Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Halloween 3 may have decided to let Myers off the ride but he’s back in business in this film. In a lot of ways Halloween 4 is really just about showing us how dangerous Michael Myers is and that the guy hasn’t lost his touch after 10 years. He certainly wastes no time in taking the heroes for a spin. They just can’t keep up with him in the slightest. There really isn’t anything more to this film than just being a classic slasher though so unless you’re a fan of the genre it’s probably game over.

The film starts off with Myers about to be transferred from his current asylum. It’s been 10 years and his muscles should have completely deteriorated at this point. Just look at how tough it was for Kirito to go through rehab and that was only 3 years. Well, the cops are satisfied that Myers won’t be any trouble and put him in the van. The issue is that in their overconfidence they didn’t really strap him in or keep a close watch so he takes them down for the count and escapes. His target is now his niece Jamie who is still just a little girl. Can the cops and good ole Loomis manage to stop him or is it going to be game over for them?

You definitely have to give Loomis credit for being so persistent over the years. To think that it has been 10 years and he still visits the asylum to check on Myers? That’s not bad and of course the only reason Myers escaped is because nobody took the old guy seriously. You’d think that they would after such a massacre but I guess that wasn’t in the cards. Being complacent is a must in these kind of things. I don’t blame them for doubting the supernatural element of this but you should still have the guy chained up when moving him.

Myers also seems to see Loomis as a rival of sorts given that he goes out of his way to have a few confrontations with the guy. Loomis is lucky that he lives through their encounters although on the other hand it could be that Myers intentionally spares him to ensure that the rivalry goes on. I wouldn’t doubt that this is the case since he usually murders everyone else on sight with no mercy. Loomis is a solid character and one of the most memorable ones in the movie. He may not always win but at least he is doing his best to make sure things go well.

Myers himself is really just a mindless monster at this point. I mean he plans things out and all but there isn’t any personality to him. He’s just a walking murder machine that will stop at nothing to take everyone down. He makes for a tough obstacle to overcome but there really isn’t anything interesting about him. The mask is iconic at least but that’s really all you can say about him. Given some of the horror villains that we do have maybe having one with no personality is better than giving him a bad one. I dunno, maybe that’s the case but it doesn’t make him very interesting.

As for the human characters, well they’re slasher protagonists so you can guess that most of them are not going to be very likable. First you have Rachel who is in charge of looking after Jamie but isn’t very happy about it. I’ll grant you this, at least she doesn’t try to ditch Jamie and sneak off to a party. Once the decision has been made she does stand by it and tries to be supportive. She can be rather petty during serious moments though like when she spills coffee on her rival. Keep in mind that at this point everyone is barricaded in the house since there is a crazy serial killer on the loose. Not the best time to be pulling stunts like this and she could have seriously burned her. 

There’s also one scene where Myers is coming up the stairs and she’s just distracting Brady the whole time as she yells and yells for him to run or something. He was telling her to run and she was just staying there. Either you stay and help for real or you run off but you really can’t have it both ways. Once she buys enough time for Myers to finish Brady off then she runs away. It definitely is not her best appearance.

It’s not a great look for Brady either. I don’t care if she started playing the drums in the background, he is face to face with a dangerous criminal who has already murdered many people. He should have had complete focus here as he loaded the gun. Instead he allows Myers to get within an arm’s distance of him which is a massive mistake on all fronts. You just can’t allow that to happen under any circumstances.

The Sheriff was solid though. He did a good enough job of looking after the community and did take Myers seriously by the end. (Not like he had much of a choice if we’re being perfectly honest here) He really did want to do right by his town and there wasn’t really anything to dislike about him. Then you have Jamie herself who doesn’t get a lot to do here. She’s just old enough where she can run and at least knows what is going on but is ultimately too young to actually fight back or really plan things out with the adults. That really makes her a character who has to be protected at all times but also one who can’t really fight back.

I wasn’t a big fan. She’s not too bad or anything and means well but just isn’t very interesting as the protagonist. Most of the jump scares here are really because Myers is toying with her since he knows he can win at any time. He’ll just jump out and do the equivalent of yelling “Boo!” and then vanish away when the grown ups appear. He could probably beat them as well especially since his durability is so high but I suppose he wants to draw the whole thing out.

The main thing I’ll give the film credit for is when we get a group of guys from town who decide to hunt Myers down themselves. That makes a lot of sense. It’s rare to ever see the town fighting back while everything is going on, they usually just stay home and get bumped off one by one.

Unfortunately the execution isn’t great as they end up just picking each other at one point and panic too easily. The idea was a good one though, if there’s ever a time to be a vigilante, it’s when there is a serial killer on the loose. By this point he had also taken out the police station so something had to be done. The scene where Myers inevitably takes them out is more annoying than anything because it just doesn’t make sense.

There’s not much else too it as the rest if just Myers murdering everybody. He certainly wants to make sure that nobody ever wants to move to this town again. Or at the very least, just take a vacation around Halloween so you’re not around when things get messy. The crazy thing is that Myers may not have even known who to target if not for the cops happening to mention Jamie’s name at the wrong time.

Overall, Halloween 4 is very much just going through the motions at this point. As soon as you see Myers being transported you can probably just close your eyes and still follow what’s happening in the movie very well. There’s just no escape from this guy and the whole movie is about him tracking everyone down. It’s as violent as you’d expect and the cast isn’t the best. You also feel like they should easily be crushing Myers in many cases if they weren’t all panicking the whole time. I will give the film credit for having the town actually fight back for a change. Now that’s rare to see.

Overall 1/10

Halloween III: Season of the Witch Review


This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative
Halloween certainly took a different approach with this installment. No Myers this time and well it’s just nothing like the rest. It does manage to capture a tense atmosphere and you almost have a bit of a Twilight Zone kind of feel here but the film is very quickly not content for the slow burner approach and keeps on going back to being a normal slasher and wasting this tense feeling.

The movie starts with a guy getting attacked and barely managing to make it to the hospital. He tries to warn the staff that everybody is going to die but they quickly subdue him and get the guy into emergency care. Unfortunately the hospital was not quite protected well enough and he is murdered by one of the assailants. Doctor Daniel is disturbed by this so he heads out to get drunk out of his mind. That’s when the victim’s daughter Ellie shows up and declares that she is going to find out what happened. Her father shouldn’t have had any enemies so why would he be taken out like this? Daniel decides to help her out so the two travel to a nearly abandoned town with a mask making company that is their only lead. Have they just stumbled onto something bigger than themselves?

Okay so right off the bat the first scenes have one of the most vicious deaths in the movie as the guy’s head gets completely crushed. This movie really didn’t hold back on just how brutal the deaths were. It’s quite creative in a way as these may be even more devastating than the average slasher film murders. Each and every death here is like that as one person even takes an energy beam to the face and this isn’t Dragon Ball Z so lets just say that it leaves a lot of damage.

The film’s already dooming itself quite a bit with all the violence but even beyond that none of the characters are likable. Lets take Buddy first. He’s already having a lot of family issues because he is not reliable and always missing important days. Well, he’s about to miss a lot of others because he doesn’t even tell them that he’s trying to solve the murder of this latest victim.

Now, this is a pretty serious moment for Ellie and Buddy since murder is no joke. Yet 5 minutes after they get to the hotel they decide to mess around with each other. Okay….it’s probably not the best time to start an affair particularly as they are in enemy territory and believe there was some foul play. All they’re doing is making sure they are extra defenseless now.

Bobby also splits up with Ellie quite a bit considering how dangerous the situation is. Shouldn’t they at least stay together when walking around the town? Buddy just ends up being annoying the whole time and keep in mind that he is also flirting with a coworker the entire time even while he’s having an affair with Ellie. Just keep that in mind. This guy cannot keep his mind on the task at hand.

Then Ellie is just really not smart and handles everything in the worst way possible. She makes it obvious that the heroes suspect the villains like when she runs towards her father’s car or when she nearly bursts into tears after that. She’s super willing to go on the tour and everything to find the evidence but doesn’t really take any precautions. Now there’s probably not a whole lot they could do against the androids but I’d like to at least have seen her head be in the game.

The only person you’ll probably feel bad for here s Marge who just showed up to get some more masks. It’s tough having to go all the way to the factory direct but she did it because she needs those masks in time for Halloween and won’t miss out on the sales. It’s really a case of her being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong product.

Same with Buddy who really did a great job in selling as many masks as possible. Apparently there was nobody better at this which just makes the whole thing even more tragic. He seemed like a good guy too so you just feel bad for him. He probably should have taken down the snakes as they appeared so they didn’t build up but it was a high pressure situation and unfortunately he just wasn’t ready for it. Then you have Cochran who is the main villain here.

The guy is one of those team corporate members who just enjoys a good joke and reliving the old traditions. He has an origin story that explains the supernatural part of the story but it seems like his motivation was really just to play a joke on the whole world by selling these masks that melt into you and summon a bunch of insects. The fact that it only works when watching a commercial is fairly meta.

You won’t be remembering this villain very well after the movie but the one thing you can say for him is that he does have a lot of patience. He had to really build up the company to get it to this point and couldn’t make any slip ups in the meantime. Additionally the Halloween jingle for the commercials is rather catchy. I can definitely picture the characters getting tired of it when it plays numerously every day leading up to Halloween though.

The film ends in a way where you can decide how it plays out. Personally I think there’s no way the company is able to help Daniel out a third time. As it is, I was surprised they even listened on the first two attempts because with the commercials selling so well on the other days they probably wouldn’t dare shut it down. They don’t want to say goodbye to those $$$ after all. It works as a solid ending though and again goes for that Twilight Zone feeling where nothing is at it seems. A sequel would have been interesting assuming that the snakes keep spawning as we see what the government would want to do here.

The climax gives us some action but it was really convenient that throwing the emblems was able to perfectly link the TVs in a circle to burn everyone away and turn someone into a ghost. That was very convenient to be sure. The villain has a bunch of androids with him which explains how they were able to literally rip people apart. I don’t see how Daniel was able to defeat one of them though. It shouldn’t have broken down that quickly or been slow enough to be tagged like that. I had a hard time believing those bits because they just didn’t seem very likely. Low key it was kind of funny to see Daniel take out a napkin to clean his hand while Cochran was monologuing only for him to realize that the substance was too thick to actually be removed that way and he just tossed the napkin.

So I don’t have many good things to say about the film but the one thing I will give it is that the atmosphere was handled well. The scenes where they first drive into the village and we see how oddly everyone was acting is quite solid. You know that something isn’t right and the people here just don’t seem normal. It’s that 80s vibe that is really hard to recreate nowadays. So at least that’s something. Also, having the original Halloween exist in this continuity as a fictional movie is rather meta.

The climax was also decent in some respects. I like that we got several fake outs with the final robot that kept choking Daniel. It made for a decent back and forth fight even if once again I feel like Daniel should have been taken down. If a robot is strong enough to utterly crush someone’s skull with ease then it’s definitely strong enough to choke someone out way before they have time to push you off or grab some loose object on the ground.

Overall, Halloween took some risks but ultimately they did not pay off. It keeps all of the usual slasher elements like particularly gruesome deaths and then doubled down by making the main characters not be all that likable. The spooky atmosphere would have been more effective in a subtle movie where the violence isn’t so high and the tension slowly builds up. I dare say that this film would have been better off falling back on its usual formula if anything because this one just didn’t work. Definitely skip on checking this one out.

Overall 1/10

Kirito vs Halloween




Halloween is a pretty scary fighter but the same can be said for Kirito. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would really want to go up against this guy. Kirito’s powers are just insane. A single swing of his sword could potentially end this match as soon as it has begun. Halloween has a lot of projectiles and abilities at his disposal but I don’t see any way he can compensate for his lack of speed. Kirito will be running rings around him pretty quickly and as soon as he lands a good blow then that’s game over. Kirito wins.

Beetlejuice Review


Beetlejuice is definitely a very popular horror film so you’re bound to have run across it at some point or another. The theater play certainly ran for a while as well. It’s a pretty interesting story and it can be a fun blend of humor and supernatural like Ghostbusters or something like that. Unfortunately it is held back by the main villain Betelgeuse who just isn’t able to hold the film here. His screen time actually isn’t all that long which is good but he still tries to drag down the scenes that he is in.

The movie starts with Adam and Barbara settling into their new house. Unfortunately they end up dying in a car accident. They are now ghosts who are stuck inside their own house and cannot leave. They are now forced to watch a new family show up to live there. They need a way to chase these people out so the house will remain theirs but their various scare tactics aren’t working. There is one person who can help, a ghost known as Betelgeuse. However the guy has a rather shady reputation and all the experts are telling the leads not to summon him. Should they listen?

The main characters aren’t the greatest leads so it’s good that we got the next family to come in. Adam is way too passive the whole time and just lets everything go on around him. The first thing Betelgeuse does when he shows up is attack Barbara and Adam literally does nothing about it. I think I may have heard him utter a half hearted “hey” when he did it but that was it. He certainly means well but at the end of the day he just doesn’t do much. He looks really bad in the final scenes of the film as well. Seriously you’d think the guy would have been able to do more. Barbara is a little better. She still isn’t very active at times but at least she’s a bit tougher than Adam. I feel like she also should have been against summoning Betelgeuse after the initial scene though.

No, the real characters show up when Charles and Delia along with their daughter Lydia appear. This family is ready to have a swell time in the new place. From all of the characters Charles is definitely putting in the most effort in order to relax. He’s a glass half full kind of guy where nothing can really keep him down. He’s just got a nice way of spinning everything into a positive around here. It’s part of why the ghosts can’t really mess with him. You can’t mess with a guy who’s having a lot of fun right? Then you have Delia who’s a bit more eccentric and certainly very particular about interior design. She’s eager to have the ghosts around later on even though she was super skeptical beforehand.

Lydia isn’t quite as fun as her parents. She’s going through that goth phase where she is pretty depressed all of the time and even writes a foreboding letter at one point in the film. The characters definitely need to keep a very close eye on her that’s for sure. The family also has a friend/uncle named Otho who’s a lot of fun. That guy has some pretty solid tricks at his disposal. He was easily able to take down the two nearest ghosts which is impressive and in general he doesn’t scare easily. So we’ve got a pretty strong cast here. It would help if Betelgeuse was better but it just wasn’t meant to be. You can tell what kind of character portrayal they’re going for here but instead of funny he just came across as annoying instead.

One of the best scenes in the film helped to highlight how solid most of the cast was though. There’s a scene where the ghosts force the characters to dance to a crazy song for a while. Instead of running away they’re all pretty pleased with themselves for being able to keep up with the choreography. I thought this scene was handled really well with the humor and is an example of a moment that was written very well. The movie definitely had some fun lines here and there as well but this was the standout moment. As you would expect the film goes all in with some of the creepy visuals here and there. The scenes of Adam and Barbara destroying themselves to show the new tenants how scary they were was definitely something else that’s for sure.

Beetlejuice has a good blend of humor going for the most part but it’s movie where the flaws definitely do show more than in others. It’s hard to really put this one above the breakeven point as a result. One thing I would have done to take this to the next level would either have been more scenes of the new family hanging out since they were a lot of fun or maybe exploring the fantasy land outside. Those giant worms were pretty impressive and it raises a lot of questions about what the world of death is really like. I guess every ghost is sorta trapped in their domain aside from visiting the spirit world? I’d also question how much a spirit can influence. On one hand they seem to be able to interact with objects but not directly with people. Of course Betelgeuse can, but I suppose he’s a unique case. Maybe it’s one of those things where you have to build up your power.

Overall, Beetlejuice is definitely a classic. I don’t think it’s aged as well as some of the all stars like Ghostbusters or Men in Black but I can see why a lot of people find this to be a pretty fun watch. There’s a lot going on and the movie tends to move at a quick pace. Throw in some fun visuals like the outside world and you’ve got enough elements to keep you interested. I’d also say that there’s definitely a whole lot you could do for a sequel as well. I feel like this movie is primed for a sequel at some point. By now it’s definitely old enough for the nostalgia to work. Halloween may be over but if you want one last trip down memory lane then this could be a good one to check out.

Overall 5/10

Halloween vs Oogie Boogie




Suggested by Destroyer Halloween is back once more. His fire moves have served him well so far and that will continue here. Oogie Boogie is good at manipulating others and always staying near the top of the food chain but that won’t help here. Oogie’s durability won’t help him since Halloween can just burn through his shell. This will also really hurt his true form to the point where he will really end up being out of luck. No matter how you slice it Oogie just isn’t ready for this kind of battle. Halloween wins.

Halloween vs King Boom Boo




Suggested by Destroyer Halloween has returned and he’s now faced off against a new King to the blog. King Boom Boo made his debut in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle and fans have always wondered if he would have a chance against King Boo. He was definitely a fun opponent to go up against that’s for sure. Still, I wouldn’t be able to give him the victor here. Halloween would be able to pepper him with fire blasts. There isn’t really anywhere King Boom Boo could run that Halloween couldn’t reach. At the end of the day his odds of victory are null. Halloween wins.

Halloween vs King Bob Omb




Suggested by Destroyer It’s time for Halloween to make his blot debut! He’s a pretty powerful villain from the MAR series. He may not seem all that impressive while he’s stuck to a cross like that but don’t let looks deceive you. He has a wide range of spells including fire blasts. Fire is the last thing that King Bob Omb wants to see right about now since it would really light him up. There’s no real escape for him so this is definitely game over. Halloween wins.

The Hug Review


It’s time to look at a quick special known as The Hug. This was a pretty recent horror short from 2018 and it borrows from the 5 Nights at Freddy’s concept. What if there was an evil pizza place where the mascot goes around murdering people? In less than 5 minutes there is only so much that this special can do to show off the premise so you have to fill in the gaps yourself. There are definitely a lot of implications here not just for the worker but for the store in general.

The short has a kid celebrating his birthday party at a local pizza place. He finally won some ticket on one of the machines so he wants to have a shot performed for him by the animal robot. The store owner says the robot is out to lunch so the kid has to wait. The kid doesn’t listen and opens the curtain. The machine asks for a hug and it turns out to be a fatal one as the machine eats the kid. The pizza owner tries to investigate but gets scared off by the machine’s true face. That is ultimately how the special ends.

So…did the pizza owner know that the machine was evil? It’s pretty sketchy that they continue to power on the robot every day if that is the case. It also makes the owner a true accomplice. The owner’s phrasing here is also key as he said that the machine was eating. Machines don’t eat so that means the owner was feeding him something. We can only hope that he feeds it a steady diet of veggies and pizza but is that really the case? The owner was my favorite character on the surface as he seemed concerned and at least did try to help. It’s just that the more you think about it, the more likely it is that he is completely responsible for what happened. In that case it’s hard to like the guy.

The film makes the kid was unlikable as possible before he gets eaten. He disobeys the rules and just isn’t a very nice guy in general. It’s still pretty dark for the kid to get eaten like that though. Since the short ends so suddenly you can try to make the case that they got the kid out of it afterwards. I’m not sure how much weight that theory holds but the guests do outnumber the robot so perhaps they would be able to pull something like that off.

Overall, The Hug is definitely a fun little horror title. It reminds me of the classic Goosebumps adventures where the hero wouldn’t always win in the end. The film doesn’t last quite long enough for things to get too overly dark so it works out well enough. If you’re a big horror fan then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this one. It shows that you can do quite a lot in 4 minutes. The special introduces the characters, gives us some tension in the scenes, and even brings in a villain who has a very unique design. Be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart!

Overall 6/10

Halloween 2 Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the film would be more negative.

Well, it looks like the sequel to Halloween has finally arrived. There’s only so much that this film can try to do to be good. From the start you know that it’s not going to be good, but can it at least be entertaining? Well, I’ve seen worse horror films so I’ll give it that, but this is still one of those sequels where you just shake your head. Myers has also grown a lot more powerful over the course of a few minutes as he suddenly becomes just about invincible here. Why is he bullet proof!?

The film takes place seconds after the first which is impressive. It’s an underrated approach and a super cool one if you ask me. I always like when the story picks up immediately like this. Basically, Michael Myers escaped capture last time and he decides to go right back to his goal of murdering everyone in the neighborhood. The cops have to try and stop him, but they can’t seem to save everybody. It looks like Laurie is going to have to save herself as expected. After all, when everyone else fails then it’s time to just do it yourself right?

Most of what I’m going to say here could be applied to the first film or any film in the series. That’s because Halloween follows what I’d consider to be the typical horror film outline. The only trope it seems to avoid is the animal violence one which I will give it some props there. I’m glad it was able to do that at least. The first thing dragging the film down is naturally the over the top violence. Naturally everyone meets pretty grim ends at the hand of Michael Myers. Most of the characters don’t even put up a fight or they go down without making a sound. (Rhyme intentional) Given that he has super strength and such at least it’s a little more believable than in some of the other films. Still, the body count in this film is incredibly high as nobody seems to have a way to communicate and he just takes down the whole town one at a time. It’s scary just how many people he gets and the cops never even find out about it.

Then you’ve also got horror trope #2, the terrible characters. All the characters seem to care about is getting past the friend zone. Two characters decide to hang out at a hot springs when they’re supposed to be on duty and looking after the patients. Then they can’t even tell when the other character has been bumped off. It’s also just an excuse to get a fanservice scene in since horror films seem to need that. There’s also the pointless emergency staff guy who keeps on flirting with Laurie throughout. The plot doesn’t go anywhere and I don’t even really get how the guy died. Sure, he tripped, but why would he die from that? Perhaps part of the scene was cut for the TV version or something but if there is no more context to that scene then this guy’s just a joke. He should have been written out of the film.

Laurie’s a reasonable character here. In fact, she’s the only reasonable character. She realizes very quickly that nobody else here is even remotely competent so she escapes from the hospital to try and save herself. Of course the other characters give away her hiding spot and drop the gun. If I was Laurie I’d definitely leave this town and never come back. Sam talks tough and he has a gun so he’s better than most of the characters, but he still isn’t the smartest of the characters. He plugs Myers 6 times and the guy doesn’t go down. What does he do in round 2? He shoots him 4 times. Look, if you think that this guy is basically unstoppable then you have to do all that you can to stop him. Trying to walk over and take his knife away isn’t smart so Sam is smarter than the policeman, but then go for a head shot or something. Do whatever it takes to make sure Myers stays down. Then Sam just goes back into running mode and his gun jams. Well gee…that’s just bad luck now.

Finally we’ve got Myers, but he isn’t even a character in this film. He’s basically just a zombie that is going around murdering people. I don’t think he got a single line here so maybe the film is trying to hint that he is basically dead by this point. Maybe the 6 bullets did finish him off and he is a zombie. Then again, I forget if he talked in the first film. Maybe he just can’t talk. Either way there’s not much to his character. The rest of the characters in the film just exist to die so you feel bad for them. In slasher films like this one only the main character tends to live while everyone else dies. It’s a rather tragic existence for the whole town, they were just outgunned.

There’s just nothing positive to say about the film. It’s not fun to watch and I dare say that it might be more over the top than the first film. Although I think the first film had animal violence so it was probably still worse than this film. The only positive I can say for this film is that it avoided the big 0 by avoiding the animal violence. Even then it was fairly close, but I think a 1 is reasonable. The film also isn’t particularly long so at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome quite as drastically as you might fear. Imagine this going for 2 hours? Now that would be really brutal!

Overall, Halloween 2 doesn’t try to do anything particularly clever or unique. It’s basically just a rehash of the last film. If the last film was a good movie then that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but there’s just nothing particularly good here. It’s a pretty mean spirited film where the villain has the edge throughout. Surprisingly there isn’t even a stinger here so I suppose the heroes can finally get a little peace at least. It’s a silver lining, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’d highly recommend avoiding this film as much as possible. Just stick away from it and you’ll be the better off for it.

Overall 1/10

Halloween Review

This review is of the edited TV 14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

Uh oh, it’s time for Halloween. It’s one of those iconic films that always makes you feel bad. After all if it did not exist, there’s a chance that we wouldn’t have nearly as many slashers as we have today. I’m sure they would have found a way eventually but it would have bought humanity more time. As it stands, this film did happen and it’s about as terrible as you can imagine. It’s hard to see how the sequels get worse than this one, but where there is a will there’s a way.

The film starts off with two weak willed individuals driving a van into the asylum. The brave guy keeps cutting off his partner and dashes out of the van to use the phone to call the warden. He doesn’t want to park too close so they can drive off faster so it’s a bit of a journey. In the meantime, the other driver notices someone jump on the car. She panics and decides to open the window to let this possible psycho in the car. He obliges her and throws her out so he can have fun making a get away. He proceeds to drive it back home and that’s the opening to our film. The mass murderer who was put away for life got back…because the trained professionals didn’t realize that opening a car door when someone is on the car is not a good move. The asylum is also interesting since the patients have complete free reign to do whatever they want. I suppose the justification is that this place is far removed from humanity so if they try running away they’ll never make it to the next town, but I don’t buy that. It seems like a pretty dangerous idea either way. Try not to think about the opening too much as it’s just foreshadowing for how bad the writing is.

We cut away to the main character, Laurie. She has a few more morals than the rest of the kids in school which makes her an outcast. She has to decide if she wants to stay with the cool crowd or be on her own. Her friend helpfully asks someone to take her to a party at some point and puts Laurie on the spot. That’s when she notices that she’s being followed by someone. Nobody else seems to notice though so Laurie puts it in the back of her mind. Even when a kid tells her he saw someone she laughs it off and drops a few more IQ points. I blame the drugs. It’s a shame that Laurie got into drugs, but it just reminds you that there are no good characters in the film. Will Michael Myers destroy the whole town or just part of it before they catch him?

Where to start right? Well, how about Laurie taking drugs? That was just so random and sad that it made you wonder why the film would do this. Building off of this, the characters are just really bad. Basically they’re portrayed as “mainstream” teenagers who only care about scoring and being the bad kids the adults think they are. Pretty much all of their lines are bad and none of them put up a fight against Myers. They just go down without a fight and their deaths usually last quite a while for extra grit.

The film is definitely pretty violent. Almost every character is choked and stabbed and the deaths just go on and on and on. There is also animal violence here as a dog dies so that definitely didn’t help the film’s situation at all. Honestly it was just another nail in the coffin. The film would have gotten a 0 either way, but it helps it sink down amidst the other 0 titles. It would be interesting to add negative scores, but there wouldn’t be much point and I just do that as a meme once in a while. Why did the film have to pick on the dog? He didn’t ask for this!

It’s also hard to believe that Myers has a lot of super strength and stuff just because he’s a mean guy. The film plays it off as if he is possessed by a demon of sorts which is at least a better explanation than none. Still, the heroes should be able to take him and the guy constantly escaping gets old fast. The “professionals” do a bad job of finding him since he goes just about everywhere in the city and yet they don’t see him. The doctor’s reason for not allowing the main cop to call in backup was terrible as well. Quite a few characters died so would they still be alive if the whole police force had shown up? Given the film we’re talking about I’m sure they would have all been defeated but at least they would have been around. It would at least make sense unlike this scenario where the doctor is basically an accomplice for Myers.

Ugh, you’ll be shaking your head as you watch this film the whole time. There’s nothing fun about it since it’s dark and gritty the whole time. There are no characters to root for and the only good theme in the movie gets played out. It’s catchy and iconic the first time around. It’s passable the next two times it shows up. By the rest of the dozens of times the film uses the theme, you are definitely over it. You can tell that there was a very limited budget since it seems like the film’s whole soundtrack was just made up of that one single song. Pretty underwhelming if you ask me. Unless a theme is completely amazing and one of the best ever, you can’t spam it for every other scene.

Overall, skip this film as fast as possible. The plot is paper thin and you can tell that the writers just wanted to make a slasher film and built the plot around that. Every character is annoying the film takes itself so seriously with the constant dark tone that you just want it to take a break already. The film is quite long so you’ll be here for a while and that’s why it’s impressive that there are basically no good scenes. It’s just edge after edge after edge. Think of any kind of bad scene and this film has probably got it.

Overall 0/10