Tag Archives: Thriller

The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb Review

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It’s time to look at an old Mummy film. Unfortunately this one isn’t particularly good, but I don’t think you will find this all that surprising. After all, the Mummy films are rarely all that good and this is the Hammer version. Hammer pretty much never gets anything right so why would they start now? Just think about it….these guys aren’t the ones you want to write your film. As a result we get a bunch of unlikable characters thrown into situations where it is hard to be sympathetic to them.

The film starts out with John and the gang digging up a mummy. The locals don’t like this since mummies bring a lot of curses with them so they try to murder the heroes. The main characters fight back and eventually with the help of the rich Alexander they get the Mummy out. Alexander is your typical rich CEO who wants to make even more money so he thinks that the curse will be a great way of attracting people over to his shows. Honestly….he’s not wrong. It’s working pretty well, but then the Mummy escapes and starts to murder people. John will have to figure out a way to stop the Mummy, but he also has to figure out a way to stop Adam from stealing his fiance Annette. Will he be focused enough to achieve both objectives or forfeit both?

Right away you can see one of the problems here…Annette. So, she is supposedly serious about John and yet the instant Adam shows up she quickly starts cheating on John and is ready to abandon him. This essentially means that she was fake all along or she was only in it for the money. I can’t imagine that John has that much cash so it’s a little iffy, but it’s all that I’ve got. So, this wrecks Annette’s character, but it also makes John look bad since he never even confronts her about this. He basically just watches and once Annette is ready to take him back he’s ready as well. The film ends before we can really see the fallout but I would have liked to see them break up before the film ends.

Also, before it got the far shouldn’t John have fought for her? It’s a debatable point since sometimes it’s best to just let someone go if they’re going to be tempted away that easily. At the same time, you gotta make some kind of move right? Leave or stay but just watching makes John look sooooo weak. Then we’ve got the villain Adam. Aside from the fact that he acts obviously evil from the start, his plan is just pretty bad. He is cursed with immortality and the only way he can die is if the Mummy murders him. I personally think he overrates his healing factor, but even if it is true, he has to go to an awful lot of work just to die a very painful death. There’s nothing particularly likable or interesting about Adam.

The only good character here is Alexander. As I mentioned he is a bit generic, but I really like the rich CEO angle. He wants to make a quick buck and is honest about how petty he is. You have to appreciate how straight forward the guy is. You know from the start that he is definitely going to die, but even with that I have to say that I was rooting for him. He isn’t scared of mummies and curses the way that everyone else is. Alexander holds his ground all the way to the end as a good character should. He should have been the main character and it would have been cool to see him take down the Mummy personally.

As for the Mummy, I’m afraid that he is also a disgrace here. The guy can barely move and hie design is just awful. It’s almost like the movie is doing its best to mock the guy here. The only way he hits anyone is when they trip or are being held back by another character. He is also weak against chanting, but is still able to back hand Adam so I’ll give him some props there. He also destroys his followers when they wish for it so you could argue that he is taking commands. This version of the Mummy is the closest we will get to a mindless monster.

The whole time you’re watching this film you’re going to be waiting for a character to make a sensible choice. Unfortunately it just never happens. The Mummy’s followers are both suicidal and end up letting him murder them. The heroes are either not courageous enough to do anything like John or they are easily swayed and can’t be trusted. In case you weren’t sure, I thought the writing in this film wasn’t particularly good either. At best I can at least say that the film’s pacing wasn’t bad. It’s a pretty quick adventure and isn’t given enough time to drag on.

Overall, The Mummy’s Tomb could and should have been a lot better. As it stands, it’s a fairly annoying film that just isn’t all that enjoyable. There’s really not much to see here and you’d be better off watching one of the other Mummy films. I don’t know why these companies have so much trouble with the Mummy. In theory it’s a concept that should work quite well. The Mummy got the short end of the stick on his first attempt at life and now he wants a re-do. Where’s the harm in that? Yet, the Mummy doesn’t get to appear for very long in some of these films. It’s a shame.

Overall 3/10

Strait-Jacket Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror film by the name of strait jacket and like the Tingler it is ready with a few twists and turn in the plot. It’s always good when a film throws in a few misdirects to keep you busy as long as they make sense and have some kind of purpose. I do think this film pulled off the twist but it still couldn’t save itself from falling into a few holes.

The basic plot is that Lucy was away from home on a business trip. During her absence the husband decided to cheat on her with someone else. What he didn’t realize was that Lucy had caught the early train back home so she arrived in time to see this. The guy didn’t notice her arrival until it was too late and she managed to destroy both of them. She was sent away for 30 years but now she is back and hoping to live a normal life once more. Her daughter, Carol, wants everything to go back to how they once were, but is that even possible?

There are a bunch of other characters wandering around and are ready to muddle the plot as well. This includes the fiance to the daughter who just so happens to be rich and his parents. They don’t want the main two to get married and are ready to stop this relationship in its tracks. Then you’ve got the nice maid who helps out around the house and a mean Gardner who makes it clear that he doesn’t take orders from anyone. People start to get axed just like how the mother got rid of the competition. Has Lucy descended into madness or is someone setting her up?

Now, how well the twist works may depend on how you feel about the mother’s opening scene. After all, she was betrayed and so she fought back. The context is a whole lot different than most other murderers in these kinds of films. She was never actually crazy and just wasn’t gonna let the guy get away with it. It will probably feel very far fetched to see her going back to getting anyone else. Of course, as a horror film that is always a possibility. Meanwhile you will be suspecting someone from the main cast. I’d say that there are only 3 reasonable suspects among them but I’ll stop there.

Unfortunately the film does make the big mistake of throwing in animal violence. See, the main character’s own a farm and they believe in caging their chickens. Naturally we also have to see them chop one and the whole thing is pretty bad. Cutting out that scene/pointless subplot would have really gone a long way. I suppose that all of this does help to tip you off to the fact that something definitely isn’t right here.

The final action scene is definitely pretty intense though as the villain has a cool design. The whole thing is basically perfect even if it’s a little plot convenient. Getting into the house is way too easy for all parties involved. I get that this was back in the old days where everyone was a friend, but just leaving your door open throughout the night is asking for trouble. In particular you will feel bad for the father who just wanted to drink his milk. Sure, the guy probably should have gotten a little more involved with the marriage situation but at least he wasn’t actively opposed to it. He should have been less of a target than the wife. Of course, if you’re planning on bumping them both off then I suppose it makes sense to take him out first.

We’ve also got the corrupt butcher guy who was hired on for some reason. I never get why the main characters hire some super shady guy and then put up with how he acts throughout. They are the ones with the power here, just fire the guy and be done with it. Instead he throws around some threats and the main characters basically just have to shake in their boots. The fiance character wasn’t much better honestly. That’s because he is treated like a normal main character and yet he comes very close to cheating on Carol which is what Lucy was afraid of. The guy has no self control at all.

While the film does perform some of the plot twists pretty well, there are also some obnoxious red herrings that don’t need to be here. The first of which is certainly the scene with Lucy trying to act younger. The music takes her over and suddenly she becomes a huge flirt who can’t control herself. That’s a very big 180. Couldn’t she have dressed younger while staying mature? It defeats the whole purpose of getting a second chance at youth if you also lose the knowledge of being older along with it. This plot never really plays into the film in a realistic way. At times she just acts a little too crazy…so maybe Lucy always was insane.

Then we have the psych guy show up to basically tell Lucy that she’s crazy and has got to go. He’s not the smartest guy for a plethora of reasons. One of which is that he should have his guard up since he is dealing with someone who has murdered in the past. Even if the rehabilitation is complete you’d think that he would at least be prepared for anything right? Well, that’s not the case here and it certainly ended up coming back to haunt him. Then we’ve got the brother Bill who doesn’t really get much of a role here. He’s mostly just around as a sound board for the other characters.

Overall, Strait Jacket is a pretty interesting thriller. It makes it share of mistakes so I won’t call it a good film, but I will say that it does put in an effort. The film at least goes through the motions of forcing you to think a little. I also did like the ending with how happy it got all of a sudden compared to the sad scene that had just played. It’s time to try to make things all right again and it’s good that the character isn’t going to take the situation too hard. Who knows, with a few years of patience and talking maybe they’ll all get their happily ever after. In the mean time I would recommend getting some tickets for the Broly film coming out this year (In Japan) if you want a spooky, but epic film. That one’s going to be intense!

Overall 3/10

Sometimes They Come Back Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

When you see a film from Stephen King you typically get the feeling that it’s not going to be good. The guy loves making his books as gritty and over the top as possible. Not saying that he can’t have a good book, but I get the feeling that the vast majority are pretty bad. This one definitely continues that streak and is just so dark and gruesome that you’ll want to take out a few hot pockets to make it through this film. Sometimes the Razzie nominations come back, but sometimes they don’t.

The film starts with Jim moving back to the town that almost ended his life many years ago when bullies destroyed his brother. He swore that he would never come back, but the cash lured him in. That’s how it always starts. You’ve got a nice life situation, decent pay and a good atmosphere. Then someone offers you extra money to do something dangerous and you take it…not knowing that it will be the end. Jim took this risk and as a result his family is now in danger. The teens who attacked those 20+ years ago and got hit by a train are now coming back to life. They are murdering kids in Jim’s class (Jim’s a teacher) and taking their place. Nobody can stop these guys since they have regeneration and super strength. Gradually they all come back and Jim is forced to have one last confrontation with them. Can he prove that he has grown stronger over the years or will he have to beg them for some help?

Well, where to start here? I guess lets talk about tired horror trope #78: Overpowered villains. As always the main characters can’t really do anything against these villains. They are stronger than humans and bullet proof. What can Jim reasonably do about all of this? He does try to defend himself at times but they just beat him with a single punch and call it a day. He’s just plain stumped at that point and it’s hard to even point the blame at him. Of course the moral is that he has to move on, but whether he does that or not students are going to keep on dying. It’s a lose-lose situation and the worst part is that the students had nothing to do with this, but are still defenseless. Jim is unable to prevent any of them from dying and even by the end of the film nobody will ever really know what went on there. Jim even drags one guy out of retirement only to let him be promptly murdered. None of these deaths are painless or peaceful at all either. The villains make sure that these guys really have it.

Then we also have the fact that Jim’s guilty conscience shouldn’t even be guilty. Basically, he stole the car keys from the bullies so after they murdered his brother he ensured that they would die as well. So..was he not supposed to have picked up the keys? The bullies made it clear that they were going to destroy Jim next. It’s also not as if it was pre-meditated, Jim just grabbed them in the heat of the moment. The whole thing makes you shake your head. Then, while the bullies got super powers and such the brother doesn’t get anything so when he comes back from the dead he promptly gets beat up again. Shouldn’t he have also been powered up to be able to match the others? Something just doesn’t seem right about all of this. The villains always get the props with this.

So, the film is super violent with literal dismemberments and overly dark/tragic. What else could go wrong? Well, that is about it. The rest of the movie just doesn’t help its case with its poor script and unlikable characters. The film can feel rather long at times and there isn’t much to like. That’s always the worst part for a film like this, there are no positives to be found. Without those then the film really has no hope of being good. No worries though, the film does squeeze in the annoying kid trope. So, the mother and the kid know that these teens are trying to destroy Jim. They naturally lock the doors. Then someone knocks on the front door so the kid runs up and opens the door. The Mom should have stopped him for starters and for seconds there should have been some common sense here. Why is this kid so terrible? It’s why I don’t like having kids in films. They make the worst possible mistakes constantly. The only consistent thing about them is that they will never make the right move. Leave fighting zombies to the professionals.

Overall, This is definitely not a film that I would recommend. It plays out like just about any other slasher with the zombie bullies just destroying everyone in their way. Jim can’t stop them and only a demonic train is able to help him out here. It ends up effectively being a time loop only in this version extra people die in order to power up the loop further. Definitely not something you want to see in such a loop. There’s nothing particularly charming or fun about this film to hold it together. We also get a ton of flashbacks so if you start to forget how the brother died, no worries you’ll see it a bunch. If you have to watch a horror/thriller about changing the past then watch Flashpoint instead. Still not a great movie, but it is an improvement.

Overall 0/10

The Tingler Review

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It’s time to look at an old film known as the Tingler. It’s a movie that will cause you to re-think everything you thought you knew about the notion of fear. At least, that’s what the film thinks. We even get an intro at the beginning where the writer is basically begging you to try and act scared during the film since the whole climax revolves around this. It’s a little rough since these films are hardly scary and you’d have to have a group of friends around to be bold enough to yell in the first place. All in all, it wasn’t the best film out there, but as far as horror titles go it could have been a whole lot worse.

So the movie starts off with Chapin figuring out that inside of every human is a giant worm known as the Tingler. It explains the back pains we get when we’re older. When people get super scared the worm gets huge and starts crushing us from the inside however as soon as you yell the noise vaporizes the creature. As such it is hard to capture the thing alive since this is the weakest monster in a very long time. Chapin tries to scare himself but he simply isn’t brave enough and ends up yelling. The effect also doesn’t work too well on his wife since she ends up passing out. No, he needs someone who can’t yell out. That’s where Martha comes in. She is mute and cannot let her fear out. She conveniently dies of fear and so Chapin gets a hold of the Tingler. Will this really make him rich and famous or has he done all of this for nothing?

Chapin is one of those eccentric main characters who wants to prevail in his scientific endeavors no matter the cost. Whatever it takes is what he will do, even if it means putting someone at gunpoint. He is rocky enough where the film is able to successfully pull off some misdirects with him. There are two times in the film where you think he is going to do one thing and he does the other. Both were unexpected and particularly the latter twist as it happens at the very end of the film. Even if these twists gave Chapin a little humanity I can’t say that he was a great character. Let’s step away from the moral ambiguities of even trying to capture a Tingler. Once he actually does have one he doesn’t even want to do anything with it. He decides that there are forces of nature beyond man. All I can say to that is it’s a little late for second thoughts at this stage in the game. At that point everyone suffered for nothing. Chapin is also rather naive.

In a subplot, his wife has been cheating on him for a while now and is trying to steal money from his employee’s fiancée. Chapin confronts her about this and then gets the gun ready. Later on she claims to have had a total change of heart and serves him a drink. He flips the cups thinking that he has outsmarted her but the plan was a little more intricate than that. What he should have done was not drink at all. How could he take such a big risk? The wife is naturally not a good character either. She’s basically just around to try and make everyone’s lives a lot tougher than they needed to be. The film never tries to make her sympathetic and that’s certainly for the best.

Then we have Oliver who seems a little unbalanced. He likes to drink a lot and just seems very off during the scene where he visits his brother’s body in the beginning. He wonders what it would feel like to be in the chair and stuff like that. Even Chapin has to cut him off a few times. Oliver never ends up becoming a decent character and if anything the lead was probably a little too polite to him by the end. At least Chapin is fearless I’ll give him that. Martha could be annoying at times since she would act very suspicious right from the start. She is clearly very connected to her money and didn’t want to let it out of her sight even for an instant. That being said, she is a little too rattled by basic things like a little cut. I suppose it can be unnerving, but all of this together just made her a little too eccentric.

As for the actual Tingler, it’s hard to the creature seriously. Essentially it’s just a big worm with pincirs. Once it has you in its grip then it’s all over. I can appreciate the threat that this would pose to most humans in this film, but he could have had a cooler design. At the end of the day it just didn’t seem that strong. The main characters seem to think that it cannot be destroyed, but they hardly even tried doing anything to prove that theory. As a result it is hard to really buy into that hypothesis. Where’s the proof?

The ending was certainly interesting with how we got a twist like in a modern horror film. Considering who was getting twisted you’ll be hard pressed to try and defend the guy. As they say, karma arrives awfully quick in most horror titles. Play the villain at your own risk there. I guess the film did a reasonable job of making most of the twists realistic throughout but it’s all still tragic for the victim. According to the villain the victim had tried similar deadly things on him off screen, but it’s hard to know if he was being legit or even if it matters.

Overall, The Tingler is a film that likes its plot twists. They actually did work rather well so I’ll give the film some props there. Still, the movie felt rather unfocused. I still can’t believe that Chapin would give up on his dream so quickly after being completely obsessed over the Tingler for many years. That is just too rushed. Most of the characters seem to be rather crazy as well so there’s no one to root for. Even Chapin’s employee is basically just going along with all of this for his paycheck even though he has a feeling that things just aren’t right at the moment. He may as well be an accomplice. He was also going to bring some animals to test the fear element on which is inhumane at best. No, the only character to root for here is the Tingler as it works to destroy all of humanity.

Overall 4/10

The Shallows Review

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It’s time to look at a pretty recent shark film. These films are super risky in general because sharks lead to animal violence which is something that you typically want to avoid in a film. They also tend to take place at a beach which results in a considerable amount of fanservice. It’s a losing combo if I ever saw one and this film was not able to escape. If anything it might be the weakest shark film.

The movie starts out with a teenage girl heading off to a beach by her lonesome. The original plan was to go with her friend but that plan tanked when the friend was a no show. Now Nancy will have to try and have fun alone. It’s going well for her at first until it gets late and the Shark shows up. She manages to escape to a little rock in the middle of the ocean but with the tide coming in soon it won’t be high enough to defend herself for long. If anything it already isn’t and the shark is just ignoring her for some reason except for when she goes back in the water. Nancy will have to think of something because if she doesn’t get back to land to warn the others, who will?

Well, let’s talk about why this film had issues. We’ll get the beach locale out of the way first. The film makes sure to remind you of its target audience by zooming in on the main character quite a lot. The film is certainly not being subtle here and you should always be able to make a good film without fanservice. All it does is distract from the plot which is typically what you do when the plot is no good.

Then the film can also be rather violent. A large chunk of the film is just the main character yelling and being in a lot of pain. The scenes are way too dragged out and most of them could and should have been cut. It also takes away from her battle with the shark if she is barely even strong enough to stand. Finally we have also got the animal violence angle. A Whale dies early on which was pretty tragic. Then we have the main character trying to hitch a ride on his body, scratching him up in the process. Throw in a bird who broke his wing (Going for some obvious connections here with the lead’s injury but the plot was still unnecessary. The bird lived at least which stopped this from being a 0) and the actual shark and you’ve got yourself a proper train wreck.

Unfortunately the main character was also not particularly likable. She comes across as rather naive and makes mountains out of molehills. Nancy’s conversation with her father at the beginning of the film just seems rather odd with the lead trying to pick a fight. It’s hard to judge with no context at that point but since the film didn’t want to go into it all that much I don’t have a real reason to root for the heroine there. Then she also isn’t particularly nice to the bird that is sharing the rock with her. She flicks water at him and also doesn’t offer him any food when given the chance. If anything it seems like she only helps him at the end because she had gotten rather bored. Not the most charitable reason to help. If she was a better character that could have at least helped the film a little bit, as it is there wasn’t much to help it’s case.

As far as special effects go I think the film did a pretty interesting job with how it showed the phone calls and various objects as if they were virtual reality. It’s a pretty strong effect that stands out so hopefully you like it since it will be impossible to avoid. I think it was a good effect and also gave the film something unique to do beyond the usual. The music also isn’t bad. You probably won’t remember it by the end but it fit well with the scenes.

Overall, The Shallows is definitely one of those films that you should avoid. That being said, it does play out just as you would expect it to. This means that you can effectively tell if you will like the film or not from the trailer. I’d certainly say that it is reason enough to skip the film. Shark films just aren’t particularly ready to make a positive name for themselves and until they take place in space with robot sharks I doubt they will be anytime soon.

Overall 1/10

The Masque of the Red Death Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror film where Vincent Price must take the stage once more. I’ve already seen this story adapted once and it got the flat 0. That wasn’t the most reassuring moment out there but maybe this one would be better? Unfortunately that is not the case and I’m afraid that we have yet another flop here. This movie just didn’t have the skills to pull off the win.

The film starts with a village being raided by the evil prince and most of the villagers are murdered. Only 3 are spared, a girl, her father, and her betrothed. The prince decides he will break the girl’s spirit so that he can take his ultimate victory. However, the villagers did speak of a day of deliverance so the prince has to watch out.

This film deals with a lot of satanic themes as the villains worship the demon. It’s about as hard to watch as you’d expect since most of the characters are devil worshipers. That makes it rather hard to root for anyone or to stay invested in the film. It’s all about showing how evil everyone is and there isn’t really much of a point that the film was driving towards either. It’s just a lot of scenes of nothing and dreams which last forever.

This film also manages to squeeze in some animal violence just so it could tick that box as a bird quickly gets destroyed by another. It’s yet another moment where the film keeps on trying to lower the bar it has set for itself. If there was some good writing or pacing then the film could at least try to survive some of this but nothing of the sort is to be found here so the film was doomed.

Unfortunately the main character is also a disgrace here as she ultimately ends up forsaking her faith under pressure. It’s another shame that this movie throws in to undermine her character arc and to try to say that everyone would falter at some point. Yeah in this world everyone turned out to be evil so the lead had no positive influences to turn to, but I don’t see why she had to quickly throw her soul away at that point.

The brother and the father also forgot their own character arcs as they swore not to fight each other and then went up against each other in a poison dagger match. Clearly one of them would die in such a match so they were destroying each other even if it was indirectly. These are the kinds of character consistency you would expect from this film.

By the time the Red Death shows up to finish everyone off you’re just waiting for the film to end. Could he have taken any longer? The villagers should definitely be upset since the guy didn’t ultimately help them much. I suppose it also shows why you shouldn’t just trust strangers with your life after meeting them once.

The film could also be rather violent at times. The dream sequence certainly comes to mind where someone gets axes quite a bit. The film just can’t help itself it would seem. When everyone gets infected by the red death they also begin to look quite grotesque which isn’t helping the film’s case either. At least we don’t see characters chopped up like in other horror films coming soon, but this film was just desperate to get everything wrong.

If this film could have attempted to show any class it would have at least made the main heroine a little more knowledgeable so she could talk back to the prince. He likes to bring up the same old talking points like if God exists then why is everyone so evil or why he won’t personally show up to save them. Each time the main character starts to stammer or just says that she doesn’t know. Those are basically the worst answers you can give to such questions. She could have responded with the basic concept of free choice and that’s why people can still be evil or how tribulations and trials make you stronger. Instead she basically gives up, just like the film gave up on having a good story.

Overall, The Masque is the Red Death is definitely a film that I would recommend avoiding. There are no redeemable qualities to be found here. If it did anything right it is that the film isn’t super long even if it does drag for quite a while. There’s no point in watching the villain’s worship satan and the scenes are way too long. It’s why films that are all about showing how depraved humanity is will always be destined to fail. There’s just no entertainment value there. If you want to go watch a good horror film, just stick to the comedic ones.

Overall 0/10

Cry of the Werewolf Review

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It’s time to look at a really old Werewolf film. This one changes things up a bit from the usual formula, but I can’t say that it ever gets to the point where you start to think of it as an amazing title. It’s just hard for Werewolves to be particularly impressive. With the main character being rather sketchy as well things got tough for this flick, but I will say that it still did manage to be better than expected. After all, we have a good actor for the Werewolf and he seemed to be having a good time here so that was good.

The film has an intriguing lore. Essentially there is a tribe of Werewolves. Nobody knows about them and they want to keep it that way. Unfortunately word starts to get out and the bodies begin to pile up. Our main character may not be the brightest one out there, but he starts to figure out that something is wrong. The Werewolves decide to silence him as a result. That will be the only way that they can ensure nobody visits them. Of course, it’ll be tough since the main character’s best fiancee is also related to the tribe which is a security risk. How can the leader of the tribe hope to stop this main character?

Well, the main character is pretty bad so that part isn’t really much of a challenge. It’s hard to explain just how bad this guy is, but there’s one scene in particular that makes it easy. So, he’s pretty sure that this group is the one who murdered his father. (side note, the father didn’t look very good the whole time either. A mysterious idol appears in his house one day and he doesn’t question it. It’s a doll that is meant to be interpreted as a threat but the doctor/professor doesn’t take it seriously. He probably should have) He heads to the morgue to search for clues and that’s when the leader appears to try and talk him over. She uses her charm to get him to her apartment where he is immediately defeated and distracted long enough for her to put an actual charm on him. He eventually gets over it, but considering that he is prepping for a wedding you would think that the guy would be a little more prepared right? Well, that was apparently not good enough for him and he was so close to wrecking his chances with the fiancee.

Then the heroine isn’t great either. She may have the Dracula accent, but she doesn’t actually use it to try and fight against the villains. On the contrary, instead she is content to stay on the sidelines and faints when the leader even talks to her. She simply can’t fight back at all and it’s always annoying to see that happen to the heroes. Why should she be any weaker than the leader? Those mental energy bolts shouldn’t affect her quite so strongly. She spends enough time fainting and almost murdering the main character where it’s just hard to take her seriously.

If you want a good character then look no further than the chief of police. That guy may have had the wrong man for most of the film, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. This guy was actually taking his job seriously and can you really fault him for doubting that it was some kind of supernatural culprit? It technically makes sense that this would not be the case. He also did come around by the end and didn’t deny the evidence right in front of him so that was good. He may have been rather late to the game, but better late than never right?

Overall, The Cry of the Werewolf isn’t the best film out there, but it was rather entertaining. I liked the Cops here and while the main duo were pretty bad, they could also be unintentionally funny. I do think that the film was a little all over the place though. The whole tribe of Werewolves thing was a little odd. Why didn’t the followers try to help out as well? Whether they worshiped the leader as a werewolf or feared her, they should have stepped in. The heroes wouldn’t have stood a chance since they were so outnumbered and the tribe would get off scot free since nobody would believe that they were Werewolves. This film will leave you with some questions for sure. Whether they are big enough for it to matter to you is another story. At the end of the day, I guess the film at least did a reasonable job of trying its best to find a different way of telling the classic Werewolf story.

Overall 5/10

Ouija Review

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It’s time to watch my first traditional horror film in a while. That’s probably not the most accurate phrasing to use so let me switch it up a bit. When you think of horror films there are many kinds. 1. Realistic horrors where the threat is something that could happen in real life. These are typically the worst ones. The bottom of the barrel for horror so to speak. Then you have 2. Supernatural slasher horrors: These are the films where the opponent is some kind of ghoul, spirit, or phantasm who wants to destroy the main cast. That’s the kind that Ouija is a part of. These films usually get around a 2/10 score and are always pretty bad, but I consider them to embody the spirit of a true horror film the most. They have a set of cliches that are always followed to the letter and since you know all of the friends will ultimately end up dying you have to decide who the 1 extra character to be spared will be. The main heroine always lives, but she usually gets one ally to stay with her. The rest are red shirts from Star Trek. A similar kind of horror film is with aliens but it follows a different set of tropes so I’d count it as a slight variation. Typically there are more survivors and the films aren’t quite as graphic. Lets ignore Alien and Predator There’s also Kaiju films but that’s a whole different debate as to if they even count as horror films so I’ll skip that for now. The next level of horror are the classic humanoid monster films like Dracula, The Mummy, etc. These can be fairly decent, but are a mixed bag. They have the potential to get a positive score, but are most likely 4-6/10 on average. Finally you have the horror/comedy hybrids which are the best kind of horror films. These have their share of jump scares but balance them out with witty one liners and the cast knows what’s up. These films include Abbott and Costello, Scooby Doo, House, etc. Those are the best ones, however you never feel like they are True Horror films which is why the supernatural ones still take that title. They may not be good but you’ll be entertained.

Time to talk about the actual film. Laine and Debbie used to play with the Ouija back when they were kids. They grew out of it though and went back to enjoying life. One day Debbie was super bored so she played an extra game and was quickly murdered by the monster inside of it. To the outside world it looked like she destroyed herself, but Laine wasn’t buying it. Debbie had been having a good time prior to that Ouija game so she decides to play the game with her friends to see if they can talk to Debbie and learn the truth. They learn it all right, but not from Debbie. The monster inside the board has decided to destroy everyone else who has played with the board game as well. As the bodies quickly begin piling up Laine has to figure out how to stop this ghoul once and for all. Her best bet is to ask the resident experts but is it already too late?

The film does a good job of avoiding the trope of the animal death in this film. That’s a good thing because no animals played on the board so that would have really just been for shock value. The film was pretty consistent here about the ghost only going after the players. This movie also isn’t quite as graphic as a lot of the other horror films so that’s a plus. It is still pretty intense though so keep that in mind but watch a trailer or something and you’ll probably be able to guess the rest. Most of the characters die in pretty brutal ways that may be fairly blood free but are still rather dark. Considering that most of them didn’t even want to play the game it’s quite tragic.

There’s always that one friend who is pulled into the game for a film like this one and in this case it’s Isabelle. She was probably the best of the main characters or at the very least she was a lot more upbeat. She was just looking forward to having a good time when Laine forced her to come with everyone to play the Ouija. She repeatedly expressed how she doesn’t want to do it, but since she is such a nice friend she goes along with it anyway. Ah well, that was game over. Then we have Trevor and Pete. Why would the film choose to have two actors who look so much alike? Considering that neither one of them is particularly likable it doesn’t help their case either. For instance, when Laine asks them to join her in a quest to stop the villains they both basically give her the same answer at different points. They may not be supposed to be similar in character, but I’d say that they are. They’re both very touchy and panic a lot. They never stood a chance here.

Then we’ve got Sarah who is probably the worst character of the bunch. She just likes to fool around a lot and doesn’t take anything seriously. Her way of coping with Debbie’s death is just to get even worse and is a thorn in Laine’s side for most of the movie. She doesn’t get to actually help until the very end of the film and it’s not enough to save her. I’m sure she would be a better character in a sequel thanks to developing from this so maybe she’ll be able to turn it around there. I’m pretty mixed about Laine. On one hand, she is pretty determined about finding out what happened to Debbie which is good. On the other hand her ideas are just pretty bad. Playing the Ouija board was really not a good idea and her family warned her about it. Getting everyone else in trouble the way she did was also a mistake. I suppose I don’t blame her too much for believing the words of the random stranger since the ghosts were acting misleading the whole time. It’s one of those annoying plot moments where you wonder why the bad spirits can do basically anything while the heroic ones are always sobbing and running around with no actual plan. They need to at least try thinking for themselves. On a side note, the old lady’s plan was actually quite sound though and did make for a pretty entertaining twist.

So, I won’t say that Laine was a bad character but she did make a lot of convenient decisions which certainly helped the villains. She’s still smarter than some of the other friends though. In one scene near the climax one of the guys gets a text from the main characters and runs to the back yard. Keep in mind that it’s the dead of night right now. He tells her to wait up, but she runs past a fence and slams the door. Not taking the hint, he opens the gate and chases after her. What happened to the guy’s intelligence? If that is really her wouldn’t she respond? Considering that he has already seen a lot of crazy stuff happen over the last 24 hours you would expect him to be a little more cautious here. I mean, it probably doesn’t matter since the ghosts are always super powerful so they would get their man anyway, but it still makes you shake your head.

Meanwhile Debbie’s a pretty great character. She makes all of the heroic choices when possible. Yeah, playing the game was a mistake, but at least she quickly realized it and distanced herself from everyone so they wouldn’t get hurt. It does bring up the tough questions of whether you should go to your friends in case they can help but if you “know” that it is all futile then keeping them out makes sense as well. She also has a lot more will power than the rest of the characters and is easily the highlight here.

As for the villain…well she’s fairly generic as can be. There are two main ghosts here. One of them is super weak and doesn’t know how to properly convey any kind of message and the other one does her best to finish everyone off. The villainous one naturally does a better job, but I wouldn’t call either one of the villains particularly memorable or cool. I’ll take the Grudge/Ring villains in a heartbeat. As for the rather dramatic ways they finish off their opponents, I suppose the villains like stretching things out. They could have easily ended the heroes in any number of ways based on those scenes. Also, shout out to the nanny for knowing everything that was happening and not lifting a finger to help. It’s pretty unexpected honestly. Not a good thing of course, but still a unique choice for a background character.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this film. It’s a pretty dark adventure where the heroes never stand a chance which can be annoying. There is only so much you can do against a monster which can’t be touched and has super strength as well as tk abilities and basic reality warping. Still, it’s definitely a little classier than the average film in its genre so I’ll give it that. The imagery can be rather disturbing and gruesome, but not overly violent. A good example of this is the clouded over eyes. It’s not particularly pleasant, but I’ll take it over other eye tricks from horror titles. If horror films are your cup of tea then go for it. Otherwise I recommend paying a visit to the Scooby Doo collection.

Overall 3/10

The Mummy’s Hand Review

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It’s time to look at an old Mummy film from the old days. This one doesn’t feature the actual Mummy for quite a while, but lets try to look past that part. It’s not all that bad of a film to be honest. It was actually fairly entertaining and didn’t really fall into any of the holes that you would expect it to. It does suffer from parts of the film feeling a little dragged out, but all in all this may be one of the more solid Mummy titles. Who’d have thought that would happen right?

The film starts off with a rather painful beginning admittedly. An old man is getting ready to pass the torch as he is ready to die now. He gives an amulet to another guy and explains all of the various things he has to do to complete the process. You do not need to know about any of this stuff since it doesn’t really make a difference so lets fast forward to our two main characters. Abbott and Costello Steve and Babe are having some trouble. See, they found an ancient artifact worth millions which proves that a temple is nearby. Unfortunately a jealous skeptic smashed their statue so now they have no proof of it. Still, they need the money or they may as well kiss their careers goodbye. Fortunately they find a magician who is also down on his luck (To their credit they think he is rich) and convince him to fund their expedition. Now all they need to do is find some valuable stuff, but this may be tougher than it seems as the Mummy’s agent of evil is ready to stop them in their tracks!

A film is only as good as its main characters of course so naturally you’re gonna be hoping that Steve and Babe have got what it takes to pull off the story here. Fortunately they do. Steve is a pretty serious character and knows when he’s being played. While he probably should have been more careful with his rare artifact in the first scene, at least he gives the corrupt “expert” a glare as he walks away. He has a hard time keeping his team in check, but he keeps his wits about him throughout. Meanwhile Babe tends to get uptight a little more often. He isn’t quite as exaggerated in how scared he is compared to other comedy leads and has a good balance. Even when being held at gun point he manages to warn his attacker that things are going to be messy. These two may not be the brightest bulbs in the bunch, but as a result you can certainly say that they fear nothing.

Meanwhile we have another tough main heroine in this film. When Marta hears that the leads have tricked her father she storms the base with her gun. At first you may think that it isn’t loaded or something like that, but this isn’t the case. She fires off quite a few rounds to show the main characters that she means business and it also a really good shot to boot. That makes her a really dangerous fighter and also a great character. Unfortunately Steve stops her before she can defeat the heroes. Marta is still a reasonable character so once she learns that they aren’t villains she is on board with the plan.

On the opposite side of things we have the actual Mummy. Unfortunately this is the worst incarnation of the character that I have seen. He is treated as a minion here by the actual main villain, the middle aged guy from the intro. The Mummy is continually insulted by this guy and mocked to no end. Surprisingly the usually deadly Mummy just sits back and takes it since he can’t do much about it. If he makes a wrong move then he’ll be destroyed. Still, this is a horror film. I’m sure if he quickly tried to grab his “master” the guy would panic in fear and that would be the end of that. Even if the Mummy does man up a bit by the end, it’s too late to take him seriously.

Usually the best parts of these films are supposed to be when the monster/antagonist shows up and we get some nice fight scenes. We do get a bit of that as the Mummy is too strong for bullets, but the best parts are likely all from the intro scenes like when the two main characters get into a classic bar brawl. Even Marta’s father gets in on the action which is pretty neat. He may be old, but the guy certainly hasn’t forgotten how to swing his little umbrella/cane around. Considering that the villains were being so openly aggressive though they probably should have just shot the main characters and been done with the whole thing. I get the feeling that the locals wouldn’t have made a fuss about that.

As expected of a retro film like this one the writing is pretty good. Even if the villains don’t really contribute much, Steve and Babe make the rest of the cast around them better simply by appearing. The characters are pretty charismatic and the pacing is also pretty tight so there is a lot of nonstop excitement. At its core the movie is just pretty fun. There’s not a whole lot of original concepts here so you may be hard pressed to find good reasons to recommend this film in particular to someone, but a good counter point is that it doesn’t really do anything wrong either. (Aside from its treatment of the actual Mummy of course) It’s a film that you can watch anytime.

Overall, I’m glad that this film managed to hold up pretty well. If you haven’t seen the old Mummy films before then this is a good place to start. Mainly because then it’ll be even easier to ignore the Mummy. Either way, we’ll see if the other Mummy films can beat this one. Historically they don’t tend to be very great, but the actual creature does have a lot of potential. So long as they give him a little more credibility in the next film I think he’ll do just fine and that should help the movie.

Overall 6/10

The Pit and the Pendulum Review

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It’s time to look at one of those horror films where you know that someone’s gonna turn crazy from the get go. It takes place at an old castle and people have been mysteriously dying. You can’t really draw any other conclusion than this as a result right? The cast of characters is rather small, but as all of them are fairly annoying you begin to wish there were even fewer characters. It’s a pretty bad film that just stays very dreary throughout. You’ll be waiting for some life to be inserted into the film only to no avail.

The film starts off with Francis running to the mansion of Nicholas since he has heard that his sister died. Nicholas explains that she was sick, but forgets to get on the same page as Doctor Leon so the story is botched from the start. Francis quickly demands an explanation, but he isn’t getting one. That’s when Nicholas starts to go crazy and the cast hears a ghost from the great beyond. Is it possible that the sister still is in fact alive or is there something else at play here?

First off, the villains aren’t very smart here. So of course, you’ve got the “ghost.” Her role is to convince Nicholas that he is insane so his mind can break and she can then finish him off. The problem is that turning him insane would likely just make him even more dangerous so I don’t see how that would help. The odds of Nicholas just fainting and dying the way that they all envisioned just doesn’t seem all that likely. Even when the plan seems to work they don’t try finishing him off. Instead they decide to waste time gloating about it and rubbing their victory in his face. Naturally Nicholas doesn’t like this very much and retaliates.

Meanwhile you have Francis who is oblivious to all of this. He starts off by talking a big game, but very quickly you realize that this is all hot air. He is completely outmatched against the others. Nicholas takes him out with a single back hand. Sure, Francis was right to be skeptical so it’s good that he didn’t leave but at the same time he should have been more afraid to fight. What was his plan if Nicholas was the cruel murderer that Francis thought he might be? The lead can’t fight for beans so I think he should have thought this whole thing through a little more.

Then you’ve got the tragic backstory for Nicholas which just makes everyone look even worse. It turns out that his Uncle and Mother colluded against his father in secret so the guy murdered both of them. Now in the present this situation has gone full circle with other characters. That’s why you probably want to be careful when your house has an actual torture chamber inside of it. Definitely a very dark element and it’s used in both the flashback and the present day adventure. Even the twist ending opts to go for a more tragic route as opposed to being a hype one where the monster escapes. Someone is stuck in a cage with no foreseeable way out which is a pretty brutal way to go.

I suppose the script isn’t all that bad. The characters are all very theatrical and like to make sure that everyone knows what a tough journey they’ve had. All of the characters throw a lot of banter around and speak on each other’s behalf. You’re supposed to trust person B because A says so and vice versa. With nobody willing to tell the full truth you have to discern what is happening based on obvious plot devices and the subtext of what they’re saying. Unfortunately Francis isn’t quite ready for such a revelation.

While the character he is playing is no good, Vincent Price still does a good job of playing the same character he always does. He’s one of the most consistent actors from back in the day. I can’t say that I really follow too many actors/actresses because acting ability tends to look basically the same to me regardless of who it is, but in the modern day Tom Cruise is an example of a solid actor who always seems to be playing the same character and that’s why it works well. Likewise Vincent Price seemed to be that way in the old adventures. No matter what character he is playing you will likely recognize the guy almost immediately. It’s also the tip off to how you know he will turn evil by the end. That’s basically how it always goes.

Overall, I wouldn’t recommend checking this film out. If you want a grim tale from the olden days then this could work for you though. One aspect of these old films that makes the situations feel a lot more dangerous than modern ones is the fact that nobody is around to help. This film takes place in a very remote area where nobody lives for miles. You can’t hail a cab and there aren’t any cell phones either. Escape would be rather difficult at best and while Francis could still make a run for it, you can see why the situation is rather dire. It’s hard to recreate that sense of tension in a modern film although I’m sure they try their best. Now, if you want a much better horror film with plot twists and a character trying to find out the truth, check out the edited version of House instead. Now that one delivers on being quality entertainment.

Overall 2/10