Category Archives: 5 Star Movies

Hitman Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The Hitman video game series is definitely well known and you figure a film about it should be amazing right? Well, this one didn’t quite do it for me. It has some moments that show promise but ultimately just made too many mistakes which kept this from being the next big hit. At least they got the suit and tie right.

So the movie starts off with a quick origin for 47 and he gets the drop on the interpol agent Mike. We then get a flashback to 3 months ago to set things up. Here are the ground rules you need to know about this universe. A bunch of kids were raised to be future hitmen so they don’t show much emotion. The main character’s name is simply 47 and he has done really well. The head of the group or at least the one who contacts him is Diana and she has historically given him a lot of missions that he completes easily enough. Well, one day the mission appears to be a set-up as the guy (Mikhail) that 47 murdered is still alive and he’s told to murder a witness (Nika) who didn’t actually see him? 47 needs to figure out what is going on quickly to turn the tables on these guys or else his reputation as a top hitman may be on the line.

I do think it’s always an odd decision to have your first movie be something that changes the status quo to something you haven’t experienced yet. Shouldn’t a plot about 47 being betrayed by his group be a sequel’s plot as opposed to the original? At least give us a chance to see 47 working in a normal environment. In that sense I’d say you should have had the sequel take place first since the plot was more standard for 47. This is true for any film based on a franchise though, the first movie should feel like a classic adventure with whatever elements are usually in the games and then you subvert this later on.

Well, lets knock out some of the negatives right away. First up, the editing isn’t great and that’s a field I don’t even bring up unless it’s really bad. There are a ton of cuts in each action sequence so you don’t actually get to see the action a lot. Why do you need 5 different camera angles for someone getting punched? Now even if they actually did a solid punch on the set it’s hard to tell and you assume the choreography wasn’t very good. This happens a lot during pretty much every fight.

The only one that gets around this is the 4 man sword fight which is actually really good. Now that’s a fight that is a highlight in the movie and gave us a good look at what could happen here. If this had been the feel of the whole film then I think we’d be having a whole different conversation here. The sword fight was just really good. The gun battles and hand to hand are solid too of course but not nearly on the same level, particularly because of the cuts.

Then sometimes it felt like they were just taking short cuts. There is one scene where a character is walking through a underground parking lot of sorts. Instead of you know…having the character just walk all the way through before cutting away we see him take a step, then there’s a blinding flash of light. Then another step, another light, and then rinse and repeat for a third time before he vanishes. Beyond trying to give the audience seizures, what is even the point of that? It doesn’t make sense to me and felt like they just didn’t want to film the whole walking sequence or something happened and they lost some of the files.

I don’t mind a film being busy with a lot of effects (Kaguya season 1 handled this perfectly with lots of special effects everywhere) but they should have some kind of purpose to them. Otherwise it’s just adding effects to add them. Also, the romance here is pretty bad. Nika is a character who has effectively been held hostage for a long while by the villains. It feels like the last thing she wants to do is to get into an affair right now. There’s also no reason she would actually start liking 47 this quickly as she should still be in self preservation mode. He’s constantly threatening her and their whole dynamic just seems very weak. It all happens way too quickly and 47’s half hearted resistance will just make you roll your eyes.

This is a film that definitely didn’t need romance in the slightest. Finally, I thought the organization could have looked better. Now I don’t know much about 47’s group so maybe they’re all just evil anyway but at least Diana seems trustworthy with how she called 47 to warn him. How come she didn’t find out that the fix was in sooner? Also, why is the organization willing to sell out 47 this easily when he’s one of their best assets? Feels like they’re choosing the wrong side to me by a long shot. You don’t want to turn someone like 47 against you, that’s a terrible move.

Okay so for the good parts, I did like the Interpol agent Mike. That guy wasn’t about to get pushed around by the Russians and just kept going on the case to stop 47. He wasn’t getting distracted or tricked along the way either and just held onto his singular focus the whole time. He may never actually be a threat to 47 in anyway but his plot was always interesting.

47 himself was a decent main character as well. I wouldn’t say he was very good and he lost some points along the way but ultimately he always had a plan and would come out on top. He certainly got the upper hand on Mike quickly enough and took out a ton of villains at every point. I liked Diana even if her role was super small. I was not really a fan of Nika though. Certainly a tragic backstory for her but in the present she didn’t actually get to contribute much at all.

As for the villain Mikhail, well he is the kind of guy who panics a whole ton. The plan to frame 47 was solid without a doubt but the villains didn’t know how to follow through on that. There are a few other villains as well but none of them are particularly memorable. The movie goes through the motions and they get their moments where they come close to stopping 47 but you barely even see them as characters most of the time.

The soundtrack is pretty decent though. Some solid tunes in there and I did like the visual. The movie always made sure to show off 47’s suit and how the tie would practically glow. Fans will at least be satisfied that the outfit is pretty much a 1 to 1 recreation from the games. No expense was spared there and the ending also leaves some interesting plots for future installments. Of course no sequel would end up coming out but it did get you interested in the franchise as a whole and that is at least partially the goal in making an adaption like this.

Overall, Hitman wasn’t a success. For everything it did right, it did something wrong as well. I would place is squarely in the middle as a result and while there is a decent amount of replay value, I feel as though there is no real reason to watch it again. Watch Mission Impossible instead if you want to see some solid secret agent work or watch Terminator if you want to watch a stoic villain running around. After all, make no mistake, 47 is still a villain here. Just because his goals align with the heroes sometimes doesn’t change the fact that he is still a killer for hire who follows orders without really thinking about it. If the games keep in all of the interesting plot elements while touching the rest up then I can definitely see how this became a really big franchise.

Overall 5/10

Bigger Than Life Review

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It’s never a good thing when you become bigger than life because that means that your ego is probably something you haven’t kept in check. This film has something like that happen to the main character but it’s not ego in this case. Instead it comes through not following the proper dosage on a drug and things get a little dicey. It’s why following the instructions for anything is so crucial.

The movie starts with showing us how sick Ed is. He’s been having seizures and fainting spells as of late so he is taken to the hospital and the prognosis is not very good. Ed will be dead in short order unless he tries an experimental treatment which could bump him off as well. It’s his best and only option though so he goes through with it. At first things appear to be fine but slowly Ed begins to go more and more insane to the point where even his family barely recognize him. Will Ed be okay or was this one case where the cure is deadlier than the condition?

Now, I mentioned that the issue is with Ed taking too much Corazon but even before that he started going a bit off the deep end. Sure this sped it up but based on how it appeared, he would have gone crazy sooner or later while taking these. Nowadays it’s more of a mainstream drug and I know it’s used on a lot of things so at least the going crazy part isn’t happening now.

Ed’s wife Lou doesn’t handle this too well the whole time though. On one hand she is trying to back up her husband at every turn which is admirable but it goes too far when he starts becoming a danger to everyone around them and she doesn’t act. He becomes quite harsh with their kid and starts acting like a drill sergeant. He doesn’t treat her very kindly half the time either and by the time she is finally ready to acknowledge that he is crazy..he is completely off his rocket. Her final plan also wasn’t subtle enough which nearly cost her everything.

The story has a happy ending but she didn’t contribute to that too much. She also should have been a lot nicer to Wally who just did his best to keep her in the loop and offer advice. She was rarely if ever grateful at all. Its fortunate that he was around in the end or thing would not have gone very well at all. Wally was easily my favorite character here. No matter how many verbal shots he took, the guy just kept trying to help anyway. Now that’s a really good friend.

As for the kid Richie, he’s not old enough to be able to do much of anything in this scenario anyway. He’s not a very interesting character and eventually also gets to his breaking point but there’s just no way for him to really impact the story. I don’t think you even needed him in the film since it doesn’t change much. You could have Ed threaten someone else instead for the same effect.

As for Ed, well it’s hard to like him here since he was taken over so completely by the drug and cracked. It’s too bad there weren’t at least scenes of him trying to fight it or we could see in his mind as the two sides of him fought. Instead since the brain washing was so complete and immediate, the only thing you can assume here is that he didn’t have the willpower to resist this. Hopefully he is able to stay strong now but for the majority of the film he’s effectively the antagonist.

The movie doesn’t have a very fun feeling to it the whole time either because of this. It’s either the characters running away from Ed or he’s just acting off. There aren’t a lot of light hearted moments after the first few scenes. The ones we do get later on are almost always interrupted into a more tense moment.

If the character cast was better then it would help the movie for sure. Instead this just ends up being a movie that you will get through but you probably won’t be recommending very high. It doesn’t really have any replay value either. The writing is good but the characters aren’t so it’s not really able to take full advantage of that. Some of the drama can also be a bit forced like Ed not letting Lou know about his part time job. While he indicated that she wouldn’t be happy about it, that’s not consistent with her character at all. Seems to me like she would not have thought that it was a very big deal at all.

So Ed’s perception may have already been a little off here. He was adding on extra stress to himself that he just didn’t need. Once he turned crazy he would certainly start making a lot of scenes like at the school and when he started to read his Bible but before that it didn’t seem like he had enough trust in Lou. If he had confided in her earlier and more often then she may have been able to help him get around the side effects right from the start. It’s why you can’t always go it alone in these things or you may end up being down and out.

Overall, Bigger Than Life is an emotional film about losing control of your mind. It’s definitely going for a pretty serious vibe and succeeds at that but as a result the movie just doesn’t have a lot of charm to it. You can get by without charm if the story is just that epic and engaging but this isn’t even that kind of adventure. It’s more of a low key story as the characters try their best to get through this tough period and there’s just not a whole lot of reasons to watch this one. It’s not bad and if you’re up for a more somber film then it’s worth a shot but you can definitely find something else to check out.

Overall 5/10

Night Watch Review

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Night Watch makes for a pretty interesting watch after Gaslight. After all it seems to be going in a similar direction but is it really leading up to the same conclusion? Well, part of the fun is in watching it get there. It is certainly better than both of the Gaslight films but I still wouldn’t call it very good or anything. It certainly goes a bit far in the ending and it’s one of those films that doesn’t have a particularly likable cast. Some clever dialogue and moments do keep it from being a bad film though so ultimately it would be right in the middle. “Mid” you could say.

The movie starts off with Ellen and her husband John having an ordinary night but then Ellen makes the mistake of heading near the window during a dark and stormy night. She happens to see a murder in the window next door and quickly calls him over but by the time John gets there the body is gone. They call the cops who do a thorough inspection of the house but find nothing there. The cops think Ellen may have been imagining it. After all, it was dark out and the house is a fair distance to be watching in those conditions but Ellen does not drop her claim. Perhaps the next door neighbor Mr. Appleby knows something about it. He has been planting quite a lot lately……

So at its core this is a classic murder mystery only you aren’t sure if Ellen is correct here. She is in a fragile mental state due to some things that happened in her past. The movie goes into it but she had a breakdown at one point so this could be some kind of projection there. It doesn’t help that she keeps calling the cops over and over again to the point where they start to complain to John. None of the searches turn anything up so it’s not like they have much evidence anyway. The film is the embodiment of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” when you think about it.

Inspector Walker is a fun character though. You have to give him credit for doing his due diligence because he does inspect the house multiple times. He certainly put in the effort even if it didn’t turn anything up. He even posted some guards to watch the place throughout the night. Even he has a breaking point with how often he has to go over to the same house. Perhaps arresting Ellen for a night for using up the police lines would have made some sense there. Not that you want to punish someone for reporting a crime but when it gets this excessive it has to be something that you consider right?

Now to Ellen’s defense, Mr. Appleby is certainly as suspicious as possible. I said that the cops never found anyone in the house but I should amend that to say that they found him there once. His excuse was that he was curious since Ellen kept claiming there was a murder. His other suspicious action was deciding to plant some new bushes/plants right after this supposed murder. Nothing wrong with gardening but the timing was certainly very interesting eh? He makes for a fun character. Someone who is rather defensive but who wouldn’t be when they’re a murder suspect.

John seems reasonable at first but gets gradually worse as the film goes on. He certainly acts like he’s making the right moves and defends Ellen in public but he is severely lacking in willpower. Lets just say that he makes all of the wrong choices which don’t bode well for him. You can say the same thing for Sarah who’s just not a very nice person. Since Ellen is surrounded by these characters who aren’t that great, it’s not particularly healthy for her recovery.

As for Ellen, well she is jumping at shadows after a point with how she keeps on calling the cops. At one point she apparently called over 10 times in one day which is really a whole lot. At that point since you know the police can’t do anything you’d think she would give it a rest. You aren’t likely to forget her as the lead though.

The climax gets surprisingly violent as mentioned earlier so you’ll want to watch out for that. The rest of the movie is really mild and laidback which is why this can come as a surprise. As for the twists at the end, well the film handles it really well. You definitely look back at the rest of the film in a different light and it all lands well. I would say I don’t think the plan will be as successful as the murderer expects though. This is something that only works for a short while, maybe a day at best. I think after that the cops will make a move and at that point someone’s going down. Now, whether they get the right person or not is really up to the viewer to decide.

I think they would pull it off though. Getting proof might be tougher but you have sufficient motive and things are very suspicious once they add it up. They may also get someone else who wasn’t in on the actual murder but knowing about it is almost as bad so game over there. It’s all head canon as the film ends early so you get to decide what happens next. It’s an open ending that works well enough. The film lives up to the suspenseful atmosphere it built up at the start.

Overall, Night Watch probably won’t play in quite the way that you expect and so in that way it really works as a solid mystery. It would be nice if we had more characters to really root for though. I liked the Inspector but he’s hardly the main character or even the main secondary one. I expect much like in a horror film they probably don’t want to make the characters too likable or you start to feel bad for everyone so it’s always a tight rope there. If you’re up for a suspenseful ride then this could be the ticket for you. It may have a bit of a slow build up near the middle but the film’s always doing enough to keep you interested for the ending.

Overall 5/10

The Last Wave Review

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The Last Wave is certainly a strange film. It doesn’t mind lingering on a shot of the sky or an empty house for a little while. There’s always a mysterious humming tune playing and so this helps to keep you off balance the whole time as you don’t know exactly how this is going to play out. It’s all just a little too dragged out though which hurts the film’s momentum.

The movie starts with a powerful hail storm striking a school and knocking one of the kids for a loop. We then see a bunch of guys at a bar and things get out of control when one guy gets drunk and then ultimately drowns. The group at the scene of the crime are taken in on the charge of murder. This leads us to our tax expert named David who is picked as their lawyer for some reason. Seems kind of random but David never turns down an assignment. He tries to make a connection with the main guy named Chris but he’s super vague. Chris also brings in his mentor Charlie who is also quite mysterious.

These two are from a tribe with supernatural customs including a bone that you could point at someone to make them die instantly. David’s best chance is if he can prove that they murdered the guy in this supernatural fashion and since that would be considered tribal law, the group could get off as being innocent. Unfortunately proving tribal law will be difficult especially since Chris and the others won’t play ball for some reason. Why are they keeping so many secrets and why is David starting to have a lot of visions? The whole thing feels rather strange so he is going to have to find answers for that.

From there we get a lot of scenes with David thinking or wondering what’s going on. Naturally the people around him either start to think that he’s crazy or making a mistake. His wife isn’t thrilled about this as Charlie even appears outside of the house in the dead of night and really spooks her. She didn’t exactly sign up for this but props to David for confronting Charlie the next day.

Unfortunately he doesn’t really get any answers out of him. Charlie just spams the “Who are you?” card over and over again. David has a partner who also thinks this is insane and that David should stop trying so hard. The case looks open and shut so there might not be anything he can do, especially when his own clients refuse to help out and seem to be on some kind of order of silence. More tribal law perhaps?

Throughout the film weird things are happening with the weather too. You have black rain falling from the sky which people claim to be pollution but it seems weirder than that. For example, it only starts falling in a small area as opposed to falling everywhere. It’s a bit hard to explain that. One thing that also helps David start to believe that are his visions where he starts seeing things that he shouldn’t even know about.

There’s a court scene in the movie which is fun as David tries to present supernatural evidence. The court actually considers it far more than you would typically expect. It definitely makes for a surreal scene as is the rest of the movie. While I’m skeptical that things would play out like this…at all. It still made for a fun moment as I always like to get a court scene thrown in.

While the movie is mainly focused on being super strange and doesn’t jump into the realm of action too much, the climax suddenly gets a little intense. We get a little wrestling as David turns into Indiana Jones and really investigates the cave. The whole thing turns into a bit of a conspiracy you could say as the tunnels go throughout the city. This leads into a pretty solid ending. You can take the ending in a few different ways but I consider it to be “Game Over”. There’s no coming back from this and in a way the futility of David’s whole adventure hits him all at once here. It’s like he never stood a chance.

The most annoying character in the film has to be Chris though. David’s trying to help him and the guy remains cryptic and completely unhelpful for the entirety of the film. You’d think that he would step up at least once, but no he never does. Even by the end he just ditches the main character because it got too dangerous. Then you have Charlie who seems completely insane. That could make for a good villain but he’s not good at using his abilities at all and just appears to be completely ineffective in the climax. Surely with his abilities he could do much better than how he performed here.

The Last Wave does a good job of being strange but where it loses me is in how long it’s got to be. We’ll have a conversation with David and Chris that takes eons as they have to have a dramatic pause at the end of each word and then just stare waiting for the other person to slowly have a response. These artificial delays occur for every conversation in the film involving Chris and the other characters. A random scene like the bathtub overflowing will take several minutes as David slowly walks up the steps and ponders his life as he turns it off.

So that does bring the whole eerie feel of the movie across but it also means that the pacing is simply dreadful. The events take too long to happen which hurts the replay value and even the experience of making it to the end. If you cut out how long some of these scenes were then this would easily jump up a point or two. Maybe if the payoff was even bigger then this would have gotten another point that way as well. There’s a lot to interest you here but it just takes too long to get there.

Overall, The Last Wave is a film that’s right in the middle. It’s far too drawn out to be good but there’s enough interesting angles here where it’s not bad. If you want a film that’s very original and off the normal path then this is the one to check out. It is difficult to make a film this strange without being nonsensical or making big mistakes so the film deserves some credit there. The ending is also very memorable so you aren’t likely to forget it anytime soon.

Overall 5/10

For the Love of the Game Review

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Time for some Baseball action. This film also throws some romance into the mix but it’s probably the weakest part here. Ultimately this is a classic story of having to choose between your love for someone else and your love of the game. There’s a lot of drama over here and what is going on ends up being bigger than any single game.

The movie starts with Billy getting ready to pitch his final game. He’s gotten quite a bit older and can’t really throw the way that he used too. He’s just too old and he knows it, but he doesn’t want to leave the game either. He’s had a great career so his coach Frank is reluctant to pull him out but at the same time he does want to win. Billy can continue his career if he really wants to do so, but it will be on a different team. He reflects on his life as the game goes on and how it all led to this.

A big part of that is in his romance with Jane. So this one falls flat for a few reasons. One of which is that they hook up almost immediately without really knowing each other so both come off as really desperate. Jane tries to say later on that she isn’t usually that kind of person but it’s a bit late for that and then Billy certainly proves that he is that kind of person when he cheats on her later on. They just never really ended up connecting in the long run and so the romance wasn’t one that you could really root for.

Put it this way, if Billy was able to cheat on Jane after a single disagreement then he was never too serious about her in the first place. You just don’t cheat on someone like that, especially so quickly. It was really a terrible look for him. Jane really shouldn’t have even attempted to bridge the gap here after that. From the start another red flag was that their relationship was going to be a long distance one where they aren’t supposed to call each other or even think about each other. They were supposed to live their lives and just hang out when they’re in the same town. That doesn’t sound like a winning way to go through life now does it?

The Baseball scenes are fun though even if they never feel like the main part of the story. The final game in the present is certainly dramatic since Billy wants to go out on a high note. No better way than to try and pitch a shutout right? That’s extremely rare in any game and almost never happens. Billy also has a good team by his side. There’s the up and coming outfielder who initially has a hard time not messing up on the field but learns to tune out the media and just play ball.

There’s also the catcher Gus who was with Billy every step of the way. Billy would also fight to keep Gus on the team when the coach wanted to put someone else in. They made for a good duo and clearly had a great career even if the time was almost up there. So the movie’s got a lot of emotional stories going on and especially plots about how age always catches up to you. Sure enough, it’s not something that you can escape forever. Ultimately it will always return to make you retire at some point.

Jane’s daughter Heather also gets to appear for a bit. She’s used in a way to try and patch things up with Billy and Jane. Heather’s nice enough even if she starts out as a bit of a rebel. She can give Billy a hard time at first but warms up to him later on. Her role isn’t super large but she does appear near the end of the film in the current timeline and she’s now more of an outgoing person. Perhaps Billy had a positive effect on her there.

I would have liked to have seen some more Baseball action though. That’s really what I’m here for and I felt like it didn’t really get a big role. More Baseball games would have been nice, maybe take us through the whole season as Billy’s play began to deteriorate more and more. Particularly given the title of the film focusing on that would be best and by constantly seeing Baseball games in the flashback, it would also be a meta way to show the audience that it was still the first thing that he thinks about every day. It could further show Jane that she ultimately made the right choice in deciding to head out.

The writing’s decent enough here. You’ll be invested as the film goes on and the pacing is good too. It doesn’t drag out or anything like that either. I wasn’t a fan of the two main leads here but I did like the friend and the coach. Ultimately the coach especially has a tough job here since he needs to keep the locker room happy while also making the tough business decisions so that the team can keep on winning. The whole thing is impossible to keep impersonal here since everyone has known each other for so long. Still, he does a good job of it and is also careful to make sure Billy isn’t overdoing it.

Overall, The film’s main weakness is that the romance doesn’t really work. Both characters made massive mistakes with how the relationship was started in the beginning and then Billy ruined it beyond repair. The Baseball scenes were always great but they were just so few and far between. I really think we should have gotten more cool Baseball moments and that also could have let us meet more of the team. When you think about it, we didn’t actually know too many of the players.

Overall 5/10

Point Break Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is definitely a film I knew about for a while but only the bare minimum. It’s nice to check this one off the bucket list and it certainly has some fun ideas. Ultimately the film does have its share of negatives though which keep it from going into the green. As a result I’d place this one right in the middle. It basically cancels itself out at every scene but makes for an entertaining watch as a result.

The movie starts with the U.S. former presidents robbing yet another bank. They’ve hit dozens of banks at this point for years and nobody has ever caught them. Now I should say that these aren’t the actual presidents but merely thieves who wear the masks resembling the old presidents. Well, the FBI have a newbie on the team named Johnny Utah and he is determined to crack this case. He convinces his senior partner Angelo to tell him everything and the guy reveals that he thinks the villains are actually a bunch of surfers. Naturally the idea seems crazy but it’s the only lead so Johnny has to learn how to surf. He quickly meets a team of very close knit surfers and the main one is a really good fighter. Hmmmm…maybe he’s on to something.

The classic going undercover routine is always a classic. It’s definitely a tough job to be sure since your cover can be blown at any time so it’s a high risk. Especially since Johnny is actually working in the field as an FBI agent in the same area. If anybody recognizes him then his cover is blown. Fortunately for Johnny he is a smooth talker and he used to be a big shot quarterback so that helps his cache with the guys that he meets. After all, what are the odds that a quarterback would go on to become an FBI agent right? It just seems to random that nobody suspects him at all.

Unfortunately, maybe in part because of how new he is to this, Johnny can be a bit sloppy at time. Case in point, there’s a moment where he is having his quick affair with the main heroine and of course he just so happens to have his gun and ID hanging around. You probably should have that kept extremely secure. I would also argue that while you want to get close to the suspects you probably shouldn’t start any kind of romantic affairs with them. It’s the biggest reason these operations tend to end in disaster because the main character gets too close to the case. It also means you have to start lying a whole lot more frequently and people are bound to get hurt.

I also think the whole thing was too fast to be a true romance. Johnny barely even knew Tyler by that point. She helped him learn how to surf which is great but that’s about it. He should have kept to himself a little more which would also give him more time to process all of the information that he was getting. You can blame some of it on Johnny being new to all of this but some of this is just common sense. He often ends up putting himself in worse and worse circumstances as the film goes on.

I do like his ability to remain cool under fire though. At one point in the film he knows that they’re onto him and they certainly know that he knows, but both sides play it cool. They decide to go sky diving and pretend that they’re having fun even throughout all of the tension. The shoe eventually drops on this and they all have to go back to reality but I thought that sequence was handled fantastically. It’s one of the better moments here.

So Johnny made a lot of mistakes and I wouldn’t call him a great lead but he’s fun. For example, I disagree with his final decision to let someone have their last request. I know that accepting a last request is a big deal but sometimes I really think that you shouldn’t give the guy the satisfaction. This is one of those ties without a doubt.

The main heroine Tyler is okay. She’s good at surfing which is very important in this film. She’s gotten in with a fairly bad crowd though and it’s probably hard to get out. That means things don’t really go very well for her in the film. Tyler’s not as far off the deep end as some of the other characters though. For example, Bodhi’s the main villain here and you can tell that he’s not quite right. The thrills mean far too much to him to the point where he has been completely consumed by them at this point. He’s no longer in it just for the surfing but to keep on topping himself.

I think if he had kept to the plan and not done any showboating then he would have ended up as a better villain. Once he started going overboard and just blaming this on Johnny or chance is when he got weaker. What I’d have done would have been to have had the group escape after handing the hostage over and making a clean getaway as always. They would have then all perished in the big waves that came through. It may not have been a very satisfying end to the heroes but I think it would have made Bodhi appear as a villain who was quite genuine in his motives. That wasn’t the case though so I didn’t end up becoming much of a fan of his.

Angelo’s a good character for the most part but has one scene that approaches the point of parody. He’s supposed to be the smart one of the group who’s always ready for action and yet he is so dismissive of the possibility of catching the crooks that he slacks off while on a stake out. He’s more interested in getting his sandwiches and a drink than actually keeping watch. When a vehicle pulls up to the bank he doesn’t even give it a second thought.

This is absolutely something you’d have seen in a comedic parody but it’s played straight here. Angelo should be blaming himself throughout but instead shifts this onto Johnny later on. If Angelo had taken this more seriously then the film might have ended a whole lot sooner. He blew it there but it’s a funny scene because of how crazy the whole thing is. It really takes you by surprise.

Finally we have Ben who is a stand out character. He’s Johnny’s boss and is always giving him grief about everything. I like how direct he is and the guy seems to try and be a jerk from day 1. In his first scene he’s already being mean for no real reason. He’s so over the top that he ends up becoming a fun antagonist. He’s not going around committing crimes or anything but he might as well be with how he’s handling all of this. He’s not exactly making any waves in the case either but always comes in to assign blame. Shoutout to the undercover cop at the final bank though. That guy really did a great job, he certainly took out more opponents than I was expecting. I ended up liking him quite a bit even though his role was so brief. That’s a perfect example of how you make the most of your opportunity.

The film keeps up a solid comedic tone throughout which makes the pacing good. That said, the script is one of the weakest ones I’ve seen in a while. Apparently becoming a sailor pretty much means talking like a sailor the whole time so the main characters are just swearing like they’re in a horror movie at all points. It’s incredibly overdone to the point of being a bit distracting. I’d say that could have definitely been improved here.

As mentioned, the romance is also on the weaker side here. It’s just extremely rushed and doesn’t really make much sense. I don’t see it lasting beyond the film either once the characters have all calmed down. It’s hard to forget about things like that. A sequel could have been interesting with how this all turned out though. Johnny’s role would have certainly been different.

Overall, Point Break really embraces the craziness of their plan to take the villains down by becoming a surfer. The best scenes are when the heroes are messing around with the boss and just causing a lot of trouble at work. It’s a film where you should be grinning for a good chunk of it. I also don’t think it would be very hard to make the film better either. Scale back the romance, improve the writing, and maybe take out some of the surfing scenes for other sports and that could work. For example the sky diving was a lot of fun and I did like the quick football game. Maybe even show more of the robberies since we didn’t actually get to see those. At the end of the day Bodhi blew it for his team but that’s the way it goes for villains sometimes. They just lose sight of the forest for the trees.

Overall 5/10

Frogs Review

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I have to say, I had my doubts about a horror film based on frogs. After all, that has a lot of potential for animal violence and generally not being a good film. Well, it ended up not falling into that trap so I was glad about that. I do think the title is incredibly misleading for the most part and I would have changed it personally. Not like a title is going to hurt the score though. I wouldn’t call Frogs a particularly good movie but it does enough to stay afloat which is far more than I thought possible from this sub genre.

The film starts off with Pickett minding his own business as he takes photographs of the local animals. Unfortunately his boat is tipped over by Clint and Karen who were enjoying a nice boat ride. They tell him to come to their private island so they can give him a nice meal to make up for this and send him on his way. This is actually a very special occasion as it’s Jason’s birthday and that guy is the captain of the family. When it’s his birthday everyone has to attend and make a big deal of it. Jason says that nothing will stop this birthday celebration. That is put to the test when the big family starts to get bumped off one by one. It couldn’t be….and yet….could it be the Frogs taking them out??

If you told me this film was part parody I would actually believe you. The way the characters react to their whole family being destroyed can feel unreal at times. Jason is absolutely true to his word about sticking to the party celebration. Even with multiple family members dead he keeps on with his plan. The guy is certainly the main human antagonist of the film but it’s so overdramatic that it’ll make you chuckle a bit. Absolutely nothing phases the guy which is really quite incredible. By the time he takes the threat seriously it’s far too late.

The death scenes are crazy though. One guy walks into the greenhouse. I forget why he was there, but it might have just been to mend the plants or he was looking for medicine. Well, a snake starts to slowly toss each of the ingredients to the ground which gradually causes a poisonous effect. Now this isn’t a subtle poison but an obvious one as the smoke ends up filling the room. This guy…..walks towards the poisonous smoke instead of away from it…even as he sees that the snake is dropping bottles. Sure enough, the snake keeps going so the bottles keep falling and that’s it. There’s just no escape at that point but it was probably the oddest way to go out.

A close second though is one lady is taken out by a snapping turtle. Basically she tripped and couldn’t get out of the way in time…but it’s a turtle! They’re so slow I dare say you could outrun one while crawling or being on the ground. Honestly you could probably even defend yourself really well unless I’m underestimating them. No comment on the leeches death though, I guess that one’s hard to get around if they’re draining you dry at a rapid pace. I can also say the alligator death would be incredibly difficult to get around. Once you’re in the water with it I don’t see a way out so I completely understand on that one. It’s very understandable that this is a fight you cannot win.

So each of the characters is bumped off but you’re probably wondering…what about the frogs? Well, the frogs are there but they just don’t do much of anything in the field. Instead they seem to give orders as they are constantly yelling to each other in that way frogs speak. It’s not terribly exciting but evidently it gets the job done so who am I to argue with the results right? Having the frogs be the masterminds behind this whole plot is definitely interesting but I would have liked to have seen them fight more. I think the writers were probably wondering just how a frog could destroy somebody. Personally I’d go the poison route, like it’s so strong that the person can’t break free. That would work well enough.

Knowing that the characters are mostly all doomed, it’s hard to get attached to any of them. Pickett is the main character here and he’s reasonable enough I guess. He tries to stay out of the family drama for the most part which is really a smart move. At the same time, he’s trapped on the same island as the rest of them so there really isn’t much of an escape either. He’s just going to have to ride this one out and it’s tough to get off of an island like this when your enemies are all over the ocean. That’s something he has to deal with right from the start.

Clint didn’t seem like a very good guy. He wants to please Jason so that he’ll get the inheritance and unfortunately he chooses that over defending his wife. Then you have Karen who is easily the most reasonable member of the group. Unfortunately she is also hesitant to stand up to Jason which means that she delays the group in leaving until the last possible moment. That definitely doesn’t help matters for their chances of survival.

The film has a good twist ending but the problem is that it’s before the actual ending. Usually you want to have the twist at the end, at least that’s how I figure you would want it right? That’s not actually the case here though. It’s still a really good twist and I like how nonchalantly it’s handled but this absolutely should have been the final scene in the film. That would have really left a huge impact with the audience. It sets up the sequel quite nicely and that’s really how you want a horror film to end.

So, is this film taking itself seriously or is it a parody? Well, ultimately I do think it’s taking itself seriously and the victims are unironically making all the horror movie mistakes. Splitting up, tripping, etc. It’s just some of these decisions will really be having you scratch your head at how it all plays out. It’s also just a little hard to take Frogs seriously as the main villains even if they are having the rest of the animal kingdom helping out.

Most of the deaths aren’t really that violent. This is still part horror-thriller though so you can expect some painful ends. It has more restraint than most titles like this though so it should get some credit there. The writing is okay, nothing spectacular but I thought the characters were decent enough. The film will manage to keep your attention the whole way through too. You’ll even feel sad when the frogs end up crushing the birthday cake and all of the festivities. Those guys really were not holding back here!

Overall, Frogs may be a film that will have you chuckling half the time but it really does mean well. I think you may like it partially in an ironic way but that’s still enough to get it some points. I wouldn’t call it a bad film even if it’s really not very good. That’s why I have it squarely in the middle. You’ll have some fun with it, the film’s got good pacing so it doesn’t drag on and the film really goes all in on what it’s trying to do here. At the same time there aren’t many memorable characters and even fewer likable ones. There’s nothing about it that particularly would make it stand out as a good title.

Overall 5/10

RoboCop 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

RoboCop 2 is the weakest film in the series. It still has its fun moments and memorable scenes but starts to show a lot of weaknesses that the first film just didn’t have. A lot of this you can trace back to the new main villain but it’s really a group effort in the end. He was only part of the problem, but I will say the film has a very solid group of opening scenes here which start the film off on the right note.

With RoboCop as the hot new item, OCP is pretty happy with how things have gone. Now Detroit is nearly penniless and they are ready to own the entire city. Still, RoboCop has been acting a little too much like an individual as opposed to a machine so it’s time to brainwash him again. (This guy seriously cannot catch a break!) After RoboCop is encouraged to break off ties with his old family for good, he’s beat up by the new gang in town led by Cain and a kid named Hob. If even RoboCop can’t stop these villains…who can?

First off, having a kid be one of the main villains is not a good idea. I can’t take Hob seriously at all. The fact that he is able to talk tough to the traitorous cop Duffy and some of the other villains just makes you shake your head. He acts like a big shot but he’s young enough where anyone could just slap him to the side. Of course RoboCop can’t do much against him due to the system blocking him from messing with a kid but it’s just an annoying way to go about it. At least have RoboCop grab him or something.

Of course, in this film RoboCop can only move with the speed of molasses so good luck with that. He walks into every trap imaginable and just doesn’t look impressive. Nobody should be scared of him if this is the extent of his abilities. Not only is he slow but he can take serious damage from even basic attacks. The villains just pull out some fancy guns and they have RoboCop on the defensive. That’s not a good look for the crime fighter at all and just takes away any hype he had built up before now.

The scene where the villains quite literally rip RoboCop to pieces is just annoying. Sure, I can buy into how RoboCop wasn’t able to break away since the magnet makes sense, but the scenes leading up to that are really something. It’s depressing to see his parts just thrown onto the street where the officers are on strike again. You want RoboCop to be treated with far more dignity than he is awarded there. The villains end up doing something similar to the traitor cop which is definitely a more graphic scene although mainly off screen so you just hear the buzz saw getting closer.

Can’t say Duffy was very sympathetic though considering how awful he was. Even RoboCop wasn’t really showing him any mercy during their fight like when he kept throwing the guy through walls over and over again. I guess he can at least flex against normal human opponents since they can’t really fight back. Anne doesn’t get a big role in this one. She tries to remind RoboCop of his humanity a bit but that’s all.

Meanwhile corporate has a new villain in Juliette since the old ones were bumped off. She is willing to do whatever it takes to get higher in the company whether it means having affairs, hiring thugs, or doing anything like that. She’s an effective villain even if she isn’t nearly as entertaining as the first ones. The corporate angle also appears a little less than in the first film but you still have the fun commercials and OCP just generally showing that they will cross any line to achieve their objective. That’s the kind of dedication among the villains that you need to see.

Cain is the main gangster even if I would argue the kid has a bigger role. There isn’t a lot to him though beyond just being a mean gangster. He makes the guy from film 1 look like a mastermind. Therein lies the problem here, every single part of this film is a downgrade from the first around the board. It even reuses some ideas like having RoboCop brainwashed again. Lets just say it won’t be the last time either. It’s why I would never want to be a robot since there are so many ways things can go sideways. It’s also bad when the company that created you is an evil one.

The kid is annoying as the villain and I would have liked the film to have moved forward and tried something different instead of just having the same kind of plot and nerfing RoboCop to make it work. A normal gang should not pose any kind of threat to RoboCop but of course it does since he is so slow and has no battle experience. It seems like he lost a lot of intelligence between films as well given how he falls for every trap. I would expect him to be able to carry himself way better than he does here.

The worst thing you can say about the film is that some scenes can almost be boring by the end. RoboCop gets to finally look decent by the end which is all well and good but it’s more of a consolation prize by that point. He’s looked so bad throughout the film that it’s just too late. Even the fact that he gets traumatized by the villains is odd. I know he can still feel things but getting traumatized by the shocks is a bit much. OCP’s local representative (Now he’s a fun character) isn’t exactly very helpful with this but the heroes shouldn’t need OCP for this. The first thing the heroes need to do is deactivate RoboCop’s pain sensors for next time unless OCP stops them.

Overall, RoboCop 2 is a big downgrade from the first film. It can still be fun at times and have good action scenes but for the most part it’s all about showing you how annoying it would be to become RoboCop. You have no control over yourself and would get crushed in every fight. Having the kid as a villain was really the last straw for the film. It’s bad enough for RoboCop to keep losing but it feels like he learns nothing from each encounter. Needless to say, things continue to happen to him in the third film which just shows that there was no lesson learned here. Lets not get ahead of ourselves though, that review will be next. I’d say you can safely skip this film but if you liked the first one a whole lot then you may as well check it out.

Overall 5/10

Outbreak Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Time for a look at a film involving helicopter battles and a race to stop a deadly virus from destroying the entire planet. Films about outbreaks usually start off on the backfoot since you can expect a lot of rather gross imagery from the infected and probable animal experiments until they get the formula right. Still, if the film can get past that then the sky is the limit.

The movie starts with showing us how a village was completely wiped out by a powerful virus. That was nearly the end of it but then in the present the virus has returned. It attacks a village and manages to take most of the villagers down. Sam and his team try to get some research but after they leave the place ends up getting bombed to avoid any evidence from getting out. The bombs were not big enough though and the monkey escapes via some illegal animal capturing. The Monkey lands a quick slash on a few people and escapes again. The virus is now spreading fast and Sam wants to work on a cure but the government seems oddly hesitant to do anything about this. What are they hiding?

Outbreak straddles the line between being a conspiracy title where the government is trying to murder everyone (I definitely like to think we wouldn’t quickly just bomb a whole village) and a horror film where the virus is always one step ahead of the humans. Just when they get close to stopping it, it mutates into a new strain and runs off. It’s an opportune time to check this film out right now to see all of the parallels. One thing you have to say for the film is that the writing is on point. Sure the Helicopter battle may be a little dramatic but aside from that you could rename the virus to Covid and almost re-release this as a new film.

Sam is a decent main character as well. I mean, he’s not going to be shaking up your world or anything but he plays the role well and does his best to help out at all times. He may be getting stonewalled by the government but he keeps on trying even if it means disobeying orders. He’s really determined throughout the film and never loses his resolve.

Then you have his ex-wife Roberta who is trying her best as well. She sends Sam the information he needs and also takes a lot of risks on the front lines as she tries to help in developing the cure. Salt is a newcomer to the force who looks pretty bad at first but he does look solid by the end. I was definitely not impressed initially but when push came to shove he stepped up. He did a great job of flying the helicopter at the end.

I liked Sam’s best friend Casey as well. Casey really was a pro at this as well and was really the only person who could tell Sam to calm down at times. Not just anyone could do that and he was also quick to defend Sam or help him out discreetly like when the lead didn’t realize that his suit had a tear in it.

Then you have the two higher ups in the government. First is Ford who is one of the guys hiding a lot of information. He’s more interested in covering himself than in actually stopping the virus initially. Now, he is placed in a tough position and eventually he starts doing the right things but it does take him a while to come around.

McClintock is even more stubborn about this though and ends up being a full antagonist willing to murder other U.S. citizens just to bury his secret. He’s certainly not the kind of guy you want to have a boss but he makes for a good villain. The guy talks tough and has a ton of confidence which are both traits that you always want to see in the villain. This guy doesn’t even hesitate when trying to shoot everyone down.

So we’ve got good characters and a solid cast as well. The pacing is on point and you’ll certainly be engaged throughout. The writing is good and the film really takes its time explaining the threat and how this virus needs to be stopped. I also did enjoy the final action scene. It gave the film an explosive climax the way you’d like in these things.

My only real issue is of course with a virus naturally you’re going to see a lot of people really deteriorating as the virus travels through them. That means that the bodies aren’t always pleasant. Then you have characters puking and all. I was really worried at one point because it seemed like a monkey was about to die but fortunately that wasn’t the case. The film took the high road there which was great.

So Outbreak is a solid movie but it’s one that doesn’t have a whole lot of replay value. You’ll watch it once and enjoy it well enough but the slow pacing to show off the virus also means that watching it a second time feels out of the question. So I’d say it sort of ranks right in the middle.

Overall, If you want to watch a scenario of what if a virus showed up to threaten the world then this is a good flick to check out. You’ll see all of the different reactions to it in the film. One of the funnier scenes is when the government throws a big party and Sam is not exactly known for his low voice so Ford has to keep pulling him to the side so that nobody hears about the impending doom. After all at a party that’s probably the last thing they want to hear. The overall message at the end of the film is really that the government needs to crack down on the animal poachers and that’ll stop viruses from spreading all around. The poachers ended up dying anyway since they were at ground 0, but ideally you want to stop the situation from happening at all.

Overall 5/10

The Spirit Review

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The Spirit is definitely a very unique movie that’s for sure. It really does walk a fine line between being a total comedy with how over the top everything is and a serious action film. In the end the film actually does blend this combo over very well for nearly all of its screen time but ends up faltering near the end. I knew things were about to get dicey when the cat showed up….

The movie starts with the Spirit being called in since there was a sighting of his arch nemesis, the Octopus. The Octopus manages to murder someone real quick and steal a suitcase first but Sand escapes with the other Suitcase. Octopus crushes the Spirit and now the hero must figure out a way to catch the guy. What is the Octopus doing and how can he be stopped? The Octopus hinted that he knows something about the Spirit’s immortality and Spirit’s old flame Sand is involves so he really has to see this through to the end.

Spirit is definitely a movie that is bonkers and isn’t afraid to really get out there. The first moment I knew something was up was when the Spirit and Octopus have their confrontation mere minutes after the film began. Usually the hero can’t meet the villain that quickly. Then as their fight escalates you can tell that neither one is a normal human because they are taking some really crazy attacks. They seem to murder each other several times during the fight.

Well, Spirit and Octopus both appear to be immortal. Not in an eternal life kind of way but in a “We can’t be killed way”. That actually ties into Octopus’ plans which is to use a serum which will actually give him eternal life. Sand has the vase though so she’s in danger now. It’s quite a lot of plot here and that’s not even accounting for Spirit’s origin story. It’s a fun dynamic though as apparently the hero and villain will often spend a whole night beating each other up only to walk away when it’s all over.

It’s not like they’re pals or anything but they do seem to joke around a bit. They both know that they can’t destroy the other so I can see how the futile nature of their fights would become humorous to them. Octopus definitely seems to have better fighting abilities than the Spirit though. I’d argue he had the edge for the majority of their fight with ease.

Where the Spirit really shines is with the color palette. The movie uses a lot of very interesting visual styles and I would consider it a total hit. This was extremely unique and actually worked out. It’s not one of those gimmicks that you’ll shake your head at but one you will give the thumbs up right away. Not only does it make the Spirit look mysterious but it gives the whole film a pretty epic air. When characters talk to each other the backgrounds will often disappear.

You have characters fading into the light or into the darkness. Even Sand showing up from the water is a very ominous scene. The most every day normal scenes will look different like this and it really does work quite well. It captures that Noir feeling as well. Mix in the Spirit’s numerous monologues and you’ve really got something going here. It helps with the film’s dramatic atmosphere.

As mentioned though, it gets so dramatic that I have to see a lot of these moments as comedic ones. Spirit loves talking about the city and his past. While that is a staple of the Noir genre, you just can’t help but feel like the movie is parodying it. Something about the way the Spirit is having his conversations just gives you that feeling. Then of course for the comedic moments you have most of the Octopus scenes. He’s dressed up as a different culture each tie he appears and the guy is always messing around. He never seems to take anything seriously and murders his henchmen on the regular.

This is definitely some dark humor but the henchmen aren’t smart enough to do anything except what they’re told. So for example one of them even murders himself because the villain told him to do so. It’s certainly tragic to be one of those henchmen that’s for sure. Another gets blended which was a really intense scene to be sure. So the film has its dark moments thrown in as well, mainly as dark humor.

Now, where does the film go wrong? Well, as you can guess with the cat, we get some animal violence as the Octopus shows off his latest conquest to the Spirit. He can melt anything by using the special blood/serum that he wanted although it would simply power the Spirit up so that guy needs to try and grab it. He should have used it on the henchmen instead of on the cat though. That would have been a lot better.

So the film instantly lost a pair of stars for that. Meanwhile the film is trying to make the Spirit a parody of James Bond to an extent. I definitely don’t remember this trait in the comics but he seems to fall in love with every girl out there. Spirit seems to believe that every lady in the city is fair game so he openly has affairs with all of them. Fortunately for him every girl loves him as well so it’s quite easy to make this happen. We do have two main heroines here who both like him as well and he’s not shy about still making moves in front of him.

So the Spirit isn’t exactly the most heroic guy. Even ignoring that, he doesn’t have the best relationship with the cops. He’s always on edge and even threatens to punch out the chief without any good reason. The cops have a point that the Spirit is really running a one man show and the cops who accompany him all get murdered so naturally there would be some bad blood here. It’s hard to get a read on the Spirit. He’s a fun guy to be sure but I definitely wouldn’t call him very heroic. He seems extremely unhinged.

The Octopus is certainly a fun character. He is definitely a villain as seen with the cat but at least the guy has concrete goals. I’m not sure if having eternal life is the automatic win card that he thinks it is, but I suppose it doesn’t hurt to live longer since he is already fairly tough to beat. He reminds me a bit of the Joker with how crazy he is the whole time.

His right hand woman Floss also does a good job of keeping him on track. If he starts to go off the deep end then she reminds him of what was going on. To an extent she doesn’t always seem to be thrilled to have him as leader though so he should probably watch his back. That said, I guess by the end she still seems loyal enough.

As for Sand, I wasn’t a fan. In the flashbacks she already seemed quite obsessed with jewels and this didn’t change when she got older. In a way she’s like Catwoman only much more violent as she actively murders a lot of people in order to get what she wants. I was surprised at just how brutal she can be. I figured the movie was going to play her out as more of a misunderstood character but it actually went all the way as a villain.

We’ve also got Ellen who liked the Spirit but still gets jealous when he has other affairs. That’s why I don’t see the relationship ever working out. Either she is okay with being cheated on the whole time or she is going to need to find someone else. The Spirit doesn’t seem like the loyal sort after all.

In fact, there’s a pretty intense scene where the villains use that against him. He can’t resist any girl and one of the villains is a lady so you can picture how that goes. He just goes down like such a chump that you can’t help but laugh. This is the hero who is supposed to protect us? Okay….yeah that’s not going to end very well. The Spirit definitely has his priorities…too bad they aren’t the right ones.

Overall, The Spirit is a very different kind of action film. It’s really all over the place and in a lot of ways this works out. It’s really unpredictable and I loved what they did with the visual directing. The whole thing has a comic book/noir approach that nobody else has really used before. It’s a shame that the Spirit himself wasn’t a little better at being a hero but his inner monologues are a blast. If you can get around the cat melting scene then this is definitely a film you’ll have a lot of fun with. I’d definitely be up for a sequel coming out at some point since there’s a lot of potential here. That said, I think it would be difficult to capture the same energy twice so maybe it’s best to not even try.

Overall 5/10