Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb Review

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It’s time to look at an old Mummy film. Unfortunately this one isn’t particularly good, but I don’t think you will find this all that surprising. After all, the Mummy films are rarely all that good and this is the Hammer version. Hammer pretty much never gets anything right so why would they start now? Just think about it….these guys aren’t the ones you want to write your film. As a result we get a bunch of unlikable characters thrown into situations where it is hard to be sympathetic to them.

The film starts out with John and the gang digging up a mummy. The locals don’t like this since mummies bring a lot of curses with them so they try to murder the heroes. The main characters fight back and eventually with the help of the rich Alexander they get the Mummy out. Alexander is your typical rich CEO who wants to make even more money so he thinks that the curse will be a great way of attracting people over to his shows. Honestly….he’s not wrong. It’s working pretty well, but then the Mummy escapes and starts to murder people. John will have to figure out a way to stop the Mummy, but he also has to figure out a way to stop Adam from stealing his fiance Annette. Will he be focused enough to achieve both objectives or forfeit both?

Right away you can see one of the problems here…Annette. So, she is supposedly serious about John and yet the instant Adam shows up she quickly starts cheating on John and is ready to abandon him. This essentially means that she was fake all along or she was only in it for the money. I can’t imagine that John has that much cash so it’s a little iffy, but it’s all that I’ve got. So, this wrecks Annette’s character, but it also makes John look bad since he never even confronts her about this. He basically just watches and once Annette is ready to take him back he’s ready as well. The film ends before we can really see the fallout but I would have liked to see them break up before the film ends.

Also, before it got the far shouldn’t John have fought for her? It’s a debatable point since sometimes it’s best to just let someone go if they’re going to be tempted away that easily. At the same time, you gotta make some kind of move right? Leave or stay but just watching makes John look sooooo weak. Then we’ve got the villain Adam. Aside from the fact that he acts obviously evil from the start, his plan is just pretty bad. He is cursed with immortality and the only way he can die is if the Mummy murders him. I personally think he overrates his healing factor, but even if it is true, he has to go to an awful lot of work just to die a very painful death. There’s nothing particularly likable or interesting about Adam.

The only good character here is Alexander. As I mentioned he is a bit generic, but I really like the rich CEO angle. He wants to make a quick buck and is honest about how petty he is. You have to appreciate how straight forward the guy is. You know from the start that he is definitely going to die, but even with that I have to say that I was rooting for him. He isn’t scared of mummies and curses the way that everyone else is. Alexander holds his ground all the way to the end as a good character should. He should have been the main character and it would have been cool to see him take down the Mummy personally.

As for the Mummy, I’m afraid that he is also a disgrace here. The guy can barely move and hie design is just awful. It’s almost like the movie is doing its best to mock the guy here. The only way he hits anyone is when they trip or are being held back by another character. He is also weak against chanting, but is still able to back hand Adam so I’ll give him some props there. He also destroys his followers when they wish for it so you could argue that he is taking commands. This version of the Mummy is the closest we will get to a mindless monster.

The whole time you’re watching this film you’re going to be waiting for a character to make a sensible choice. Unfortunately it just never happens. The Mummy’s followers are both suicidal and end up letting him murder them. The heroes are either not courageous enough to do anything like John or they are easily swayed and can’t be trusted. In case you weren’t sure, I thought the writing in this film wasn’t particularly good either. At best I can at least say that the film’s pacing wasn’t bad. It’s a pretty quick adventure and isn’t given enough time to drag on.

Overall, The Mummy’s Tomb could and should have been a lot better. As it stands, it’s a fairly annoying film that just isn’t all that enjoyable. There’s really not much to see here and you’d be better off watching one of the other Mummy films. I don’t know why these companies have so much trouble with the Mummy. In theory it’s a concept that should work quite well. The Mummy got the short end of the stick on his first attempt at life and now he wants a re-do. Where’s the harm in that? Yet, the Mummy doesn’t get to appear for very long in some of these films. It’s a shame.

Overall 3/10

Halloween 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the film would be more negative.

Well, it looks like the sequel to Halloween has finally arrived. There’s only so much that this film can try to do to be good. From the start you know that it’s not going to be good, but can it at least be entertaining? Well, I’ve seen worse horror films so I’ll give it that, but this is still one of those sequels where you just shake your head. Myers has also grown a lot more powerful over the course of a few minutes as he suddenly becomes just about invincible here. Why is he bullet proof!?

The film takes place seconds after the first which is impressive. It’s an underrated approach and a super cool one if you ask me. I always like when the story picks up immediately like this. Basically, Michael Myers escaped capture last time and he decides to go right back to his goal of murdering everyone in the neighborhood. The cops have to try and stop him, but they can’t seem to save everybody. It looks like Laurie is going to have to save herself as expected. After all, when everyone else fails then it’s time to just do it yourself right?

Most of what I’m going to say here could be applied to the first film or any film in the series. That’s because Halloween follows what I’d consider to be the typical horror film outline. The only trope it seems to avoid is the animal violence one which I will give it some props there. I’m glad it was able to do that at least. The first thing dragging the film down is naturally the over the top violence. Naturally everyone meets pretty grim ends at the hand of Michael Myers. Most of the characters don’t even put up a fight or they go down without making a sound. (Rhyme intentional) Given that he has super strength and such at least it’s a little more believable than in some of the other films. Still, the body count in this film is incredibly high as nobody seems to have a way to communicate and he just takes down the whole town one at a time. It’s scary just how many people he gets and the cops never even find out about it.

Then you’ve also got horror trope #2, the terrible characters. All the characters seem to care about is getting past the friend zone. Two characters decide to hang out at a hot springs when they’re supposed to be on duty and looking after the patients. Then they can’t even tell when the other character has been bumped off. It’s also just an excuse to get a fanservice scene in since horror films seem to need that. There’s also the pointless emergency staff guy who keeps on flirting with Laurie throughout. The plot doesn’t go anywhere and I don’t even really get how the guy died. Sure, he tripped, but why would he die from that? Perhaps part of the scene was cut for the TV version or something but if there is no more context to that scene then this guy’s just a joke. He should have been written out of the film.

Laurie’s a reasonable character here. In fact, she’s the only reasonable character. She realizes very quickly that nobody else here is even remotely competent so she escapes from the hospital to try and save herself. Of course the other characters give away her hiding spot and drop the gun. If I was Laurie I’d definitely leave this town and never come back. Sam talks tough and he has a gun so he’s better than most of the characters, but he still isn’t the smartest of the characters. He plugs Myers 6 times and the guy doesn’t go down. What does he do in round 2? He shoots him 4 times. Look, if you think that this guy is basically unstoppable then you have to do all that you can to stop him. Trying to walk over and take his knife away isn’t smart so Sam is smarter than the policeman, but then go for a head shot or something. Do whatever it takes to make sure Myers stays down. Then Sam just goes back into running mode and his gun jams. Well gee…that’s just bad luck now.

Finally we’ve got Myers, but he isn’t even a character in this film. He’s basically just a zombie that is going around murdering people. I don’t think he got a single line here so maybe the film is trying to hint that he is basically dead by this point. Maybe the 6 bullets did finish him off and he is a zombie. Then again, I forget if he talked in the first film. Maybe he just can’t talk. Either way there’s not much to his character. The rest of the characters in the film just exist to die so you feel bad for them. In slasher films like this one only the main character tends to live while everyone else dies. It’s a rather tragic existence for the whole town, they were just outgunned.

There’s just nothing positive to say about the film. It’s not fun to watch and I dare say that it might be more over the top than the first film. Although I think the first film had animal violence so it was probably still worse than this film. The only positive I can say for this film is that it avoided the big 0 by avoiding the animal violence. Even then it was fairly close, but I think a 1 is reasonable. The film also isn’t particularly long so at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome quite as drastically as you might fear. Imagine this going for 2 hours? Now that would be really brutal!

Overall, Halloween 2 doesn’t try to do anything particularly clever or unique. It’s basically just a rehash of the last film. If the last film was a good movie then that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but there’s just nothing particularly good here. It’s a pretty mean spirited film where the villain has the edge throughout. Surprisingly there isn’t even a stinger here so I suppose the heroes can finally get a little peace at least. It’s a silver lining, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’d highly recommend avoiding this film as much as possible. Just stick away from it and you’ll be the better off for it.

Overall 1/10

Strait-Jacket Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror film by the name of strait jacket and like the Tingler it is ready with a few twists and turn in the plot. It’s always good when a film throws in a few misdirects to keep you busy as long as they make sense and have some kind of purpose. I do think this film pulled off the twist but it still couldn’t save itself from falling into a few holes.

The basic plot is that Lucy was away from home on a business trip. During her absence the husband decided to cheat on her with someone else. What he didn’t realize was that Lucy had caught the early train back home so she arrived in time to see this. The guy didn’t notice her arrival until it was too late and she managed to destroy both of them. She was sent away for 30 years but now she is back and hoping to live a normal life once more. Her daughter, Carol, wants everything to go back to how they once were, but is that even possible?

There are a bunch of other characters wandering around and are ready to muddle the plot as well. This includes the fiance to the daughter who just so happens to be rich and his parents. They don’t want the main two to get married and are ready to stop this relationship in its tracks. Then you’ve got the nice maid who helps out around the house and a mean Gardner who makes it clear that he doesn’t take orders from anyone. People start to get axed just like how the mother got rid of the competition. Has Lucy descended into madness or is someone setting her up?

Now, how well the twist works may depend on how you feel about the mother’s opening scene. After all, she was betrayed and so she fought back. The context is a whole lot different than most other murderers in these kinds of films. She was never actually crazy and just wasn’t gonna let the guy get away with it. It will probably feel very far fetched to see her going back to getting anyone else. Of course, as a horror film that is always a possibility. Meanwhile you will be suspecting someone from the main cast. I’d say that there are only 3 reasonable suspects among them but I’ll stop there.

Unfortunately the film does make the big mistake of throwing in animal violence. See, the main character’s own a farm and they believe in caging their chickens. Naturally we also have to see them chop one and the whole thing is pretty bad. Cutting out that scene/pointless subplot would have really gone a long way. I suppose that all of this does help to tip you off to the fact that something definitely isn’t right here.

The final action scene is definitely pretty intense though as the villain has a cool design. The whole thing is basically perfect even if it’s a little plot convenient. Getting into the house is way too easy for all parties involved. I get that this was back in the old days where everyone was a friend, but just leaving your door open throughout the night is asking for trouble. In particular you will feel bad for the father who just wanted to drink his milk. Sure, the guy probably should have gotten a little more involved with the marriage situation but at least he wasn’t actively opposed to it. He should have been less of a target than the wife. Of course, if you’re planning on bumping them both off then I suppose it makes sense to take him out first.

We’ve also got the corrupt butcher guy who was hired on for some reason. I never get why the main characters hire some super shady guy and then put up with how he acts throughout. They are the ones with the power here, just fire the guy and be done with it. Instead he throws around some threats and the main characters basically just have to shake in their boots. The fiance character wasn’t much better honestly. That’s because he is treated like a normal main character and yet he comes very close to cheating on Carol which is what Lucy was afraid of. The guy has no self control at all.

While the film does perform some of the plot twists pretty well, there are also some obnoxious red herrings that don’t need to be here. The first of which is certainly the scene with Lucy trying to act younger. The music takes her over and suddenly she becomes a huge flirt who can’t control herself. That’s a very big 180. Couldn’t she have dressed younger while staying mature? It defeats the whole purpose of getting a second chance at youth if you also lose the knowledge of being older along with it. This plot never really plays into the film in a realistic way. At times she just acts a little too crazy…so maybe Lucy always was insane.

Then we have the psych guy show up to basically tell Lucy that she’s crazy and has got to go. He’s not the smartest guy for a plethora of reasons. One of which is that he should have his guard up since he is dealing with someone who has murdered in the past. Even if the rehabilitation is complete you’d think that he would at least be prepared for anything right? Well, that’s not the case here and it certainly ended up coming back to haunt him. Then we’ve got the brother Bill who doesn’t really get much of a role here. He’s mostly just around as a sound board for the other characters.

Overall, Strait Jacket is a pretty interesting thriller. It makes it share of mistakes so I won’t call it a good film, but I will say that it does put in an effort. The film at least goes through the motions of forcing you to think a little. I also did like the ending with how happy it got all of a sudden compared to the sad scene that had just played. It’s time to try to make things all right again and it’s good that the character isn’t going to take the situation too hard. Who knows, with a few years of patience and talking maybe they’ll all get their happily ever after. In the mean time I would recommend getting some tickets for the Broly film coming out this year (In Japan) if you want a spooky, but epic film. That one’s going to be intense!

Overall 3/10

Sometimes They Come Back Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

When you see a film from Stephen King you typically get the feeling that it’s not going to be good. The guy loves making his books as gritty and over the top as possible. Not saying that he can’t have a good book, but I get the feeling that the vast majority are pretty bad. This one definitely continues that streak and is just so dark and gruesome that you’ll want to take out a few hot pockets to make it through this film. Sometimes the Razzie nominations come back, but sometimes they don’t.

The film starts with Jim moving back to the town that almost ended his life many years ago when bullies destroyed his brother. He swore that he would never come back, but the cash lured him in. That’s how it always starts. You’ve got a nice life situation, decent pay and a good atmosphere. Then someone offers you extra money to do something dangerous and you take it…not knowing that it will be the end. Jim took this risk and as a result his family is now in danger. The teens who attacked those 20+ years ago and got hit by a train are now coming back to life. They are murdering kids in Jim’s class (Jim’s a teacher) and taking their place. Nobody can stop these guys since they have regeneration and super strength. Gradually they all come back and Jim is forced to have one last confrontation with them. Can he prove that he has grown stronger over the years or will he have to beg them for some help?

Well, where to start here? I guess lets talk about tired horror trope #78: Overpowered villains. As always the main characters can’t really do anything against these villains. They are stronger than humans and bullet proof. What can Jim reasonably do about all of this? He does try to defend himself at times but they just beat him with a single punch and call it a day. He’s just plain stumped at that point and it’s hard to even point the blame at him. Of course the moral is that he has to move on, but whether he does that or not students are going to keep on dying. It’s a lose-lose situation and the worst part is that the students had nothing to do with this, but are still defenseless. Jim is unable to prevent any of them from dying and even by the end of the film nobody will ever really know what went on there. Jim even drags one guy out of retirement only to let him be promptly murdered. None of these deaths are painless or peaceful at all either. The villains make sure that these guys really have it.

Then we also have the fact that Jim’s guilty conscience shouldn’t even be guilty. Basically, he stole the car keys from the bullies so after they murdered his brother he ensured that they would die as well. So..was he not supposed to have picked up the keys? The bullies made it clear that they were going to destroy Jim next. It’s also not as if it was pre-meditated, Jim just grabbed them in the heat of the moment. The whole thing makes you shake your head. Then, while the bullies got super powers and such the brother doesn’t get anything so when he comes back from the dead he promptly gets beat up again. Shouldn’t he have also been powered up to be able to match the others? Something just doesn’t seem right about all of this. The villains always get the props with this.

So, the film is super violent with literal dismemberments and overly dark/tragic. What else could go wrong? Well, that is about it. The rest of the movie just doesn’t help its case with its poor script and unlikable characters. The film can feel rather long at times and there isn’t much to like. That’s always the worst part for a film like this, there are no positives to be found. Without those then the film really has no hope of being good. No worries though, the film does squeeze in the annoying kid trope. So, the mother and the kid know that these teens are trying to destroy Jim. They naturally lock the doors. Then someone knocks on the front door so the kid runs up and opens the door. The Mom should have stopped him for starters and for seconds there should have been some common sense here. Why is this kid so terrible? It’s why I don’t like having kids in films. They make the worst possible mistakes constantly. The only consistent thing about them is that they will never make the right move. Leave fighting zombies to the professionals.

Overall, This is definitely not a film that I would recommend. It plays out like just about any other slasher with the zombie bullies just destroying everyone in their way. Jim can’t stop them and only a demonic train is able to help him out here. It ends up effectively being a time loop only in this version extra people die in order to power up the loop further. Definitely not something you want to see in such a loop. There’s nothing particularly charming or fun about this film to hold it together. We also get a ton of flashbacks so if you start to forget how the brother died, no worries you’ll see it a bunch. If you have to watch a horror/thriller about changing the past then watch Flashpoint instead. Still not a great movie, but it is an improvement.

Overall 0/10

The Tingler Review

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It’s time to look at an old film known as the Tingler. It’s a movie that will cause you to re-think everything you thought you knew about the notion of fear. At least, that’s what the film thinks. We even get an intro at the beginning where the writer is basically begging you to try and act scared during the film since the whole climax revolves around this. It’s a little rough since these films are hardly scary and you’d have to have a group of friends around to be bold enough to yell in the first place. All in all, it wasn’t the best film out there, but as far as horror titles go it could have been a whole lot worse.

So the movie starts off with Chapin figuring out that inside of every human is a giant worm known as the Tingler. It explains the back pains we get when we’re older. When people get super scared the worm gets huge and starts crushing us from the inside however as soon as you yell the noise vaporizes the creature. As such it is hard to capture the thing alive since this is the weakest monster in a very long time. Chapin tries to scare himself but he simply isn’t brave enough and ends up yelling. The effect also doesn’t work too well on his wife since she ends up passing out. No, he needs someone who can’t yell out. That’s where Martha comes in. She is mute and cannot let her fear out. She conveniently dies of fear and so Chapin gets a hold of the Tingler. Will this really make him rich and famous or has he done all of this for nothing?

Chapin is one of those eccentric main characters who wants to prevail in his scientific endeavors no matter the cost. Whatever it takes is what he will do, even if it means putting someone at gunpoint. He is rocky enough where the film is able to successfully pull off some misdirects with him. There are two times in the film where you think he is going to do one thing and he does the other. Both were unexpected and particularly the latter twist as it happens at the very end of the film. Even if these twists gave Chapin a little humanity I can’t say that he was a great character. Let’s step away from the moral ambiguities of even trying to capture a Tingler. Once he actually does have one he doesn’t even want to do anything with it. He decides that there are forces of nature beyond man. All I can say to that is it’s a little late for second thoughts at this stage in the game. At that point everyone suffered for nothing. Chapin is also rather naive.

In a subplot, his wife has been cheating on him for a while now and is trying to steal money from his employee’s fiancée. Chapin confronts her about this and then gets the gun ready. Later on she claims to have had a total change of heart and serves him a drink. He flips the cups thinking that he has outsmarted her but the plan was a little more intricate than that. What he should have done was not drink at all. How could he take such a big risk? The wife is naturally not a good character either. She’s basically just around to try and make everyone’s lives a lot tougher than they needed to be. The film never tries to make her sympathetic and that’s certainly for the best.

Then we have Oliver who seems a little unbalanced. He likes to drink a lot and just seems very off during the scene where he visits his brother’s body in the beginning. He wonders what it would feel like to be in the chair and stuff like that. Even Chapin has to cut him off a few times. Oliver never ends up becoming a decent character and if anything the lead was probably a little too polite to him by the end. At least Chapin is fearless I’ll give him that. Martha could be annoying at times since she would act very suspicious right from the start. She is clearly very connected to her money and didn’t want to let it out of her sight even for an instant. That being said, she is a little too rattled by basic things like a little cut. I suppose it can be unnerving, but all of this together just made her a little too eccentric.

As for the actual Tingler, it’s hard to the creature seriously. Essentially it’s just a big worm with pincirs. Once it has you in its grip then it’s all over. I can appreciate the threat that this would pose to most humans in this film, but he could have had a cooler design. At the end of the day it just didn’t seem that strong. The main characters seem to think that it cannot be destroyed, but they hardly even tried doing anything to prove that theory. As a result it is hard to really buy into that hypothesis. Where’s the proof?

The ending was certainly interesting with how we got a twist like in a modern horror film. Considering who was getting twisted you’ll be hard pressed to try and defend the guy. As they say, karma arrives awfully quick in most horror titles. Play the villain at your own risk there. I guess the film did a reasonable job of making most of the twists realistic throughout but it’s all still tragic for the victim. According to the villain the victim had tried similar deadly things on him off screen, but it’s hard to know if he was being legit or even if it matters.

Overall, The Tingler is a film that likes its plot twists. They actually did work rather well so I’ll give the film some props there. Still, the movie felt rather unfocused. I still can’t believe that Chapin would give up on his dream so quickly after being completely obsessed over the Tingler for many years. That is just too rushed. Most of the characters seem to be rather crazy as well so there’s no one to root for. Even Chapin’s employee is basically just going along with all of this for his paycheck even though he has a feeling that things just aren’t right at the moment. He may as well be an accomplice. He was also going to bring some animals to test the fear element on which is inhumane at best. No, the only character to root for here is the Tingler as it works to destroy all of humanity.

Overall 4/10

The Shallows Review

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It’s time to look at a pretty recent shark film. These films are super risky in general because sharks lead to animal violence which is something that you typically want to avoid in a film. They also tend to take place at a beach which results in a considerable amount of fanservice. It’s a losing combo if I ever saw one and this film was not able to escape. If anything it might be the weakest shark film.

The movie starts out with a teenage girl heading off to a beach by her lonesome. The original plan was to go with her friend but that plan tanked when the friend was a no show. Now Nancy will have to try and have fun alone. It’s going well for her at first until it gets late and the Shark shows up. She manages to escape to a little rock in the middle of the ocean but with the tide coming in soon it won’t be high enough to defend herself for long. If anything it already isn’t and the shark is just ignoring her for some reason except for when she goes back in the water. Nancy will have to think of something because if she doesn’t get back to land to warn the others, who will?

Well, let’s talk about why this film had issues. We’ll get the beach locale out of the way first. The film makes sure to remind you of its target audience by zooming in on the main character quite a lot. The film is certainly not being subtle here and you should always be able to make a good film without fanservice. All it does is distract from the plot which is typically what you do when the plot is no good.

Then the film can also be rather violent. A large chunk of the film is just the main character yelling and being in a lot of pain. The scenes are way too dragged out and most of them could and should have been cut. It also takes away from her battle with the shark if she is barely even strong enough to stand. Finally we have also got the animal violence angle. A Whale dies early on which was pretty tragic. Then we have the main character trying to hitch a ride on his body, scratching him up in the process. Throw in a bird who broke his wing (Going for some obvious connections here with the lead’s injury but the plot was still unnecessary. The bird lived at least which stopped this from being a 0) and the actual shark and you’ve got yourself a proper train wreck.

Unfortunately the main character was also not particularly likable. She comes across as rather naive and makes mountains out of molehills. Nancy’s conversation with her father at the beginning of the film just seems rather odd with the lead trying to pick a fight. It’s hard to judge with no context at that point but since the film didn’t want to go into it all that much I don’t have a real reason to root for the heroine there. Then she also isn’t particularly nice to the bird that is sharing the rock with her. She flicks water at him and also doesn’t offer him any food when given the chance. If anything it seems like she only helps him at the end because she had gotten rather bored. Not the most charitable reason to help. If she was a better character that could have at least helped the film a little bit, as it is there wasn’t much to help it’s case.

As far as special effects go I think the film did a pretty interesting job with how it showed the phone calls and various objects as if they were virtual reality. It’s a pretty strong effect that stands out so hopefully you like it since it will be impossible to avoid. I think it was a good effect and also gave the film something unique to do beyond the usual. The music also isn’t bad. You probably won’t remember it by the end but it fit well with the scenes.

Overall, The Shallows is definitely one of those films that you should avoid. That being said, it does play out just as you would expect it to. This means that you can effectively tell if you will like the film or not from the trailer. I’d certainly say that it is reason enough to skip the film. Shark films just aren’t particularly ready to make a positive name for themselves and until they take place in space with robot sharks I doubt they will be anytime soon.

Overall 1/10

The Masque of the Red Death Review

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It’s time to look at an old horror film where Vincent Price must take the stage once more. I’ve already seen this story adapted once and it got the flat 0. That wasn’t the most reassuring moment out there but maybe this one would be better? Unfortunately that is not the case and I’m afraid that we have yet another flop here. This movie just didn’t have the skills to pull off the win.

The film starts with a village being raided by the evil prince and most of the villagers are murdered. Only 3 are spared, a girl, her father, and her betrothed. The prince decides he will break the girl’s spirit so that he can take his ultimate victory. However, the villagers did speak of a day of deliverance so the prince has to watch out.

This film deals with a lot of satanic themes as the villains worship the demon. It’s about as hard to watch as you’d expect since most of the characters are devil worshipers. That makes it rather hard to root for anyone or to stay invested in the film. It’s all about showing how evil everyone is and there isn’t really much of a point that the film was driving towards either. It’s just a lot of scenes of nothing and dreams which last forever.

This film also manages to squeeze in some animal violence just so it could tick that box as a bird quickly gets destroyed by another. It’s yet another moment where the film keeps on trying to lower the bar it has set for itself. If there was some good writing or pacing then the film could at least try to survive some of this but nothing of the sort is to be found here so the film was doomed.

Unfortunately the main character is also a disgrace here as she ultimately ends up forsaking her faith under pressure. It’s another shame that this movie throws in to undermine her character arc and to try to say that everyone would falter at some point. Yeah in this world everyone turned out to be evil so the lead had no positive influences to turn to, but I don’t see why she had to quickly throw her soul away at that point.

The brother and the father also forgot their own character arcs as they swore not to fight each other and then went up against each other in a poison dagger match. Clearly one of them would die in such a match so they were destroying each other even if it was indirectly. These are the kinds of character consistency you would expect from this film.

By the time the Red Death shows up to finish everyone off you’re just waiting for the film to end. Could he have taken any longer? The villagers should definitely be upset since the guy didn’t ultimately help them much. I suppose it also shows why you shouldn’t just trust strangers with your life after meeting them once.

The film could also be rather violent at times. The dream sequence certainly comes to mind where someone gets axes quite a bit. The film just can’t help itself it would seem. When everyone gets infected by the red death they also begin to look quite grotesque which isn’t helping the film’s case either. At least we don’t see characters chopped up like in other horror films coming soon, but this film was just desperate to get everything wrong.

If this film could have attempted to show any class it would have at least made the main heroine a little more knowledgeable so she could talk back to the prince. He likes to bring up the same old talking points like if God exists then why is everyone so evil or why he won’t personally show up to save them. Each time the main character starts to stammer or just says that she doesn’t know. Those are basically the worst answers you can give to such questions. She could have responded with the basic concept of free choice and that’s why people can still be evil or how tribulations and trials make you stronger. Instead she basically gives up, just like the film gave up on having a good story.

Overall, The Masque is the Red Death is definitely a film that I would recommend avoiding. There are no redeemable qualities to be found here. If it did anything right it is that the film isn’t super long even if it does drag for quite a while. There’s no point in watching the villain’s worship satan and the scenes are way too long. It’s why films that are all about showing how depraved humanity is will always be destined to fail. There’s just no entertainment value there. If you want to go watch a good horror film, just stick to the comedic ones.

Overall 0/10

Cry of the Werewolf Review

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It’s time to look at a really old Werewolf film. This one changes things up a bit from the usual formula, but I can’t say that it ever gets to the point where you start to think of it as an amazing title. It’s just hard for Werewolves to be particularly impressive. With the main character being rather sketchy as well things got tough for this flick, but I will say that it still did manage to be better than expected. After all, we have a good actor for the Werewolf and he seemed to be having a good time here so that was good.

The film has an intriguing lore. Essentially there is a tribe of Werewolves. Nobody knows about them and they want to keep it that way. Unfortunately word starts to get out and the bodies begin to pile up. Our main character may not be the brightest one out there, but he starts to figure out that something is wrong. The Werewolves decide to silence him as a result. That will be the only way that they can ensure nobody visits them. Of course, it’ll be tough since the main character’s best fiancee is also related to the tribe which is a security risk. How can the leader of the tribe hope to stop this main character?

Well, the main character is pretty bad so that part isn’t really much of a challenge. It’s hard to explain just how bad this guy is, but there’s one scene in particular that makes it easy. So, he’s pretty sure that this group is the one who murdered his father. (side note, the father didn’t look very good the whole time either. A mysterious idol appears in his house one day and he doesn’t question it. It’s a doll that is meant to be interpreted as a threat but the doctor/professor doesn’t take it seriously. He probably should have) He heads to the morgue to search for clues and that’s when the leader appears to try and talk him over. She uses her charm to get him to her apartment where he is immediately defeated and distracted long enough for her to put an actual charm on him. He eventually gets over it, but considering that he is prepping for a wedding you would think that the guy would be a little more prepared right? Well, that was apparently not good enough for him and he was so close to wrecking his chances with the fiancee.

Then the heroine isn’t great either. She may have the Dracula accent, but she doesn’t actually use it to try and fight against the villains. On the contrary, instead she is content to stay on the sidelines and faints when the leader even talks to her. She simply can’t fight back at all and it’s always annoying to see that happen to the heroes. Why should she be any weaker than the leader? Those mental energy bolts shouldn’t affect her quite so strongly. She spends enough time fainting and almost murdering the main character where it’s just hard to take her seriously.

If you want a good character then look no further than the chief of police. That guy may have had the wrong man for most of the film, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. This guy was actually taking his job seriously and can you really fault him for doubting that it was some kind of supernatural culprit? It technically makes sense that this would not be the case. He also did come around by the end and didn’t deny the evidence right in front of him so that was good. He may have been rather late to the game, but better late than never right?

Overall, The Cry of the Werewolf isn’t the best film out there, but it was rather entertaining. I liked the Cops here and while the main duo were pretty bad, they could also be unintentionally funny. I do think that the film was a little all over the place though. The whole tribe of Werewolves thing was a little odd. Why didn’t the followers try to help out as well? Whether they worshiped the leader as a werewolf or feared her, they should have stepped in. The heroes wouldn’t have stood a chance since they were so outnumbered and the tribe would get off scot free since nobody would believe that they were Werewolves. This film will leave you with some questions for sure. Whether they are big enough for it to matter to you is another story. At the end of the day, I guess the film at least did a reasonable job of trying its best to find a different way of telling the classic Werewolf story.

Overall 5/10

Ouija Review

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It’s time to watch my first traditional horror film in a while. That’s probably not the most accurate phrasing to use so let me switch it up a bit. When you think of horror films there are many kinds. 1. Realistic horrors where the threat is something that could happen in real life. These are typically the worst ones. The bottom of the barrel for horror so to speak. Then you have 2. Supernatural slasher horrors: These are the films where the opponent is some kind of ghoul, spirit, or phantasm who wants to destroy the main cast. That’s the kind that Ouija is a part of. These films usually get around a 2/10 score and are always pretty bad, but I consider them to embody the spirit of a true horror film the most. They have a set of cliches that are always followed to the letter and since you know all of the friends will ultimately end up dying you have to decide who the 1 extra character to be spared will be. The main heroine always lives, but she usually gets one ally to stay with her. The rest are red shirts from Star Trek. A similar kind of horror film is with aliens but it follows a different set of tropes so I’d count it as a slight variation. Typically there are more survivors and the films aren’t quite as graphic. Lets ignore Alien and Predator There’s also Kaiju films but that’s a whole different debate as to if they even count as horror films so I’ll skip that for now. The next level of horror are the classic humanoid monster films like Dracula, The Mummy, etc. These can be fairly decent, but are a mixed bag. They have the potential to get a positive score, but are most likely 4-6/10 on average. Finally you have the horror/comedy hybrids which are the best kind of horror films. These have their share of jump scares but balance them out with witty one liners and the cast knows what’s up. These films include Abbott and Costello, Scooby Doo, House, etc. Those are the best ones, however you never feel like they are True Horror films which is why the supernatural ones still take that title. They may not be good but you’ll be entertained.

Time to talk about the actual film. Laine and Debbie used to play with the Ouija back when they were kids. They grew out of it though and went back to enjoying life. One day Debbie was super bored so she played an extra game and was quickly murdered by the monster inside of it. To the outside world it looked like she destroyed herself, but Laine wasn’t buying it. Debbie had been having a good time prior to that Ouija game so she decides to play the game with her friends to see if they can talk to Debbie and learn the truth. They learn it all right, but not from Debbie. The monster inside the board has decided to destroy everyone else who has played with the board game as well. As the bodies quickly begin piling up Laine has to figure out how to stop this ghoul once and for all. Her best bet is to ask the resident experts but is it already too late?

The film does a good job of avoiding the trope of the animal death in this film. That’s a good thing because no animals played on the board so that would have really just been for shock value. The film was pretty consistent here about the ghost only going after the players. This movie also isn’t quite as graphic as a lot of the other horror films so that’s a plus. It is still pretty intense though so keep that in mind but watch a trailer or something and you’ll probably be able to guess the rest. Most of the characters die in pretty brutal ways that may be fairly blood free but are still rather dark. Considering that most of them didn’t even want to play the game it’s quite tragic.

There’s always that one friend who is pulled into the game for a film like this one and in this case it’s Isabelle. She was probably the best of the main characters or at the very least she was a lot more upbeat. She was just looking forward to having a good time when Laine forced her to come with everyone to play the Ouija. She repeatedly expressed how she doesn’t want to do it, but since she is such a nice friend she goes along with it anyway. Ah well, that was game over. Then we have Trevor and Pete. Why would the film choose to have two actors who look so much alike? Considering that neither one of them is particularly likable it doesn’t help their case either. For instance, when Laine asks them to join her in a quest to stop the villains they both basically give her the same answer at different points. They may not be supposed to be similar in character, but I’d say that they are. They’re both very touchy and panic a lot. They never stood a chance here.

Then we’ve got Sarah who is probably the worst character of the bunch. She just likes to fool around a lot and doesn’t take anything seriously. Her way of coping with Debbie’s death is just to get even worse and is a thorn in Laine’s side for most of the movie. She doesn’t get to actually help until the very end of the film and it’s not enough to save her. I’m sure she would be a better character in a sequel thanks to developing from this so maybe she’ll be able to turn it around there. I’m pretty mixed about Laine. On one hand, she is pretty determined about finding out what happened to Debbie which is good. On the other hand her ideas are just pretty bad. Playing the Ouija board was really not a good idea and her family warned her about it. Getting everyone else in trouble the way she did was also a mistake. I suppose I don’t blame her too much for believing the words of the random stranger since the ghosts were acting misleading the whole time. It’s one of those annoying plot moments where you wonder why the bad spirits can do basically anything while the heroic ones are always sobbing and running around with no actual plan. They need to at least try thinking for themselves. On a side note, the old lady’s plan was actually quite sound though and did make for a pretty entertaining twist.

So, I won’t say that Laine was a bad character but she did make a lot of convenient decisions which certainly helped the villains. She’s still smarter than some of the other friends though. In one scene near the climax one of the guys gets a text from the main characters and runs to the back yard. Keep in mind that it’s the dead of night right now. He tells her to wait up, but she runs past a fence and slams the door. Not taking the hint, he opens the gate and chases after her. What happened to the guy’s intelligence? If that is really her wouldn’t she respond? Considering that he has already seen a lot of crazy stuff happen over the last 24 hours you would expect him to be a little more cautious here. I mean, it probably doesn’t matter since the ghosts are always super powerful so they would get their man anyway, but it still makes you shake your head.

Meanwhile Debbie’s a pretty great character. She makes all of the heroic choices when possible. Yeah, playing the game was a mistake, but at least she quickly realized it and distanced herself from everyone so they wouldn’t get hurt. It does bring up the tough questions of whether you should go to your friends in case they can help but if you “know” that it is all futile then keeping them out makes sense as well. She also has a lot more will power than the rest of the characters and is easily the highlight here.

As for the villain…well she’s fairly generic as can be. There are two main ghosts here. One of them is super weak and doesn’t know how to properly convey any kind of message and the other one does her best to finish everyone off. The villainous one naturally does a better job, but I wouldn’t call either one of the villains particularly memorable or cool. I’ll take the Grudge/Ring villains in a heartbeat. As for the rather dramatic ways they finish off their opponents, I suppose the villains like stretching things out. They could have easily ended the heroes in any number of ways based on those scenes. Also, shout out to the nanny for knowing everything that was happening and not lifting a finger to help. It’s pretty unexpected honestly. Not a good thing of course, but still a unique choice for a background character.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this film. It’s a pretty dark adventure where the heroes never stand a chance which can be annoying. There is only so much you can do against a monster which can’t be touched and has super strength as well as tk abilities and basic reality warping. Still, it’s definitely a little classier than the average film in its genre so I’ll give it that. The imagery can be rather disturbing and gruesome, but not overly violent. A good example of this is the clouded over eyes. It’s not particularly pleasant, but I’ll take it over other eye tricks from horror titles. If horror films are your cup of tea then go for it. Otherwise I recommend paying a visit to the Scooby Doo collection.

Overall 3/10

Venom Review

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When Venom was first announced there was a lot of panic in the streets since there are so many good arcs to choose from and so little time. Naturally it made sense to choose one where Venom is a little more on the heroic side to build him up as the main character of this universe (Or that’s what they should do at least) so then the film builds its origin story around that. It was actually quite a bit better than I expected after hearing the negative buzz. It’s a good film that can hold its own and I’m definitely ready for that sequel.

The film starts with Venom crash landing on Earth along with 3-4 other symbiotes. (The film opted to switch the pronunciation back to normal) they had been captured by the government except for one who manages to escape. This corrupt company wants to find a way to merge humans and aliens so they can live in space and are murdering a bunch of people off the streets in order to do this. Eddie once tried stopping this company but it cost him everything. Well, a doctor has convinced him to give it a second shot and with a symbiotic of his own, Eddie may just have a chance. He’s been beaten by corporate, humiliated, treated like a drunk has been. Eddie decides that it’s time he stood up for himself.

A lot of this film will probably depend on how much you like Eddie Brock himself. The guy is definitely not like your average hero. He’s usually a little on the drunk side and is always down on his luck. He means well but at the same time doesn’t think things through. On one hand you see several examples of him being a good person like when he gave a homeless lady some money or how he tends to get along with everyone like the door man and the owner of a convenience store. Eddie’s just a very easy going guy even if he can be a little slow to adapt to what’s going on. I don’t think his character personality was executed nearly as well as it could or should have been though. I think he could have been very likable if handled right but from what we got he can be rather annoying.

The Venom symbiote is a lot of fun though. His personality reminds me of Blue Beetle’s scarab. At first he is pretty ruthless and acts like a villain but gets rehabilitated rather convincingly. Even from the start he is pretty handy to Eddie and as he mentions, Venom is a reasonable guy. He even lets Eddie square away his personal issues before they head out on their final mission. The symbiote is always quick on his feet and I’d say he is also quite patient considering how much Eddie is complaining throughout all of this. Venom’s easily the best character here although I have a hard time believing that he wasn’t cool back on his world. I like to think he is just trying to be sympathetic to Eddie which shows once again that he is a pretty nice guy. The plot of a character being possessed by another entity or being forced to share a body can usually go on 3 ways. The spirit is evil and crushes the hero, the spirit is heroic and they team up, or the spirit is rather ruthless but will help the hero for mutual survival and down the road they become friends. The final version is typically the best route, especially when the other entity never fully turns good and is always a bit of a loose cannon. That’s why I’m glad the film went this route.

I do have to say that the writing can be rather weak though. The script isn’t great which makes the characters a little harder to like than they would be otherwise. The language definitely could have been toned down quite a bit. There is also the matter of the romance being quite weak here. The main heroine’s instant rebound was super suspect as she clearly couldn’t have cared for Eddie much if she’s already moved on so completely. There was a time skip of a few months which is supposed to make this feel more organic…but it doesn’t really work. Throw in the fact that some sketchy stuff happens later on and I don’t think her character arc is going in a good direction. Plus, Dan seemed like a reasonable character but you get the feeling that he is doomed from the start. At least he tried helping Eddie. Two other supporting characters who were fun were the Deli owner and the homeless lady by the store. They seemed to be pretty nice characters who were doing their best to get by. Eddie being nice to them is part of the reason why he’s a likable character in the first place. The rapport with those characters is on point and hopefully the Deli owner gets to appear in the sequel. Maybe she can give him some more advice.

As for the scientist lady who tries to enlist Eddie’s help….I can’t say that I was really a fan of hers. She just seems a little wishy washy and far too late about suddenly feeling bad about her work. The company she works for has already murdered a ton of people. She has a quick line about how it was worth it since they were curing cancer, but not anymore since they’re trying for space travel. While the latter does seem to be less important than the former, the ends don’t justify the means either way. Then when she does make her move she isn’t particularly smart. She should have left the complex the instant things went sideways. Did she forget that security cameras are a thing? As soon as the villain found out that someone had broken in she should have left. She just wasn’t nearly as compelling as the other characters.

Then you have the corporate big shot who is trying to harness the power of the symbiotes for his own gain. The guy is heralded as a genius, but doesn’t seem all that smart from what we see. It just looks like he has a lot of money and gets everyone else to do the inventing for him. I mean, that happens a lot in real life as well as the small workers do all the work for the big shots who take the credit, but it needed to be said. Still, he’s a pretty fun main villain. He’s very full of himself and definitely does take down a lot of characters during the course of the movie. He definitely gets outranked once Riot shows up though. Also, he wants to inhabit space since Earth was too overpopulated. I think he would have liked Thanos’ plans to snap half of all life away. Then things would be balanced….as all things should be. He would have joined Thanos’ ranks in a heartbeat….and then chickened out halfway so he would have been doomed.

Riot is definitely a fun character. He makes for a great villain and his deign is pretty hype. In general the designs for the symbiote creatures were pretty solid. Venom looks like his classic 90s self and of course Riot is basically just a grayer version of Venom. This makes for a pretty epic climax in the film where both characters really get to go at it. With the raw power that both characters have as well as their regeneration, it means that neither one will be going down very quickly. I suppose that it’s unlikely we will have Riot show up again in a sequel since the next film will likely feature the fan favorite Carnage as the villain. We’ll see if that guy can really match up to Riot though.

Naturally this film does have an after credits scene so you may want to stick around for that. It’s a fairly low key scene involving a character who certainly doesn’t seem to be very interesting, but you could argue that this side of him doesn’t actually matter. The real deal will show up soon. It’s definitely a good stinger for the next film though. It does its job of cluing you in as to what will happen next time as opposed to just going for a quick gag. There is another scene at the end, but that one’s just a preview for Spider Verse so you don’t need to stick around for that. Having previews for other films don’t count and shouldn’t be left for the end unless it’s a direct sequel or something like that.

While the lobster scene wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be I definitely don’t think it was needed in the film. All the scenes of Eddie just eating random stuff just didn’t age particularly well and showing him trying to deal with being the host to Venom could have just been shown through the voice in his head. Why would Venom be trolling him like this? Also, the film briefly delves into the whole “The symbiote will destroy you from the inside” plot, but in Eddie’s case he should have believed Venom. He had already seen the regeneration in action so why wouldn’t that keep working to protect him? Worst case is that he becomes dependent on the symbiote to live, but if that’s the case then so be it. Venom seems like a trust worthy guy.

This film also keeps up Sony’s trend of having scenes from the trailer show up at the very end of the movie. It’s a pretty interesting strategy as you keep waiting for the moments to arrive and almost start to think that maybe they were cut until they finally show up at the end. An example of this is the deli scene near the end that basically everyone knows about since it was in the trailer and probably a lot of TV spots. It’s a pretty fun way to end the film I suppose. It’s one of the perks about being more of a villain who just helps out the world for his own reasons. If Batman, Spiderman, or another hero did this then it would be time to write a lot of quick editorials about how this was a terrible mistake. When Venom does it? Eh, it’s no real problem. Venom’s not the kind of guy who typically spares people. At least he didn’t destroy the cops right? When done right characters like this can have some pretty interesting story arcs. Eddie doesn’t really seem to care much about hiding his identity and pretty soon the villains are going to be terrified of him. The crime rate should drop quite a bit in his home town although he will have to make sure to be at least a little more subtle before the government starts going after him.

Venom’s also fairly tame with the violence considering that at one point it was possibly going to be R. It just goes to show that the film didn’t need it and honestly no film has ever been improved by upping the rating that far. All it does is water films down with excessive content so I’m glad that the sequel is going to stay like this one. With the cool effects we’ve already seen here we are guaranteed to have some really fun fights as it is. It also makes sense to keep the opponents to symbiotes since it will be tough for a normal opponent to hope to fight Venom. Even Spider-Man likely wouldn’t stand a chance against this version of Venom although since his spider-sense should work it could still be a good fight.

Overall, Venom was a solid film. It delivered on the action scenes and it’s also good to have a lead like Eddie who is very down to Earth and looks after the every day guy. He keeps on helping the neighborhood and won’t let fame cloud his mind. It’ll be nice to see him in the sequel as his confidence should be a lot higher and he’ll have his life under control once again. So long as the sequel stays on point and maybe fixes up the writing, it could definitely be quite the title to look out for. If you haven’t seen this film yet then you should try to fix that while you still can. Its theater run won’t last forever after all. Minor thing to watch out for as well, the film decided to drop the whole SymBYote thing so…if you’re watching for that line then keep this in mind.

Overall 6/10