Woman in Hiding Review


It’s time for an old noir thriller. I felt like this one was a bit weaker than the average Noir title thanks to the main character in a lot of ways although it’s not like the main villain was all that great either. So it’s a team effort there but at the same time it is still a good movie which is the important part. There’s enough to enjoy here without issues and it will keep your attention.

The film starts off with Deborah deciding that she is through with Selden. The guy basically never comes by to see her. It’s apparently been over 6 months since he effectively ghosted her so she’s going to move to New York. Selden makes some weak excuses but she won’t have any of them. She knows deep in her heart that she has made the right move and settling for this guy would be doing herself a disservice. Her father has everything set up and so she goes home to get ready to pack. Unfortunately Selden runs in later on and explains that her father tripped and died in a crazy accident. He’s also back in love with her so she quickly marries him. Unfortunately this was part of his plan and now he owns the mill.

He threatens her to not leave him or try anything or he will take her down for good. So Deborah waits until night fall to make a break for it but gets into a sabotaged car and crashes. This does allow her to fake her own death but Selden is too prepared and stays on her tail. Surely switching states and names would be enough right? Well she meets another guy that she falls for and what she doesn’t know is that there’s a reward out for her. Uh oh……

So as you can probably guess I have quite a few issues with Deborah in particular here. She just seems way too easy which how she falls for these men. In fact the entire plan only works because she’s always falling in love so easily. (Which as we know when you fall in love too easily then the feelings aren’t all that deep) I don’t get how she let herself marry Selden after it was clear that he didn’t care about her the first time. I won’t fault her for not realizing that he murdered her father since that’s a lot more obvious for the viewer than the character but what she should have definitely realizes was that he just wanted to run the company and she was a means to an end. The fact that she never even suspected that makes her look absolutely terrible.

It took actual proof in front of her face that he was cheating on her for her to finally see the light. Then, in the days before internet you’d think it would be easy to stay out of hi gaze once you’re out of town right? Well it could have been easy if she had kept to herself and not taken chances but starting to like another guy? Cmonnnnnnnn, it just shouldn’t work that fast. She falls into every trap and just makes this adventure a whole lot harder than it needs to be.

I didn’t even like the second guy either. So Keith is someone who just wants to have a good time and he likes her but the guy isn’t the best at listening. Deborah basically spells out the situation to him but he chooses to sell her out anyway. I have to imagine that deep down part of it was for the money but either way it’s a bad look because she had warned him several times that she was being pursued and was obviously terrified. Somehow he took that in the other way to mean that she actually was crazy and the guy over the phone was the one who could be trusted.

He put her in so much danger that I don’t care how sorry he was about it afterwards, there’s no way I can picture her staying with him after that. You’d think that she would be completely traumatized at that point and would prefer sticking it out on her own. Meanwhile the main villain wasn’t the smartest either. He could have handled the situation with Patricia so much better if he wanted to keep the company. Additionally if he wanted to stop Deborah in the opening scene there were much better ways to do it than sabotaging a car and hoping that she didn’t survive. There are so many ways that the plan could have backfired even outside of the way that it backfired in this plan. The guy just wasn’t smart.

Speaking of characters making mistakes, we’ve also got Patricia who makes a lot of mistakes. So Selden nearly murders her in the opening scene and ditched her for money immediately yet she continues to like him for no real reason. It’s clear that he is just using her and that he’s insane but later she tries to act shocked about it. There’s no way you can believe her and I don’t see how she can even believe herself. It just makes her look even worse. If you’re going to be a backstabbing villain then you have to own that but trying to play it both ways and gain some sympathy will never work.

So in the end, what keeps this from being a stronger Noir title is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. They were all really annoying the whole time and kept on holding each other back. Deborah should have escaped easily once she made it out of the car, Selden never should have let it get to that point, Keith never should have sold her out, and Patricia should have never thought that she could trust Selden. They all kept on making mistake after mistake which was annoying but at least the core story was still engaging. This is a thriller that keeps you wondering what will happen next especially sine it’s hard to guess what the characters will mess up next.

Overall, If this sounds like your cup of tea then you should check it out. There’s always room for more thrillers out there right? If this sounds like it might be a bit of a slog, then it’s time to shift gears back onto a more iconic one. At the very least this film will remind you that if you intent to hide or fake your death then you need to really stay out of the limelight entirely. That absolutely means no falling in love for a while I’m afraid.

Overall 6/10

Old Review


Old is a movie that certainly got a lot of promotion. You always figure it should have some kind of a twist since the producer is known for that and the very premise goes hand in hand with having a good twist in there. There are some mysteries and it’s all very interesting but it fumbles the ball quickly. The characters are unlikable and the film explores a lot of the things you’d rather not see in quick aging instead of more interesting ideas. As a result it ultimately starts to drag and just really messed up here.

So the main characters Guy and Prisca have been having a lot of relationship issues lately. Their marriage is pretty much at an end so they’re just going to do this one last vacation and then call it quits. Well, their kids are excited for this at least and it seems like it should be fun. The place has complementary drinks and the whole thing is very high-end. They’re even invited to a private beach with a few other select guests but that’s when things get tricky. It doesn’t seem like there is a way to leave the Beach and they all start to grow older so time is limited here.

Naturally the hook is on seeing how the characters grow old and what they do about it. It’s a solid hook but you absolutely need something more than that if you’re going to make this a very memorable experience. This film opted to do that with character drama as they inevitably start turning on each other and everyone goes crazy. It’s not out of nowhere as the film does set up some legitimate reasons for why this group is so crazy but it doesn’t help take away from the fact that it’s annoying.

In a life or death situation the last thing you want is for everyone to start cracking right out of the gate. Of course a film may need some drama but I dare say that it would be executed better without this angle. Seeing the characters team up and keep on trying new things would absolutely have a much better effect. This way the characters are still likable and you’ve still got some drama as each attempt wouldn’t work which would put them in a tougher position. These are just some ideas off the top of my head that I think would have done a whole lot of good here.

Guy and Prisca start off on a rather rocky note and it doesn’t get much better for them for most of the film. Particularly once we find out why their relationship is in tatters. They put this aside to help the kids which is good but at no point are they all that likable. Then you have the kids Maddox and Trent. Maddox is okay but Trent definitely looks really bad here as he decides this is the best time to mess around. You’d think that he would hold off on doing anything crazy when all of this is going on but I guess not. I’ll throw blame onto Kara as well here as it takes two to tango.

It was a bad moment that also leads to a completely unnecessary scene as the gang have to work on helping Kara give birth on this island. Really now? You can probably guess that with the whole aging thing this doesn’t go over very well. Then you’ve also got a live surgery operation that has to go on and you quickly realize that the film is really trying for max shock value here. There’s a lot of interesting ideas you can do about being trapped on a beach with time moving so quickly like this but surgery and giving birth aren’t two items I would put on the list there.

Then with the characters going crazy it’s not like there’s many opportunities to team up either. So Charles is a surgeon but he was already losing his mind and this just made things worse for all of them. He ends up being the biggest obstacle here and on a small beach like this, having just one person against you can be absolutely deadly. The guy runs around with a knife trying to attack the others almost from the jump. Right when he appears you know something’s off and it just gradually gets worse and worse throughout the film.

His wife Chrystal at least seemed reasonable. Perhaps a bit stuck up but she wasn’t losing her marbles the way the others did. Unfortunately almost nobody is safe by the end so eventually she went looney as well. Agnes and Sedan didn’t really have a chance to crack. Patricia was in a really tough spot from the start so the whole time gimmick was going to get to her. For Jarin I thought his plan to swim wasn’t very well thought out. It’s a shame since he seemed like one of the most reasonable members by far.

In fact, he has the best idea early on and it was disappointing that nobody tried it. So this whole time you may be wondering why the heroes don’t just walk off of the beach right? Well, every time they walk to the exit they get dizzy and then end up fainting. The characters figure this is because of how time moves so quickly here that their bodies need time to adjust almost like when swimming deep underwater. So Jarin figures that maybe this won’t be an issue if they go really slowly.

That makes a lot of sense and I think it would have worked. Now, would it have actually resulted in a happy ending for all of them? Eh, probably not since getting out of the beach isn’t necessarily a win condition here. They’d probably still lose but from their perspective I think it is absolutely worth it and something they should have tried for. It would take a lot of time but still would have easily been the best chance of success.

Without saying what the twist is this time, I can say that it does make sense. It’s a bit more on the low key side so it’s nothing crazy but at least it does work which is the important thing. It’s a reasonable ending all things considered and at least isn’t super dreary or anything. The characters actually played it smart in the climax this time which was nice. If they had made any big mistakes or something then that would have been annoying.

Overall, Old is not a film I would recommend. The concept behind the island and the mystery is definitely interesting but it goes all “Lord of the Flies” way too quickly. Mix that in with just trying to be gritty for no reason and you lose a lot of the atmosphere that this film could have generated naturally. There’s just so much potential and promise that you can do with this kind of film and ultimately it just wasn’t there. This is a movie that you will definitely want to skip out on.

Overall 3/10

Now You See Me 2 Review


With the first Now You See Me there were definitely a whole lot of magic tricks on display. Most of them wouldn’t work in real life though so by the end you might as well say it was real magic. There were a ton of plot twists as well so things kept on spinning. Well, this film continues that as the stakes get higher and the magic even more fantastical. It’s a fun film but after a while you have to accept that the main characters know real magic for this to make sense.

We pick up about a year after the first film. The Horsemen are currently in hiding since they are nationally wanted fugitives at this point. Still, Atlas is sick of hiding and asks the Eye to make him the leader over Dylan. The Eye says that might happen someday so just keep pressing on. Shortly afterwards Dylan arrives with the next mission. It’s time to expose another corrupt company. The only problem is that the Horsemen are quickly overwhelmed by a new villain and kidnapped. They must now obey Walter’s orders and steal a tech device or they will all be murdered.

Trust me when I say there is really a lot going on here. Pretty much every character from the first film returns and then you have quite a few new villains popping up here. It definitely raises the stakes and you have to really pay attention if you want to keep up with all of the various plot twists as well. There are so many twists that you feel like the film goes in a full circle where each villain has a plan that’s around 15 layers long. It’s pretty impressive even if it’s also a bit hard to believe at times.

First off, it is fun to see the magic the way the film uses it. Every trick appears quite grand. The characters are good at talking really quickly while they divert your attention and pull out some other kind of trick. The only weakness is part of the fun would be trying to solve the tricks yourself but with half of these appearing to be pure sci-fi there isn’t anything to figure out. Character teleport around the rooms and move as if they were as fast as the Flash. Not only are you suspending disbelief at this point but you actively know that the film is mocking you.

It’s a blast as long as you do look at it through a supernatural lens though. These magicians were scouted by the Eye after all so why wouldn’t they have some kind of ability with the supernatural right? It adds up if you ask me and then it definitely helps clear the air. The special effects are really on point as well. Everything looks really sharp and high tech. You feel like you’re at a futuristic magic show.

The soundtrack is also impressive. It may be a bit limited but the tunes are memorable to be sure. So even if you hear the same track a lot, it becomes more of a theme for the main characters than anything else. The writing itself can be rather shaky at times though. As I mentioned, the film loves its twists but much like the first film, it feels like the twists are here to be here even if they don’t make sense.

A good twist does not necessarily need to be foreshadowed but it should make sense. There have been many great twists in cinema like the Joker intentionally getting captured in the Dark Knight, Eggman tricking Tails into confirming the validity of the Chaos Emerald in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, Darth Vader calling Obi Wan’s bluff and stabbing him in Star Wars, etc. Then you have twists that don’t really make sense in titles like Attack on Titan that make you think. This is definitely in the latter where even with hindsight if you look back at the films they don’t make sense.

The films have you in a whole merry go ride as things go back and forth and it’s all entertaining but I wouldn’t say it meshes. Still, you can look through it like most. The twists are entertaining and taken at face value, they can be a blast. The script itself also has a lot of great dialogue but also some cringey lines as well. You’ll be shaking your head at quite a bit of the dialogue. So the writing is a mixed bag. The story itself will keep you very well engaged but it’s clear that making everything fit in with the story is secondary to shock value.

As for the characters, I would say the antagonists really steal the show here. First we have Chase who is McKinney’s brother. He’s a pretty terrifying antagonist because he can mind control the other characters with ease and is also able to read body language perfectly. Effectively eh can do anything that McKinney can do to an even higher degree. The guy is twisted and very confident in his abilities. You won’t be forgetting the guy anytime soon.

Then you have Walter who is another genius. The guy enacts a pretty big plan to take down the main characters while barely lifting a finger. He may not be quite as high up on the list as some of the other masterminds but he has his moments. He was a fun antagonist and certainly did well in building up his own team.

Thaddeus can’t be forgotten either as he wants revenge after being captured in the first film. He knows that he has a lot of ground to make up after all so get ready to watch him act all knowing from his prison cell. Turns out you can do a lot from there. He’s incredibly confident and smug as always and is an entertaining character.

Likewise I enjoy Arthur for most of the same reasons. He’s not quite as clever as some of the other characters but he is incredibly rich and has a lot of connections. As a result he can really open doors that nobody else can and doesn’t have to hide from the others. You can definitely tell that this is the kind of guy who definitely won’t hide from anyone.

As for the heroes, we have Atlas who shares the lead spot with Dylan. Atlas was effectively the leader for most of the first movie so he’s not happy to be playing second fiddle this time around. The guy is pretty smart and as talented as ever so it’s easy to see why he doesn’t want to be a backup. He’s my favorite member of the team and does a good job of taking the lead.

Then you have McKinney who likes to take things easy and rarely gets serious. This film is pretty hard on him since there really isn’t a whole lot that he can do against most of the villains. his mind manipulation is still a pretty deadly ability though and not something to be trifled with. I’m not a big fan but he’s not bad.

Next up is Jack who is still the most hands on member of the group. He’s really good with card tricks and has even started learning hypnosis. As a result he now has two special talents which has to make him the most powerful member of the group overall. He’s more charismatic than some of the other characters. While he’s a junior member, I expect Jack will continue improving rapidly.

Lula is the new member of the group as she replaces the previous heroine. Her debut appearance is impressive as she speed blitzed Atlas multiple times and basically humiliates him by staying one step ahead. Her talent is being an expert escape artist and she does this really well. I’m not a big fan of her character though as her main personality trait is being as loud and obnoxious as possible for distraction purposes. Or it might be her main personality but she’s a bit more crude than the rest of the team.

Finally you have Dylan. It’s pretty neat to see him as the commander while still messing with the FBI in the intro. The guy was shown to be the ultimate mastermind at the end of the first film and he keeps that hype here. There’s one scene in particular where he has to fight a bunch of opponents at once and manages to keep them at bay using his magic. Now that’s impressive and not something that just anybody could do. He made for a solid character and one of the best heroes.

Overall, Now You See Me 2 definitely succeeds as a fun thriller. Perhaps calling it a heist film would be more appropriate though. The music is on point, the special effects are really cutting edge and I enjoyed the cast of characters. When you put that all together you have a recipe for a very successful movie. What holds me back from calling it great is that the writing could definitely use a lot of work. It’s a fun film but one that doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. There is a lot of replay value though so I’d consider it a higher tier 7 but it just can’t make it to the next bend. There’s a fun sequence where the characters are all throwing cards around while everyone on the opposing side forgot to bring their glasses so they don’t notice anything. I thought that was pretty creative and a good way to show off their sleight of hand.

Overall 7/10

Happy Birthday To Me Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This movie definitely has one of the more disturbing posters you’re likely to see around that’s for sure. Right away you can probably tell that this film is not going to end well and you’d be right. It’s your classic slasher title as the villain takes everyone out one by one. The main draw here is figuring out who the murderer is as there are plenty of suspects. All of these guys feel like people who may be guilty so no character is innocent here. We’ll see if you can figure out who did it.

So the movie starts by introducing us to a nice little town. In this town there’s a school with the Big 10, the students who are destined for greatness. Some of them got this status through money…well just about all of them to be honest and a few with good ole fashioned hard work. They like to mess with people as a clique by harassing people and showing a general disregard for public safety. Someone clearly doesn’t like this because members of the Big 10 keep getting murdered one after another. Some of them start suspecting foul play while others treat it all like an elaborate joke. There’s a whole lot of plot convenience here as well I should add.

The main character here is Ginny. She’s a member of the group but is fairly new to the town and is still getting used to being a rebellious person. She has just recovered from a traumatic event involving the death of her Mother but is finally ready for society again. Unfortunately these murders are having a pretty bad effect on her psyche. In fact, Ginny believes that she may be the one doing these murders but can’t find a way to prove it. The whole thing is driving her insane and her “friends” only seem to care about how they can use this momentary weakness to get together with her as a rebound. With nobody to turn to and her father away on another business trip Ginny is definitely in a pretty bad spot here.

One of the big problems with the film is just how unlikable everyone is. Part of this is the film going out of its way to make everyone suspicious but because of that there is nobody to root for. One of the big 10 for example has a creepy fascination with wax modes as he even creates some based on the girl who just went missing and did it in a violent fashion. Not exactly the kind of guy you want as a friend right? Another guy is a player who gets together with everyone all the time. Everyone is constantly trying to manipulate the others or just hooking up with everyone one after another. Ginny isn’t exactly removed from that either and doesn’t look much better. These are all deeply flawed characters to the point where none of them are even remotely likable. It’s just unfortunate.

Ginny also doesn’t put herself in a great position to try and keep some distance from the murders. She keeps on meeting up with different guys by herself. Not exactly the best plan. Of course it’s not hard since all the guys seem to like her but she should be the one avoiding these scenarios. It’s one of those films where you feel like it may not have made a difference to be honest but it still would have been nice to see her trying. Even the scene where she runs into the graveyard by herself is kind of suspect. Why distance yourself from the group like that when it’s so late at night? The fact that she lives in the middle of the forest is also pretty crazy. I suppose it’s one of those things where it probably looks better when you’re not watching a horror film but it doesn’t help here.

It goes without saying that the movie is definitely very violent. Each of the characters are murdered in very violent ways. Nobody gets what you’d call a simple death here, they all have to really go through the wringer so you can tell that the murderer really doesn’t like these guys either. They just can’t catch a break. It does raise some questions later on when you actually know what’s going on though. It also reminds you why you need to keep your guard up at times. In the very first murder, I don’t care who it is but you were just being choked by someone with black gloves and then someone with the same pair appears to help you…..suspicious right? This character didn’t think so until it was too late unfortunately. Not every murder was careless like that but another one involving weights was pretty suspect. This character is literally not saying a word the entire time you’re talking. Isn’t that kind of odd?

So of course the writing is going for the classic moments like this. I’d have to give it a thumbs down though in large part to how bad the cast was. I think you can definitely try to make this kind of film without making the characters that unlikable. It was a bit excessive at times. The only good characters were some of the supporting characters like the headmaster. At least she was trying to get a handle on things and keep people out of trouble. She may not have been very successful but at least she tried.

The movie’s big reveal at the end will either be a genius move for you or you’ll roll your eyes. As I said, there are a lot of plot conveniences for this to work that’s for sure. The actual reveal I’m cool with because it’s a lot more interesting than the other routes but you do feel like the writing doesn’t hold up. One character looks pretty terrible the whole time though as he just panics and doesn’t do anything the whole time until it’s too late. It’s too bad because in the present he seemed good even if the flashbacks got tricky. Ultimately at least you don’t get the feeling that he was a bad person, it’s just that things would come up suddenly. The villain just took things way too intensely and ultimately there’s no excuse there. Villains will be villains I suppose.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this. Happy Birthday to Me is really just your classic teen slasher. If I had to compare it to a film it’s probably most like I Know What You Did Last Summer in terms of how bad the main cast is. Whenever you have a film with no likable characters you know that things are not going to end well. You need some good characters or your film’s going to fall through just like this one did. No amount of shock value is really going to help to cover that up. As soon as members of the Big 10 were all getting bumped off though I would have moved away if I were the rest of the kids. We’ve already established that they’re rich so that’s the best thing to do. Just jet out of there! I’d also ask for Police Protection, the last thing I’ll do is head to the graveyard by myself again in the dead of night…..

Overall 1/10