Van Helsing Review

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It’s time for a vampire film review! After Twilight, I know that it can be a little hard to take vampire films seriously anymore. To my defense, I have always been against them. They just don’t make for very interesting characters. Luckily, we also get Dr. Hyde, Frankenstein’s Monster, and a vampire hunter. Adding in all of these fighters should help to make things better….I hope!

The plot revolves around the hunter known as Van Helsing. He’s notorious around many regions of the world and everyone has heard of him. He has quite the reputation after all. He finishes off a few monsters and his boss sends him to go meet Anna. He has to keep her alive to foil Dracula’s plans. Unfortunately, her brother has already been taken down so Dracula’s plan is almost complete. Will the heroes be able to put aside their differences and defeat him? It’s a longshot, but it may be possible!

Well, this is essentially how I pictured a film with Dracula as the main villain. I’m sure that Dracula may become a cool character someday, but I’m just not buying it. I really didn’t like him here and disliking the main villain can definitely hurt in the long run. Before we really discuss the film, let’s look at the cast involved.

Van Helsing is our lead and he’s basically the Jonah Hex of the group. He’s the confident professional who always gets his man and he doesn’t back down from a fight. That’s pretty noble is it not? Well, I’d argue that he’s all talk. His first fight scene against Mr. Hyde is supposed to show us just how hardcore he is. It only serves to prove the opposite as Van Helsing continues to brag despite being outmatched. He should have been destroyed several times during the fight and he only makes it out thanks to Hyde’s overconfidence.

After that, he gets beaten up on by Dracula’s two henchwomen before getting knocked around by Dracula himself. Van Helsing may not be human, but he may as well be for all the good that it does him. He’s just completely outmatched and that makes it tough for him to pose a threat to anyone. His personality is really generic in the end and there’s nothing to separate him from the other main leads of a hollywood film.

Anna is certainly not the next Black Widow. She takes pride in her overall ability, but it’s simply not enough in this film. Perhaps she could give the average human a run for their money, but she definitely wasn’t prepared for Dracula and his cronies. Due to her family history, you would expect her to have a little more experience. Unfortunately for for her, Anna gets thrown around for the entire film. Van Helsing even takes her out with his handy dandy sleeping gas. Anna continues to talk tough until the very end, but it’s very hard to take seriously.

How can anyone really take a fighter seriously when they talk tough and get defeated the next moment? I believe that it’s supposed to be inspirational to see the hero mocking the villains even while being kicked around, but I can’t say that it’s very good character development. Anna essentially serves as a parody to the tough female lead that we are used to seeing nowadays. She never really had an edge in any of her fights and it definitely wasn’t a fun showing for her. Perhaps things will turn around if this film got a sequel..too bad it won’t get one at this rate. At least she beats most of the other characters in the film…it just isn’t saying much.

Dracula is the big bad. He’s the head honcho and the ultimate evil in the film! His design is a little off putting since Dracula’s hairstyle is usually a little more subdued. Nontheless, it’s always good to have a powerful villain. Unfortunately, Dracula loves to squander his power as he holds it all back until it’s too late. He spends a lot of time talking to his minions and showing us why he’s such a terrible villain. It’s impossible to root for him while he’s so preoccupied in doing things that don’t really help his plan. His minions are constantly distracting him.

Dracula is also supposed to be immensely powerful, but we don’t really see a lot of this. His two guards seem to be a lot stronger than him. They could move at super speed! Dracula didn’t really show a lot of that, but he does have a good amount of regeneration at the ready. If it could have worked more towards the ending, things would have gotten pretty interesting. This is one of those times where power isn’t enough. Dracula is powerful, but he’s still not a great villain. He simply doesn’t have what it takes and that’s the way that I see it. Dracula’s brides were no better. They were mostly there to be really dramatic and help Dracula in his inevitable downfall. They didn’t have much of a role as characters.

Carl is Van Helsing’s assistant and he’s here to keep things light. It’s sad when characters are really just in a story for comic relief. Carl should at least try to be helpful and get some big moments. Technically, fans could argue that he had a crucial role at the end, but I can’t say that I buy it. They were really generic moments meant to make us like Carl a little more. No! Carl is the type of sidekick that I just can’t root for. Give him a few years to learn how to fight and improve his tech…then we’ll talk. As it stands, Carl was definitely expendable.

Frankenstein’s Monster disappears for most of the film, but he finally comes back towards the end. He’s played off pretty accurately from the book. He’s a misunderstood hero and everyone wants to destroy him as per usual. It’s definitely not fun to be a monster. His design was definitely hard to look at and while he could fight..he was pretty slow. Making him so traditional may not have been a great move. At least he helped to add to the monster count, but he was mostly unnecessary.

Igor is one of the more minor villains in the film. He defected to the side of the villains so that he could fulfill his evil ambitions….or not. I wish that it had been for such a deep reason. Regardless, Igor just isn’t a good villain. He’s very weak and he doesn’t stand a chance against any real character. He likes to hit people when they’re down, but he’s no match for a real opponent. Igor typically isn’t a likable character in the films and this one is no exception.

Velkan is a supporting character at best. He does get a decent number of scenes though and he may be stronger than we thought. There’s a plot twist that keeps him relevant for a while. Needless to say, he lacked strength of character and I can’t say that he was very impressive at the beginning of the film. Everyone looked bad though, but the overall plan was terrible. His reaction times weren’t great either and it’s a lose-lose situation. If only he had been stronger!

It should be noted that some scenes will stretch your limits for disbelief. The “plot hax” in this film isn’t concealed very well. Anna is thrown through a window and she bangs a lot of wood beams and the wall as she went crashing down. It was a pretty big blast that a human likely wouldn’t survive. Likewise, Dracula’s brides kept slapping her around while throwing Van Helsing into walls. Both of them should have been out of commission considering how powerful they were.

The biggest moment where you may have to facepalm is the final fight between Dracula and a powerful creature. By all accounts, Dracula should have crushed his opponent. The film didn’t show us anything to suggest otherwise so I don’t see why it was such a close fight. In fact, Dracula is on the defensive the entire time and he seems very worried. He should at least try to act tough on the outside since that’s what all of the heroes do anyway. This film just made the mistake of making the villains too powerful. When that happens, the heroes always have to win in really fake ways like what we saw here.

The fight scenes ranged from pretty good to decent. The final fight with Dracula is pretty fun to watch since it’s essentially a monster bout. It was also good to see Dracula’s brides take on the village. Their super speed feats were pretty impressive and they should have destroyed everyone without any real effort. The plot wouldn’t allow it, but that’s how powerful they were. Other battles were less interesting like Van Helsing versus Hyde. It was way too one sided and the fight was pretty boring.

The soundtrack was mostly absent from the film. Luckily, there is still a really good theme that plays during the ending and at one point near the beginning. It’s very operatic and that’s the kind of theme that can make a scene become a lot cooler. It would have been cool if it had played more, but it’s enough to grant the soundtrack a passing score.

Finally, the film did have some unnecessary romance. It’s squeezed in at the last second for the heroes so you can tell that they just wanted to throw it in. Dracula and his brides also have some wince worthy scenes that are pretty sad. Sure, it could be worse, but this certainly didn’t help the film win any points.

Overall, This film lived up to my hopes for a Dracula film. I’ll never like Vampires at this rate and there will likely only be a few exceptions by the end. (Strauss is epic) There was a moment where some animal violence concerned me, but the animal lived, which was great. Still sad to see it get hit, but at least it managed to tank the blast. The film mostly suffered from the fact that it dragged on for too long and it wasn’t terribly interesting. Cutting out Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster would have helped it a lot. Or, make Dracula a compelling character as he punches people out instead of biting them. That could have been a nice twist. This film felt like I Frankenstein, but the normalized version that can be more acceptable to the crowds. Unfortunately, the crowds didn’t include me this time. If you like Vampire movies, then you should like this one. Otherwise, I’d advise you to steer clear of it. Watch I Frankenstein if you want a film with lots of magical creatures going at it. Perhaps I was a little harsh on the film since it could have made more mistakes, but it definitely made enough of them. A cooler cast with better action scenes could have potentially bumped this up to a 6 if handled right. Maybe next time.

Overall 4/10

Battle for the Planet of the Apes Review

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It’s the final installment in the Planet of the Apes series. It should really be City of the Apes instead of Planet, but that’s just how it goes. If you’ve seen my reviews for the other titles, then you’ll know that I’ve been less than pleased with the series so far. The first film was the only one that I gave a decent score. (Depending on your definition of decent) Luckily, the series ends on a relatively high note as this one definitely defeats the second, third, and fourth films. I dare say that it can even defeat the first film. Making it an uphill battle for future Ape films to defeat this one. Why was I so impressed with this film? (Compared to the others anyway) Well, this film may have been a little on the boring side for a while, but it also corrected most of the problems that I had with the series.

The plot begins in the far future. An ole Ape is telling his audience about an ape named Caesar and how he had a good adventure. We go back to the past and Caesar now rules over all. The humans had another one of their wars and everyone in sight died. The few humans who lived through it were brought to the Apes to work as slaves. Caesar likes how things have turned out and he even has a kid named Cornelius. Unfortunately, the gorillas are starting to rebel and their newfound leader is Aldo. He believes that humans should be destroyed instead of enslaved and he seems to be pretty dangerous. Caesar doesn’t really consider him to be a threat, which is either brave…or overconfident. It’s a little ambiguous. MacDonald advises Caesar to check out the recordings of his parents and they wander into an abandoned city. Turns out that some mutants (Humans who were affected by the radiation) live there and now it’s time for the war to begin anew. The mutants will launch a final counter offensive to destroy the apes once and for all. Which side will prevail!?

Caesar is back to being our lead in this film although he’s pretty distant at times. He’s technically the main character, but you almost wouldn’t know it from the way he acts. He’s grown old and some of the members are beginning to realize this. The humans essentially work as his slaves right now although he likes to think of it as a friendship in the making. Once the two sides understand each other…there will be harmony. It’s a pretty intriguing strategy, but it’s one that would likely never work. Caesar just isn’t likable by the end because he’s a little too oblivious to everything that’s happening. He never even suspects who attacked his kid and he’s pretty isolated in his little hut. He doesn’t even hear the loud sounds of war when the attack first begins and he refuses to go out because he’s with Cornelius. He’s definitely not the general that you would expect. He still does have a solid glare that he shares with the others once in a while, but it’s just not enough.

MacDonald is in this film, but it’s not the same MacDonald from the last film. This one is the latter’s brother, but he retains the same personality. He wants Caesar to give the humans more freedom, but he plays along with the system for the moment. He has big plans and they all come to the surface at the end. It’s a risky gamble and it only barely pays off. He was all right I suppose, but there’s not much to say about him. He was just there.

General Aldo is one of the main villains in this film. He wants all of the humans to be destroyed and he has several followers. Their goals are ambitious and not even Caesar can stop them. Aldo is openly rebellious and the others seem to fear him. His misplaced pride in his methods keeps him from being a likable character. Whether human or ape, both species have some bad apples. His fight against Caesar was very brief and it definitely didn’t make him look like a powerful warrior. I guess he was all talk after all.

Governor Kolp is The main villain of the film. He is the leader of the small pocket of human resistance and he definitely won’t allow the apes to keep their city. He wants his men to destroy everything so that the Apes can be their slaves once more. This guy is obviously not a sympathetic villain and he’s also pretty weak. He’s the type of guy who ends up going on a long monologue and panics at everything. He’s completely unreasonable and war is the only thing on his mind. Maybe he would be a little more bearable if he would actually fight….but he can’t. He’s a pretty forgettable villain in the grand scheme of things.

So, as I mentioned earlier, this film was a definite improvement over the last one. General Aldo and Governor Kolp are mean villains, but we don’t have to be reminded of this constantly through shocks and other such scenes as in the last film. These guys just come out swinging and they’re not all that subtle about it. The climatic fight between Caesar and Aldo is pretty serious business and while it’s short, it easily beats the last few climaxes. This was a fight that you could get behind and the stakes were real. It was very cheesy and unintentionally funny, which made it more enjoyable than the overly long revolt climax that we got last time.

Of course, that still couldn’t stop the film from being pretty boring. You never really care about what’s going to happen. After all, it’s a story about how awesome Caesar is so there are only so many ways that the film could go from there. Starting out the film as a story is never a good idea. Luckily, the film is decently short so it doesn’t have a whole lot of time to drag on. It goes through the motions and as the viewers, we just play along.

Another negative for the film would be the previously segment. It’s pretty long and utterly unnecessary. If you forgot the plot for one of the most basic franchises out there, then it’s time to go and order some Doritos loaded. We get to see most of the scenes that we’ve tried to hard to forget. From the apes leaving their suitcase where anyone could find it to the final fight scene of the last film. This flashback took up quite a few minutes and we just didn’t need it.

The setting for the film plays out like the Walking Dead. It’s a sandy area without any real kind of life. The civilization is pretty primitive and most of the inhabitants are still finding their place in the world. Enslaving the humans essentially restarted the cycle, which felt a little bit like backtracking as well.

Once again, I’ve also got to criticize the big plan of the Apes. Having everyone lie down in the middle of the road to wait for the enemies to come is a pretty terrible strategy. They could have been stepped on or shot. The odds of such a plan succeeding are pretty low. This doesn’t help to show how much smarter Apes are than humans either. They got off lucky that time, but what about the next time the humans strike? They better have their weapons ready.

Overall, This Apes film was more enjoyable than the others. It essentially did away with most of my complaints. It didn’t develop into a very solid film either, but being boring was really its only big problem. It’s like watching a LOTR film, but at least it only lasts for a little over an hour and a half. Nothing really gets accomplished in the film. The only big event in the film is the human’s attack upon them. The rest is just the Apes talking and everyone being upset about their current predicament. Yes, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this film and you’re better off watching some old Naruto re runs. There is a happy ending though so maybe the cycle can finally stop…maybe. We’ll see if the Burton remake or the latest remake will be able to get a more positive score. It’s hard to picture…but it could happen. After all, this film gave us a ray of hope.

Overall 4/10

Sonic Universe Volume 1 The Shadow Saga Review

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It’s finally time for another Sonic review! Sonic Universe has been pretty fun so far. I dare say that the Sonic Saga Series still has the edge, but this spinoff is a great way for the side characters to shine. As you can see from the title, Shadow is the main character! That’s pretty great since he’s easily one of the greatest Sonic characters out there! This collection contains 4 stories.

The first comic deals with Shadow’s battle against Metal Sonic. He has followed him to another dimension and Shadow’s mission is to get the Chaos Emerald and report back to base. Unfortunately, Metal Sonic doesn’t want to come in quietly so Shadow’s in for a fight! Luckily, Blaze and Marine happen to be passing by and they join the fray. Will their combined might be enough to stop Metal Sonic or will the flaming fighter turn against Shadow!?

Shadow’s next mission sees him team up with Sonic and Rouge to prevent a missile from being fired. There’s not much to say about this comic’s main plot since it’s pretty straight forward. What makes it more interesting is that we also get some flashbacks to the Adventure 2 Battle days where Sonic and Shadow fought to the bitter end. As expected, Shadow had the edge in the flashback. Still, stopping this missile is going to take every bit of their strength!

This next adventure is one that I’m a little more familiar with. Scans of the Shadow vs Omega fight could be found everywhere back in the day. It’s fun to finally get to see the comic in action. G.U.N. orders Shadow to find Gamma and recruit him to the cause. Unfortunately, Eggman has also sent out Omega to finish Gamma off for good. Shadow’s in a race against time and this new robot might prove to be more than he can handle! Shadow’s ultimate fight begins here!

Finally, the collection ends with another mission for Shadow. He is to go to the special zone to get another Chaos Emerald. Unfortunately for the Ultimate Life Form, Feist now rules the land. He has unlimited power at his disposal and he refuses to hand over the emerald unless the heroes play along with his games. Luckily, Shadow is not alone and his teammates, Rouge and Omega, arrive to help out. Can the three of them overcome this cosmic panda?

Shadow gets a lot of screentime, but that could also be dangerous for the writers. He is really cool as the dark rival to Sonic, but as a main character, they would need to make sure that he doesn’t become too cheerful and heroic. Luckily, this portrayal of him was a lot better than the ones that we’ve been seeing recently. He’s still in a pretty sad mood throughout the collection because he keeps failing his missions and letting allies be destroyed. It’s decently understandable though so it could definitely be worse.

Aside from that, this is the Shadow that we grew up with. He’s always ready for combat and he’s acknowledged as the Ultimate Life Form. We get to see him go up against Metal Sonic, Sonic, Omega, and more. He definitely looked a little weak in the first comic, which was a little dicey, but he looked better as the issues went on. He could and should have been a lot stronger, but I just have to assume that they’ll continue to work on this. After all…he actually couldn’t defeat Omega? I’ll admit that the scene did not make any sense, but they had to force the plot through somehow. Shadow doesn’t make as many wisecracks as Sonic and he’s definitely more serious, but Shadow is a very good main character. He can hold his own comic much more than any of the other Sonic characters. (Aside from Sonic)

Rouge is a part of Shadow’s team the entire time, but she only gets her screentime in the second and fourth comics. She’s a pretty solid fighter, but she doesn’t have a whole lot to do here since the enemies are either cosmic or unliving. She does give her assistance to the hedgehogs against the missile and it comes in handy. She’s a pretty good character in these issues and she likes to take a lot of shots at Shadow. It’s too easy to pass up I suppose. She also had a team up with Sonic in the flashback, which was an interesting interpretation of the Adventure 2 Battle storyline.

Sonic’s role in this collection is very small. He only appears for one of the issues, but he looks pretty cool. He ends up saving Shadow and he talks big right from the start. In the flashback to Adventure 2 Battle, Sonic was pretty reasonable and called off the fight until they could save Rouge. In the present, he saved Shadow from making another heroic sacrifice for the team. Any way you slice it, Sonic’s a pretty cool character. He’s great as a main character and he also does well as an assist.

Omega is a bit of a mixed bag. He definitely looks better than he did in Treasure Team Tango, but I’m still not a huge fan. He talks tough and he has a bunch of explosives, but he’s really just another robot. He does undergo a personality shift during the issues due to a big event that happened to him. He makes for a strong ally to have at your side, but I dare say that Gamma was a little cooler in this collection. Omega will need to prove himself and show the world that he has what it takes. He’s supposedly on Shadow’s level in terms of power…we shall see. At least he loves to fight! (Always a good sign)

Gamma is pretty cool in this volume. I can’t say that I was ever a huge fan of the guy, but you can’t doubt his power. He’s a good robot at heart and it was nice to see him defect from Eggman’s organization in Sonic DX. He made the hero call and it’s pretty rare for one of Eggman’s robots to do this. His storyline is actually pretty tragic in the collection and it definitely gets Shadow down for a while. Gamma’s portrayal in this collection was rock solid and I can safely say that I gained a little respect for him. I would have gained more, but I didn’t like how he basically gave up in the end. You should always keep on fighting to the last breath no matter what the obstacle is. I would have liked to have seen him join shadow’s crew.

Metal Sonic doesn’t get a huge role in this collection and I have to say that he wasn’t very likable. He’s basically just following Eggman’s orders and he doesn’t have any free will of his own. Shadow tries to reason with him, but Metal Sonic just won’t hear it. The collection has a nice index of all previous Metal Sonic versions in the back, which was fun to see. Technically, this one is typically my favorite Metal Sonic since he’s the one that I grew up with. I hope that he sees the error of following Eggman soon so that he can try to crush the world on his own. He made quick work out of Shadow so we know that he definitely has the power to do this. I hope we see him again soon.

Blaze’s abilities are definitely fun to watch. There aren’t many elemental fighters in the Sonic multiverse. That being said, she’s a little out of her league against Metal Sonic. She was nice enough to give Shadow the Chaos Emerald though and she’s definitely a reasonable person. I’d say that she’s another solid supporting character. Marine is also there, but she really gets no respect from the heroes. Shadow is pretty mean to her the whole time and Blaze can’t even defend her. Marine is all heart and she’s just enthusiastic, but she appears to be misunderstood at the moment. She definitely got their hopes up since she was talking so big. It never pays to boast…

Feist may be one of the stronger Sonic villains out there, but I can’t really take him all that seriously. It could be that he looks like a Panda, but he’s also just very generic as an opponent. He likes to mess with the heroes and I guess I can see why. That being said, he’s just not interesting. Cosmic abilities aren’t fun to look at unless they throw in some magic or energy. Feist will need to have an actual fight for me to recognize him as an intense villain.

Well, this was definitely another fun batch of Sonic comics. They were all very good issues and it’s why this collection managed to nab the elusive 8. Giving Shadow the lead role was a wise move on Archie’s part as he needed some more screentime. The collection also has a lot more action than normal with each issue providing us with some exciting moments. This is easily the best Sonic Universe yet and it’ll be tough to top. That being said, I know that a recent arc in the series saw Shadow become the main character again…so anything’s possible.

The Sonic Universe series is all about mini arcs so there aren’t any subplots that are left unexplored. The stories all tie up together through Shadow’s subplot and how he eventually learns to trust the others and remember that he’s a part of the team. The plot may not be very deep, but that’s never been a problem for Archie. Just seeing all of the fan favorite characters get together to brawl and have some friendly banter is great. The comics are very similar to the Mega Man ones and that makes sense since they share some staff. (A crossover also happened recently)

The art is pretty solid as expected. Everything is pretty streamlined and the fight scenes are easy on the eyes. This is probably the first time that we’ve gotten a fight scene as intense as the Metal Sonic vs Shadow battle. At least, power wise anyway. Gamma vs Omega is also pretty interesting and Shadow gets a nice piece of the action. The art holds up pretty well for all of these scenes. The cover art makes it look like Adventure 2 Battle, which is a great tough. The artist definitely remembers the greatest Sonic game out there!

Overall, this was a great Sonic Universe collection! The action was fun in each of the comics and the art was dynamite. Just about all of the characters were likable and I thoroughly enjoyed the homages to Adventure 2 Battle. That’s definitely how you get the fans interested in the plot. It’s cool to note that this is the first Sonic Universe collection so it is definitely a memorable pack. Starting off with Shadow adventures is the way to go. I highly recommend this comic to all Sonic fans and to anyone who wants a fun comic. It’s not very complex and anyone can get into it. You can expect another Sonic review in the neat future.

Overall 8/10

Mikasa vs Levi


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Mikasa and Levi are both known as experts in the Titan world. Mikasa was established as the best Titan slayer from the beginning and Levi quickly tried to steal this title when he appeared. “Tried” is the key term and I still acknowledge Mikasa as the better fighter. She has easily taken out multiple titans in the past without breaking stride. Levi definitely talks more, but that’s really his only edge. His arrogance would lead to his downfall. Mikasa wins.

Update! Well, the anime was a littler exaggerated with Levi’s speed during his battle against the Female Titan if you ask me, but it is what it is. Whether it was exaggerated or not, the speed feats happened so he would have to win this battle. Mikasa now sinks to 0-2…Levi wins.

Firestar vs Judgeman


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Firestar is a good cat, but he’s no match for the powers of Judgeman. Judgeman is a skilled netnavi and he’s fought with guys as powerful as Megaman. Firestar is a good runner and he never backs down from a fight, but 9 lives just isn’t enough to win this round. Judgeman could beat hundreds of Firestars. Judgeman wins.

Original image for Firestar was drawn by NatameSecrea. The link to the image is below.

http://natamesecrea.deviantart.com/art/Warriors-Firestar-144212178

Star Lord vs Ultron


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Star Lord may be the fearless leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy, but he’s no match for Ultron. The picture seen above basically proves this already. Ultron is virtually indestructible and his speed is also impressive. He has traded blows with the Sentry in the past and none of Star Lord’s guns will have any effect on him. This is the Age of Ultron after all! Ultron wins.

Ironman vs Korath


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Korath may be a warrior, but he’s no match for Ironman. Ironman’s armor grants him much greater strength than Korath possesses and his speed is also on a different level. One good Uni Beam would probably take Korath down for the count. Korath is a decent hand to hand fighter, but he would only be able to give Ironman a good fight in one of his earliest armors. Ironman wins.

Gamora vs Pip the Troll


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Pip the Troll may mean well, but he is definitely not powerful enough to defeat Gamora. She is known as one of the stronger fighters in the cosmic circles after all and her hand to hand techniques can be deadly. Pip the Troll just isn’t a fighter and that’s what it all boils down to in the end. Without hand to hand skills…Pip is doomed. Gamora wins.

Android 18 vs Robin (Tim)


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Android 18 is back and I’m afraid that Tim Drake has no chance against her. He’s an exceptional fighter in hand to hand combat, but that isn’t enough against a foe who can destroy whole planets. Android 18 is much faster than Robin and she has a lot of good techniques at her disposal. Tim will be lucky to get out of there alive! Android 18 wins.