
Nothing like an old game to remind me just how lucky I am that I grew up in the modern age of gaming. I am reminded quite often how I probably wouldn’t have been a huge gamer if I grew up way back in the day. Or at the very least, I would have really stuck to a select few franchises and called it a day. Yeah, game boy color isn’t actually that old but I would have been so sad if I had spent any money to play this game. How are you going to make a Metroidvania style game without a functioning map? Why would you ever do this? I can see why people love Castlevania and Metroid because they slaughter the copycats. I really like the modern Blaster Master games but the old ones are clearly not ready for the gaming world.
There’s not much of a plot here but the intro says something about bashing up the monsters. So the core gameplay is about navigating through a massive maze in your tank. There are 8 massive areas, each one has 3-4 other areas inside it and then there are portals that lead you across the areas. They are not sequential so don’t even think about going from area 7 to 8. No sirrrrrrr! You have to go from 7 back to 5 back to 4 back to 2, to then go to 8. You are constantly back tracking and running across the screens but the worst part is that there is no quick travel. Yes, a staple that both Metroid and Castlevania had for years is not present here. They also had maps while this game does not.
I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not the biggest fan of Metroidvania games but at least those knew what they were doing. This game? Yeah it has absolutely no clue what to do. There is no indicator of what you need to get either or what is in the area. If I wasn’t using an online guide, I wouldn’t know to go take down the boss or even which areas had one. Then some areas have 1-2 keys you have to find so if you don’t have that then you’re toast. Good luck finding it too. Some areas have close to 20-30 rooms and each room has multiple exits and is absolutely massive. Without a proper map you will end up spinning your wheels and going in circles constantly.
I ended up going backwards by mistake more than a few times. We haven’t even gotten into the weapons yet. You need certain upgrades in order to proceed so if you forgot that then you better find the room that has it. There is a ton of trial and error here which is not easy. It’s not always obvious that you are missing a power up either so hopefully your intuition is on point. Then we have the boss fights….oh boyyyyyy. Most games show you a health bar or at least have the villain flash when you attack so you know which attacks are working and which aren’t right? Yeah….there’s none of that here.
You just have to hope you are attacking the right point and you never know if you are making progress or not until the villain loses. That is absolutely insane! You can see how this makes no sense right? Every indie game has some kind of indicator and if they can do that without a budget then this game should absolutely be able to pull it off. It makes the boss fights extremely annoying because they just don’t end.
Also, the game is crazy hard. I don’t even know what counts as a save point but I assume that it would take you back to the start of the area or something. I’d have died hundreds of times in the levels because it is extremely hard to dodge any of the attacks and there are so many of them. One of the levels near the end is also like something out of Super Meat Boy as there are spikes everywhere. You have to jump absolutely perfectly or you will get hit by them. It’s an extremely tedious section which took me many tries because then you also have the enemies trying to attack you and they keep on respawning.
There really aren’t many positives to say about the game. I suppose the graphics aren’t terrible. Most of the areas look almost identical in order to intentionally mislead you so you do have to get around that. It’s not the worst thing though. The weapons aren’t always clear but I suppose I don’t have any other problems. The soundtrack is definitely forgettable though. You do have a lot of replay value here though because it’ll take you ages to beat the game. It’ll be so long that you will have forgotten the intro and can play it again. I mean I couldn’t picture picking it up again, but I’m sure the game has its fans. It is definitely a lot longer than you would expect.
Overall, Blaster Master is one of those games that makes you shake your head. I feel bad for any kid who started with this as their first title because that would be absolutely traumatizing. Would you even be ready to pick up another game after this one? It forgot the most important part of being a video game which is that it’s supposed to be fun. The most fun you will have with the game is the first 20 minutes and then it’s all downhill from there. It needed dozens of quality of life updates before this game would really be ready for the Metroidvania treatment and even then I would be super cautious. But remember, you shouldn’t ditch the franchise. Just dive into the modern Blaster Master Zero games because those are actually excellent and even have a real story mode. Now there is a game you will be playing all the way through because of how satisfying it is.
Overall 2/10

