Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Speed 2: Cruise Control Review

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It’s time to look at a film about trying to stop someone from ramming a big boat into an island. As a film in the Speed series you’re definitely expecting a lot of destruction and this film doesn’t disappoint in that regard. At the same time, there is so much destruction here by the end that it almost becomes a bit of a parody by the end. The amount of people dying off screen has to be enormous and the main characters barely seem to care. I really feel like part of this was meant to be a parody at different moments and the film ultimately switched gears at some point in production.

The movie starts with Officer Alex getting involved in a high speed chase to stop someone in a truck. Alex succeeds after pulling off some big stunts as his girlfriend Annie shows up upon failing her driving test. She reminds Alex that she broke up with the lead from the first film because of his dangerous stunts so Alex should have told her he was a cop. He had apparently been lying throughout their whole relationship which isn’t a great start. He decides to deflect the issue by asking her out to a cruise. Annie agrees and once there Alex intends to propose but Annie doesn’t seem receptive to the idea. The plans are all thrown out the window when a terrorist shows up and assumes direct control of the ship. Alex must stop this guy fast or everybody is about to die.

So let’s get this out of the way first. The romance in this film is pretty bad. Annie has a legitimate reason to be very upset with Alex here because now she can’t trust anything he’s said to her. If he’s been lying all this time about his job then he could have been lying about other stuff too. Ultimately she is still willing to give him a chance, but then he starts to get pushy about marriage right away. This is the absolute worst time for that considering what she just learned. Alex is also upfront about the fact that he lied to her because he knew she would break up with him. He doesn’t seem particularly apologetic about it either and actually gets pretty defensive the whole time. So yeah…the romance is pretty bad here. The film also throws in a kid getting a crush on Alex for some reason.

What you’re here for is the action though and Speed 2 delivers on it. Ocean based action is not nearly as exciting as on the ground, but it works well enough. There are a bunch of scenes where you can barely see anything through the smoke, fire, or darkness though so those scenes don’t work quite as well though. The movie has a ton of other action scenes that are well lit though so you’re still in for a good amount of it. The movie rarely gives you any time to relax between action segments so you can rest assured that something is always happening. It may not always make a lot of sense but that’s another story. As long as you like action that should keep the film in the green.

Romance aside, Alex seems like a reasonable character. He’s very knowledgeable and you can see why he would make for a good cop. The guy is quick on his feet and always ready for the next challenge. He does a good job in most of the situations and doesn’t just believe the computer screens so easily. The guy does mess up a few times though like not shooting John in the corridor. There’s almost no point to pointing a gun at someone if you’re still going to let them fiddle with a computer and continue to move. At least shoot the computer or the leg. If you don’t want to murder someone, a shot to the leg or an arm will never destroy them in a film anyway so that’s the move. Later on there’s also an odd scene where Alex tracks down the villain and Annie and instead of immediately going for the villain he takes time to console Annie and share a romantic moment. John really should have just kicked him off the plane during this moment to be honest.

As for Annie, she’s an okay character but I had my issues with her too. She’s a little too forgiving of Alex’s antics and does complain a lot. When she ship starts going down she quickly tells Alex not to look into it because they’re on vacation. She’s more interested in him sticking around like a civilian than getting to the bottom of this which is really not good. She’s definitely not interested in being a hero and not everyone is going to be one, but you shouldn’t stop someone else from trying to save the day.

Then we have John who is a decent villain at best. He’s a little more crazy than interesting at times though like with the leeches. I suppose the strategy apparently works, but it’s still pretty disturbing. He gets by on a ton of luck throughout the film though. The scene of him taking out the captain may even make you laugh at how absurd the whole thing is. The Captain keeps walking into every hit and acting confused the whole time instead of yelling like a sane person or backing up. If he took a step back he would have been okay. Why didn’t he even try fighting back? The whole scene was pretty crazy and I had to shake my head at what I saw there. Then nobody has any security cameras on the ship so they don’t see John running around. Nobody sees him moving on the ship and nobody changed any of the passwords after this guy was let go. Even when he takes down a doorman nobody finds out. John’s more annoying than anything. At least he gets his classic laugh a lot.

The ending is definitely crazy but I’ll give the film props for not making it a perfect 10/10 ending for the heroes I suppose. There is a ton of collateral damage as the heroes are just unable to stop this guy. He rams his boat through a bunch of buildings and ultimately he takes out two ships. It’ll take ages for the city to rebuild so in a way the villain got the last laugh here. The final explosion with the second ship is the most out of the blue part of the film though. You’ll see what I mean when you watch the film. You’ll feel bad for it because those guys were just minding their own business.

The side characters are reasonable here. The girl who can’t hear has an odd plot point but for the most part she doesn’t take away from the film. Her parents are pretty annoying the whole time though and their redemption arc is pretty rushed. The members of the crew are all pretty terrible though. How did they not notice John intentionally pressing a lot of buttons as he pretended to be drunk? That was their worst moment since a good portion of the film could have been avoided or changed a bit otherwise. It will stretch your disbelief a bit. They also give Alex a tough time throughout the movie even when he is helping them out. Can’t they just get out of his way and let him do his thing? Even right up to the end they’re second guessing him and telling him to go with the rest of the crew. At least the camera guy was doing his best to help out.

Overall, Speed 2 is a reasonable film. A lot of the film can’t really be taken too seriously but it holds up as a thriller that really doesn’t give you a moment to relax. Something is always happening even if it isn’t quite as intense as the first one. The scenes that are poorly lit just can’t give you the same rush because you can’t see what is happening. Additionally I’m not a big fan of water both in real life and films. It’s just not a very interesting element to fight against so the heroes swimming around can get old. We still do have our gunfights to compensate for this though. If you’re looking for a good action film to check out then this one works. It’s pretty much got everything you could want out of a thriller.

Overall 6/10

The House That Dripped Blood Review

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It’s time to look at a horror anthology. I’m not big on horror films and I’m not big on anthologies so I can’t say that I went into this one with high hopes. That said, it was actually quite a bit better than what I was expecting to the point where I could call this a good film. Maybe not an amazing film but better than over 90% of the other titles I’ve seen in the genre. This is how you should handle atmosphere and scares. It feels a bit like the Twilight Zone episodes of old.

The base plot connecting all of these segments is about an inspector trying to find an actor who has gone missing. He talks to a real estate agent who calmly explains to the inspector that the house is pretty sinister so bad things happen there. The inspector isn’t impressed but decides to stick around as he listens to a few stories. Did the house really cause all of these murders or was it in the wrong place at the wrong time? One thing’s for sure, a lot of bad things do tend to happen here.

The first story is about a writer who decides to move into the house. The house is in really bad condition but he feels like this will actually help him in coming up with ideas which is a decent rationale I suppose although I’m not sure it’s worth buying a house for a few months though. He begins his next murder book about a strangler and gets so engaged in the material that he starts to see the guy around. Is he going crazy or is the strangler actually here? This may end up being the last book he writes.

This was a pretty good way to start the saga. We got some twists and turns and there was a good amount of tension here. You can interpret the ending a few different ways. Personally, I took it as the guy who was hired was legitimate but what he didn’t count on was the spirit still residing in the house from the picture which ultimately took him over and gave us the twist ending. The writer definitely seemed a little crazy from the start which is the only way this plan could have worked from the start. If he had a bit more control he would have realized that something was up.

The next story is about the main guy heading over to a wax museum. One of the statues looks a lot like a lady he used to like. He stares for a while but then the owner drops some cryptic threats about it so the guy decides to never return. Unfortunately an old friend of his stops by and insists that they return. The guy has no self-control either so he keeps on going back to the place and the owner doesn’t like that very much. This is sort of like an abridged version of the Wax Museum films but handled a lot more tastefully. It’s a little hard to believe how badly the guy does against an old man with an axe though. You can probably see the ending coming and it’s harder to feel as sympathetic to the characters with the bad moves they make. The main guy warned his friend and at that point he shouldn’t have gone back in. It’s a little harsh but if someone keeps trying to jump into a fire you can’t follow them.

Next up was the weakest story if you ask me. A guy moves in with his daughter and she seems to be afraid of fire for some reason. The guy hires a tutor who starts to get close to the daughter but for some reason the father always prevents the tutor from getting the daughter any gifts. Eventually the daughter gets a wax doll and the father’s journey begins to reach its end. We learn some twists about the daughter but I can’t say that they justify the father’s actions in the slightest. If anything he created a self fulfilling prophecy here by being so mean to the kid. It reminds me of a villain in Fairy Tail. If you know that this character can destroy planets, why teach that person to resent everyone right away? It makes no sense and just speeds up everyone’s demise.

Then we have the classic vampire story which involves the actor. He is working on a new vampire film so he stops by a store and buys a cloak. Unfortunately whenever he wears the cloak he is overtaken by an urge to bite people. He decides not to wear it anymore but what if someone else wears it? I’m not a big vampire fan, but the story was reasonable. Mainly what made it so good was the big plot twist at the end. It was a “big brain” moment from the villains as we realize that they were always in control. It’s a very different take on how this kind of story would end and I definitely appreciated it. It also means that the villain may have even had better acting skills than the main guy.

Finally that takes us to the climax where the hardened inspector thinks this is all hogwash. I suppose that’s a reasonable reaction to this, but in a less reasonable take he rushes off to the house in the dead of night and goes straight to the basement. He actually does better in the fight against the villains than I expected, but at the end of the day you already knew how that was going to end. It was a pretty fun way to end.

One thing against the film though is that ultimately it’s really hard to pin any of this on the house. It was just an innocent bystander the whole time that was probably hoping these people would stop moving it in. It didn’t actually do anything in pretty much any of the stories. The Wax was just a crazy guy running around, (maybe the Wax location was haunted) The one with the girl was because she had powers, and the vampires already had their plan. I’m willing to defend the house in this case because I do think it was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

The writing is pretty solid here. As mentioned, it does a good job of building up the atmosphere without suddenly trying to make everything gritty and violent. That’s exactly how you’re supposed to do this. It’s a very tasteful array of horror stories and the length helps to prevent any of them from dragging on although I do think some of these could have worked as a whole film. I just doubt they would have been quite as effective. These still had time for the various plot twists and such which is really the important part if you ask me.

Overall, The House That Dripped Blood is a bit of a misleading film but it’s solid nonetheless. None of the stories are particularly bad and the best ones are quite solid. That makes for a pretty all around story since each story is pretty different. If this sounds like it’s up your alley then you should check it out or if you want more of a grounded horror movie. I think the part that will stick with you the most is that if you have an evil cloak that grants super powers and evil urges you should probably burn it or at the very least insist that nobody wears it after you. Even if you may have been able to take it off, it doesn’t ensure that the next person will be able to.

Overall 6/10

The Odd Couple II Review

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It’s time to look at the sequel to the original Odd Couple film. It’s definitely nice to see the two together again but the sequel ultimately couldn’t manage to keep a lot of what made the first film so much fun. I don’t think it was a bad idea to get these two out of the house for a sequel. You need to experiment with sequels to see what the next big thing could be. The main problem here is that it just didn’t work out which is always a risk in these kind of scenarios.

So Oscar was enjoying a nice game of poker with the crew when he gets a call that his son is getting married. Oscar’s excited for the kid and gets ready to hop on a plane, but there is one catch. His kid is getting married to Felix’s kid and Felix naturally doesn’t have a ride so Oscar is going to have to drive him over now. Oscar knows this isn’t going to end well but tries to make the most of it. The problem is that Felix immediately needs a lot of breaks to use the bathroom or to go eat. Will Oscar still make it in time for the actual wedding or is he doomed now?

In a film like this both parties will ultimately make some mistakes but there is usually one party who is clearly more at fault. In this case that would be Felix. He was just a little too unreasonable at times as he always tends to be. On the plane he couldn’t sit next to anyone and having to take so many breaks on the car is a problem. Maybe once you’re 90 or something you need to constantly stop but Felix isn’t that old yet. He can wait an extra hour without eating and then things would work out better for him. He also seems to get upset awful fast in this one as he even threatens Oscar a few times. Felix has definitely let himself go over the edge in these latter years.

Oscar is a lot of fun as always though. He tries to have a good time and has a good one liner comeback for everything Felix says. Oscar is always ready for what comes next and he just seems like a much more reasonable guy than Felix. He makes his share of mistakes like forgetting Felix’s luggage and blowing up the maps of course. I blame Felix halfway for the luggage though but the maps was all on Oscar. Oscar just seems like an easier guy to get along with. If you have a good time then he will as well. Felix is the one who always tries to make it personal.

There’s not much to say about the kids, but Oscar’s son definitely comes across as a pretty terrible character. You just can’t have second thoughts about the wedding on the last second before walking up the aisle. That’s just terrible and the worst time to have a crisis. Considering that the guy only gets a few seconds of screen time there also isn’t time to get to like the guy or to understand why he is having doubts. Maybe there are legitimate concerns but based on his scenes…probably not.

The film fumbles a bit around the halfway point with Oscar and Felix heading to a bar and flirting with some locals. The whole scene has nothing to do with anything and the age gap here is so large that its just sad. These scenes have no point being in the film and they should have been cut. I suspect they were only added in to give the heroes another scene with the cops but we definitely could have found other ways to do that. We don’t have to make Oscar look this desperate.

The police subplot was actually entertaining. It was fun to see the heroes go back to the station over and over with new crimes. That’s the kind of running gag that makes sense for a movie like this as it can ultimately tie into the ending and connect the various plots. I was half expecting to see all of the cops at the ceremony. Maybe the writers felt like that would have been a little too cheesy though. I dunno, I think it would have worked out just fine.

In terms of writing the film trips up a little as well. Felix drops in some pretty intense language which was incredibly forced. I can’t think of any time an f bomb was thrown in that wasn’t forced to be honest. It just never works no matter what the context is. Keep the language under control and your writing will always be better for it. The movie has a lot of funny moments and a lot of scenes that don’t land as you would expect for most comedy films. The pacing is solid so ultimately you stay entertained. One thing that would have helped the film further would have been to remove the random romance plot for Felix at the end. Not only is it making him look desperate again but there is not enough time to establish a relationship. I don’t care what the scenario is, a 3 hour flight is not enough time to really get to know anyone. It’s especially no good if your only reason to make conversation is because you are looking to get into a relationship.

The only organic way this can work is if you are chatting to someone because you actually just want to pass the time by. The two of you have some shared interests and that leads to being friends so you trade facebook profiles and stay in contact. Maybe 10 years later you pursue a relationship but by then both of you will have realized that nothing beats being facebook buddies. Basically what I’m getting at is that this was yet another plot that didn’t need to be in the film. It should have focused more on the banter between Felix and Oscar with scenes like driving the truck or making a bunch of stops. After a point there are too many distractions that take away from the main focus of the actual film.

Overall, The Odd Couple II is a film that should give you some laughs. The pacing is solid and it’s fun to see the main two bickering again like the good ole days. The film just should have trimmed some of the subplots like the finale which comes out of nowhere and the hanging out with two girls at the club part. Work on the writing a bit and then you’ve got a very solid film. The premise is still good and I think a reboot could possibly still work to improve upon this one. I suspect we’ll have to wait a little while for one of those though. If you really like the first Odd Couple film then you should check this one out. Just don’t expect it to be quite as good as the original.

Overall 5/10

The Pink Panther Review

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It’s time to look at the first Pink Panther film. This one surprisingly doesn’t actually have the famous Pink Panther in the movie though which was definitely an odd decision. I don’t think it ultimately worked out well and really you could have called this movie anything else in that case. There is really no connection to the show outside of the credits and such. The movie can be pretty fun and quite a lot happens here. The humor has aged well and it’s a blast and a half, but I do think some of the jokes ultimately cut too deep for some of the characters with all of the cheating going on.

The movie starts with explaining that Princess Dala now has a legendary jewel known as the Pink Panther. The government wants it, but she believes that it is hers and refuses to relinquish it. She has gone on vacation for a while to relax and take her mind off of this. Charles is a world famous thief and he’s decided to take that jewel away from her. To do this he’ll have someone kidnap her dog and when he manages to save it he’ll become her friend and get close enough to snatch the jewel. His girlfriend Simone is also here because her husband Jacques is a big detective and that guy is here to stop the Phantom (Charles) from stealing this gem. He has never succeeded in the past but there’s a first time for everything right?

Let’s start off with the positives. For starters, the film is definitely a lot of fun. Pretty much any scene with Jacques fumbling around is a blast. The guy definitely means well so you do feel bad for him when things just don’t go his way. It’s downright tragic at times. Then you’ve also got the extended car chases which are pretty neat and the party mixups with everyone having the same costume. There’s a lot of snappy dialogue and banter to be found here as well which is always a positive thing. The movie moves at a very quick pace and it isn’t afraid to go completely crazy at times. This isn’t a comedy that is trying to be super realistic.

This is just a fun movie and that’s important. Unfortunately the elements against it are just as strong. First we’ve got to get into the fact that the romance plots here are pretty iffy. So Jacques is married to Simone but she has actually been cheating on him for years with Charles. We don’t know how long this has been going on, but it’s been a very long time indeed. She’s effectively an undercover agent and the whole thing is pretty messed up. Then to make things even worse Charles’ nephew George shows up and he likes Simone too. I guess everyone just tends to like her a lot and she plays along at times to keep him distracted. All of these scenes are pretty bad and you’re just waiting for the film to resume again.

Not to be satisfied with 3 romance plots, the film throws in a 4th with Princess Dala. Charles decides to further the plan along he’ll get even closer to her so he pressures her into getting drunk and they have an affair. The scene takes forever and a day to get through and is definitely the worst scene in the film. It also makes Charles look especially bad since he intentionally got her drunk in order for her to lower her guard. There’s no way you could root for him after this. The cast is very charismatic and the characters are fun, but you just can’t get around the fact that they’re all total villains. These scenes/plotlines ultimately held the film back quite a bit.

So to recap the characters, here’s where they stand. George is one of the worst characters here and his only motivation is to cheat on his uncle with Simone. Simone’s pretty bad as she just wants to cheat on her husband with Charles. Meanwhile Charles is trying to get Dala drunk so he can cheat on Simone. The only reasonable character by the end of all this is Jacques who is just trying to catch a criminal and do the right thing. He’s a very nice guy who does everything Simone asks of him without complaint or hesitation. He’s pretty much portrayed as the perfect character but of course the film uses that against him here.

As I mentioned, it does make for a fun plot whenever Jacques acts like a klutz and messes up. He just can’t possibly hold the film on his own. At least he does get a bit of a happy ending. I’d argue that he’s still not in a great position but at least now his reputation will be improved quite a bit. Charles is even going to make sure that he gets out early by committing another robbery so it’s obvious that he’s innocent. It’s a nice thing to do, but then of course you remember that Charles is the reason he is being arrested in the first place so it ends up balancing out.

Overall, The Pink Panther is a pretty intense comedy. At times it can be a bit tragic for Jacques and the film does dwell on the various romance plots a bit too much. Throw out all of that cheating and the film would be many times better. It’s a film that is held back by all of this, but it’s still worth watching at least once. It’s too funny to pass up and they just don’t really make films like this anymore. I’m hoping the sequels can keep the humor and then improve upon the rest. I’m confident that they can do so because I don’t think the movies would be re-using these various plots so odds are that it would be a fresh start. Only time will tell though so we’ll see if that is the case.

Overall 5/10

The Bodyguard Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at a 90’s action film. You can definitely rest assured that there is a good amount of action here. The film’s a bit on the long side which isn’t really an issue but it did seem to challenge the writers a bit. In particular there is one plot that seems to go in circles more times than it should and I’ll go into more detail on that later. This is a solid film but one that could have been a whole lot better. Regardless, it’s a good way to spend 2 hours.

The film starts off with introducing us to Frank. He’s the best in the biz when it comes to being a bodyguard but he doesn’t do a lot of work anymore. That all changes when an old friend shows up and asks him to bodyguard a famous celebrity known as Rachel. Her plight is that someone has been sending her a ton of death threats and her life may be in danger. Frank doesn’t want to take the job when he sees how nobody is taking this seriously and Rachel is clearly not going to play ball. Ultimately he decides to take the gig though and it could be his toughest one yet.

There are a few things here that makes everyone look terrible. For starters, nobody actually told Rachel that she was in danger. Yes, all of the threats and such have been hidden from her, even the note left on her bed showing that the guy broke into her home. The agents figure this will just make her upset. Yeah, it’ll make her upset and that’s the point. She should know that someone is after her life. It makes her position of thinking that Frank is not necessary a bit more understandable at least in the beginning. I do think Frank also needs to take some blame here for not making sure she knew. Once he finds out he says that someone should tell her…so the guy in charge of hiding this from her claims he will do it. Naturally he does not.

Frank had no reason to trust this guy and should have told Rachel personally. My issue with Rachel though is how she acts after she knows about this. She takes it well at first until another threat comes in. Then she tells Frank that she will take it seriously and listen to him…until she doesn’t. They have a quick affair and then he pulls back thinking that this won’t be professional. To get back at him she decides to put her life in jeapordy on purpose with parties and vanishing for a few hours. She’s also putting her son in danger by doing stuff like this but doesn’t seem to notice. After more events happen she goes back to saying she will play ball…and then she rebels again in the final scenes.

Rachel’s probably got to be one of the most annoying characters I’ve seen in a while. If someone tries to murder you multiple times you’d think that you would take it very seriously at that point. Not doing so just doesn’t seem like something a reasonable person would do. I guess that’s the problem with Rachel, she doesn’t seem like a reasonable character. She’s very extreme throughout the film and while that may work in some settings, it certainly doesn’t here.

She’s surrounded by a bunch of sketchy characters as well although none of their lives are in danger so you get it a little more. Her agent in particular just loves being famous so he wants to put her life at risk as much as possible to get more records. The driver is a pretty good character. He gets with the program very quickly so I definitely appreciated that.

Rachel’s old bodyguard Tony is also reasonable. He really was doing a fine job of being a bouncer before Frank showed up so you can understand his apprehension. Also when Frank let his feelings get the best of him again and dashed off Tony was the only one to protect Rachel from someone trying to assault her. So he did step up when it counted and always did act in Rachel’s best interests. I would make the case that he may have even been a better character than Frank. I had my issues with Frank.

Before I dive into him, I have to say that Nicki’s also a pretty bad character. She seems very jealous and petty right off the bat and that only gets worse as the film goes on. It’s hard to have any real sympathy for her because of how far it all goes. Like Frank said, she should have just pursued a different career if this was going to make her jealousy levels go higher and higher. Working for the paparazzi isn’t for everyone. It’s a thankless job where you’ll be treated badly more often than not.

All right, now it’s time for Frank. He’s clearly great at his job and has a lot of skills so I won’t argue against that. What holds him back as a character is how he lets his emotions get the better of him all the time. Even starting the affair with Rachel was something he shouldn’t have done. He’s on a mission right now so that’s a clear conflict of interest and it makes him look unprofessional. Starting the affair and then suddenly cutting it off doesn’t make him look any better either. It makes him appear wishy washy. Then he takes out his frustration on innocent people like the random guy in the kitchen. Frank beats him down pretty thoroughly and you know it’s because of Rachel which makes the whole thing even worse.

Throw in the fact that he forgot to actually make sure Rachel knew the risks early on and his constant complaining and you have a lead who is not all that reliable. He can still fight so he does act as a solid bodyguard but he needs to keep a lid on those emotions. He’ll never be the next 007 or Ethan Hunt if he stays at this level. The ending of the film hopefully shows that he has some promise as he seems ready for the mission. You could probably make a pretty good sequel to this movie because the premise allows for many different stories.

All right, so for some positives now we have the fight scenes. Those are handled pretty well when they occur. Surprisingly we never get a true hand to hand fight with the villains though. Most of it is about dodging possible attempts on Rachel’s life or dealing with randoms. So it may be more accurate to say that the action scenes are good. The film is also pretty interesting which is important for a long title like this. You’ll be interested in what’s going on the whole time. There are also a few twists about the main villain which is neat. I think you’ll probably suspect something is up early with how they show the villain and how weak he seems to be, but it’s still a pretty solid twist anyway.

Overall, The Bodyguard delivers on the action and intensity. It’s a long film and does feel like a true blockbuster. The character cast is pretty weak though. Rachel really doesn’t co-operate as much as she should and Frank is way too emotional to be an agent. One more scene to show why he wasn’t cut out at this is when at night he decides to “subtly” play Rachel’s music on max volume in his home theater. Now he can’t hear anything going outside and neither can any of the security guards. Considering he was doing this on the sneak it didn’t really make a lot of sense and if the villain had been around that would have ended really badly. Don’t hire this guy as your bodyguard.

Overall 6/10

The Medusa Touch Review

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It’s time to look at a detective film. This one’s definitely a mystery that as it goes on you have to decide if the cause is supernatural. The movie has an interesting premise but it starts to drop the ball by the end and you get a little more annoyed with the characters. The flashbacks aren’t nearly as interesting as the present story either which doesn’t help the movie’s case since that is probably over half of the title.

The movie starts with Inspector Brunel showing up to an apartment after someone named Morlar. was murdered by a Darth Vader statue being smashed into him multiple times. The assailant is unclear and nobody heard anything because the land lord was busy watching his TV at max volume. Brunel isn’t happy about this but he decides not to dwell on it for now. He heads to Dr. Zonfield who was seeing Morlar as a patient for a while. Brunel figures this will help him determine if Morlar had any enemies and if this was a random crime or not. What he learns is that Morlar was fairly disturbed and believed he had supernatural powers.

As Zonfield recounts the various events to Brunel we see how Morlar used his powers in the past. He murdered quite a lot of people by moving cars and planes to ensure their demise. The guy didn’t really like people in general so he was always pretty quick to use his abilities. Zonfield was convinced they were fake even as Morlar continued to escalate his crimes over and over again. Surely they were all coincidences but Brunel begins to think they could have been real. Personally, upon hearing this fantastic story I wouldn’t have been convinced either. Mainly because most of these stories are just word of mouth so it’s hard to believe such a thing. For all we know Morlar was lying about most of those events.

As you can imagine though, the powers are quite real. I won’t reveal who finally had enough of this and tried to destroy Morlar, but they did a lousy job. Look, if you’re going to murder someone who has such powerful abilities then wouldn’t you make sure of it? The injuries would have been lethal to an ordinary man, but this person believed Morlar wasn’t ordinary so you’d expect a more thorough job. It was certainly convenient for the main characters I suppose.

The climax is also a bit tiring as a result since we see Morlar murdering just about everyone at a church and nobody wants to do anything. They’re all just watching and wondering what’s going on. The cops don’t want to listen and evacuate the place either for some reason so the body count grows quite high. The ending also implies that this is just the beginning and the roll will begin to rise even quicker with the explosion of a nuclear reactor. The heroes really don’t get much of a win in this one.

What holds the film back is how it all feels a bit mean spirited the whole time. Morlar continues to murder person after person with no real repercussions. Nobody ever does anything about it and I’d say that the flashbacks were pretty unnecessary. Even the Landlord wasn’t safe as he got thrown into this for some reason or other. Throw in the fact that he was basically unstoppable and it all feels pretty futile for the heroes the whole time.

Brunel is an okay main character. I do think he started to get convinced a little too easily though. He did a good job of trying to get the information the whole time although he definitely didn’t make things easy on Zonfield since he kept delaying her actual plans. He also seemed to slightly start getting interested in her by the end which wouldn’t be very professional but the film doesn’t really pursue that so we can roll on with the assumption that no such romance was developing. Zonfield was a pretty solid character who did well in not being intimidated by Morlar the whole time. She continues to press her points and resist his declarations that he had powers. She wasn’t going to believe so easily and she had more reason to than Brunel. Ultimately, once the plane scene happened you can see why she would believe at that point. There wasn’t really any other explanation.

The character cast is pretty small here. You’ve only got the main characters and a sidekick who’s also around. So this is a very character driven movie as we learn more and more about Morlar. The film does decide not to try and make Morlar sympathetic which is probably a good idea because that would have been very hard to believe. It does mean that we have a lot of scenes just focusing on the villain murdering people though which doesn’t make for very enjoyable moments. There isn’t a lot of fun to be had in the movie and the climax with the church being destroyed does drag on as I mentioned. The film isn’t particularly violent although those scenes do have some intense moments.

Overall, The Medusa Touch wasn’t a good movie. It could have certainly been worse, but throwing in an actual Medusa would have been a good idea in my opinion. It would have been a better villain. I would have liked to have seen more detective work in the present. The present scenes were the most interesting ones and if the film had stayed there more I think that could have worked out quite nicely. You could have a few characters giving Brunel the run around the whole time as he narrows the suspects. The problem with only having 3 characters for the whole movie is that it does make it very easy for you to figure out who the murderer is early on.

Overall 4/10

Little Women Review

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It’s time to look at a pretty old film from the 30s. I’m sure just about everyone has heard of this film though because it has gotten several remakes over the years. I can’t say I had high expectations for the film, but it still managed to underwhelm me after watching. It feels like not a lot happens in the movie and you may grow bored by the end. I think a few plots could have been cut out, particularly some of the romance and backstabbing going on.

The film is focused on the 4 main girls who are trying to lead fulfilling lives. Jo is the main character and she’s always been a tom boy much to the embarrassment of her sisters who feel this puts them in an awkward spot at social gatherings. Jo meets up with the next door neighbor Laurie and they hit it off. The thing is, she just wants to be friends while he isn’t looking for that kind of thing. Jo just wants everything to stay the same but gradually her sisters begin to get romantically involved as well. Can she really prolong the status quo?

One thing in life that always rings true is that the status quo can never stay the same forever. Even if you choose to stay single that doesn’t mean everyone else will. You also have to account for World War III, Quarantines, Natural Disasters, and many other events that would make normal life impossible. The best thing to do is enjoy the time you have now and make the most of it so you have no regrets. Jo ends up missing her chance as a result, but at least she wrote a book right? She’s an okay character I guess, but I can’t say that I particularly liked any of the characters in the movie much. Laurie’s grandfather would be the best character for me since he seemed like a nice old man. Jo’s Mom and the maid also seemed like nice characters as well.

Amy is easily the weakest of the sisters though as she helps Laurie rebound from Joe’s rejection pretty quickly. Now, Jo and Laurie were thoroughly done so it’s not cheating, but it’s still pretty iffy to go after someone like that. If you’ve got family who just had a relationship not work out, you’re not going to quickly jump in right? It makes it seem like Amy was waiting for this opportunity and that Laurie must never have been all that serious about Jo. I’ve always got to assume that the romance was not all that real if you can bounce back from it with someone else so soon. So I have to blame both Laurie and Amy here. In particular with Amy it feels like a betrayal. They’re sisters so that makes it especially personal.

Meg doesn’t get nearly as much of a role. She was the first to get into romance I suppose, but that’s about it. The main stories were still mainly about Jo. Unfortunately that did not work in the film’s favor either as her rebound plot wasn’t any good either. She ends up falling for her writing tutor and it’s hard to ignore the fact that there appears to be a significant age gap there. It could just be the actors appearing that way I suppose but since we can only judge from the visuals it is a bit dicey. I don’t think there’s necessarily a problem with an age gap within reasonable limits (both are over 18) but you can’t go too far. Ideally you should be within 2-3 years and maybe at most you can go up to 10 but even that seems a little wide to me. Regardless this romance plot comes about very quickly and nothing about it seems very natural.

The writing is also not that good which is surprising from such an old film. The movie’s never engaging and that’s due in large part to the characters not being interesting. They tend to talk about a lot of things that don’t really matter all that much and certainly don’t hold your attention. You can have a good slice of life film but this movie is missing a key ingredient. It’s missing humor and banter. There is no witty dialogue to be found here or even any scenes that will have you crack a grin. It’s not as if this is a dark or grim film. It’s fairly upbeat and all, but it’s played incredibly serious the whole time and that doesn’t do wonders for the movie. I dare say that humor is absolutely necessary in a film like this. It could be in part due to the age of the film so the humor attempts don’t really resonate but again, I’ve seen plenty of old films with snappy dialogue and solid characters. This one just isn’t one of them.

Overall, Little Women is a movie that has not withstood the test of time. I saw a film similar to this one a while back that was also not very good. The premise just needs something to give it an extra boost that this one didn’t have. If you’re going to check this film out then just be ready for a fairly uneventful experience. If you want a film with a little more excitement then you should check out the original Ghost Rider instead. Of course, that movie is very different right from the start. If you want more of a slice of life adventure then check out the original Odd Couple film. That one’s got a lot more interesting moments to it.

Overall 4/10

The Transporter Review

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It’s time to look at an action film from back in the day. I definitely know the title to this film pretty well because of the most recent installment where I saw the trailer to it a while back. It always looked pretty fun and I would say that this one is pretty solid as well. It does have some issues but ultimately it’s a very good film with a lot of hype action scenes. When you’ve got great hand to hand fight scenes like this you just can’t really go wrong.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank. He’s a villain who goes around transporting things for the criminal underworld and gets compensated for his troubles. His 3 rules are that he never looks inside the package, he always sicks to the deal, and no names. This has worked out pretty well for him in the past but that’s all about to change. This time he decides to look in the package only to find a lady inside. He ignores this and delivers as promised, but the villains double cross him and blow up Frank’s car. Now he wants revenge and that gets him involved a lot deeper in this case than he had wanted.

One big difference compared to most other leads like this is that Frank never really turns good. Even after he finds out about the girl being tied up in the package he really doesn’t care. The whole time you are expecting him to break in and try to save her but that doesn’t happen at all. I’ll give the film props for being unexpected because I didn’t see that coming at all. Ultimately Lai has to do all of the work to save herself for most of the film including breaking into the villain’s car so Frank unknowingly drives her out of there. She then seduces him into helping her cause so the film makes it clear that Frank is a villain the entire time. If anything he looks pretty terrible with all the lengths it takes Lai to convince him to help her.

The romance if you could call it that for most of the film is pretty weak. After the opening trick from Lai they do end up actually getting together but there is really no development here. It just happens and there’s no real need for the romance in this film. If you cut it out then nothing really changes which is always the sign that the romance wasn’t really needed here from the start. It could have been worse, but it still feels pretty forced into the film.

The soundtrack in the movie is definitely really good. You’ve got a lot of fast paced themes that really go well with the fight scenes and this movie has quite a lot of those so a stellar theme is very much appreciated. The action scenes are also choreographed very well. There are a lot of pretty interesting combos here. Frank is portrayed as a guy with pretty advanced martial arts and I could see the movies delving into his backstory a little more in the sequels. Some of the sidekicks are particularly impressive and the combo attacks are different from what you may be used to seeing. It’s a very unorthodox fighting style. I was also glad that the villains could fight here.

A lot of times in movies the boss can’t actually fight so he lets the minions do all of the work. That’s not the case with Bettencourt. This guy was actually beating Frank in their initial encounter which takes a good amount of skill for sure considering how good the lead looked earlier. Bettencourt’s big mistake was leaving Frank to 20 of his goons and just walking away. Had he just finished Frank right then and there then things could have been very different. I liked this guy as an antagonist though. He always had a good quip ready and seemed like a practical business man. His plan was also pretty reasonable for bumping Frank off.

Then you’ve got the cop who is always after Frank. He’s a pretty nice guy who always seems to know that something is up but doesn’t have the heart to actually go after Frank. He just wants to help people and thinks that Frank is a nice guy overall. He is crucial in helping Frank out towards the end of the film and is a charismatic side character. The thing is, his faith in Frank is actually pretty misguided. Let’s quickly go over the facts here. Frank would absolutely not have helped Lai (the girl) out if not for being forced into the situation by being targeted. He’s not as nice a guy as Tarconi seems to think.

That’s one problem with the film as well. Frank is definitely portrayed as a villain the whole time, but the film seems to try to say that he’s actually not such a bad guy. He used to be military and has hit a low in his life because he thinks his efforts were all wasted. That’s why he turned to a life of crime. That’s all fine, but once he decided to not only ignore Lai but actually deliver her to the villains and allow her to die, that’s going another step into the extreme. I really thought he was going to go back and save her so I was surprised. He’s a reasonably hype villain, but I feel like the film forgot that he was a villain at times. I’m sure now he’ll be a more heroic character for the sequel but I definitely wouldn’t trust him.

Finally you have Lai whose story is shrouded in mystery for most of the film. She doesn’t seem to trust people all that much based on how she was lying to Frank even towards the end. She manipulates people to get to the goal which is effective but by hiding some parts from Frank she did put the heroes in a pretty bad spot. If she had told a better story then things would have gone over a whole lot better. She’s not bad though because I do appreciate the fact that Lai is a pro-active character. She contributes quite a lot when finding out about the villains and also knows how to use a gun. The scenes with her and Frank are still too fast, but ignoring that they made for a good team here.

She’s not written all that realistically at times though. The scene that really comes to mind is when she is first let into Frank’s house and he goes to sleep for a while. Not only is he being way too trusting here because she can just murder him, but she seems to feel no fear either as she breaks into his boxes and spills everything while looking through his past. Fortunately Frank is an extremely heavy sleeper, but it seems like all of this was an excuse to find out more about his past but it didn’t make any sense from a narrative point of view. They have no reason to trust each other just yet. As far as Lai knows Frank was trying to deliver her to the villains and murder her a short time ago and from Frank’s point of view Lai may want revenge so why leave her alone in the kitchen with all of his knives that he proudly showed off while he goes to sleep? The film seems to go on auto pilot with the logic once in a while.

Overall, Transporter has a pretty quick pace throughout so it’s engaging from start to finish. There’s always a fight scene happening or some good chase scene. Surprisingly we don’t get to see Frank doing a whole lot of actual transporting though which I thought was ironic. After the opening scene and the delivery of Lai, Frank does no more transporting. The title can be a bit misleading in that respect but the movie did a good job of introducing us to all of the characters in the meantime. We do learn a lot about Frank even in these brief moments. There are definitely moments where you have to suspend some disbelief or where the writing is a bit weak but on the whole this is a solid film and one that I would recommend.

Overall 7/10

The Magnificent Seven (2016) Review

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It’s time to delve into the world of the Wild West once more. While the film is definitely way better than how the first series ended it doesn’t even come close to matching the original. On the whole it’s not a bad movie as most of the scenes are fairly sound but there’s a very questionable scene near the middle and the ending also falls flat with a very sudden backstory. This film tries really hard but just isn’t able to capture what made the original so fun.

The movie starts Bartholomew taking over a town and deciding that he will get rich this way. The townspeople don’t end up fighting even though they all have guns until it is far too late and they have absolutely no chance of victory. It’s always interesting to see this go down when everyone is armed because then there is seriously no excuse not to at least do something. Ah well. Emma then decides to find some gunmen so they can avenge her husband and save the town. She runs into Sam and he agrees to help after rounding up a posse. It ends up being 7 people total and they prepare to deal out some justice.

One thing the film does do right this time around is give time to introduce all of the characters. They all get a few scenes to make us aware of who they are and their personalities. Unfortunately I wouldn’t say that they are all very likable. First off, the main character isn’t bad. Sam is a reasonable main character who does his best to keep a level head as they approach the villains. He really only panics at the end when the film decides to get gritty for no reason with his motives for why he took the mission in the first place.

Then you’ve got Joshua who definitely has the most fun out of the characters. He actually enjoys being a gunman and is always messing around with everyone. He also seems to be the most skilled fighter of the group if you ask me. I’d have liked him to have been the main character because he was easily the most enjoyable to have on screen. Then you have Goodnight who is traumatized and can’t fight very well. I wasn’t particularly a big fan of this guy. He isn’t nearly as bad as the character he was based off of in the older films but that doesn’t mean a whole lot.

His partner Billy was a lot better. That guy had real skills both with a knife and with a gun. He was one of the most talented fighters in the film and you could always count on him to take down his opponent. Then you have Jack who is the worst member. He seems pretty crazy from the start and the guy doesn’t even use a gun much. I struggle to see why he was included in the film and if anything he just waters the group down by association. There’s nothing exceptional or magnificent about him in the slightest. It almost takes you out of the film when he is taking people down with an axe while they have guns. That doesn’t make any kind of sense.

Vasquez’s initial scene immediately makes him pretty unlikable here. The guy’s motives certainly aren’t the best. He has skills but that doesn’t automatically make him a quality character in the slightest. Finally you have Red Harvest whose opening scene throws him out of the picture immediately. We see him destroy an animal and then eat it which is such a pointless an unnecessary scene to have in the film. I was shaking my head the whole time. We really didn’t need this and in a way it delivered one of the final blows to the film. It was hard to come back from that.

The writing in general can’t keep up with the originals. There is a lot of friction between the characters but rather than it be because they all have big egos and a lot of confidence it’s more because they’re all portrayed as jerks. They tend to make insensitive comments to each other and flat out bully each other in other scenes. The scene of Joshua stealing the guy’s whiskey comes to mind. Then you have the fact that these 7 characters aren’t as great as they act. The main villain does a good job of taking them down for a while and they miss the shots that count. Joshua gets a great ending but most of the gunmen go down pretty easily otherwise.

Emma was a good heroine though and I was glad that she was able to fire off a gun. It’s always good to see people helping out at least a little because it’s your town so you should be defending it. If you just stand around then you’re not helping anyone except the villains for slowing things down. She should have been the one to get the original hero theme but it doesn’t really appear here. There is one scene where I feel like it was meant to be a bit of a homage but the music is very soft and it’s hard to say for sure. Either way I wouldn’t say it’s handled all that well. The main villain is given a reasonable role though. Bartholomew was pretty solid so I have no qualms with him.

The movie has a lot of little tributes to the various past films so that’s nice for fans I suppose. Since I watched them all recently it was a lot easier to pick up on them. Homages are nice to see but they don’t help to hide the flaws of this one. I’ve already talked about those so for a positive I’d say that the gun fights are pretty solid. There’s not a whole lot you can do with a gun fight after a while but they’re still pretty entertaining so the movie did a good job with those.

Overall, The Magnificent Seven remake is not a film that I would particularly recommend. It makes enough mistakes where I just can’t put it in the higher ranks. There’s no reason to watch this one over the original. It could have been worse for sure I guess so it’s not a terrible movie either. If you want to watch a modern wild west then this is probably better than a lot of the alternatives I suppose.

Overall 5/10

Battle at Big Rock Review

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It’s time to look at a very quick live action movie that came out a while back. It’s always nice to see franchises push out a little something like this to expand the universe. It gives you something to look at while waiting another 4-5 years for the next big film after all. The plot is pretty self explanatory. A family is enjoying a nice BBQ when a few dinosaurs show up and start to fight. The main characters have to try and be really quiet but the baby is constantly crying so it won’t be easy. Can the humans escape with their lives intact or are they doomed here?

I do have a question on this though. The heroes clearly know about the dinosaurs from how nonchalantly they talk about seeing one and they reference the radio as well. This takes place after the last film so dinosaurs are everywhere. Why would you possibly have a BBQ outside during such a time? The main guy mentions that bears are around so they get the food in pretty quick but you should be more afraid of the dinosaurs. His wife mentions that the dinosaurs aren’t supposed to be this close yet but I don’t think you should be taking any chances.

There aren’t a lot of safe spots elsewhere either though. The film gives us a lot of meanwhile scenes where we see Dinosaurs around every corner sizing people up and destroying the food chain. The film fortunately handles this as well as possible with no explicit animal deaths. They all die but it doesn’t get gritty or graphic. Even the main dinosaur battle is interrupted before either of them can get seriously hurt which is good. It still does hold this back from being a higher score but it doesn’t make it bad either.

There isn’t enough time for the film to really go all that up or down. It just goes by in a flash and reviewing something this short is also pretty tricky for those same reasons. As far as I’m concerned it’s basically middle of the road. It has enough going for it where it’s not bad but there’s not enough here for me to give it a pretty good score or anything. The dinosaurs look great and this could be a scene in a real theatrical film. That’s definitely for sure.

Overall, if you’re a big fan or Jurassic Park or just want to see some dinosaurs in action then you should enjoy this. It’s only about 8-10 minutes so you’ll be done with it very quickly. It doesn’t take much time to watch and it’s solid enough where you should check it out. The humans aren’t too annoying either although I didn’t like the kids or the baby but it’s hard to develop them into likable characters in such a short time span. This special does show why a whole film about surviving in the age of dinosaurs will be pretty interesting. It’s a very dangerous premise so it’ll be hard for a whole film to get out unscathed but it’s worth the attempt.

Overall 5/10