this film is listed as PG as well. I suppose this was before PG-13, but if you had to choose, you may as well go all the way with this film’s rating. Brace yourselves!

The film starts out with a car murdering three people. One of those is run over several times as the car vents out its frustrations. An abusive man notices this and calls in the cops. We’re barely 10 minutes into the film and it already doomed itself. Why does this guy have to be abusive? It doesn’t contribute to the plot in the slightest. The worst part about this is that the characters in the film never do anything about this. They all know that he is committing these acts, but they don’t do anything about it. Moreover, they actually ask him for help and he gets to stand in the sunset with the other characters at the end. The film glorifying this guy for even a second is loony and this was a negative that I simply couldn’t forget. He took away any fun that could have been in this film.

When the cops are called in to stop the car they quickly find out that they are outmatched. Their road blocks don’t work and this car is able to break into houses and assassinate people that way. Nobody is safe anymore! Unfortunately, the film still cannot focus on this plot and it’s plagued by an array of other issues. We have one cop who ends up reverting back to his old drinking habits. This causes him to forget about warning the town’s inhabitants and results in more people dying. One cop decides to go for a “Miller Time” moment (Drinking beer) but gets run over by The Car as a result. Even the students are fairly cheap as one of them draws inappropriate pictures of the teacher as a past time. Again…what does this do to advance the plot? Nothing, but the teacher approves this action just to remind us that she’s rather odd as well. Why can’t we have any likable characters in this film?

The writing’s pretty bad as well. The characters are all unlikable tanks to this and we have some language issues as well with the characters swearing when the going gets tough. Most of the characters aren’t all that smart either. For example, one of the cops decides to corner the evil car on a cliff and then watches for about 5 minutes at the villain slowly starts to push him to the curb and then off the mountain. Backing up would have done him wonders or at least jumping out. No, he had to just wait and accept his fate.

As this is a classic horror film there is a twist ending so you’ll want to stick around. It’s more or less what you’d expect and the scene would probably have more impact if it had gone a little further. Maybe showing something/someone at the police station and then an iconic sound as it all went black. That being said, maybe the producers and directors were counting on a sequel at some point. I don’t see that happening anytime soon and that’s a good thing.

There’s only one real positive about the film and that’s the fact that it has a good soundtrack. It has a lot of mysterious themes and fitting villain themes for The Car. I also like the sounds that The Car makes and the fact that it has some mild wind manipulation abilities. Add to that the fact that it is bullet proof and you’ve got yourself a powerful vehicle. Maybe the strongest sentient car that we’ve ever seen! Speaking of the Car, naturally you’re supposed to make your theories on what exactly it is. It seems like it’s a demon if you ask me. It probably found a car and possessed it, augmenting its physical abilities or it transformed itself into a car for the lolz. Needless to say, it is definitely a villain so there’s no plot twist about it actually being a hero or something like that.

This Car definitely doesn’t hold back though and it aims to eliminate everyone eventually. It also likes to mess with its victims a little before doing anything as well. Like when it decides to scare the main character a lot before doing anything and even sparing the guy. That being said, that scene was where I had to draw the line. There was no logical reason to spare the main character. Especially when the car had not spared anyone else up until that point. It was just out of character and the only explanation is that the guy survived purely because he was the main character. Just another example of bad writing although I like the fact that he got knocked out just because the door opened and the light was really bright. That’s a pretty bad defense feat.

At least the horses all seem to have escaped the car so that’s good. A lot of the humans didn’t quite make it, but that’s the nature of a horror film or a “slasher” in the sense that the villain started picking them all off one by one. The only reasonable character here was probably the person who kept taking the calls. She even let the main guy know that his translator actually betrayed him and only told part of the story. The other guys were either sketchy, had unfortunate subplots, or didn’t do anything. Even the main character wasn’t that good as his whole first scene was just incredibly wince-worthy and the fact that he is seeing the heroine in secret to an extent is suspect as well. He certainly got over his wife rather quickly, showing off once again how fake a lot of these romances are. The film didn’t have a whole lot of that which is definitely good though. I doubt it would have been handled well here at all.

If there’s anything you can learn from this film by the end, it’s not to let your guard down. More than once the evil Car would simply stop. The human would lower his gun as well and then the Car would start up again and take him down. If you’re on the hunt for a dangerous vehicle, you shouldn’t care if it stops. Just quickly blast it and keep on moving. Of course, the car was ultimately bullet proof so it didn’t matter, but it’s good to at least try. The village didn’t handle the situation all that well, but with a little plot hax I suppose that they almost did all right. We even got to see the car’s true form thanks to all of the fire!

Overall, The Car is definitely a pretty underwhelming horror movie and just makes for a really bad experience. It’s short so at least the pacing isn’t a huge concern, but it’s not all that good either. Some scenes do go on for quite a while like when the heroes were cornered at the cemetery. I was never bored, but there were many times where I couldn’t wait for it to be over. If they cut out the abuse subplot, the film would have instantly been quite a lot better. It could have at least grabbed a 4 I’d say. Maybe it’s a sign that even the writers didn’t think this plot could stand on its own which is why they added the many subplots. Definitely a bad move on their part all the same though. You definitely shouldn’t watch this film and I’d advise you to check out Superman vs The Mole Men instead. It makes for a more enriching experience.

Overall 1/10

The Little Shop of Horrors Review

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Remember the Bucket of Blood? Well this film’s very similar since it is made from the same guy with just about all of the same actors and a verrrrry similar plot. It is a little better since there is no animal violence but it’s still a pretty bad film. At least this way you can say that the film lived up to its name though right? There were definitely a lot of horrors to be found here to say the least. Who knows, maybe the remake is better…maybe. Well, let’s jump on in!

Seymour is a demented murderer who never really had the courage to do anything too drastic. That changes when he grows a man eating plant and ends up feeding it a body to cover up his murder. Seymour then starts going around murdering people until he finally decides to stop. It’s too late though since the plant has leveled up and now it knows how to mind control people. Seymour’s certainly in a sticky situation now, but at least he is getting rich!

There are two detectives looking into the murders, but it is tough going since the movie takes place in a rough neighborhood where people die just about every other second. Still, they’re doing their best. One guy even lost his son, but just reminded everyone that those are the brakes when you live in the area. Everyone solemnly agrees. The shop owner knows that Seymour is destroying people, but he doesn’t want to say anything because of all the money that he is earning. See the similarities between the two films yet?

What helps Seymour realize that destroying people is wrong is getting friend zoned by the main heroine yet again. Unfortunately it is just too late at that point and will power was never Seymour’s strong suit. Once the jig is up we get a very similar chase scene to the last film and Seymour decides to destroy himself, but this time he’ll also take the plant with him. Once again the ending tries to have some humor as Seymour gets one last line of vengeance. Yeah…it’s an interesting line at the very least.

One advantage that this film has over the Bucket of Blood is the fact that the plant makes for a decently cool antagonist here. I like the fact that he’s always yelling for more food. It makes him a bit more realistic and likable even if he is very unreasonable. Having basic telepathy was also very impressive. The heroes should have tried a little harder to stop him, but I suppose that they realized how outgunned they were. After all, the plant was able to take down a robber at one point without any real effort. The guy even had a gun, but I guess he didn’t suspect that the plant could be alive. Who would right?

The best character in the film is easily the guy who likes to eat flowers. He comes out of nowhere and is another really insane character to add to the rest of the cast. The film really wanted to make everyone as insane as possible, but this guy’s gimmick actually worked really well. Whenever he’d eat a flower you couldn’t help but grin at how crazy the whole thing was. I also liked the way that he confidently walked into the store and basically acted like he owned the place. He didn’t even buy the flowers he just went in and started eating them. Now that’s what I call an unexpected action!

Meanwhile, we also had a crazy dentist guy who is psychotic and likes to make people feel pain as he drills through their mouth. No worries, Seymour destroyed him, but then he meets a pain addict and decides to pretend that he is the dentist and messes with the guy for a while. It’s a very odd scene that comes out of nowhere and it reminds you that there are no sane people in this town. No wonder everyone ends up dying every day over in that place. It must be due to only having one flower shop in the whole town. Hoe can anyone enjoy the nice fragrances that way?

Parts of the film can sound humorous as a result of how crazy this whole situation is, but in the end it tends to be more wince worthy than anything else. The film’s fairly short, but at the same time it feels like you’ve already seen it all. All of the characters are really unlikable and annoying aside from the flower eater. I suppose that Seymour’s boss isn’t all that boss though. He’s the main comic relief of the film and does a pretty good job in the role. He may be corrupt, but he gets the most one liners in the film. He consistently makes sure to hint that Seymour may not be what he seems even if nobody ever picks up on his hints. At least halfheartedly trying to Seymour is better than nothing I suppose. Seymour’s definitely lucky that he ended up being in this town with the plant. With the death count being so high, it makes it a lot easier to raise the plant in secret.

I didn’t really talk about the negatives all that much since I basically covered them in the Bucket film, but this is a separate review so I should go into it at least a little. The main problem here is naturally Seymour. He’s a terrible main character and is someone that you cannot root for. The movie tries to present him as someone who is very reluctantly murdering everyone, but I can’t buy into that. He knows what he is doing the whole time and could choose not to do so. He’s simply trying to justify the whole thing to himself and isn’t doing a great job of it. It can be pretty sad to see everyone getting murdered by the plant as well with all of the sad slurping sounds. Even a poor drunk guy isn’t spared as he steps in front of train tracks and Seymour was in the area. The problem with this film is that it just isn’t all that fun half the time and the fact that none of the main characters are likable just ends up hurting it a lot. I do appreciate the friend zone card though.

Overall, The Little Shop of Horrors is certainly an improvement over the Bucket of Blood, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a huge one. It is still a bad film, but at least the humor was a little better in this film. It is interesting how all of the characters were so reused here though. This film almost feels like an AU or remake of Bucket of Blood, but just with a slightly different plot. Regardless at least we got a talking plant who happens to be evil. I’m sure that a lot of people weren’t expecting that plot to make it to the big screen. If that’s your cup of tea and you want a lot of insane characters then go for it. If you want a cooler film, then go watch Batman V Superman. Now that one brings the hype!

Overall 3/10

A Bucket of Blood Review

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It’s time to take a look at one of the worst films that I have ever seen. It ranks up there with Sucker Punch and Amityville Horror. This film is so horrendously bad that you will be staring at your watch through most of it and the film feels like it is 3 hours. There’s not a single redeemable part of the film and it just keeps going from bad to worse. Of course, the title was a fairly obvious indicator that this film was going to be terrible, but I don’t think anyone suspected just how terrible it would be.

The main character is named Walter and he’s a psychotic mass murderer who works as a waiter for a small restaurant. One day he sees a cat and realizes that he can finally realize his ambitions and destroys it, turning it into a statue. That’s his favorite hobby after all and slowly but surely he starts to murder other people and turns them all into statues. Nobody can tell that there is a human body of rotting flesh inside of the clay though so their noses must all be stuffed from the super large amounts of smoke inside of the cafe. The shop owner knows that Walter is going around murdering everyone, but he also knows that each murder increases his profits tremendously so he turns the other way. Can he afford to do that forever or will he have to make a move?

The police also send an agent into the restaurant to stop the ongoing drug problem there. Everyone is always high in this establishment so it is tricky to find out who is actually dealing the goods. Especially when everyone has a hand in it. The detective decides that it’s just too much trouble and decides to attack Walter. Walter destroys him of course since police training is no match for a very scrawny fellow with a frying pan. The cops never find out what happened to the detective and barely seem to care as they are written out of the film completely.

Walter has a lot of friends to stick up for him as well. The shop owner’s daughter loves the paintings and encourages Walter to get more by any means necessary. There are a few drunk guys who are always yelling nonsense about acorns and reality who love Walter’s paintings as well. They think that he is a visionary and while they don’t like money, they like what you can buy with money. More beers for everyone! If only they knew the truth about Walter! Well, in the climax we get a chase scene as Walter tries to destroy the main heroine when she rejects him and places the friend zone card. Walter outruns everyone for quite a while and proves that he’s used to fleeing the scene. Eventually he destroys himself since the stress was too much for him. The drunk guy even makes a pun about this and the film ends on that chipper note.

“Is It Over!” I found myself thinking as I fled the scene as well. This film was just so preposterously bad that it was a thrill so see it all over. The film tries to be funny by having as many extreme and unrealistic characters as possible, but the end result is actually that everyone simply comes off as being unlikable instead. Also, I’ll never be fine with the idea of a mass murderer being the main character. The whole point of a main character is that he or she should be a likable protagonist. Someone that you can root for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the main character has to be a hero, but if he is a villain like in this case, then it better be something comically mild like theft or it’s about the villain becoming a hero. A full fledged villain with no morals as the main character? That’s really not going to bode well for the film in the long run.

The film may even be more cringe worthy than Sucker Punch if you ask me although it’s tough. Sucker Punch is more depressing, but it also doesn’t have any animal violence and it has action scenes. A Bucket of Blood is just tough to watch since it’s so terrible and wince worthy, but it’s not nearly as repulsive as Sucker Punch. It’s definitely a tough fight and at least I can guarantee that I’ll never see this film again. I’d highly recommend taking a pass on it if I were you readers as well.

Overall, A Bucket of Blood is even worse than the title would suggest. All of the characters are nonsensical, unlikable, and corrupt characters. There is nobody to root for, there is animal violence, and the pacing is horrible. There is no soundtrack and the film’s effects are terrible as well. If you want to watch an old film with a lot of class, check out Superman vs The Mole Man. It fixes just about all of the problems that I had with this film and then some. It’s the kind of film where you’ll walk away with a grin instead of a groan.

Overall 0/10

The Forest Review

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Looks like it is time for another horror film. They have a fairly bad track record and I’d say that it may actually be even worse than the romance film’s rep. That being said, I’ve seen many more horror movies than romance titles so it’s not really a fair fight. This one came out in in 2016 so it’s actually fairly modern. It’s not a good film regardless, but at the very least I can say that the first half of the film is actually better than around 90% of the horror films that I’ve seen. It goes downhill from there though. I don’t really bother with the spoilers moniker unless the film is new, but this one is 2016 so I’ll say it now…there are spoilers ahead!

Sara was trying to enjoy an ordinary day when her twin sense started tingling. She finds out that her twin sister has vanished inside of the Suicide Forest. Her husband tells her not to be dramatic, but she knows that her sister is currently still alive since her twin sense lets her know if she is alive or not. Sara must hurry since nobody can survive in the forest for long. After all, there are many demons lurking among the trees and they will pounce on anyone with a little sadness in their hearts. Sara knows the stakes so she heads to Japan and enters the forest…but not before getting a drink! She enjoys a good beer and meets a guy named Aiden. He claims to be a reporter and doesn’t mind having her tag along as he goes through the forest the next day. The catch is that he will be recording what she says as they go through. It’s a price that Sara is willing to pay. (For a little while) With the backup at the ready, Sara steps into the forest.

The film is short, but still takes its time getting to the ghosts and jump scares. The first 40 minutes or more is just Sara walking around Japan and learning about the forest from supporting characters. She goes to sketchy morgues and talks to suspicious teenagers along the way. It may not be the most engaging group of scenes, but there are none of the usual negatives from a horror movie like animal violence or violent sob stories involving the main character or a house. Unfortunately, things start to go seriously downhill once Sara finally gets into the forest. Sure enough, all of the usual horror tropes quickly start to appear.

For starters, the simple car crash quickly turns into a domestic accident. There’s no shock value here since this twist has been used to death and just reminds you that this film has no originality in the slightest. I wish that the car crash could have stuck. Then Sara also begins to let the demons overwhelm her towards the middle of the film and ends up murdering an innocent person and herself as well. When Sara was trying to cut someone’s hand off of her, she actually ended up cutting her arm instead. Either her eyes were not working properly or the spirits subtlely moved reality around with an illusion to make her arm look farther away than it actually was. It’s still a stretch of the imagination though and I’m not sure that I buy it. The spirits were also nice and overpowered since they could create illusions on the phone as well which made things tricky.

I don’t think Sara necessarily made the wrong choice all of the time, but she definitely did in the first place. If you meet someone in a bar who immediately tries to hit on you…you probably shouldn’t take this sketchy character to the middle of a dark forest to be alone for a full night. I definitely wouldn’t trust anyone like that and then she starts to doubt him a whole lot. That’s fine, but then try to run til you see a path and get out of the forest. Sara isn’t concentrating all that well and ends up falling in a ditch. Good thing that the villains in this film are so slow right?

As per horror film rules, there is a quick twist towards the end. It makes sense and you’ll feel bad for the nice supporting character, but he probably should have ran in the car with the police when he had the chance. I don’t think he’ll be able to win against a full fledged demon so it’s game over for him. Seriously, it wouldn’t be a horror film without an end twist and I’d say that it is practically a requirement at this point. There are a few other “jump” scares during the film like an old man laughing through a mirror and an old lady who tries to choke Sara. I don’t see anyone jumping during these moments unless you’re just sensitive to noise so the sound automatically makes you move a bit.

Still, many of the dicey situations could have been avoided in the film if Sara had any common sense. When she was camping in the middle of the night, she was supposed to not move from that spot. Instead she runs into the forest where the demons start to feed her their misinformation. Yes, keep on believing the sketchy characters who show up out of nowhere and are constantly grinning. They can’t possibly be lying to your face right? Even demons have standards of what they can and can’t do….no, that’s probably just a rumor. Also, it doesn’t help that Sara can’t really fight for beans so she can talk tough to Alain, but then what? Alain got a rough situation for this film, but that’s probably why you shouldn’t get too close to someone in a bar when both of you are super drunk. Sara letting herself get drunk on the very first day of investigating probably isn’t a very good idea either.

One plot angle that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense is the fact that Jess is actually still alive after a few days. Unless she has absolutely no sadness in her and just went into the forest for the lolz, then the demons should have grabbed her by now. Being absolutely alone…for days in a forest where everyone wants to eat you is a bit of a stretch. You can say that the demons kept her alive so Sara could show up, but then why didn’t they quickly finish her off at that point? They had plenty of time to take them all down so that no survivors would make it through. They are slow though since they couldn’t catch someone who had a broken arm and a badly injured leg so maybe they were still talking along the path.

Overall, The Forest isn’t a great horror movie and it’s not a good one either. I’d call it a sub par film in the end. From the score you can still see that it beats a whole lot of other horror films, but that’s what happens when you can successfully stay away from animal violence and for the most part the film wasn’t even all that grotesque. The demons purposefully look ugly of course, but they’re not over the top like usual. The domestic plot twist was horrid, but at least its screen time was fairly small. If you like horror films then you probably won’t like this film and if you don’t like horror films then you won’t like it either so it will be very hard for this title to appeal to any crowd. Maybe The Woods, or The Mountains can have a better time of it someday.

Overall 4/10

Godzilla in Hell Review

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This comic review is a pretty big landmark for me because it is the first Godzilla comic book that I have ever read. That is probably a little surprising to hear since I’m such a big Godzilla fan, but my library simply doesn’t order the comics very often. I’m a comic reader, but not necessarily a collector. It’s the opposite with video games. When I saw that the library had picked this trade paperback up, I grabbed it instantly. I heard that this comic was quite different from the average Godzilla adventure and that is certainly true, but I suppose that it’s as good a way to enter the Godzilla comic part of the franchise as any other. It is a good comic although I feel like it could have gone a lot farther with this ambitious concept.

On the back of the book they have a quote from legendary comic reviewer Daniel Alvarez of Unleash The Fanboy about how this is the most unique Godzilla tale of them all. It is a little…sketchy how they completely took the quote out of context although I certainly agree with it and would argue that the reviewer would as well. This is the most unique Godzilla tale of them all and there will likely never be another one quite like it. That doesn’t mean that it is the best Godzilla tale of all time. Certainly not, but it’s a good one and that’s why I feel this mini series should have ran for a little longer. Another 5-6 issues would have given it time to really explore Godzilla’s time in hell. Who knows, if this sells well enough then maybe we will get a sequel.

As the title outright states, this series is about Godzilla being in Hell. (Or is he really there?) It works as a bit of an anthology as each issue has a different team behind it and Godzilla faces a new threat each time. The stories are still held together by the loose plot of Godzilla trying to get out and most anthologies have some kind of string holding the plot together, but for all intents and purposes, the comics are all separate. As such, I’ll review this in the style of an anthology with a paragraph for each individual issue rather than talking about it as a whole until the end.

The first issue sees Godzilla literally fall into Hell where he fights off a Dark version of himself who turns into a very deformed version of Biollante and threatens to eat him whole. Godzilla fends off his attack and makes his way into the next layer of Hell. It is a solid start to the collection and I dare say that it is the most compelling issue of the bunch. It doesn’t have as much action as some of the issues coming up, but it handled the concept better than the others. The big sign saying to abandon hope is something that you would expect to find in Hell, at least conceptually. Once you are in Hell, there is no hope at all. Simply put, the race is over and you made the wrong choice. Of course, Godzilla is not dead yet so he is not truly out of time. Plus, let’s face it, Godzilla doesn’t feel fear. The art for this issue was solid. It did a good job of showing the facial expressions for Godzilla and the fight was well done. This is really what a comic version of Godzilla should strive to look like and I definitely liked the design of the made up villain.

Following that strong start was the worst comic in the collection. The series tried to go for a live action look and it didn’t work. As far as I’m concerned, if DC’s Kingdom Come event couldn’t pull it off, nothing ever will. The fight scenes are very choppy and it’s a shame since this issue could have had the most action. This level of hell has demons transform into lookalikes from Godzilla’s past. Fake Rodan, Anguirus, Varan, and Ghidorah all attack the hero. Godzilla fends them all off and it should have been a really good issue. The art just takes you out of the adventure. I do like the use of the word bubbles here as they add more context and hint at what is actually going on here. Godzilla passes this trial with flying colors as he proves that he is more than a match for any demon. Of course, the trials will get stronger from here.

The third issue was the most colorful and went for more of a cartoony feel than the other two. This made for a great fight between Godzilla and Space Godzilla, but the facial expressions could be a little odd at times. It was uncharacteristic for Godzilla, but the fight scenes were worth it. Space Godzilla is definitely a worthy opponent for the King of the Monsters. This was also the strangest issue in the collection. So, this trial is essentially that Godzilla must defeat Space Godzilla without resorting to the temptations from both sides. Half of Hell wants him to become their god and rule while the others want him to work for Hell. You are led to believe at first that half of them worship God and want Godzilla to join, but they quickly switch to believers of Godzilla and also don’t seem trust worthy. Regardless, Godzilla eats them all and crushes the rest, but neither side seemed to have a clue as to what they were doing.

They were yelling about submitting to peace the entire time. Godzilla just kept on blasting them which is probably a safe bet. Why would angels be in Hell anyway unless they were fallen ones? I guess some Earthlings tried to come here as well since we saw that Moguera was toasted. It was an odd comic, but it also helps support the argument that this is all real and not simply a dream the most in my opinion. I don’t have a lot of concrete arguments to support that, but this issue felt like it could be real. More on that at the end.

Issue 4 also had some pretty nice art. It was a little more realistic, but still pretty vibrant which is good because the whole issue is a big fight with King Ghidorah and Destoroyah. Godzilla has to use his wits to defeat these two since their combined might is far greater than his. It is cool to see him actually using strategy like dividing the opponents and taking them out on at a time. He loses though and the second half of the issue sees him die over and over again. The problem is that since he is in Hell, he cannot die for good. He has been cursed with immortality and it is a somber thought. At the end he breaks out of this part of hell and makes his way to the final challenges. This was my favorite story. As a big action fan, it was fun to see some fights here and Godzilla being portrayed as more than a mindless monster is always good.

Finally, the collection ended with Godzilla facing off against the elements and the actual demons from Hell. In their true forms, they were finally playing for keeps here. Unfortunately, they got a little too overconfident and after destroying Godzilla, they reanimated him with fire, which was enough to jump start his body and allow him to regenerate. They should have quit while they were ahead. It ends with Godzilla rising out of the water and you have to ask, did this all really happen or was it in his head? The answer will come in a moment. Meanwhile, the art here was not as good as the last few issues. The final shot with Godzilla rising it great and it’s better than the live action issue, but it is too gray-scale for me. Comics don’t always have to be vibrant, but it just didn’t look that good and everything was just too faded. Still a good issue, but it’s always sad to see Godzilla lose due to sheer numbers. It is part of why I don’t like the Megaguirus film.

In the end, my answer is that this was all a dream. The final issue does state that winning against yourself is greater than a thousand victories. It said that such a win can never be taken away and those lines of dialogue really support the fact that this was in Godzilla’s head. It is still a little iffy as Godzilla is not the type to ever doubt himself and I don’t think he would need to conquer his inner demons. Still, I suppose that even Kaiju have things that they need to think about so it is not totally unreasonable to believe that Godzilla has to come to terms with himself now and again. I’ve never been all that opposed to reading a series that ended with the plot twist of it all being a dream so it is not all that bad. It is open to interpretation so feel free to choose another theory to follow, but this is definitely the one that I follow.

Overall, I think this series definitely could have benefited from being longer. Of course, it could have had the opposite effect as it really depends on an issue to issue basis. If the writers started to run out of ideas, then it is always best to quit while you are ahead. I definitely recommend this to any Godzilla fan. The concept is simply too priceless to pass up. I think the average comic reader should be able to enjoy it as well. There is very little dialogue here so it is more of a visual experience than anything else. That’s something that everyone can ultimately appreciate in a comic as long as there is some kind of interesting plot/good characters to go alongside it. I’ve finally entered the world of Godzilla comics, hopefully I am able to read another one someday!

Overall 7/10

Extraordinary Tales Review

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It’s time to take a look at an anthology based on stories from the famous Poe. Unfortunately, I was never a big fan of this format as it really limits what you can tell in a story. There’s also the issue of the animation in this film being quite dreadful. It would have looked underwhelming 20 years ago so there’s no excuse for it. I’ll break this film down story by story.

The film started off with my favorite tale which is always an interesting tactic. Typically you want to end on a high note instead, but you can draw in the viewer this way I suppose. There were two pals who hung out together for a while, but eventually they drifted apart. Years later, they had a get together, but the friend bad changed. He could not be near sunlight anymore because of his being in the dark for so long. Making matters worse is the fact that the house seems haunted and a dead person frequents the halls. A single contact with this dead being would mean instant death.

It is a decently fun story. As I mentioned already, I thought that it was the best one on the whole batch. The sudden tackle at the end was pure hype and it was almost like a fight scene. It was a horror ending done right if I do say so myself. The main character got his happy ending but lives with the knowledge of these events so its not a total win win, but not a full loss for him either.

Another story decided to go with PS2 graphics as the CGI went full blast. A guy is thrown into an elaborate series of death traps and he has to try and survive. Are these trials real or is he just having delusions at the moment? I’m inclined to say that most of it is real at any rate. The animation was a step up from some of the other segments, but it is still very past its time. I’ve seen better animation on Cartoon Network. The segment wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t say that it was all that good either. It starts to drag on a bit after a while and I think some dialogue would have been very welcome here. Of course, the film is mostly a silent one anyway but dialogue, if written well, can really help at times.

Another segment saw a crazed man decide to destroy his teacher. The guy’s heartbeat annoyed him, which is why he decided to make the kill. It was a unique excuse I suppose, but it didn’t do the guy any favors. I was glad that the cops were pretty sharp this time though. They weren’t messing around ultimately outwitted the guy. It was too bad for the helpless old man though and at least he had a cool Eagle Eye. Actually, I think that was the excuse used by the murderer now that I think about it. Next time he’ll know better than to mess with the proper authorities.

Let’s head on to the next story. One guy decided to make a deal with a shady doctor about his life. When the guy was about to die, he would allow the other man to hypnotize him so see if it was possible to cheat death. Essentially, the dying man was hypnotized into waking up even after he was dead and it worked to a slight extent as it did prolong his life, but not for very long and the guy essentially blew up anyway. This segment was mostly just a little grotesque with the imagery and I’m sure that we all saw the ending coming. Man can never overcome death with whatever sciences are developed. You may as well try bringing a bucket to stop a flood. Next to the last segment, this was probably my least favorite one.

The final story was easily the worst one and the segment where the movie jumps the shark. It was about the seven deadly sins and how they overpowered the few human survivors. They were ready to die due to a powerful plague so they figured that they may as well lose their morals on the way to their death. Unfortunately, as this is an indie film, it has no qualms exploiting its poor animation as an excuse to show some nudity. If the animation was actually good, I doubt it would have been able to get away with such a tactic. Either way, as with Soul Eater and Skip Beat, it doomed the score and sent it into the cruncher. Without that, I’m sure that the film could have maybe managed a 3 or so, but this was the final nail on the coffin so to speak. There’s no meed to go all the way in the segment just to prove a point. I made a similar comment on the train scene in Madoka Magica a while back. Ah well, game over I suppose.

Aside from the stories, we also had a talk with a Raven and a statue who was the living embodiment of death. They talked about death a lot and the statue kept reminding the Raven that he was already dead so she had won the battle. He couldn’t really deny this and tried to distract her with red herrings and just dodging the point in general, but he ultimately could not stop her. This part was pretty interesting and while it would probably drag out for some if it lasted the whole 70 minutes, I think that would have been the more interesting film. Philosophical discussions on death are always pretty interesting to me. It could really be discussions on just about anything and it’ll typically be interesting since I get to write out my response to it or if it’s a super easy discussion, then I just say a yay or a nay.

Overall, it’s easy to see why this film is not all that popular. It’s very new and yet there doesn’t even seem to be a Wikipedia page on it. At the very least, the page doesn’t pop up right away on Google Search. One of the main problems is certainly the terrible animation. If the film had proper animation, it may have decided not to take as many risks and could have focused on telling some good stories. As it was, I wouldn’t consider any of the stories to be all that good aside from the first one. They could also tone down the violence somewhat and would need too if it had good animation since one segment had people being chopped, thrown away, and of course one guy was all but exploding in another scene. If you’re looking for your horror fix, then I suggest that you look elsewhere. Check out Scooby Doo Zombie Island instead.

Overall 0/10

Lego Scooby Doo Knight Time Terror Review

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It’s time to take a look at a Lego Scooby Doo film. Legos aren’t my favorite animation style to say the least, but they beat the puppets so I’ll take it I suppose. The special did feel incredibly short so that’s a good thing since it would have still dragged on a little if the plot had been boring. It’s a standard mini Scooby Doo adventure so the mystery’s fun and I still like the main cast. They get the job done and don’t pull their punches. That’s what I like to see from the heroes.

They head to a mansion where there is supposedly some treasure that’s been hidden. Unfortunately, the Mystery Gang may not be able to make it there alive since there is a mysterious Knight that haunts the castle. He has an axe and isn’t afraid to use it so one good hit would mean curtains for Fred and the gang. They’ll have to get to the bottom of this before something dicey happens!

The Knight was pretty hype. He actually had a lethal weapon and he had a good chase scene so I’ll give the villain a thumbs up. In a Scooby Doo film, you always want a villain who’s hardcore, but still has enough character to pull off the comedy moments. For the rest of the gang, they’re about the same as usual. Fred’s still the best member as he takes charge and never backs down from a good mystery. The gang wouldn’t have even heard about the treasure if not for good ole Fred. Daphne doesn’t really get a role this time as she mostly stays on the sidelines and allows Scooby and Shaggy to do the hard work.

They’re classic as per usual. Since Legos still don’t have enough parts to actually eat food, it wasn’t surprising to see that the heroes did’t get to eat this time. I’m sure that they could have bluffed it with some cut aways and shifty camera angles though. Shaggy did try his best to stop the Knight, but it proved to all be for naught. The villain was simply too strong this time. I do wish that Shaggy and Scooby would fight a little more, but I suppose that such a big change might be too much for the fanbase. The status quo would never be the same after that.

Unfortunately, Velma once again reminds me why she is the worst member of the group. She falls for yet another guy in this special and the romance is handled poorly as expected. It’s crammed in for no real reason and just serves to bring the whole thing down. Luckily, the subplot isn’t on screen for very long since the actual special isn’t that long either. We can’t forget about the suspects either although I didn’t bother trying to guess who it was this time. I privately figured that it was the nice assistant, but turns out that I wasn’t right on the money this time.

The first suspect is the owner of the house. Maybe he wants to collect on the insurance by scaring everyone away. There’s also the two guys in the monster costumes. Maybe they finally cracked and have decided to take things too far. Finally, there’s the nice assistant, but you can rule her out from this equation. Choose wisely since your bragging rights are on the line this time. There’s not really anything to say about the soundtrack of the animation. It’s legos so you know how it looks and the soundtrack is basically nonexistent this time. It works well enough, which will have to do. It’s not a bad soundtrack by any means.

Overall, Knight Time Terror is a good Scooby Doo special. Lego has really gotten popular over the last few years. I think Scooby Doo probably waited a little too long to jump on the bandwagon, but Lego’s still got a lot of products coming out so it’s not toooo late I suppose. If you like the Scooby Doo films then you’ll like this one. If you don’t, then this won’t change your mind either. At the very least, just remember that this is only around 20 minutes, if not shorter. It’ll be over in the blink of an eye and the plot never drags on so you don’t need to worry about that. Prepare yourself for the mystery!

Overall 7/10

ScoobyDoo and the Beach Beastie Review

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It’s time to review the final special from the 4 Scooby Doo specials marathon. This special sees the group head to the Beach for some much needed RnR, but things don’t turn out that smoothly because a Water Dragon has begun to attack them all. Saddle up guys because we’re in for one epic show! The gang’s really going to have to bring their A game this time…not that they usually don’t of course!

See, Fred was traumatized because nets are and always will be his life. That’s the real reason why the group needed the RnR in the first place, but they took Fred to a net hotel, which may not have been their best move. That’s when the Water Dragon shows up and wrecks the place, which leads to our usual array of suspects. We’ve got the shady hotel owner who admits that he is a little crazy and he certainly has the motive. An accident of this scale could get him quite a lot of insurance money. We’ve got the owner of a dog who has ensnared Scooby Doo with her chibi charm. Perhaps this is just a tactic to get the heroes to lower their guards so that she can steal the place. There’s also the owner of a rival company which is getting some water exhibits soon…one of them uses solidified water. Hmmmmm. There’s also the dog owner’s husband who lately has no time for her and the dog, which has made them all tense. So many suspects and so little time!

As always, the special is around 20 minutes give or take so the pacing is solid. The animation is solid and the soundtrack is nonexistent, etc, etc. I may as well not repeat myself from the last 3 specials right? The water dino is pretty hype since it busts into the Hotel and is actually there. No smoke and mirrors this time folks, since we have solidified water, this dino/dragon is actually a very real threat. There’s definitely quite a bit of plot hax about the design once we find out the twist though. Are we expected to believe that nobody noticed a person in the center of the dragon? I don’t think so!

Unfortunately, this film was bogged down by a really annoying subplot involving good ole Scooby. As mentioned earlier, he takes a fancy to another dog and then decides to stop being pals with Shaggy as he even gives away his Scooby Snacks. If the other dog had any personality and if she could talk, then maybe (I doubt it) this plot would be more bearable, but as this dog seems rather generic and forced into the plot, it just comes off as unnecessary. Luckily Shaggy drags Scooby back to reality by the end, but trust me when I say that this was a pretty rough side plot.

Another iffy scene is when Velma grabs the owner’s priceless necklace and then uses it as bait for the monster without any actual plan. Granted, we find out that the necklace was a fake, but the owner didn’t know that and there would be no way to prove it if Velma had actually lost this prize. That would have been quite the blow to the team’s public relations image and that’s why you should solve cases without putting innocent items in the line of fire.

Naturally, a good chunk of the main plot was about helping Fred to cope with his obsession with nets. He prefers to dodge the issue by running away and yelling, but eventually everyone admits that he’s actually got the right idea. Nets are the future and we just have to learn to accept it. This does lead to a plot hax moment where Fred turns the brown VHS cords into a clear net that looks nothing like his materials, but we can assume that he gave up and just grabbed a proper net. That still works when it comes to my head canon.

On a final note, this film definitely cements the fact that the Mystery gang depends on Fred. Without him, they were toast since the rest of the members couldn’t think of any good strategies to deal with the water monster. They were simply out of their depth by that point. The Fred plot would have been even more intense if they had gotten his old rival from the prequel show, but I’m going to assume that they’re saving him for a huge film that’ll come out and rock our world. The other Mystery Inc. members are good as per usual with the exception of Scooby Doo.

Overall, This was a solid Scooby Doo film. The Scooby subplot was disappointing, but you can’t go wrong with a Fred plot to headline the story so go check this one out! Technically, the film is consistent as always and throwing in the cool villain and original locale makes for a fun special. It’ll be over before you know it and the experience should be a good one. Just sit back and enjoy the adventure. I’m not sure when I’ll be checking out the next Scooby Doo special or film, but there are always more of them out there so stay tuned!

Overall 7/10

Scooby Doo Ghastly Goals Review

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It’s time for a soccer adventure this time! The group heads to Brazil to enjoy the soccer festivities, but they’re quickly sidetracked by the mystery ongoing. It seems like a good time of just watching the big Brazil vs USA game is out of the question. The Mystery Inc. needs to solve this case or they will have let down the Soccer community! I also have to give myself some props here because I immediately guessed that the gang was in Brazil. Most impressive eh?

The villain here is a Jackal type creature who is strong enough to break the Soccer Balls with his fist. That’s no small feat if you ask me and it shows that this guy is not to be taken lightly. Luckily, Scooby Doo and friends are up to the task for a change and they actually engage the villain in a good ole fashioned game of Soccer. After all, it’s personal this time. The Jackal was a good villain, he lacked the Oomph that the Water Dino and the Mecha Mutt had, but I’ll take him over a Scarecrow any day of the week.

Unfortunately, Scooby Doo committed one of his biggest blunders in franchise history. He caused the U.S.A. to lose in the big battle against Brazil. Not only was it completely against the rules for Scooby Doo to suddenly switch Nationalities and fight under the opponent team, but we all know that the U.S.A. should have won the match. They were pressing hard and had the momentum. Why would Scooby Doo do such a thing!? It was a tragic moment to be sure.

Let’s get onto the suspects. The facts as we know them are as follows. There is a super scientist who has invented a way to make rubber stronger. If you inject a Soccer Ball with this fluid, it’ll launch across an area with tremendous speed and it won’t stop going for quite a while. This leads to quite a few plot hax moments towards the end as the Mystery Inc gang pass the ball to each other and suddenly it is moving at normal speed. The film thought that I wouldn’t catch this, but they were wrong! So, this Soccer Ball is now the target of the Jackal and it’s too bad since the ball was owned by a pair of kids who just wanted to have some fun.

Two suspects are naturally the scientist and his assistant. They may be using this as good publicity for their collective genius. There’s also the tough security officer who won’t let them see the doctor without an appointment. This guy plays by the book and the Mystery gang don’t agree with those methods. We’ve also got the owner of the stadium who runs a tight ship, but that may be where the problem is. Maybe this is just an excuse for him to sue someone. Only one person can (typically) be the culprit…it’s only a matter of time before Scooby sniffs him/her out!

As always, the animation and soundtrack are solid. Every scene is vibrant and colorful. It’s no Transformers the animated movie, but this film doesn’t resort to becoming a Flash animated film and stays with the tried and true formula. I can’t remember any tunes so maybe calling the soundtrack “solid” is a little strong, but it works well enough I suppose. The food always looks delicious and that works for me.

See, it’s hard to animate a good slice of pizza at times. To date, the Arthur cartoon did the best job of animating it by showing off how much cheese there is supposed to be in a slice. We get some pizza here as well, on a stick. I think this is probably just a super exaggerated account of the food options over in Brazil, but I wouldn’t mind eating all of these things on a stick. The Pizza still looked great and I’d take the burgers as well. I’m pretty hungry right now so I would certainly take one of those options right about now.

The special is only around 20 minutes so it’s very fast. The plot never has a chance to drag on and it’s one of the perks of these TV specials as I mentioned earlier. Everything moves at a fast pace and this has had some success for films as well. Just look at Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. That’s still the best film of all time and it’s incredibly short. Quality defeated Quantity in this case. These specials can easily take on some of the Scooby Doo films. It’s definitely a franchise that continues to do a good job getting the characters in new/interesting situations.

I haven’t talked about the main characters in a while since they never really change. That’s an intentional thing since you don’t want to mess with a good thing, but it’s safe to say that Fred’s still the best character. He has his sad moments, but so do the rest of the gang. For the most part, he does a good job commanding everyone and thinking up the plans to ultimately save the day. Shaggy is classic since eating all of the time sounds like it would be a blast. I never cared for Velma all that much and I’m not a big fan of Scooby Doo either. Daphne’s good, but it’s always annoying when they make her act like a flirt instead of the hardened reporter that we’ve come to know from Zombie Island. I still wish we could get a hardcore rival character like the one from the Pup Named Scooby Doo show. That guy was classic!

Overall, This was a solid Scooby Doo film and probably the best one out of the 4 specials that I saw. The hard hitting Soccer action is always intense and it was good to see Scooby and the others have a more active role in going up against the villain. Typically they’re too scared to try any of this so they finally realized that when together, the Mystery Gang is a force to be reckoned with. I’d definitely recommend it if you want to see a quick, but fun adventure.

Overall 7/10