A spinoff series for short stories eh? Should be intriguing and I like the concept. It would be great for most series, but I’m not sure if it’ll work for Sailor Moon since the characters were never its strong suit. I’ll have a review for it when I finish the series though and it’s not particularly long so prepare yourself! If you’re a big fan of the franchise, then you should have a blast with it.
Overall 5/10
I have finally unlocked all of the characters! That Street Fighter V fundamentals training has served me well. I also beat Arcade Mode on the hardest difficulty for the lolz B)
Does the poster spoil the ending? Let’s hope not, although this is a classic so you’ve probably seen it already. If not, then I’d recommend checking it out. It’s not an elite all star film like you may have heard, but it’s a good story. The romance is rather lackluster though and downright bad by the end. Press 1 if you feel bad for the Rebound Guy who shall never know his own fate. This film’s definitely been remembered for many generations and will always stay as a classic so let’s see what the film theoretically did right and what it may have done wrong.
The film takes place during the time where Germany had occupied France. Rick has a little bar that’s going smoothly, but that’s when some Germans arrive looking for a resistance member. Rick has attained a pair of passports that can let the resistance member safely escape the country, but he doesn’t want to give them up because he now has the opportunity to destroy the woman who gave him the slip many years ago and crushed whatever romance they may have had back in the day. Rick never forgets a grudge, but will he ultimately decide to put his feelings to the side so that he can help stop the Nazi’s?
Rick really had a good thing going for him, but Laszlo and Ilsa’s appearance throws a curveball into his life. We rarely know when we are about to make a choice that will alter our life forever, but have to do the best that we can. Of course, it’s hard to just help an old enemy so easily and Rick is naturally upset. Worse, the Nazi’s now know that he has a history of helping the resistance stop the oppressors so he has come under great scrutiny. He’s on friendly terms with the chief of France’s police, but that might not help him all that much if the Germans really do start to go after him.
Rick’s a classic retro hero who’s very confident and can casually respond to the enemy banter. He’s not a bad main character and is far more likable than the leads of the last few films that I watched. He does make things very dangerous for the other characters for most of the film, but ultimately makes the right choices….for the most part. He helps some people flee the country and does help the resistance. The one wrong choice that he made was having a one night affair with Ilsa even though he knew that she was married.
I’m referring to near the end as he didn’t know that she was married the first time. That one was on her, but he certainly could have simply denied her the last time, but chose to accept her offering before sending her on her way. It was not a good move and Rick proved that he was not as heroic as he could have been. The wise thing to do there would have been to have just given them the passports if he had been planning to do so or to have gone along the plan without that move. It also makes things sad for Laszlo.
Unlike some of the other guys, Laszlo may realize that he is the rebound guy, but it’s definitely not a whole lot better for him. Knowing that you are the rebound guy must be incredibly hard to bear and honestly it can make you doubt everything. It’s one of the reasons why you should be incredibly careful when choosing your partner. It’s so that you can actually trust her when you have to be gone for a few months. In the beginning, Ilsa thought that Laszlo was dead of course so it’s not as bad. Of course, what you could say is bad is the fact that she got over it so quickly and moved on to another man. Why are the characters all so easy? It would probably be even worse if this was a modern film. At least the romance is handled tastefully for the most part….the last romance scene notwithstanding.
It’s a fairly pleasant film and one of those well written films that you don’t really see nowadays. The characters all come across as intelligent and even when they’re threatening each other it’s always very civil. Naturally it can be a little long for some as not everyone will enjoy the long conversations, but given the positive reviews around the board, I think it’s safe to say that most people enjoyed the interactions. They’re definitely solid and the film never dragged on for me because it was all very interesting. It would have been great to have had a quick epilogue where some Americans came in to take down all of the Nazi’s, but maybe that would have taken too long.
The film did a good job of throwing in some context and backdrop for the characters. Even though the film had to get into the plot right away, you got a good sense of the town and the people there. They may have been beaten, but they weren’t broken and they were still fighting hard to stay upbeat. The scene where they play their anthem over the German one was definitely a good one and watching everyone talk about how they wanted to leave was a nice subtle way of showing the condition over in Paris. We never actually saw that the conditions were poor, but still knew it through this, which is a solid way of expanding the universe. Subtlety can definitely be a great tactic.
Overall, Casablanca is a good film that lives up to its reputation as a solid romance. It’s not world shattering, but I’m not a big romance fan so it equals out. Aside from the needless romance scene between Ilsa and Rick (A romance that I definitely don’t think is award worthy) the film really didn’t have any flaws and made for an enjoyable experience. It’s a fairly calm film with very few action scenes, but it’s meant to be more about the choice that Rick has to make. Will he make the right one or won’t he? I’m glad to say that he did make the right choice and turned out to be a decent person. There was even some room for a sequel where we could see Rick in the resistance. That would be neat although it could be sad if handled wrong. If you’re looking for a pleasant romance then this is a good film to check out.
Overall 7/10
It’s time to review a very retro film. It’s one of those films that may have a lot of good reviews, but when you really take a look at it…it doesn’t hold up very well. The characters are all very unlikable and the romance is one of the worst that you’ll have seen in years. It almost makes Twilight’s look good, but that’s just about impossible anyway. The sun did set on this film, but I don’t think that was the film’s intention!
Joe’s a film writer who’s been through some tough times. None of his scripts are any good anymore and he gets serious writer’s block at times. He’s also on the run from the proper (car) authorities since he couldn’t pay the bill on his car. Things are really heating up and he even considers moving across the state, but that’s when he runs into the retired actress, Norma Desmond. She has a lot of money and is willing to help him become rich if he can help her finish her script so that it becomes a real movie. Joe can never pass up quick check, but is this really the right move?
No, I can say that it isn’t the right move, but Joe’s not a good character so I wasn’t expecting him to make the right one anyway. It wouldn’t have been in character now would it? The romance is poorly done here on all levels, but first let’s start with the subplot that comes out of nowhere. The person (Betty) who read Joe’s scripts decides that he has a lot of talent and wants him to help her write a script. He declines, but eventually decides to do it. The problem with this plot is that Betty is engaged, but she immediately falls for Joe anyway, nearly getting together with him in the bathroom of a party after only seeing the guy for about 2 minutes. Keep in mind that she’s already engaged. Once her fiance heads over to another state for some kind of project, she quickly tries to make her move and Joe is naturally happy about this. The problem is that he’s playing the field with two people at once.
So, Joe decides to break it off with both. Before we say how, let’s go to the main plot. Norma Desmond is a lot older than Joe of course, but that doesn’t stop her from flirting with him and since Joe knows that she’s the source of his weekly pay check, he obliges her. He continues to let this relationship happen and even allows her to believe the deception that she may make a comeback as an actress. That’s why we invented the concept of tough love as these passive lies will definitely hurt a person in the long run. Naturally, this isn’t a very healthy relationship and Norma has divorced 3 husbands in the past so that should have been a good hint to Joe.
Anyway, his decision to break off his relationships to both Norma and Betty involves calling Betty over to see his mansion and then dumping her…after having her come over all the way from her house in the dead of night. Couldn’t have broken it off over the phone right? He also did it in a passive aggressive way so as to not formally break it off, but just antagonize her until she got the message. Then, after giving Norma hope that she was the only one for him, he quickly told her that he was leaving as well and after making sure that she had a gun at the ready, he walked away. Naturally he got shot in the back and quickly sprinted over to the pool so that he could have a flashy death, but it was a predictable end to the film.
After all, the movie made the interesting choice of showing him dead in the very first scene as he tells us a flashback. It’s not explicitly stated that it was him of course, but it’s rather obvious since there were no other characters who looked like him in the film. It was a very small cast after all so there was never a doubt as to how the film would end. The only question would be “Why was he shot?” Well, now we know the answer. The guy wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen and you can only antagonize people for so long before one of them turns out to be a killer. At least the finance guys finally got their car back from him.
The cops show up at the end to wrap everyone up, but they’re not as tough as the cops from nowadays. They allow Norma to slowly walk down the steps and act as if she is still in a movie instead of quickly throwing her in the cop car and getting on with it. The reporters are always glad to have an extended scene like this of course, but they certainly have her a lot of leeway. Considering that she just killed a man, you’d expect a little more intensity from the cops right?
There’s not much to really like about the film. As I’ve already shown, Joe’s a terrible main character. He has no heroic qualities about him. The only part of his personality that is decent is the fact that he gets a lot of burns and insults the entire time as he pokes fun at everyone, but it’s always just talk. He talks about how he should leave Norma and yet he doesn’t make a move until the very end. He’s not actually brave enough or confident enough to make a move and the only times that he does try something are when they’re actions that he shouldn’t take. One such action is naturally trying to steal the girl of his best friend. That’s not a whole lot of loyalty on his part.
If he would focus more on his writing and less on all of the fluff that’s around him, he could have been a real character. As it stands, he’s not someone that you’ll want to be around and I can see why his scripts were no good. He doesn’t take them seriously enough. It’s a shame since the beginning of the film did show some promise and the overall picture could have been quite good. If the story was played seriously and Norma did not fall for Joe we could be talking about a completely different movie. Who knows, maybe this could have actually been a solid 7 instead of the finished product that we got in the end instead. Alas, there are no what ifs when it comes to film right?
Overall, There’s no shining sliver of hope to grab here as the film’s just one big mess that gets more and more entangled in its own plots. Now we’ll also know that the best friend was just the rebound guy even though he’ll never suspect it as his engaged partner will likely never mention these facts. It’s one of the tricky turns of romance and a lot of films actually don’t mind making the guy just the “rebound guy” anymore. Even the next film that I’m about the review used the same technique and it does make you wonder for the eventual husbands who have to put up with this role. You just have to wonder what they would think if they knew. They probably should have realized that if anyone is easy enough to fall for you at first sight, that they may have already done the same for others. Just think on that as you pass by this film at your local DVD store and instead stop at Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. No drama there, just hard hitting action!
Overall 1/10
It’s time for a Witch film! Witches aren’t explored quite as much as vampires and werewolves so a film about them always has the potential to be promising. Magic can be interesting after all, but can it really be handled right? I thought that the trailer really didn’t look that good and I wasn’t surprised by the fact that this film didn’t exactly break the box office. It’s not Jupiter Ascending levels of cringe, but I still wouldn’t call it a good film either.
A lot of films like to go with the tried and failed approach of opening in the olden days where everyone was still banging rocks together and attacking with spears. I’ve never liked this approach since the olden days are no fun to watch and may as well be forgotten at this point. We get to watch the final battle between the humans and the witches as Kaulder destroys the queen, but not before becoming immortal. Now he is forced to live on and destroy witches through the years. Gee…was this a good move Witch Queen? It actually is thanks to a plot twist at the end so the move was quite impressive. Still, the witches as a whole are probably disappointed with this development.
Skip to the present, Kaulder is now a man who has lost his morals and likes to have one time flings for the lolz. It’s quite disappointing as he could have been a likable character, but we’re quickly reminded not to get attached to any of the players here. His old partner decides to retire so that Kaulder can work with a new cadet. Kaulder is saddened, but he’ll move on as he always does. Unfortunately, his partner is attacked and roughed up as well as cursed. Kaulder will have to find the person who placed the spell on his partner in order to free him, but finding the main villain will be tough.
Realizing that he needs to find a secret in his past, Kaulder seeks the help of a young witch (Who can’t fight) named Chloe. Chloe can walk in dreams and help you relive the past so she is helpful, but as per the curse of being next to the main character, her bar is destroyed and her best friend as well. Now she really has no choice, but to help Kaulder so that she can avenge her pal. The two of them may be outnumbered and these villains may be too powerful, but Kaulder’s immortal so what’s the worst that can happen?
As you can tell, I don’t care for Kaulder. Chloe’s the main heroine and gets a rather large role. She definitely seems like an unlikable character at first, but thankfully gets better as the film goes on and even gets away from the trope of falling for the main lead. The film did good there and I’ll give it some props, but now we need Chloe to get some offensive abilities. Let’s face it, she only won her main battle because her opponent was asleep. Had he been awake, she still has no spells to fight the other witches with. Walking in dreams is cool, but it’ll rarely be useful in a fight.
The ending of the film leaves room for the sequel since the Witch Queen is not altogether vanquished. Spoiler for the ending folks so tread carefully. The Witch Queen essentially tied her life force to Kaulder’s so if Kaulder were to die, then she would as well. As long as Kaulder lives, the Witch Queen cannot be destroyed either. For years they simply had her locked away and that’s what they plan to do again, but the threat of her return will always be around. Of course, it’s not as if Kaulder can just destroy himself in good conscience. For starters, destroying yourself is a no no and secondly, he’s the only Witch Hunter left on he planet. If he were to be gone, the war between witches and humans would commence once again. Especially considering the fact that the council of humans was wrecked so easily. There is no real human defense against the witches at the moment.
It’s an interesting world that Kaulder lives on though as magic is used very regularly by the witches in all forms of occupations, but the humans don’t suspect a thing. We even learn that they are eating worms instead of ice cream as magical powers simply shapeshift them. The whole situation is really bad for the mere mortals and I’d like to see them rise up to stop this. They just have to stay civilized about the whole thing.
Going back to the climax for a sec, sadly there is a lot of plot hax involved. During the fight, Kaulder had no immortality and was very weakened thanks to a last second betrayal while the Witch Queen was at her peak. She’s fast and has many abilities so this should be easy right? Well, she was so busy powering up that she didn’t notice Kaulder pick up the glowing sword and hurl it straight at her. She was also too busy to think of dodging and it made for a very anticlimactic finish. That’s why you should always be careful about making the villains so much stronger than the heroes.
Even when Kaulder was strong, the villains would keep messing with his mind since he is very weak against telepathic blasts. It was embarrassing when he lost the second time since it was pretty personal by that point. They never explain why the guy that he was fighting looked very similar to how Kaulder was back in the Pre Historic days. Perhaps it was just coincidence I suppose.
The action scenes were mainly 50/50. I didn’t care for the intro battles as the old people fought with flame swords and realized how futile the whole attempt was as they got taken down one by one. They eventually won thanks to some convenient plot hax, but it was a rather dull fight scene and was mostly just about how weak they all were. In the present, the fights were more entertaining when they actually occurred. A lot of the “fights” ended up being one hit KOs like Kaulder against the big Witch Guardian. The Witch Queen had a good fight with him until that last moment so that would be a highlight.
Part of the problem is that grass powers are never that entertaining and another part is simply that the Witch Queen and her minions are so ugly that it takes away from the battle scenes. The Queen looks like an undead zombie or like a vampire rather than a witch. I want my classic witch design with the crooked hat back! The film’s soundtrack is fairly unmemorable although I remember is being fairly decent. It’s just that the tunes won’t stick with you once they’re over and done with.
Overall, The Last Witch Hunter is a fairly dreary film that showed some promise, but couldn’t quite live up to it. The Airplane scene where Kaulder disabled the magical entanglement for example was a good scene. I wouldn’t mind seeing him stop similar threats as he went around the world. The daytime rarely appears or even has time for it since night always falls, but the action scenes don’t take advantage of the night. Above all, it’s just not a very fun film and I would have liked to have had a better villain. Better heroes would help too and considering that this is an action film with a lot of magical elements, the witches didn’t use any real impressive spells the whole time. I wanted some neat elemental spells and some great visuals. Looks like I’ll have to wait for Dr. Strange to get those. If you’re not very particular about your fights and just want a run of the mill action film then this one’s for you. If you want an action film with a purpose, watch Tron Legacy! That film has great visuals and great action scenes!
Overall 4/10
I saw Labyrinth a while back and it’s one of those classic 80’s-90’s films that they just don’t make anymore. I definitely hadn’t heard of it until about 5 minutes before I started the film so it’s always interesting to delve into the unknown realms. We get some catchy songs and the overall soundtrack is quite good. It’s certainly heavily inspired by Alice in Wonderland, but instead of a Card Queen, we’ve got a reality warping trickster! He’s no Cheshire Cat though!
Sarah has always loved fairy tales. She often imagined herself being the heroine who would defeat the Goblin King, but a sudden rain shower completely destroyed her ambitions. Her parents decide to have a nice dinner outside so they leave Sarah to babysit her baby brother. Unfortunately, the two don’t get along very well so Sarah quickly makes a contract with the Goblin King to spirit the baby away. The plan works and the baby is gone, but Sarah quickly realizes that her situation won’t be very good if the parents discover this predicament. She must now venture into the Goblin Kingdom, destroy the kind, and save her brother. Hopefully she brought a weapon along!
Luckily, the Goblin King does have a sense of humor and doesn’t mind making the game a little fair. (As far as Sarah knows anyway) He teleports her to the kingdom so that she has a fighting chance, but Sarah must get through a long maze before sunset to rescue the baby or he will turn into a goblin. The maze is rigged with invisible exits and a lot of turns so she will have to rely on the locals to help her. However, are they really here to help or is it all just another trick? It’s time for her to find out!
You can probably already guess this, but Sarah’s not a very likable character. Babysitting is so fun when it’s just a baby since you can turn on some video games and just play for a few hours. Sarah just can’t take this level of stress though and panics just from a little crying. Sure, she saves the baby in the end, but her character just isn’t likable throughout the film and the development wasn’t enough to save her. Her dog is the true hero here as he outruns the villains and constantly gets in the way of the villains. He’d do Scooby Doo proud with his various antics! The villains know better than to mess with him.
Hoggle is Sarah’s main ally during the film. He likes to play both sides as he pretends to be working with Sarah while still in the employ of the Goblin King and vice versa. In the end, he decides to throw in his lot with Sarah and they become friends, but I can’t say that Hoggle was very good either. He’s more annoying than anything and I rarely like Goblins although maybe that can change once we get a planet busting one. Hoggle certainly betrays the whole cast a lot, but at least he’s helpful at times.
The Goblin King was probably my favorite character of the film. Only probably since the dog naturally wins if he counts. The Goblin King doesn’t play fair and he has the massive advantage against the other characters since his abilities are nigh infinite. Still, he knows how to have a good time and he even has a few dance scenes and sings a song to the baby. He throws the baby up and down a few times, but always takes care to not let him get even slightly injured. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy and just wanted more goblins to play with. The only character that he was typically antagonistic towards was Hoggle and Sarah towards the end. He’s still a villain of course, but a likable one. I also liked the design as it was quite retro.
Of course, plot hax had to ensue in the climax. After all, how could an all powerful villain lose to a teenage girl with no combat experience without some form of plot hax? Let’s just say that he underestimates her speed and determination. Yeah…that’s really all I can say on how he’s defeated. There are hundreds of ways that he could have won, but maybe he just wanted the whole game to be over at that point. Most of his henchmen had started to like the baby and Sarah anyway so he may have known that it was all a losing battle by then.
For a while though, the whole world was against Sarah. It was almost sad to see all of her tricks backfire since some were clever. One trick that Sarah had was to draw on the ground so that she could backtrack effectively, but the tiles are actually roofs for some goblins so they were promptly flipped over. Sarah tried to solve the maze by going in a straight line, but due to a reality limbo spell, the line kept moving in time along with her speed so it essentially resulted in her not going anywhere. Nothing worked because nothing could work. How do you defeat a living maze? Even with Hoggle’s help they were nearly crushed by giant boulders or simply overpowered. Along the way we met the classic 2 heads, one who can tell the truth and one who can’t. Behind one of them is a door that leads to a pit and one that leads to the castle. Turns out…they were both leading to pits. That, or they simply lied about their roles in the first place or were just trolling her with false hints.
Unlike Alice in Wonderland though, I can’t say that I cared for most of the bit players. In Alice, we had the Cat, the classic Card Soldiers, and the Queen was pretty memorable. I never cared for the guys at the tea table, but that’s another story. Here, I didn’t care for the gimmicks of the minions. We had the guys whose heads would keep rolling off and that was…interesting I guess. I didn’t care for the actual designs, but they could be nice and creepy for younger viewers. They can fight, which is always a plus and get ready for cannons that fire more lethal objects than cannon balls.
It was a rough journey, but Sarah succeeded. For a while there, it looked like the whole thing was a dream based on the ending, but I like to think that it was real. The turning point was really just seeing all of the creatures suddenly appear and start dancing in the room. Sure, she could be completely delusional, but I like to think that these guys were on the level and the fact that it got a manga sequel should help this case. It would have been even better to have seen the parents stumble into the room though as they would have been pretty shocked. It was definitely a crazy sight for the average person after all.
As essentially mentioned earlier, the soundtrack is very good. We get a lot of good tunes and you can definitely dance to them as you wait for the plot to return. The Goblin King’s magic ball was also very fascinating as it would change density from scene to scene. It would bounce and then it would be glass. The latter was something that the Goblin King probably should have watched out for. We even got some action scenes like the Village fight, which was certainly intriguing.
Overall, The Labyrinth was an interesting film. It’s old and you can feel its age so that may turn some people off, but at the same time, it’s what creates that retro feel. Behind the scenes, you can also think of it as a classic story of going from having a normal life to stopping an army of powerful villains. Every good character has to go through that gauntlet at some point or another and in theory Sarah should have become a better character as a result. I’m sure that she would probably be more likable in a sequel film. The characters do hold the film back a bit, but it’s still an enjoyable film and I would recommend checking it out as I’m sure that most of you readers have not seen this one yet.
Overall 6/10
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