Suggested by Destroyer Firefly has a gun and over the years he has gotten some other equipment as well like his energy sword and more guns. The guy is loaded but all the guns on the planet won’t be enough to stop this Kaiju. Biollante can eat all of those attacks with ease and keep on going for more action. That’s the difference between the two fighters as Firefly will lose after the first hi lands. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Destroyer Starfox has basic superhuman abilities like strength and speed so I won’t say that this match is completely one sided but at the end of the day he doesn’t really have any effective options to deal with Biollante. The kaiju can just squish him at any moment and there wouldn’t really be a whole lot that Starfox could do about it. He’s not fast enough to dodge and doesn’t have the durability to hang in there once the blows start flying. So in the end the only option here is to just take a big loss. He needs more firepower. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Destroyer Warwolf has super strength so he could try throwing a lot of good punches but it will be difficult for him to get in close. Biollante can fire off many different acid blasts and is rather huge so she can just shoot the acid off in every direction. Even a glancing blow would be really bad news for Warwolf and put him away for a while. Ultimately he doesn’t have a long range option powerful enough to tip the scales here. Biollante wins.
Suggested by Sonic It’s time for a battle of top tier heroines. Alice has exceptional defenses with her golden sword as well as top tier speed and power. Rin has a lot of magical gems at her disposal as well as superhuman speed thanks to her boosters but of course Archer is really what keeps her in the fight here. Ultimately I do think Rin should be able to handle this round. She has enough defenses to protect her from collateral damage and her servant is a little more powerful than Alice. It would be a tough fight, but one that she should win. Rin Tohsaka wins.
Suggested by Sonic Lute is a skilled fighter who knows how to push Rathalos to his absolute limits. That said, he’s not a super versatile fighter and if you knock him off of the dragon then it’s all over. Taurus has an advantage here in that he himself is very strong so Lute has to take him down without making any mistakes. I don’t think Lute and Rathalos will be fast enough to dodge his fire attacks for very long and each hit will deal a lot of damage. Taurus Fire wins.
Suggested by Sonic The toughest thing about being known as a strategist is that sometimes you don’t really get to compete with the more powerful characters in the verse. Khun has gotten some power ups over the years but never anything too crazy. His flame fish might slow Yuta down but ultimately this sorcerer has taken down way more powerful cursed spirits and the like over the years. He has the speed to dodge Khun’s defenses and has enough attack power to completely obliterate the kid. There would be no way out for Khun here. Yuta Okkotsu wins.
Suggested by Sonic Duel Sieger is a very powerful monster and one of the more powerful ones in the whole world of Buddyfight. That being said, he’s not going to quite be a match for Chaus here. Crossfusion gives Chaus access to abilities beyond any monster and his Protoman was already a super powerful ally. Duel Sieger doesn’t have the speed to keep up and will quickly be taken down for the count because his defense is not enough to survive the attacks for very long. Chaud wins.
Suggested by Sonic Gourry is a strong swordsman. While he may have trouble against the more powerful magical fighters in Slayers, you can always count on him to give it his best. He has good speed and durability as well but ultimately I would say that Ryu has the advantage in most attributes. Ryu is still faster than Gourry and has more sword techniques at his disposal so in a fight he should be landing hits more regularly. Ultimately Gourry has better equipment but it won’t be enough. Ryu Hayabusa wins.
Whenever you have a film taking place back in the olden days with witches, demons, werewolves and the like I have to assume that the film is not going to be very good. Sure that is a general plot and so you can definitely surpass that if need be but what are the odds realistically right? I doubt they are very good at least with the track record and this one is no exception. Sure there are some interesting moments and plot lines scattered around the place but ultimately the movie could not capitalize on any of them and so it failed in the end.
The film starts off by showing us how skilled Felson and Behmen are. They utterly decimate opposing armies in every fight that they are in. We see a montage of them in countless fights and it’s definitely impressive how ahead of the curve they are in the battles. Nobody can really touch them or even come close. Well one day Behmen ends up murdering an innocent civilian and he becomes disillusioned with the whole thing. He now realizes that he was merely a soldier of battle and quite the army. Felson follows him but unfortunately they are quickly captured by the same army again. Their mission is to bring a suspected witch back into custody with them to face justice at a “fair” trial. Behmen doesn’t much like this but orders are orders and trying to escape the whole army again would be tricky. The girl’s name is Anna and she seems incredibly suspicious and crafty but that doesn’t automatically make her a witch. Behmen will have to handle this carefully.
I did find part of the intro funny in how quickly the two leads were captured though. These were the kingdom’s best warriors and yet they could be brought back in so easily? Have to admit that they lost a lot of hype there. I give some credit for wanting to leave the army in the first place of course but I really didn’t think that they would be brought back so quickly. As for the mission itself, well in a way they know that this won’t be a fair trial but they aren’t the justice system so what can be done? I think just running off for a second time would have been just fine to be honest but it is what it is.
Anna is unashamedly suspicious the whole time to the point where it can definitely be real amusing. She keeps on using magic and messing with the heroes so it seems obvious that she is a witch but they can’t prove it yet. She even goes out of her way to save someone who nearly plummeted to his doom by using her super strength. Even the characters can be confused sometimes on if she is sympathetic or not. It’s just really hard to get a read on her and that’s definitely by design. For what it’s worth she was a good antagonist for this reason. She really kept the heroes sharp and always on edge. Her abilities were solid too and versatile. She had flight, mind manipulation, animal summoning/transformation, super strength, etc. Yeah that’s a lot for any human to deal with and by the end her scenes get even better in hindsight.
Unfortunately you can probably guess how the animal summoning ended up being a net negative here. We have to sit through an extended scene of the heroes destroying a bunch of dogs that she transformed into werewolves. Definitely a scene that didn’t need to be here and it really drags down the experience. At this point they should have taken her down since this also directly murdered some members of the team. You don’t exactly need a trial when the villain openly murders people in front of you right? Well, unfortunately Debelzaq the priest says you do need that so there isn’t much the heroes can do about this. Behmen ultimately stands down but the body count only continues to rise.
These are guys who don’t have a no killing code or anything like that so in light of this it just doesn’t make sense to spare her. Anna will only continue to cause more death and destruction in her wake the longer they keep her alive. It’s always hard to defeat the supernatural and this is just another example of that. Behmen and the others are completely outmatched and only plot armor is enough to help them win. It’s why I say films always need to be careful not to make their villains end up being too powerful or there’s just no way to buy into the hero ever winning. When you create an unwinnable situation that’s exactly what happens.
Ultimately I did like Behmen as a character though. He wanted to do the right thing and protect everyone. His motivations were always good and he let his actions do the talking for him like when he left the army early on. He won’t be a part of anything that is unjust and has the strongest moral center of the group. His partner Felson is solid as well but that guy’s more relaxed and will just do whatever he feels like doing. He follows Behmen since they’re friends but it’s less about the morality of it and more because that’s just what he wants to do.
The film actually has a fairly large cast of characters accompanying the main two on the trip but you will forget most of them immediately because they don’t do anything. You’ve got a guy with a tragic past, the priest who is always ready to exorcise, the comic relief maps guy, etc. They’re all just here for the body count and you know it. There is never even an attempt to start liking these guys or making them a part of the main cast. It’s just not happening and so the film treats their characters rather half heartedly.
You’ve got your share of jump scares here but the film is more action than horror. The film just likes using some strong imagery so that you can see how threatening the villains are. We get lots of zoom ins on rather deformed faces on the witch side and while the film isn’t super violent, it does have some moments here and there. The imagery can be more gross than violent at times although I suppose it depends on the scene.
I think this film could have really shined by focusing on the main two guys as they look for a battle that is worth fighting. They stop just blindly listening to orders and look for a chance to really make a difference. Having them work for the army again was a really odd move and not the one I would have chosen. From there they are back to following orders even when they have doubts and that’s what doesn’t work as well about this film. It sort of goes against their whole character choice in the beginning to do that.
Overall, I liked one of the twists at the end of the film but this one didn’t live up to its full potential. After a while it felt like this film was even trying to be the next Exorcist although it still beats those easily. Witches can make for decent villains when you focus more on their magic and the cool fantasy battles we can have but outside of that they aren’t super interesting. So when you just have Anna locked up in the cage for most of the film it takes some of the bite out of the experience. A sequel could maybe do better but lets shift the time-frame to modern day. Trust me that setting works way better.
Overall 2/10
This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version could be more negative
It’s time for one of those films about watching out for the next door neighbor. You never know who you’re going to be living next to when moving for the first time and so you always hope it’s a nice happy family. Sometimes that’s not the case though. Personally it’s rare that I really talk to or know my neighbors much at all but of course it’s a bit different in an apartment vs a house. The movie’s got an okay premise I suppose but ultimately this one’s definitely not much of a winner.
So the movie starts off with Simon and his wife Robyn getting a house and they’re looking forward to life going perfectly. Unfortunately that doesn’t quite happen as a man called Gordo appears and he claims to be Simon’s old classmate from school way back in the day. Simon doesn’t remember him at first but does afterwards and is puzzled because they weren’t friends. In the present Gordo keeps on bringing gifts and doing all kinds of favors for the main two but it quickly gets into weird territory. Simon quickly shuts this down as he’s as rude to Gordo as possible but now things have taken a turn from weird into dangerous when their pet dog goes missing. Is Gordo actually here to murder them?
Now this film is one of those titles where most of the characters are super unlikable. The only decent one here is Robyn and she’s going through a tough time with this since Simon keeps blowing up at her about Gordo now. He seems to be getting jealous quickly of the guy and is also hiding some secrets from his past. Robyn really wants him to be straight with her but when that’s not a possibility she can no longer trust him. Then Gordo can’t be trusted either because the guy is overstepping his bounds like breaking into the house while the main characters are away. No excuse is good enough for that to be warranted.
While Robyn means well I do think that she’s rather oblivious at times though. For example letting Gordo into the house while Simon isn’t there was not a great idea. Particularly since she barely knew him at all. I know you can’t be too paranoid when living out in the country since at that point you couldn’t even open up the door but she really seemed to be defenseless the whole time. At least have a can of pepper spray in your pocket. Even going for those long daily runs in the middle of nowhere every morning seemed a bit iffy. That said, at least she was polite the whole time.
Then you have Simon who immediately starts badmouthing Gordo behind his back and calling the guy names. This is before Gordo even started going too far. It’s like Simon was just being mean from the jump. Now this makes sense the more the film goes on as we see that he’s just not a good guy but it’s a good way not to root for him right away. Simon’s verbal attacks are never justified and even to the end you never feel like he has really changed as a person. He puts himself first above all else and really doesn’t give Robyn any thoughts during the climax. It’s all about him and well the guy is just a bully. There’s not much more that needs to be said than that and the guy is basically an antagonist by the end of the film.
Of course with all this said….Gordo is still a big villain here. No matter how mean to him Simon was, the guy is still terrorizing Robyn as well and kidnapping the dog was uncalled for. Fortunately nothing happened to the dog since that would have really torn the film apart but this guy loses his sympathy points real quick. I also get the feeling that he would have been messing with the main characters even if Simon did treat him well from the start. The guy was just acting very odd in a very intentional way. I believe he would have forced the confrontation at some point or another. At most Simon just sped it up but this guy was certainly looney.
We eventually learn why Gordo has this grudge against Simon and it definitely makes Simon and another character look really awful. You would just expect better and the film certainly wanted to go all out with having the gritty backstory. Fortunately there is a twist on the twist which is still awful but at least not as grim. The whole movie is really a race to the bottom between characters.
Now there is something that happens at the very end of the film which had the potential to drop this film down to a 0. Fortunately I don’t believe the “event” actually happened. To get into it too much would delve into spoilers but there are two main arguments I would say are on my side as to why this didn’t happen. The first is that this is a narrative callback to what happened in Gordo’s past. Just as something didn’t actually happen in his backstory, I would say that it didn’t in the present. It just serves as the ultimate revenge to have Simon think that this happened.
The other data point that supports me here is his last line to Robyn about how good things happen to good people. To me the only way he would use this line is to let her and the viewer know that this didn’t happen. At the end of the day his grudge was with Simon not her. He also got to hear her defending him from when he bugged the room. During the film at most he would just use her as ammo against Simon and this would be a fairly big jump from that. It’s still annoying that they didn’t definitively confirm my theory to be correct since it doesn’t take anything away from the revenge and if anything helps the movie. Keeping it even slightly ambiguous was just annoying.
Even with that the film wasn’t going to be very good though. The characters are just so unlikable between Simon and Gordo that it hurts a whole lot. Their dialogue is always pretty bad and in general the writing wasn’t very good here. At least the ending offers a tiny glimmer of hope for Robyn but even then it’s not the super happy ending you were waiting for. We got a few jump scares here and there but it’s not like this film is particularly scary either. The cops excuse for not going after Gordo felt rather weak though since it seems like it was really easy to find the guy.
Overall, The Gift just isn’t a very pleasant movie at the end of the day. Bad things keep happening to the characters and while Simon deserves it, you just feel bad for Robyn. At least she did take a stand by the end and I appreciate that. I also appreciate that the film didn’t do anything bad to the dog since that would have really been awful. You’re still just not going to have a very good time with this film. It delivers on having a ton of twists but for the evil neighbor angle it’s probably more effective to actually have the main characters be likable rather than doubling down and having both sides be antagonistic.
Overall 3/10
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