Tag Archives: Survival

Messiah of Evil Review

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It’s time for a zombie type of film and unfortunately I can assure you that it is not one of the good ones. There is no real escape for the heroes and while the film maintains a rather spooky atmosphere throughout, it never ends up taking advantage of this. What could have been a really intense cerebral horror film quickly becomes just another slasher to have to contend with. That is unfortunate but not entirely unexpected.

The film starts with a girl named Arletty deciding to look for her father. He left her a note saying not to do this as well as a whole book of notes but she doesn’t have time to read them in depth. When she arrives in town, the place is rather odd. One of the travelers at the gas station seemed rather off and then the town itself is fairly empty. There is an eccentric guy named Thom who is surrounded by girls and lives a life of luxury but it all seems rather empty. Arletty wants to continue on her mission but it does seem like the longer she stays here, the greater her risk of death will be.

Naturally she should have listened to her father’s note telling her not to follow him. That would have ended things right away and surely he wouldn’t have just sent her that notice for no reason right? She also should have read the whole book right away and planned for the worst. Now it’s not like there is a whole lot she could have done against the crazy zombies that would end up appearing but at least she would have been pretty well prepared. Instead she doesn’t really have a plan and always ends up being at a disadvantage.

She’s also a bit too trusting with letting Thom and his friends stay over right away. She doesn’t even know these people and odds are that they were crazy. Even by the end of the film Arletty is forced to take on more of a spectator role here as she can only wait until the inevitable happens. It’s always more fun when the protagonist can actually do a lot of stuff but in this case you could say that she was just a participant in a conspiracy that was much bigger than her. She wasn’t exactly the central focus this time.

Then we have Thom who is a bit of a space case. He tries to be calm and collected at all times but it can feel like a mask. He is quick to subtly threaten one of the girls when he feels like she has been too rude. Thom does well in the fighting near the end but ultimately it wasn’t really enough to turn the tides.

The characters are battling what is effectively an endless horde of monsters after all. Take one down and a few more will take the original’s place. It’s not like the main characters got a debriefing on this either so they’re going into the situation cold. The zombies are all cannibals, so the deaths are particularly gruesome. The film is going for max edge here and that’s really where you knew the film couldn’t come back from. It’s why I’m generally not a big zombie fan, it will usually lead to these kind of events which is hard to write around.

Since the heroes don’t really stand a chance, it also runs into the issue of the whole thing feeling futile. When the characters literally have no possible way to win, it is harder to get engaged into what is happening. If the film kept the threat vague then it might be able to survive on the atmosphere alone, but throw everything else in and you’re not likely going to come back from that.

The film has the cops show up at one point which made for an interesting addition, but unfortunately they are dispatched quickly. The way it was done was also unfortunate because it underscored that you could be turned into a zombie without being bit previously. I interpreted it as the red moon being able to transform anyone who is caught in its rays but of course then that makes things even more unfair. The villains also have a supernatural leader who has intense abilities of his own. That really doesn’t help the case for the heroes.

So the film ends up feeling rather mean spirited with the heroes having no chance and you just slowly watch as they end up dying. There’s not a lot of fun to be had with a premise like that and the film should have tried becoming an action title instead. At the very least, it does serve as a reminder that zombie films are not often going to be very good. If you see that as a genre then you know that you’re probably doomed.

Considering how dreary the film was overall, I’m surprised the ending didn’t have a little more pop. By the end of the film, we know that humanity is going to be destroyed but it’s handled in a very quiet way. I would have preferred that the invasion begins and that’s how the film ends. You may as well have things end in an exciting way like that right? It would certainly make the ending more exciting and memorable at least.

Overall, Messiah of Evil is definitely a film I’d stay far away from. There are no real positive moments to offset all the negatives here. The characters are pretty bad and the film just gets way too gruesome the whole time. It sets the tone early with the gas station murder. If the main characters could have done more damage and set this up as a more even fight then that could have helped. Have the zombies be traditionally slow or something. By allowing them to move at normal speeds like a human, it just makes them completely unstoppable. I don’t see how anybody is supposed to fight off powerful creatures like that.

Overall 0/10

And Soon The Darkness Review

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It’s time for a film that really reminds you to follow common sense and to be careful when travelling in a strange land. There are all kinds of things that can go wrong when you’re in unfamiliar territory after all and that becomes apparent very quickly. Unfortunately the film is going to rather extreme methods to point this out and the film quickly ends up going for the low hanging fruit here. Certainly one relying on cheap tension to keep you at the edge of your seat and so that’s not going to be a winning strategy.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jane and Cathy who are biking across France. They don’t really speak much French but this seemed like a fun way to spend the holidays. Unfortunately Cathy wants to take a break in the middle of nowhere and the two were already off the beaten path. Jane points out what a terrible idea this is as it will be dark out pretty soon but Cathy doesn’t care and goes back to sleep. Jane is forced to go on without her and sure enough, Cathy vanishes and is presumed dead. Jane doesn’t want to give up on her but night is approaching soon and a mysterious guy keeps on following her. This feels like trouble.

I am going to blame Cathy for a lot of this right from the start because she was being completely unreasonable. You can’t just decide to go to sleep when the place is already dangerous. That doesn’t make any sense and she resists all of Jane’s efforts to make her get up. So when Jane eventually leaves I could not blame her because staying there would have just resulted in both of them being dead. Yeah leaving your friend is always rough but it’s not like Jane could physically force her to get up. That would be an even fight at best and then you have to drive both of them with the bikes.

Cathy also didn’t seem to have much of a sense for danger with how she was encouraging the weird stalker throughout the opening. You probably want to be keeping your distance at that point instead of thinking about how cool he looked. So yeah she played every part of this as badly as possible and definitely made Jane’s life a whole lot harder.

As for Jane, she was a good friend the whole time. She went out of her way to try and help Cathy by taking a lot of risks and doubling back to find her. Jane would have been all the way to safety immediately if she hadn’t had to go back. Jane also studied so she knows at least a little bit of French which helps out. It may not be enough to speak the language but she can tell when a translator is lying about what is going on at least. Ultimately she was much sharper about her surroundings and wouldn’t make anything easy for the villain.

As for the mysterious guy, Paul, well he definitely does a terrible job of trying to look normal. He tends to be very quiet for large parts of the film and when he speaks it is always to say something that just makes him look more suspicious. I can’t forget how he asked Jane if she wanted to search deep in the woods with him during their first real conversation. That’s something only a possible serial killer would say right? Throughout the film we learn about how he’s lying to her on several occasions and in the past another woman was murdered around this spot.

The film very much enjoys its misdirects and twists but does so in a very low effort way. Basically it makes people act very suspiciously and in ways that do not make sense in order to help trick the audience. So it’s basically cheating by that point and will have you shaking your head. There is a very small cast here so you’ll probably see through it pretty quickly but it doesn’t help make the experience any better.

Meanwhile of course the film would immediately not be satisfied with just murdering the heroes and so the threat is very quickly escalated into being more than that. So now as the audience you have to hope that even if Jean dies, at least it’s quick because the motive for the villain is going to be rough. It’s what I would call cheap tension here. The film isn’t confident that it can actually make you nervous on the basis of the writing or characters so it has to add on extra elements.

The villain gets away with a bit too much here and I definitely wouldn’t have minded missing out on the details. Even the climax of the film has to go on with this rather than just having a quick fight. Yeah this movie was definitely doomed and it’s a very dreary affair. There aren’t many lighthearted moments ere at all and the film’s pacing isn’t always great. They don’t translate any of the dialogue in order to help you experience how lost the main heroine is. I understand the goal here narratively but it also means there are just more scenes that are effectively gibberish.

The film will also probably hit harder for people who have ever been tempted to do something like this. Biking across the country as a way to explore the unknown does not interest me in the slightest. It’s not something I would ever want to do and even if it was guaranteed to be safe, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Overall, This is one of those films that definitely feels rather mean spirited. It’s definitely collecting all the things that can go wrong if you wander into the wrong area but you don’t really need a whole film about that. A simple disappearance or getting lost in an unknown territory could make for a good suspense film. Once you add in the threats of being assaulted by creeps and other elements like that, then it just feels like one of those cheap thrillers you might come across on TV. It’s not a film that is seriously trying to impress you with a good message or anything like that. I would definitely say to avoid this one as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

Love and Monsters Review

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It’s time for a fun little survival film. It ended up being better than I expected as it dodged some pretty big pitfalls that I had expected it to land in from the jump. It’s a very upbeat film with some solid humor and adventure so I can easily recommend it to the average movie goer. In fact, I nearly gave it a thumbs up for the romance too but the film jumped the shark at the very end. Ah well…that’s how it goes sometimes.

The film starts off pretty quickly with nearly all of humanity being wiped out after a nuclear defense against an asteroid mutates a bunch of animals into giant monsters. These monsters quickly made short work out of humanity and the survivors live in isolated bunkers. Joel is a member of one of these but he’s not too happy. Everyone at his bunker has shacked up while his girlfriend is stuck 85 miles away at another bunker. Joel also has difficulty feeling useful at the base since he tends to freeze up all the time. All he does is cook around the base and while everyone is super supportive, he has had enough. He decides to brave the unknown and go find his girlfriend Aimee. Can he survive out there?

A few solid notes right out of the gate. I liked how everyone as really supportive and they genuinely tried helping Joel out. There were no random bullies or petty characters here. This is the end of the world so you would expect everyone to band together and not let a single person feel isolated. A minor scene about this is how they all even rehearsed how they would gently let Joel down in the event that he asked to go on a mission. Then when he decides to leave, they even make him a detailed map and everything. (Which he ungratefully only looks at for a second before putting it away)

Another thing I was glad about is that humanity didn’t just roll over. The intro states that before getting crushed, our armies did take out all of the giant kaiju. So at least they didn’t die immediately without doing anything. Additionally we were also given a good reason for why they couldn’t make a comeback because eventually we ran out of bullets and people who knew how to create more. They went more in detail on how humanity lost in 15 minutes compared to multiple movies for a Quiet Place.

Now I was going to give the film credit for the romance but like I said earlier, that didn’t work out. I think any film veteran can likely see how this journey will play out but I’m still not going to spoil it. What I will say is that for most of the movie, Joel and Aimee were fairly mature about everything. Aimee was perhaps a little tricky at times even if it was a situation where she figured it would never matter. Where it falls apart is their final scene together. Lets just say it is completely undeserved and completely destroys the whole message of the romance. Talk about one scene destroying over 90 minutes of goodwill.

It’s one of those “Hollywood” type moments where you roll your eyes. If we ever get a sequel, hopefully this has no bearing on it. As a character Joel isn’t bad. He tries a little too hard to be funny and is often cringy but to an extent that’s the point of the character. Joel isn’t your average adventure lead and is completely out of his depth. He is still earnest and tries his best though. I wouldn’t say that he’s great or anything like that but he is a good character. He gets points for how he handled the final boss as well.

Then Aimee was a bit of a roller coaster for me. She was good in the intro, took some steps back near the middle with how quickly she got drunk and let her guard down, then buttoned up during the climax. So on the whole I would say she is a good character but as the essential leader of her group, she needs to keep her guard up. Leaders have an extra burden on themselves compared to other characters and while it may feel harsh or unfair, that’s just how the job goes.

Throughout the film Joel is accompanied by his pet dog, Boy. I’d say travelling together during the apocalypse makes him a pet by the end at least, but not to be misleading, they first meet on the journey. Boy is very helpful at numerous points in the film and Joel wouldn’t have survived without him. The film avoids going for the low hanging fruit of tragedy and drama here which was really appreciated. He makes for a really fun sidekick.

In general the film was really good with the supporting characters like Clyde and Minnow who show up later on. Minnow is a little kid who is really confident and doesn’t mind letting Joel know how weak he is. Then Clyde is an expert survivor who has been surviving very well all this time. The two of them make for a great team and are also very kind to Joel. They help him learn a lot in a short period of time and get him ready for the real world. They had a very strong team dynamic between the three of them.

As for the villains we get at the end of the film, they’re a bit sudden but it made sense in terms of having a true climax. Just having some monsters show up probably wouldn’t have been as intense in this case. You definitely wanted to see the villains go down after they spent a lot of time launching electric shocks and everything. So it made for a satisfying ending there, you always like to see the monsters getting some revenge of their own as well.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It had a good sense of humor. Honestly without destroying the romance message at the end this could have even gone up one more point. With monster films my worry can be on the animal violence and how badly the monsters get damaged. This time that ended up not being a big problem. Some monsters were blown up but generally it wasn’t really done in a big animal violence kind of way. There weren’t a lot of gross moments here and it also wasn’t one of those dystopias with a really jaded view on how evil everyone would be. Sure we did get our villains but by and large the cast was solid.

Overall 7/10

Braveheart

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This write-up below is based on the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a write-up for the unedited version of the film would be more negative

It’s time for one of those old war time epics. Get ready for 3 hours of violence and armies colliding. It’s definitely not my kind of film but it’s tough to do this kind of title in general since I’m not a big fan of the old days and wars usually aren’t my thing either. So mix these in together along with max edginess and it comes as no surprise that this would not be one of my top recommendations. If you aren’t too familiar with the war then this is a decent way to learn about it although you might also want to check out a book on the subject.

The film starts by showing us how England violently captured Scotland and began to put barbaric laws on them. They did their best to completely break their spirits and kept on murdering all of the greatest warriors. Well, one day they murder William’s wife and so he decides to finally fight back. He gets some people together and destroys a bunch of soldiers. After that he begins to win more and more fights to the point where a war may actually be something he can pursue. It won’t be easy as they are extremely outnumbered but if he keeps on chipping away then at least he will be closer to a free Scotland.

The movie’s length certainly allows it to build up a lot of the characters over time and then also set you up for betrayals. It’s the kind of movie where you really can’t trust anyone. Most people can be bought for some price or threatened with something or someone that they value more than their life. It’s not enough to just assume your friends will be with you at all times. Then Scotland itself isn’t 100% united either. You have a bunch of characters all with their own goals and ambitions. Some think that they should stop fighting while they are ahead and cut a deal, others want to make a play for power, etc. It makes things really tough on William since he has to deal with drama on two fronts.

Additionally, England made clear in the opening scene that they could not be trusted. So, it sounds like a really bad idea to William when England asks for peace and some people actually entertain it. It shows that some people just don’t learn and will keep on falling for the same tricks over and over again. Not a very impressive moment there. Still, they press on and keep fighting over and over in all of the battles that appear.

The movie is pretty direct about what it’s going for here. You’re going to have loads and loads of fights and it’s going to be very violent. A lot of films at least try to spare the horse but unfortunately not this one. There are a lot of them getting stabbed and murdered amidst all the fighting. The animal violence is through the roof here and of course so is the human violence. It’s all very graphic and detailed, then you’ve got the sheer volume of it which is another story as well. It all adds up to a rather relentless film.

Film based on real life also don’t tend to be able to give you a super happy ending either since that’s not how things usually go. There will be a whole lot of sacrifice and setbacks. Often times the main player doesn’t get to see the ending himself either. This film is no exception although it tries to make the ending as light as possible. It’s a cold comfort to those who are already in the grave but at least it’s something.

I’d say the only way to save a film like this would have been to have cut out a lot of the details. We don’t need to see every grisly death or see every barbaric law placed on the Scottish people. It certainly sets up the rage that they felt but that kind of negative feedback loop doesn’t make for a very fun viewing experience. This is the kind of film that doesn’t have very many happy moments at all since they all inevitably get tainted by the scenes that will be following them shortly afterwards. Death is always right around the corner here.

Although if you play a lot of Fire Emblem, you will have a good time recognizing all of the war terms. In those games you always have to decide where to carefully place your archers, infantry, and calvary. The movie also deals a lot with tactics and that is usually where the Scottish people had the big edge. They were able to outmaneuver the big armies and their endless supply of men with really good strategies. In a war, strategy is absolutely key on any battlefield. A single mistake will cost a whole lot of troops.

Overall, If you are definitely okay with all of the crazy violence here then you might like Braveheart. After all, that is 90% of what’s going on in this film anyway. If you are not big on violence, well then you’re probably watching the wrong film. History is often dark and violent. So many crazy things went on that it can be hard to fathom. At the same time, that can be said of the current days as well. There is always a lot going on around the world here as well. Not a minute goes by on Earth without a tragedy going on and watching this film gives you a way to see into some of that.

Godzilla: Skate or Die Review

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They say that the artwork in a comic is the most important aspect…and they were right. Good writing is something you want to have too of course but when reading a comic you need the art to look solid. Unfortunately this is one of the worst displays of artwork that I have seen to the point where it is incredibly distracting. Nothing looks right and since the story didn’t have the greatest plot in the first place, the whole comic ended up being cooked. It’s not bad but it’s definitely not all that great either.

The comic starts with some skaters talking and having a good time getting ready to head to their favorite spot. They are not exactly grade A students but they are a close knit bunch who are all ready for some fun. Unfortunately it turns out that Kaiju are real as Varan and Godzilla both appear. They are heading towards at each other for a climactic battle. That’s not the worst part though, they will be colliding at the big skating area that the main characters set up. They will have to dash over there now to get one last skate session in and find a way to stop the Kaiju from tearing it apart. Will they be able to get past the government barricades and put a stop to this?

Now you may be thinking that the cops will make short work of the skaters but they’re actually kept on the back foot the whole time. They do their best like having the cop cars running around but the skaters keep on outmaneuvering them. We get some extra drama as the police guy in charge is the father of one of the kids. The comic doesn’t care a ton about this connection though which is fine with me since I am hear for the Kaiju. The problem is that none of the humans get a ton of development. They start out the adventure as your average skater dudes and don’t change much from there. They’re not over the top annoying or anything but they’re also not particularly good either.

Of course it’s always easier to point out the negatives there than to fix them. I’m not exactly sure what I would do to fix them for example. Maybe playing up their different characteristics a bit more. Like one of them was really into Kaiju so they could have had him show off his knowledge more or worked on the father-son tensions with the other one. At the same time it’s still all about the execution. So that leads me to my main solution, the comic should have leaned into the cheesy nature of the concept a bit more. Have Godzilla actually fight with the skaters. He tries to blast them while they keep jumping away and dodging every move. That would have made for a much better dynamic and then you would have a reason for them to get so much focus.

With their speed and all, readers could maybe buy into it a little bit and it’s not like Godzilla would be going all out using his nuclear wave to stop them or something. So me personally? That’s how I would have solved the issue and I dare say that it would have really worked. It’s just my two cents though and again with the art the way it is, it’s not like the score would be much higher.

I think Varan fans will be satisfied with his portrayal though. He actually has the edge against Godzilla for a good portion of their fight. You can even make the case that he would have ultimately defeated the King of the Monsters if not for the humans giving some help near the end. I like to think Godzilla would have gotten his second wind though. We don’t actually get to see most of the fight since it keeps cutting back to the skaters so for all we know, Godzilla had the edge for most of the battle.

The art still wasn’t good for the battles but at least it was something to catch your attention. I would say the main issue here is that the art was just too abstract. For the most part it was just severely lacking in detail and that’s never a good thing. A comic should be easy to read with everything being organized neatly. That was not the case here. It actually takes longer than it should in order to read through the comic because of how cluttered each page is. The artist really tried sticking everything possible onto the page and it just did not work.

If we ever got a sequel to this comic, they just need to switch the art style asap. There was enough foreshadowing where you definitely could do a sequel after all. Even a prequel I dare say since it was said that Godzilla has appeared several times in the past. It’s hard to say what kind of timeline we’re working with here but it’s definitely something where you could throw in a whole lot of fights. It’ll just all be futile if you can’t really enjoy the fights because you are deciphering the art. Also, the comic neglected to put Orga in the giant Kaiju splash page which was definitely a big mistake. That guy is iconic.

Overall, Skate or Die is definitely more about the skaters than Godzilla. Not necessarily a bad thing but you just don’t care about those guys. They’re all nice enough and all but don’t end up being all that memorable. I would say most of the issues are all amplified by the art though because if the art was really good then the characters would stand out more. Ultimately this whole comic is just a reminder of how important the artwork can be. If you really love Godzilla comics then you should probably check this one out as a completionist kind of thing but otherwise there isn’t much reason to check this one out. It’ll probably go down as one of the weakest Godzilla titles.

Overall 5/10

Survival Kids Review

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Survival games never really tend to be my thing. There’s just not a whole lot to them gameplay wise and of course it can also be pretty rough to get any momentum going because of how realistic the game is going for. Give me a fun arcade style any day. With that I can really be having a lot of fun and it could be like a collecting type of game. Certainly a big improvement over this one with how narrow the whole thing is. Ah well, at least I can say I’ve played the game now.

You start off with a big accident and then the main character makes it to an island. He must now try and survive until help can arrive but he has literally nothing. So you now have to scrounge around for wood, food, drinks, a backpack, and many other items. There are also many wild animals out there which would be all too willing to make a nice meal out of you. So this kid is in a really tough spot but he’s not someone to be underestimated. Where there is a will, there is a way.

First off the graphics are definitely nothing special. This is an older game so I get it but it’s just not the most impressive looking title. I do enjoy the overworld though which reminds you of Pokemon in a good way. I appreciated that and it’s not like you’ll get lost or anything like that. The items all look clear on the hub world after all. This is about where the positives start to vanish though. I’m generally not a fan of survival games and this one is really just no different. It takes forever to do anything and it feels like you’re trapped in a cycle. As with most things, I understand the appeal of it but it definitely doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to just be running around trying to grab things for as long as I can. I want to get to the point where the game is really fun.

You’re left to your own devices immediately with a ton of menu screens that take forever to get through. For starters I grabbed a backpack to put things in but then it fills up almost immediately. I merged different items and got advanced items like a baseball set but what am I gonna do with that? Your top danger will immediately be the fact that you need to eat and drink at regular intervals or you will die. I found a water container but couldn’t find any actual water. So once my character got real hungry it was over. There was just nothing I could do at that point and so I lost. It turned into a bit of a spiral of doom for me with no way back.

I did grab some food but all of it was spoiled like the raw meat or not safe to eat like the clams. Why are clams not safe to eat? I know I don’t eat them in real life but I figured that technically they would be safe. I suppose I underestimated exactly what happens with those clams. I also wouldn’t say it was a whole lot of fun to fight the various animals running around. They were all just minding their business after all and weren’t trying to cause any trouble. Why did I have to take them out of the running so decisively? Maybe surviving at this price was just too much.

The only time a survival game works is admittedly on the mobile where you are matching fruits and that unlocks resources to help you stay alive. The gameplay should be kept separate from the survival gimmick and then you actually have a chance at a high quality game. A survival title mixing in the gameplay and everything just seems like a recipe for disaster in my opinion. Maybe one day there will be a survival game that I have a lot of fun with but it definitely wasn’t this one. It’s not a game I can ever see myself going back to.

Overall, Survival Kids is really not for me. It could be worse but it could also have been way better. At no point while playing the game did I feel like I was having a blast. It’s all too limited and while it feels like the kind of game that would quickly start to get more and more fun as it went on, I need a quality beginning to really get me invested. Without that, it just feels like I’m basically stuck. Give me a quality platformer or something like that any day.

Overall 3/10

Mysterious Island Review

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The title of this film may be extremely vague but in a way it’s also quite fitting. The movie is mainly about the island after all and it is quite mysterious so you certainly can’t say that it was a misleading title or anything like that. It’s not a bad film but it can be uneventful for a little while. I would say things really picked up once a certain legendary character showed up and even then you will only really feel the impact if you know the character. If you don’t, then you may end up shrugging a bit.

The film starts with a bunch of people escaping from a prison cell and getting onto a balloon. The civil war is ongoing right now and tensions are incredibly high. Unfortunately their balloon crash lands on a mysterious island. Not just any island mind you….but Monster Island! Now they need to find a way off this island and fast or they will be destroyed. The guys don’t all get along but they decide to put away their differences in order to survive this experience. Two ladies also end up washing ashore so now they can really use their numbers to cook, make weapons, and prepare a way off the island. Will that really be enough or a plan though?

First off I have to give the film enormous credit for not going the cringe route and making the guys all fight over the two ladies. That would have been pretty unbearable and also annoying because it just seems to me that most people would not fall for this obvious trap and would very quickly begin thinking of ways to utilize them in the survival operation. Well, that’s what happens here as they quickly begin to contribute and it was well written. We do get the obligatory romance but for once it wasn’t ultra annoying. It’s a bit rushed but this is a life or death situation and you can see how people would rush such a thing in this situation.

The giant monsters are a little less impressive though. You have a giant chicken, a giant bee, and more. The problem is that all of the “Monsters” tend to just be giant animals for the most part. Yeah it still does work in terms of adding some danger to the film but I would have liked them to have gone all out with the designs. Give us something really scary to make you think twice about everything. I was still glad to see them overall I suppose but at the same time it would also lead to animal violence when they are defeated. It’s the ultimate double edged sword and that was not something the film could really afford.

Additionally it’s not like the island is the best backdrop here. With the characters all stranded there isn’t a whole lot of variety in the backgrounds. It beats a desert or being underwater but I would still take other venues in general. Once the guest star shows up, at least we have his lab and we learn more about the story. I would say his plot is the most interesting part of the film. He clearly seems a little mad with his experiments and he’s not the nicest guy around but at least he does have a full plan. He hasn’t just been wasting time out here or anything like that. No, he’s actually been on his feet and doing things the likes of which nobody has ever seen.

The way he goes out is a bit underwhelming though. Also the film spoils the guest star by putting his name in the opening credits which is an absolutely bizarre decision. I’m guessing at the time it was probably a legal thing where they had to mention him but it’s still a bit annoying. You could probably piece it together anyway when characters talk about his boat but it still would have been more of a surprise. It was also nice to see the in-fighting there with one character really admiring this guy while the other couldn’t stand him. The difference in opinion seems to stem from their jobs which makes sense.

All in all, the film would have been much better if the giant animals were not in it. That’s sad to say but with how the humans were crushing and eating them, they just didn’t work as big antagonists. Would have been better to have either had the island be eerily empty instead or you just used full on monsters. If you needed villains, have the pirate ship show up a bit earlier instead and lead to a lot of big fights. There are a lot of ways around bringing in the giant animals if you really needed to go down that route.

I can at least say that all of the technicals are on point. The writing is good and the pacing is solid. I can’t say there is much of a real soundtrack here but it’s an older film so you don’t really expect that anyway. It is a very quick watch and the tone is nice. It’s got that old time feel to it that always results in quality movies. Without the animal violence it would jump up several points as it is but ultimately that wasn’t to be. It feels a bit like an empty movie. So it’s not particularly offensive but it’s also not a film that I’d be clamoring to watch again. For better or worse…it’s just there. I don’t expect you will remember this film for very long after watching it. Perhaps just the giant monsters since the effects for them were interesting. And of course the guest star since having him appear was pretty fun.

Overall, Mysterious Island has a better concept than the execution. It moves a bit slowly for me and so by the time we get to the big climax, it’s a bit late in the game. It’s not as if the film is super long or anything either but I do think they could have planned out the timing a little bit better. That’s just how I see it at least. If you really like the concept then it’s still worth checking out. The writing is good and the characters all act professional. Even when there are disagreements and in-fighting, they don’t suddenly start acting like children or anything like that.

Overall 5/10

Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare Review

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I want you to imagine for a minute what it would be like to be alone in the dark. Not by yourself mind you, but surrounded by tons of giant man eating spiders. Sounds a little scary right? Well, the game is definitely trying to build up that atmosphere and I would say it does a reasonable job considering its limitations. That being said, I would not call the game an all star or anything like that. It’s reasonable but could have used a little more time in the kitchen to be baked to perfection.

The game starts with the main character’s friend being murdered so he flies out to the remote island along with his friend to find out what happened. Unfortunately she is eaten by the super spiders so the lead is on his own now. He is completely alone with no way to get off this island and must still contend with whatever happened to his friend. Do the spiders have a leader? Armed with only a few bullets and his normal gun, the main character must surpass the odds and try to survive.

The idea of a classic survival game on the game boy color is pretty interesting. It’s definitely not something that you see very often that’s for sure. I should say that this does lead into the game’s biggest flaw which is that there is a finite amount of bullets in the game. So if you run out of those, then you are dead. You automatically get a game over when you’re out of bullets. There are 2 more guns that you can unlock over the course of the game though. You need to make sure that you find these because the game is 100% impossible otherwise. I had to go backwards and unlock the final gun or I would have been completely stuck myself. I get the idea behind this as it makes the game scarier but much like an arbitrary time limit as in Pikmin, it only serves to hurt the game. It’s fun to explore around the house and find things but it becomes more annoying when you have to be stressed out about your bullet count.

Minion encounters only appear at certain points and you are unable to run away from them but that’s what makes it harder since you can’t just grind away at getting more ammo. The battles will have some ammo around so you want to grab it but you have to do this before you defeat all of the minions or what ends up happening is the ammo disappears. That means running from the spiders the whole time but of course they are faster than you so you will end up taking a lot of damage. Each bite takes out a whole chunk of health so you need to be careful. There are a lot of potions you get during the game but like everything else, these are limited.

The core of the gameplay is really a puzzle. Almost like a Metroidvania as you have to go back and forth across all the rooms as you obtain new items and abilities. It’s definitely not as linear as you might expect. Your I Spy skills will come in handy here too as almost every room has something to grab. So if you miss it, you will almost certainly need to make a long trek back which won’t be all that much fun. There are also a lot of exits and entrances in each room so it can be difficult to keep track of them.

This comes down to the console limitations. The graphics are very poor and stretched out the whole time so it can be very hard to tell where you are going or even where you are. There are full transitions between every room so the camera suddenly changing can be disorienting. Similarly every cutscene has a white flash between the dialogue which can be annoying. It’s definitely tough on the eyes. The game didn’t even try on the soundtrack as most of the game is completely silent. Music only plays during cutscenes and it’s usually the same track spammed over and over again.

The sad part is that the track is actually really good but you need it to appear during gameplay. It makes the cutscenes really jarring to go from silent to suddenly full of life. I will say though that the story itself is pretty good. I was fairly engaged and it felt like a proper narrative that you might see in a horror story. I definitely give the game full props there. They did good on this area even with the limited budget. I also generally think the concept of finding items through the house and gradually getting to the end is a fun one. With a bigger budget and quality of life updates then this could have really been a winner.

The campaign is fairly short but it is really easy to get lost so I would say to factor that in as you play the game. The videos online show people beating it in about an hour but that’s not really realistic for most players. I certainly ended up doubling or maybe even tripling that time. All it takes is to miss one item and then you are really in a tough spot. So make sure you really check everything out. Often times it is best to just keep spamming the B and A buttons as you move through each room. That way you can really be sure that you have inspected everything.

Overall, Alone in the Dark is a game that had its positives but the actual experience has too many rough patches for me to really call it good. It ends up staying right in the middle at best which still isn’t all that bad to be honest. If you have the Switch Online then you should check it out since it’s free at that point. There are better games to be sure but this is still a unique one and worth checking out in some capacity.

Overall 5/10

1408 Review

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Okay now we’ve got a psychological horror that handles itself pretty well all the way through unlike the Shining. I thought 1408 was pretty solid and had a lot going on for it. It’s a pretty well balanced movie with a good story and some pretty spooky moments. It handled the idea of how can you trap someone in a hotel room pretty well and is worth the watch. The cast is very small but fortunately Mike really nails it as the main character. He’s someone who is very easy to follow the whole time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Mike who isn’t the nicest guy. He doesn’t even humor the owners of a hotel as they try to tell him how haunted it is. Instead he just dives in and makes a mockery of the whole thing. See, Mike is a writer who visits all kinds of spooky hotels and motels in order to debunk all of the horror stories surrounding them. He doesn’t believe in the supernatural one bit and takes pleasure in knocking them down. The next spot on his list is room 1408 at the Dolphin hotel. The manager Gerald begs Mike not to go into the room but Mike doesn’t care. He’s going to debunk yet another spot. Unfortunately this place seems a little more serious than the others, in fact…he’s having a hard time getting out. Has Mike finally picked a fight with an opponent that he just cannot defeat?

Mike is a jerk but that works really well for a film like this. I like when the main character is so confident in the fact that spooks don’t exist. He absolutely relishes in proving his point and the guy is mean to everybody. He’s always got a sarcastic remark at the ready and it takes a while for his confidence to fade. I think part of why this is fun is because in most cases like in real life you’d be on his side. (Not with the rudeness but at least the confidence that the hotel room isn’t haunted) The good thing about people being superstitious is that you can probably get the room at a discount usually.

So when he starts to be overpowered by the specters, well that would have happened regardless of how confident he was. So at least this way he got to have some laughs in first. The hotel room is definitely very powerful as we see it command many abilities. Full on ability to submit hallucinations, moving matter through the cosmos, impersonation, etc. How much of this is pure telepathy is hard to say but either way it isn’t going down easily. In a lot of ways you could say it’s like Mike is trapped in purgatory. He is forced to relive his most painful moments over and over and over again. That’s probably the scariest part of the whole ordeal. Not the physical pain but the fact that it may not have an end and will keep on looping forever and ever. That’s where the true despair begins to set in.

The film can get a little violent when we see images of the previous tenants but for the most part this is definitely more about the atmosphere. Like Mike being powerless to watch the hotel tell his wife to come over so that she can be trapped as well or reliving his daughter’s death. The room slowly works to just tear apart his mind bit by bit and it’s a really intense tactic. The room just physically beating him up wouldn’t be nearly as effective. It does a little bit of that too though like the window slamming on his hands or getting blasted with hot water. It’s just more of a side effect as opposed to that really being the focus here.

One thing that also adds to the film is how normal things appear at first. Like yes the room is haunted but the electrician still shows up to help Mike fix the cooling system and things like that. He’s not completely isolated the whole time but it slowly begins to get to that point more and more. By the time he realizes the danger he is in, it’s just too late. The door is impossible to break down and yeah the window is open but there is nowhere to go to. The room strategically does allow for Mike to destroy himself but that’s about it. The room continues to pressure him into taking his own life which is when he would be truly defeated.

I’ll admit that the backstory parts tend to be the least interesting though. We see the flashbacks of him and his wife and their daughter. It’s going through some emotional beats but the whole time you’re just waiting to get back into the main struggle against the room. That is absolutely where the real action is and since you already know what happened in the past, it’s not like there are any surprises left to be had there. That I would put as a slight weakness here.

The only other weakness for me would be the ending. I don’t think it was nearly as impactful as it could have been. In a lot of ways it’s surprisingly happy and the final stinger just doesn’t counter that much. What I would have personally liked more would have been for Mike to have “escaped” and the final scene is his wife asking him to close the windows. He doesn’t respond so she walks over but he’s gone and she sees the number 1408 above the door. She is now going to be the room’s next opponent. Perhaps too mean spirited but it would have been an intense ending that also works as sequel bait.

Overall, 1408 was a good movie. It succeeded in being really ominous the whole time and making things super difficult without it feeling completely hopeless. I also thought the first act with all of the build up was handled really well. I liked the owner of the Dolphin hotel who definitely did a good job of hyping the place up. He seemed to understand the rules pretty well and did everything in his power to try and dissuade Mike from staying. At the end of the day, there were just no words that could have pulled something like that off. Mike is the kind of guy who was going to attempt this challenge no matter what. With a good amount of fakeouts and creative trials, 1408 is a film that I would definitely recommend.

Overall 6/10