Category Archives: 6 Star Movies

Asylum Review

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Anthologies usually aren’t the right format for me. There aren’t a whole lot of benefits that come with this style but a lot of weaknesses as a good story could be brought down by some others. Fortunately this was a rather strong collection of stories or at least a lot stronger than I was expecting. My confidence in horror films is not very high so I was expecting something pretty bad here. in the end I was impressed and this is better than most other rival titles.

The film starts off with Dr. Martin heading to an Asylum. A position has opened up and he has expressed interest in being there. The head doctor Lionel wants to give him a test first. Martin must interview with each of the patients there. This will let him get acquainted with the place and patients while also testing Martin’s skills. See, one of these guys is the actual head doctor -Starr, but the guy went crazy so now Lionel runs the place. He wants Martin to tell him which of the patients is Starr. With that, Martin heads to the rooms and begins to learn each of the stories there. Can he make the right call or will this just break him as well?

The first story involves a guy who is cheating on his wife with another lady. He figures that the only way to escape is to murder her so he takes her down to the basement and bumps her off. He’s quite thorough about it and figures that she won’t be a threat anymore while in pieces but quickly discovers that this isn’t the case. Her remaining parts are still able to move so she takes him down for the count and then scares the other girl into insanity. In the present Martin doesn’t believe that a dead person could possibly have kept moving and figures that the girl is insane.

This was a decent way to start off the batch. The story does seem a whole lot like the one in Creepshow so it isn’t very original but it does set up the atmosphere. The characters are all made to be super unlikable but of course you are rooting for the wife to get the last laugh here. Since the stories are all told from the present there is also an interesting dynamic here since you know that the person telling the story has to survive the experience. The rest of the characters aren’t quite as safe though. So, is this character crazy or was it supernatural? You will need to ask yourself that after each story.

Next up was a mysterious suit that made someone go crazy. See, this guy was a tailor but he was hard on cash at the moment because people just weren’t buying his suits or needed theirs fixed. Fortunately one guy stops in with a very expensive order one day. He’s a bit eccentric though and tells the guy to only work on the suit at night and to follow a ton of instructions. The tailor follows most of them rather well but gets greedy and does prick the suit once. Unfortunately the client isn’t as rich as he acted and apparently has nothing to pay with. This leads to a scuffle and the suit actually becomes alive. The tailor is now scared out of his wits and has been driven insane.

Definitely a good second story and one of my favorite ones. It reminds me of why you need to ask for cash up front or you are likely going to be swindled. Otherwise you end up with the client suddenly not having the money when you were counting on it. It seems a little less scary than the other stories though so it’s hard to see how this would make the guy so insane. I mean, it’s weird to have a glowing suit that’s actually alive I guess but it’s not too crazy. Still, it made for a fun segment.

In the third story we have a girl who previously suffered some kind of crazy episode. Her brother has taken her to his big mansion so she can rest. The lady is rather upset though because the doctor’s orders are fierce and include her having to take a mandatory nap every day while it’s still bright and early. Fortunately her twisted friend Lucy appears and says they can run away together. The main character just has to beat her pills addiction. Unfortunately it appears that Lucy was not actually real and the main character is just really insane as she bumped everyone off.

I would say the main thing holding the story back is that it feels obvious that Lucy is not real from the start. Of course the twist could be that she is real but otherwise you think that the main character really is crazy. In the first two stories you don’t think that necessarily but here it’s hard to believe that there was anything supernatural going on here. It ends up just being sad for the victims who weren’t able to do much here. I would end up putting this as the weakest story out of the bunch.

Finally you have another story with the doctor as the antagonist. His name is Dr. Byron and he is a genius in just about every field but now wants to focus on mannequins. He figures that he has solved the mysteries of the soul and can throw one inside the doll. It’s a rather impressive invention if possible but it all seems rather crazy. Nobody would believe any of this but what’s ominous is that they can make for an exceptional fighting force if they’re real although there is a big weakness to linking your mind to a very small and very breakable doll.

Well, those were the various stories here. As you can see, this was actually a rather fun batch the whole time. The stories tended to rely more on atmosphere than being super violent or anything. The villains didn’t go too far and the asylum was a good way to connect each of the stories. It was always fun to see Martin walk into the room and get things started. I liked the guy’s absolute confidence the whole time and the way he handled himself in the climax as well. Martin demanded respect at all times and wasn’t going to just be playing games or get tested.

That said, his reactions towards the end were pretty bad. The guy is not good at adapting on the fly, I think it’s safe to say that this is a big weakness for him. I wasn’t a fan of Lionel though. The guy seems petty and unreasonable for no real reason. He really didn’t have to go so far to make everyone turn against him. Honestly if he had handled things a little more carefully then it all could have gone better for him. I did like the guy who was in charge of watching the inmates a lot though. You could tell that he was very confident at all times and it’s also impressive how he was not afraid to be alone with these guys. That puts him a cut above the rest and also gives you a reason to be cautious around him. Everyone else has gone crazy so how has he stayed sane?

The unnerving feeling in the atmosphere the whole time serves the movie well. The stories are all really solid and the writing’s good. I definitely couldn’t ask for much more about a horror film in an asylum. It’s hard to top this. The climax worked well and what was equally as important as the stories were the scenes that tied them all together. It was easy to like Martin right from the start so you were definitely rooting for him. Horror films usually have a twist at the end and even knowing that, this one was quite effective.

Of course the question is, were they all insane or was this supernatural? Most of the leads really didn’t seem like quacks but lets go through all of them. The 4th story is the easiest one because we have proof that it works. So he wasn’t crazy and there was nothing supernatural going on. The guy is just an incredible genius who pulled his plan off without a hitch. Then there’s the 3rd story with the imaginary friend. In this case the main character is absolutely crazy and there was nothing supernatural going on. The biggest evidence of this is that she still sees Lucy in the present.

In the second story I don’t think the guy was crazy and this time there was a supernatural element. The book of bringing things to life was very real and same with the vampire. So this guy should be let out of the asylum. Finally in the first story it’s a little closer but I would say the girl is not crazy and that the body parts were moving a bit as part of the supernatural. So out of the 4 stories, 2 were supernatural and only one of the 4 leads was crazy. Not great for the Asylum’s intake staff but Lionel made it clear that he didn’t care about their stories anyway and just wanted to lobotomize them.

Overall, Asylum is a solid horror film that I would recommend. It’s quite rare that I have used that sentence before so you know that this one really ended up shining above the rest. I don’t expect a remake/reboot could easily outdo this one so it’s best to leave it as a oneshot for now. A sequel would be interesting though to see what happened to everyone. I want to say that everyone’s okay but I expect they could be as crazy as ever since this place isn’t exactly trying to cure anyone.

Overall 6/10

The Lost Valentine Review

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The Lost Valentine is a very emotional story about how war can certainly turn a romance tragic very quickly. The movie deals with the aftermath of that and makes for a solid emotional story. I wouldn’t say it’s a great one but it should keep your attention from start to finish. There’s also some good detective work at play here so the plot moves quite actively.

The movie starts by introducing us to Caroline whose husband went missing during the war and was presumed dead. Since this wasn’t official, Caroline would go to the train station where they promised they would meet every year on Valentine’s. She would sit there all day and then go home. Rinse and repeat for decades. Well, one channel thinks they can get a good pay day out of this so reporter Susan is put onto the case. Her mission is to get the full story from Caroline. Susan’s not thrilled about this since she finds it boring and has a very bad first impression with Caroline’s grandson as a result. Can she turn this around and get the story or is that game over?

In a lot of ways the film could have been over after the first few minutes when Susan was badmouthing Caroline in front of Lucas. Now, they weren’t direct insults to her but she was criticizing the story and saying that it wasn’t very important. If I’m Lucas I’d shut the whole thing down right there. Hard to forget about insults like that. While of course we learn that Susan ends up finding the whole story very moving and gets into it, if you’re Lucas you would probably have a lot of doubts for a long while. Not until she actually starts doing some detective work would I think that her heart is into this.

Susan’s definitely crafty about how she gets in to get the story though. She basically forces her way into the house and from there it would be awkward for Lucas to throw her out. So you have to give Susan some points there and of course her character arc does end up working out positively. I thought it was a bit iffy how she ran back to her day job once Lucas got upset at her but since she didn’t give up on the assignment, I didn’t dock any major points off of her. Ultimately she may have been judgmental at the beginning but got to be a good character by the end.

As for Lucas, well he’s a solid character as well. He does well in his physical therapy job and even had the time to write a book as well. Unfortunately he is the kind of guy who reads too much into a situation and quickly jumps to the wrong conclusions. A romance drama like this will always have that one big misunderstanding moment, but this one felt very forced. (Okay, most of them feel forced) Lucas decides to be rather rude to her as a result which shows that he wasn’t as cool with being “just friends” as he should have been. Additionally, lets say that it wasn’t a misunderstanding…she had hinted that she was together with someone earlier. Even his parents and grandmother knew that but told him to go over to try and win her over. So what’s with the big personality shift here? I thought he was way off base.

With Susan just coming off another relationship so this was a rebound and Lucas being like this, I can tell you that I was not a big fan of this romance. It just didn’t end up working well for me at all. Since it’s a big focus that does hurt the film to an extent. The romance with Caroline was a lot better as she never rebounded and stayed loyal with visiting the train station all these years. She’s definitely the kind of person you’d want to be friends with. Caroline does a lot of volunteering in her spare time as well and just ends up being a very solid character. Her husband was also great as we see him in the flashbacks saving various characters. There were several times where he could have escaped and saved himself but each time he took the high road and did what he could to keep everyone safe. Now that’s what I call drive and determination!

As always you can count on the friends of the main characters to give the worst possible advice at all times though. This is pretty much a staple for the friends to be bad in romances though. You’ve got Susan’s friends telling her to just marry the guy she’s not super interested in because he’s a good guy. I mean…it’s nice that they’re trying to be supportive but you never want to “settle” on someone just because they’re not bad. I don’t think that’s a good way to build a long term relationship. Then you have Lucas’ parents and Caroline saying it doesn’t matter if Susan already has a boyfriend, just assume he’s not the right one and try to win her over. I suppose the game’s not over until she’s married but if someone’s taken then I’d say 9 times out of 10 it’s time to move on and think about someone else. Or just be okay on your own, you can still be quite content that way.

Overall, The Lost Valentine is a good film. I wasn’t a fan of the main romance but the writing is still good and the characters are reasonable. The movie is fairly short so you have to move through things at a fairly rapid pace. That does mean that the romance doesn’t have a lot of time to develop but at the same time you don’t want things to drag out either. I’d say the balance was good enough and you do feel happy for Caroline to have some closure at the end. She had definitely gone through a lot so this way she got to have some happy memories at the end. The flashbacks were also good to give the story more depth, honestly that may have even made for a stronger film if we had stayed in the past the whole time. Would have been a more tragic ending though.

Overall 6/10

The Mysterious Strangler Review

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The Mysterious Strangler is a film that really goes by the books without trying any big twists. As soon as the main character starts to get very obsessive about his work you have a feeling where this is going. If only he could have stayed strong right? Well, that was never going to happen but it feels like the film almost forgot to start including the actual strangling. So we get a speed run near the end but most of the film was rather low key.

The film starts with a man named Styles being murdered for the crime of strangling a lot of people. He says that he didn’t do it even as they hang him. We then jump 20 years into the future where a writer named James wants to prove that the guy was innocent after all. There was no real evidence to support that Styles committed the crime aside from a lot of circumstantial evidence that kept on adding up. Superintendent Burk thinks that this is madness since it’s a 20 year old cast but lets James continue his investigation. Shortly afterwards the murders start up again though. Why would they start up again after 20 years like this? It is quite alarming and now the main characters must find the culprit right away.

With the murders back up you have to assume that either the original murderer is still out there or this is some kind of copycat. Either scenario would work well enough when you think about it but the timing next to James’ investigation is a big thing to note. If James had started doing this to try and help his theory that would have certainly been a crazy twist. Unfortunately the cops are often too late to stop the strangler from taking his victims down so there is a bit of a body count by the end.

The writing is solid enough. I liked the dialogue between the characters and it always has a very mature feel to it. The characters address each other respectively and know what is going on the whole time. They’re all professionals after all and even the corrupt security guard has a lot of bravado to him. James has nobody to blame but himself for expecting this guy to come in handy as a witness later on. Why would the cop ever admit to helping him break into a grave when that crime would put him out of a job? James definitely was lacking a bit of situational awareness there.

Randomly we see that the prison and asylum are both rather crazy. At prison they’re just casually beating everyone to death and in the Asylum they handle James very roughly and even force him to eat some porridge in the most disturbing scene in the film. The climax definitely goes from 0-100 really fast with the twists too so the film wasn’t really holding back to end things. The way one character jumps through a window is even unintentionally funny. There’s no real reason for all the urgency and running at this point but I suppose it just couldn’t be helped.

For the cast here, they are all okay at best. James is a very obsessive main character who absolutely wants to be right and is quick to go into threats You can’t really trust the guy all that much. He’s also so completely convinced that Styles is innocent without having any real evidence on hand so in a way isn’t he just the opposite extreme of everyone saying that Styles was guilty? James is also quick to break the law to further his own ambitions, so you definitely want to keep an eye on him.

As for Burk, he was my favorite character here. The guy may not have bought into the theory at all but when the murders started he did take the whole thing very seriously and jumped right on in. His ego didn’t stop him or anything like that, he was just determined to solve the mystery and put an end to all of this. He even did his best to try and convince James that he wasn’t crazy which was considerate of him. You couldn’t ask for much more from the superintendent.

There’s also a very mild subplot where James’ partner wants to marry James’ daughter. The main character really has no time to think about this but is upset that he was basically the last person to find out about this and wasn’t even told directly. That’s a pretty valid complaint I suppose since you’d think they would have mentioned it a bit sooner. Oh well, better late than never I suppose. I don’t think James would have taken it super well in any event.

There’s quite a few random dancing scenes in the movie as well. This all leads up to the dancers being the main victims of the Strangler and I’ve noticed that they seem to be the targets of the villain quite a bit. At least recently it seems like I’ve seen a few films where the villains head after the dancers. I suppose they figure that these are easy targets but the scenes can last a while where you feel like the plot is frozen. It would be better to skip the performances and we just see the Strangler running around.

While played seriously, there are two murders that almost appear to be part comedy. One is when a fire is started so the guard runs in and quickly gets taken out. You’d think he would have been a little more cautious considering where he was. Then you had one of the girls who was baking some bread and kept on singing so she never heard the Strangler until he approached. The cops had just arrived to check if he was there but she was super dismissive and knew that nobody had appeared.

Also, I should note that the Strangler only has one good arm. You’d think that this would make it a little easier for the victims to take him out but unfortunately they still end up getting crushed by every trick. I thought that was a little crazy, you mean to tell me that nobody thought to trip him up or do something? A one armed villain can’t do nearly as much as someone with two arms, that’s just basic addition right there. I know that this is an old horror film where the victims can’t do much of anything but I’d have liked to see some of them fight back.

Overall, The Mysterious Strangler is a fairly run of the mill film and compared to most titles in the genre it’s quite good. The mystery at least gives it a little more depth than the others even if the culprit is clear from the start. I mean as soon as you hear the summary and recognize the main actor you probably know something’s about to go down. That’s probably the issue with being so well known I suppose. The film stays classier than most Hammer productions though and never gets too violent. The movie’s also short and should keep your interest the whole time so I wouldn’t call it bad. Put simply, this isn’t a great film but it’s good enough to warrant a watch if you need to pass some time by.

Overall 6/10

Ready or Not Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Hide and Seek was always a lot of fun as a kid. The apartment’s not huge or anything but it was still fun finding a place to hide and seeing how long I could last. In a mansion I feel like the game would always take a very long amount of time, especially since you could keep moving around. Turns out that this makes for a very solid film premise. So much so that you forget this is a horror film half the time. I kind of thought of it as a comedy/thriller the whole time and I’d say that’s a complement to the film. This one ended up being better than I would have expected.

The movie starts with Alex getting ready to marry Grace. He’s super rich and so his family make a big deal about the whole thing. None of them seem to like Grace very much but she doesn’t mind. After all, she’s going to be marrying Alex so he’s the only one that matters now and he is super rich too so she’ll have a lot of things to keep her busy. That night there is one last tradition now that the two have been married. Grace just needs to play a little game with the family…hide and seek. The rules are simple. The family will try to murder her at all costs and she just has to survive until Dawn. Easy right?…..

Right away you can tell that this family is absolutely insane. It’s also a premise that’s very bonkers but also exciting. To add a bit more context here, it’s not like they try to murder the bride every time, or else they wouldn’t be such a big family. See, the tradition is that they have to play some kind of game and usually it’s one that is quite harmless like Old Maid. The only game that is life or death is Hide and Seek. Also, it’s a game that the family really doesn’t want to lose. Why? Because if they don’t murder her by Dawn then they will all die as foretold by the prophecy. Grace is initially at a disadvantage because she doesn’t know about these stakes but she quickly finds out the hard way.

Now your first question is probably why Alex didn’t tell her this right? The short answer is because he’s a chump and easily the worst character in the film. The long answer is that he was worried she wouldn’t marry him when she found out how insane this whole thing was and perhaps a small part of him believed the curse that they would all die if he didn’t show up with her. I’m sure the greedy part of him figured that a different game would be chosen and so her life wouldn’t be at risk anyway. In that case I wonder if he ever would have told her, or at leas the would have waited until it actually happened.

As Alex spits out these excuses in short order you can casually throw them all to the side. None of this blocks the fact that he’s an awful person and there’s no excuse for putting Grace in this mess. He looks absolutely dreadful throughout the movie and even if he’s not one of the active participants trying to murder her for most of the movie, he’s still the worst character here. So many excuses and so little time.

Grace does well to keep it together the whole time considering how unexpected this is. It takes her a little while to figure out what’s going on but once she does, Grace proves to be a very resilient fighter. She takes on a lot of injuries, including a particularly painful one with the screw, but keeps on going. By the end she’s nearly lost her voice with how frantic the whole thing has become. She thinks fast at the very ending too and also has a solid last line. Ultimately I don’t think she’ll be considering marriage again anytime soon but this experience will certainly have made her stronger.

The rest of the family are all insane. Don’t let some of their calm attitudes and personalities fool you. They may be joking around but they’re all trying to murder Grace so that means they are just cool about doing this. Not a very good look for them if you think about it. The first one here is Daniel and at least he has a bit more of a conscience than the others. He doesn’t actually want to murder Grace but at the same time he isn’t brave enough to openly go against it. So he just makes sure that he’s useless in the chase which indirectly does buy her some time. By the end I had him as one of the best characters.

He certainly puts in more of an effort than the rest of these guys and deserves some level of credit for that. All of these characters are guilty to an extent just for participating though. Then you have Charity who is the exact opposite of Daniel. She is eagerly doing her best in this hunt because she wants to stay in the family no matter once. She hints that she had a rather rough upbringing and so becoming rich was the best things that happened to her. She is more proactive about this than just about all of the other characters to be honest.

Tony is really one of the ringleaders here as the father. He believes they have to follow the rules absolutely although he does relent to using the security cameras to cheat once it’s been a while. So in that sense he is willing to break the rules once it’s convenient. Becky is a little more sympathetic to Grace’s plight but at the same time she is certainly aiming to murder her so it doesn’t mean much. That’s why to some extent you almost prefer the ones who are openly trying to get Grace because the ones who talk tough about how they feel bad aren’t doing anything about it. It doesn’t make them any better, just worse for being half hearted. Daniel’s really the only exception to this as he actually helps out with his meddling.

Helene is the oldest one here and definitely the most ruthless. She absolutely has no qualms about taking Grace down and even thinks they should get Alex to do it as it’ll help him see the light. It’s quite twisted logic but it shows how far down the rabbit hole she is. Helene definitely is insane by this point. Then you have Fitch who doesn’t even seem to take anything seriously. He is still trying to take Grace down though so he’s the perfect example of a character who seems nice enough but has no problem being a murderer so he’s just as bad as the others. You don’t get any points for acting nice.

Finally Emelie is the klutz of the group. She keeps on murdering other people by mistake even when aiming for Grace. It definitely makes for some humorous scenes. Emelie really has a hard time not murdering people by mistake which could be useful in some contexts but of course it isn’t very handy for the villains here. At least it gives them one weakness.

As a part comedy/parody the film has a whole lot of fun with this premise. After all, it’s just a game for the family and most of them treat it like that. Down to how nonchalant they are about the whole thing and people dying. We see a graveyard filled with bodies so while it’s apparently been a while, it’s still often enough for this to have all accumulated over time. It’s disturbing but also very interesting.

Now even if it is for laughs, the film can be quite violent. Some characters are lucky enough to die quickly while others get stuck in an elevator, get shot by an arrow but keep staying alive, etc. These guys can’t catch a break and Grace took some heavy injuries as I said. I think the tone helps it not feel so bad at times but the movie definitely was not afraid to get violent at times.

The mansion makes for a good backdrop during the hide and seek game. I rather enjoyed it and the place certainly does look fancy. There’s also a very catchy tune that plays when they start the hide and seek game. It helps to set the atmosphere here and when the song plays you know that something’s about to happen. Visually the film is also really impressive as every moment stands out. It just feels very professionally done. The film also has some twists near the end of the movie which should catch you on guard. It’s also possible that you’ll have seen through them but they were executed well either way.

Overall, Ready or Not is surprisingly a good film. The writing is on point and the film really keeps you engaged throughout the whole game of Hide and Seek. Towards the end we get so many “climax” moments that you really don’t know how things are going to end. It’ll keep you guessing that’s for sure and you probably won’t forget the hide and seek song anytime soon. This is the kind of film where a sequel would be different but as part of the parody angle I could see her trying to marry another rich guy and get thrown into a new scenario. Might come off as a bit forced though and I wonder if a sequel could match this one. I feel like the premise would be easy to mess up. Either way, if you don’t mind the violence then I would recommend checking this one out.

Overall 6/10

The Expendables Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is definitely a film that you had to have seen around a lot back in the day. It got quite a bit of promotion because of how many big names it was grabbing. The concept was always solid as well with all the action going on. Well, the film lives up to the hype pretty well for the most part although if you’re watching some specific characters then you won’t be in luck here.

The movie starts with Barney’s squad of Expendables saving some hostages and destroying the terrorists. One of their members (Gunner) goes too far with this though and Barney is forced to take him off the team. He then receives a new mission for the team by the mysterious Mr. Church. The group has to head to Viena where there is a lot of strife going on right now. The people are suffering as a group of rogue American forces have conspired with the King to take the place over. The heroes have to take out General Garza which should effectively stop this movement in its tracks. If they do that they things can finally go back to normal. This is an extremely difficult mission though where the heroes will be heavily outnumbered. Can their band really take out a whole army?

The film starts off with a lot of action right off the gate which is good. I also liked how for once the heroes didn’t just drop their guns when the villains took a hostage. I’ve mentioned in the past how this is always a bad idea and the characters here seemed to know it. In general the Expendables are very reluctant to drop their guns which is good. If you do that then the villains can just take out the hostage and your group at the same time. We also got the “traitor” fairly early on with Gunner. Cracking immediately was not a good look for him although apparently it just tends to happen to guys who are in the field for too long.

We get the best scene in the film very early on though as Barney gets his assignment from Church and then Trench shows up. Both Church and Trench don’t really do anything for the rest of the film which is unfortunate but it was such a fun scene to have the 3 of them in the same room like that. The banter and hype levels in that scene where through the roof. It was only one scene but you could already see a solid dynamic between the characters.

That’s really one of the biggest strengths of the film. The characters all have big egos and are top notch in their respective fields. Only the best of the best can be Expendables and if you are in a position where you’re a rival or working for Church then you’re at that level too. So there’s a lot of tough talk throughout the film and it works well. The banter here is very strong and the writing is definitely on point. I don’t think the film would be nearly as good without that. Even the villains talk tough to each other the whole time. In this movie, everyone can talk tough and everyone can fight hard which makes for a good balance.

Then of course there is a lot of action throughout the movie as well. The gun fights don’t hold back and we also get a lot of close combat battles as well. The film never really runs out of explosions and fighting. The highlight fight would probably be Yin taking on Gunner since that felt like a real boss fight. Of course seeing the heroes beating up on the random minions is cool too and all but it’s always nice when you have a villain who can really fight back as well. The characters all have different fighting styles too which works out well so it’s not all the same kind of action scene throughout.

The movie has some decent themes as well. They may not be super memorable or anything but they work well enough with the scenes. Expendables is a film that moves fairly quick so you’ll be at the end of the film in no time. There isn’t a whole lot of down time between action scenes either. So as long as you’re enjoying the hype of all these characters looking so good then you’re definitely going to have a blast here.

While the movie is very intense, I would say a lot of the action is very stylized so it’s not too bad. It’s much more like John Wick than Halloween for example. So most of the scenes are over quick and I wouldn’t say they dwell on the violent scenes. The only scene that was a bit much is when Sandra is tortured by the villains through waterboarding. I definitely could have done without that as that’s always the kind of grit I’d rather the film just skips. We know these guys are villains and don’t really need to go any further than that. It hurts the film’s momentum a bit there.

That’s really the only issue I had with the film though. Beyond that you’ve got a fun cast and lots of action which is always a good combo. Barney works well as the main character and clearly has a lot of experience here. Without him getting the group set they probably would have been in for a rough time. You also get the impression that he is the glue that keeps the team together. He’s always got a quick comment ready to defuse any situation as needed. That’s not something that just anyone could do.

Christmas is a solid right hand man as well. I like his confidence and he may be the only character who surpasses Barney in that aspect. Christmas really isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and may be the best close quarters fighter in the group aside from Yin. You can always count on Christmas to get in there and get the job done. He also has the best working relationship with Barney and their banter is a lot of fun.

Now, if you are a fan of the Expendables as a team then you may be disappointed that quite a few of their members don’t do much. Aside from the main two who spend most of the film without the rest of the group, the only ones to do much of anything are Gunner and Yin. The rest are saved until the climax where they help out but the film is nearly over by then. For Yin, he’s a solid fighter but I was surprised that he wasn’t a bit stronger.

The whole time you figure that he is absolutely going to crush his opponent and instead he’s on the losing side. Perhaps that’s not so bad but as his first big fight you just expected him to do better. I suppose martial arts aren’t as handy when you’re fighting someone who is already an expert fighter in their own right but I still thought it would go down a bit differently.

As for Gunner, well I definitely didn’t like him. The guy completely cracked and the first thing he thinks to do is to join the other side? Nah, I don’t want someone like that on my side. That means you can absolutely never trust him again and so that really means that he’s an absolute liability. Once you go traitor you don’t really go back so easily.

As for the heroine Sandra, well she gets a lot of credit for being so tough under pressure. Ultimately she never betrays her ideals and also stays home until the very end. It may have been wise to leave but now she can proudly tell her people that she was here from start to finish. It was definitely not an easy journey either. The villains really gave her a tough time here. As for the villains themselves, well Garza got better by the end but he’s really not smart at all. The scene where he starts to give a big speech while surrounded by the other villains was a really horrible idea and you can immediately tell how that’s going to go.

As for Monroe, well he’s your classic villain leader who just wants a lot of power. Not much to say about him and I can’t say that I liked the guy at all. Posturing is all good and well to an extent but beyond that you need more of a big plan to stay in power. Even if things didn’t go great for the Expendables he still would have been doomed down the line.

Oh yeah there’s also a small romance subplot where Christmas finds out that his girlfriend is cheating on him. It feels like an extremely random subplot to be sure and that should have definitely ended the romance right away. There wasn’t much of a good excuse either. In their line of work the Expendables probably shouldn’t start a romance anyway since it might end badly though. At that point you should probably just fly solo because it’s such a dangerous profession.

Overall, The first Expendables film is pretty fun. It’s nice to get the nonstop action here as the heroes all show their stuff. I look forward to Church and Trench getting bigger roles next time though. They had the best scene here so imagine what they can do with some real screen time? The rest of the Expendables squad needs to get more action next time too though because you could really say that over half of this film is just the Barney and Christmas show. The others really got the shaft for the vast majority of the film.

Overall 6/10

The Boy With the Green Hair Review

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Green hair may not sound like a big deal to you but in this film it is a very grave matter that causes the whole town to go crazy. The film sometimes takes itself a little too seriously here. The main character could have been better too but ultimately it’s a nice enough film that you should have fun with. In the end the main message here is that you have to watch out for peer pressure.

The movie starts with a kid being found by the police in a rather distressed state. He is completely bald and can’t seem to talk at all. They send in for Dr. Evans to see what’s up here. Evans is good with people in general and figures out how to get Peter to talk a bit. Evans does this by using an ice cream and some food he had ready for dinner. Peter begins to tell him a story about what happened here which takes up the rest of the film. See, Peter is an orphan whose parents died in the war. Peter was bounced around from home to home until he finally got to stay with Gramps.

Gramps is a very nice man who did his best to cheer Peter up. His only mistake here was that he didn’t have the heart to tell Peter that he was an orphan. Peter goes through school rather normally but people are still talking about war and he’s concerned. One day he wakes up with green hair and even meets a bunch of orphans in the woods. They tell him that he must stop the wars and Peter is unsure of what to do. The whole town is after him to get rid of the green hair and Peter isn’t sure of whether he can even get the message out to end the wars.

Now this plot takes you rather deep into the movie but I felt like I had to include the green hair part since it’s in the title. Surprisingly the green hair doesn’t come in until we’re almost halfway through the film though. A lot of the film is really Peter getting used to daily life and helping out Gramps. I wouldn’t say Peter is overly spoiled or anything but he hasn’t exactly had a stable living environment in a long time so you can certainly see why it is difficult for him to even get used to normal activities. He’s not exactly a happy camper but that’s where Gramps comes in.

Gramps has to be the standout character here because every scene is really him trying to make life happier for Peter. Gramps is absolutely an optimist and even has some fun stories. Early on we get a story involving Gramps being invited to the castle and shenanigans ensue. I thought for a minute there that the film was going to be filled with these skits of imaginary events but this was the only one. An odd way to start with the song and all though.

Then the film gets a little more serious once the green hair plot starts but almost to an extent where it feels out of place. At first nobody even notices the green hair and I thought this was intentional as the plot would be that it’s a big deal to Peter but nobody else cares. Well, it was just a delayed reaction because then everyone notices and starts panicking left and right. Who’d have thought that the green hair would be such a big deal right?

It all feels like a big overreaction. Chasing Peter around may make sense for the kids since they’ll do anything but once the adults also start weighing in on how Peter should shave his hair off and all, you find that a bit hard to believe. In large part this is because Peter was running around telling everyone to stop fighting wars and all..but he’s just a little kid. I wouldn’t even say he was being too aggressive about this. He wasn’t doing any protesting or yelling, the kid was just running around town talking to everyone. Usually the adults would probably just assume that he would get bored after a while and stop. So the reactions here didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Then there’s the scene with the kids in the woods. Personally I’m assuming that they’re all ghosts although I forget if the film makes that explicit. Otherwise..a bunch of orphans are just hiding out in the woods? I dunno if I can buy that one. Of course they tell Peter that he has to use his green hair as a symbol to change the adult’s minds and bring about peace which is great and all, but again you don’t feel like having green hair is going to have such a big impact.

The scenes with the kids are both so somber too. It doesn’t really match with the rest of the film which I would still consider to be rather lighthearted. By the time we get back to the present, I also don’t feel like this should have traumatized Peter nearly as much as it did. It was all a bad experience of course but to be so silent and distressed, I just thought things would be worse. Fortunately Evans did well so the characters still have a happy ending.

Evans also deserves a lot of credit here. His role is rather small but he does come through when it counts. Without him Peter would still be completely depressed. Evans also gave it to Peter plainly at the end. He didn’t pretend to believe the fantastic story or anything and just told him that he didn’t believe it. Evans still gave him a pep talk and made everything work out though. The police called up the right man for the job here.

Overall, The Boy With Green Hair is a decently good film. I think it could have been a little bit better if the whole green hair part was handled a little differently. The reactions are just all too extreme and it also takes a while for the green hair to kick in. I don’t think Peter should have cared about how his hair looked as much or the rest of the town to be honest. If they’re so nervous of the anti war message that a kid can take them down, then they really ought to prepare more or just switch sides. If the main character had been adult then these plots may have worked better like the job having a no green hair policy or something and that would be the dilemma about spreading the message. If you’re up for a decent slice of life adventure though then you should check this one out.

Overall 6/10

Surrogates Review

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Surrogates is a pretty interesting take on a world where robots have become the new in thing. It gives a good amount of time to tackling the prospect of this even if I find it hard to believe that this would ever become the norm or that one company could possibly be the only one that can make them. Still, while you’ll be suspending disbelief throughout the whole film, I think it’s safe to say that you’ll have some fun with this one.

The movie starts off by explaining the situation. So one company was able to find out a way to make robots that you can mentally link too. So you buy a robot and then you can stay at home while the other “You” heads outside to buy supplies, go to work, etc. It can feel everything you can so it really feels like you’re out and about but now you can always use a young robot so that you stay in your prime 20s as opposed to looking like you’re 50. By and large people have all begun using these to the point where the crime rate has dropped to being almost nonexistent now. The world has finally achieved global peace. There is just a small faction of humans who oppose this and have created little communities in each state where only humans are allowed.

This peace has lasted until now but one day a robot is murdered and somehow the owner is destroyed along with it. This was supposed to have been completely possible but now this peace may be ripped apart in an instant. After all, if the owner is at risk then the whole surrogate system just got a whole lot more risky. Tom is on the case but along the way he sees just how dependent people are on their surrogate robots…and he doesn’t like it. Will this journey cause him to rethink everything he thought he knew about the system?

Of course the danger gives us a plot to chew on as the film goes through but for the most part I’d say this movie is really about taking a look at how things would really play out if this was the case. In some ways the film probably has it right that most people would jump on board with this and you would just have the resistance saying that it isn’t quite right. Having a robot would just be too convenient for most people to ignore. I do think the real forms of the humans should have looked way more overweight and out of shape though considering how extensive this is.

In the film we see how people use their surrogates to walk around, go to work, and even to be used inside their own house. It’s so extensive that having a real person walking around outside is a pretty big deal. So unless the humans are vigorously working out every day after work (Which seems very doubtful) I don’t see how their health would last for very long at all. We can assume that other technology was built in order to keep everyone fit but that would be a massive assumption considering that it’s never mentioned at all.

Additionally, I don’t think surrogates would achieve world peace. Far from it, I could see it accelerating things because people will be more detached from life. It’s almost like you would be living in a video game at that point as you’re controlling robots which can move at superhuman speeds and have super strength. We see this with Tom’s character as he chases down a human. The robots are able to do a whole lot so people wouldn’t be tempted to use this for crime? I just really don’t see how this would make the world more peaceful, certainly not on its own.

It was fun to see the human resistance though and I thought that side of things was fun as well. I 100% could see such settlements becoming a big thing although it’s almost hard to imagine them being left alone to live a normal life in a world where every country has united like this. I’m glad that they were left alone for a while here. Now there is a twist that undermines one part of the movement but I like to think that most of the characters here were on the level and actually didn’t support the robots. It would be kind of ironic if they all owned surrogates as well though. Would be like someone saying they don’t use the internet but they just so happen to have a smart phone.

For the story itself, the mystery’s pretty decent. It’s a very by the books kind of film with regard to the plot though so I wouldn’t say that it sticks out or anything. The cast isn’t very large so the suspects are limited in who’s really responsible for all of this. There’s corruption as always and it’s hard to trust anyone. You’ll be invested in the film well enough to see it through to the end though. There aren’t a lot of action scenes or anything like that but we do have a fun chase scene. As a side note, the surrogate they chose for Tom is fun. You immediately know that it’s Bruce Willis because of the facial expressions but that wig is crazy.

Tom’s a decent character but he does tend to fly off the handle a bit. The scene of him beating up the random guy at his apartment was certainly an odd one that’s for sure. I do think he makes the right call in the climax of the film though. The rest of the characters aren’t likable even if I wouldn’t call them bad. They aren’t given much focus though and we don’t even know much about who they really are because of the whole robots angle. Tom’s wife seems to be going through a mid-life crisis as she uses her younger robot and prefers not to use her real body at all. She also hangs out with some friends that are rather crude and doing drugs.

Those guys were definitely the weakest characters here. You’ve got Tom’s boss who never has his back when it counts and the prophet who is always talking a lot but doesn’t seem like a very nice guy. The film may have a bit of a jaded view of society here as everyone is really only working in their own self interests. Aside from Tom, nobody really seems interested in good ole justice or doing much of anything. The military is the only one who takes Tom seriously about this gun that could hurt people and seemingly it’s only so they could have it in their possession.

I do question why nobody else was as big onto this case though. Think about it, the world is now populated by the Surrogates to the point where almost everyone uses them. If you’re the only guy with a gun that can take them out and the owners in one shot, would that not be the most valued item in the entire world? I would think everyone would be scrambling for that. Of course this does lead me to one last moment of disbelief.

There’s no way that only one company would have this technology. Someone would steal it and make their own version or reverse engineer the code. You’d have a ton of different companies manufacturing this. I’d go one step further to say that if one company figured out how to make a gun that gets through the defenses, more would as well. This is all very convenient to work towards the ending of the film but I’m not buying it. It’s a bit of an issue with the writing since the entire film revolves around these two truths. That there is only one gun and only one company. With any more then the ending falls apart so I don’t think it stands up to close inspection.

Plot holes or things that don’t make sense aren’t the kinds of things that really hurt a film though. What keeps this film from being higher is that it really ends before the concepts can be explored further and the cast isn’t that good. It’s hard to root for almost anyone here. Tom’s good but even he has his random moment where he attacks that random robot and makes himself look bad. The scene of the characters doing drugs also just felt really out of place. More action scenes could have spiced things up but as this isn’t that kind of movie, I think just giving us some more good characters and expanding the scope of what we see could have worked. It’s not a concept that is easily to dive into even with 2-2.5 hours but there’s still more that could have been done with it.

Overall, Surrogates is a fun film. I think it could have been even better with a longer length as we see more of the effects that this has on the society as a whole. Of course who wouldn’t want to have a robot right? The downsides would likely still outweigh the positives and the film certainly seems to take that stance as well. It makes for a fun hypothetical and is probably one of the better dystopian settings that I’ve seen in a while. Certainly feels more realistic than the Hunger Games or Divergent at least. If you want to look at a possible future timeline, this is a good one to check out.

Overall 6/10

Angel has Fallen Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The first two films were fun and this one’s solid as well although I’d definitely say it isn’t quite as good as the first two. I always liked the idea of Mike Banning and the President fighting everyone off or the main guy having to go up against an army. This one ends up ditching a lot of that for a more personal film and it’s just hard to successfully lower the stakes like this. As a result it is the weakest of the first 3 films but is still a good title all around.

The movie starts off with Mike enjoying a routine fishing trip with Trumbull who has now become the President. Unfortunately that’s when the drones fly in and murder everyone except for Mike and the President. Unfortunately the President is now in a coma so he can’t vouch for Mike and there’s a lot of evidence around so it looks like Mike is the one who pulled this large scale robotic assault off. The FBI led by field agent Helen quickly agree that a frame up is completely out of the question and Mike Banning who has successfully saved the President’s life on two occasions and has defended America from two previous invasions must have turned evil for some quick cash. Mike realizes that these guys are completely delusional and escapes but how can he prove his innocence before he is taken down?

So this is the classic Fugitive storyline but I really think the FBI look bad in quickly putting Mike as the villain without a doubt. I mean, this is a textbook frame up job and the fact that they never even entertain this idea is sad. I do think the FBI looks awful here in general though. Later on when they’re finally given some evidence they decide to pay a visit to the guy who is assumed to possibly be the master mind of the villains. At the very least he is a big suspect so of course the two FBI agents show up without backup and are quickly gunned down. I mean, was there ever any other way this could have gone down? They did not think this one through at all and man did it make them look bad.

In general that can always be an annoying thing when the hero is framed. It’s not as bad as in titles like Naruto or Saint Seiya where it’s totally nutty since they know him personally but I would still expect Mike to be given more of a chance. He does well on the run though and his experience means that it is difficult to stop him. A lot of the film is really just him buying time to get away. Once the fight starts up then he’s easily able to get through the situation. The villains aren’t nearly as strong as in the first two films.

I do have some issues with how the U.S. looks here once again though. So once we have the President secured we take him to a hospital that is quite easily attacked by the villains? I feel like if the president was ever attacked in real life and we couldn’t safely transport him somewhere, the hospital is immediately going to be secure like Fort Knox. We’re bringing people in from everywhere and establishing a tight perimeter. No way we leave it this unguarded the whole time. It just makes absolutely no sense if you ask me. The villain forces don’t even look all that impressive compared to what we saw in the first two films.

The fights also aren’t as good as in the last two with a lot more jump cuts here. I guess what I’m getting at is that if you compare this film directly to the previous 2 then it loses in almost every single way. This film is best when you aren’t comparing it. If you look at it as a stand alone title then it’s still a good action film. We do have a lot of fights, Mike is a good character, and the movie has good writing. Those are all the solid fundamentals you need in order to be a good movie after all provided that you make no big mistakes.

The security seems lax in almost every scene but at least for the intro I can say that it would be pretty hard to stop drones that are all blowing up like this. I also think going fishing like that is super dangerous but in real life it’s hard to imagine hundreds of sci-fi looking drones coming out like this either. That part is a little hard to buy into even though we do have drones in real life. Firing them all off like that all of a sudden though? I don’t think it’s so easy.

Mike’s father gets to appear here but he’s really not all that great. I mean he’s a decent guy who helps out but the “Old guy who is a conspiracy nut against the government” character has been done so much better in other films. This guy doesn’t leave as much of an impact although I did like the scene where he sets off an explosion that creates a chain reaction for hundreds of other explosions. That was a fun scene. It could be a little over the top but I’ll let it slide since I can buy into it. If you have so much spare time why wouldn’t you continue making the trap more and more dangerous right?

Also, Mike is slightly nerfed in this film because he is just too old now. He suffers from headaches and can’t stay off the pain medication. So he isn’t in his prime like in the first two films but I would say that he’s barely lost a step. He can still fight as needed. As for Trumbull, he is a good President here and remains as a solid character but he doesn’t get to do much since he is unconscious for most of the film.

Overall, Angel Has Fallen is trying to take a different approach from the first two films which is always nice but the whole time you are waiting for things to heat up again. The climax is good and we do have some intense action scenes but it’s a lot more relaxed compared to the first two films. I’m hoping the next film goes back to normal with Mike having to take out whole armies.

Overall 6/10

Kenny Rogers as The Gambler Review

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The Gambler is an interesting wild west film because it’s not focused on the shootouts and instead the card playing is a big focus here. Of course with a title like The Gambler you would expect that. The actual card game has to be one of the big highlights in the film. It’s definitely a good film and holds up pretty well compared to a lot of wild west kind of titles.

The Gambler starts off by introducing us to Brady. He is an extremely good gambler to the point where nobody can really hope to defeat him. He sees a young guy named Billy Montana who is getting himself into trouble by cheating a lot and beating everyone. Brady saves him from a rough fate and then takes most of Billy’s money after beating him in a bunch of games. The two of them head on to a train which is heading to a world championship tournament for big gamblers. Billy is super excited to be entering the tournament of course although Brady isn’t heading there. He got a message from his son Jeremiah that he and his mother are in trouble so Brady’s off to the rescue. Can he really stop the new guy who has taken over the town though?

Brady didn’t even know he had a kid before now. He had ultimately split up with Eliza a while back and as the film goes on we learn more of the circumstances surrounding that. I wouldn’t say every question is answered but we see that it wasn’t really up to Brady. This ultimately doesn’t make Eliza look great especially getting together with this new guy who was Brady’s rival. I’d like more of an explanation on how this whole situation went down because it’s just hard to see. Rufe is shown to be a really awful guy right from the start.

As you can expect he doesn’t end up doing great once it’s time to fight personally. All he can really do is hide behind others to stay in the battle. Otherwise he’s completely out of his league and he knows it. His scenes are definitely the worst ones in the film like striking Eliza and threatening Jeremiah. It’s always more fun when we’re focused on the Brady plot.

The train isn’t the safest spot either though. The owner of the train is one of those sleezy types who wants his customers to do him favors. Fortunately Brady was around and we even get a quick fight scene where he takes someone out with his cane. Brady may be a great card player but I should mention that he is also an excellent fighter. He is old so Brady can’t move as well nowadays but he does have his gun at the ready. One of his better moments is when he breaks into the tavern to save Billy.

Of course his card game against the old rival was another great moment. We got to see how each player would wager their bets and there was a lot of good strategy here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film that was truly just about the cards and from this film I can safely say that it would probably be a lot of fun. I may not play card games very often myself but they were fun to watch. It may be a little more luck than most gamblers would like to admit but there is also skill involved. This almost could have been the climax of the film since the fight with Rufe feels more like an after thought.

Billy ends up being an excellent character by the end too. At first he is a bit annoying with all the cheating. The guy claims to be confident but he is cheating so often that it’s hard to take this very seriously. If he was really super good then surely he wouldn’t need to cheat right? Then there is the fact that he enters the super suspicious tavern even after he is warned not too by Brady. Brady made it obvious that this was a bad idea but of course Billy didn’t listen and it nearly cost him everything.

So the first half was rough but in the second half he has a lot of good moments like sticking up for Eliza along with Brady, throwing the gun out the window, and of course his role in the climax. Billy was able to take down a whole lot of enemies at once and seemed really good with the gun considering that he just got it. It was a good way to continue his character arc and you could tell that he did learn from his earlier mistakes. That was nice to see.

I wasn’t a big fan of Jeremiah though. The kid definitely gets into a whole lot of trouble and blames Brady quickly before learning the full story. For Eliza I question her decision making here in being with Rufe from the start and leaving Brady. Without more details I can’t say this for sure of course but it doesn’t seem like the right decisions were made. At least we learn that she did try escaping a few times but he would always find her so I guess at that point it was too late. She should have gone with Brady and Jeremiah at the end though. There’s really no reason to stay.

So The Gambler is a pretty well balanced film. The adventure is good and it’s nice to see Brady sharing the wisdom the whole time. He has a lot of good dialogue and shows his wisdom throughout the film. He’s great at cards, gunfights, and just knows what he is doing the whole time. His final scene about calling bluff with the villain was also handled really well. Really a perfect way to end things for his character.

The only part of the film that’s weak is any scene where we have to see Rufe. Any scene with him is usually very annoying and can be brutal. Part of why you would never want to live in the Wild West is because there was really no justice in a bunch of these places. It seems like the villains would often own the towns and then that would be game over. Even the train of course was corrupt and things would have gotten dicey if Brady wasn’t around. Definitely not a whole lot of people to trust out here.

Overall, If you’re looking for a very climactic card fight this is the film to check out. The battle with Brady’s rival is a lot of fun and the game goes on for quite a long while. It’s nice and I wouldn’t mind if they ditch the gun angle entirely and we just focus on the gambling. It could really hold a whole film by itself without a doubt. We’ll see if the sequels are ultimately able to keep up with this one.

Overall 6/10

Christmas in Connecticut Review

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You can’t really go wrong with a Christmas in Connecticut although of course I would recommend New York first and foremost. This is a very classic comedy/romance title that really goes all out in how crazy it can be. The romance is particularly weak which holds the film down a bit but ultimately I would say it’s still decent. It should keep you entertained all the way through which is always good.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jefferson and his friend from the army as they are stranded at sea. They’re slowly floating along after having been at a warzone but so far nobody has spotted them. A few weeks later they are finally found but it was a tough voyage and Jefferson longs for a home cooked meal. His nurse Mary figures that she will send him to Elizabeth, known as the best cook around. Elizabeth’s employer Alexander thinks this is a tremendously good idea and also invites himself to her home in Connecticut. There is just one problem, Elizabeth does not have a home in Connecticut and she doesn’t know how to cook. It’s all just been a bunch of lies that she has been pedaling with the help of her legendary cooking friend Felix. If she comes clean now then she will be fired along with her editor so she has decided to play the ultimate gamble and pretend that the life is real. To do this, she even goes as far as to finally agree to marry John since she is supposed to have a husband and kid. He’s thrilled about this since he’s always wanted to be with her so he aims to make this official with a ceremony before she can back out. Then you have Jefferson who likes her as well but is worried about making a play on a married woman. What will happen next?

So there’s quite a lot going on here and the movie always has a frantic feeling about it. The characters are always running this way and that way to keep the deceptions up and monitor many situations at once. It’s rather impressive just how much they are balancing at the same time although the heroes often make everything harder on themselves. Just think, they could have had the marriage wrapped up if they just left the people by the door a few minutes longer instead of dashing off to open it.

Of course, Elizabeth was glad to do so since she really didn’t want the wedding. It shows just why this was not a great decision on her part. Effectively she was going to get married to someone that she didn’t like in order to keep her job. Marriages for business and such happen of course but it’s certainly not something I would root for. By the end you almost start to feel bad for John since he is the one who will certainly lose out in the end. Elizabeth likes to quite openly flirt with Jefferson in front of John. If anything John should have enough self respect to start shutting this plan down earlier. I suppose he was that desperate to be with her.

This is why the romance is weak though. You don’t care for either character by the end. John is overly desperate to be with Elizabeth even though he knows that she doesn’t like him. Then you have Elizabeth who has been lying for her entire career and seems to enjoy tempting Jefferson into having an affair with her. Even though she knows that he is trying to resist since she is “married”, Elizabeth keeps trying to ensnare him. It’s definitely a very shady thing she’s doing here.

I did like her boss Alexander though. He’s one of those guys who has really climbed his way to the top and is used to getting what he wants now. He is quite outspoken and decisive whenever he is making a move. Just the kind of guy you want as a boss and while that means he may be slow to see deception, he gives his team a fair shake. He’s a guy you feel bad for by the end since he really did his best at every corner. When a baby is seemingly kidnapped Alexander wastes absolutely no time in calling up the cops, the army, and everyone he can think of. He’s just a good man who is put into a rough spot here.

I also enjoyed the cook, Felix. Felix really knows how to cook and isn’t really a fan of what’s going on here. He wants to make sure that Elizabeth and John don’t get together and does what he can to push them apart. He tends to panic quite a bit but the reactions are always funny. Side characters exist to support the main ones and make the film even better so Felix really succeeds in that role.

As for Jefferson, well I don’t like him either. For starters, while he does resist in getting together with Elizabeth, he certainly cuts it very close. The guy still goes with her on a ride and they have a lot of adventures together. All the while he was already engaged to Mary, the nurse from the hospital. The ending gets very convenient for Jefferson but otherwise he just proved himself to be a very unreliable guy. Someone who quickly jumps from one girl to the next. That’s not what you want to see from the main guy here and he was trying to manipulate Mary at first so he could get some food.

While the characters are able to keep up the charade for a while, I have to say that they didn’t plan any of it very well. Not only did Elizabeth not tell almost anyone which leads to people spilling the beans but then she didn’t even know what gender her baby was, or have any setup for that. She really boxed herself in by saying that the kid was sick as otherwise she could have said he was with the grandparents or something. She did at least attempt to learn cooking from Felix so I’ll give her that. She just gets lucky for most of the film and a lot of the time you figure that everyone would have already figured things out if this wasn’t a comedy.

Overall, Christmas in Connecticut may be lacking a bit compared to other rom-coms because of how the romance angle is fairly weak. That said, it does still have enough good points to keep it in the green. For starters, the writing is still solid. The pacing is good and you will be entertained the whole time. With the characters not being very likable for the most part you may have a tough time actually rooting for the leads (I was rooting for them to get exposed by the boss) but the film is still able to hold itself up. This wouldn’t be my first recommendation but it wouldn’t hurt to check it out.

Overall 6/10