Monthly Archives: January 2022

Magic Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Magic is a film where the main character is acting really shady from the start but nobody ever notices the red flags until it’s too late. As a result the characters are really in a jam here. The puppets always make for interesting characters but with this film it feels like this is all a hallucination which takes away a bit from the supernatural factor. You could make the case that the whole thing is in his head which isn’t nearly as fun.

The movie starts off with Corky messing up at another comedy show gig with his crude puppet Fats. His mentor Merlin just tells him to keep on trying and he will get it. Eventually Corky does become a star and he is super close to making it into the big leagues. Unfortunately in order to secure his TV gig he has to go through a medical checkup and since Corky knows that he is insane, he declines. His agent Ben wants to help Corky get past this but Corky runs off to a very remote area where he meets his old crush Peggy. He figures this place will be good to hide and maybe he can win over Peggy even though she is already married. Will his insanity prevent Corky from having a happy life?

Even if Corky wasn’t crazy I would still have to root against him though because Peggy is already married. I get that he likes her but once someone is married you really have to let them go. Nothing good will come from trying to go after someone who is already married. Corky’s just not a likable character though. Look at how quickly he blows up at his agent Ben despite the guy doing his best to try and get him on the show anyway. Ben even called in all of his lawyers and they did their best. Ben was the only one who really had Corky’s best interests at heart the entire time yet Corky just didn’t care.

Additionally, Corky wasn’t even nice to Peggy early on. When he messes up on one of his early tricks he starts threatening her and you almost think he was ready to murder her there if the trick didn’t go over well. Corky is really the main villain of the film and it’s always tricky when you have the lead as the villain since you can’t exactly root for him. This doesn’t end up working out here and the only way he may have even stood a slight chance is if Fats was definitely a separate entity. I wouldn’t say that the film really plays it out that way though so in the end you have to blame him for everything going on.

Even if Fats was a real character I wouldn’t have liked him much though. The guy is always being really crude which is really the extent of his character. He will always be making cracks to get some easy laughs which the characters always find funny. Fats is always egging Corky on but doesn’t help much. I suppose he does get one stab in near the end. He’s certainly no Chucky or Talking Tina in terms of the scare factor.

The best character by far was Ben here. I’ll give him major points for at least trying to help Corky out the whole time. He never turned his back on the guy and through to the end he was going to go and look for some help. You knew he was doomed in the film but the whole time you were hoping he would somehow pull off the escape and get out of there. Now that would have definitely been amazing. All things considered, the guy did put up a pretty good fight even though he was taken by surprise and in a weakened state.

As the main heroine I can’t say that Peggy was particularly good either. She should not have entertained Corky from the start and cheating is never the right move. Duke may not have been a great guy so in that case split up first but don’t start another affair in the meantime. I also didn’t think she picked up on a lot of the red flags like with Corky threatening her early on. You’d think that would have been a dealbreaker but it didn’t really seem to leave a big impact on her at all.

Finally you have Duke who is definitely a bad guy from the start. He acts all tough when it’s a fight that he can win but at no point in the film do you feel sympathetic to him at all. He’s just not a good person and any scene with him in it is another one where you are rooting for the guy’s scene to end already. The film certainly doesn’t have the strongest cast since I would say only one character here is good.

Naturally I wouldn’t say the writing is great either. The characters don’t tend to act very realistically as described above. The only scene where I would give some good props is the stare down with Corky and Ben where corky had to try and make it 5 minutes without talking. I thought that was handled really well at least. The scene did a good job of showing how Corky just couldn’t keep it together by this point and how serious the whole thing was.

Overall, Magic is a film you can safely skip. It sort of defeats the purpose of its own story by not having Fats actually move around and cause damage. Having Corky be insane instead isn’t nearly as interesting and of course it does mean that the lead is no fun to follow around. I would have preferred to have at least seen more of the comedy acts even if I didn’t find him to be all that funny. I do think comedy shows in general are tough since you have to try and make people laugh but how often are the audiences going to be super engaged? When you’re trying to be funny is often the hardest time to get people to laugh. Ironically a little more magic could have helped this film.

Overall 3/10

Silverado Review

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It’s time for a fun Wild West film and definitely one of the best ones in the genre. We get a cast of likable characters and there’s a good amount of action here. The film’s fairly long and so each character gets their own character arc journey. By the end of the adventure you will have had a good time. Whether you’re here for the solid writing or the fights, you’ll get what you’re looking for.

The film starts off with Emmett taking out a bunch of thugs and seeing that a man named Paden was almost down for the count. Emmett helps him out and then they collect Emmett’s brother Jake. They are saved by Mal after leaving a corrupt town and these 4 have something in common. They’re all going to Silverado. Whether they’re going for revenge, family, a job, they’re all going to the same place and this could pit friend against friend. Will these 4 be able to each complete their objectives or will they end up faltering?

As the characters are a big reason why this film is so good, lets dive into them right away. First off you have Emmett who is your classic wild west main character. He’s a great shot and has a lot of confidence as well. He’s smart on the uptake like when he tricks the sheriff into thinking that he won’t make a move so you have a very complete character here. He also didn’t hesitate in saving Paden as well which shows that he is a good person at heart too. That’s the kind of main character you can root for. I would also say he is probably the strongest fighter in the film which is why he had to be sidelined for a good chunk of the climax. It would not have gone too well for the villains otherwise.

Then you have who is probably the weakest of the 4 character-wise but in terms of skill he holds his own. He’s quick to fight back like at the bar when he wanted his hast so I can definitely respect that. I was less pleased with how he handles the situation once he has his job though. There’s some blackmail involved of course and a hostage which does stay his hand but one character gives Emmett some advice which I thought was rather obvious. Can’t have a hostage or blackmail if the person is no longer alive right?

I mean, in most films that’s not an option since heroes don’t murder and all but in the wild west that’s never a concern. All of these characters have murdered tons of opponents who got in their way and this villain’s as rough as they get. None of the main characters would lose much sleep if he’s gone. I thought it was a bit much that Paden didn’t come to this conclusion on his own and it’s just annoying seeing Paden just let his friends get beaten and interrogated without helping. It shows me that you can’t count on the guy which hurts him quite a bit.

Then you have Jake who is Emmett’s brother. He’s as confident as can be but isn’t quite as smart as Emmett and tends to get himself in trouble. Jake’s got a bad habit of messing around which is always getting people upset and not much you can really do once you’re arrested. Jake does have one good plan he uses near the beginning of the film though.

Finally you have Mal who has more of a quiet confidence about him. He’s not going around bragging like the others but is quite good at his gun skills. He saves the heroes at one point as well. His father is being bullied out of his land and so Mal has to put a stop to this and take care of the villains. His plot ends up being more of a revenge story due to how things play out and has the be the most serious plot of the bunch. Mal definitely does well in firing the others up for the big climax.

So we’ve got a lot of fun heroes here. I can’t say that I liked any of the villains but it would be really rare if I did. Wild West villains are usually guys you just want to be defeated pretty quick. McKendrick is the main villain here who basically rules the town with an iron fist. He’s rich so nobody dares to mess with him and all of the mobsters and crooks are in his pocket. His biggest mistake here is getting greedy and fighting off all these new characters. He should have just been content with what he had and maybe things would have ended better for him.

The writing here is on point and all of the characters are always reasonable. My only issue is when the villains show up and tell the hero to drop their gun…that should never work. Lets take one scene as an example. Mal is tricked by one of the townsfolk into heading into a trap. Mal arrives there where the villain walks out with a gun. Mal should have immediately taken him out there but instead he lets the guy talk as some more guys show up. At any of these points, fighting them off with a few quick shots seems like it would work and it’s only out of each once the villains have him surrounded.

If you’re in the wild west and the villains all have guns, there’s no way you should drop yours. At the very least you die on your feet while taking some of them with you. This is something I can’t help but notice in many films but it’s especially noticeable in wild west titles because of how everyone’s using guns all the time.

One reason this film beats a lot of the classic wild west titles is because the film focuses on the fun banter and good fight scenes the whole time. Usually the genre ends up making things rather gritty or just reminding you that it’s the wild west with animals being shot all around. This one really manages to avoid those things for the most part and it’s just fun.

It would have been nice to have really gotten to see the 4 characters fight each others but maybe it’s for the best that this didn’t happen because I would probably have been bashing the characters that sided with the villains. There’d just be no excuse for this and it’s why one of the heroes cut things really close there.

Overall, Silverado is a pretty solid film. It’s really got a good story here and quality characters. Seeing why everyone wants to get to Silverado is cool and it adds an extra element to the film. They’re all travelling together but what if one of them is more of a villain and the reason for getting to Silverado isn’t so great? Well, all the more reason to check this one out.

Overall 7/10

Angel has Fallen Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The first two films were fun and this one’s solid as well although I’d definitely say it isn’t quite as good as the first two. I always liked the idea of Mike Banning and the President fighting everyone off or the main guy having to go up against an army. This one ends up ditching a lot of that for a more personal film and it’s just hard to successfully lower the stakes like this. As a result it is the weakest of the first 3 films but is still a good title all around.

The movie starts off with Mike enjoying a routine fishing trip with Trumbull who has now become the President. Unfortunately that’s when the drones fly in and murder everyone except for Mike and the President. Unfortunately the President is now in a coma so he can’t vouch for Mike and there’s a lot of evidence around so it looks like Mike is the one who pulled this large scale robotic assault off. The FBI led by field agent Helen quickly agree that a frame up is completely out of the question and Mike Banning who has successfully saved the President’s life on two occasions and has defended America from two previous invasions must have turned evil for some quick cash. Mike realizes that these guys are completely delusional and escapes but how can he prove his innocence before he is taken down?

So this is the classic Fugitive storyline but I really think the FBI look bad in quickly putting Mike as the villain without a doubt. I mean, this is a textbook frame up job and the fact that they never even entertain this idea is sad. I do think the FBI looks awful here in general though. Later on when they’re finally given some evidence they decide to pay a visit to the guy who is assumed to possibly be the master mind of the villains. At the very least he is a big suspect so of course the two FBI agents show up without backup and are quickly gunned down. I mean, was there ever any other way this could have gone down? They did not think this one through at all and man did it make them look bad.

In general that can always be an annoying thing when the hero is framed. It’s not as bad as in titles like Naruto or Saint Seiya where it’s totally nutty since they know him personally but I would still expect Mike to be given more of a chance. He does well on the run though and his experience means that it is difficult to stop him. A lot of the film is really just him buying time to get away. Once the fight starts up then he’s easily able to get through the situation. The villains aren’t nearly as strong as in the first two films.

I do have some issues with how the U.S. looks here once again though. So once we have the President secured we take him to a hospital that is quite easily attacked by the villains? I feel like if the president was ever attacked in real life and we couldn’t safely transport him somewhere, the hospital is immediately going to be secure like Fort Knox. We’re bringing people in from everywhere and establishing a tight perimeter. No way we leave it this unguarded the whole time. It just makes absolutely no sense if you ask me. The villain forces don’t even look all that impressive compared to what we saw in the first two films.

The fights also aren’t as good as in the last two with a lot more jump cuts here. I guess what I’m getting at is that if you compare this film directly to the previous 2 then it loses in almost every single way. This film is best when you aren’t comparing it. If you look at it as a stand alone title then it’s still a good action film. We do have a lot of fights, Mike is a good character, and the movie has good writing. Those are all the solid fundamentals you need in order to be a good movie after all provided that you make no big mistakes.

The security seems lax in almost every scene but at least for the intro I can say that it would be pretty hard to stop drones that are all blowing up like this. I also think going fishing like that is super dangerous but in real life it’s hard to imagine hundreds of sci-fi looking drones coming out like this either. That part is a little hard to buy into even though we do have drones in real life. Firing them all off like that all of a sudden though? I don’t think it’s so easy.

Mike’s father gets to appear here but he’s really not all that great. I mean he’s a decent guy who helps out but the “Old guy who is a conspiracy nut against the government” character has been done so much better in other films. This guy doesn’t leave as much of an impact although I did like the scene where he sets off an explosion that creates a chain reaction for hundreds of other explosions. That was a fun scene. It could be a little over the top but I’ll let it slide since I can buy into it. If you have so much spare time why wouldn’t you continue making the trap more and more dangerous right?

Also, Mike is slightly nerfed in this film because he is just too old now. He suffers from headaches and can’t stay off the pain medication. So he isn’t in his prime like in the first two films but I would say that he’s barely lost a step. He can still fight as needed. As for Trumbull, he is a good President here and remains as a solid character but he doesn’t get to do much since he is unconscious for most of the film.

Overall, Angel Has Fallen is trying to take a different approach from the first two films which is always nice but the whole time you are waiting for things to heat up again. The climax is good and we do have some intense action scenes but it’s a lot more relaxed compared to the first two films. I’m hoping the next film goes back to normal with Mike having to take out whole armies.

Overall 6/10

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Looks like Halloween is back once more with another installment in the series. It hasn’t had any good films yet and I wasn’t expecting this one to change things. Halloween 5 is a very by the books slasher where Myers is just taking down anyone who gets in his way. The characters just can’t get away from him anymore and should really go as far away from town as possible when it’s Halloween. Too bad the residents of this town aren’t nicer though as nobody seems to take Myers seriously until it’s too late. The movie plays out exactly as you would expect it too so don’t expect anything different here. The tagline may make you think that the town’s going to fight back or something but that was in Halloween 4, not 5.

So the film starts off by changing the last film’s ending a bit. Myers actually ended up surviving and falls into the river where he ends up in a coma for a year before waking up and murdering the guy who found him. I have to assume that this guy was insane for keeping Michael Myers at his place for a year and not doing anything about it. From the creepy set up though I assume the guy was probably another villain though so it all evened out. Well, now that it’s Halloween time again, Myers wants to destroy Jamie once and for all. Can he pull it off or will the cops manage to stop him?

Jamie’s not in a great place either though. After the events of the last film she was traumatized so hard that she can’t really talk anymore. Additionally, she has a psychic link where she can feel everything that the victims feel before Myers takes them out for good. It’s probably the worst kind of psychic link you could ever have since that means it’s like Jamie is murdered multiple times here. I don’t think there was much of a point to this plot because the psychic link randomly ends later on. That’s probably for the best for Jamie’s sanity. Her plot of not being able to talk also ends when the writers are done with it.

Jamie ends up being a very annoying character throughout thanks to this though. She never helps with the investigation and almost seems to protect Myers at some points. I don’t understand her in this film and if she’s conflicted then the movie should have given us a reason for this. Even near the end she tries to have an emotional moment with Myers before he just goes crazy again. It’s a terrible film for her that’s for sure.

It’s no better for Loomis though. He’s even crazier than usual here as he uses Jamie as bait more than once. He’s still yelling about Myers but since he has failed so many times I can see why nobody takes him seriously. There’s a man in a black cloak who even follows him into a house and could have murdered the guy but doesn’t for some reason. The absolute worst scene for Loomis though is when he breaks down and tries to hug Myers as if this unrepentant serial killer zombie would suddenly have a human moment.

The movie has a ton of crazy scenes like this throughout but this one really stood out to me because of how absurd the whole thing was. Nobody should know better than Loomis how crazy this guy is. A hug was never going to be in the cards. As for Myers himself, well the guy is about the same as always. He mindlessly goes around destroying everyone who gets in his way. He’s not completely mindless as he comes up with some plans like impersonating one of the teenagers he murdered. It’s not a super realistic disguise but it works so I guess it paid off. There just isn’t anything to know about Myers, he may as well be a robot with how automatically he tackles every task.

It almost goes without saying that the film is incredibly violent here. Someone is getting murdered at all times and usually in very intense ways. Jamie having the psychic link means that she also takes a ton of damage in the film even if it isn’t bloody since it’s in her mind. Then the film has the teenagers do their one night stand real quick just to force that into the movie as well. It’s a rather gritty movie all around and just feels less focused than some of the others. This one feels like they just needed another Halloween film and didn’t bother to come up with more of a plot.

If anything I was more interested in the shadowy figure the whole time. He only gets a few scenes but at least he adds the air of mystery to the film. He also has an impact on the ending which leaves the film on a nice cliffhanger. Horror films pretty much have to have a cliffhanger in each title and I can safely say that this one was on point. It’s not like it would make me be hyped for Halloween 6 but it’s a silver lining that I can grab onto.

The other human characters like Tina just don’t have a chance to do much. I would make the case that the heroines from the earlier films all had more character. For Tina you’re really just wondering if she will be able to make it to the end of the film or if she’ll be doomed. Either way at least she’s better than all the other randoms here. You have the guy who owns a car and is rude to everyone at all times. (Guy is ready to murder the others over his car) You have the best friend who doesn’t take anything seriously and then her guy who is just around for romance.

There are no human characters that are good here. You can barely even tell that one of the cops from the last film is still around. His daughter died in the last film so you figure he would have an axe to grind but the film really doesn’t pay him any mind at all. I think she is maybe referenced once at best. The other cops are even able to be tricked by Loomis and overpowered at gunpoint. Two others admit that they aren’t good cops and get clown music when they’re destroyed.

It’s such a random scene too. I don’t think this film is necessarily trying to go the comedic route but maybe they decided these characters would be an exception. There are also a ton of fake jump scares so get ready for those. Half the time the build up to these moments is all fake so after a while you will probably start tuning these moments out. Sometimes you’ll even have fake jump scares back to back which is certainly a bold approach.

Overall, This is a film I would definitely say to avoid. Halloween has never been a film series with any real quality but at least you usually felt like the stories had a real focus. This one just never seems to have any real point to it. One bright side is that the film really breezes by as a result but it’s definitely a sequel that adds nothing to the franchise. I would highly recommend avoiding this one as much as possible.

Overall 2/10

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) vs Lucifer Magne

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Suggested by Dinosaurroars This is one of those times where a lack of feats really ends up hurting one of the characters. See, Lucifer is incredibly high ranked in the universe and should be one of the strongest characters in the series but he hasn’t done much yet. Meanwhile we’ve seem Alastor use teleportation, fire blasts, shadows, a super form, etc. Right now Alastor easily destroys Lucifer from what we’ve seen so this won’t be a close battle. Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) wins.

Anguirus vs Scorpion King

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Suggested by Destroyer The Scorpion King is a strong man who can move reasonably fast but that’s not really a threat to a Kaiju. Anguirus can shrug off each of those hits like they were nothing and just keep charging ahead to victory. He only needs to connect with a single shot and that should be it for this king. The Scorpion King was just not ready for this kind of opponent. Anguirus wins.

Phantom Blot vs Dr Mindbender

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Suggested by Destroyer Dr Mindbender is back but he won’t be doing much against the Phantom Blot. He will be absorbed into the darkness and good luck hitting someone who has the level of agility that Phantom Blot has. He will be able to dodge every attack with ease and can continue to build up his lead that way. Mindbender’s durability is quite low so a good hit or two will end this. Phantom Blot wins.

Anguirus vs Dr Mindbender

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Suggested by Destroyer Dr Mindbender has some guns and explosives but Anguirus can certainly handle that level of firepower. It won’t be breaking through his shell, I think we can say that with confidence. Mindbender doesn’t have any super secret tricks up his sleeve either so at the end of the day he will just be plum out of options. When the going gets tough, Mindbender will fold. Anguirus wins.

Anguirus vs Tombstone

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Suggested by Destroyer Tombstone is a powerful Spiderman villain whose durability is so high that it hurts Spiderman just to attack the guy. As a result it’s safe to say that Tombstone will be landing some major damage here. Anguirus has no long range options to try and hold him back so that will end up being his loss. The hits will just add up until victory is claimed. Tombstone wins.

Anguirus vs Big Guy

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Suggested by Destroyer Anguirus is a powerful Kaiju who may tend to be overshadowed by the other Kaiju since he has no ranged attacks but he is still strong in his own right. It’s unlikely that the Big Guy could survive any of his attacks or move quickly enough to dodge them. A single strike from Anguirus should end this as soon as it has begun. Anguirus wins.