Starcrash Review


Whenever you see a film about aliens, action, and outer space you know that things are about to get real. This is definitely a film that is quite solid as a result. You can expect a lot of good battles and fun dialogue with lightning fast pacing. It’s a good all around movie that has withstood the test of time and it actually does end up beating the majority of Star War titles and even some Star Treks.

The movie starts off by introducing us to the greatest pilot in all the cosmos Stella and her ally Akton. Together they commit a lot of crimes and have fun doing it. They end up getting cornered by the police though so when they escape they end up being captured by the Police. The police end up breaking them out of jail though to stop Count Zarth. They will be accompanied by the police robot named Elle and an alien known as Thor. This all seems rather trust worthy so now they need to find Prince Simon so he can assist the Emperor in stopping the Count. Can they find him? Also, what if he didn’t survive the plane crash?

There is a whole lot going on in this film right from the start. One thing you’ll definitely enjoy if you’re a sci-fi fan is all of the action. The characters are using their blasters to wipe everyone out and they even get a light saber at one point. There are a lot of hand to hand fights where Stella even gets to beat back legions of adversaries. This is a movie that knows how to get a good rumble going.

As for the visuals, they’re on point as well. It’s definitely got that Star Wars/Trek vibe to it with the spaceships all around and a lot of space fights. The pacing is on point and I’d say the writing was pretty good. You’ll always be engaged as the characters exchange tough talk and try to size each other up. Thor openly mocking the heroes was certainly fun after he took over the ship.

Now, one very forced element in the film though is that Stella’s uniform doesn’t seem to be standard procedure. It’s extremely noticeable when the heroes are taken to the villain base that everyone has super weapons grade combat suits at the ready while she’s wearing more of a Red Sonja type costume which she keeps for pretty much the whole film. It’s definitely a “really?” kind of moment.

Still, beyond that she is a fun character. Technically she is the captain of her ship and a top notch hand to hand fighter after all. It would be surprising if she couldn’t deal with this level of opponent. The trouble is that she has no real defenses though. What that means is that if the villains catch her she will be yelling for help almost immediately. Despite being the tough heroine in the film she does get captured quite a bit.

Then you have her partner Akton. He is one of those guys who is so powerful that we never even learn his full abilities. He seems to be able to manipulate vectors, fire energy blasts, see the future, use energy weapons nobody’s ever heard of before, and that’s just for starters. He can do just about anything but still gets knocked around from time to time. Still, if you need someone to have your back he’s probably the best pick you could ask for.

Elle is another standout character here. He’s a very upbeat robot who is always yelling and having a good time. While he does get nervous a lot, he is always ready to jump into the fray to save lives. It’s why he makes for a good cop and why he never gave up when going after Stella. There’s clearly a lot of history there and it makes for some good banter. He added a lot to the dynamic.

Next up is Simon who doesn’t show up until near the end. He seems like a good character though and is definitely a heroic one. Without him the heroes would have been in a sticky situation by the end. He’s definitely not very necessary though as you could certainly have not had him appear and things wouldn’t change much. Thor was a more interesting character with how confident of his skills he was. The guy was even able to take down Akton in their first fight which is no small feat.

As for The Emperor, his time control tech is super impressive to be sure. You have to wonder why he was so helpless before Stella and Akton got rid of all of the obstacles. Surely he could have done more against the Count right? The Count was definitely a fun villain though. He has a cool costume and a very classic villain laugh. This guy had a tendency to get amused quite often after all.

The minion designs are also fun. As the film goes on we meet a giant robot like something out of Ultraman that shows up to step on the heroes. Then you have a pair of robots who wield swords that can even turn into energy blades. All of this helped to really show how dangerous the army of the count was. It’s also fortunate that Elle was around with his blasters. The robot was not taking any prisoners and must have disintegrated dozens of opponents throughout the film. Ultimately the sheer numbers were just too much for him to stop.

Overall, Starcrash is a very good film. It’s definitely a blast to watch and the kind of film you really don’t see anymore. It’s a relic of its time and a reminder of the good ole days of sci-fi films. The only element of the film anywhere near a negative would be that Stella should have had a proper battle suit like everyone else. Beyond that, the film delivered with showing us various planets and introducing a lot of concepts. The contrast of Stella being extremely confident but losing most of her fights while Elle was always scared but kept beating everyone he fought made for a nice dynamic as well. With a few sequels this could have easily become the next big Sci-Fi series. I guess it wasn’t to be this time but any fan of the genre owes it to themselves to watch this.

Overall 7/10

The Skull Review


Whenever you have one of these old horror films with Peter Cushing you can expect a lot of drama and tension. He doesn’t scare easily from the villains but they do give it their best. Having a villain be an actual skull is definitely a bold move for sure. It’s not every day you have a skull floating around like this is some kind of Youtube fan video but it works rather well.

The movie starts with a guy running home because he finally got this skull he was going for. He’s so focused on the skull itself that he even tells his friend to go away after she went to the trouble of preparing for his arrival. When he tries melting the skull, it quickly takes him down for the count. It proceeds to mind control another guy to destroy the friend.

In the present, Christopher is competing in an auction with Matthew on a bunch of items. He ends up losing on a batch of evil looking dolls since Matthew overbid for them by a large sum. When asked why, the guy says he has no idea. Ah well, Christopher heads back home to his business of writing about the occult and accepting odd gifts from suspicious characters. This time the guy has brought him a skull belonging to the most dangerous murderer in existence. This could be the break Christopher has been looking for, but will it only bring him doom and despair? Only time will tell.

The film isn’t afraid to get rather crazy as well. At one point, a group of fake police show up and kidnap Christopher. They take him to a church where these guys are having a crazy ceremony and force him to play Russian Roulette several times. Fortunately luck is on his side so Christopher is able to escape and live another day. Things definitely could have been a whole lot worse for him so he should really consider himself fortunate.

Now, he does make some dicey moves like keeping the skull even once he knew it had been stolen. It seems like he’s not very particular about where he gets his objects from so long as it helps is research. So in that respect it’s not like he’s a hero or anything. Still, he is a fun character in large part due to how confident he is. Nothing shakes him in the slightest. Even as he sees multiple dead bodies he keeps it moving.

At one point he even notices that the Skull seems to keep being in a different place but he just rolls with it. The skull stares at him all night and Christopher doesn’t really care. In fact, they even have a staring contest at one point and you could argue that Christopher won that one. Of course, ultimately you get the feeling that he’s probably doomed but at least he put up a good fight.

As for the Skull, well it’s not very scary. You have doubts on if it is even alive for most of the film. It seems like it emits negative aura or something which is why anyone associated with the skull starts going around murdering people. You can make a strong case that this doesn’t have to mean that it’s sentient though, but that it’s cursed. Of course, all the stare downs do give the impression of it being alive of course.

Then by the climax it is clear as the skull is able to fly around with some retro special effects and even summon a book. So, I have to give the film kudos for making one of the most surreal villains of all time. Being unique doesn’t always mean good though. I’ll take most creatures over this guy but as a one time adventure it works well enough.

I would say how effective the film is will really depend on how much you enjoy the suspense. The characters are very slow to do much of anything. The movie is on slow burner mode the whole way through with only a few jump scares to break things up from time to time. The writing is really solid though which helps. It’s why a modern remake would have a hard time matching up to this one. At least here you get the solid dialogue between the characters and everyone talks in a rather distinguished way.

It would have been nice if Matthew had appeared more. A lot of the best scenes in the film are the dialogue scenes between him and Christopher. For example, the auction scene was handled really well. Both of these guys are rich and used to winning. So when it becomes a bit of a challenge none of them back down. They also seem to have a good working relationship when they aren’t competing. It’s part of what makes the climax rather emotional, or at least as emotional as this can get.

You can kind of tell how this film is going to play out from the start though. In these kinds of films where the villain relies on mental hypnosis to take the heroes down, they ultimately never end up standing tall against it. Without fail you can always count on the hero succumbing to the darkness which is unfortunate. Otherwise you can applaud their determination about not believing in such superstitions. It just falls flat once they actually lose to it.

Overall, The Skull is a pretty solid horror film from back in the day. The whole thing is built around a lot of suspense as each scene is played quite dramatically. The score is good with each tune underscoring how scared you’re supposed to be. Even Christopher’s character goes from being absolutely confident to slowly starting to feel some terror as he knows that the Skull cannot be beat. The very final scare scene is almost a bit humorous in how over the top it gets. So next time someone tries to give you a skull that is supposedly haunted and lets you know that it has also been stolen, you should probably stay on the side of the law and refuse it.

Overall 7/10

Assassin’s Creed Review


Assassin’s Creed is one of those video game series I haven’t played but I do see the games all over. Plenty of their characters have fought on the blog and if you’re a fan of parkour then it seems like it delivers on that. The games always have events happening in various time periods. Well, the film changes things quite a bit while taking a stab at one adventure. It’s a pretty good film although if you’re a big fan of the games it will probably be hard to get past the changes.

The movie starts with Cal witnessing his father murder his mother. The guy tells Cal to run so he does. The lead grows up as a very aggressive guy and after murdering a criminal is sent to a special jail. The staff there will be using an experimental time travel device on him so he will inhabit the psyche of his ancestor. They want him to find the golden apple or at least the location of it. The apple is what grants humanity free will so whoever has it in their possession will become immensely powerful.

So part of the film takes place in the present while parts take place in the past due to this neural link. I can say right away that the present timeline plot is a lot more interesting for me. The setting is effectively a jail for metahumans after all and you can see how things would be pretty interesting there. Down the road you could have some kind of war and if one such jail exists, I’m sure many more do. There are probably undercover bases all over.

The neural links also allow you to use the fighting abilities of your previous incarnation when you were an assassin. This means that the fighters are all very well trained so Cal goes from not having any real fighting abilities to suddenly being a top notch fighter. He’s able to take down dozens of opponents at once even though they also have enhanced abilities. His are just on another level.

I liked the fight scenes a lot here because of how stylized they are. I’ve always enjoyed the arm blade style weapons that the Creed films are well known for and they are put to full display here. You can imagine the film easily being rather violent as characters are getting ripped to shreds and beheaded but with the stylized approach most of it is actually rather bloodless. The enemies either turn into apparitions as we see what’s happening in the present or they just go down instantly. As a result despite the constant action, the film really isn’t very violent at all.

Since the assassins are meant to be rather subtle fighters, it does make sense that they wouldn’t be making much of a mess. There are a lot of fights throughout the movie so you will have no shortage of action scenes. There is less parkour than you would expect though. Cal does run around jumping on roofs and such and doing the big jumps from the games but that’s about it. It’s not something that happens super often but maybe that’s because the past doesn’t get as big a role as you would expect.

Again, that is for the best though. The present timeline is just a lot better. You have a lot of solid architecture and meetings there. Such as the corporate group led by Alan who wants to use the apple to take own the assassins. Alan makes for a decent villain although he’s not exactly a fighter so he just talks a good game.

Sofia is a much more interesting character. She is a villain because she cosigns on everything going on but you can tell she isn’t as absolutely evil as Alan. She does have good intentions even if they don’t always work out. Sofia would certainly get a big role if this film ever gets a sequel.

Honestly I would say Cal is the only other big character in the film. Sure, there are a few others like his companions in the past, present, and his father but their roles are fairly small. His father gets one of the most sudden scenes where he stabs a guard but gets finished off immediately afterwards. Also yes, I didn’t buy into the reason for why the father had to murder the mother. I don’t care if the army after them was huge, they’re assassins and escaping is what they are supposed to do best. Destroying an ally is always just a fancy way of saying you give up.

As for Cal, he’s a pretty solid character. Definitely one who is consumed by rage for pretty much the entirety of the film though. He’s gone through quite a lot and finally takes matters into his own hands by the end of it. Cal is in a pretty interesting spot for the sequel and one of the reasons why the sequel would have a lot of potential since the present should be the main focus now. There’s a whole lot more you can do with that than the past.

The film has a bit of a slow beginning though as you could say the movie doesn’t really start until Cal uses the machine. The flashback of him as a boy doesn’t really add to anything and just walking around the prison doesn’t make for the most interesting scenes. It’s a waste of the present timeline since you want to see the grand outside world and how society will react to the Assassins. That’s where the climax pays off.

As for the past, well I’ve referenced it a lot but it’s hard to be as engaged in that era. I’ve never been a fan of the past after all since the graphics aren’t as good and the backdrops don’t look as nice. There’s not a whole lot there to capture my attention at any given point. You have people dying left and right as Cal/Past Cal has to try and avenge them. Maybe if we had time to actually give some of the characters a real personality this could have worked but there was no time for that.

Additionally, you are just waiting for them to get to the present the whole time so there’s no way for it to actually leave an impact. I know the past is a crucial part of the Creed series but that’s why some of the changes here were good to get rid of that aspect. Throw us into the present for the real action. The only thing the past scenes were good for were all of the extra fight scenes as Cal took the villains down by the busload.

As for the soundtrack, it’s not all that noticeable. I would make the case we only get one really solid track which plays in the final minutes of the film. Right after the final scene in the present with the apple and Sofia’s decision, we get a theme that is likely taken straight from the games. Beyond that, it’s all rather standard fare.

Overall, Assassin’s Creed is one of those films that focuses on action over story which is always a decent move to make. It’s definitely not an all star film like Mortal Kombat or anything like that but it’s a pretty good movie. it’s fairly long so there’s a lot of time for battles and setting up the sequel. I’d make the case that a lot of the film is actually sequel bait since it’s all leading up to him escaping and the real adventure beginning. The odds of a sequel seem rather slim like with most video game films but who knows…maybe they’ll pull it off but more likely there will be a reboot at some point.

Overall 7/10

Escape Room Review


There are probably less than 10 horror films I’ve ever seen that got a positive score not counting creature features of course. This would be one of the few to make it as it was quite a bit better than I expected. The cast is actually pretty solid which is extremely rare for a modern horror title and the premise is utilized well. You can see the appeal of escape rooms after watching this although I’ve still never tried one.

The movie starts by introducing us to the 6 people who are going to get trapped. First there is the genius Joey who isn’t very good at hanging out with other people. She prefers to keep to herself. Well, one day her professor sends her a cube so that she can try out an escape room to pass the time by. She is supposed to try something challenging over the break as part of her homework so this makes sense. Next up is Jason who is a wealthy investor who probably isn’t using Robinhood so he won’t be frozen out of his sales. He doesn’t really need the $10,000 prize but is doing this for fun and since one of his best investors recommended he try it…the guy can’t say no.

There’s Ben who is at a pretty tough time in his life so he is eager to get some money. It’s all pretty simple to him, win the challenge and get $10,000. It’s similar for Mike who is a truck driver with a big family so he admits the money would be pretty helpful. There’s Danny who just loves escape rooms in general so he is eager to see if this one lives up to the hype. Finally there is Amanda who is the most mysterious of the bunch. We don’t know exactly why she is here beyond the fact that she got invited like the rest.

As you would expect, the 6 characters get stuck inside the room. They must now try to solve each puzzle before the various death traps wipe them out. If they don’t solve the puzzles quickly enough then they will be melted, squashed, and destroyed in short order. The main difficulty here will be working as a team. This is the kind of challenge that is meant to throw some tension in between the members. Survival is often your first instinct after all and all of these characters want to live. Plus they’re strangers so it’s not like they are attached to each other all that much. Can they survive this?

Horror films and survival thrillers usually go by fairly strict logic of over 50% of the cast must die minimum. If you have 10 characters starting off then 5 will due. If you have 6 then at least 3, etc. Part of the intensity here is always figuring out which characters will die and which will live. Of course that’s assuming that at least one lives but it’s extremely rare for everyone to die. That’s usually left for pure slasher films or supernatural entities like the Grudge. For a survival horror like this one you figure at least one would live…right?

Of course I can’t say who lives here. Still, I think what stands out about the film here is that the premise is actually pretty fun. The idea of everyone being stuck in a crazy puzzle house like this and having to escape is a real blast. Each character is tested to their limits and you feel like the puzzles are fair for the most part. You’re actually given opportunities to solve each one if you put your mind to it. I guess at most the only puzzle that seems like it would be a stretch to figure out was the one involving the medical equipment. That one didn’t seem very fair and balanced.

As mentioned, I also thought the characters and writing were pretty good here. Joey is a solid main character and her high intelligence was established early on in the film. She’s able to contribute quite a lot. Now, she does have a cheesy scene at one point in the film where she comes up with a plan. The plan really should not have worked no matter how you slice it since without plot armor that would be game over so even though it was kind of portrayed as she made the right call, I would disagree.

Then you have Jason who is the most confident member of the group. Even when someone dies he is ready to keep on moving. He certainly seems the most uncaring among the group but at the same time you do realize that each second counts here. Several times just 2-3 more seconds would have made the difference in each round. So every time when the characters want to stop and reflect on what just happened and hold a mini funeral in their heads, you can’t blame Jason ducking out of there. You can hardly blame the others for grieving either since it’s hard to just pick up and move out but it’s why Jason was tough.

Mike was another really fun character. He’s having as good as time as he can with this and is clearly a glass half full kind of guy. Mike’s not going to get depressed and he comes in handy with the fishing. He clearly doesn’t take well to be disrespected either so he keeps the others in line. Next up is Amanda who looks really good as well. She started off rather rocky but we gradually learn more about her character. Physically she can hold her own with any of the others as she has a lot of formal combat experience. Amanda’s another likable character here.

Then there’s Danny who loves Escape Rooms and video games as I mentioned. You feel bad for him the whole time because he’s probably the only one aside from Mike having any fun. As he said “I’m playing the funnest game but with the meanest people” which really sums up his experience here. The others are always insulting him or being sarcastic. Yeah, he’s a little slow to realize that this is for real and not just for fun but it is hard to realize that this whole thing is a scam.

The only bad character here would be Ben who is constantly raining on everyone’s parade. He goes into the games with a bad attitude and never gets better from there. Despite this being life or death he is never interested in helping out or doing anything like that. He really needs the money so you’d think he would be more interested in helping out.

Having good characters gives the film a nice dilemma. In a lot of other films you don’t care about which character survives because they’re all bad. Think of a film like “The beast must die” where every character is a cannibal or into evil practices or “I know what you did last summer” where every character was complicit in murdering an innocent guy by the road. You aren’t invested in seeing who survives because they’re all just that bad. Here you’re just waiting for Ben to be defeated but that’s about it.

As the film goes on tensions continue to rise of course so things aren’t very smooth for the characters. I also liked the scenery a lot. In particular the ice level really stands out. A lot of effort was definitely put into the backdrops. The upside down level was another fun one with the phone ringer being a signal for something to happen. Even the opening level modeled after an office building was a blast. The final level’s probably the most boring one since there’s no time to explore with the walls closing in but on the whole this was visually a very impressive film.

Overall, Escape Room was considerably better than I expected. Maybe it’s in part because this is a horror film that doesn’t feel like one. There’s not a bunch of excessive violence for no reason. The film doesn’t revolve around shock value twists. (There are shocking twists for sure but nothing that’s just there to be super insane) The characters are good, the writing is solid, and the visuals are nice. The whole challenge thing is also a really fun gimmick like Tower of God, Phy Brain, or other titles like that where you have to clear a challenge quickly or die. Even for franchises I’m not a big fan of like Hunger Games, I always like that kind of survival aspect when it’s handled well. The film’s ending is also pretty great so this really makes for a complete package. I’m hoping the sequel is able to keep up the momentum since this is a rather high bar to keep up with.

Overall 7/10

The Crawling Eye Review


This movie’s definitely a little interesting with the promotion. See, the name of “The Trollenberg Terror” sounds a little more hype to be honest and also doesn’t spoil the final boss too quickly. Although if the poster is the same then it doesn’t matter either way I guess. I decided to do a quick check and the Eye doesn’t appear until the final 17 minutes. Of that time I’d guess its screen time is probably more like 12 minutes or less when you factor in all the planning and the ending after him. To think people said Godzilla didn’t appear much in his films…

The movie starts with showing us a mountain climbing “accident” where one of the climbers quite literally lost his head. A lot of people don’t want to come to Trollenberg anymore and why should they right? Climbers are vanishing left and right and there is rarely even a trace of them. Now, that part was interesting since they explicitly say that people always vanish entirely so I guess the alien monster got sloppy on that one?
We then get our main characters Anne, Sarah, and Alan. Alan is a UN worker who has dealt with the occult before and it didn’t exactly go very well for him the last time. It was a very similar circumstance with clouds showing up and then people going missing. He gradually lets us know more about the last incident but conveniently always waits until events happen. For example, last time he also witnessed zombie survivors who tried to murder everyone but doesn’t tell anyone here until someone is nearly murdered.

Still, while he knows that this is real, he is hesitant to actually make a move due to the fact that last time there was no evidence. Then you have Sarah and her telepathic sister Anne. Anne feels some kind of urge to want to stay in Trollenberg. Unfortunately, she is a telepath who is quite susceptible to the alien’s attacks so she keeps trying to climb the mountain where she will be murdered. Fortunately, each of her attempts are always foiled or things would have gotten pretty dicey for her. I’m glad she is trying hard but you wish she could do better. In general that’s the issue with telepaths at times.

Throughout the movie she keeps on saying things like “Watch out!” “Stop!” and things like that. The problem is that her warnings are never very specific and if you listened to them then the heroes would never make a move against the villains. Additionally, she is trying to fight the enemies on her own so of course when she tries to climb the mountain then it makes the others think it can’t be that dangerous right? Even by the end of the film she just gets choked by one of the villains so her powers never end up helping. Sarah does her best to help Anne but doesn’t end up doing much in the film.

From the main characters I would say Alan is the best one. Put it this way, he didn’t want to try and tell people or the government about what was going on but only because when he did the last time he got burned for it. So at least he tried once and in this film he punches out the villains several times so you have to give him some credit there. He is also the one who comes up with the fire bombs plan which ended up being incredibly effective as well so there’s that.

As for the eye monster…well it doesn’t look great. Like I said, he barely even gets to appear and is defeated almost instantly. I have no doubts that he is actually very tough of course but….you just can’t go down that easily. Aside from the people he took out off screen he basically beat like 2-3 people max. That’s not a very impressive number. The monster’s yell is pretty intense though, it really has quite the voice so you’ll hear it for miles.

Part of the plot here is that the monster can mind control people for a limited time after murdering them. Of course…this only works if it doesn’t rip their heads off like the first guy so again I have to admit that the first scene just seems like it’s just there for shock value. The bodies all vanishing makes a lot more sense for what the villain is going for here. The humans look terrible though as two of them lose to a dead guy with an axe. The first guy you could give the excuse of being caught off guard but the second guy? I don’t think so….

The writing is pretty solid as you would expect for a retro film like this. It builds up the suspense pretty well and this could even feel like a Twilight Zone episode. You see the fog coming over to the mountain although probably due to budget reasons don’t expect to get a clear view of it. You may be reminded of The Fog horror films but just remember that this one came first so it actually had the initial idea. That’s what I like to see, it’s most impressive.

Aside from having low screen time though, the creature should have been buffed a little more though. The main characters should not be able to push it back with a single axe. That just looks pretty bad for it and one stick with some fire at the end of it should not be enough to do much of anything. Nah..I can’t buy that. It’s a giant monster, it should be causing massive damage right? If you ask me that makes the most sense so we should have had it completely crushing the mountain and storming the base. Of course the humans would be a little doomed of course.

Overall, The Crawling Eye is a good creature feature movie. Lets face it though, the movie would be even better if the monster had gotten to appear more of course but as it stands, it still made for a pretty interesting villain. What the film should have done was just reduce the amount of time put into the intro. The dialogue is all pretty compelling but we’re here for the monster. Alternately, extend the run time of the film by around 20 minutes which should cover you pretty well on that avenue and then also get you more time for the hype action.

Overall 7/10

Child’s Play 3 Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I gotta say, I was not expecting corporate to return here so that was actually pretty impressive. Once again, they have the most interesting scenes here as the board discusses what to do with the whole Chucky incident. This is the kind of story arc that could really make for an amazing movie. I’d be really interested to see how this plays out. Unfortunately, this only makes up the first few scenes and then they don’t appear again but it’s a good way to set things up. Beyond that, this is more of the same from the second film.

Chucky has returned and once again he wants to take Andy down. He tracks the kid down to a military school. Andy is now 16 so he’s a lot older than he used to be but is still having a tough time of it thanks to how Chucky ruined his life. This school is also quite extreme to the point where the leader of the military squad is an open bully that nobody even tries to stop. Andy gets harassed on a daily basis but at least he’s safe right? His world is about to get rocked one more time.

At this point you definitely have to feel bad for Andy. He’s not only lost his home and his family at this point but now he’s in a school that is shown to be quite awful and Chucky still finds him. If he fights back then people think he’s insane and if he doesn’t then more people end up dying. It would seem that no matter what he does, things end up going sideways regardless. At the end of the day Andy does his best to help out Tyler and do the right thing so this may be his best appearance. He even fought back when Shelton landed a cheap shot on him. The best part is the fact that Andy was actually beating Chucky up throughout the film but got interrupted before he could finish the villain off. Andy wasn’t playing here.

As for Chucky, he may get a lot of wins in the film as he bumps people off but in some ways I would say it was probably his weakest appearance from the three films. If you think about it, he would only attack people when he had an overwhelming advantage and was quick to pretend he was a doll again otherwise. His spell to change bodies also seems to never really work so at this point you feel like he needs to try something else or lock someone in a building before trying it so he doesn’t get interrupted.

As for Whitehurst, he may be the worst character in the film. He completely ignores the fact that someone got murdered right in front of him and then decides not to help to prevent other murders. He allows other people to get left on the spot as a result and doesn’t actually make a move until the very end of the film. That’s not a good way for a character to get into my good graces. He just wouldn’t step up when he was needed and that’s a shame.

As for Tyler, he’s a kid so you can cut him a little more slack with how Chucky was tricking him the whole time. It can actually make sense in some respects since you wouldn’t expect a toy to be evil like that. He was quick with a knife too which was important. Then you’ve got DeSilva who is the main heroine here. She’s pretty good with a gun even if that had no real payoff in the film. Where she really shines is in how she defies the bullies more than the others. She talks back to Shelton and his cronies and is also able to do pushups with ease. As a result nobody can intimidate her so she makes for a strong ally.

Shelton and his crew are definitely quite exaggerated though. I haven’t seen bullies get this much free reign in quite a while. After a while you’ll start to roll your eyes at what these guys are doing. You also know that things probably won’t end well for the main one since they never do in these films. Unfortunately as a result this film has to have the worst script and writing yet. Each character has a sailor’s mouth here including Chucky as they hurl insults at each other. It’s not surprising that the bullies would be spreading this around but why has nobody stopped them yet? This military school is definitely portrayed as being quite corrupt.

As you would expect the film is quite violent as well. The characters all die in rather gruesome ways for getting in Chucky’s way. Just when you think someone’s going to live, you remember that you’re watching a Chucky film and get back to your seat. The film definitely isn’t hiding the fact that these characters are going to be absolutely crushed because each scene lets you know that right away. The barber had been an interesting character but he had death flags from the start. It would have been interesting if he had actually been able to give Chucky a haircut but the odds of that were absolutely astronomical. Chucky just wasn’t going to go for any of this.

Overall, Child’s Play 3 is about on the same level as the second film. If I absolutely had to pick one film over the other….I would probably say this one is a tad better. It’s very close though to be sure. Both are almost identical films as they go for a lot of shock value throughout as each character is murdered in a gruesome way and Chucky keeps surviving his own death to come back for another round. His stamina and durability is absolutely bonkers. At this point he’s seemingly died almost 10 times so that’s quite the feat. We’ll see how he does in the next film and if that one can manage to top this one. I certainly wouldn’t rule it out. I’m ready for a new setting and to see how the next group handles Chucky. Surely more people would be open to the idea of an evil doll or at least banning the good guy brand after a third incident right?

Overall 2/10

Child’s Play 2 Review

This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Now this is more like what I expected the first Child’s Play film to be like. Unfortunately that is not a good thing though. This film decides to get a lot more violent and dark as it transitions from a classic horror film to more of a slasher. Chucky isn’t playing anymore and he’s just going to go around and murder everybody. It definitely doubles down compared to the first film though so in a way this lets Chucky take more names but a film relying on shock value and over the top violence will ultimately not succeed.

The movie starts with Andy having to move in with his new foster parents. Unfortunately his mother is deemed insane due to the events of the first film which is actually a rather dark ending for her since she is no longer able to protect Andy herself. Everyone figures Andy is just crazy but his new parents are determined to help him out although Phil is rather wary the whole time while Joanne thinks this can work. They are also raising a teenage girl named Kyle who is in her rebellious phase in part because she is always being taken from foster home to foster home so she doesn’t want to drop her guard. What they don’t know is that Chucky has returned from the grave thanks to the company patching him back together. He is now ready to take some names as he dominates the cast.

I have to say the first scenes with the company is probably the most interesting part of the movie though. We see how corporate is dealing with this. As expected, they want to bury the whole Chucky incident entirely. They don’t believe in a living doll or anything like that but it could hurt sales. The CEO is introduced as a very tough character who won’t be putting up with any nonsense. Getting in his way at all is definitely incredibly risky. That said, these guys never stood a chance against Chucky either way. Chucky is able to easily overpower everyone.

See, here’s the thing about Chucky. He’s technically not all that strong. He seems to have the arm strength of a man who’s always injured. He’s certainly not as strong as a grown man given how people overpower him at times but he’s still reasonably tough. The thing is, he doesn’t have much weight though. He weighs the same as an average doll so people are still able to throw him around with ease and that’s the guy’s big weakness. So you’ll notice that in most of his scenes the guy has to rely on getting people with sneak attacks or where they are unaware.

The most embarrassing death for a character would have to be the CEO’s partner. That guy just wasn’t ready for the water gun but at that point he should have quickly ran or attacked since he knew it was fake. Instead he did not make a move until it was too late. It’s a rather vicious scene for the guy but you feel like he could have made some better options to escape. I guess he was in panic mode though which is fairly realistic. Chucky keeps on destroying people in a variety of ways as the film goes on. Each method usually gets more violent than the last so get ready for that.

As for the characters, well Andy is okay I guess. He definitely hasn’t forgotten what happened but there’s just not much he can do since he’s a kid. Either way nobody believes him and it’s not like he is old enough to make his own decisions so he is constantly put in rather dangerous circumstances like when he got tied to the bed. That was definitely a rather close shave for him. Then you have Kyle who does her best to help out near the end. Her character arc is a fairly good one since she was skeptical like the rest of the characters but once she got some concrete proof she was ready to step in.

In these films I don’t blame the characters for being super skeptical because the idea of a talking doll is rather bonkers but it’s good that she moved at the end when needed. The climax certainly goes all out here as it seems like the characters have to keep on murdering Chucky over and over again until he goes down. It’s definitely foreshadowing for the third film since you already know that this guy doesn’t go down easy. So it was a pretty intense climax there but you just know the technician was only there to be bumped off. The instant he appears you know what is going to go down.

Overall, Child’s Play 2 is definitely striving to be a lot more intense than the first film. I dare say that the violence surpasses the original one when it’s only halfway in or something like that. If you’re big on horror films I would say you’re definitely better off with the first one. This one doesn’t exactly go for anything particularly clever or noteworthy. The whole film is really just an excuse to see Chucky murder everyone. Every scene practically yells out who the next victim will be. Really what the film should have done is have more of the corporate scenes. I’m telling you, that’s where the hype part of the story would have been. I’d love to see a film about corporate trying to do damage control on this. You don’t even need Chucky to appear in theory as it’s more of a social film dealing with the fallout of a horror title. Now that’s something that’s never been done before and has a whole ton of potential.

Overall 2/10

Devil Doll Review


Chucky’s not the only film with an evil doll. I saw The Devil Doll a while back so now it’s time for a film with a very similar name. The other one definitely had a lot more fun with the premise although this one plays it straight with actual shows on the dummy and a lot of ominous music. That said as you watch the film you have to decide if Hugo the dummy is the real threat or if something else is going on.

The film starts by introducing us to the great Vorelli and his dummy Hugo. They are quite famous nowadays with their ventriloquist shows. A local reporter named Mark is assigned to check this guy out and see if his hypnotism is for real. This guy’s not very smart so he brings his girlfriend Marianne to try this out. She ends up getting mind controlled on stage into a great dancer.

Now you may think that’s the end of it at least, but the reporter doesn’t believe it though and decides to push Marianne further by having her invite Vorelli to a party to stay the night. She reluctantly agrees after he keeps on insisting. Will this all turn out to be a huge mistake? One thing’s for sure, this is not going to be just any ole party.

Devil Doll definitely has a lot of ominous music even if it is the same track that plays over and over again. It’s an effective way to build up tension despite how overused it is and shows that the film isn’t playing around. It feels like half of Vorelli’s scenes are him staring into the camera as part of the hypnosis. Again, this makes the reporter look so bad since he knows something is fishy but puts Marianne in a bad position more than once.

I could have done without the mind control gimmick though. An evil doll/ventriloquist is already plenty of plot for any film. Do you also need this angle? Effectively Vorelli uses this to force an affair with Marianne and also enjoys his secretary. It’s definitely one way to show this guy as being a big villain but that’s definitely a plot that should have been removed. Not to mention that you should always be able to overpower mind control with pure willpower. Vorelli’s definitely got to be the worst character and as the movie goes on he hypnotizes people into doing more and more scandalous things.

As for Marianne, she’s okay I suppose but lets Mark push her around too push. She should have definitely said no to inviting Vorelli particularly since everyone is afraid of his hypnotism. It’s basically asking for trouble to have him around. It also would have been nice if she could have resisted he hypnotism or been able to tell someone when he was talking in her mind.

Then you have Hugo who doesn’t do anything for over half the film. That’s a long time with no action considering that the film is in theory based around his character. The thing is, the film’s title is a bit misleading. It should have been called the Hypnotist or something like that instead. That’s really what the film is about. Hugo does does have his own plan at the end and at least defeats someone but it’s more incidental than anything. If this was meant to be a red herring then it was effective.

That said, Hugo himself was not very smart at all. Why even let a hypnotists mess with you and a dummy? The whole thing seemed nefarious from the start so it’s no wonder that things finished the way that they did for him. Even allowing himself to be in a trick when the guy had a huge knife….all so risky. Of course, Vorelli isn’t the sharpest guy either so the tables tend to turn on him very quickly.

The writing for the film on the whole is pretty good with all of the retro dialogue and everything. It always makes for an engaging script but as a whole it couldn’t save this film. This film definitely seemed to be going for a much darker approach than most from this era. The whole hypnosis angle is really just an excuse to basically have Vorelli take advantage of everyone. The fact that Marianne is stuck in mind control for a good portion of the film by Vorelli just makes for a tiresome watch. You’re waiting for Hugo to take him out already.

Of course the reporter despite everything he knows from Hugo’s origin story to how Vorelli is acting like a hypnotist doesn’t suspect anything is up when Marianne says she will marry Vorelli. Why? Shouldn’t he suspect something or at least attack the guy? Instead he just goes to have a drink at the local bar so Hugo has to do all of the work in the climax. No worries, the reporter does return after everything is over. Why did Hugo wait so long before doing anything though? Maybe he’s not particularly powerful but he put up with a whole lot during the movie. All I can think of is perhaps the hypnosis was also working on him which is fairly embarrassing if that’s the case.

Overall, Devil Doll is not a film I would recommend. It’s one of those titles where the villain gets away with a little too much the whole time. Hypnosis can always be a rather dangerous plot element in that sense depending on how far they go with it. In this case it sours the whole experience. At least we did get an action fight scene with the Dummy though. There was a lot of actual back and forth with the characters swinging at each other. While Hugo appears as more of a hero by the end, he did straight up murder the assistant though who at best was an accomplice so there aren’t any real heroes here. Everyone is acting rather nefariously and for their own gains. Even the reporter put his story above Marianne’s safety. With nobody to root for, you almost wish Chucky had been here to put an end to things.

Overall 2/10

Inside Man Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

The Inside Man is a classic bank heist kind of film but with it taking place around Wall Street that’s a pretty fun twist. You’ve got everyone trying to make a move so there are a lot of plans and counter plans going on. Effectively this is exactly my kind of film because I like to see how the debates play out as each side tries to take the lead. Most of the film keeps you wrapped up in the suspense so you won’t get to see the answers until near the end.

The movie starts with everything being rather normal at a bank until a few people show up and take the whole place hostage. They do it rather quickly, so quickly in fact that nobody even dies. Clearly these guys are professionals so Detective Keith is called in since the usual guy is on vacation. Keith tries to discuss terms with this guy but Dalton, the leader of the criminals, isn’t talking. He is sticking to his demands and does not want to change his terms. He wants a jet, and a lot of assurances before he does anything. Keith can only do so much on his end but time is not on his side. After all, the hostages currently hang in the balance. Which side will give in first?

And that’s really the tone the movie is going for here. Both players are effectively facing off against each other in a game of poker. They each have an ace or two up their sleeve and a whole lot of bluffs to work with but at the end of the day one of them is going to have to make a move sooner or later. There are also a few other players in the arena though since you can’t have the film go so linearly.

First up, we have the owner of the bank Arthur. He is hiding something important in the bank and is worried that the robbers may end up leaving with it. He is forced to call in the mysterious Madeleine. She is willing to help him out since that’s basically what she does. She doesn’t concern herself with the moral implications of what is going on so long as she is paid. There are some good back and forth conversations with these two characters though as she does also make it clear that if he is hiding anything relevant to her mission then the deal is off. She does need to know a certain amount in order to claim victory here after all. It’s not as if this will be an easy or safe job for her either since she has to deal directly with the bank robbers.

For Keith this is also pretty stressful since it is effectively his first big case. There’s a whole lot riding on this one and he is given a tempting offer from Madeleine involving how this plays out. Can you in good conscience take a bribe like that? The film opens up with an exchange where Keith basically says that if you’re doing your job most of the time and take a bribe at some point, you still did a net good for society so it works out. Foreshadowing or something to subvert? It’s just something extra to think about.

The film always gives you a whole lot to think about in each scene which is part of why the film is so good. There are many different plots and storylines going on here at once and all of the characters are quite solid. It makes for a very engaging film from start to finish and one that does not have any weaknesses. The climax does not disappoint and the actual journey is also a lot of fun. There’s a lot of replay value to be had here just because the writing is so good. It’s properly engaging and all of the characters are pretty reasonable. Even the random hostages all have a good amount of personality between them so you aren’t likely to mix them up at all.

Throughout the movie, we get flash forwards where we see Keith and his partner talking to the hostages and trying to figure out if any of them were in on it. It’s a dangerous tactic because for one thing, it means that we know some details about the case. Clearly the hostages survived and the thieves were not stopped or at least the heroes suspect they weren’t. In some cases it could wreck the suspense like a certain George Clooney film I saw a while back but in this case the execution was good enough where this worked out.

The standout character here would probably be Madeleine. Her confidence is just a lot of fun and I like wild card characters like her who come out of nowhere to shake things up. The villains were also pretty solid. Dalton’s definitely a thinker and has some pretty good plans throughout the movie. He was clearly one step ahead of the other characters the whole time. There are a lot of twists involved of course so I can’t really go into the motivations of the robbers but lets say that Arthur’s secret is indeed a big one.

The film certainly paints him as a pretty bad guy relating to what’s in the box. It’s not the kind of mistake you can really just walk away from. Keeping the proof of this was also a horrible mistake on this part. Even if a part of him wanted to keep this in order to atone for it…it definitely didn’t pay off this time. It’s also hard to really feel if the guy is sincere or not. Personally I assume he probably is not. Even the shady mayor in this film seems to be a lot more trust worthy. Just about everyone is hiding a few skeletons in their closet in this film though so they all fit in rather well together.

Overall, Inside Man is a great film. It really tells a complete story with a lot of compelling elements and characters along the way. The writing is fantastic with all of the various exchanges between the heroes and villains being quite compelling. The movie even throws in a decent amount of humor here and there that works well within the scene like the debate about the trains. As I mentioned, the film has no weaknesses which is a big deal for a mystery like this. It means you can just watch straight through and really have a blast here. Even something like the hold up itself which can usually be rather vanilla was handled really well as we saw exactly how much the robbers had already planned like the scene where they split everyone up. It’s like something out of Liar Game, only the heroes don’t have a genius of their own to counter these guys. The ending to the movie is satisfying so if you like mysteries or heist films I highly recommend checking this one out.

Overall 8/10

Upgrade Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

When you think of getting an upgrade you’re probably thinking of going from cheese fries to loaded at Checkers or maybe trading in your PS2 for a PS5. Well, here we take a more violent approach to the upgrade. The film tries a little too hard with making this as edgy as possible so while it’s a pretty good premise, it’s definitely not a film that will have you singing its praises by the end. Not every film can hit the winning home run though.

The movie starts with Grey finishing a car he had been fixing and Asha returning home from work. He wants her to see the eccentric house of the guy whose car he had fixed. It’s definitely an interesting one but on the way home her electronic car malfunctions and both of them crash. Asha ends up being murdered by a group of bandits while they sever Grey’s ability to move his arms or legs. Fortunately, the guy whose car Grey fixed allows Grey to try a piece of experimental new tech. This allows him full control of his arms and legs again except that it is through the program STEM which even talks to him now. Is Grey really in control or is STEM pulling the strings? Grey doesn’t have time to think about it though because while the cops have been unable to find the guys who murdered his wife, STEM has some ideas.

The film clearly takes place in the future with all of the crazy gadgets that are everywhere. You have automatic cars that are incredibly advanced and even the buildings look high-end. Technology is moving pretty fast and Grey resents that a bit because all of the practical hands on kind of tasks have been removed. A.I. control everything now so there is really no escape. However, as Grey notes, criminals still get away with everything so it’s like the extra surveillance doesn’t even matter.

Of course the main plot of the film is about Grey trying to find the murderers and then take them down. Grey isn’t much of a fighter but that’s why STEM is here. STEM is able to temporarily take control of Grey’s body and then allow him to fight at full power. Basically Grey can go on auto pilot mode and let STEM do everything. It’s pretty handy but of course then Grey is actively surrendering his body to something else so is the price too high for this success? That’s the kind of question he has to ask himself.

STEM makes for a pretty interesting A.I. He sounds a whole lot like Hal 9000 so I think from the start everyone is meant to be wary of him. He can certainly fight well though I’ll give him that. He has absolutely no mercy for anyone who is in his way. STEM is the kind of character who figures that straight up murdering the opponents is most efficient so that’s never particularly surprising. These kind of A.I. villains are always interesting so I was on board with this.

As for Grey, he’s not quite as likable a main character. I can see why he wants to avenge his wife so going on the quest to stop these guys is a good start. He does have a habit of throwing up a whole lot though. The film has several scenes of this which is always pretty gross. While STEM does all of the hard work, Grey effectively signs off on most of it by not telling him to stop. Even when he does tell STEM to back off, it’s usually once it’s too late to do much of anything either. So he’s either all in and willing to help STEM murder the opponents or he’s not but the character can be a bit wishy washy about the whole thing.

The character cast is fairly small here as you’ve got the scientist, Grey, STEM, and the murderers. That’s pretty much it. For supporting characters you do have Grey’s mother though and the police agent Cortez. Cortez means well but she is definitely messing with forces that are a little too powerful for her at the moment. Grey is effectively a super soldier with STEM active after all and she would have died instantly upon entering if Grey wasn’t fighting back. Her options are rather limited though since how do you even know if you should take a guy down when he is being controlled?

Where Upgrade falters though is in how unrelentlessly violent the film is. We get a rather long scene of STEM torturing someone to death and all of the fights are pretty brutal as he snaps limbs and destroys everyone he comes across. Get ready for a lot of headshots and other such moments. Even the vomiting all over the place is probably another way to be rather gritty as Grey represents the audience reacting to this level of violence. The fight scene between Grey and another one of the upgraded humans was definitely good though. At least that had a lot of good choreography the whole time and made for a good back and forth battle.

It was like a comic book fight which is good. Whenever you leave that part though and get back to the murders then the film dials it up once again. That aspect definitely should have been toned down. As for the ending, I can see that one being rather mixed. It’s definitely a pretty bold way to end though and could lead the way for some sequels. After the initial shock value is over though, you may have some questions on exactly how this plays out. I think all of the questions can be answered though as you just realize that everything was a lie. With that knowledge in place, then everything does even out. After all, it just comes down to acting.

Overall, Upgrade has a pretty interesting plot. It’s a classic revenge story with Grey being willing to loosen his morals a great deal in order to secure a decisive victory. That being said, the film goes too far into edgy territory. This film could have absolutely been executed well without going so far over the top. In particular I’m never on board with the main character torturing someone to get what he wants. Grey allowing that to happen at all was definitely a shame. The film has its share of funny scenes as well although for the most part it is quite serious. If you want a film with a better blend of the two genres…then go watch Venom. You can see similarities between the two of them but Venom just handled all of this better.

Overall 3/10