Tag Archives: Movie Review

The Secret Garden Review

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Time for the next film about a group of kids. In this case it’s just 3 of them as opposed to a whole classroom but I would say the movie still works well enough. The mystery angle even plays out like a horror movie initially although of course you have to assume it’s not something quite so sinister as it would initially appear to be. I also remembered a secret garden from Secret Window which was really bad so I got concerned but fortunately this film’s on point.

The movie starts with some guys heading into an abandoned village where everyone either died of a plague or fled the scene. The only survivor is a little girl named Mary who didn’t even realize what was going on. She was quite rich and so this will be a big adjustment to her since she will no longer have maids and the like. Fortunately she has one living relative in her uncle and he is rich. The change is that he’s not really a people person and won’t even see her when she first joins the manor. Mary also hears these awful shrieking noises throughout the night. What’s wrong with this manor and is she really safe in here?

While the mystery angle doesn’t last for too long, it is a good way to kick things off. After all, she doesn’t know her uncle and he has a pretty bad reputation to start with. It’s entirely reasonable for her to assume that something isn’t quite right here. Also, she is quite spoiled initially and the staff here won’t coddle her as much as the old ones would. For example she mentioned that they would dress her and do whatever she asked. This staff is nice enough but they do expect her to be self sufficient to an extent.

The maid even asks with a laugh how Mary doesn’t now how to do basic things like picking up after herself. The maid won me over early on with how she would laugh at everything. The maid has a good sense of humor and was always having fun doing her job. That’s the best way to approach any task as it’ll make the whole thing really fly by. The maid kept this same energy up throughout and the rest of the staff was good too. This really helped to get Mary to realize what the world was really like and to stop being so spoiled. After all, she is still very well off being in a rich place with everything that she could possibly need.

Her uncle never really gets away from his aloof kind of persona but he is certainly important to the plot as well. It takes him a while to change though so it’s fair to consider him an antagonist for most of the movie. He may think he’s doing everything for the best but it’s certainly not the right approach. I did find him to be sympathetic though, characters like this who end up going on the wrong path will at least get to me if they didn’t do anything crazy and they were at least trying to help.

Dickon would likely be the best character here. He’s the first character to really treat Mary like a totally normal person. No special treatment or anything like that, he would just hang out with her and do his best. You couldn’t ask for much more out of the kid and he even introduced her to the wildlife in the area. Dickon didn’t take anything personally and was someone who could always be counted on.

Then you have Colin who also has a big role here. He can’t walk anymore and has been in bed for a long time. He’s told that he might even die soon so the kid doesn’t have a whole lot of hope left. He’s also quite lonely so he spends his days just throwing tantrums all the time. As you can probably guess he isn’t my kind of character for those reasons alone. Fortunately he also gets a character arc here and by the end he has definitely improved.

Definitely with no help from the family doctor though. In the end that’s why you would always want to get an independent, third party opinion for these kind of things. Relying on one doctor exclusively will rarely end up being a good idea in the long run. It limits the options at your disposal and definitely increases the odds of being scammed. Suing for malpractice would probably be a very good idea here.

The movie certainly changes genres midway through once we find out about the garden and the mystery is over but I would say that it still worked out pretty well in the long run. The writing is good which is the important thing. I feel like a movie with this plot would only really work back in the day. The writing has to be very good otherwise a film about a secret garden and kids realizing that the world is such a big place could end up being a little dull. If the writing wasn’t on point then the kids could easily cross the line from being annoying to just being downright awful.

The movie is mainly able to avoid things ever going too far for either of them. The Uncle probably comes the closest with how unreasonable he is. I also think the maids could have easily been less memorable in most movies but with the way the main one was laughing, it left a great impression on me right from the jump. That’s absolutely the way to make a supporting character memorable and it also added to the atmosphere initially. Does the uncle rule with such an iron fist that everyone has to be laughing at all times? These things all have normal answers by the end of the adventure but at first it gives you things to think about.

Overall, The Secret Garden is a film that I can definitely recommend. Of course, I do think you should watch this for the plot and story rather than for the mystery. The mystery just doesn’t last so if you’re watching for that then you may end up being disappointed. The garden itself isn’t fantastic or mystical in any way but it’s a good way to really get the plots together. There’s also a very nice visual trick the movie uses whenever they enter the garden. It’s something I’ve only seen very rarely but it’s a powerful technique. It helps to really make the garden stand out and in the end that is what the film is named after so that was critical.

Overall 7/10

The Happy Years Review

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The Happy Years is a fairly happy film about a kid who starts off as a troublemaker but gradually learns what it means to be a respectable person in society. It’s a solid character arc that is paced well so you aren’t bored here. The main character himself may not be very likable but the film itself was good enough where you can get past that. The writing is on point and the story is good so you can’t go wrong there.

The story starts with Stover causing more trouble for his family as he messes with the horse and town property. He’s always been a bit of a wild child but this is getting to the point of being a really huge deal. So his family decides to send him to a strict school to see if they can finally knock some sense into him. Stover is determined to go in there and conquer the place, only the kids here are quite tough. Will Stover become a nice guy or will he be beaten up by the competition?

Now, as I mentioned I didn’t like Stover much. His whole thing is that he’s always rebellious and causing a lot of trouble which naturally means that he isn’t exactly helping to make the situation any better. On the contrary, he is often making things worse just by being around. He starts trouble on the ride to the school so he didn’t even wait until he was there to act up. He always talks tough to the teachers but most of the time you really feel like he starts the fights.

The only time he didn’t start it is when he got to the school and started being picked on by the other kids. I didn’t like Stover here either though because he was talking so tough but as soon as he got off of the wagon then he became timid. The other kids intimidated him almost immediately and it would take a while for Stover to really start fighting back. I would have liked to have seen some energy a little earlier than that tbh.

Stover also gets tricked easily and doesn’t even realize that one of the teachers is looking out for him. Even right through to the end he messes up on tests and doesn’t study. I know he’s a nicer kid at the end of it all but the character arc takes a while and so by then I wasn’t really rooting for him. He just never came around for me and should have picked his battles a little more carefully.

There are quite a few kids here but one of the most important ones is McCarty. He was one of the tough kids hazing Stove initially and then after the first semester he was willing to let the kid back into the group. He doesn’t seem to hold a big grudge the way that some kids would and meant well although you can’t really defend the hazing. I liked him more than Stover though, he seemed more mature and wasn’t just picking fights all of the time. None of the kids there are perfect but most of them are at least trying somewhat.

McCarty is really the one who has to do most of the work in getting Stover on their side and he does a good job of that. He’s someone you can certainly root for. By the end of the film the kids are all united and working as a team so it all ends on a wholesome note at least. The school deserves a lot of credit here as their good reputation is evidently quite deserved. No kid stays running on the wrong track while they’re at the school.

The bulk of the credit goes to Hopkins as the teacher who never gives up on Stover. He constantly gives him chances to try and do the right thing. He’s far more patient with him than most teachers would be and it shows why he is suited to the profession. He has a sense of humor and doesn’t really take things personally. I would easily put Hopkins as the best character in the film. Without him I don’t think the film would have had nearly the same impact. Certainly it wouldn’t have been able to have been as much of an enjoyable ride as it was.

For a slice of life film like this you need quality writing and good characters. Thanks to Hopkins these two areas were successful by a wide margin. The film has a satisfying conclusion and it really goes by quickly. I would have liked to have seen more of his family since it was fun to see how his father would react in the opening scenes. They don’t get a whole lot to do in the movie though and really just have a quick role in the middle and ending as they see his progress.

Maybe have them show up for one of the Football games. That would have been fun and a good chance to have seen Stover at his best. The football subplot was a fun one and I was glad that it was in the film. What better way to build up friendship and comradery right? It’s a game where you have to trust your teammates after all and played no small part in helping Stover make the right decisions. The scenes of replaying the final plays may have been a bit cheesy and I would have cut them out but that wasn’t during a Football game so it’s a bit different. In general the only negative for the film would be that some scenes can be very cheesy with the kids so you’re just wanting the story to move on. It’s almost unavoidable for films with kids as the lead though so in light of that the film did a good job in not letting this become overwhelming.

Overall, The Happy Years is a fun enough film. With the main characters all being kids you may not find any standout characters there but the teacher is a lot of fun. The movie also does a good job of showing you the day to day adventures like being in class or on the Football field. It’s not just blasting through the story here and takes its time. So if you’re up for a cheerful adventure then this is a good title to check out.

Overall 7/10

Frogs Review

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I have to say, I had my doubts about a horror film based on frogs. After all, that has a lot of potential for animal violence and generally not being a good film. Well, it ended up not falling into that trap so I was glad about that. I do think the title is incredibly misleading for the most part and I would have changed it personally. Not like a title is going to hurt the score though. I wouldn’t call Frogs a particularly good movie but it does enough to stay afloat which is far more than I thought possible from this sub genre.

The film starts off with Pickett minding his own business as he takes photographs of the local animals. Unfortunately his boat is tipped over by Clint and Karen who were enjoying a nice boat ride. They tell him to come to their private island so they can give him a nice meal to make up for this and send him on his way. This is actually a very special occasion as it’s Jason’s birthday and that guy is the captain of the family. When it’s his birthday everyone has to attend and make a big deal of it. Jason says that nothing will stop this birthday celebration. That is put to the test when the big family starts to get bumped off one by one. It couldn’t be….and yet….could it be the Frogs taking them out??

If you told me this film was part parody I would actually believe you. The way the characters react to their whole family being destroyed can feel unreal at times. Jason is absolutely true to his word about sticking to the party celebration. Even with multiple family members dead he keeps on with his plan. The guy is certainly the main human antagonist of the film but it’s so overdramatic that it’ll make you chuckle a bit. Absolutely nothing phases the guy which is really quite incredible. By the time he takes the threat seriously it’s far too late.

The death scenes are crazy though. One guy walks into the greenhouse. I forget why he was there, but it might have just been to mend the plants or he was looking for medicine. Well, a snake starts to slowly toss each of the ingredients to the ground which gradually causes a poisonous effect. Now this isn’t a subtle poison but an obvious one as the smoke ends up filling the room. This guy…..walks towards the poisonous smoke instead of away from it…even as he sees that the snake is dropping bottles. Sure enough, the snake keeps going so the bottles keep falling and that’s it. There’s just no escape at that point but it was probably the oddest way to go out.

A close second though is one lady is taken out by a snapping turtle. Basically she tripped and couldn’t get out of the way in time…but it’s a turtle! They’re so slow I dare say you could outrun one while crawling or being on the ground. Honestly you could probably even defend yourself really well unless I’m underestimating them. No comment on the leeches death though, I guess that one’s hard to get around if they’re draining you dry at a rapid pace. I can also say the alligator death would be incredibly difficult to get around. Once you’re in the water with it I don’t see a way out so I completely understand on that one. It’s very understandable that this is a fight you cannot win.

So each of the characters is bumped off but you’re probably wondering…what about the frogs? Well, the frogs are there but they just don’t do much of anything in the field. Instead they seem to give orders as they are constantly yelling to each other in that way frogs speak. It’s not terribly exciting but evidently it gets the job done so who am I to argue with the results right? Having the frogs be the masterminds behind this whole plot is definitely interesting but I would have liked to have seen them fight more. I think the writers were probably wondering just how a frog could destroy somebody. Personally I’d go the poison route, like it’s so strong that the person can’t break free. That would work well enough.

Knowing that the characters are mostly all doomed, it’s hard to get attached to any of them. Pickett is the main character here and he’s reasonable enough I guess. He tries to stay out of the family drama for the most part which is really a smart move. At the same time, he’s trapped on the same island as the rest of them so there really isn’t much of an escape either. He’s just going to have to ride this one out and it’s tough to get off of an island like this when your enemies are all over the ocean. That’s something he has to deal with right from the start.

Clint didn’t seem like a very good guy. He wants to please Jason so that he’ll get the inheritance and unfortunately he chooses that over defending his wife. Then you have Karen who is easily the most reasonable member of the group. Unfortunately she is also hesitant to stand up to Jason which means that she delays the group in leaving until the last possible moment. That definitely doesn’t help matters for their chances of survival.

The film has a good twist ending but the problem is that it’s before the actual ending. Usually you want to have the twist at the end, at least that’s how I figure you would want it right? That’s not actually the case here though. It’s still a really good twist and I like how nonchalantly it’s handled but this absolutely should have been the final scene in the film. That would have really left a huge impact with the audience. It sets up the sequel quite nicely and that’s really how you want a horror film to end.

So, is this film taking itself seriously or is it a parody? Well, ultimately I do think it’s taking itself seriously and the victims are unironically making all the horror movie mistakes. Splitting up, tripping, etc. It’s just some of these decisions will really be having you scratch your head at how it all plays out. It’s also just a little hard to take Frogs seriously as the main villains even if they are having the rest of the animal kingdom helping out.

Most of the deaths aren’t really that violent. This is still part horror-thriller though so you can expect some painful ends. It has more restraint than most titles like this though so it should get some credit there. The writing is okay, nothing spectacular but I thought the characters were decent enough. The film will manage to keep your attention the whole way through too. You’ll even feel sad when the frogs end up crushing the birthday cake and all of the festivities. Those guys really were not holding back here!

Overall, Frogs may be a film that will have you chuckling half the time but it really does mean well. I think you may like it partially in an ironic way but that’s still enough to get it some points. I wouldn’t call it a bad film even if it’s really not very good. That’s why I have it squarely in the middle. You’ll have some fun with it, the film’s got good pacing so it doesn’t drag on and the film really goes all in on what it’s trying to do here. At the same time there aren’t many memorable characters and even fewer likable ones. There’s nothing about it that particularly would make it stand out as a good title.

Overall 5/10

Picnic at Hanging Rock Review

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Picnic at Hanging Rock takes the term “Slow Burner” to a whole new level. It feels like nothing is happening for the majority of the movie which does end up hurting the experience. Ultimately the biggest issue here is that the movie is quite boring for most of its run which is too bad since if it leaned more into the supernatural angle then this could have been a little more exciting. It doesn’t quite go in that direction though and the odd vibes the film gives off is not enough to keep it afloat.

The film starts off with the girls at a private school getting ready for their field trip. They are going to Hanging Rock this time and are instructed not to get too close or wander off from the group. Naturally they decide to go up there anyway or at least a group of them do. At first they make it fairly far up the mountain without an issue and are even dominating the mazes. One of them is complaining the whole time but the others pay no heed. Just as it’s almost time to go back, they appear to get brainwashed by some kind of supernatural entity which forces them up while one of the girls ends up running back home. There is no trace of the girls except for one who is found later on. What happened to them and how will the school stay running?

The film is definitely going for one of those unsolvable mystery type angles. Even as a concept I don’t think that will usually work out well for a film though. It pretty much guarantees that the film won’t have much of an ending which is concerning. It’s also going to rarely be very satisfying as is the case here. I wouldn’t say you’re necessarily too invested in the film as it is but it makes the whole thing feel even emptier. A huge part of the film is in trying to locate the missing girls and find out what happened but at the end of the day there were really no answers to be found here.

Of course I would say it was definitely supernatural and the mountain itself based on how it’s presented here. We get a lot of ominous shots with the mountain glaring at everyone and it explains why the girls suddenly got so dazed. There’s always a lot of ominous music as well which works well for the scenes. One thing I will say for the film is that it does a good job of making a lot of the scenes feel odd and sinister. That’s definitely pretty impressive of the film. The problem is that it’s hard to hold this kind of atmosphere for very long without something happening. The film pulls it off for the opening segments of the film but then that’s it. The rest of the film goes back into slice of life territory that just isn’t entertaining.

While it’s always debatable whether it’s worse to be boring or to be bad, everyone can agree that a film wants to avoid both of those options. If this movie had just been more entertaining that could have helped a lot. Mrs. Applewood is probably the most entertaining character because of how she is so transparent in how she only cares for the school. If there is any human antagonist in the film, it would have to be her. She’s even saddened when they find one of the girls because she thinks this will mean even more bad publicity. You don’t get a villain more obvious than that here but she really goes all in on the role. There’s never any doubt.

A lot of the characters here are the main kids who are hardly that entertaining. Albert is a kid who’s a bad influence to Michael and is just around to cause trouble. He just lazes about and doesn’t do anything except watch the girls. Michael may not do much for a while but at least once they disappear he does his best to find them. He even has a trippy dream of sorts and never loses hope that he will find them someday. I’ll give him credit there since that’s more effort than most of the characters were putting into this.

In general the town did their best though. We get quite a few scenes of the townsfolk all launching searches and investigations into what is happening and to find the girls. While none of them is successful you can’t fault those guys for a lack of trying. There were quite a few investigations but when the supernatural is at work it’s not like any of that ever could succeed. Even the girls who do return are hardly much help since they don’t seem to remember much of anything.

Edith for example is still complaining when the grownups bring her back up the mountain to try and describe what’s happening. It’s why Edith has to be my least favorite character here. Lives are at stake and she’s complaining about being tired and sleepy. That’s just super selfish on her part. She doesn’t seem to have any sympathy towards the other kids who are missing which is a shame.

Then you have Irma is found and she really seems to be in a daze the whole time too. She doesn’t know much of what happened and is really quiet even during her goodbye scene until the class tackle her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s traumatized after the events on the mountain and has a much better reason to be stunned than Edith that’s for sure. Still, it would have been nice if she could have remembered more and clued the characters in. That would have at least given us something to go on.

Miss. Lumley is probably the only really nice character around. She does her best to instruct the kids and manage everyone’s sorrow. There’s only so much she can do in such a place though. With everyone being shifty and kids vanishing, it’s not exactly an easy environment to make the kids feel welcome in. I applaud her for her efforts but don’t blame her at all for leaving. There’s just no reason to stay in a place like this.

Overall, Picnic at Hanging Rock is a very dreary kind of film. It’s never really sunny over there and at all times the film feels rather grim. Even the ending is super dark and without a conclusion to the case the characters never had much hope. If the film had any hope, the ending would have destroyed it but it was already doomed by then. Nothing really happens for the whole middle act of the film which holds it back further. Throwing in some light hearted scenes or something would have helped a great deal. Instead the film just doesn’t move forward and the weirdness of it all isn’t enough to recommend it. This is one mystery you’ll want to stay far away from.

Overall 3/10

Regarding Henry Review

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Regarding Henry is one of those amnesia films where you can’t help but wish that we could have seen more of him from before the injury. I liked his confidence and it seems like he was doing quite well for himself. After the injury he really has to change and come to terms with his life and how he can turn things around. The movie is suitably emotional but one that has a few too many twists within it that end up hurting the film as a whole.

The movie starts with Henry dominating in the court room as per usual. He is able to help defeat one guy who was suing the hospital because the guy couldn’t find the proof. Henry uses every tactic in the book including an emotional appeal and wins without a hitch. His life seems perfect even if his kid Rachel isn’t great with boundaries yet and seemingly broke something again. His family relationships aren’t great but at least he’s rich. Well, things take a turn for the worse when he walks into a store and gets shot by someone during a hold-up. He has now lost his memories and can barely function to the point where he will have to learn how to walk again. Will he be able to do this and can he be close to his family again?

It always seems to be tough to be rich and be a family man in these films. It’s only once the guy gets amnesia and is stuck home for a while that he is able to reconnect with everyone. That’s certainly the case with Henry here at least. Well, it’s always a good message to reconnect with family but I do wish that he would end up getting his confidence back. Even by the end of the film it doesn’t seem like he will be as confident as he used to be which is a shame. He’s a lot more timid now. Of course Henry is also a much better person so the change is worth it. Maybe he’ll develop that confidence again later on.

The movie really has two halves which is the recuperation period at the hospital and then getting back into his normal life again. The first half goes by pretty quickly and he has a really great therapist in Bradley. I’m not sure what Bradley’s official title is but he makes that that Henry is rehabilitating well and that everything proceeds without issue. Bradley was there for Henry during the tough times and gave good advice throughout. He’s definitely the kind of guy you want to have taking care of you since he puts his heart into it and it’s not just a job.

In the second half is where you have more of the drama. Sarah is having a particularly tough time of things with trying to keep them from losing their house or going bankrupt. She’s a bit stressed out about everything and Rachel has her school she is supposed to be heading off for and isn’t exactly thrilled about that. I’d say the second half is where the the film starts to show its flaws. It just has 1-2 too many plot twists by the end which severely hurt the characters. It adds a little more drama but I’d say these scenes just should have never happened.

First we can talk about Henry. Like I said, his original version is definitely a jerk and not someone who’s very nice to be around. Well okay, that’s pretty common but at least it’s not awful right? Well, we find out that he was also cheating on Sarah and that’s when things went a bit too far for Henry. You can’t root for him after that and it makes him a complete sleazeball. It reminds me of when Tohma got amnesia in Index and thought his old self was a jerk due to some miscommunications. Well, in Henry’s case he really is that bad and it’s a bad look for him.

Then we’ve also got Sarah who has been doing some cheating as well. Now both characters are completely morally compromised so that none of them are likable. The film should have left well enough alone and they could have been a good pair of characters. Now it’s just too tough to go back and root for them. The film should have avoided the extra drama here. Rachel’s okay at best and since she’s a kid it’s not like you have to worry about much of anything with drama for her but she wasn’t always the nicest character so I wouldn’t say that I liked her much either.

All in all that means there weren’t very many characters that I did like here. Henry’s best friend at work is the guy who Sarah was cheating on him with so that makes that guy a complete phony. The only other reasonable character beyond Bradley would be Henry’s boss. The film kept hinting that this guy couldn’t be trusted but he actually seemed rather decent the whole time. At the very least he did keep Henry employed even when the guy couldn’t really help much at all. The boss is corrupt but apparently everyone in the business was.

I do question how Henry would be brought back into his old position so quickly though. After the amnesia there is no way he could have possibly performed any of the work at the job. Especially not a position where you’re reading through law and have to make snap decisions. I think it would have made more sense if Henry was brought back on paid sick leave or something so he was still at home. Of course it’s nice that he was brought back in right away but he could barely even talk at that point in time. So it just didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

The most memorable scene in the film has to be the moment when Henry is shot though. He walks into the store while it’s being robbed and I would say Henry made a lot of the right moves at first. He was calm and tried to act normal but his big mistake was insisting on finishing his purchase instead of just walking out. Leaving is absolutely what he should have done instead of pleading his case. Seriously if a guy with a gun tells you to leave your best bet is to do just that and then you can call the cops or hide behind the door and jump him as he leaves. Either way, there’s not much benefit to trying to debate with the criminal at that point. There’s no way he’s going to listen to you, especially while he’s amped up like this.

Overall, Regarding Henry is an emotional title but I really think the film should have kept Henry and Sarah as being more likable characters. Having them both be compromised by really bad decisions which will impact their lives forever was not a good idea. At least Henry doesn’t remember this happening so it’ll feel like a different person, but Sarah always will. It just feels like this moment had no real point in the story except to add a little more drama that is wrapped up very quickly as it is. The romance wasn’t very good here already and this didn’t help. You can do better if you’re looking for an emotional kind of experience but all in all the ending is fairly happy so you won’t end off on a low note.

Overall 4/10

Black and Blue Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a police thriller here as Alicia has to try and get past the corruption to make a difference. In a way you could call this a part conspiracy film as almost literally everyone is out to destroy Alicia before she can get the truth out. It’s got enough explosive moments throughout the film to be a complete thriller but this movie doesn’t end up making it into the big leagues.

The film starts off with Alicia joining the police department in her hometown and she is looking to make a difference. Unfortunately none of her old friends seem to like her anymore now that she’s a cop. Her partner is okay but the police department as a whole seems rather bad as she is attacked on day 1 when they don’t recognize her and later on she even has to hear some cat calls. Clearly this department is in need of better personnel but before there is even much of a chance to think about transferring, she witnesses a few cops murdering a gang member. She has the footage to put them away but they got a few shots off first so she is injured. With the whole police department after her, can Alicia survive?

Alicia is a solid main character and definitely one of the highlights in the film. She does a good job of hiding out from the force throughout the movie and doesn’t waver in her quest to make sure that justice is done. We don’t get to see her fight a whole lot here but this isn’t really that kind of movie. The main goal is just to survive until she can get some help. Alicia usually sees through the traps that are set out for her which is good.

My only issue is that she can act a bit oblivious when it comes to her friends pretending not to know her. It’s apparently been something like 10 years so of course they aren’t going to be immediately jumping into conversation. Additionally it seems that the town has a really strained/broken relationship with the police so either that wasn’t the case when she left or she didn’t notice. Regardless as soon as they saw her badge that was it. They were definitely not going to be friends after that.

In particular Alicia’s former best friend. Honestly that’s no big shame because Missy was just really bonkers the whole time. I think the scene that really went overboard is when the gangsters finally see Alicia’s feed so they know she isn’t the villain but Missy tries to convince them to murder her anyway. Really? There’s no way to like Missy after that so maybe it’s for the best if they go their separate ways anyway.

Milo gets a big role in the film and he’s someone that Alicia can count on. That’s a good thing because without any allies around that would have really been awful for her. Having even just 1 teammate can make a huge difference in these things. He also does well in infiltrating the police base and helping out during the movie. Without him it’s fair to say that Alicia would have definitely been doomed here. There were just too many to get past here.

Alicia’s partner Kevin definitely isn’t great. I mean, he’s portrayed as one of the more reasonable guys here but even then he doesn’t exactly jump to help Alicia when it counts. He always tends to look the other way when crimes are going on and so while he isn’t an active participant, it doesn’t seem like he’s a great guy. Kevin just let everyone down but at least he does have a good moment near the end.

Malone is the main villain here and he does a good job of playing the field. He is always in control of what’s going on and has the villains and heroes being in fear of him. The gangsters could beat him but the partnership is mutually beneficial. You’ll still wonder how Malone can be going around openly shooting and acting like a villain but nobody tends to look closely in this film. For all we know quite a lot of them are in on the take which would also explain why Malone isn’t worried in the slightest. I do think he works well as a villain though.

The gang have a fairly big role as the big third party in the film. They’re villains of course even if they aren’t the main antagonist of the film. By the end the gangsters try to be a bit reasonable but considering that they were beating up on Milo for a while and nearly destroyed him and Alicia, you never forget that they are villains. This experience might hopefully help them not to jump to conclusions and be manipulated so easily next time. I thought they were going to be more suspicious of the intel they got throughout the movie but they actually seemed to buy Malone’s story 100% without any doubts.

Beyond that you have a few more corrupt cops like Deek running around but they don’t get a whole lot more to do. I would say part of my issue here is with how widespread this is. At first it’s one rogue cop teaming up with the NARC agents. Then we find out there are 2 more cops in on it, then this becomes 4, and gradually you wonder who isn’t on it. Even though it starts to feel like she’s in the middle of a conspiracy, presumably not everyone on the force is in on this. You just don’t get to see any actual good cops throughout the film.

I’d have liked to have seen a few reasonable characters. It’s the biggest difference between this and how an older film would have played it. The difference here is restraint. In an older title you’d probably see some decent characters even if they got bumped off. Here that just doesn’t happen. It’s quite telling that in the very first scene in the film Alicia is pushed against a wall and quickly threatened by the cops just for jogging. The police appear to be extremely aggressive in every scene that they appear in.

They’re the villain group in this film and they basically act like gangsters. You might have seen this more in the wild west but in a film set in the modern day it all feels too extreme. So that was one element that really held the film back here which is that everything feels very exaggerated. You have all the stereotypes within a few minutes, “This guy giving you trouble” one of the cops asks as he grabs his gun when the characters were having a completely peaceful chat with nothing going on.

The soundtrack is also underwhelming as I didn’t care for any of the lyrical songs. That one’s of course more of a minor thing. In the end the writing is more on the underwhelming side too. The best thing about the film is that the thriller scenes are pretty solid. We do get some decent fights in the mix even if none of them would really hold up against the bigger action titles. You’ll still be engaged from start to finish, but the whole time you feel like the movie could have been better.

Overall, The whole film just feels super extreme but not in a cool 90’s snowboarding kind of way. If I’m Alicia I would have definitely transferred to another division even after the crisis was over but good on her for sticking it out. It’s the kind of experience that would almost make you want to look for a whole new line of work. The film ends on a hopeful note that things should be better in the future now. There’s the added bonus of a ton of villains being taken down during the climax so the town should also be a lot safer right away.

Overall 3/10

Kiss of the Dragon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Kiss of the Dragon is a film that is carried completely by its action scenes. The rest of the film just isn’t able to stand on its own and as a result it doesn’t end up making it into the green. It had some interesting ideas and mixing in government secret agents with martial arts could and should have been good. Unfortunately it was not meant to be.

The movie starts off very quickly as Liu is tasked with joining Richard’s squad on some kind of assignment. Richard’s group betrays Liu though and frames him for murder. Liu’s group has one member who believes in Liu’s innocence but he is quickly murdered too so now Liu is on the run. The only chance to clear his name is a lady named Jessica who witnessed what happened but her daughter is being held hostage by the villains so she is in no position to help yet. Liu will have to free the kid first but will he be able to do all of that in time? This won’t be easy that’s for sure.

As the film goes on you learn more of the circumstances here. I had thought Liu and Richard’s groups were both criminal enterprises under different sections and it was just a case of one betraying the other. Turns out they are all government related which makes Richard’s first scene of his group beating someone near to death a little more alarming than you initially thought. That’s a huge red flag right off the gate and Richard never seems like he’ll be a decent guy. I would argue that this should have tipped Liu off right at the start but if this is normal behavior then that speaks volumes about their government group.

So the intrigue in what’s going on here is good. As mentioned, the fight scenes are really great too. One of the standout moments has to be when Liu takes on a whole karate class and shows them what’s up. Each action scene in the film feels quite real and intense. You certainly won’t have any issues with the choreography or anything like that. It flows well and not even guns are enough to deter Liu. If the whole film had been a bunch of fight scenes then the movie would have been better off for it. Unfortunately we have to get back to the story and that’s when the film keeps knocking itself out.

So the villains are big into human trafficking to the point where they’ve basically taken the whole country over with it. Jessica is one of these victims and she is forced to work in this field while her daughter is being held hostage. It’s certainly a very distasteful subplot here and the fact that the villains are so open about all of this is pretty sad. Clearly the law enforcement isn’t doing a great job here. The film is really going for max edge here to remind you that these villains have to be stopped.

Naturally they also use this as an advantage against other villains like the chump that gets murdered in the first scene. Of course he is more interested in fooling around than in being safe which makes it easy for one of the ladies to knock him out. The fanservice here does the film no favors. It’s almost like you’re grabbing the worst elements from a classic spy movie without keeping in the good parts.

As a character Jessica is okay at best. She’s not particularly likable but given her situation I wouldn’t expect her to be very nice anyway. Her life’s already been messed up to a huge extent as it is so even if the heroes win at the end of the film, it’ll be tough for her to get her life back to normal right away. I wasn’t a big fan of Liu either though. Usually I like the classic hero on the run type character who is tough and knows how to bend the rules. The hero goes in and knocks everyone out.

It’s a hard formula to mess up but this film pulled it off. The absolute worst scene for Liu is when the villains break into the soba shop and start roughing Jessica up. Liu basically does nothing. Then they decide to take money from Liu for wasting their time….and he does? Really??? That was just embarrassing. At least he tells them not to hit Jessica again as he pays double but then Liu only acts when they do hit her again. So the implication is that if they didn’t, Liu would have simply let them walk off with the money and Jessica even though he just saw how they treated her.

That’s a big no no for a main character. I get that a hero can’t protect everyone all of the time, but Ichigo Kurosaki put it best when he said that he would still protect anyone in front of him. Liu should have immediately taken those guys out instead of taking so long. It was hard for me to root for him as much after that. I mean, of course I am rooting for him against the villains but he just wasn’t a likable lead. He did well in the fights but that’s all I could say for him at this point.

As for the main villain Richard, well he’s definitely not a good villain either. In his line of work it’s rare to find a decent villain because they’re all just as edgy as possible which hurts any chance of them being a good villain. To be a good villain you don’t need to be sympathetic or anything like that but I want a villain who commits his crimes and gets the job done instead of staying back just to overdo it. In the end there’s just nothing to like about Richard. At best I will say he does get some snappy lines and it’s crazy how bold he is. The guy is destroying people left and right, but keep in mind that he is technically supposed to be a good guy so you’d think that he would keep his cover up a bit more. I guess not though….

Overall, I definitely had a lot of issues with this film. The fights were really good as I said, but the overall story needed some major work. It tries to have some funny moments once in a while but they never last long enough to really help the movie out and I would call the tone on the darker side. It feels like the villains own the city way more than they should if this is a normal planet and it’s just too easy. Like how did they stuff a locker full of guns in an area where cops are always patrolling? It’s impressive how detailed they are in framing Liu but it doesn’t seem like it should work. If you want a good martial arts film you can definitely find better ones out there.

Overall 3/10

The Omega Man Review

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The Omega Man is another film in the classic story where humanity is seemingly wiped out so one guy has to survive on his own. That said, the premise is quite different here so you find out that other humans are alive quite early on. I have to say that most of the changes in this film were for the worst though. Ultimately it’s about on the level of your classic zombie film which isn’t really a complement.

The movie starts off with World War III and the human population is effectively destroyed by the chemical warfare. Fortunately Robert was able to survive due to a quick vaccine he had at the ready. As the last sane man alive he gathers supplies during the day and then keeps to himself at night. Those who have been infected can’t move freely in the day so that at least gives him a chance. See, the infected are led by a man named Mathias and they’ve created a cult of sorts where they want to hunt down anyone who still uses technology and isn’t cursed. Naturally Robert would fall into that category.

He’s held them off for a long time but when they finally capture him he is fortunately saved by a lady named Lisa. She explains that there is a whole resistance force that has escaped infection so far. Robert realizes this may finally give him a chance to recreate the vaccine and give it to everyone. Can he pull this off before Mathias and his troops take the heroes out? Additionally, will the rest of the humans only serve to slow Robert down and get him into trouble? That tends to be how things go in these films anyway.

The movie starts off well enough. It’s pretty interesting to see the deserted town and you feel how ominous the whole thing is. We see a shadow early on and you’re wondering what that is. Is it a zombie, enemy soldier? If you don’t know the plot before going into the film then there’s definitely a lot of suspense here as you wonder what exactly is going on here. It takes a little while before the film really lets you know what the score is in that respect. The beginning is just the best part of the film to be honest.

I also thought Robert does a good job of having fun here. When you’re the last man on Earth or seemingly so, you definitely better have a good sense of humor or you’re going to end up getting bored. So he talks to himself, plays games, and just has a good ole time. Of course he is lonely but he does a good job of hiding it and keeping himself active. I think that’s really the best thing to do in this situation. He can handle himself well and has good gun skills too. He even has that science background which comes in handy later on.

Where the film starts to buckle is when we meet the villains. The group is led by Mathias as I mentioned and he’s a very annoying main villain. He’s turned the whole situation into a cult where they attack the survivors but without a cure that means his gorup is slowly dying as it is. So there’s no end game here or any possible future where they are okay. His struggle seems meaningless. The film goes out of its way to show how they are all plagued by this disease and so it’s hard to even look at the characters. They’re all badly disfigured and have a lot of issues going on. It’s a shame that they are all brainwashed so thoroughly here.

Even though they’re sentient, for once I have to say that mindless zombies would be preferable here. These villains just seem so irrational that they may as well be mindless so it’s almost worse. Then you have their designs which hold them back as well. Yeah I could have done without these guys. Unfortunately the human characters aren’t very good either. First off you have the main heroine Lisa. At first she seems reasonable, a tough fighter who has survived in this cruel world for so long.

Yet, it feels like she doesn’t remember her survival skills when it counts. Near the end she decides to go and get some groceries, but Robert wisely points out that this isn’t the time for that. Villains can be anywhere and they can make it another day or so before it’s time to leave down. Well, she leaves anyway and things don’t go very well. In theory it should be tough for these guys to catch anyone with how slow they are but unfortunately she ended up being easy pickings for these guys.

Then you have Richie….oh nooooooo! You sort of know exactly when he’s going to make a bad move here. He tells Robert that he should either murder all of the cult members or try to cure them. Robert doesn’t want to mess with these guys since he was already captured once and refuses….so Richie figures he should go over there. Richie may have had connections before but this is really just a bad idea from the jump. You really should not be putting yourself in harm’s way like this. It causes a whole ripple effect across the story. The whole climax isn’t entirely Richie’s fault but he plays a big role in it.

Dutch is mainly safe because he doesn’t do anything although you will wonder where he is. He vanishes for large chunks of the movie and the resistance doesn’t appear until the end. It’s probably for the best that he wasn’t around or things would have gotten dicey for him too I suppose. By the end of the film you just feel like everyone ended up getting in Robert’s way. Perhaps he would have died eventually by himself anyway, you could say there’s a good chance of that. You still just wish things could have gone differently for him by the end.

The writing’s not bad here even if the characters are annoying most of the time. The romance is really rushed though and definitely could have been cut out of the film. Removing those scenes would help the film and in the middle of an apocalypse who is going to be distracted by romance anyway? There’s bigger things to worry about and that can wait until after the situation is resolved. At least that’s the way I see it.

Overall, The Omega Man is held back by the characters and is held back big time by the villains. It’s rare to say that zombies would be an improvement which shows just how bad these guys are. The climax isn’t very good and the movie does not end on a satisfying note. The romance doesn’t help matters either and so you’re left with a film that has a lot of weak points. All the best scenes in the film are from the very beginning and there’s a sharp decline once the other characters come into the mix. It’s almost inevitable that some humans appear but it would have been best to have kept that to a later point in the movie. The action’s good at least so if you can get past everything else then that’s always a fun sliver lining.

Overall 3/10

The Phantom Tollbooth Review

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The Phantom Tollbooth is an old story that has aged exceptionally well. You’ll absolutely be having a good time with this movie because it’s really just a wholesome adventure all the way around. The movie goes by quickly and the fantasy world is constructed well. We may not be there for a super long period of time since there’s only so much you can do in one movie but the film did a good job of making it all memorable.

The film starts by introducing us to a kid named Milo. He’s bored because he doesn’t care much for school and there isn’t anything to do at home either. Milo doesn’t see the point in an education since he feels like he will never get to use any of this stuff anyway. Well, one day a box arrives complete with a car to a whole new world. Milo decides to enter it and is now accompanied by a talking dog named Tock. The world is currently at odds because the numbers and letters have had a disagreement so rhyme and reason were banished from the kingdoms. Milo needs to try to find a way to establish world peace or that could be game over for the planet.

One thing you’ll notice right away is that the film does a good job of playing with words. almost every word has another meaning here. For example, the “Watchdog” is a dog with an actual watch inside of him. The names are all quite clever and the world seems insane but at the same time it does run on a kind of system. Milo also ends up taking some of this in stride quicker than I would have expected. He isn’t spending half of the film asking what’s going on or anything like that which is always a good thing. It’s always a shame when a character isn’t able to adapt to the fantasy world.

Milo’s not a standout character or anything but he works well enough as the lead. He does his best to help the planet out. Milo does get into trouble at times to be sure but he always ends up bouncing back and doing what he can. In the end isn’t that all you can really ask for? Of course he definitely did mess up with trying to get the sun to rise and that was probably his biggest mistake. Even if he had the skills it would have certainly messed up everyone’s routine since not enough time had passed.

As for Tock, he’s a good sidekick to have around. He knows quite a lot and is pretty good about getting Milo up to speed in a simple way. He doesn’t overcomplicate the issues and just tells it all to Milo direct. You’ve got the two kings who are both suitably petty. I did much prefer the words guy over the numbers king though. Mainly because I think he has the better point. I don’t care how good you are at numbers, you definitely need letters if you want to do anything. Meanwhile you could make a strong case for numbers not being quite as necessary. Of course you do need both in the end but letters are absolutely the winner here.

From the various villains, the best had to be the Terrible Trivium. This guy really stole the show the instant he appeared. He suckered the characters into doing meaningless tasks almost immediately and his design is even rather fierce. You do not want to get on his bad side, that’s for sure. I would have liked more of a final fight for him of course but this isn’t really that kind of movie. He still did well to slow the heroes down and remained a memorable part of the film.

The Humbug was another fun character. I think just from his name you can probably guess a few things about his personality right? Well, you’d be right on the money there and he’s a nice contrast to Milo and Tock who are just having a good time being heroes from start to finish. So we’ve got quite the solid cast in this film and the writing is really on point. There’s no point where you feel like the film is dragging on or that the scene isn’t engaging. When creating a crazy world it’s certainly possible to make things too crazy so that it all feels forced but that’s not an issue here. The crazy logic makes sense in its own way and it makes for a fun world.

The movie is really low key when you think about it. It’s an adventure without a whole lot of danger and excitement but the quality writing and characters are what keeps this one on solid ground from start to finish. The movie’s ending leaves room for a sequel should Milo ever have any doubts again. I do think it was rather rude of him to hang up on his friend though. Keep in mind that his friend stayed on the line when Milo vanished which was apparently only a few minutes at best. Surely Milo could have waited so they could have both talked about their adventure right? It shows that the friend was more loyal than Milo was.

Overall, The Phantom Tollbooth is a fun film. It isn’t particularly dynamic or anything but it’s really a fundamentally sound film. If you ever have someone ask you what’s a good movie that just stands on its own without any huge gimmicks, this one’s a good example. No big action scenes, special effects, or anything like that. It’s just a good story and a fun watch. I’m not sure a modern remake would be able to do it justice but I would be interested to see how that all pans out. Also, while this film succeeded without fight scenes, I certainly wouldn’t turn them down if a modern remake wanted to add those. That could be rather fun.

Overall 7/10

Magic Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Magic is a film where the main character is acting really shady from the start but nobody ever notices the red flags until it’s too late. As a result the characters are really in a jam here. The puppets always make for interesting characters but with this film it feels like this is all a hallucination which takes away a bit from the supernatural factor. You could make the case that the whole thing is in his head which isn’t nearly as fun.

The movie starts off with Corky messing up at another comedy show gig with his crude puppet Fats. His mentor Merlin just tells him to keep on trying and he will get it. Eventually Corky does become a star and he is super close to making it into the big leagues. Unfortunately in order to secure his TV gig he has to go through a medical checkup and since Corky knows that he is insane, he declines. His agent Ben wants to help Corky get past this but Corky runs off to a very remote area where he meets his old crush Peggy. He figures this place will be good to hide and maybe he can win over Peggy even though she is already married. Will his insanity prevent Corky from having a happy life?

Even if Corky wasn’t crazy I would still have to root against him though because Peggy is already married. I get that he likes her but once someone is married you really have to let them go. Nothing good will come from trying to go after someone who is already married. Corky’s just not a likable character though. Look at how quickly he blows up at his agent Ben despite the guy doing his best to try and get him on the show anyway. Ben even called in all of his lawyers and they did their best. Ben was the only one who really had Corky’s best interests at heart the entire time yet Corky just didn’t care.

Additionally, Corky wasn’t even nice to Peggy early on. When he messes up on one of his early tricks he starts threatening her and you almost think he was ready to murder her there if the trick didn’t go over well. Corky is really the main villain of the film and it’s always tricky when you have the lead as the villain since you can’t exactly root for him. This doesn’t end up working out here and the only way he may have even stood a slight chance is if Fats was definitely a separate entity. I wouldn’t say that the film really plays it out that way though so in the end you have to blame him for everything going on.

Even if Fats was a real character I wouldn’t have liked him much though. The guy is always being really crude which is really the extent of his character. He will always be making cracks to get some easy laughs which the characters always find funny. Fats is always egging Corky on but doesn’t help much. I suppose he does get one stab in near the end. He’s certainly no Chucky or Talking Tina in terms of the scare factor.

The best character by far was Ben here. I’ll give him major points for at least trying to help Corky out the whole time. He never turned his back on the guy and through to the end he was going to go and look for some help. You knew he was doomed in the film but the whole time you were hoping he would somehow pull off the escape and get out of there. Now that would have definitely been amazing. All things considered, the guy did put up a pretty good fight even though he was taken by surprise and in a weakened state.

As the main heroine I can’t say that Peggy was particularly good either. She should not have entertained Corky from the start and cheating is never the right move. Duke may not have been a great guy so in that case split up first but don’t start another affair in the meantime. I also didn’t think she picked up on a lot of the red flags like with Corky threatening her early on. You’d think that would have been a dealbreaker but it didn’t really seem to leave a big impact on her at all.

Finally you have Duke who is definitely a bad guy from the start. He acts all tough when it’s a fight that he can win but at no point in the film do you feel sympathetic to him at all. He’s just not a good person and any scene with him in it is another one where you are rooting for the guy’s scene to end already. The film certainly doesn’t have the strongest cast since I would say only one character here is good.

Naturally I wouldn’t say the writing is great either. The characters don’t tend to act very realistically as described above. The only scene where I would give some good props is the stare down with Corky and Ben where corky had to try and make it 5 minutes without talking. I thought that was handled really well at least. The scene did a good job of showing how Corky just couldn’t keep it together by this point and how serious the whole thing was.

Overall, Magic is a film you can safely skip. It sort of defeats the purpose of its own story by not having Fats actually move around and cause damage. Having Corky be insane instead isn’t nearly as interesting and of course it does mean that the lead is no fun to follow around. I would have preferred to have at least seen more of the comedy acts even if I didn’t find him to be all that funny. I do think comedy shows in general are tough since you have to try and make people laugh but how often are the audiences going to be super engaged? When you’re trying to be funny is often the hardest time to get people to laugh. Ironically a little more magic could have helped this film.

Overall 3/10