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The Conjuring 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would likely be far more negative.

It’s time to take a look at the next Conjuring film. As far as horror titles go the Conjuring usually gets a lot of praise for being a step above the genre. It avoids having dozens of random jump scares or throwing in random fanservice romances. It’s a horror film that tries to go about its story in a more intellectual way which is nice. While it’s still not an amazing film or anything like that it is reasonably enjoyable and shows that you can craft a pretty decent horror film if you’re willing to give it a try.

The film starts with Lorraine and Ed solving another case. This one was particularly difficult though and now Lorraine has decided that she doesn’t want to do it anymore. She wants to just retire. Ed wants to know why, but she refuses to tell him. The truth is that in one of her visions she saw a mysterious Nun murder Ed. As long as she doesn’t enter the spirit world there is a chance to prevent this, but every time she has a vision it gets closer and closer to happening. This Nun is quite powerful and since the heroes don’t know her true identity it makes defeating this villain quite difficult indeed. Ed is fine with retiring but then a new case comes to their attention and Ed feels that they are obligated to take it.

We then cut to the case in question. Janet, the second eldest of a 4 child family raised by a single mom begins to see an old man in their house. He wants the family to leave and until they do he has decided to start haunting them. At first it is minor things like moving tables around or cutting out the power but he begins to get violent and starts to possess Janet into hurting her family. Leaving the house doesn’t seem to work and the family even tries to live at a neighbor’s place. The problem is that the old man has a partner known as the Crooked Man who is also bent on making the families’ lives as difficult as possible. Just when it seems all hope is lost the main two characters show up. The problem is that the Nun has followed them. Have they only made the problem even worse?

Right off the bat I have to say that the film did a pretty good job of introducing 3 big villains and giving each of them a good amount of screen time. Naturally the one with the biggest role is the old man. He seems pretty unreasonable and evil the whole time, but there is a twist about it. Honestly it’s probably one that you’ll expect. You’ll be hard pressed on whether you should feel bad for the guy or if he should have made a move earlier and really just got what was coming to him. Either way it does make you wonder just how much power you get in this film’s afterlife. The villains seem to be quite powerful but what about all of the heroic ghosts?

Then we have the Crooked Man who gets the smallest role out of the 3. He has a pretty distinct design though and his claws certainly look like they’d make him a threat to any fighter. He’s reasonably quick as well so you definitely don’t want to underestimate this guy. Finally we have the Nun who is naturally the strongest of the 3. This character has been hinted at since the first film so you knew that she was getting ready to make a move. The film repeatedly hints at her past with Ed which will likely be looked at in her prequel film. Unfortunately Ed doesn’t remember her, but fortunately Lorraine is ready. The ending may be a bit of a stretch given how strong the Nun was, but I suppose knowing a ghost’s real name is incredibly powerful here. I liked the Nun’s design. It was sufficiently intimidating without looking gross.

While no horror film’s effects will likely ever look as good as Insidious, The Conjuring certainly holds up. As I mentioned the monsters look pretty good and the film’s always got some dark lighting while you are still able to see what is happening. The music also helps fill out the atmosphere. It’s definitely well made technically and certainly isn’t a cash-in sequel.

As for the main characters they’re still pretty good. You can certainly understand why Lorraine wanted to retire although I think she should have told Ed what she saw. Whether she thinks she can change the future or not, giving him a heads up would certainly be helpful. At the end of the day Lorraine still got involved in the case to ensure no innocents would be hurt so she did a good job there. She ended up doing a large chunk of the work in the climax. Meanwhile Ed is a pretty good character as well. He broke into the house without waiting at the end which was important even if he wasn’t really winning by that point. He did make one big mistake though and I think Lorraine will have to be partially guilty here as well.

So towards the end of the film the main characters decide to leave the family because they think that it was all a ruse. It’s a pretty tough scene to swallow because they already saw mountains of proof that suggests otherwise. Seriously, for Ed and Lorraine to believe for a minute that it was all a hoax is just terrible. The neighbors were a lot more supportive than these guys. It is enough to almost eliminate how nice the duo was before this point. After all, the family could have easily been murdered as soon as Ed and Lorraine had left. It was simply not their best moment in time. The Church also doesn’t look good as once again they are worried about their image. That seems to always be the case in these films.

As for the family who were being attacked by the ghosts I’d say that they were good characters. The kids weren’t overly annoying and at least they were willing to help each other out. While the whole teamwork thing was not as effective as Ed suggested it would be, they didn’t back down. The boy did go in after Janet to see if she was okay even if that almost proved to be fatal. The Mom also did her best to help out and once she believed Janet she did everything she could to stop the spirits. Reaching out to professionals and getting TV coverage definitely couldn’t have been easy since it would hurt her reputation as well. The family ultimately felt like what the average family should be. They weren’t exaggerated for the sake of the movie or anything like that.

Overall, The Conjuring 2 is actually a good movie. The horror elements work pretty well and the film is careful not to cross the line into super edgy territory. I do think that the Nun was pretty much the strongest villain that the series could come up with though so I’m wondering where the series will go from here. A third film will need to do something to make sure it isn’t a rehash of the previous two. Still, the series seems to be doing pretty well so far so I suppose there’s no reason to worry at the moment. I’d recommend checking this film out. The main characters may annoy you a bit but they ultimately make the right decision.

Overall 6/10

Leave No Trace Review

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It’s time to look at a survival film which mainly takes place in a large forest. It definitely goes to show why it’s such a tough task to take care of these places since people are always trying to go in there and try to live on the land. The authorities in this film are actually super lenient all things considered as I could easily see the main characters getting jail time for what they try to do. At the very least, that’s what I would picture Will’s fate would be. It’s an interesting film that’s pretty low key and is more of a down to Earth story than many other movies. It can be a bit on the tragic side as well though.

The movie starts with Will and his daughter Tom living in the forest. At first you wonder why they are there. Has there been a zombie apocalypse? Vampires running loose? No. It turns out that Will doesn’t like humanity so he has decided that the only way to enjoy life is to live outside without any other souls around. Even if the characters are alone they can’t live in a house unless it is one that Will found first and no humans have lent him. This is a rough lifestyle for Tom, but she does her best to get by. The cops eventually catch the two and Tom gets a glimpse of what life would be like with a warm bed and food. Still, Will isn’t satisfied so he tells her that they have to evade the cops and head back to the forest. Tom is reluctant to do this. Can they really survive under such a lifestyle? Well, she’s about to find out!

While you might not mind Will for a few minutes, you’ll probably know almost right away that something is off about this scenario. Why are the main characters living in the woods? Before the film reveals that Will is basically crazy you assume that maybe the zombie apocalypse came early or something like that. No, Will just doesn’t like to live like the average person and that’s when the sympathy for his character ends. You’re just waiting for Tom to try and escape him the whole time. It still makes for a pretty mysterious beginning though. I’ve never been a fan of camping so living outside for any prolonged period of time would definitely be pretty rough. It also doesn’t make for the most engaging of films typically but fortunately this movie doesn’t let itself get bogged down in the details. We don’t see them eating insects or anything like that. That’s when the film would have crossed the line.

While I can’t say that I liked Will, Tom’s a good character. She is trying her best to adapt to the situations she is put in and does so without a fuss. She is young enough where it is believable that she is following Will’s bad advice as well. You can’t really fault her for not trying harder to distance herself since that’s not really an option. By the end of the film she also makes the right call. Without Tom doing her best to help Will get used to the new lifestyle the whole thing probably would have been even tougher on the main characters.

It’s also a pretty interesting look at how the rangers prevent people like this from living in the forest. It’s certainly not a job I would envy as it seems extremely difficult so I hope they are compensated well. The forests are huge so you can imagine how tough it is to constantly be surveying it. The guard dog certainly did good as well. I’m not sure if this is how it works in real life with how the organization tries to re-locate these people, but if so then it is a much more generous process then I would have ever imagined. Rather then go to jail they give Will and Tom a fairly nice house and a whole lot of freedom. They have so much freedom in fact that I’m not sure if this is even a good idea. Of course the characters aren’t bad people in this case, but I do think this could have gotten very wrong. Of course it still isn’t enough to make Will happy, but it was a nice attempt by the agency. Even the tests they gave the main characters weren’t invasive in the slightest while still being a little effective. I’m not really sure I buy into how they really think you can understand someone through vague questions, but I know there is some science to it.

The film is certainly a slow burner though so you’ll need to appreciate the landscapes and atmosphere here. A good chunk of the story is the characters walking through the forest and doing their best to come to terms with the elements. The landscapes look pretty nice though and it’s definitely a forest that I would be up for visiting. I’m still more of a “lounge by the hotel” kind of guy, but it’s a good change of pace. Basically all of the human characters who show up are nice which is fortunate for the main characters since the situation could have gone sideways pretty quick. Characters like the truck driver were pretty reasonable and all of the dogs in the film were a blast. Again, pretty much every character aside from Will is solid so that’s definitely a good thing.

Overall, Leave No Trace is a pretty decent film. It can definitely be a little tragic at times as you feel bad for the rescue workers who are just doing their best. Naturally it can also be pretty tough for Tom the whole time. Fortunately the film always stays pretty tame and doesn’t let the situation get too absurdly bad for the main characters. It’s never a film that’s hard to watch. At most you’ll probably just get frustrated with Will the whole time which is intentional on the film’s part. Beyond that, it’s a pretty unique film and one that is probably informative as I imagine it is likely pretty realistic. These kind of films usually have a good basis in fact with the writer doing some research before the film comes out. If you want to see a film about how you could possibly survive in the forest (As long as you have a ton of money. Will is conveniently loaded so he can constantly buy whatever they need) and why it is not as good as just living in a house then this is the one for you.

Overall 6/10

You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown Review

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It’s time to look at another Peanuts special. It’s been quite a while since I saw the last one but as Election Day just passed it’s the perfect time for it to air. These specials are always quite short, but make for fun adventures with the cast. Charlie himself gets a really small role this time around so Linus is the one who has to take the center stage this time around. Does he have what it takes to hold the special?

The class is getting ready to pick their Student President which is naturally how it ties into Election Day. Charlie Brown and the others figure that Linus would make a good candidate and he agrees. However, there is one student who is running against him. The guy doesn’t seem to be much of a threat as so far everyone is voting for Linus, but Lucy still keeps on running surveys. She decides that they can’t get complacent and is proven correct when Linus goes on a rant about how the Great Pumpkin is real. Kids start to doubt in his abilities. What should have been a clear win is now turning into a very close battle.

That’s the main plot and there isn’t really room for a subplot this time. We still do have some nice Snoopy scenes where he builds himself a big breakfast though. It’s like I always say, when in doubt make yourself a sandwich. Snoopy’s also nice enough to make sandwiches for Charlie and Sally as well though which was nice. Snoopy does have a hard time of it in the actual school though as his Joe Cool disguise doesn’t work too well and then he is kicked out of the school. You’d think that the school would show him a little more respect considering that Snoopy is always the one helping them out of a pinch. Without Snoopy the school wouldn’t be doing too well.

Linus is a good lead and he’s always been one of the better Charlie Brown characters. He does seem to lose some common sense in this special though like when he brought up the Great Pumpkin. Not only was it basically off topic so her had no reason to bring it up, but he should have known that this wasn’t the right time. I can see him going on a long speech about why he would make for a great president though so that makes sense. I was also glad that the real principal got a lot of props here. The kids think they have the advantage at first when they see him sweating, but it turns out that the guy was probably just laughing. He set the record straight very quickly.

As always the animation is pretty consistent with the rest of the Peanut specials. They all look the same so the animators are definitely pretty experienced. The characters are never off model so it helps you get into the adventure right away as if it’s just another episode. There isn’t too much music in this special though. The Joe Cool song that we did get wasn’t all that good so the soundtrack is a little weaker than the average special. No matter, it’s still not a bad soundtrack I suppose.

Overall, This is a pretty fun special. It’s also very short so it’s not like it would take a long time to watch. At most you may just wish Charlie Brown had run for President since I think that probably would have been a little more entertaining. Of course, he would have been doomed from the start though so this way at least you can believe that Linus not only has a chance, but a pretty good chance at winning this. What could have worked would have been to have Charlie run against Linus instead of Russell, but that could have also ended up being super emotional or tragic so as always it would be a tough balance to keep in mind. I’m now one step closer to finishing all of the specials. It’s definitely a franchise that has had a lot of entries over the years. If you haven’t seen this one yet then I would recommend checking it out.

Overall 6/10

A Fistful of Dollars Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at an old Wild West film. I’ve never been a fan of the genre. It’s just not my thing as the scenery isn’t all that engaging and everyone always seems to be pretty unlikable here. Fortunately this one was actually pretty decent all things considered and I may go as far as to say that this is my favorite Wild West film. It’s just more enjoyable than the average one and there is quite a lot of strategy going on here which is always nice.

The film starts off with our nameless hero wandering into a corrupt town. There are two factions here which are always battling for control. They are the Baxters and the Rojos. The Baxters are technically the Sheriff group so you’d think they would be the heroes here but considering that they’re all bullies who like shooting everyone up then I guess that isn’t true. The hero decides to take both families down by pitting them against each other. In the process perhaps he will be able to save a couple who has been separated by the warring factions. (Not that they each joined a squad but that the Roja’s have split them up for their own amusement.

A good chunk of the film is about the main character lying to both sides and getting them into trouble. Naturally there is no reason to feel bad for any of the people that he is tricking because they are all bad hombres from the start. He grabs two dead Mexican cops and plants them in a grave yard which causes both groups to want to reach them in time. I can understand the Rojos wanting to silence them but I don’t really see how this would help the Baxters. They are hopelessly outmatched against the Rojos anyway. Why wouldn’t the Baxters go to the next village to grab some cops if they really needed backup? I feel like that would have helped out a little unless they were worried about being undermanned at the village for any amount of time.

One scene near the end of the film is a pretty big stretch though. The hero frames the Baxters again so the final 4 Rojos decide to go to their base and murder them all. The Baxters are supposed to be decent fighters in their own right…right? Well, they manage to somehow lose a 20+ vs 4 battle which is just shameful. They keep running out of the house without their guns or at the very least without any kind of aiming skills. At most you can see the first few members falling for this but we’re talking dozens here and the scene lasts for a very long time. They just keep running out of the house and getting shot. At least take one or two guys down before you die. Going out like that is just embarrassing. It would be tragic if the Baxters weren’t such bad characters.

Naturally there is no reason to like the Rojos either. The main villain is pretty much your stereotypical gang leader who is only concerned with getting money and messing everyone up. At least he is able to plan better than the Baxters though. Still, the only 3 good characters here are the main character and his two pals. The more minor of the two is the coffin maker. He doesn’t do a whole lot but ends up playing a pivotal role towards the end of the film. Then you’ve got the bar owner who helps the hero out a lot. Naturally this ends up being a pretty painful experience for him which is always the case when you ally yourself with the main character. He stays strong throughout though and is also a pretty good shot with his gun.

Finally there’s the main character although I think I’ve already mentioned that he’s pretty solid. This guy knows how to plan and he’s a very quick shot. He manages to take down multiple opponents quite a few times. Without his gun he can still put up a fight although at that point trying to fight a 1 v 4 is basically impossible. He also gets put through the wringer here as the scene where he is beaten by the group is quite intense and certainly lasts for a long while. The film can get pretty gruesome although that’s to be expected. It’s another Wild West thing. Still, it could have been worse.

Aside from the violence the only other aspect of the film that can hurt it is essentially how the villains are winning for 99% of the film and by the time they are defeated there isn’t much left to save. It always takes a bit of the triumph out of the victory because the villains got away with so much before finally being taken down. That’s just how it is sometimes I suppose, but it’s also fun to see the hero swoop in and save the day before all of the damage has been done.

Overall, A Fistful of Dollars is a Wild West film that manages to tick off the usual boxes without making too many mistakes. The film doesn’t particularly drag on and having a good lead is certainly important. It can be annoying to see the entire town corrupt as it is said early on that basically everyone else has already been murdered. Without the main character around things would have definitely gotten a lot worse. By the time the police actually get ready to show up as the film is ending you know that they were just way too late for it to even matter. I’d recommend checking this film out. You’ll see how to properly do a quick draw.

Overall 6/10

Exorcist II: The Heretic Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be a lot more negative.

Who here remembers the dumpster fire that was the Exorcist? Well it ended up getting a sequel. That’s pretty unfortunate in and of itself but then this film is so scattered and nonsensical that you have to wonder how it ever made it past the production phase. This film certainly didn’t do much right, but then again what would you expect? Lets take a look at the Heretic.

The film starts with Lamont getting ready for a new mission. The church wants him to check up on Regan to see what the situation is. However, they don’t want to be bothered with the specifics so if there’s anything wrong with her then Lamont needs to ignore that and give them the okay. Essentially sending him is just a formality and they want him to be aware of this. Lamont isn’t okay with this, but then demons possess him and tell him to destroy Regan. He can’t resist their influences. Can anyone live through this?

Well, one big issue here is a similar one from the first film. The priests look super weak here. The demons seem to have all of the power at their disposal while the heroes can’t do anything. If even the priest is getting mind controlled with ease then what hope do the other characters have? None, that’s what. The demons basically just toy with the main characters a lot until they grow bored and allow themselves to be destroyed. It doesn’t make for a particularly engaging synopsis I must say.

Regan actually seems to be doing a much better job of resisting the demons than the people who came in to help her. She only gets possessed when the heroes put her in the telepathy machine which allows her to see the past. How such an invention even came into being is quite suspect on its own so lets pretend that we didn’t see that. The scenes of them mind melding are pretty boring and every time the characters use this ability it ends up backfiring anyway. Why would they want to open a portal for the demons to come through?

Then you’ve got the annoying subplot where Lamont is going crazy. He starts losing his grip on reality such as when he imagines a scientist to be an old monk with some interesting powers. Naturally he dies by getting stabbed in this vision. Then he gets to ride through Africa where a swarm of locusts destroy everyone. That was in the past and it ends up tying into the film by the climax, but at that point you’ll have seen the same clip so many times that you will be bored out of your mind. If it’s one thing that this film loves, it’s stock motion. You’ll see the same recycled clips many, many times over.

The film shouldn’t have tried to keep going back to the past to explain the present. There’s just no point to it. Then you’ve got Regan’s psychiatrist who tries her best to help the kid, but naturally a demon is a little above her pay grade. Unfortunately she is travelling with an assistant who is highly susceptible to the demon mind control. Although as already pointed out the demons can mind control whoever they please so things wouldn’t have changed a whole lot otherwise. She was effectively just the fall person this time. Still makes for an annoying character though.

As you can probably expect the film is pretty violent as well. It’s not quite as gruesome as the first film where it was just hard to look at any of the characters, but this one’s still no good. You’d want to avoid it on this alone, much less everything else. None of the characters are any good with the exception of Regan who isn’t great either since she can be rather vague and scattered. It’s hard to trust her because of how she acts even if she does mean well.

Then we have the villain Pazuzu who isn’t particularly memorable. He’s basically just a very generic demon who is willing to do anything to get the last laugh even if it means degrading himself. There’s nothing interesting about him at all. The demon has absolutely no character and is basically just a waste of time. Couldn’t the writers have at least given him some kind of interesting sub-plot or character motivations? Nah…I guess I can’t say that I was surprised.

Overall, what I can glean from this movie is that it didn’t need to be made. There was no reason for an Exorcist sequel and the movie writers knew it. That’s why there is barely a plot here as the demon just wants to rise and fight but doesn’t even know why. All it does is try to make the Church look bad with how the cross and spells never work on the demons. They always just end up laughing. The film could have gone for an interesting Venom route where the original demon has grown attached to Regan and wants to protect her from other demons, but that’s too clever for this series. We also don’t need to humanize demons like that anyway so it may not have worked either way. That’s just more evidence that in general this film just should have been a reboot or something instead. Give the franchise a clean slate and maybe even improve on the original. It’s certainly possible and I think that would have been the optimal route. So, if you want to see a good horror film I’d suggest checking out something like Ghost Busters instead even if it’s basically more of a comedy film.

Overall 1/10

13 Ghosts Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror movie. This one’s definitely one of those flicks that may have been remotely scary back in the day but now you would just laugh. It’s very low key and the characters tend to get unnerved about rather small things. The ghosts themselves never really get to do anything and the film is riddled with recycled animation to try and save the budget. All in all that makes for a pretty mixed product here. It’s not one I would particularly recommend but I suppose it’s not one of the worst horror films out there.

The plot starts with Cyrus being rather down on his luck. The guy is really behind on his payments and as a result the tax people have been taking all of his furniture. They only leave behind the walls. Fortunately Cyrus then receives a large mansion from his dead uncle via will. The only catch is that he can only claim this if he lives in the mansion and that is certainly going to be rather tricky to say the least. That’s because there are a bunch of ghosts running around. Benjamin, the lawyer who told them about the will keeps trying to drive them away. He states that it just isn’t important enough to risk their lives over it and he’ll take it from here. Cyrus isn’t backing down though. Are these ghosts real or just more superstitions?

Naturally with a title like “13 Ghosts” you expect a lot of supernatural attacks. At the very least you’d expect the ghosts to have a large presence here, but that simply isn’t the case. Each of the ghosts has a gimmick like doing a chop or just yelling. That is all that they really get to do here and we see the same recycled animations for all of the ghosts each time they appear. There are only 12 ghosts for the majority of the film, but you can probably guess how a new one will be added before long. We hear stories of how the ghost utterly destroyed the uncle but it’s hard to buy into that from the start since they don’t do anything. As a result some twists may not land as hard as they could have.

The ghosts also do a terrible job of trying to explain the truth to the main characters. Surely they could have done something more to try and get their case across. At least at the very end of the film one of the ghosts finally made his move. I do have to question how he can overpower a real person since he’s basically see through, but it’s not a huge stretch to just assume that ghosts are given super strength. Again, if that is the case then they should have done something sooner though. What was stopping the ghosts can just axing the main villain right at the start?

It was interesting to see the Ouija board in a film this old though. Naturally it’s a whole lot less scary without all of the added special effects. If anything the game looks rather old and unimpressive. It also doesn’t seem to have as much of a taboo here compared to usual as the characters play it very nonchalantly. Of course once they get answers that they don’t want then they start to blame the board. Not playing it from the start is the only right response to this.

As always I have to say that the kid wasn’t great either. His name is Buck and he’s always insulting the hired help. There’s a maid who cleans up around the house and he insists on calling her a witch. By the end the film leaves it up to your imagination on if he was right or not, but either way he just comes across as rude. He’s also an incredibly deep sleeper as he doesn’t stir even when someone picks him up and puts him in a death trap. Come on…he should be more trusting. In general he shouldn’t be opening the front door to allow the lawyer in after hours either. There are just a lot of pitfalls here.

The other characters aren’t as bad, but they aren’t particularly great either. Cyrus and his wife are reasonable. They can be a little jumpy, but at the end of the day they are keeping the mansion. Then you’ve got the lawyer who is really scared of the ghosts. He constantly makes sure to remind the heroes that they could die any moment from the ghosts. I’m not sure if that is really who you want as your lawyer. I suppose he doesn’t have to be brave as long as he is experienced though.

Overall, 13 Ghosts is just very uneventful. The film doesn’t really do anything to try and be all that scary. For the most part it’s just a day in the lives of the main characters. They get a few scares, but for the most part they are just scaring themselves and it’s not even the ghosts doing it. At least they enjoyed their cash at the end though so the film had a happy ending. It’s just that the film really was unfocused. I still can’t get behind how bad the actual ghosts were. They just kept doing absolutely nothing for the entire film. If you cut them out of the film entirely then nothing would change as the single ghost at the end is not even related to the others. I mean, he is one of the 13 but you could have called it the Ghost instead and it would have been more accurate. Still a lifeless film, but at least not a misleading one. If you want a more intense film about ghosts then check out Scrooged.

Overall 3/10

The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb Review

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It’s time to look at an old Mummy film. Unfortunately this one isn’t particularly good, but I don’t think you will find this all that surprising. After all, the Mummy films are rarely all that good and this is the Hammer version. Hammer pretty much never gets anything right so why would they start now? Just think about it….these guys aren’t the ones you want to write your film. As a result we get a bunch of unlikable characters thrown into situations where it is hard to be sympathetic to them.

The film starts out with John and the gang digging up a mummy. The locals don’t like this since mummies bring a lot of curses with them so they try to murder the heroes. The main characters fight back and eventually with the help of the rich Alexander they get the Mummy out. Alexander is your typical rich CEO who wants to make even more money so he thinks that the curse will be a great way of attracting people over to his shows. Honestly….he’s not wrong. It’s working pretty well, but then the Mummy escapes and starts to murder people. John will have to figure out a way to stop the Mummy, but he also has to figure out a way to stop Adam from stealing his fiance Annette. Will he be focused enough to achieve both objectives or forfeit both?

Right away you can see one of the problems here…Annette. So, she is supposedly serious about John and yet the instant Adam shows up she quickly starts cheating on John and is ready to abandon him. This essentially means that she was fake all along or she was only in it for the money. I can’t imagine that John has that much cash so it’s a little iffy, but it’s all that I’ve got. So, this wrecks Annette’s character, but it also makes John look bad since he never even confronts her about this. He basically just watches and once Annette is ready to take him back he’s ready as well. The film ends before we can really see the fallout but I would have liked to see them break up before the film ends.

Also, before it got the far shouldn’t John have fought for her? It’s a debatable point since sometimes it’s best to just let someone go if they’re going to be tempted away that easily. At the same time, you gotta make some kind of move right? Leave or stay but just watching makes John look sooooo weak. Then we’ve got the villain Adam. Aside from the fact that he acts obviously evil from the start, his plan is just pretty bad. He is cursed with immortality and the only way he can die is if the Mummy murders him. I personally think he overrates his healing factor, but even if it is true, he has to go to an awful lot of work just to die a very painful death. There’s nothing particularly likable or interesting about Adam.

The only good character here is Alexander. As I mentioned he is a bit generic, but I really like the rich CEO angle. He wants to make a quick buck and is honest about how petty he is. You have to appreciate how straight forward the guy is. You know from the start that he is definitely going to die, but even with that I have to say that I was rooting for him. He isn’t scared of mummies and curses the way that everyone else is. Alexander holds his ground all the way to the end as a good character should. He should have been the main character and it would have been cool to see him take down the Mummy personally.

As for the Mummy, I’m afraid that he is also a disgrace here. The guy can barely move and hie design is just awful. It’s almost like the movie is doing its best to mock the guy here. The only way he hits anyone is when they trip or are being held back by another character. He is also weak against chanting, but is still able to back hand Adam so I’ll give him some props there. He also destroys his followers when they wish for it so you could argue that he is taking commands. This version of the Mummy is the closest we will get to a mindless monster.

The whole time you’re watching this film you’re going to be waiting for a character to make a sensible choice. Unfortunately it just never happens. The Mummy’s followers are both suicidal and end up letting him murder them. The heroes are either not courageous enough to do anything like John or they are easily swayed and can’t be trusted. In case you weren’t sure, I thought the writing in this film wasn’t particularly good either. At best I can at least say that the film’s pacing wasn’t bad. It’s a pretty quick adventure and isn’t given enough time to drag on.

Overall, The Mummy’s Tomb could and should have been a lot better. As it stands, it’s a fairly annoying film that just isn’t all that enjoyable. There’s really not much to see here and you’d be better off watching one of the other Mummy films. I don’t know why these companies have so much trouble with the Mummy. In theory it’s a concept that should work quite well. The Mummy got the short end of the stick on his first attempt at life and now he wants a re-do. Where’s the harm in that? Yet, the Mummy doesn’t get to appear for very long in some of these films. It’s a shame.

Overall 3/10

Halloween 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the film would be more negative.

Well, it looks like the sequel to Halloween has finally arrived. There’s only so much that this film can try to do to be good. From the start you know that it’s not going to be good, but can it at least be entertaining? Well, I’ve seen worse horror films so I’ll give it that, but this is still one of those sequels where you just shake your head. Myers has also grown a lot more powerful over the course of a few minutes as he suddenly becomes just about invincible here. Why is he bullet proof!?

The film takes place seconds after the first which is impressive. It’s an underrated approach and a super cool one if you ask me. I always like when the story picks up immediately like this. Basically, Michael Myers escaped capture last time and he decides to go right back to his goal of murdering everyone in the neighborhood. The cops have to try and stop him, but they can’t seem to save everybody. It looks like Laurie is going to have to save herself as expected. After all, when everyone else fails then it’s time to just do it yourself right?

Most of what I’m going to say here could be applied to the first film or any film in the series. That’s because Halloween follows what I’d consider to be the typical horror film outline. The only trope it seems to avoid is the animal violence one which I will give it some props there. I’m glad it was able to do that at least. The first thing dragging the film down is naturally the over the top violence. Naturally everyone meets pretty grim ends at the hand of Michael Myers. Most of the characters don’t even put up a fight or they go down without making a sound. (Rhyme intentional) Given that he has super strength and such at least it’s a little more believable than in some of the other films. Still, the body count in this film is incredibly high as nobody seems to have a way to communicate and he just takes down the whole town one at a time. It’s scary just how many people he gets and the cops never even find out about it.

Then you’ve also got horror trope #2, the terrible characters. All the characters seem to care about is getting past the friend zone. Two characters decide to hang out at a hot springs when they’re supposed to be on duty and looking after the patients. Then they can’t even tell when the other character has been bumped off. It’s also just an excuse to get a fanservice scene in since horror films seem to need that. There’s also the pointless emergency staff guy who keeps on flirting with Laurie throughout. The plot doesn’t go anywhere and I don’t even really get how the guy died. Sure, he tripped, but why would he die from that? Perhaps part of the scene was cut for the TV version or something but if there is no more context to that scene then this guy’s just a joke. He should have been written out of the film.

Laurie’s a reasonable character here. In fact, she’s the only reasonable character. She realizes very quickly that nobody else here is even remotely competent so she escapes from the hospital to try and save herself. Of course the other characters give away her hiding spot and drop the gun. If I was Laurie I’d definitely leave this town and never come back. Sam talks tough and he has a gun so he’s better than most of the characters, but he still isn’t the smartest of the characters. He plugs Myers 6 times and the guy doesn’t go down. What does he do in round 2? He shoots him 4 times. Look, if you think that this guy is basically unstoppable then you have to do all that you can to stop him. Trying to walk over and take his knife away isn’t smart so Sam is smarter than the policeman, but then go for a head shot or something. Do whatever it takes to make sure Myers stays down. Then Sam just goes back into running mode and his gun jams. Well gee…that’s just bad luck now.

Finally we’ve got Myers, but he isn’t even a character in this film. He’s basically just a zombie that is going around murdering people. I don’t think he got a single line here so maybe the film is trying to hint that he is basically dead by this point. Maybe the 6 bullets did finish him off and he is a zombie. Then again, I forget if he talked in the first film. Maybe he just can’t talk. Either way there’s not much to his character. The rest of the characters in the film just exist to die so you feel bad for them. In slasher films like this one only the main character tends to live while everyone else dies. It’s a rather tragic existence for the whole town, they were just outgunned.

There’s just nothing positive to say about the film. It’s not fun to watch and I dare say that it might be more over the top than the first film. Although I think the first film had animal violence so it was probably still worse than this film. The only positive I can say for this film is that it avoided the big 0 by avoiding the animal violence. Even then it was fairly close, but I think a 1 is reasonable. The film also isn’t particularly long so at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome quite as drastically as you might fear. Imagine this going for 2 hours? Now that would be really brutal!

Overall, Halloween 2 doesn’t try to do anything particularly clever or unique. It’s basically just a rehash of the last film. If the last film was a good movie then that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but there’s just nothing particularly good here. It’s a pretty mean spirited film where the villain has the edge throughout. Surprisingly there isn’t even a stinger here so I suppose the heroes can finally get a little peace at least. It’s a silver lining, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’d highly recommend avoiding this film as much as possible. Just stick away from it and you’ll be the better off for it.

Overall 1/10

My Little Pony: Best Gift Ever Review

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With season 8 all done it seemed like we would be getting a long break with no Pony adventures to watch. Fortunately this was not the case as Hasbro gave us one last special to end the year with. This one is a classic Christmas special with the characters exchanging gifts and remembering that through thick and thin they will always be friends. It’s a pretty solid special that is certainly entertaining. It’s nice to be focused on the Mane 6 once more as opposed to the newer characters. Keep in mind, the newer characters are cool of course, but nothing beats hanging out with the original fighters.

The special starts with Twilight hitting the panic button once again as she can’t seem to get enough time to put up the decorations around the castle and pick out presents for all of her best buds. As always we can blame this on Cadance and Shining Armor. That’s when Applejack decides that they should only give 1 gift this year. Everyone will have a secret pony buddy who they will give the gift too. This will allow them to each have more time to just enjoy the holiday. Twilight thinks that this is a great idea, but now that all of the ponies only need to get one gift, Twilight has to make sure that hers is the best one ever.

Naturally you can probably imagine that this won’t be a particularly easy feat. The ponies aren’t easy characters to buy things for and none of the characters want to actually ask for help. They all get their own plots which is nice and since the special is around 45 minutes there is enough time for all of the various plots to develop and get satisfying conclusions. The music is pretty solid as per usual. We get quite a few songs with the only weak one being Spike’s. It’s always good to have a few lyrical songs to remind us why this series became such a big deal in the first place. The songs are still top notch. As always the animation is consistently good as well. The character models are on point and everything looks very clear and smooth as you would expect. It feels like a 2 part episode which is essentially what this is supposed to be.

First lets look at the Twilight Sparkle plot. Her situation definitely isn’t quite as bad as the others since all of the pressure is just stuff that she is putting on herself, but it doesn’t help that Shining Armor and the others are guilt tripping her about this. They’re completely insensitive to the fact that they are the reason why she is stressed out. I still think they are pretty poor characters compared to the rest of the cast. Twilight doesn’t let all of this get to her though and gradually she solves the issue. The animators had fun with her facial expressions here as they got pretty stretched out at times.

The best plot is certainly the Rainbow Dash and Discord one. Discord may be a little mean at times and he does turn evil on a whim, but you have to give the guy some credit, he knows how to save the day. Without his timely intervention at the end here things may not have gone well. He helped Fluttershy have a fun time. Rainbow Dash was also cool as always and did a great job using her speed to secure the best gift as well. Meanwhile Pinkie Pie ran over to the Yaks for help which was her first mistake. Naturally this plot wasn’t quite as exciting but it’s also super short so don’t think that it’s bad or anything. It’s a good way of including more characters.

Rarity’s plot was pretty good as she made the heroic choice not to take away the hat she ordered from the innocent family. Naturally this whole thing made Derpy look pretty bad though. At least they finally let her talk. I remember there used to be a lot of controversy around the character, but it looks like Hasbro is finally ready to let her move on. Now we just need Derpy to get more of a starring role for an episode at some point. That would be a blast. Unfortunately, Fluttershy also doesn’t look that good here. She gets fooled by some of the oldest tricks in the book. At the end of the day she never even got her money back so she wasted it all in an instant. It’s easy to feel bad for her, but at the same time you just hope that she will use this as a learning experience. Fortunately Applejack doesn’t play around when it comes to lies and she sets the matter straight for the town. She certainly looks pretty good here. Then again, Applejack always looks pretty good in these adventures.

The only plot that wasn’t all that great was Spike’s. As always, his comic relief romance subplot doesn’t go anywhere and it just exists to make Spike look bad at times. He also can’t sing quite as well as the others. Still, it’s not as if the scenes are too painful or anything. Spike aside, the special basically has no weak points. It’s a quality adventure that you can watch anytime and it certainly has a lot of replay value. I think you could even market it as a lost episode for season 1 and nobody would have any problems with that aside from the continuity angle. It’s very well done and hopefully this inspires the team to make more pony specials in the future.

Overall, Best Gift Ever is a really well written special that I could recommend to anyone. You don’t have to be a My Little Pony fan to quickly understand what is going on and get invested into the plot. It’s basic enough for anyone to jump in while also being emotional enough for anyone to cheer along with. Discord was actually the standout character here which shows you how on point the writing was. Now the long wait for season 9 really begins but in the meantime I’ll be gearing up to watch the next Equestria Girls film. I’m certainly expecting big things in that adventure and hopefully it’ll be just as much fun as this special.

Overall 7/10

Strait-Jacket Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror film by the name of strait jacket and like the Tingler it is ready with a few twists and turn in the plot. It’s always good when a film throws in a few misdirects to keep you busy as long as they make sense and have some kind of purpose. I do think this film pulled off the twist but it still couldn’t save itself from falling into a few holes.

The basic plot is that Lucy was away from home on a business trip. During her absence the husband decided to cheat on her with someone else. What he didn’t realize was that Lucy had caught the early train back home so she arrived in time to see this. The guy didn’t notice her arrival until it was too late and she managed to destroy both of them. She was sent away for 30 years but now she is back and hoping to live a normal life once more. Her daughter, Carol, wants everything to go back to how they once were, but is that even possible?

There are a bunch of other characters wandering around and are ready to muddle the plot as well. This includes the fiance to the daughter who just so happens to be rich and his parents. They don’t want the main two to get married and are ready to stop this relationship in its tracks. Then you’ve got the nice maid who helps out around the house and a mean Gardner who makes it clear that he doesn’t take orders from anyone. People start to get axed just like how the mother got rid of the competition. Has Lucy descended into madness or is someone setting her up?

Now, how well the twist works may depend on how you feel about the mother’s opening scene. After all, she was betrayed and so she fought back. The context is a whole lot different than most other murderers in these kinds of films. She was never actually crazy and just wasn’t gonna let the guy get away with it. It will probably feel very far fetched to see her going back to getting anyone else. Of course, as a horror film that is always a possibility. Meanwhile you will be suspecting someone from the main cast. I’d say that there are only 3 reasonable suspects among them but I’ll stop there.

Unfortunately the film does make the big mistake of throwing in animal violence. See, the main character’s own a farm and they believe in caging their chickens. Naturally we also have to see them chop one and the whole thing is pretty bad. Cutting out that scene/pointless subplot would have really gone a long way. I suppose that all of this does help to tip you off to the fact that something definitely isn’t right here.

The final action scene is definitely pretty intense though as the villain has a cool design. The whole thing is basically perfect even if it’s a little plot convenient. Getting into the house is way too easy for all parties involved. I get that this was back in the old days where everyone was a friend, but just leaving your door open throughout the night is asking for trouble. In particular you will feel bad for the father who just wanted to drink his milk. Sure, the guy probably should have gotten a little more involved with the marriage situation but at least he wasn’t actively opposed to it. He should have been less of a target than the wife. Of course, if you’re planning on bumping them both off then I suppose it makes sense to take him out first.

We’ve also got the corrupt butcher guy who was hired on for some reason. I never get why the main characters hire some super shady guy and then put up with how he acts throughout. They are the ones with the power here, just fire the guy and be done with it. Instead he throws around some threats and the main characters basically just have to shake in their boots. The fiance character wasn’t much better honestly. That’s because he is treated like a normal main character and yet he comes very close to cheating on Carol which is what Lucy was afraid of. The guy has no self control at all.

While the film does perform some of the plot twists pretty well, there are also some obnoxious red herrings that don’t need to be here. The first of which is certainly the scene with Lucy trying to act younger. The music takes her over and suddenly she becomes a huge flirt who can’t control herself. That’s a very big 180. Couldn’t she have dressed younger while staying mature? It defeats the whole purpose of getting a second chance at youth if you also lose the knowledge of being older along with it. This plot never really plays into the film in a realistic way. At times she just acts a little too crazy…so maybe Lucy always was insane.

Then we have the psych guy show up to basically tell Lucy that she’s crazy and has got to go. He’s not the smartest guy for a plethora of reasons. One of which is that he should have his guard up since he is dealing with someone who has murdered in the past. Even if the rehabilitation is complete you’d think that he would at least be prepared for anything right? Well, that’s not the case here and it certainly ended up coming back to haunt him. Then we’ve got the brother Bill who doesn’t really get much of a role here. He’s mostly just around as a sound board for the other characters.

Overall, Strait Jacket is a pretty interesting thriller. It makes it share of mistakes so I won’t call it a good film, but I will say that it does put in an effort. The film at least goes through the motions of forcing you to think a little. I also did like the ending with how happy it got all of a sudden compared to the sad scene that had just played. It’s time to try to make things all right again and it’s good that the character isn’t going to take the situation too hard. Who knows, with a few years of patience and talking maybe they’ll all get their happily ever after. In the mean time I would recommend getting some tickets for the Broly film coming out this year (In Japan) if you want a spooky, but epic film. That one’s going to be intense!

Overall 3/10