Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters Review

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Kid Icarus may have had an amazing 3DS game but before that he had rather humble beginnings with the earlier titles. This one is a pretty interesting game to play after the big 3DS adventure. It ends up being a fun title even if parts of it are certainly dated. That’s just going to be the reality for any Game Boy game but I had a good time with it. I can’t imagine how kids would have beaten the bosses back in the day though.

The story starts off with Pit needing to go find the 3 Legendary Treasures. With them he will be able to protect Palutena but standing in his way are an army of powerful monsters. It certainly won’t be easy to defeat them all but Pit is prepared to do what he has to in order to win. As the player you better have some good stamina as well because let me tell you, these boss battles are really long! You can expect each one to take close to 20 minutes.

The game is longer than you’d expect as a result although you’ll still clear it in under 3 hours. The levels themselves are easy, it’s just those boss fights which really take things to the next level. Part of why they take so long is each of the bosses like to fly around the levels like crazy with super speed. As soon as you think you’ve caught up, they dash away again. So you have to try and get in a few blows each time as quickly as you can and then rinse/repeat.

It’s a rather brutal cycle all things considered. The boss fights are creative but they definitely could have been improved with a little less movement. The actual levels tend to be more straight forward on the platforming side. You have your arrows to blast away at enemies with and you can jump around. You can use power ups to fly as well and then in the final level you unlock the ability to fly for real. I can see why they wouldn’t have added that power from the beginning though as it would have been pretty overpowered.

There was one level where I actually got lost for a few moments. To counter your ability to flight, they added a bunch of blocks in the air and you have to go through a specific path in order to avoid them all. So it’s kind of like one of those hedge mazes. I eventually got out, but let me tell you it was definitely not easy. I also died tons of times during the game with how fast the minions run around. The difficulty level is quite high here, more than what I would have initially expected from Nintendo. Clearly the Nintendo of old was a force to be reckoned with.

Usually my advice would be to go very slow and navigate your way around the obstacles but that’s probably not going to work very well for you here. You will get punished for not moving since several of the enemies infinitely respawn and move with a whole lot of speed. Instead you are going to really want to stay one step ahead of the competition and actively look for hiding spots. Find a place that is easy to defend while you think of where to go next. Alternately, pausing is actually a good strategy here to give yourself time to think.

The graphics are all green because of the Gameboy but overall I would say it looked good. The character sprites are all solid and have a lot of expressions going for them. The soundtrack is also decent even if it doesn’t have a lot of the energy that the 3DS Kid Icarus game had. This one still gets the job done when the chips are down. The length isn’t all that extensive for the game but considering the era I would say it did well enough for itself.

Overall, Kid Icarus is a reasonably fun game. The boss fights are a bit more exaggerated than they should be but you can still feel the solid fundamentals of the game. The gameplay itself is handled well and this is a title that had a lot of care put into every aspect. I suppose if you played the levels enough times then you would eventually be able to push through but yeah it’s not a relaxing experience. With this I am one step closer to playing all of the Nintendo origin games. So if you have the Switch Online then you should check this game out. There isn’t a whole lot to it, but the game did help to set the stage for future Nintendo titles and it’s not every day that you get to fly in a platformer. Even if it is only for a brief portion of the game.

Overall 6/10

Tekken 8 Update

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I’ve finally got the Platinum trophy in Tekken 8! It was quite the long journey so it feels good to have made it all the way. Those online trophies in particular can be really rough since you have to rely on factors other than yourself. Still, it all worked out in the end so that’s the important part. Will see which Platinum makes it next!

Battletoads Review

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It’s time for another Battletoads title. This time it’s the original although it’s so similar to others that I’ve played where they may as well be the same game. Right up to the detail that the one crazy level in the game involves a chase. It took me a ton of tries to get through this and that is with the rewind. Without it, this would feel like an impossible challenge if you ask me.

The basic plot is that the Battletoads have to fight off an evil villainess. She wants to destroy them all and so they make their way to her homebase. Along the way they will have to fight various mechs and other creatures that stand in their way. Not an easy task by any means but they aren’t called the “Battle” Toads for nothing. They know how to throw a mean punch and are quite resilient.

The gameplay is essentially a 2D brawler as you punch your way through a number of obstacles. The gameplay can vary though as you will also have a level where you are in a car running away from the enemies as well as a level where you have to race to the bottom. I can give the game credit here, a good amount of development went into it. That was no easy stretch. That said, I absolutely preferred the traditional levels to the other ones.

It was nice being able to punch the various enemies around and the racing levels took away from that. The platforming was also not half bad. The difficulty in these levels was solid without being completely over the top. Meanwhile the soundtrack wasn’t bad either. It was solid even if it wasn’t the most memorable thing that I’ve ever heard. The tunes suited the game well and the graphics were also better than you may have expected. Unfortunately the game boy did mean that the colors were all green so the whole thing gets more washed out than it should have been otherwise.

The music did more of the carrying here. Like I mentioned, the difficulty wasn’t always good though. The race is really impractical with how tight the turns are. Being even a fraction of a second off is too much and that’s particularly unfortunate. There should have also been checkpoints here. Now a lot of older games do have these issues as well but they were particularly pronounced in Battletoads. You really just can’t catch a break in this one. There are other tough levels too but I dare say that this single level is what kept it from being a 6.

I would still like to see a 3D Battletoads someday though. I feel like there is a whole lot of potential thee and it would really be fitting for how combat heavy they can be. It would be a way to keep in the punching and combos for a modern audience. This would also scale the difficulty back a little bit which would be a good idea. Ideally we will also get more of a plot in a newer game. The older ones get some slack for being on a much older console but that’s not really something you can say for a new title.

The game isn’t particularly long with only around 12 levels in it but the difficulty does mean that this will take some time. I’d estimate it may take you around 2-3 hours to complete this one. So that’s not terribly short for its time. There isn’t any true replay value as beating the game causes it to loop. I suppose you could try to beat the game quicker each time but that’s stretching things a bit. There are plenty of games without much replay value and it’s not necessarily a bad thing although I do think it will immediately put you at a disadvantage.

Overall, This is not a game I would really be tempted to replay. It’s not bad, there was clear effort here and the game lives up to its reputation of being crazy difficult. I would just say in the end that it was not enough to make this game one that really jumps out at you. The difficulty manifests in really annoying ways as opposed to making you want to keep playing the game over and over. That’s what keeps it from being one of the heavy hitters here. If you have the Switch Online then you should check it out but otherwise I would say to pass on this one.

Overall 5/10

The Legend of Zorro Review

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When you watch a Zorro film, ordinarily you’re expecting the hero to look pretty good. Unfortunately that is not the case here as Zorro has his worst film appearance yet. The film itself isn’t bad but yeah it’s going to be a bit hard to get around that and the romance is absolutely abysmal here. Definitely one of the worst romances you will have seen in quite a while here. None of the characters look even remotely decent by the end of it.

The story starts with Zorro taking names and saving the day as per usual. Unfortunately his wife Elena is not happy with how much time Zorro spends away from the family. So they end up divorcing and Zorro gets super depressed. Fast forward to some time later and Elena has quickly rebounded with the wealthy Armand. She can now live a life of luxury with a man who will devote all of his time to her. Zorro is very jealous about this but it’s hard to defeat this guy. Zorro has become a bit of a drunk and Armand seems to be good at everything. Hopefully Armand turns out to be evil or something…or Zorro might be doomed.

I should also mention that Zorro and Elena had a kid which makes the divorce that much worse. The kid gets quite a bit of screentime and tends to be rather annoying. You have to try and watch his scenes as though the film is a complete comedy like his opening action scene where he defeats his teacher in a fencing battle. He straight up takes down a full adult and it’s meant to be real impressive. It’s more of a groanworthy scene. The fact that the kid can fight automatically makes him better than the average kid but he didn’t really need to be here.

Outside of the opening action scene which is admittedly very solid, don’t expect much from Zorro either here. The whole middle part of the film is him making a fool out of himself. Getting dunked on by Armand, allowing himself to be the butt of the joke like in the maid scene, and generally just looking very petty. He didn’t really give Elena any good reasons to go back to him. We finally get some fun Zorro action in the climax and even Elena gets a fight but it feels really late for that.

Part of the problem here is that the film has a number of plot twists to unveil but you immediately know that none of them are going to salvage Zorro’s character. Even if he doesn’t exactly know how things escalated with him and Elen so much, he should have been the bigger man and done some digging. Confront her and get to the bottom of the issue/find out if the problem is really that he is Zorro. As for Elena, the twists don’t help her at all. Lets just say it involves blackmail and then she has plans of her own but none of them really excuse her deciding to just leave Zorro in the dark.

In a perfect world they could have been teaming up the whole time. There would need to be significant changes to the plan of course but it could have worked and made both of them look good. Instead they just look really bad and Armand ends up looking a lot better. There’s a particularly embarrassing scene where Zorro is hiding behind some vegetables and thinks he has an opening so he walks over to Elena. Naturally he was not subtle and Armand caught him.

You’re going to be cringing really hard on Zorro’s behalf here. It’s crazy character assassination and I don’t think I need to go into detail on why this makes the romance really bad. Zorro and Elena’s bond was apparently weaker than you ever could have imagined for this whole story to take place. I also think to an extent the whole romance drama was added because the main plot wasn’t going to be enough to hold people’s attention. You have some drama over the states and the civil war approaching but it’s all rather boring. The villains are fairly generic and the plot just doesn’t have much life to it.

So I don’t blame the movie for putting the romance as the main focus but it absolutely could have given the characters some more dignity in the process. The film’s fight scenes are good enough where you feel like the movie should have leaned into that a whole lot more. With all of the big fight scenes this could have been an absolutely great film. Maybe actually build up to Zorro being too obsessive with sopping criminals to make Elena’s problem appear to be more valid. It’s always going to be a tough sell because he is saving lives throughout but it can be done. Maybe he starts to go too far or something.

As for the villains, well you’ve got a classic heel with Armand here. Whether he ends up being evil or not, play him up as the big antagonist. Someone who is a total jerk and taking everything that Zorro wants but without giving Zorro a way to take him down. He keeps his hands clean on the surface which makes Zorro more and more frustrated. The building blocks were all there to make this a really fun film. Then just write the kid out and you’re really all set.

Overall, The Legend of Zorro is a film that is fun to watch but you can definitely tell that it should have been a lot better. At times it does aim a little too young and goes with the easy jokes. The pacing is good though and the movie does feel like it really flies by. So you can see that there was a lot of effort put into this one, the priorities just weren’t always where they should have been. I’d still recommend checking the movie out but if you really like Zorro as a character…be warned that his appearance here is a bit diferent.

Overall 6/10

Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation Review

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It’s been a while since I’ve seen an animation downgrade as drastic as the one that occurred between the Street Fighter II movie and this one. It’s like the series lost all of its aura. This film is worse by every metric across the board. It’s not a bad movie but it almost felt like the movie was actively trying to mess up as the fights keep getting interrupted or being extra short. Ryu’s character arc quickly gets repetitive which is impressive considering this is a single movie.

Ryu has continued to train hard in the ways of Street Fighting when a kid named Shun appears and claims to be Ryu’s brother. This is lightly possible as Ryu didn’t get a chance to really know his family but either way it doesn’t atter much to Ryu. He will get long with the kid and doesn’t mind being called brother. Unfortunately Shun appears to have similar issues mastering the Dark Hadou and is then kidnapped by a group of fighters working for the evil Shadaloo organization. Ryu will have to save him but can he do this while also fighting off his own dark impulses?

A hero fighting against his dark powers is certainly nothing new but this is one of the most annoying ways to handle the trope. Ryu falls to his knees yelling about the powers of darkness at least 5 times. He can never seem to control it for long and it is easy for the villains to bait him into using it. I’m not saying that he should have mastered it immediately but I would have liked to have seen some progress. Instead it feels like he just walks back and forth with it throughout the movie and never gets better. Only at the very end of the film does it feel like he made true progress.

It just took too long and he spends a lot of the film getting wrecked. At least he is allowed to get some wins though. If you’re a side character then prepare to get majorly disrespected. Ken looks really bad in this one and just racks up nonstop losses. He should at least be close to Ryu in skill but it sure doesn’t feel like that when he loses over and over again. Then you have Chun Li who also loses really badly in her fights. The film seems to just be using her as occasional fanservice here rather than as a serious fighter which is unfortunate.

It is partially in how they write the big villains though. The main villain is so overpowered that the other characters just don’t stand a chance. They are absolutely thrown around by Rosanov who may be strong but makes for a bit of a boring villain. Still, I like having a strong villain so this ends up more or less evening out. I think the biggest problem here is still the fact that the power discrepancy is so drastic.

It’s not even a fun fight because it’s just the villain basically tormenting everyone. Then Ryu comes in with his super blast. When you watch a film like Street Fighter you are hoping for a bunch of fast paced hand to hand fights. Not a quick beam blast after some hand to hand. In a way the Zangief fight is the closest thing to an old school battle and even then they had to make his opponent Shun so it’s not like this felt like a very serious battle.

As for the animation, part of the problem is a lack of big fight scenes. So perhaps it would have looked better if there was more action. The character designs are a big step down either way though and the colors are a lot more faded. Again, it’s not what you would have expected from a more modern adventure like this. Definitely not for one of the biggest fighting game series of all time. The soundtrack is also not particularly solid.

Okay so that’s a lot of negatives, what about the positives? Well, I do still like the Street Fighter brand so there is a certain amount of satisfaction in just seeing Ryu and the others mixing it up. The fights while short, are still around so I get my share of action as well. The film avoids making any big mistakes as well so this is more a case of missed opportunities than actually being a disaster.

They probably could have toned down the beatings a little bit and instead added more of a back and forth to the fights. Some characters like the fortune teller Rose should have had a bigger role rather than just showing up with veiled prophecies. Give the film more of a direct story as well with the tournament being on screen. Too much time is spent on Shun and the mystery of his origin.

For a film like this, you don’t really care about the OC character. You want to see the characters you grew up with, that’s always going to be far more entertaining. So cutting him out would be a good idea. Finally, you should also speed up the pacing because this one was absolutely glacial. It felt like nothing was happening for a good chunk of the film. Speeding that up would have had a positive effect across the board.

Overall, Street Fighter Alpha really did not make the most out of its opportunities. This should have been a really fun film but instead it doesn’t embrace the kind of fast paced energy we saw in Street Fighter II. It doesn’t have a ton of replay value but if you’re looking for an action film, I could still recommend it. For all its faults, I still did have a good time over here. You just have to keep in mind that it is nowhere near as intense as the Street Fighter II film. Ideally you should watch this one first so then you can end with the hype of the original.

Overall 6/10

Dragon Ball Heroes: Victory Mission Review

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This is definitely a very different kind of Dragon Ball manga. It follows the adventures of a bunch of kids who have read the old DBZ stories and just want to have fun with their arcade machine. What they do not realize is that these adventures are more real than expected. The series ends rather quickly with there only being 30 chapters and the first half of the series is comprised of 5 page chapters.

The story enters around a kid named Beet who is rather good at Dragon Ball Heroes. He’s been training under Sora for a long while and is finally ready to start entering tournaments professionally. He gets to go up against some of the greatest players in the world. The best part? Beet is actually holding his own! Unfortunately the tournament is interrupted when a mad scientist activates the dragon balls and accidentally summons the 7 Shadow Dragons. Beet and the other tournament contestants will have to destroy them, using their temporary super powers thanks to their forms within the game. This won’t be easy but Beet is not the kind of guy to give up without a fight!

It’s always an interesting twist to make it so that the DBZ characters are actually real. That being said, I do think the writing could be a little weak at times. For example, Beet has been playing this game for a long time and knows various characters across the mythos. How does he not immediately recognize characters like SSJ4 Broly and Baby from GT? There are a few times where it just feels like shock value that wasn’t taking the context into consideration.

Additionally, it can be a little cheesy that Beet doesn’t know a lot of the rules or players within the game and yet he is already a top 5 fighter in the world. I guess you can make the argument for natural talent but that can really only account for so much. I would have not escalated the stakes to being that of a global tournament so quickly. I get that the pacing had to be fast but Beet’s wins didn’t always feel earned. He’s a nice guy and all but you need some strategy.

It’s why I was able to root for Note a whole lot more. She is someone who has lived her whole life with studying the decks and getting a proper strategy in. It’s easy to see how she has found a whole lot of success here. Despite that, Beet surpasses her almost immediately. I was glad that Note still got a big fight at the end of the series along with her rival though.

She certainly did more than the mentor Sora who just dips when the going gets tough. It’s implied that he had to head off to stop some other threats but it’s still a rough look to see him leave all of the kids alone to deal with evil monsters that are trying to murder them. It’s made clear that if you die in the game, you die in real life. So these stakes are really quite real and the kids may be familiar with the video game, but their combat experience is minimal.

Also the series does have an ultra rushed ending here. We don’t get to see the final fight and then there is a giant time skip that comes out of nowhere. Not the ideal way to end the series so the climax is really weak but at least before that it’s just a bunch of nonstop fights. Pretty much every chapter has a bunch of action going on so that’s fun. Even if the various DB characters are soulless avatars, it was also nice to see all of them mixing it up.

The side characters probably take the brunt of the damage from the series being so short. It feels like the author had clear character personalities and dynamics in mind for all of them but they just don’t have a chance to do a whole lot. I still liked them for what it’s worth. Note’s rival was definitely a worthy foe who was always ready. Then you have the #1 fighter in the world who is very calm and does his research on everyone. He ended up being a super strong opponent.

That guy has his own rival who is rather strong as well. Then you have the Main kid who is super timid and doubtful of himself but gradually learns to get past all of that. Even the Shadow Dragons get little moments here and there. So as long as you’re mainly reading the series for the vibes and action, then you should absolutely walk away satisfied.

The artwork is really good, the fights definitely stand out. The character models are always on point and there is a good amount of variety here. It’s always easy to understand what is going on as well so the artwork certainly didn’t feel rushed. On the whole I would say that the series didn’t really have any technical issues here. If they ever revived this series for more of a longform adaption, I would definitely be on board. With the references to the Supreme King of Time, you could easily have this merge into the more traditional Heroes stories. Have Beet and Note actually team up with the real Goku and friends like in the animated trailers.


Overall, This was a pretty fun manga. It does end up feeling incomplete because of how much progress it had to go through and how quickly this had to happen. A whole lot feels like it was skipped over and this should have been a proper 7 volume series. You could have really gotten a whole lot of adventures in it if that had been the case. I would still recommend checking this one out though. The artwork is solid and I did enjoy the action scenes. The DB Heroes game always seemed like it would be a whole lot of fun and I definitely enjoyed playing the console port on the Switch.

Overall 6/10

The Berenstain Bears Meet Bigpaw Review

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It’s time for the next Berenstain Bears adventure. This time the gang is going up against a very powerful threat but violence may not be the answer. The family will have to reflect on what it means to be a family before the town makes a decisive move. It’s a fun enough special that goes by quickly. Bigpaw also ends up being a solid new character.

The special starts with Papa Bear taking the kids to go get supplies for the Thanksgiving feast. Mama Bear gives him some warnings about how Bigpaw will be showing up thanks to a fortune that she did with some honey. Papa reminds Mama that it’s all a bunch of hogwash and he is proudly determined to prove this. He continues to plunge forward but when Bigpaw shows up, Papa figures he has to lead the charge against him.

I’ll give the town credit here for banding everyone together to take him down. I figured they would be too scared to do anything but when the chips were down, they were prepared. Naturally this is not that kind of special so we don’t get to the fight but it did help Papa’s rep as well since he was leading the charge. He was going to do what was necessary to protect his family.

Papa is always portrayed as having minimal intelligence and not being the kind of guy who thinks before he acts. That always puts him in really tough situations but at least he doesn’t give up which is the important thing. The kids also do their best and help to keep everyone from fighting but they got really lucky here. They definitely did not have their guard up at all.

As for Bigpaw, I liked his overall confidence. It’s clear that nobody was going to be taking him down easily. He may not have been totally looking for a fight this time but based on the fact that there are whole legends about him, I’m guessing that he has been in his share of battles. So everyone being afraid of him does make a lot of sense.

Mama Bear ends up being correct in hindsight but I do think that she didn’t really take the threat seriously enough here. If Bigpaw had turned out to be a bad apple, she would not have been prepared to stop him. She certainly hadn’t trained for this moment and that’s a big problem. There is a fine line between avoiding conflict and being a total pacifist. You want to be careful not to cross that line or you end up creating a bunch of trouble for everyone.

I like how the characters continue to talk in rhymes. That has been a fun dynamic to the series. The songs could use a lot of work though. As a whole the writing is good and this is something you could easily let your kids watch without any real doubts. Then you have the animation which has aged rather well. I like this traditional style which isn’t going for anything fancy but does end up looking real smooth.

The special is fairly short so it will be over before you know it. As a result there isn’t a whole lot that can happen but I’d still say it’s worth the watch. As long as you enjoy the bears and their adventures then this will be another fun one to add to the pile. There also aren’t a ton of Thanksgiving titles out there so you want to savor the ones that you do get. It’s a shame that they don’t make too many Berenstain products in the present at this point. It really could have been an Arthur level hit if they really tried.

Overall, This was a fun special. I wouldn’t say it super stands out or anything like that but it is a wholesome story with a good moral at the end. Don’t judge on appearances and always be ready with a peaceful alternative. So you can’t really go wrong with that but I admit that an action packed climax would still have been a lot of fun. I don’t think the bears would have beaten Bigpaw even with their numbers though. Not when he had the high ground and everything. His opening attack looked like it would have wiped out around half of their army at once.

Overall 6/10

Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos Review

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This is easily one of the toughest games that I’ve ever played. It’s clear that this is the kind of game that would take many, many hours in order to really master. My hat’s off to anyone who actually beat this one without any rewinding or anything like that. It feels like a near impossible task to me and I like to think that I’m pretty good at platformers. This one will absolutely take you to the edge and back. By the time you conquer it, the title will have either driven you mad or you will have high respect for it.

The game follows Ryu as he ends up going on his toughest journey yet. His friend Irene is kidnapped by a mysterious demon lord and a special agent with a gun warns Ryu that there is something extra dangerous about this mission. Ryu isn’t going up against mere ninja this time, but instead he will be fighting demons and deities. Fortunately Ryu isn’t the kind of guy to ever back down from a fight.

You may be surprised at just how cosmic the game gets. It really isn’t afraid to have Ryu go up against foes that are out of this world. This may as well be a full on sci-fi title. The core gameplay is the same as always though. It’s a 2D platformer where you have to slice away at your opponents as you gradually gain ground to the end of the level. You can avoid enemies but often times that may wind up getting you taken out. The villains also respawn almost immediately if you retreat and then go forward.

The combat itself is fairly straight forward. You have a sword and can slice right in front of you, you can also crouch and hit enemies who are trying to go low. You have a basic jump and can climb up on walls. There is also a whole item system but it really confused me so I didn’t invest much time in it. Basically there are tons of bubbles in the air throughout the level and when you slice them, a power up falls out. Sometimes it will summon an energy clone, other times it will let you shoot out fireballs. Each power up has a symbol but there are so many of them that it is really hard to keep track. You will quickly be overwhelmed unless you really take a lot of time to test them all out.

I decided to just plunge ahead. The bosses are all incredibly difficult but the final boss is in a league of his own. He has multiple phases, each one more deadly than the last. If you want to take them all down, it is not going to be an easy adventure for you. The one thing keeping you going will be the story itself which is really impressive. I would even say that the technicals around the board are super impressive here as it doesn’t look or feel like an NES title. It’s all about a generation above that.

The graphics have aged really well for starters. The colors are striking and the backgrounds are really good. The soundtrack is also better than it ought to be. The game has actual cutscenes and quite a lot of them as you get near the end of the game. So what you’ve got here is a very compelling title but I imagine most people did not make it to the end because of how punishing the game is. You essentially have to be frame perfect a lot of the time and a few good mistakes will completely take you out of the fight. There isn’t an easy checkpoint system here either so you will be seriously sent back if you end up losing.

It’s a little too brutal for my liking. I enjoy a difficult game to a degree but it does need to have quality of life features. I never want to be sent too far back and I like for there to be a way to get stronger. You at least need one or the other and this one doesn’t really have either of those. So without the Switch Online, I don’t really expect this is a game that I would have devoted a whole lot of time to.

Still, if you have the Switch Online then it makes for a perfect chance to play this one. One tip I will give is that the final boss has so much health that it can’t fit on screen. So you must keep on attacking. It may feel like you are not dealing any damage, but you actually are. You have to attack for several minutes before you can see the health go down and then from there you are set. I still expect you will die hundreds of times during this experience though.

Overall, Ninja Gaiden II is a really impressive game. It is obvious that a whole lot of care and detail was put into this game. You will get an enormous sense of satisfaction if you can beat the game without rewinding but you will definitely have to put a lot of heart into it. It’s not my favorite title but I can definitely say that the gameplay is smooth. It’s a fun ride even if it goes too far in being as unrelenting as possible.

Overall 6/10

Retribution Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for what I would consider to be a very simple thriller film. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns in this one outside of the ending. It’s all about a simple threat that is tough to shake and how the main character has to deal with it. The whole film essentially takes place inside a car so the film has to try and write around this. I’d say it does a pretty good job all things considered.

The film starts off by introducing us to Matt who leads a rather stressful life. He encourages clients to use his company for stock trading and then has to convince them to hang on even when they start to go into the red. It’s not an easy job by any means since nobody can completely predict the stock market. Additionally, this does affect people’s lives. You can lose millions of dollars in an instant if you are not careful….or even if you are careful. Well, one day he is driving his two kids over to school when someone calls and explains that he has put bombs under each of the seats. None of them can leave now and they must continue driving until this mysterious villain is satisfied. What demands will he make?

It’s a tough situation to get out of since it seems like death will be inevitable. Somehow the villain is able to watch them inside of the car and it could literally be anybody. There is no easy way to call his bluff on this without risking the two kids in the car. If Matt was by himself then perhaps he actually would try something like that but it’s just too reckless in this situation. So yeah the villain had a pretty good strategy at play here.

Now to address the elephant in the room, the kids are both pretty annoying. It takes them an incredibly long time to lock in here. While Matt wasn’t telling them what was going on for a while, I feel like they could have picked up on the context clues. It’s clear that something was going on after all so they should have been on their best behavior. By the end they were doing their best to defend Matt but it was a little late in the day for that. Meanwhile Matt can’t expect too much help from his wife in this one as we have some marital issues going on here.

That subplot didn’t really seem to be necessary. I feel like the deck was stacked against Matt enough in this film so it’s not like this was going to really change things. Still, I was glad she was still ready to help the kids and wasn’t letting them get hit in the crossfire. In a way, Matt having to watch the kids actually changed the villain’s plans somewhat.

One of the best scenes in the film is when the villain finally makes his appearance and delivers a grand speech. I have a big weakness for smug speeches like that where the villain just goes into detail on how completely he has won. There’s something really satisfying about it. The villain played his role well, even stressing Matt out with what I would consider to be some empty bluffs.

The villain was aided by the FBI here as their main fighter wasn’t the smartest. She seems to be absolutely determined to prove that Matt was the mastermind here even when it started to become apparent that this wasn’t the case. She was far too stubborn and that is not really becoming for someone in her position. It feels like there should have been many ways to verify Matt’s story or at least find some evidence. She just wasn’t giving him a single inch even when there were a lot of lives at stake. As a result, Matt really had to act on his own the whole time.

So how does the film stay interesting when it’s just Matt driving around the whole time? Well, that’s where the writing/mystery comes in handy. You’re wondering how Matt will be able to find anything out the whole time. He is starting this round out at such a massive disadvantage after all, it’s not easy to bridge that kind of distance. If there was no mystery then this may have faltered but the car angle just worked really well.

It would have been nice to have gotten a proper fight scene at the end of the film though. It wasn’t really that kind of film but it would have been the real cherry on top for the entertainment value. The final action scene still worked well though. Also the film has a fairly light tone even when serious stuff is going on. That works well for letting you just have fun with this. The first victim for example is so crazy that the scene isn’t as dark as it normally would be.

She is clearly told that there is a bomb in the car and it will blow up if she tries to get out. Despite this, she is trying for several minutes to busy the door down and run while her boyfriend tries to hold her back. Ultimately he isn’t able to do this and they blow up. Then you have another guy begging with Matt to let him live while ignoring the fact that Matt is on a phone and clearly taking orders. I mean, Matt could have absolutely been a lot more clear about the situation. Maybe he thought it would be too risky but he did let everyone think he was the villain when he didn’t really need to. This made his journey really tough in the end. So there’s technically a lot of sadness within the film but the tone rarely gets around to reflecting that.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s certainly nothing grand, the plot is straight forward and uncomplicated. That said, the pacing is good and the writing works well enough. I didn’t think the movie had any glaring weaknesses and it has a good amount of replay value. I’d definitely recommend checking it out whenever you have a chance. I think you will end up liking it more than you would have expected.

Overall 7/10

Prince of Darkness Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those really spooky titles. With something called “Prince of Darkness” you already know that you’re not exactly in for your normal film experience. This one dips into sci-fi as well as the horror genre so that really makes this an unforgettable experience. The movie gets serious props for managing to get a really intense atmosphere within the film but also does tend to go a little too far with all the gross imagery and violence. At the end of the day I would call it an elevated slasher but make no mistake, everyone is being taken down.

The film has a professor bring along his most talented students to a church for some kind of project. They’re going to be here for days so they have their own beds and everything. They all specialize in different kinds of science so whatever is going on here has to be really massive. They are all being kept in the dark on what is going on here. See, it turns out that in this world, the Devil is actually an alien that has been trapped underneath the Church. Unfortunately he is slowly breaking past the seal and if he escapes, the whole planet is lost.

Honestly they should have told the students this from the start or at least a similar story to get them motivated. It’s not like most of them would have believed that anyway right? It would have at least given them some urgency though as they are initially really chill about the whole thing. Since they are each experts of their field, it probably would have helped them to target more specific solutions as well.

As the film goes on, we see how slowly the situation is getting worse and worse all around. The Church begins to get surrounded by the homeless who all seem to be affected by the evil influence. The Devil is able to shoot out his energy whenever he wants and mind controls people too. So even though he was technically still sealed for most of the film, it seemed to be because he was allowing it. He takes over the computers and begins to start hunting the humans in earnest later on.

That felt like cheating the premise a bit here. You’d think that the humans are at least safe until they run out of time or the container breaks. Letting the villain be able to bust through that just made the situation even more unwinnable. Now based on the cryptic dreams of the future, it may not have mattered but you should at least afford the heroes some hope.

I will say that the main characters do act like classic horror characters in the sense that they do not make the smart decisions even when their lives are on the line. Forget the evil supernatural stuff for a minute. You’re in a rather rough neighborhood, why go outside after dark into the back alley? I think he was going for a smoke or something but naturally he is surrounded and then murdered. The people who got destroyed by their mind controlled colleagues get a little mercy from me because that’s not something you could really predict.

Going outside like that was not smart though even if the whole thing is tragic. Then you have the priest who is someone you can pile a lot of the blame on. He is putting the characters in a really rough situation without proper context so they have to figure it all out slowly. Even when he sees all the signs that they are running out of time, he mainly just panics. By the end he finally has his moment in the final hour. So he ends strong but it would have been nice if he had a better role in the first half. Perhaps he could have helped with some supernatural support right? Although his faith was clearly shaken from the start.

The movie has a lot of weird visuals the whole time like a pigeon being crucified and different people melting into worms and shooting up ooze. So needless to say, it’s the kind of film that could make you a bit queasy. It’s also traditionally violent at times but the bigger focus is definitely on the weird elements here. You could really cut all of those out and that would make the film work better.

There’s also that sense of claustrophobia here as the heroes technically are in a big building but have no way to get out because of the sheer number of enemies outside. When the enemies want to get in, there will be nothing to stop them. Then with each member of the research crew starting to go bad, even the indoors is no longer safe. I have to give the film a lot of credit for how big the main cast was. You even start to lost track of some of them after a while which is intentional because even within the film that happens to a few of them. When someone is gone for a while you have to wonder if something might have happened to them. That slow feeling of dread works really well.

If the film had just stuck to that instead of going more for the edge then it would have worked out a whole lot better. Perhaps the approach of trying to create that authentic evil atmosphere is ultimately what really backfired here. I think it would have been interesting if the film had delved a little more into the ramifications of the devil being an alien too. There is a good amount of dialogue and pondering in general but not usually on that angle. The writing is solid though so the film will hold your interest the whole time.

Overall, Prince of Darkness is a really intense film to be sure but it’s not one that I would recommend. It gets a little too grisly as the film goes on and the heroes were never given a proper fighting chance here. If anything it felt like they were being toyed with and depending on how you interpret the ending, there was never going to be a path to victory. So it makes for an intense watch but one that ultimately ends up feeling futile. I’d like to see another try at this one with the characters gradually vanishing or being pit against each other but without the devil actually being able to control them. As long as the seal holds, his main weapons should all be that of trickery and manipulation. Any direct action just widens the gap way too much.

Overall 2/10