Category Archives: Reviews

F-Zero Climax Review

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It’s time for a classic F-Zero title although I would say this one feels a little more barebones next to GP Legend. It jumps you right into the game but really the only thing to do is play through the stages for a little while before you start to get bored. Now the racing gameplay is good but for F-Zero you are expecting a little more. Perhaps that is unreasonable since a number of the games are just purely racing titles without a big story in-game but it would have been cool to have had a little more depth. Either way it’s a fun time though.

I figured I would switch things up here a bit so I played Captain Falcon for the first tournament and then started switching it up. Only problem is I don’t remember who I played after him. Pico maybe? I know I looked for Skull and didn’t see him so I had to pivot quickly. The game itself is definitely very short though. After you play through the 3 tournaments, the credits start rolling so that’s about it. I have to assume that there are more secret stages out there though. I remember how in F-Zero GX about half of the cups were hidden and as a kid it was a blast unlocking them all. I have to assume that Climax probably functions in a very similar way with that although I suppose I don’t really know that for sure.

You still have the iconic spin move that the series is famous for so I had a blast knocking opponents off the ring. Boosting was very risky in this title though because you move so quickly that you can easily just fall off the stage entirely. Definitely something you should be careful of if you can help it. At the same time, you won’t reach the top spot without it so just try and learn the stages. I didn’t play long enough to truly master any of the levels but I imagine you could definitely do that before long. My average placings weren’t great here.

It definitely continues to be the harder alternative to Mario Kart. The stages really take time to master and of course the opponents also just keep coming. There are plenty of places to fall off the stage and you can also be directly blown up by the opponents which instantly takes you to last place. It’s a very unrelenting game in every respect so you must not take it lightly at all. There is also time attack mode so I should mention that as another way to have some fun. Try and beat your existing records to really see just how good you are. In a lot of ways this is really the right mode to start with as you hone your skills before getting into the battles.

Once you have a full grasp on exactly how the controls work, then you will really be in shape to do well. At least that’s the way I see it and while it may feel a little weird at first, racing games are the kind where you very quickly adapt. It may feel hard but after a few races you unconsciously start to turn with the right timing. So don’t give up and you will be leaving the CPU in the dust before long. I would also say as tempting as the spinning is, you should keep it to a minimum. It’s very hard to actually destroy an enemy vehicle and it takes up time to spin so every time you miss it’s rather rough. It’s probably not something that you should be completely spamming. Wait until you’re super good at the timing and then use it strategically.

There’s not a whole lot more to say about the game because it’s so basic though. This is exactly why you want to have a story mode since that is the ultimate cover up for any title. It can mask just about anything because the story will end up being memorable. It will end up being something that pushes you forward and you will have more incentive to clear every race if it takes you to the next stage. Even a super lazy text box only story will give you incentive that you just wouldn’t have otherwise and that’s why it can be a game changer.

Overall, F-Zero Climax is a good game. I think it could have been better but I suppose for its time it wasn’t bad. I cut it a little less slack though because by the GBA days I feel like games were advanced enough to really have full stories and such like that. I don’t think it would end up being an unreasonable ask at that point right? The character roster is rather small and likewise for the stage count although I assume there are more out there. It just doesn’t feel like you get a ton of bang for your buck with this title, especially when Mario Kart is also on the GBA with all of the usual bells and whistles. If you have the Switch Online then you should check this out but otherwise give it a skip.

Overall 6/10

A Little to the Left Review

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It’s time for a puzzle game and you know those can be very hit or miss for me. For these types of games I either want a good story or I want something that’s just a lot of fun and really addictive like gem matching. That’s where it’s at but this game unfortunately doesn’t seem to have either. There are a lot of levels so I can’t knock the game in terms of content but the puzzles themselves really aren’t very fun to play and that’s really a big deal. Ultimately I would even say that it’s a game breaking deal.

There isn’t really any kind of preview of build up when you start the game. You are thrown right into the mix. The puzzles are divided into around 5 chapters. Each chapter has over 20 puzzles and you try to solve them until you win. If you are totally stuck you can ask for a hint or skip the puzzle and return to it for later. The puzzles are generally about organizing things. For example, putting everything into a basket, lining up books from smallest to largest, etc. You’re mainly going things like this until you get to the end of the game. As you go on, the puzzles naturally get a lot tougher to figure out.

The toughest part here is that outside of asking for a hint, you are given no context to the puzzles whatsoever. You have to try and use deductive reasoning here which is an interesting idea in concept, but I don’t think it really works. I would like to at least have a basic idea of what I’m doing here. Some are self explanatory like with the books as you try to sort them from smallest to largest. Others are a lot trickier like where you have 3 paintings. It seem like you have to try and tilt them a little but I don’t get the logic of that one and the tilts didn’t seem to stick. I should mention now that there is also no tutorial on how the controls work.

You are just thrown into the mix and have to try and work it out. Again this could work depending on how the puzzle goes but this game was definitely not up to the task. I think one of the reasons for this is also how silent the game is. It could have really used a hype soundtrack. Even just 4-5 different songs that cycle through would add a whole lot of life to the game. Without that, it just ends up being completely forgotten and you will have soon left it in the dust. The fact that it’s not free by default was also a bit surprising for me.

Sometimes games just don’t click though and that’s just how it goes. Believe it or not I’ve still played worse games than this one. As negative as this one sounds, at least it is a very basic title that manages your expectations right from the jump. It could absolutely be wayyyyy worse than that. I guess if there was ever a sequel to this one, I would say it should add some kind of a basic plot even if it’s only through text. Maybe every puzzle you complete lets you learn about 2 paragraphs worth of new information. Some kind of hook right?

I’m not sure if there’s a post game here but with the large amount of puzzles the game has, it is already plenty long. It’s hard to picture anyone just flying by the game because of how varied the puzzles are. There will surely be some of them mixed in there that will give you a little trouble here and there. Those are the ones that you will definitely need to watch out for and while you can skip them, I assume you need to complete all puzzles to truly complete the game. Not that there is likely to be any kind of story ending though but maybe they did sneak a secret cutscene in at the end. Technically speaking, there’s no reason to assume that would be impossible right?

Overall, A Little to the Left is not a game I would recommend. There’s just not enough detail to it so it really ends up holding itself back. The controls are pretty simple yet sometimes not very intuitive. I could see this working as a mobile game between subway stations to buy yourself some time but as a full fledged video game I don’t see there being many reasons to pick this over something else. At least for people who really do enjoy the game, there is a lot to do here. For everyone else, yeah it’s time to go back to Professor Layton or something like that instead for the quality puzzle gameplay. That also has the added benefit of having a full fledged story mode with it as well. How do you top that?

Overall 3/10

The Legendary Starfy 3 Review

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Starfy returns for some more hype in this last installment from the Switch Online. It continues to operate at a high level and show that even platformers can have a deep plot as needed. Unfortunately none of it is translated so it is left up to your imagination on just what is going on. The cutscenes are clear enough but it would have been really nice to know exactly what was happening. Hopefully Nintendo decides to translate this one day for future gamers although alas it would be too late for me since it’s rare to have enough time to really replay any game. There are always new titles on the horizon to check out instead after all!

The plot basically loops again as the main villain escapes except this time he is working for a powerful cosmic lord. This guy holds all the cards and may be the strongest threat that Starfy has ever encountered. He will need the help of his friends even more than usual. This is also the first time that you have a secondary main character in the pink star. I think that’s his sister but it could be his best friend. It’s hard to say without the translations… but it’s an interesting gameplay mechanic. She is limited to the abilities he had in the first game so it’s almost like a classic mode. A lot of levels will have you shifting between character several times to unlock switches and then they meet up in the end.

The formula for the levels is pretty solid. You basically have 2 acts and then a boss in each world. There are 10 worlds which is definitely a very good amount. As you can immediately tell, the level count is far shossssssssrter than the second game but the fact of the matter is that it still excels far above the average platformer. So that’s pretty impressive all the way. The levels have a lot of variety to them and each world has a fun theme. You can’t really cheese the levels by gliding but the abilities still take you very far. The levels tend to be more straight forward than in previous games. You won’t get lost at all which is great. There will be times when the levels can even be reasonably difficult so it’s not a game that you can beat while keeping your eyes closed.

The graphics are also good as always. The bright and colorful artstyle really works well for the game. It’s the kind of style that will always age well which is why I encourage games to use it. A live action-esque title will get dated much quicker than one that is so fantastical like this. The soundtrack is decent although that’s one area where the game could stand to use a little improvement. You aren’t likely to remember any of the tunes all that well by the time you complete the game. They’re not bad or anything but making them a little more memorable would have absolutely been a good idea.

Meanwhile the different gameplay styles were all good which was a plus since the animal summons would be an easy way for a game to mess up. The horse is plenty fast so it’s a nice change of pace, the pogo stick has well thought out mechanics, etc. It’s clear that the whole game got a lot of polish and not just the main gameplay style which is definitely not something that you can say for just any game. The fact that this one can say that is definitely something worth remembering.

I will also give kudos to the boss fights like with the first two games. Each boss has a different moveset and you have to beat them in original ways. There is a boss in every world so that’s 10 different bosses without any reskins or clones. That is good and a lot of games could learn from its example. In a platformer, one of the best parts are the boss fights after all. They do a good job of shaking things up from the levels after all and in general are just a lot of fun. This game never forgets that and even gets pretty hype for the final boss. Things really go cosmic in scale.

For those of you who are playing this for the first time, my main gameplay advice would be to always hold down the run button. Every platforming challenge is easier when you have a running start and it gives you just a little bit of an extra boost which is extremely handy. Without that then you’ll be falling a lot. The button can be rather sensitive on the Switch though so definitely be prepared for some early deaths that will feel like they would have otherwise been rather preventable but that’s what the rewind button is for.

Overall, Starfy 3 is definitely a very good game. I had a fun time with it and there is a lot of value to this title. Not a lot of replay value as there isn’t really a post game but not every game need a post story. It would be nice to have but as long as the main campaign is long then that’s all that matters. That’s the part that you’d be spending the most time on anyway. If you have the Switch Online then you should definitely check this one out. It’s not a title that you should miss out on.

Overall 7/10

Something Wicked This Way Comes Review

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It’s time for another story about resisting temptation because the short term fun will quickly be taken over by something grim. It’s a pretty interesting concept but one that is slightly wasted by this film. I like the idea of someone sinister showing up in a small town and granting everyone’s wishes at a great cost. It’s just hard to really get the full scope of this when the main characters are kids so they can’t really do much about this. It would be a lot more effective otherwise. Still, it’s not a bad film.

The movie starts by introducing us to Will and Jim who have gotten in trouble at school again. It’s not easy for these two kids to live in such a boring town. There’s really just nothing to do except cause trouble at this point. Everyone in town has some issues that they deal with, one one guy missing an arm, one lady being really old, etc. Still, people do the best that they can. One day a strange old guy shows up and gives one of the kids a lightning rod. Seems like a dangerous thing to have at home, but eh the price was pretty good. Everything changes when a mysterious circus/carnival comes into town led by Mr. Dark. His shady name is already an indicator of things to come. He seems to have the ability to make your wish come true. The price? Well, he’ll come to collect that in short order.

Naturally you’d think it would be easy to just say no to the guy and run off but honestly Dark is rather smart about how he handles this. He’s not just cackling on a throne telling people to give up their immortal souls. He just strolls around and creates miracles in a rather low key way. It’s one of the few times I don’t totally blame the random locals for falling into his traps. On the surface the guy doesn’t seem all that crazy although the miracles are a red flag but it’s almost all like one big dream.

The character I do blame for this? Jim. Jim knows what is going on to a much larger degree than the others and yet he really wants Mr. Dark to grant his wish to become older. He is jealous of being a few hours or days younger than Will. That has to be one of the most petty things I’ve heard in quite some time now. He’s also quite ready to beat up Will over this despite the two of them being close friends. I thought that was really crazy! You don’t just betray your best friend on a whim like that. I couldn’t look at him the same after that.

In comparison, Tom had it rough because the guy was actually tortured by Dark for information. This guy never cracked no matter what he was put through. This is where the more interesting plot is at play with what’s going on here. The battle happening in the shadows so to speak so it is annoying when we have to continue following the kids who are out of their depth. There’s probably a TV trope for this but it’s when you are following the B plot while the A plot happens in the background. I feel like there’s a whole other movie in here that we are completely missing out on because the kids can’t handle what is going on.

They’re also way too passive like when one of the guys is de-aged to a kid and is pretending to be the teacher’s nephew. Maybe you don’t tell the teacher because she has no reason to believe you but you definitely handle the kid. Instead they ran off like chickens which was not a good move at all. Charles at least does good since he’s the only grown up to really be in the mix the whole time but the problem is that he’s really old. He can’t hold his own in a fight and at best is able to talk tough verbally to Mr. Dark. I still give him credit for that at least.

I don’t really have many issues with the film but the problem is that the one issue I do have is a pretty big one. The film can just be a little bit on the boring side. We see the process of everyone in town getting their wishes granted and all but after that we are missing out on most of the action because the kids can’t handle it. It feels like a strong opening without much of a payoff. The climax is decent but with adult or even teenage main characters you could have squeezed in a whole lot more action. I’d like to see a reimagining of this film some day because I definitely see the potential.

I’ll throw you out an idea right here, make Tom the main character next time. Lets explore more of what he knows about this and his ultimate plan about it. You could even choose to make a prequel instead. Usually I’m against that but in this case it could really work and I think it would instantly be more exciting than this film. Just something to think about but it would solve the protagonists issue right out of the gate.

Overall, Something Wicked This Way Comes is a very interesting film where the payoff doesn’t quite match up. The title is certainly a descriptive one and makes sense for the movie. The setting and backdrop is all there as well as a solid atmosphere. The decision to have the two main characters be kids is ultimately what buried this one though. You need leads who can fight, not kids who will just stay in the back the whole time getting dominated. I suppose kids need some stories where they can see protagonists their own age running around but it doesn’t really do anything for me. If you are really in the mood for a fantasy title and have seen most of the others already then you should check this one out. Otherwise, there are far better ones out there that you should watch instead.

Overall 5/10

Sonic Dash Review

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It’s time for another Sonic mobile game. It’s really impressive just how much mileage Sega has gotten out of the Dash series. You’ve got the Sonic Forces version, Sonic Boom, Sonic Prime (Which I haven’t played yet) and of course this one as the main version. I think there is even a premium version on Apple Arcade. Well, I can safely say that this might be the best out of the main Dash titles. It’s a lot of fun and has a great deal of characters although from what I’ve heard it used to be even better before a recent update that happened several months ago. Well, I never got to know what the old version was like so in a way I suppose it doesn’t affect me as much.

Basically the concept is that you are always running. You keep on running in a straight line until you lose. You lose by falling into a pit, bumping into something, or getting hit by enemies when you have 0 coins. Otherwise you can theoretically play for hours since you won’t die, but the game is reasonably difficult so that’s hard to picture. You can change which aisle you are in while running as well as jumping up and sliding down. The controls are basic which is the point here. You also gain different items as you are playing like temporarily doubling your score or a magnet that pulls in nearby items. Both power ups are super handy so grab every item you can find. Every enemy you defeat also awards you little animals that you can use to unlock more maps which helps you get red coins and characters.

As you level up, you start with higher score multipliers. For example if you are level 15 then you earn points at 15X the normal speed. Some people are already at level 200+ so their scores are absolutely crazy by this point. It’s a pretty fun way to incentivize you to keep on playing more and more so that you can build up high scores like that. Your levels are easy to increase since just about every action increases them. Powering up your fighters, completing daily missions, etc.

As an endless runner there is endless content to be had here. You can just keep on playing. Some things are limited per day like red ring prizes and daily missions but you can always keep on getting cards (which unlock characters and let you power them up) and coins which are needed for pretty much everything. You will see cards on the course as you run through and you get more by doing tricks in the sky as well. During special events, some character cards will show up more often than others. For example I joined during a Super Shadow event so I unlocked him and then an Infinite/Mephiles event started so I unlocked those guys.

I unlocked 20 characters during my short stint with the game so you unlock them pretty quickly. I think there’s something like 100 characters in the game though so it would take a while to unlock them all. Generally speaking I like the way you unlock characters though so that seems fun. I have heard that one downside is you will eventually start earning cards for characters you have maxed out which sounds annoying. If you ask me those should be removed from the pool so that sounds really odd. Ah well, I can’t verify that anyway.

The graphics are definitely pretty sharp here. The character models are really clear and the stages are vibrant. Sometimes it can be hard to dodge an obstacle because a card is in the way which is a slight pet peeve but on the whole, as expected the game really does look quite nice. Meanwhile the soundtrack is also good. A bit limited but the Sonic music is clear and as always it’s pretty energetic so it works well in an endless runner. I already spoke about the unlimited replay value so you don’t have to worry about that.

It does have one of my big annoyances though which is a mandatory video ad every time you lose in a stage. The reason it isn’t game breaking though is apparently the game doesn’t have as many advertisers now. So as you’re playing, you’ll notice very quickly that the ads stop popping up and if you try to click on one, it says that there are no more ads available to view. So that’s pretty cool, then the gameplay really does become quite seamless. You can also permanently remove ads by buying anything in the shop, so maybe the $1 coins bundle but of course I don’t spend money on mobile games. Pokemon Go was the one exception to that.

Sonic Dash is hardly perfect, but I would say it is a very good open runner. The menus are all very clear and your objectives are also easy to understand. The game completely understands what it is here to do and isn’t trying to trick the player. What you see is what you get and I like that about the game. I do tend to enjoy open runners quite a lot. None of them have matched up to Miraculous which has the best game in this genre but Sonic gives it a good fight. Now all I need is an open runner with some kind of story mode and I would really be set! Surely they’ll come up with something like that eventually.

Overall, It’s time for another app game to be uninstalled but this was a pretty fun one while it lasted. I can definitely say that Sega knows what it is doing with these titles. Sonic Dash had a lot of heart to it and quickly becomes very addicting. If you are looking for a game to play for a long while then this is definitely the one for you. Hopefully they announce a new Sonic mobile game at some point, I’ll definitely be there. In the meantime, it’s back to Pokemon Go being the center of attention as per usual.

Overall 7/10

Night Swim Review

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It’s time for a film about the horrors of swimming pools. I’ve got to admit that the premise does make you smirk a bit. Hey, with the right directing you can probably make anything scary, but why pick a swimming pool? That doesn’t seem like a great idea and in the end it didn’t really work out. It does beat some other horror films to be sure but it’s not going to be an all star hit or anything like that. No sirrrrrrrrr.

So the movie starts with a little kid swimming in the pool when a monster drags her under and she dies. We fast forward to the present where a family is moving in. Ray was a big baseball player but an injury forced him to leave the game for a while. His doctor recommended water therapy and so having a pool is a big help. It’s begun to heal his injuries really rapidly, abnormally so. Unfortunately weird stuff continue to happen with the pool and Ray is also acting erratically…almost as if he is possessed. Is the pool to blame or is something else going on here?

The pool demon is fortunately not all that tough though. Basically it can control water, using it to choke you or teleport within it and try to physically overpower you. It’s not all that tough and has low stamina so you can usually overpower it. The things that are tougher to get around is when it launches a sneak attack by making you trip using the water or by spilling glass everywhere. If you drink the water or let any of it go inside an open wound, then you’re basically dead at that point. So it has weaknesses at least but it’s still hard to get around since the pool water connects to the foundations beneath and so it can spread to a lot of water sources from there. You definitely want to watch out.

It appears to be a demon that revels in turning people against each other. For example, making a deal to save one of your kids if you sacrifice another one kind of thing. Aside from the fact that making a deal with a demon is always a bad idea, naturally this also only works if you actually trust the demon and why would you right? Also, sacrificing anyone is crazy right out of the gate. One character makes a deal in a flashback and that definitely didn’t go well. It shows just how evil some characters really are.

For a horror film, this one actually isn’t super violent at least. Some characters get sharp wounds and there is blood but it’s not all that excessive. So I would say it is fairly tame all things considered. If you are afraid of drowning then of course those scenes will be a lot more tense. It is definitely one of the worst ways to go so you can feel their fear there. The thing is, the film still had a hard time really keeping up the tension here. The movie just feels really slow paced with how long it takes for things to happen.

The shapeshifting water monster is also just not that impressive. A better core design would have been a good idea there. Also, the main characters are okay at best. The two kids Izzy and Elliot don’t really have anything going for them here. Eve at least has a fairly big role here as she keeps noticing weird things going on with the pool. Ultimately it’s one of those things where she isn’t really able to prove anything about it for quite a while but she’s sort of playing the detective here. Gathering the clues and learning about the shady history from the neighbors so that we have the answers for the ending. She is proactive about trying to stop the monster though and gets points there.

Ray loses the points for the most part here since he is constantly losing to his dark impulses. The monster takes him over rather easily and has him mind controlled for large parts of the film. I will always take shots at a character who is manipulated this easily, particularly when it is against his own family. You just can’t let that happen, at the end of the day your biggest duty is to protect your family and so if you can’t do that then it’s over. He should have found some way to keep on going or at least get away from the pool. The fact that he couldn’t is a big knock against him.

The rest of the town was pretty reasonable at least. The one family didn’t press charges despite Ray acting pretty crazy and the Baseball team seemed fun. I could have had fun seeing more practices and sports happening. There is a mild romance plot with Izzy that feels completely pointless though. The whole marco polo scare sequence was really stretched out and it’s a huge suspension of disbelief. When someone’s not playing the game properly then you just end it. You don’t keep your eyes closed and just wait forever. Also, how could she not tell that his voice dropped so hard into a deep, mysterious voice? The monster sounded nothing like him and yet she could not tell the difference at all. If it was meant to sound like him and that was just for the movie audience then that’s not particularly good writing on the film’s part.

The characters definitely don’t make the smartest moves here at all. Also, the scene where Ray nearly drowns the one kid by not moving is also super weird because he was just playing a game with another family. The pool is also absolutely packed with a ton of people in it. It’s a big pool, but it’s not huge. How did nobody notice until it was so late? A guy who wasn’t even in the pool was the first to jump in and help out which is crazy. At most you would have needed to show the monster was using reality warping to move everyone away or something. Some weird time displacement but that isn’t implied so it just seems like a weird issue. This film definitely wasn’t always focused on the writing that’s for sure.

Overall, I think this film probably would have been more interesting without the horror stuff. Remove the monster and just make it a movie about Ray rehabilitating his injury and coming to terms with the fact that he isn’t a top player anymore. Along the way Izzy would learn not to be having shady relationships in secret and Ray’s son would learn how to gain some confidence in playing Baseball because none of those mild subplots really went anywhere in this film. It feels like there would have been enough content for a slice of life movie like that instead of all the generic monster stuff.

Overall 4/10

Silver Bullet Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Werewolf movie! Uh oh, these don’t tend to be all that good most of the time and I’m afraid this title is no exception. You’re rather limited in what you can do with this kind of plot and the movie doesn’t really try and branch out. Everyone is systematically taken down and crushed by the rampaging beast while the heroes try to find a way to overpower it. It won’t be easy though since two of them are kids and the adult tends to be drunk most of the time. Not the strongest trio to save the day.

The film opens up by introducing us to a small town that is quite happy. Everyone gets along and it tends to be rather peaceful around here. Crime just doesn’t happen and when one person is destroyed, they assume it must have been an accident. When two more people get bumped off, they figure there’s a crazy killer on the loose. The problem is that the bodies continue to pile up and there are no real leads. Marty suggests that it could be a werewolf but his uncle Red doesn’t take him all that seriously. Still, Red has decided to protect his family and prepares himself with a silver bullet. Between the actual bullet and Marty’s wheelchair which is also known as the silver bullet, they can defeat any form of evil that appears to cause any trouble.

One of the ways the film immediately tries to lose points by is making the whole cast pretty unlikable. Most of the characters who were bumped off at the beginning are rather unlikable like the bully kid and the alcoholic guy. Then you have someone who was in a scandal because she had an affair with someone. I don’t remember the guard doing anything shifty at the beginning though so that was tough luck. Then among the survivors, well Red is definitely not a great role model so it’s not like he’s going to be a great character. You can’t put him in the same conversation as the others but he still could have been better.

Marty means well but should have defended the heroine more from the pranks near the beginning of the film. It wasn’t really a good look for him and of course he is in a wheelchair so it’s not like he can move around as well as the other characters but I feel like he still could have done something here. At least he does well with the whole Werewolf issue. Marty knows how to drive around on his super wheelchair pretty well, he can even outrun several cars. That takes a lot of skill for a kid to pull this off and he makes it look easy.

The film’s tone isn’t quite as grim as you would expect even with everyone getting bumped off. I think I was expecting it to all be very serious but the film has its share of humor as well. The music randomly gets happy at times too and everything. It can be a little weird to be sure but it could have worked out if the film was better at that. Like throw in some puns and everything and make this part parody. That may have actually worked out better.

After all, this version still has a lot of violence so that isn’t going to help matters. The Werewolf takes a lot of injuries before going down and of course the victims all get brutal ends as well. I think the worst part here for them is that Werewolves are hardly all powerful. Even without a silver bullet you can at least wound and slow one down. The fact that they all panicked with their guns and didn’t shoot until it was too late was awful. The whole point of having a gun is so you can shoot it when the going gets tough. These guys absolutely fumbled the bag in every possible way here.

I would have liked to have seen more of the town meetings because to me that was the strongest part. Have them debate on how to handle this crisis. The sheriff tries talking against the whole community justice because it can get out of hand but in terms of the debate I would say he lost that one. He couldn’t really think of any reasons not to have it that would justify having the town wait on standby. There were already too many victims for that. I think what he should have done was to accept it, but coordinate who goes where himself. That would at least keep it controlled to a degree. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference against the Werewolf but that would have been my plan at least.

Also, the writing can be really dicey at times. So the main characters know that the werewolf will be targeting them in the climax. In fact, they know the exact day he will be attacking. So they barricade themselves at home and get ready. Then in the 11th hour, Red starts letting his guard down and even saying the kids should go to bed. He’s ready to fight them over it and doubts it when the girl says she saw a Werewolf. That was just crazy and it’s the kind of scene that would work well if this was a full on parody but we know it isn’t. So that was just bizarre, there’s no way you would even think of sending the kids to bed when the monster could be showing up any second now.

Overall, Silver Bullet is definitely not a good film. It’s a far cry from 1408 which was a whole lot more interesting from the King adaptions. This one is just super basic without anything really going for it. There are no characters that you really want to follow. The most interesting is probably the reverend and he doesn’t get a whole lot to do. The main characters could use a lot of work before they would really be all that likable. The film is definitely quite violent with everyone getting bumped off but lacks purpose beyond that. I would say to definitely skip this one and in general, continue to skip werewolf movies as they aren’t quite up to par yet. This one didn’t even bother with a big plot twist ending which was annoying.

Overall 2/10

From Beyond The Grave Review

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Uh oh it’s anthology time! That means we’re gonna be in for some terrible stories but hopefully some good ones to end up balancing things out. It can really end up being a close fight all the way through with this kind of title. Ultimately it loses the fight but I appreciate the end of the film having a little fun with the concept. It made for a better ending than most horror titles if I’m being 100% with you guys.

The story starts by showing us a shady store filled with antiques. The owner is an old man who can seem rather oblivious at times, but you shouldn’t let your guard down around him. In each story, someone shows up to the store to buy an antique while someone hangs around outside and never seems to want to go in as long as anyone else is in there. It’s a rather troubling situation for the guy but why does he want to go in so badly? The antiques in the store are extremely good quality but the prices are a tad high so the customers are always tempted to rip the owner off. That may be a bad idea though….

In the first story a guy decides to buy a mirror from the store. He haggles the owner into letting him buy it for cheap and figures it’ll look good at home. Unfortunately his friends want to do one of those creepy seance rituals and he agrees because for some reason people have no self preservation skills in these things. He wakes up the ghost of the mirror who has decided to go on a murder spree. This spirit craves blood and violence and so he commands the sap to go around murdering people. The main character has no real agency of his own and so he does this until the monster throws the chump into the mirror to repeat the cycle. It’s definitely the worst story so it’s an interesting way to start the anthology off. In a way maybe it’s actually good to lead off with the weakest and get better as you go on though.

Still, there is no shortage of issues with this one. For starters, the main guy crumbled way too easily. He doesn’t even consider breaking the mirror or just telling the spirit no. The spirit is probably commanding him because presumably it doesn’t have enough strength to do the job personally. In fact, that’s the whole point, that it needs blood to power up. So just resist him and break the mirror. This should be easy! Instead the whole special is just really annoying and you’ll be rolling your eyes the whole time. It’s rather dark with so many people being knifed and it takes a lot of blows for each victim to go down so it ends up being dragged out quite a bit. The fact that people just walk over to his apartment is crazy.

He does target the vulnerable for the most part but even then it is extremely not a good idea to go over to someone’s home when you don’t know them at all. This was basically like an old school slasher, all violence and no substance. Fortunately like I said, this is the weakest one so things do start to look a little better going forward. Huge emphasis on the little better part though because this next one is also brutal.

We follow a guy who is down on his luck. He married a girl who doesn’t respect him and his kid is also constantly picking fights and being super annoying. Not a very good combination at all and one day he decides to rob a blind man who was selling cigarettes. The guy seems to think highly of our main character though and so the lead lies about being a decorated military person. He goes to the antique’s shop and even steals a medal. Things are looking up and the blind man even has a daughter who seems to be attracted to the lead. His ego has now been restored and so he heads to the house to quickly begin cheating on his wife and succumbing to all of his worldly desires.

Naturally there is a cost to this, which is that the daughter is quite possessive and wants to murder his wife now. She is rather creepy and has every red flag in the book but the lead is quite used to this since he himself is one massive red flag. So he gives the okay and the cycle of violence continues, but what he doesn’t realize is that it will inevitably fall back to him eventually. You really don’t feel bad for him. Yeah his family was mean to him but the fact that he jumped right to stealing and cheating shows that he had no real moral compass of his own. He hasn’t really done much to be proud of and so perhaps there are things we haven’t seen to further explain why nobody gives him any respect. Either way it’s definitely a rather twisted story about bad deeds coming full circle with each other. It’s another rather violent segment as well so get ready for the brutal deaths here.

In the third special, a guy decides to switch the prices in the antiques shop to save money and mess over the owner. Feeling proud of himself, he heads back home but now there is a demon on his shoulder that is causing all kinds of trouble like even going off to try and murder his wife. He needs the help of a super expensive/shifty psychic but can she really deal with the problem? I’d say the biggest problem with this special is really just that it drags on a bit. The monster is invisible so most of the action can’t really be seen and the ritual for getting rid of the creature is a bit on the silly side. You’re just waiting for the characters to get with the program the whole time. I will say that the ending is probably the most effective out of the 4. It was definitely pretty sudden and yeah maybe a bit depressing but it worked. It definitely cleared the first two specials and reminds you why you should not steal. Your crimes will come back to you.

I think making the monster visible would have been a lot more interesting. Maybe like only the main guy could see it or something. That may have been tough on the special effects but it would have worked a lot better. Or make it visible to us but not to the characters, now that could be rather spooky as well. But completely invisible? Ehhhhh I don’t think that’s really the way to go at all.

Finally we have a story where a guy decides to buy a whole door from the antique shop. The door is pricey and the antique owner leaves the cash register open so it is tempting to take back the money. We don’t see the guy’s choice initially as he heads home. The problem is that the door is set to Narnia settings so opening it takes you to a whole new world. In that world, there is a powerful ghost who is trying to get out and he even make a move to kidnap the guy’s wife. He must now fight the ghost but is he mentally prepared to face such a powerful fighter? This special had some actual action which was pretty fun. The guy didn’t play the matchup very well but he wasn’t really given much prep time. I at least give him credit for jumping in and attacking instead of cowering or anything like that. Now that would have been rough.

This one had a good ending as well which shows the theme of the movie. If you resist temptation and don’t mess with the owner then you are okay. I do think the first one is a stretch though since the guy didn’t steal anything. Sure, he did some hard bartering and lowered the price but to me that’s not in the same category as the others. At most you could call it deceptive but he didn’t outright rob the guy. Still, good on the final main character for resisting the urge to save a buck. He did the right thing in the end.

Overall, As I mentioned, the ending beyond the 4 stories was really solid. Definitely good stuff all around and it’s definitely how you want to finish off a movie like this one. Unfortunately, the movie was still no good either way. Just too violent all the way around as it didn’t really hold back and most of the stories weren’t all that good. This is a horror title that I would not be able to recommend in the end. You’d be better off just watching some of the classic Gamera films instead. Anthologies continue to be more of a miss but ideally people will perfect the formula in the future at some point. It’s our only chance to save the genre.

Overall 3/10

A Quiet Place Part II Review

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You know that feeling when a movie has a really huge climax, bumps all the best characters off and has an ending that is just open/closed enough where you don’t need a sequel because you can fill in the blanks? But then they announce a sequel anyway? That’s basically this film and it sets it at a disadvantage right from the gate. How can they possibly hope to match the first film when the main guy was already bumped off. The short answer is that at least on the characters front they are completely unable to recover.

The sequel starts off with a flashback that shows how the main characters first met the aliens. They showed up out of nowhere and began terrorizing everybody. They were fast and just overwhelmed this small town. They may have a lot of weaknesses like sound and not being fully bullet proof but for a little spot they are still strong enough to dominate. I have major doubts about them being able to take over the world or anything like that but that’s for another time. It’s a pretty good flashback and I would actually say it is more interesting than the rest of the film. It reminds you of why the main character was solid and knew what to do. He didn’t hesitate at all and leapt right into action. That’s the true sign of a hero.

So in the present Evelyn, Regan, and Marcus are still trying to survive. They locate another survivor named Emmett and ask for shelter but he refuses since they will take up far too much resources and humanity is already on its last legs. They also have a baby around which makes things even worse since it needs oxygen and cries a lot. Unfortunately Regan overhears a signal and realizes she can find more survivors so she heads out without much of a plan or defenses. This forces Emmett to go after her. Meanwhile Marcus doesn’t really watch where he is going and gets wrecked quickly by a trap. He’ll be out of commission for most of the film and Evelyn has to watch out for him while worrying about Regan. What can they do?

With such a rag tag group of survivors I dare say they should have been taken out ages ago. They’re just an extremely loud bunch even if some of the events are stuff they could not have predicted like Marcus falling into a trap and Regan running off on her own. Yeah they’ve got the sound machine and a gun but these creatures move incredibly fast. You just get the feeling that they would have the edge in combat. We actually see the heroes beat a few of them and I was skeptical each time. The alien would generally slow down or miss when it shouldn’t have.

Now we know that the aliens do have a lot of weaknesses, sound, water, and generally any good weapon but even so, a bunch of kids aren’t going to do much here. I feel like the aliens were heavily nerfed in order to make the main characters look good and that’s a rather huge expense if you ask me. They just don’t have the same impact that they did in the first film and in the end that is something that often happens in sequels. I suppose it is unavoidable to an extent but can still be annoying.

As for the characters, I didn’t like Regan. I know that she meant well but her whole plan was completely irresponsible. Leaving without telling the others is super selfish because naturally they are going to have to go after her and put themselves in danger. Evelyn may be ready for action but she has a baby to worry about and Marcus who is still injured. They’re lucky that Emmett decided to help because he could have very well just left. Regan would have then been dead early on. The fact that things end up working out pretty well doesn’t retroactively make her plan good or anything like that. No, we still know that it was a bad plan and that is the big problem here.

Then I didn’t care much for Marcus either. He really just got in the way the whole time with all the yelling. Yeah it really hurts but this is a matter of life and death, you gotta stay strong. Also the first thing about being in a post apocalyptic world is that there is danger around every corner so you should be watching where you’re going. Locking himself in an air tight prison by mistake was also a really bad move. I won’t blame the baby too much for being annoying since there’s not much a baby can do though.

Evelyn was one of the only reasonable characters here. She’s at least trying her best to get through a tough situation. She has so many people to watch out for that she isn’t really able to stand out a whole lot but she doesn’t give up and that’s the important thing. Then we have Emmett who is also fairly reasonable. He’s one of those guys who talks really tough but ends up helping out in the end. There’s not a whole lot to say about him, I’d say the guy is very standard but hey that’s not a bad thing. Better to be generic than bad.

The film can be violent at times although not quite as violent as the last film. I would say it tends to move at a slower pace though and you do got for long portions of time without any real action. The movie’s biggest crime tends to be that it can just be a little boring here and there. Better characters would have done a world of good here but that’s just how the cookie crumbles in the end. I feel like the first film was a whole was a lot more engaging and did more with the premise but this one took a bit of a safer approach. Think of it as a stable ride while the other one was a roller coaster.

Overall, A Quiet Place Part II feels rather aimless for most of its journey. It’s just not as interesting as the first and we don’t really see the aliens as much as you’d think. It feels like the writers aren’t really sure where to go from here because the whole film feels like filler for the most part. Yeah we learn some things like the government’s island plan (RIP to everyone who was just minding their business there) but you could probably skip this film and not really miss much. For a film like this you should be learning more about how we are going to make a counter attack against the aliens or something. This is just a little too low level in terms of what the heroes are planning. I want to go back to the big picture but in the meantime the prequel should be fun to hopefully address my questions on how the aliens could have possibly defeated the military.

Overall 4/10

It Follows Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It Follows is one of those films that was going to have a lot of trouble right out of the jump because of its own premise. I’m sure you could pull it off in a tasteful way but what movie is gonna do that? The worst part is that the premise itself would actually be really solid if you changed one key plot point from the the story into something else. That would be an immediate jump but it was not to be.

The film starts off with a girl running around for a while before giving up and letting some kind of monster destroy her. We cut to the main character Jay who is living her ordinary school life. Things have been going well with her boyfriend Hugh and so she decides to allow things to go to the next stage. Unfortunately it was not a good idea, Hugh lets her know that by doing the deed with him, she is now going to be pursued by a supernatural monster. It can’t be stopped and it can’t be destroyed. All you can do is keep running away from it for all eternity…or pass the curse onto someone else. He runs off and when the cops get involved it turns out that “Hugh” was a fake name so it’ll be difficult to find him. Unfortunately the curse is very real so now Jay has a tough choice to make. Run or corrupt someone?

So you see where the premise is going to be annoying here. It’s a pretty obvious allegory and you get what they’re going for but if you picked any other method for transferring then this would be so much better. I like the idea of something that is pursuing you and will never stop. There’s a famous hypothetical about this of a snail chasing you across the world. One touch and you’re dead but in exchange you get 1 million a year. I think it sounds like a good bet because of how slow it is. In this movie that is the case as well, the creature is slow. It continues shapeshifting into different humans but can only move with the speed of a normal walk. I suppose it can jump far but that’s only once it is in range.

The main reason it is dangerous is because the main characters are teens and can’t afford to just be hiring an Uber all the time. That’s not the way this would play out. Also, everyone is naturally going to think you’re crazy for why you can’t just sleep at home and everything. I like that the rules aren’t super convenient for the villain either. Normal people can interact with the spirits, they just can’t see them. So what that means is you can have normal people try to beat them up. If you think of a good enough plan you can maybe prove its existence to the government although that plan is admittedly super high risk so I wouldn’t recommend it.

The monster also looks like just a normal person so you can’t really tell that it is the hunter until you notice that nobody else can see it. There’s also the fact that it is walking towards you but of course there are lots of reasons for normal people to walk towards you as well. Again, lots of interesting things to talk about with the premise itself and you could make a really good horror/thriller out of it. The movie doesn’t really make the best use of this story though.

So of course most of the characters are super annoying. Even after Jay has just been super traumatized after being drugged and betrayed by her boyfriend, you have at least 2 guys who are fairly eager to have fun with her as well. Yeah there’s the guise of doing it to help her out with the curse but admittedly I didn’t really buy that. Either way it’s not a great move for her to do this since that’s just dooming someone else. It’s also a rebound by definition since she would still be with Hugh if he hadn’t betrayed her. Even with the whole life or death thing going on, you just can’t move on that fast. The only heroine thing to do once you’ve obtained the curse is to either find a way to destroy the monster or to escape it forever. Passing it on is not a good idea.

We know the monster can be temporarily destroyed like when she shot it a bunch of times. The respawn takes a while so you could also try to have some kind of a trap and just keep murdering it every few hours once you get the timing down. With enough time there are plenty of things you can set up to get the monster. It has super strength but otherwise doesn’t have nearly the range of crazy powers that other horror monsters tend to have. So at least it does avoid my usual issue of the monster being completely unbeatable.

As a small aside, the characters are definitely way too kind and sympathetic to “Hugh” once they track him down. They all sit down and have a nice chat instead of immediately trying to beat him up and murder the guy. Why would you act nice to someone who has just doomed your friend to oblivion? The whole scene was annoying, get the info out of him and then beat the guy up or something. He’s clearly not a good guy and is definitely selfish to the max.

Another thing to note with the curse is that it seems like previous owners of the curse can still see the monsters. So in theory in some of the shadier parts of town you might have a whole community that can see them since the infection would spread quickly. That would make it even easier to stop the monster since it generally only cares about the next in line. So then you could still have like 20 people throwing stuff and firing guns or something. Anything would be better than the pool plan that they tried in the film. That whole sequence made me shake my head. Especially the main guy using the gun because he seemed to be terrible at following the action and understanding where the monster was. I thought it was pretty clear from how many objects he was tossing. Also, how do you start aiming at someone else? The monster is invisible so it’s hard to see how you would even come close to hitting one of the friends since she would be in clear view.

The characters did not really handle the monster particularly well but hey I suppose they are teens so you’re supposed to cut them some slack. It’s why you need to age the characters up quite a bit to make the film a lot more intense. Lets see the monster handle the grown ups trying to fight it out. Yeah the monster is strong but perhaps martial arts would be able to take it down. Ultimately there are a lot of question marks here which is fun because it makes the monster mysterious. Hopefully the next film just executes better on what is a fairly interesting premise.

Overall, It Follows had an interesting plot but really couldn’t make the most of it. You’d need a fresh set of characters for sure and also switch the method for obtaining the curse. Tone down all of the teen angst, loveless romance, and lets focus on how spooky it is to have monsters after you like this. I’d also like to get the government involved eventually because that would really add a whole lot to the story. It would really upgrade things for the better. In the meantime, I would say to avoid this film for now. There will be a better title with this plot eventually.

Overall 3/10