Tag Archives: Movie Review

Love and Monsters Review

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It’s time for a fun little survival film. It ended up being better than I expected as it dodged some pretty big pitfalls that I had expected it to land in from the jump. It’s a very upbeat film with some solid humor and adventure so I can easily recommend it to the average movie goer. In fact, I nearly gave it a thumbs up for the romance too but the film jumped the shark at the very end. Ah well…that’s how it goes sometimes.

The film starts off pretty quickly with nearly all of humanity being wiped out after a nuclear defense against an asteroid mutates a bunch of animals into giant monsters. These monsters quickly made short work out of humanity and the survivors live in isolated bunkers. Joel is a member of one of these but he’s not too happy. Everyone at his bunker has shacked up while his girlfriend is stuck 85 miles away at another bunker. Joel also has difficulty feeling useful at the base since he tends to freeze up all the time. All he does is cook around the base and while everyone is super supportive, he has had enough. He decides to brave the unknown and go find his girlfriend Aimee. Can he survive out there?

A few solid notes right out of the gate. I liked how everyone as really supportive and they genuinely tried helping Joel out. There were no random bullies or petty characters here. This is the end of the world so you would expect everyone to band together and not let a single person feel isolated. A minor scene about this is how they all even rehearsed how they would gently let Joel down in the event that he asked to go on a mission. Then when he decides to leave, they even make him a detailed map and everything. (Which he ungratefully only looks at for a second before putting it away)

Another thing I was glad about is that humanity didn’t just roll over. The intro states that before getting crushed, our armies did take out all of the giant kaiju. So at least they didn’t die immediately without doing anything. Additionally we were also given a good reason for why they couldn’t make a comeback because eventually we ran out of bullets and people who knew how to create more. They went more in detail on how humanity lost in 15 minutes compared to multiple movies for a Quiet Place.

Now I was going to give the film credit for the romance but like I said earlier, that didn’t work out. I think any film veteran can likely see how this journey will play out but I’m still not going to spoil it. What I will say is that for most of the movie, Joel and Aimee were fairly mature about everything. Aimee was perhaps a little tricky at times even if it was a situation where she figured it would never matter. Where it falls apart is their final scene together. Lets just say it is completely undeserved and completely destroys the whole message of the romance. Talk about one scene destroying over 90 minutes of goodwill.

It’s one of those “Hollywood” type moments where you roll your eyes. If we ever get a sequel, hopefully this has no bearing on it. As a character Joel isn’t bad. He tries a little too hard to be funny and is often cringy but to an extent that’s the point of the character. Joel isn’t your average adventure lead and is completely out of his depth. He is still earnest and tries his best though. I wouldn’t say that he’s great or anything like that but he is a good character. He gets points for how he handled the final boss as well.

Then Aimee was a bit of a roller coaster for me. She was good in the intro, took some steps back near the middle with how quickly she got drunk and let her guard down, then buttoned up during the climax. So on the whole I would say she is a good character but as the essential leader of her group, she needs to keep her guard up. Leaders have an extra burden on themselves compared to other characters and while it may feel harsh or unfair, that’s just how the job goes.

Throughout the film Joel is accompanied by his pet dog, Boy. I’d say travelling together during the apocalypse makes him a pet by the end at least, but not to be misleading, they first meet on the journey. Boy is very helpful at numerous points in the film and Joel wouldn’t have survived without him. The film avoids going for the low hanging fruit of tragedy and drama here which was really appreciated. He makes for a really fun sidekick.

In general the film was really good with the supporting characters like Clyde and Minnow who show up later on. Minnow is a little kid who is really confident and doesn’t mind letting Joel know how weak he is. Then Clyde is an expert survivor who has been surviving very well all this time. The two of them make for a great team and are also very kind to Joel. They help him learn a lot in a short period of time and get him ready for the real world. They had a very strong team dynamic between the three of them.

As for the villains we get at the end of the film, they’re a bit sudden but it made sense in terms of having a true climax. Just having some monsters show up probably wouldn’t have been as intense in this case. You definitely wanted to see the villains go down after they spent a lot of time launching electric shocks and everything. So it made for a satisfying ending there, you always like to see the monsters getting some revenge of their own as well.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It had a good sense of humor. Honestly without destroying the romance message at the end this could have even gone up one more point. With monster films my worry can be on the animal violence and how badly the monsters get damaged. This time that ended up not being a big problem. Some monsters were blown up but generally it wasn’t really done in a big animal violence kind of way. There weren’t a lot of gross moments here and it also wasn’t one of those dystopias with a really jaded view on how evil everyone would be. Sure we did get our villains but by and large the cast was solid.

Overall 7/10

Unico: Black Cloud and White Feather Review

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It’s time for an anime pilot that I was really not familiar with at all. Unico is a franchise that I really knew nothing about so it’s always fun to stumble upon a hidden gem like this. It’s a fun film at least with a story that could lend itself to a lot of different events. Don’t expect it to be the next big action blockbuster or anything like that but it is pretty good fun.

The story revolves around a mysterious being known as Unico. He is no ordinary animal, he has the ability to materialize things out of nothing. Unfortunately he is also cursed and must always be removed from being around any humans. He must be alone at all times and must try to push past this. Unfortunately he isn’t always fully aware of what’s going on which makes it a bit harder to stop the curse which is enforced by a goddess who goes around chasing him.

It’s clear that there is a lot of lore going on here in the background but for now we don’t get to see too much of it. This is definitely like a little taser to get you interested in the series. The main plot here is that there is a land where pollution envelops everyone and poisons the people until they die. They have tried to rise up but the central company controlling the pollution is far too powerful. Unico is really the only hope that they have and he must hurry or a little girl will be the next one to die.

With this kind of story my biggest issue is naturally going to be how the town is just sitting there and allowing this to happen. Once you’re at the point where people are dying en masse due to pollution and the government/corporate won’t stop it, then you have to do something about it. You must become a vigilante and do what you can to destroy the facilities because otherwise you’re just going to die without a fight. If Unico hadn’t showed up, that is exactly what would have happened.

The characters are far too passive here. The little girl was nice since she was trying to help out Unico at least. I also won’t blame her for much of anything because ultimately it’s not like she could do much about the situation. She could barely move. Meanwhile the local mouse was nice since he fed Unico even though he was really hungry. The rest of the animals tended to be pretty fierce outside like the hawk that nearly finished Unico off in the intro.

Ideally Unico will be able to master his powers better as the series were to go on and by the end would manage to get some happiness. That will probably mean confronting the gods at some point and I’ll also be curious to learn more about this. In the intro he was best friends with a girl before the evil goddess got him and began the tricks but why did nobody stop her? It seems like the greek gods of old who were always corrupt and annoying so it could be that they were all just evil or apathetic at worst but Unico will hopefully get some backup. On his own he just seems a bit too inexperienced to actually be ready to defeat the system.

In a way the lore might have been too good as you’re almost more interested in seeing the gods and what’s going up there than in the actual story about Unico helping people out. They are almost two completely different genres with the contrast between the two. Meanwhile the animation is solid. It has a good artstyle that ensures this adventure never gets too dated. You can tell that it is an older animation of course but it never looks bad. The ost doesn’t age quite as well with the songs though. They’re a bit on the cheesy side and not super catchy although I wouldn’t call them bad or anything like that.

Overall, This was a fun story. At the end of the day it’s basically the length of an episode so as you can imagine it does end pretty quickly. It’s enough time to solve the main story while leaving a lot of room for the next adventure. If this sounds interesting to you then you should check it out. It’s a fairly original premise and doesn’t drag on or anything like that. At the same time I do think it would need a bit more of a hook to really rise up and break to the next level. Maybe having a supporting character who tries to get Unico his memories back but is constantly fighting the gods. That would be a good subplot but perhaps a bit too intense for the tone that this one is going for.

Overall 6/10

Next of Kin Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a classic revenge thriller. You can bet that this’ll make for a pretty intense film but the whole time you are hoping that the main character will make a move. He spends way too long just being absolutely persistent in wanting proof before making a move. The problem is that when you’re dealing with really experienced villains, getting proof is not always going to be possible.

The movie starts with introducing us to Truman who is a cop but isn’t always respected by the rest of the unit. They consider him to be a guy from the mountains who doesn’t really fit in but he does his best to overlook this and just do his job. He has a pregnant wife to think about after all. Unfortunately the town is on the corrupt side with a very active mob presence and they end up murdering one of Truman’s brothers. Truman goes to the funeral where the rest of the family swear vengeance. Truman pleads with them to let the law solve this but his other brother Briar decides to tackle this himself. Now Truman has to try and arrest the mobster responsible before vigilante justice comes through.

Now of course it is best to go through the law here but we’re talking about a big member of the mafia. You’re not going to see him just show up and bring him to jail. The mafia will fight you to the death on that and odds are that they’ve got someone on the payroll within the cops. Truman basically tries the entire film to do this by the book and it feels futile at every turn. He would have really been better off helping Briar get this over with right away.

Now Briar also wasn’t very smart about this. At one point he gets all of the villains alone in a room and has the drop on them. He decides to threaten them all a bit instead of finishing them off and that was a mistake. While his main beef was with the killer and he didn’t know which of them it was, they’re all gangsters. Why not just destroy them? He could have ended the film right there. Of course they would still have other people try to get revenge and the feud would continue but I wasn’t convinced at the reasoning for sparing them. Briar is outnumbered and in enemy territory so letting them go was not a good idea.

Meanwhile Truman’s wife Jessie was unfortunately a bit on the annoying side here. She knows all about how dangerous his job is and yet she starts complaining almost immediately when the going gets tough. I thought she would be on his side and try to stay calm but she panics so much. Additionally when she is attacked, she decides the thing to do is hide in the shower with the faucet on so she can’t even hear when Truman gets into the house and is yelling for her. That means if the attackers had gotten in, she would have been completely defenseless. Not a smart move.

Like I said in the intro though, Truman is just way too passive here. Sure, he threatens the villains from time to time but they know he isn’t going to do anything. It takes several murders for him to finally take action and by then we’re in the climax of the film. It’s a better late than never kind of story here when Truman should have been taking bigger strides to avenge his brother’s murder. That is what would have really helped him to have been better here.

As for the villains, they’re fairly generic. You’ve got Joey who is quick to violence and fits right in as the gang’s number two. He gets upset when John’s son threatens to replace him on the totem pole but that guy isn’t very smart. He is completely oblivious to how much Joey dislikes him and walks into every trap. You’re basically counting the minutes until he’s doomed. John is the actual leader of the mafia and is a much more reasonable guy but also takes too long to act.

If he was more in touch with what was going on then perhaps he could have prevented any of this from happening. Instead he talks about bonds and trust but didn’t do anything to solidify them Truman certainly gave him a lot of advance warning to try and stop this and John did not make use of any of it. At that point there just isn’t much more you can do about the situation.

While Briar didn’t handle the situation too smartly at times, he was still the most enjoyable character in the film. At least he was trying to serve up justice. This is definitely the kind of film where you end up rooting for the vigilante since nobody else is really able to get results. In general though you just don’t want to be in any city where the mafia have a lot of power.

The film can be fairly violent so just a heads up on that. The kills can be rather intense, particularly the first brother who died near the beginning of the film. The overall tone is more like a classic thriller so it’s not overly dark. Especially since all of the characters know what side the others are on. There is even a comic relief character who owns the apartment that Briar rents. He gets quite a bit of screentime here to also help prevent things from getting too crazy.

Overall, Next of Kin is a good thriller but a film that can also be a bit annoying for most of its run. The main character is too passive and then the aggressive brother decides not to finish off the villains at the last second. Definitely a rough combination there. Meanwhile the villains aren’t exactly subtle here because they don’t need to be. They just run in and shoot people whenever they want to with complete immunity. When the law fails so completely like this, it’s no wonder that some characters will jump in to complete the job themselves. It’s simply inevitable.

Overall 6/10

KPop Demon Hunters Review

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It’s time for a film that came out pretty recently and has really been making waves. The songs have certainly been going around a lot. In particular “Your Idol” gets spammed a whole lot so I was ready to see how it would work in context. The movie is pretty fun and moves at a really rapid pace. I’d definitely like to see a sequel come into the picture at some point because this one really had a lot of momentum. A whole lot more you can do with the story here.

The movie introduces us to a world where humans and demons are kept apart thanks to a magic barrier that is put into place by a trio of demon hunters. Every generation the mantle is passed on and they do this again and again. Now it is time for the main trio to pull this off and it should be easy as per normal. That is, until Jinu tells the demon king to let him try and make an evil boy band. They will compete with the demon hunters at their own game. As for the trio of heroines, their bond threatens to break when Rumi begins to keep secrets from the other two. Teamwork is absolutely what is needed here.

In a way I suppose the biggest make or break point for the film would be the music. Fortunately I can say that the music was really good. I liked all of the songs quite a bit although I dare say that the villains may have had the best song this time. The one they sung at the end of the movie was just tough to beat. I’ll have to listen to the other songs some more to see exactly how I would rank them though. This also does reinforce to me the idea that a movie with a lot of songs in a concert setting will always beat a standard musical. The songs just have way more power to them and the beat cannot be defeated.

The animation is also pretty solid. I liked the energy effects during the battle and we even got some basic choreography. Now the action is really just there as the cherry on top to the singing but I still appreciated having those action scenes there. It helps to make the film feel that much more intense than the average animated adventure would be. You do get the feeling that the heroines are lucky that the villains went for songs though. Based on how strong Jinu and the other top fighters were, they probably would lose a straight fight. The movie also had a lot of fun in particular with making the characters show off a lot of crazy faces. You can definitely say they had a whole lot of range here so you can get ready to see a lot of that.

Rumi is the main heroine so she gets the biggest role but all 3 get a lot to do. I get why she was keeping secrets from her friends since it was a touchy subject and you never know how they would react. That said, it was probably time to come clean once her voice started going crazy. At that point her issues are putting the entire world at stake after all so you really have to open things up. Meanwhile she did a good job of standing up for herself and defying tradition by the end. So I didn’t really have any big issues with her.

The best member of the trio is probably Zoey though. She just seems like she’d make for the best friend and she was always looking out for the other two. Zoey is someone who is quietly reliable and always trying to look on the bright side. Her weapon does seem like the worst one among the 3 though and it’s fair to say that she’s probably the weakest of the trio. Ah well, you can’t win them all.

Then Mira is the tough one who is ready to confront her friends when need be. I always like when a group has someone with a bit of toughness since you need that contrast. At the same time it’s not like she’s over the top aggressive or anything either so that’s what kept her from being the best member. I could see her getting a bigger role in a sequel which could definitely help her rise up the charts.

In this film all of the characters get distracted by the boy band at different times so you can tell that they aren’t quite as experienced as other heroes would be. They haven’t yet mastered how to remove all distractions from their presence. Of course that can be easier said than done. These moments are mainly just for gags of course. They’re probably a bit on the forced side but it’s not like there are a ton of these moments and the film isn’t trying to be a comedy anyway.

The best scenes in terms of humor are usually when Jinu and his squad are trolling the heroines. Now that can get pretty fun. For a minute there I was wondering if all of Jinu’s friends were going to get development but that would have been hard to do in what was a fairly short film. Ultimately Jinu is the only one to get a big role and that’s probably for the best. It helps to make him stand out even more as an exception to the rest of the demons.

Jinu is a fun villain. The guy has a lot of different faces to his personality like being a troll, a mastermind, or even just trying to be sympathetic. He’s a fairly complex fella and in the end the film handles him well. It ultimately doesn’t have this become the big romance plot you might have been thinking about. The stakes are too high for that to remain as a focus for very long. He seems like the kind of character who could have almost been the hero in another story.

After all we see that the demons are ruled by the king through force. Not all of them are necessarily evil but they are forced to hear his voice at all times and he continues to break their wills. It opens the door for a possible plot about saving some of the demons in the sequel. The rank and file do seem mindless but then you do have a lot of sentient ones around as well. This might be tougher for Rumi to convince her two teammates of than with trusting her as a demon exception. We’ll see if this leads to another schism and if the sequel decides to pursue more of a story with Jinu or not.

Overall, KPop Demon Hunters is a pretty good film. I enjoyed each area of the title like the action and songs. Granted I would have loved more of a final fight to really seal the deal. The film really flies by and ends before you know it though. As a result it can’t spend too much time on some things like the ramifications of what will happen to the demon world or how the mentor will handle Rumi’s decision. So there’s a lot that could be unpacked for the sequel but even if this ends up being a one shot film, it would have done its job of being a fun title. At the end of the day that’s all any film needs to do. If you haven’t checked this one out yet then I would definitely recommend it.

Overall 7/10

Child’s Play (1972) Review

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It’s time for a film with a lot of suspense as you know something strange is going on but you don’t know exactly what it is. Well, it definitely succeeds in being a rather eery film with the kind of atmosphere that is hard to match nowadays. That said, the resolution isn’t particularly satisfying and just about all of the characters have to consistently drop the ball in order for the film’s events to play out in this way. It makes you wish that some real adults would show up already.

The film starts off by showing us that the children in a local Catholic School have all gone absolutely crazy. They are terrorizing each other and the events are only escalating. In particular they all seem to dislike one teacher, Malley who is infamously known as Lash. The guy is a really harsh teacher, someone who demands absolute respect and holds the kids to a high standard. Another teacher named Dobbs is always saying that he wants Malley to go easier on the boys but the guy refuses. Meanwhile Malley mentions that e is being harassed a whole lot as well as his sickly mother. He blames it all on Dobbs while Dobbs says that he is crazy. Meanwhile an alumni named Paul shows up to be the new gym teacher but really doesn’t know what he is getting into.

There’s a mix of supernatural elements here as well as a more practical enemy. It’s an odd balance as you can’t totally tell where one part ends and the other begins. I assume that is intentionally left up to your interpretation. The supernatural part was also necessary because otherwise it’s just hard to believe that things would have gone this bad this quickly. There are hundreds of boys in the Catholic school and yet a huge amount of them have turned rogue. It’s all very calculated and then the victims don’t even fight back and if anything just make it easier to become the next victims. Nothing at this school really makes sense.

So that’s really a big part of the mystery that Paul needs to figure out. The guy is really out of his depth from the start though and just being away from the kids for a few minutes is enough for the next person to be turned into a victim. With speed like that, you really have to be perfect in order to prevent anything from going on. It’s an unrealistic burden that nobody can possibly live up to. And yet, that is the burden that he ultimately has to bear as long as he’s here. Honestly he should have ducked out right away but I give him bravery points for sticking it out.

He’s just not too smart about it all. Remember that at least 20 kids are going around causing these issues and attacking other students. Paul is an adult but he’s only around 20, barely older than the other students. If it becomes a 20 on 1 fight, realistically Paul won’t be able to do much of anything. Yet, he easily allows himself to be alone in an environment where there is nobody to back him up. Just no common sense there at all.

I’m also unclear why the police haven’t gotten involved. Sure, the school isn’t contacting folks, but the hospital has records and then you also have the parents who should be getting more and more vocal with how often this has been going on. By the end the situation is finally being handled but it sure took a very long while. Everyone within the school takes some blame among the faculty because they were way too lenient and slow to react.

Dobbs does his best to look like the kind teacher the whole time but does tend to lay things on a bit thick. He does a good job of always looking very concerned and only blows up on occasion. He does come off as more reasonable than Malley although that guy isn’t actually that bad. He’s strict, but never abusive or anything like that. He doesn’t lay a hand on the students and while he blasts them about their mistakes, all of the students do make a lot of mistakes. Ultimately when everyone fails like this, it does reflect most on the teacher though. So I would say he probably needs to improve on his own curriculum here.

As for all of Malley’s concerns like the terrorizing phone calls, weird magazines, etc. The main message here is to not let yourself get gaslit. When things are happening, you always have to trust yourself above all to know that it’s real no matter how many people say you’re lying. I’m a little surprised he couldn’t take a more active approach to all of this though. There is no guarantee of success for anything of course but if he had brought in physical evidence or started recording the calls or contacting the police, something could have happened. You have to disrupt the status quo at the very least. If he’s sure that Dobbs is the one doing it, then he has to do something about this or it’ll only get worse.

I would say the main thing holding the film back here is how mean spirited it could get and of course how nobody was doing anything about this. There is quite a lot of bullying going on here and since the victims can’t fight back either due to the supernatural element or full on fear, the adults had to step up. Every time they have a meeting with 0 results you have to shake your head. It felt like a film where the ending had no real hope from the beginning. So it’s like you’re on a slow ride to dark end with no hope of getting out in sight. Doesn’t quite make for the most enjoyable kind of experience right?

Overall, Not every film has a happy ending and a horror film makes that even more likely. How good these films will be can usually e boiled down to how solid the characters are and if you felt like there was at least some hope along the way. Some point where you could be having fun during the movie. That’s never really the case here and while there are several teachers, they all tend to be rather useless when it counts. The movie is very much a slow burner but when the characters are helpless to stop the impending evil, it’s not the most effective approach. If you like really sinister kinds of films with this atmosphere then you may enjoy this one but ultimately while it is a step above the average slasher kind of film, I still wouldn’t call it a good horror title.

Overall 3/10

Disaster on the Coastline Review

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It’s time for a film about the dangers of technology. A bit ahead of its time perhaps but the message still works really well today. Technology is something that will always present a whole lot of issues to everyone around and this one is no exception. When you throw in the rogue human element, then things get even worse. This makes for a pretty solid thriller film with quite a lot of players involved although ultimately a lot of the plot does revolve around some characters being really gullible/naive.

The film starts off by explaining that the vice president’s wife will be taking a train since the planes are currently on strike. As a result the government wants to be extra sure that the ride goes smoothly and they send one of their operatives to wait by the central computer base where all trains and their connections are monitored. The team is annoyed to have him there but they will have to make do. What they don’t realize is that the driver of the train has been knocked out and replaced with a terrorist. Meanwhile a big time con man has escaped onto the train as well and is using an annoyed lady as his cover. All of the characters will soon be colliding.

Now I have to say that for most of the film I figured the thief was in cahoots with the terrorist. I figured he was the inside man who would be ready with distractions as necessary but in the end it was all separate. Stuart really is just trying to avoid the people he swindled and that’s why he is being so shady. Now the romance probably still should not have worked even with the relationship dramas that Paula was having but anytime someone is quickly ready to have a beer, that is a red flag. Now to be clear, the guy was cheating on her first and while she didn’t know this for a fact, the signs were there.

So you can see her wanting to find something new but this still ends up being a rebound. She also knows from the jump that Stuart isn’t an honest man. So that’s a bit of a snag in a relationship because how does she know he will be honest about that? Trust is the biggest part of any relationship and so if you don’t have that, then it seems to me that everything else will be moot right? A train ride just isn’t long enough for this to be ready for a serious relationship even with the dramatic ending. So this part didn’t feel earned.

Meanwhile the actual terrorist has things be a little too easy. For example he has to convince the other driver on the second car not to listen to everyone telling him to stop which is what will ensure that the two trains collide into each other. To a degree his excuses make sense which is that everyone else is a terrorist trying to trip him or a civilian held at gunpoint. However, the terrorist says that the helicopters outside are here to support him and you have people waving and telling the guy to slam on the brakes. I don’t know how they could have been more clear about the instructions and he still kept on going straight. That was real lucky for the villain.

It should have been curtains right there. Additionally the thief should have been out of luck right away when Paula found the briefcase with the stolen money in it. There would be no reason to aid a villain at this point in time. So both villains were really lucky all the way. Well, luck aside it does make for a pretty tense scenario. The film did a good job with the mounting danger and ho the various characters were all starting to panic.

The writing is solid with a lot of good dialogue the whole time. Even when the computer guys are arguing with the FBI agent, they manage to stay rather civil and aren’t immediately resorting to personal attacks or anything like that. It does eventually come up of course but they are mainly focused on the threat at hand which is the important thing. The blame game and everything else can happen later on.

Then you also have a subplot where corporate actually looks pretty good for once. A CEO is put into a tricky spot when the terrorist gets his company involved and the guy is quick to take charge of the situation. He could have just ignored the situation or given a generic public statement but he prioritized the lives on the train the whole way through. Even once the cameras were off, he prepared the next steps on the investigation because he actually cares about justice. You don’t always see that so it was a pretty nice moment.

In the end I would say the movie as a whole did a good job of trying to show the brighter side of humanity. When the chips were down, everyone stood up to do their best. From the Con-Man risking his life (Not like he had a ton of options though) to the snobbish FBI agent forcing himself to play nice with the technicians, everyone was trying to do their best to resolve the situation. Some films take a jaded view of humanity while others lean on the positive and the latter can certainly be refreshing at times.

Overall, This was a pretty good movie. For the most part it’s what I would consider to be a fairly low key thriller. Yes, the stakes are as high as ever and people could die but everyone involved is a professional. You’re not seeing the same level of panic as what you would see in a modern version of this story. That would be in a completely different level without a doubt. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good story. It’s a well balanced movie with a solid beginning, middle, and ending. It’s the complete package.

Overall 7/10

Live and Let Die Review

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It’s time for another James Bond adventure. The Bond films do tend to be on the weaker side next to other secret agent kind of films but occasionally they end up surprising you. Unfortunately this is not one of those times. The film can be rather out there at times which is a nice change of pace for the series but it still does run into every one of the usual issues. As a result, it’s a film that won’t end up ranking all that high for you and instead will leave you hoping that the next one will be better.

The movie starts with some secret agents getting bumped off with ease so James Bond is called back into action once more. His mission is to go to New York and find out what is going on. There are ties to the New Orleans overlord Kananga who is head of a rather powerful operation. Something that could even end up overpowering M16. If Bond doesn’t stop this conspiracy soon, it’ll be all over for humanity.

One funny thing about this film is how Bond is 2 steps behind the villains at every turn. EACH TIME Bond thinks he has a lead or is about to get the drop on the villains, we find out that they were aware of it the entire time. He is captured numerous times and has to be bailed out on many occasions. Only luck and plot armor are enough to keep him safe during all of this. You’d be forgiven for thinking that Bond was a total amateur in this adventure.

Bond walks into a villain stronghold with no plan and so he is immediately defeated. Another time he sits down at their restaurant and falls into a trap. He falls into the same trap a second time later. These are only a few of his missteps. The villains really should have just bumped him off at that point but they do love their theatrics.

The villains also have the arrogance of not keeping their fortune teller Solitaire guarded at all times. She has the special ability to read the future so long as she never gets intimate with a man. Bond’s whole thing is that he has no moral compass when it comes to love but even if the villains didn’t know that, why wouldn’t her house constantly be guarded? How are you a pivotal player in a giant terrorist racket and yet you just go back to your home like it’s nothing after a mission? This naturally ends up in disaster for the villains.

Solitaire isn’t a particularly good heroine though as she relies too much on the cards. She allows them to completely dictate her destiny and yes, even her love life. The cards are also total trolls since they gave her an answer that would mean losing her powers no matter how you slice it. So in a way you could say that she never had any real chance of winning here. There is another heroine named Rosie who isn’t particularly likable either. Another easy score for Bond and someone who never really gets to prove her skills on the field.

It’s no wonder why all the other agents are constantly dying. Bond seems to e the only capable one around. That’s also a pretty sad thing since as this film shows, he isn’t all that great. He’s distracted too easily by women an doesn’t know how to avoid any traps. He is not the kind of guy that you want to rely on to save you. It’s just not going to work out very well in your favor.

The humor in the film can be pretty decent at times. When a character named Sheriff Pepper shows up, the film briefly becomes a full on comedy. The change in tone is rather dramatic but it works out well. The chase scene may be a bit too drawn out but it was nice to see the sheriff show up to yell at everybody. He really had a lot of confidence and so it made it easy for you to root for him.

I also appreciated the laughing villain who seemed to have some real supernatural abilities. He was tough to deal with and just kept on coming after Bond. This film delving into the supernatural like that also helped to increase the stakes, it’s just a shame that the villains couldn’t have been more entertaining otherwise. I also don’t really care about the tribe subplot with all the snakes. I did enjoy the New Orleans parade that would be used to bump off the heroes without anybody suspecting anything. That was a scene that I thought was actually super clever and both times it was used was really effective.

So if the Bond films could just stay away from the consistently terrible romances there might actually be something here. Have him act a little more professional. Meanwhile the opening credits song should be used more for total hype than for the fanservice. The songs sometimes aren’t even all that bad themselves but the images will have you cringing. The writing for the film isn’t all that bad either but everyone feels a little too easy. It’s at its best when the film is trying to be about the secret agent stuff. The gag where the driver was in on the whole trick was really good. That was an effective moment without a doubt and one of the big twists about the villain was also good. I would just say that for large portions of the film it didn’t feel like there was a ton of plot here. Certainly less so than in other films because this one got so ambitious with everything going on that it wasn’t always focused.

Overall, Live and Let Die is not one of Bond’s better films. It still has all the fanservice and one night affairs as the older films but without a lot of cool villains or action scenes to try and combat that. In fact, don’t expect Bond to be doing much of any fighting for most of this title. It can be funny to see Bond losing just about every encounter he does have without even putting up a fight but the actual plot isn’t nearly as interesting as it could have been. Ultimately this is a huge demerit to the film. I would recommend checking out some of the latest Bond films instead of this one. It simply doesn’t age well.

Overall 4/10

Riders of Destiny Review

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It’s time for one of those westerns where the main character has a reputation already. His name is Singing Sandy and I have to say that it leads up to one of the best western scenes. We have Sandy start singing as he walks towards his opponent and it felt like a Baki meme moment where everyone suddenly starts putting together who he is. The singing is just that distinctive and it was a nice touch to the film. I feel like this one would have otherwise been a lot more forgettable.

This is one of those titles where the villains are the mustache twirling types. They’re not subtle at all and basically just run over the town because there is nobody around who is actually ready to fight back. They probably should have been taken out a long time ago if the townsfolk were actually prepared for a battle and were willing to move forward. Instead they’re all doormats until Sandy shows up. I know sometimes all you need is one hero to come in and turn the tides but it does make the town look rather weak the whole time. You get the feeling that they would lose to the next gang that strolls by if Sandy ever leaves. Maybe he could teach a bunch of them about better quick draw techniques or something.

The film does make a key mistake that I haven’t seen in a minute though which is that the villains go after a horse early on and end up murdering it. You don’t really see this much beyond the horse falling but it still adds a negative vibe to the movie. They could have easily skipped that and then things would have worked out a bit better. I also think Sandy should have just taken the two crooks out at that point instead of running off. Sandy’s one of the best shots in the west and we see this in action later on. So why not just finish them off there? Would have made way more sense and saved him a lot of time.

The film has a good amount of action going on so you won’t be bored. Another solid byproduct of the runtime is that the pacing is always really good because the film is so quick. Not like there is much time for the film to drag on when it’s less than an hour long right? The romance still feels a bit rushed but that’s par for the course in these kinds of movie. The westerns always gotta squeeze in a romance somewhere even if it has no business being in the film. I guess it just works towards the wholesome ending.

Singing Sandy certainly gets to enjoy a lot of banter with the villains using his passive aggressive nature so that’s always fun. So while I would prefer an active approach, it can always be entertaining. You just have to consider the circumstance which is that the main villain owns all of the water except for the well that the heroine’s dad owns. He is trying to get that land for a full monopoly and in the meantime is ripping off all the townsfolk. Why bother playing nice with the villains at that point?

Just take them out and the town will be happy. The farmers grumble a whole lot the whole film but don’t do anything about it. This guy is going to drain them dry and eventually they’d die while being homeless. The tolerance just goes too far to crazy proportions.

It’s also different from other westerns in that the power gap doesn’t feel crazy. There are a ton of farmers running around and only a few villains in comparison. So it seems to me that it would be an easy thing for the farmers to band together instead of their daily meetings waiting for the government to send someone to help.

In short, most of the side characters almost feel like NPCs here. Even the main heroine randomly asks her father if he’s going to give into the villain’s demands after a speech and he just reminders her that (like he said about 10 minutes ago) they will be fighting against the villain to the very end.

I’ll end on a positive though that the duel between Sandy and the main villain’s top hired gun was actually really good. The singing was handled perfectly like I mentioned in the intro and there was a lot of drama here and then the lethal gunfight. Sandy’s confidence also shone through which is part of what made him a great main character. The only character who was really a good fighter.

Overall, This film probably ends up blending in with a lot of the other western titles but ultimately I would say it’s not bad. The singing angle does at least help to make it stand out a little bit. I wouldn’t say the songs/music are all that good to be honest but they do fit in with the genre at least. You hear the song and immediately think of a western film so that part is effective. Now if the film could have just had some better villains we would really be set.

Overall 6/10

Earth Girls Are Easy Review

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It’s time for a rather rough romantic comedy. This is the kind of film that comes to mind for most people who aren’t really into the genre. It’s super cheesy and none of the characters are likable. The romance is super rushed and the whole film will make you cringe a whole lot. There just isn’t much here to really enjoy. I appreciate that the film is really having fun messing around here and there is a lot of energy to the film but unfortunately it never quite makes the leap to being good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Valerie who is currently in a rather frustrating relationship with Ted. He seems to have grown bored of her and pays her 0 mind whenever he is around. She doesn’t realize that he’s been cheating on her for a while now but ends up catching him in the act. She kicks him out and is wondering what to do next when she ends up bumping into a trio of aliens who crash landed in her pool. The main one is named Mac and he quickly takes a liking to her. Well, all 3 are desperate for a girl and like her but Mac ends up being the only one with a serious sideplot. Will Valerie rebound with this alien or will she take Ted back?

I would say the first problem here is how much of a doormat Valerie is. She catches Ted cheating on her and then all it takes is a few nice words from him and she is ready to take him back again? Just a really bad look on her part. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time. This happens multiple times mind you. He yells at her about how the wedding is off and makes a huge scene with the cops…then he acts nice and she takes him back yet again. It’s just such a bad romance.

Of course the goal is to make Ted look as shallow and fake as possible, but the problem is the way that it was executed also makes Valerie look really bad. It’s a lose lose situation as a result and that’s the real problem here. They should have had her not take him back at all and throughout the film he is trying to win her over/take down the aliens. That would have made a lot more sense and wouldn’t have destroyed Valerie’s character as well.

Additionally, the rebound with the alien also doesn’t do her character any favors because it seems like she just doesn’t really know what she wants. She’ll basically take any guy who will give her attention and that’s not how you write a good main character. Her best friend is also able to easily influence her, so it further shows that Valerie doesn’t really have a whole lot of strength of will. She can just be blown away by the tide. That’s true for most of the girls in this film to be honest so it’s not like any of them looked all that good. Her best friend was nice enough but certainly not responsible in the slightest. The kind of person who will always get you into trouble because none of the fun is really planned ahead. The friend just goes off of vibes and instinct which is a recipe for disaster.

The aliens are unfortunately annoying as well. The film decides to go the route of their being brainless. The problem is that this doesn’t really make sense since in the initial scene they seemed normal. Desperate of course since they were talking about girls right from the jump but at least they did have some reason. Once they crash land, they may as well be mindless brutes with how they play around with all of the objects. Them not knowing Earth customs is one thing but they didn’t know anything. They eat Valerie’s fish, make a mess of the whole house, etc. They were super annoying and naturally this meant they were on my bad side from the start.

The film actually tries to give Mac a serious romance plot as well which will also have you shaking your head. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense. The ending is trying to be wholesome but you can’t take it seriously and that is how the whole film plays out. None of the jokes are particularly funny. The only thing I can really say in the film’s defense is that it has quick pacing. There is always a lot going on and it’s not like you are ever going to get bored.

On the flip side, the film does resort to fanservice very often. It’s clear that the writers were not super confident in their own product so they had to go low-brow for most of the film. It feels like a Charlie’s Angels experience at times. Not a good recipe for easy laughs, if anything it just shows you how desperate the film is. It certainly did not win the movie any points and by this part of the film, it’s not like it could really afford to lose any either. All around, a rough time here.

Overall, While the review may sound harsh, this movie just tripped into all of the possible issues it could land on with a rom-com like this. The most important thing you have to do in order to make this film a success is to be funny and unfortunately this one was not funny. The next most important step is to at least have a decent romance and we didn’t get that either. This is the kind of movie that serves as a warning on what not to do in this kind of experience. I would definitely recommend you to stick away from this film, especially if you disagree with the film’s title. I guess if you believe it, the film makes a strong case for this though. The aliens have every girl wanting to be with them even though they can barely talk or do anything. It makes all of the girls in this film look really shallow.

Overall 3/10

Puppet Master II Review

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The Puppet Master is one of those films where you know it’s going to be bad right out of the gate. The question becomes, just how bad is it really? If it’s only normal levels of bad then it could be a lot worse but if it’s terrible like the first film then you’re in trouble. Well, I can safely say that this one is in the terrible category. There isn’t much good to say about the film and ultimately it doesn’t justify the purpose of having a sequel in the first place. There aren’t really any new ideas and once again the characters are all losing to a bunch of tiny puppets. A true skill issue if you think about it.

After the events of the first film, the puppets go and bring the original Puppet Master back to life. Unfortunately this guy has now become looney after his death and thinks that the reincarnated version of his wife is here. We then cut to a bunch of researchers who are at the murder house to find out if psychic phenomenon is real or not. The psychic they hire definitely thinks that this is the real deal and prepares to leave but gets bumped off by the puppets. The rest of the group are also in danger now and may be picked off as well if they can’t find a way to take these puppets down. Can they actually defeat them though?

Now one thing you have to remember is that the puppets are not very powerful. They are small and weak, while also lacking any kind of true offensive capabilities. All they can really do is rely on sneak attacks. There is one exception, which is the Darth Vader looking puppet which has an active flamethrower. With this firepower it can easily destroy any opponent. Whenever a human would lose to this guy I would them a little slack. The other puppets are all much weaker though so you should be able to defeat them rather easily. Even the flamethrower isn’t too tough if you are expecting it, but the real tricky thing is if you don’t know that the weapon exists in the first place. In that case, it is definitely fair to fall beneath its overwhelming might.

The humans are all rather unlikable once again though so that’s a shame. In some ways they may not be as bad as the psychics from the first film who were all really looney but these guys can’t manage to stay focused for long either. There is a lot of flirting right out of the gate and the main characters don’t really know how to stick together against the villains. As soon as the first puppet is found (shortly after murdering someone) they should have all been on high alert. Yet, they still split up a lot.

A very mysterious guy in bandages shows up and while the heroes think he is weird, they are not overly concerned. This is now a murder scene so surely anyone who claims to live here should be a massive suspect right? I dare say that a citizen’s arrest should even be in order here. Don’t give this guy any kind of freedom or you will end up regretting it later on. The characters here aren’t the brightest but at least they aren’t actively tying each other up like in the first film so that is some progress.

A big problem that they all make it taking too long though. Like when the psychic finds out that the place is evil, she doesn’t immediately leave and instead plans to go either late at night or in the morning. Plenty of time for the puppets to take her down and unfortunately, she was unable to put up enough of a struggle to get the others involved.

Then you have the next door neighbors who are rather mean for no reason. The lady does pretty well for a little while there but then of course she ends up getting overconfident and makes a big speech before going down. This is the kind of film where you know that resistance is futile and so it does take away from the struggles. While that may be true for a lot of horror films, it is the movie’s job to try and get you to feel like there is at least some kind of chance. If you don’t think that there is any chance…well that takes the fun out of it right?

As you can expect, most of the murders are rather violent. Since the puppets are small, it takes a lot of hits to finish off the main characters and usually that means the kills are really dragged out. You’re just waiting for the film to mov on to something a bit more creative but it doesn’t happen. That’s because the movie isn’t trying to do anything too creative or subversive. It’s just going through the motions in a rather soulless way. No quality writing to help you out here.

I think if the series wants to have any chance of being better, it needs to move beyond the house in the next film. Yes, we had the next door neighbors up the road, but that barely counts and naturally the cattle started dying for the main villain’s plans which didn’t help matters. Have the puppets go into the city and then we get a war against the army. Sure it would be rather campy but that’s the case for the main movie as well. At least this could give the film some entertainment value because as it is now, it’s not even funny.

Overall, This is your average slasher from start to finish. It’s really violent with most of the characters existing only to get bumped off. It was nostalgic seeing some of the puppets from the first film but it’s not like they have grown much stronger since then. It’s still hard to take them seriously as villains at all. The whole time you are just shaking your head. I would definitely recommend giving this one a skip. There is no real reason you need to watch this movie and I doubt the sequels are really going to raise the bar all that much anyway.

Overall 2/10