Monthly Archives: October 2015

Insidious Chapter 2 Review

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Looks like it’s time for the sequel! Sequels have a pretty bad rep at times and especially when it comes to Horror films. I’ll admit that I do have a little fun chuckling at the posters for them though. The films constantly want you to be scared, but it’s just not happening. If you’re scared of an old guy who runs around a lot….then I may as well say Game Over now because things will get tricky!

In the last film, it ended with Josh being possessed by the main villain and the main heroine is worried. She certainly has good reason to be since none of them are safe anymore. The film slowly starts to go the Shining route until we see the Spirit World where Josh decides to try and get his freedom back. It’s a bold move, but he’s got to try something since the ghosts really embarrassed him this whole time.

Let’s get right to the facts for why this film was so terrible. First off, the villain from the first film wasn’t that cool, but at least she was fairly threatening. She actually won in the end when you think about it as she got to possess the father. Here, the film decides to give her an origin and it’s as bad you can imagine. Turns out that the old widow is actually a guy who liked to destroy people in his spare time. This is why we don’t need character development for villains. It’s usually just around for pure shock value and ends up being pretty terrible. It destroyed any chance that the villain could have had of being good.

Moreover, the film actually copied the Shining’s famous scene where the crazy guy tries to break through the door. It wasn’t really a good scene the first time, nor was it here. The demon being stronger than the dad still doesn’t make any sense either as the film constantly tries to say that the living have more power than the dead. It’s like the writers forgot what they were saying midway through the film.

There’s a subplot where the ghostbusters decide to go to an old hospital where they see the victims and learn that Josh is being possessed. It’s a plot that goes on and on and on with no end in sight. Certainly a large part of the film that will leave you a little bored, although that’s not so different from the rest of the film. These characters fight against Josh at one point towards the end of the film, but they don’t look so good and are defeated right away. So much for that right?

As per usual, one of the kids is able to see things and has power in the spirit world. This was the case in the first film as well so it’s nothing new, but it feels like every horror film has to cram in a kid with super powers. I still can’t say that I’m a fan of the kids, but I’m not a fan of any member of the cast to be honest. Even the wise old lady isn’t that good. She talks tough, but was defeated with relative ease in the last film and get shocked a lot.

The stinger at the end of the film is nowhere near as good as the one in the first film. According to good ole Wikipedia, it does hint that the red faced demon from the first film may have made a comeback. That would make the cliffhanger a lot better, but without actually seeing the monster, it comes across as shallow. There are a ton of jump scares here, but as I always say, once you’ve seen Five Nights at Freddy’s, you become immune to those. Nothing can stop the dramatic teddy bear jumping towards you after all!

The film is also bogged down by a plethora of flashbacks. Granted, they are used to tie into the rest of the film as time travel is involved which is neat. It’s the only part of the film that I’ll give any credit as it was pretty unique and unexpected. That being said, it just can’t make up for everything else, even if the timeline for everything was finally merged by the end. Josh also looked quite bad at the end. During his rage moment with everything on the line, he was still crushed rather quickly by one of the ghosts. So much for surpassing the odds and beating the villain in the end right?

Take away the terrible plot twist about the villain and the classic Josh being possessed subplot…and you could have a real winner at your side. That being said, the film didn’t do that and it was just tough to watch as you may expect from a horror film. It’s certainly not nearly as violent as you may expect from this film so that’s an okay start I suppose. If you want to be scared though, it’s not going to happen here.

Overall, Insidious 2 is another stinker I’m afraid. If you’ve seen one horror film, then you’ve seen them all. This starts to become more and more evident as these reviews go on. It’s not quite as bad as some others and I have one horror film coming up which is worse, but films like this one definitely give sequels a bad name. Let’s just hope that the third film is better. If Insidious sticks to the Spirit World aspect and gives us some more fight scenes, then I can work with that. We just don’t want more of the filler/lol worthy origin stories that wreck established characters. Deciding to erase Josh’s memory of his gift was another bad decision by the old lady who was supposed to be an expert in this kind of thing. So much for that eh? If you’re looking for a real horror film, go watch Scooby Doo, any of the animated films will do. Now that has the perfect blend of horror and laughs! (Intentional laughs as opposed to the unintentional ones)

Overall 1/10

The Fog (2005) Review

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Our trip through horror land continues with The Fog! As you recall, I saw the original The Fog quite a while ago. I can’t say that it was a very pleasant experience and this one isn’t either. I dare say that it’s worse than the original and suffers from some problems that the first did not. That’s never a good thing, but it is to be expected. While it’s not the biggest trainwreck out there, The Fog doesn’t do modern horror films any favors.

An island is about to celebrate the anniversary of when it was founded by their heroes. The thing is, their “heroes” are actually traitors who backstabbed the poor people who used to be on the island and then threw them all overboard while also burning them alive. These ghosts didn’t like that….they didn’t like that at all! To have their vengeance, they’re going to destroy every last person on the island. It’s going to be a busy weekend for them…so time to get started!

Unlike the original film, the radiohost isn’t really the main character. She’s around, but instead the main guy is a man from the village. He’s driving around when a girl shows up in the forest and they decide to become more than friends on the spot. Once they’re done, she tries to head home, but isn’t welcome there so she goes home with the main character. We’re attacked with more fanservice scenes and forced romances that are as shallow as you can get in a film before the ghosts start to attack with more force. The body count begins to rise and we learn that the drunk pastor actually knew about the whole situation from the start. He just doesn’t care enough to actually try and save everybody.

As you might expect, there are no likable characters here. The ghosts have a few decent points and while it doesn’t excuse murder, the heroes aren’t making a very good case for themselves. They’re just standing around and allowing themselves to get wrecked. Spooner, a random guy who gets into the this situation, is framed for destroying two girls and his friend so he quickly escapes the hospital to find the main character. How he got past the guards we’ll never know.

All of the main characters meet up inside of the burning house like in the first film, but then they realize that it wasn’t their best move. The climax takes a strange turn that’s pretty terrible though as we learn that Elizabeth, the main female lead, was actually the wife of one of the pirates. So, we get another forced romance with the ghost and as they vanish, we try to recall what the point of the film was. I would have preferred a classic stinger like in the original film. That was surprisingly absent in this version.

It almost goes without saying that the film can be pretty violent. It’s not quite as excessive as other horror films, but when you just look at it in a vaccum, it’s still up there in terms of violence levels. The gimmick of the pirates is that they always aim for the eyes, which can be pretty gruesome. Meanwhile, I also didn’t care for the fact that the old aunt had to bite the big one again. I feel like old people should be considered out of bounds for the villains in these slasher/horror films. It’s not nearly as bad as getting a dog, but still pretty bad.

Nick is also a very underwhelming main character. Forced romances and desperation aside, he’s not very smart. He had actual evidence that Spooner did not commit the murders, but decided to hide it instead of giving it to the cops. Naturally, the ghosts used this chance to track Elizabeth down and take it from her. Nick basically cost Spooner his freedom at the time and he never looked back.

I wouldn’t even say that the ghosts look all that menacing. Old pirates with fishhooks? We can do better than that. At least they are pretty fast thanks to their mist and they did succeed in taking out the weather man. Even the kid barely managed to escape from the power of these ghosts. The fog is just too thick and too intense.

Keep in mind that as a remake, this “The Fog” also feels like an abridged version of the original. Many plot lines were basically cut out to make way for some more action scenes or just generic tension moments. The ghosts have the same motive as in the original, but instead of a life for a life, they just want to murder everyone. Having a reincarnated ghost living a fake life before realizing her true purpose also came at the expense of the majority of the story. I’m also not sure why the film felt the need to wreck the Pastor. He was a great character in the original and one of the only sensible ones around, but in this film he’s just a drunk who couldn’t care less if they all went and died against these pirates. Talk about dramatic right? The heroes can never get a straight answer out of him.

Almost forgot one last thing, the old man by the beach! He found some artifacts and warned Elizabeth that if she touched it…things would change. She ignored him and snatched it, rather quickly, from his hands. After laughing it off with Nick, she went home, but things started to change. It’s fun to think about whether the old man was off his rocker or if touching the object started a chain reaction. You know…when I actually think about this film. I’m inclined to say that the old guy was just crazy and another red herring for the fans, but adding a little misdirection is always a good thing I’d say.

Overall, The Fog isn’t a very good film and is in fact..a bad film. It’s not as good as the original and suffers from the main issues that you tend to expect from a remake. There’s more fanservice and the characters are less developed. The film moves at a very high speed, but this isn’t a totally good thing when you think about it and speed can’t save the rest of the film. There’s no real reason to watch The Fog, but if you want a generic horror film where everyone is bumped off one at a time. Maybe this will be up your alley, just remember that it’s not exactly a scripting masterpiece so prepare to wince. If Aunt Connie had lived and taken out her shotgun, things could have been a little different….I doubt it would have helped all that much though. If the film really wanted to be good, then taking away the fanservice scenes and forced romance plots would have done it wonders and maybe bumped it up a full 2 stars.

Overall 1/10

The Uchiha Sasuke Sharingan Chronicles

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I’m afraid that this looks like it’s going to be about as bad as the Rock Lee series. Hopefully it won’t be quite that bad, but this feels like it could get very ugly, very quickly! I shall review the series when it finishes someday.

Overall 2/10

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer Review

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Disclaimer: This review is of the edited TV-14 version. All thoughts pertain to such and an uncut review would likely be harsher
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Do any of you guys remember what you did 2 summers ago? I was relaxing at Florida enjoying a nice breakfast before having pizza for dinner. Well, the main character of this film had a more distressing experience as she tried to cover up a murder, but it didn’t go over so well. All of her friends were destroyed except for one so she has tried to forget this experience. That takes us to the sequel. How is she alive? After all, Julie was murdered in the first film. Well…turns out that was a dream. She effectively gets a second chance to try and win.

Julie has settled in nicely away from her old home. She is now going out with the friend from the first film (Who is nothing like his old personality, but a slight character reboot is nothing out of the ordinary for this film) and has a new best friend as well. One day, her friend suddenly wins a contest to go to the Caribbean and decides to take Julie, her boyfriend, and a guy who wants to be Julie’s friend. The four of them head out to this isolated island even though Julie knows that Ben Willis has returned. Surely he can’t follow them across the ocean right? She was wrong!

This film plays out like your average slasher. Every character starts to get picked off one by one. The main villain may essentially just be your average guy with a fishhook, but he’s fast and isn’t afraid of picking fights. He takes out one guy who was in a car and nearly takes out good ole Ray. (The friend from the older film) Every night he takes someone else out and the body count is quite high here. It’s to be expected as this film is an actual slasher. I use the term loosely so it’s nice to see a film where I can actually call it that without stretching the term. Naturally, this also means that the film is quite terrible.

It’s not quite as bad as the Shining…or even the Conjuring. This is the kind of film that can still be a little funny, but mainly because you will be chuckling at what a trainwreck it is. Seriously, nothing goes right for this film. Are you familiar with the term, “an accident waiting to happen”? Let’s just say that you could sum up the movie quickly with that line. It’s the definition of unlikable characters throughout the film. Let’s take a look at the negatives.

First, we’ll look at the filler ones. The guy in charge of the hotel is racist. This is relevant to the film because….? It adds that racial tension angle to the film I suppose, but it’s just there for extra edge. One of the few guys left in the hotel is a drug dealer who’s always talking about his drugs and trying to sell them. Naturally, everyone ignores him, but he’s another character who has no point in being here. As you may expect, both of these characters are quickly destroyed.

Next up, we’ve got the “hardcore” bartender. She murdered her husband so we naturally have to label her as a suspect…except for the fact that we already know the villain is Ben Willis. She talks a good game and helps out ever so slightly I suppose….but she’s just not a good character. She does whack one of the main characters on the head with a baseball bat, but then forgets how to fight when the villain comes after her. If a dead, overweight guy falls on you in a life or death situation, do you think you could roll him off of you? You have about 30 seconds to do this, which may not sound like a lot, but count to 30 and come back to me. It’s plenty of time to do this, but she is unable to…..okay then.

There’s a deck hand who quickly starts flirting (Or at least it came off that way to me) to show that he is expendable and a rope ties around his leg. It’s one of those nifty supernatural elements that the film loves before the fishhook guy appears to finish him off. Karla is Julie’s best friend and the only one who actually gets character development. She doesn’t seem as expendable, but just remember that this is a slasher film. Karla would be a good character if she didn’t have a habit of moving around in the dead of night to scare her friend. She tries to be a nice person though so she’s better than 99% of the cast.

Tyrell is her boyfriend and he brings us back to facepalm territory. He basically just thinks about making out for the entire film and it represents 90% of his lines. He even jokes about how nobody could hear Karla in this isolated island so he can do what he wants. It’s certainly in bad taste and shows what a terrible character he is. He talks very tough of course, but goes down incredibly fast. We’ve also got Ray, the old guy from the first film. His idea of a nice trick is to tell his girlfriend that he probably can’t go on the big trip with her. Gee, it’s not like she needs prior notice so that the ticket isn’t wasted right? He comes up big to help in the end, but still manages to underestimate his opponents and he froze up when he grabbed the gun. This is the time for action, not inaction!

There’s also Will, who’s another terrible character. He pretends to just want to be friends with Julie, but it’s obvious that this isn’t the case right from the start so he comes across as a big phony. He starts to crack by the end and it’s safe to say that he’s one of the worst characters in the film. There’s also Estes, who’s another red herring to keep everyone busy. He seems to believe in some very satanic stuff and steals possessions from the main characters. Turns out he was trying to fight fire with fire, but fails epicly and doesn’t really stand a chance. He did try to take a win via a cheap shot and I don’t know how he could have possibly lost at that point. He must have choked under pressure.

Finally, we can’t forget about Julie and Ben. Julie is super saddened by the experiences of the first film, but this doesn’t stop her from trying to get a tan in an enclosed device where she will be vulnerable. She makes terrible decisions throughout the film just like you would expect from a horror film. Julie constantly yells about how she will destroy Ben, but typically just runs away when he actually shows up. I do like how the villains tell the heroes “You wouldn’t have the nerve to destroy us!” Do they realize that they are talking to the edgy teenagers who would shoot them without a second thought? I somehow don’t think so.

There’s a twist near the end, which helps out the film’s credibility quite a bit in terms of realism. It’s still a film riddles with plot hax and nobody would ever buy this happening in real life, but as far as slasher films go, the twist did help things. This film also has a twist ending as the end. Given what happened last time, you can call this a dream, but I like to think that this really happened. If so, I’m afraid that the main characters could be doomed once again.

I personally found the film’s pacing to be quite quick here, more so than in the first film. The film goes by quickly, which is more than I can say for the average horror film. It wasn’t really a chore to watch even if it is not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. It’s actually a terrible film, it’s just funny because it’s so bad. Aside from all of the terrible characters, the film also suffers from other issues like excessive violence and fanservice. We have the unnecessary shower scenes which are just not cool and everyone gets stabbed in various ways to remind us of why this film is edgy. The characters are making out a lot and there are many suggestive comments woven throughout the script. Language is another issue.

If you can think of a negative for a film, this one’s likely got it. It fits the Slasher formula to a T. It has every stereotype that you could possibly want to avoid and then some. The villain is just a supernatural human, but the characters are always so afraid that they run away. Ben walks up slowly each time and still manages to take them out. Even 6 bullets aren’t enough to stop this guy. It definitely makes you wonder. I’d say that the first film was probably better than this one, but this film may have felt like more of a parody. I’d also say that this film may have been less violent, but mileage will vary on that as they are pretty similar.

Overall, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is another slasher film that doesn’t know when it’s time to call it a day. The soundtrack also isn’t very good to put it mildly. This is the kind of film that you can watch as a group and find many things to make fun of. You could certainly think of some (soda) drinking games on the spot to make the experience better. The whole film’s plot falls apart when you realize that a hotel with 5 employees during their “off season” likely wouldn’t allow any guests to stay on the premise. That being said, while it can be a little funny to watch a film because it’s a trainwreck, why do that when you can watch a film that’s actually good? Think on that and then remember that Ben Willis isn’t so tough….

Overall 1/10

Poltergeist (2015) Review

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It’s time to take a look at the remake of the original Poltergeist film. I actually saw this film a while back, but the review has been rotting in my backlog for some time now. Surprisingly, I thought that the film was fairly decent and by all accounts…it is actually better than the original film. I know that critics wouldn’t agree and by all accounts…I’m talking about mine. This film doesn’t take itself quite as seriously as the original nor does it feel nearly as long and I almost consider it to be an abridged version. For some reason, I get that vibe from most horror films like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and the latest The Fog. They all just go by so quickly that the villains barely even have time to hype themselves up a little.

A family moves into a new house…and weird things begin to happen. It’s sort of like Five Nights at Freddy’s if you ignore the plot of both items and just focus on the scary jump moments. The family must try to resist the ghosts, but the daughter is taken to the spirit world which certainly complicates matters. The family calls in a version of the Ghost Busters, but even that may not be enough to save them from imminent destruction and complete obliteration.

This film is a lot newer than the original so the effects are certainly more polished even if that means that they may not be as “scary” (Still don’t believe that films can actually be scary) There’s no family dog here, which was a big relief and the film is also toned down from the original. One guy’s face doesn’t start to peel off, which is a welcome improvement. There’s still a maggots/roach scene, which is pretty gross and unnecessary, but it could have been worse. As this is a horror film, the characters make as many mistakes as possible to fill their quotas. One guy nearly gets rammed through with a screwdriver/jackhammer but decides not to tell anyone about this. They couldn’t have done anything about it, but sharing is caring right?

When it’s not cutting out scenes from the original, this film follows the old plot very closely. As a result, you will know everything that is about to happen before it happens. It’s why such literal remakes are risky since it’s hard to scare anyone when they know what to expect. Honestly, I’m not sure what the film’s gameplan was for this since they didn’t seem to even try and escape from this issue. The film played it close to the cuff and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it also limited the movie’s opportunities.

Honestly, I’d say that the film was a little on the generic side although it was certainly more tasteful than the average Horror film. I didn’t mind the film all that much while watching it. It could even be fun at times like when the dad brought home pizza and chicken for dinner. The kids were rather ungrateful though and the situation got dicey, but it was neat. Adding in the rebellious teenage daughter was a little much though and one of those modern effects that makes you back up a little. The parents got to go to a fancy party and we actually saw it this time so that was neat I suppose.

It’s actually hard to find enough things to say about this movie to fill in the review. It’s the kind of flick that you will essentially forget after a little while because it furfills the cliches of horror 101, but doesn’t try to make a name for itself. Knowing horror films, this is probably a good thing though. Poltergeist actually ends up being the most positively received horror film by this blog in quite a while so it certainly did something right.

The actions scene where the heroes try to rescue the daughter from the portal using the rope is still classic. I felt like that plot was handled better than in the original. The clown was a lot weaker here though, but I can live with that since a toy clown should be no match right from the get go. As mentioned earlier, the film’s pacing is a lot quicker and I’d say that this is a good thing. The film doesn’t need to bother trying to develop the characters since they’re mainly here to be scared anyway. Just give them some basic personality and you should be all set for some action. The characters were actually pretty reasonable considering the genre and while the kids were annoying…how could they not be? I’d still take them over the kids in The Shining and Insidious any day of the week. I do like how casually people around the block take the whole house blowing up thing. This should have been filmed in New York, you really wouldn’t get a reaction from those tough blokes. They’ve seen it all and aren’t afraid to remind you of that from time to time. There’s a reason why New York City is known as the greatest place on the planet after all!

Now, I wonder if this film will get remade again someday. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised, but it’s a film that should be left alone for a little while. Then the writers can think about how they should improve it some more. This remake added to stars to the score so if they keep up at this pace, the series will be doing quite well! The next remake should be a little different though so surprise the audience a little.

Overall, Poltergeist is a decent horror film for what it’s worth, but that’s still not saying a whole lot. I couldn’t really recommend the film because I don’t know why you would be seeing it. If you want something that’s more intense, but less tasteful, then you’ve got the original film. If you want to watch something new and fancy, why are you in the horror genre? Poltergeist just doesn’t do anything within the genre and just becomes another horror film to be forgotten on the shelf. At least it had the nice portal effects though, I always like those.

Overall 4/10

The Shining Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version. The film couldn’t get much lower than a 0 anyway, but keep in mind that this review and all thoughts within it pertain to this specific version.
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I think Stephen A. Smith put it best in one of his videos while talking about Tim Tebow. I disagreed with him there, but the words fit this movie perfectly. Paraphrasing a little here. “Let’s just be straight about this. It was abysmal, It was embarrassing, It was pathetic in every sense of the word”….etc. I think that sets the tone for this review quite well. There are few films that I’ve seen which are as bad as the Shining and hopefully that list will stay small as this film was just completely terrible. On my reviews even when I can’t stand something I typically keep it mild. The quote was a loophole as I don’t use the words pathetic, trash, or other strong adjectives to keep my reviews more mild…but think of a word and it would fit in here. Still, I’ll try to attack it in a mild way while reminding you why this is a film to stay away from….come at me!

The film starts out with a psychotic mad man being accepted for the job of staying in the school throughout the winter to make sure that everything is working perfectly. The writers forgot about the concept of spoilers so the principal decides to layout exactly what is going to happen for the rest of the film within the first 3 minutes. The last people who took the job where a family just like the main one and the father went crazy and destroyed everyone. He lets the new guy know so that fate can repeat itself. Then he dashes off after the group tour and Jack decides to follow this example and tries to destroy everyone. He wanders off into a forest and we remember why nobody goes into mazes without an escape route anymore.

With the whole film spoiled in the opening minutes, that’s the cue for the audience to start looking at the clock to wonder when this will all be over. The film is very pretentious in the sense that it is constantly trying to be scary and fails miserably at every turn. At least Five Nights at Freddy’s is almost a parody with its constant jump scares so you can admire the effort. This film will have Jack stare at the screen menacingly for minutes at a time and call it a day. Remember the old saying, even the best of scenes can be watered down if you stretch it out long enough. This film reuses the same tired gimmicks over and over again.

Keep in mind, since I thought this film was terrible, everything will seem even worse than usual. The instant you know that you dislike the film that you are seeing and you watch it make error after error, you become disconnected from it and then everything is even more fake. The characters are all really unlikable and the big scene where Jack tries to break through the door is one that we’ve all seen dozens of times before during the famous console wars of PS4 vs Xbox One. The sony fans used is constantly to show why their side was superior and the famous picture is almost a parody at this point as well.

The film tries to hint that there are ghosts involved, but I don’t buy this for a nanosecond. See, Jack is simply delusional and he wants to believe that there are ghosts. He just busted through the door on his own after imagining the lock picking sounds. The painting at the end? Another delusion of grandeur and just the film taking another shot at some sequel bait, but not realizing that the bait has to actually be edible for the fish to bite. Since the film is one big negative…let’s take a look at exactly why it blew up.

Animal violence…nooooooooooo. Well, actually, there isn’t any real animal violence to speak of. That just speaks to how bad the rest of the film was. First off, the film actually engages in the fanservice trap to the fullest extent as actual nudity is present in the original version, but luckily censored in the edited one. It’s still a very drawn out scene that adds nothing to the plot and it just abysmal so you’ll want to take the time to quickly watch something on Youtube or go grab some dinner. That’s strike 20 by that point, but let’s keep going.

Again, the characters are all unlikable. There’s no sympathy here. The wife should have left a long time ago after we find out Jack’s past and Jack was always a villain so nobody should even pretend that he is a good guy. The plot is already hard to watch because none of the characters are making the right moves. There’s even a Chef who is supposed to be likable, but loses any chance at being a good character once we see the sketchy paintings he has in his room. Then he also proved to be a very unintelligent character as he walks up…slowly? to the big mansion without a plan. Yes, that sentence isn’t grammatically correct, but it’s a meme to bear with me here.

There aren’t really any other characters as the cast is painfully small and doesn’t do the film any favors. Conveniently, the cops are too far away to come and help even though they should have suspected something when there was no response on the intercom. Maybe they should go up and investigate? Nah…it’s just the snow. Everyone contributes to the film’s issues and a problem is that Jack gets way too much screentime even after we know that he’s crazy. It just doesn’t make any sense if you ask me. Why do we need to watch his long delusional dreams about being in a bar and showing us what a terrible person he is? The film has way too much padding and it hurts the movie although it wasn’t going to be much good anyway.

The atmosphere for the film also makes it a drag as well. Instead of being scary, the film ends up being dull and a waste of time. It has tense music for just about every scene to the point where it’s like having a ton of consecutive jump scenes over and over again. The film is really trying to scare you in every single scene and that’s why it ends up failing. You simply can’t try to overdo a gimmick like that and hope for it to actually work. It’s the classic rule that all “horror” films must follow.

Overall, The Shining is a truly terrible film and it just goes to show that some legendary movies really haven’t aged well and probably couldn’t start well. The Shining is touted as a great horror film and one of the scarier ones, but it lacks any edge and the drawn out scenes are more liable to make you sleepy and hungry as opposed to scared. It’s hard to even know where to begin on how to improve this film to be honest. Plots about the father being evil and abusive are always doomed to fail as the actual story is founded on a terrible premise. Kids can’t hold their own film and this film tried to pull that off a lot to no success. The mother is just too weak willed for the story and puts up with things when she should leave. The film’s problems are numerous and rather than trying to correct them, the Shining is a film that’s best left on the shelf collecting dust. I’d sooner rewatch the Conjuring film. Still, if you need to think up the ultimate punishment for an intense money match in Smash Bros, having someone watch this film and Sucker Punch back to back would probably be the ticket. If you want to see a horror film, I’d sooner check out the original live action Scooby Doo film!

Overall 0/10

Dragon Ball Heroes Victory Mission

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It’s always good to see a new Dragon Ball title. The chapters are way too short if you ask me, but it’s a good series and hopefully it is able to keep on going for a while. The concept is sound and the characters aren’t bad. Still, it feels like a fan manga at the moment which is why we need longer chapters! I shall have a review for this series once it is finished.

Overall 6/10

Transformers Devastation Review

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It’s been a decent while since the last Transformers game although the gap wasn’t incredibly long or anything like that. Devastation got a lot of hype before it came out and I was certainly on board as well since my favorite iteration of the Transformers would be returning. The game lives up to the hype and then some with the only weakness being the game’s short length. Aw well, short games let me really feel the experience in a short burst so I can roll with that.

It starts out like a classic Transformers episode. The Decepticons are causing trouble so the Autobots storm the city to save everyone. The humans have already been evacuated so they don’t need to worry about that, but hundreds of insecticons have flooded the city and Megatron’s plans for conquest are not even close to being finished. He wants to terraform the planet…or cyberform in this case so that Cybertron can virtually live on Earth again. Prime and the other Autobots are a little hesitant to stop him because it may involve destroying the entire history of Cybertron (Kept on a device) but if it’s the only way…then they shall be ready!

Devastation is a very fast paced game. You’re thrown right into the action and are confronted with bosses and enemies at every turn. The game was done by Platinum and I mostly know them for their reputation through Bayonetta as one of the best game developers in the biz. I can certainly see why they are known as such a great company as the gameplay is tight and very exciting. The focus is more on hand to hand than in shooting down your enemies and while Transformers Prime attempted this first, Devastation does it best. You’re essentially in a 3D fighting game while playing. There are numerous combos that you can use with each character and the weapons system allows you to keep crafting bigger and better weapons. You can also level up your characters to really get an edge in the battles.

There’s even a counter/dodge system in place. Essentially, if you dodge right before an opponent attacks, time will slow down and then you can really hand out the pounding. The timing is surprisingly tricky and a nice test for your reflexes. The A.I. is also nice and strong on Normal so I can imagine that they are quite impressive on hard. To an extent, their ability to break any of your combos is a little OP and I did have to retry one or two bosses a few times as they could be OP at times, but the gameplay is really fun so you definitely won’t mind doing the battles again. The combat system is really good and it’s nice to see Platinum really give the game their all.

That’s why it is disappointing that there is no multiplayer mode here. If ever a game needed a multiplayer option other than Mario Maker, it’s this one. Granted, the gameplay may be a little too advanced and intense to incorporate a multiplayer…that’s the argument that I can envision people making. If we can do Super Smash Bros or Dead or Alive, I’m sure that this game could have pulled it off. It would have added some nice replay value and simply would have been a great feature to have at the ready.

The graphics are very good. The faces could be surprisingly cartoony at times as the villains will make all kinds of faces at you, but it’s all in good fun. G1 was a great series in part because of its great character development and action, but also for the camp factor. I also liked the cutscenes where the heroes got to fight, albeit briefly and seeing more of that would have been awesome. The visuals certainly hold up quite well and I dare say that the game looks better than the other Transformer titles. It’s close though since the War for Cybertron series does look quite good.

In terms of music, there’s never been a Transformers game that was more impressive. Just about every musical piece is a guitar strum or some kind of epic rock music. Your blood will be pumping through every fight and the game feels that much more epic. It’s like being in an episode and you can duke it out with all of the classic villains. There are 3-5 bosses per level and that means you will be in store for quite a lot of action. It’s why I recommend saving your signature skill for when they show up.

Due to getting the game through Gamestop, we got Nemesis Prime and the Dark Starsaber unlocked from the get go. I equipped it after the first 3 missions and the weapon is quite useful. The shockwaves that it sends out are huge and deal a considerable amount of damage. You don’t have to worry about it becoming pay to win as you can easily find comparable sword attack-wise within the game, but the visuals are what really makes the weapon a lot of fun to use. You can opt to mainly use guns, but close quarters combat definitely has the edge in this title.

This game would have been an easy 9, but the story mode’s short length is definitely something that needs to be mentioned. There are only 7 levels and while the first two are decently long, they get a lot shorter after that. I beat the game in around 3 hours and did have fun grabbing some collectibles so it’s certainly possible to complete it quicker than t hat. Sure, there is replay scattered throughout the game, but without a multiplayer option either, I feel like deducting a star is worth it. Especially for the current price. Drop it down to 20 and that will help your case.

As for what the replay value entails, there are a lot of collectibles throughout the levels. That will take you some time to grab them all. There’s also a Mission Mode with 50 missions to tackle and they were pretty fun from what I saw. You’ll mainly be replaying parts of the story mode there. Finally, you also want to get all of the trophies to obtain the Platinum. The trophies are fair and don’t seem too hard, just time consuming. In a sense, all Platinums should be this way as you should need dedication without trying a level 1000 times. It’s a fair compromise I’d say.

Don’t forget to stick around for the after credits scene. It sets up the sequel quite well and you can tell that the boss will make for an intense antagonist. I’d be very hyped for a sequel although it’ll hopefully have a multiplayer mode or be a little longer. I feel like Platinum was aiming to make this title feel like an Arcade Game with its dynamic action scenes and quick soundtrack. If this was an Arcade Game, then 3 hours wouldn’t be so bad. I definitely trust that they will continue to make the gameplay 5 star material in a sequel.

Overall, if you’re a big fan of the original Transformers anime, you’re going to love this title. If you like action games where you are constantly fighting, then this is also right up your alley. The game really handled the gameplay perfectly and did justice to the Transformers name. Few franchises can say that they’ve consistently had 8 star games over and over again, but Transformers manages to pull it off. The only game in the franchise that I didn’t care for all that much was Animated and it still wasn’t downright bad. If you picked this up, let me know what you thought of it.

Overall 8/10

A Certain Magical Index

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The Index manga is now upon us. To an extent, you can certainly tell that it’s a bit of a cash in. As long as we can get some good fights that should be fine so long as the manga keeps it real. It’s off to an okayish start and the horror esque moment to end the volume was nice. We already had a fire monster fight so that’s a good lead off. The next volume will see the debut of a pretty powerful fighter. So long as the series doesn’t fall to any big negatives, the manga will be a good action title. I’ll review it once the series is over.

Overall 6/10

Pokemon Shuffle Stats and Records

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Stats time!

Play Time 3h 50m
Stages Cleared 57
Pokemon Caught 36
Streetpass Tags 0

Stage Stats Rank Caught or not (Y/N

Stage 1 S Y
Stage 2 S Y
Stage 3 S Y
Stage 4 S Y
Stage 5 S Y
Stage 6 S N
Stage 7 S N
Stage 8 S Y
Stage 9 S Y
Stage 10 S N
Stage 11 A Y
Stage 12 S Y
Stage 13 S Y
Stage 14 S Y
Stage 15 S Y
Stage 16 S N
Stage 17 A N
Stage 18 S Y
Stage 19 S Y
Stage 20 S N
Stage 21 B N
Stage 22 S N
Stage 23 S N
Stage 24 S Y
Stage 25 S Y
Stage 26 S Y
Stage 27 A Y
Stage 28 S Y
Stage 29 S Y
Stage 30 S N
Stage 31 B N
Stage 32 S Y
Stage 33 B Y
Stage 34 S N
Stage 35 A Y
Stage 36 A Y
Stage 37 S Y
Stage 38 S Y
Stage 39 S Y
Stage 40 S Y
Stage 41 A N
Stage 42 S Y
Stage 43 S N
Stage 44 S N
Stage 45 S N
Stage 46 B Y
Stage 47 S Y
Stage 48 A Y
Stage 49 S N
Stage 50 A N
Stage 51 B N
Stage 52 S Y
Stage 53 B N
Stage 54 S Y
Stage 55 C N
Stage 56 S Y