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Event Horizon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Event Horizon is one of those films that reminds me why I’d never want to be stuck anywhere in outer space or underwater. At the end of the day you’re stuck with a bunch of people that could go crazy at any point. Sure you might know them to an extent but being on your own for a long amount of time can change everything. This film slowly has the cast cracking and the whole time you’re shaking your head. They lack the willpower to succeed!

The movie starts with a crew being formed to try and find a spaceship that went missing many years ago. The crew isn’t thrilled about this since they were on vacation but hey a mission’s a mission right? Well Dr. Weir will be coming with them to explain the specifics since this mission is very different from most. Of course that’s another reason for the crew to dislike the mission since they aren’t finding out the truth until they’re stuck in space. Basically they have to use some super experimental technology to jump through a wormhole into another dimension to grab the ship and then head back. Sure it didn’t work for the first ship but the tech is better now! Well they do the jump and make it to the other ship but now their ship is busted. The heroes are ready to make the repairs but weird things start happening. The crew see visions and are slowly going crazy. Will they ever be able to go home?

So this film’s mostly pretty bad but I can say it wasn’t all bad. I really liked the music. Seriously it was pretty great, felt like I was entering some kind of big action movie. Mix that in with the sci-fi effects and yeah this definitely seemed like a winner. That being said, It’s one of the only positives I can really say about the film. The rest of it tends to go for a lot of shock value and just doesn’t seem like a good idea when you’re trying to be a good film. The characters make a bunch of awful decisions and while you can blame some of it on “the darkness” it doesn’t help them.

Okay so lets start with Dr. Weir. At first he seems fairly reasonable. He wants to complete this mission and is taking it super seriously. He doesn’t get into space as much as the crew so he doesn’t really comprehend the dangers but he did build this experimental sci-fi tech so if anyone knows how to pull this off then it should be him. Unfortunately he has significant skeletons in the closet which start to break him. The ship shows everyone illusions and so of course his are easy to pull out from the past. It’s a rather brutal one and the whole build up to the tragedy is rough.

The film loves its special effects to make the characters as ugly as possible. Lets just say there is a ton of violence in this film. I would easily put it on the high end for a horror film. Not just because of what happens in the present like multiple characters getting impaled, disfigured, and blown up in the vacuum of space but also in the quick flashes the characters get when the ship is messing with their minds. It’s typically all happening so fast that you can barely even tell what is happening, only that there’s something bloody and disturbing on the screen.

Still even with the visions it’s hard to feel any sympathy for Weir. The guy is really responsible for this mission in the first place so he needed to hold it together. By the end he is a complete pawn who wouldn’t even be all right if his plan succeeds which hurts quite a lot. As a villain if you don’t really have a grand master plan or anything like that then you are basically just spinning your wheels. You’re not actually doing anything and at that point you’re just a psycho.

Starck serves as the main heroine here and does her best. She is able to resist the illusions better than most of the characters and has to put up with everyone being really slow on the uptake. The most annoying moment for her had to be when the captain told her to find an explanation on what was going on. She did find the reason (evil spirits) but he didn’t believe her. It’s a shame because by this point in the film you’d think that would be a very credible option. Seriously you had everyone seeing crazy illusions, things not working as they should and a mysterious reactor turning on when that’s supposed to be impossible? You’d think the captain would hear her out at least.

Miller is the captain and for the most part he looks good. While he didn’t believe Starck, at least he did spend most of his screen time trying to keep the crew from murdering each other. He had a tight grasp of what it means to be a leader and was always making the hard calls. I would say he was the most reasonable member of the team and was also able to realize that the spirit was manipulating him with the past later on. He has a big scene in the end as well. The guy was definitely real determined.

Throughout the movie you’ve really got a big survival thriller feel going on. In general that should be solid as the characters try to live but with the evil spirit using the powers of memories and illusions it’s just not thrilling. You already know the characters will fall for this and that there isn’t much they can do about it. That’s the most annoying part about all of this. For example one character sees her son running around the spaceship. Obviously there is no way he can be here and yet she falls for it anyway.

It’s up to you to determine to just what extent the spirit has full mental control over the characters but evidently it is a massive amount. The characters seem to be completely unable to resist its control at times and other times they at least know that something iffy is going on. I think if you cut out all of the random violence then you may have something here. Perhaps it will be less “exciting” in terms of action but I think the movie would be able to hold its own. The way it is there just isn’t anything to like about it once the spirit starts to make its presence felt. Seeing the characters start to get corrupted one after another is supremely annoying.

As you’d expect the ending does have a bit of a horror zinger to end things off with but it’s a bi more passive than you’d expect. I actually think the movie could have been a whole lot bolder here. The ending is definitely throwing some strong implications at you and of course I’m on the side that everyone’s doomed but you can always look at the ending in a different way. It’s certainly open for interpretation.

Overall, Event Horizon really went off the deep end. The initial scenes are decent, I would say it started out well. It all just goes downhill once the evil spirit starts to consume everyone and trick them into being destroyed. The film starts to feel aimless as it’s just about everyone dying in gruesome ways. Additionally there seems to be no real way to escape the evil influence or to fight back against it so everything seems futile. The idea of being alone in space with something after you is absolutely solid but they should go with a more tangible threat next time. Something like….an alien!

Overall 1/10

“Was I a Fraud?” Lets rank these big villains

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The term “Fraud” is thrown around quite a lot nowadays. I would say it’s temporarily become a bigger term than “Mid” and of course these terms always come and go as the years go by. Right now is a particularly fun time in manga world though with Sukuna, All For One, and Code constantly getting dunked on in every chapter by people online. So I thought, why not take a quick deep dive into some of the bigger cases of “Fraud Watch” and rank them all? I’ll be listing each character from least to most fraudulent. In each villain’s case I’ll quickly give a summary of the character, the series of origin, and the “Fraud” reasons I’ve seen posted online. I’ll then counter with how valid he reasons are.

I’m limiting this to one series so in each case it’s the one I saw listed the most and also factoring how big the character is. The one series this was tough to decide on was One Piece. Big Meme and Useless Captain Mid were the two runner ups from the fan terms but I would say I’ve still been seeing this the most for Kaido and it’s a bit bizarre. So no spoilers but we’re starting off with him because I don’t think you can make any kind of case for him being fraudulent. Not a valid one at least. Now without further adieu lets talk about the 9 characters with the most allegations here! (Really wish I could have thought of one more to make this a top 10 but I feel like there’s no obvious pick for that last spot.

Note that this list will have spoilers for One Piece, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Hero Academia, Boruto, Naruto, Fairy Tail, Black Clover, Attack on Titan, and Seven Deadly Sins

9. Kaido

Kaido is a huge villain from One Piece. The guy was hyped up as the most powerful One Piece villain for a long while. “Land, Sea, or Air, always bet on Kaido!” was his official slogan and even Oda had an interview where he wasn’t sure how Luffy would deal with this guy. His arc is currently the longest one in all of One Piece and he went through a complete gauntlet of fighters. He fought back to back the following fighters: Strawhat Luffy Gears 1-4, Zoro, Kid, Law, Killer, The Akaza 8, Yamato, Awakened Momo, Awakened Yamato, and of course Luffy in G5 mode. He was fighting for an incredible amount of time and basically took on the all of the relevant main characters. So yeah you can see why I don’t find him fraudulent in the slightest. Just look at how many hits the guy tanked!?

Fraud Watch!:

1. Wasn’t able to kill a single character during the fight on the roof
2. In particular could not finish off Orochi, the CP0 agent, or Kinemon despite attacking with the intent to kill
3. Possibly lost before using his hybrid mode
4. Started to get humiliated by Toon Force towards the end
5. Went out without a complete backstory
6. His cause of potential death was underwhelming

All right so I’d say off the bat we can throw out number 5. It’s a valid reason for not liking Kaido but I’d argue it doesn’t make him a fraud. For #1 and #2, yeah he probably should have murdered some of those characters. Most shouldn’t have been surviving those hits but I would lessen that a bit to plot armor. For the most part he wasn’t actively making choices that made no sense. He was intending to murder the characters and should have for all intents and purposes. So I wouldn’t place the burden of that on him.

#3 is still debated to this day but the anime used the hybrid color palette for him so most fans would agree he actually was in hybrid mode and so this should be thrown out. For #4, I would argue he wasn’t humiliated. Sure he got beat up a whole lot but Luffy was the one scared at times in a comedy sort of way. Kaido mainly kept a straight face and at the end of the day he just got beat up. So definitely not a fraud and he shouldn’t be on the list. The fact that he’s been getting mentioned a lot was part of my inspiration for this.

8. Acnologia

This is another case where people need to calm down. Acnologia is the final boss of Fairy Tail. A dragon of such immense power that he is said to be able to end the world. Nobody dares oppose him and he ends up taking on all of the Dragon Slayers at once. This guy got a lot of hype but I would say he earned it. It took a whole lot to take him out and to even beat him two different groups of heroes had to attack him on different planes of existence. The way he may have went out wasn’t great but I’d attribute it more to power of friendship than fraud. He got ringed out once which people found funny but lets face it, that’s still not an L.

Fraud Watch!

1. He got taken out in one punch
2. Retroactively he is no longer the strongest as Fairy Tail 100 introduces at least 5 dragons who are on his level and possibly stronger
3. Couldn’t destroy the ships attacking him in the real world
4. Couldn’t destroy any of the fighters

You’re going to notice a lot of similarities on the Fraud Watch reasons which makes sense but you’ll also see me debunking them in mainly the same ways. For the first reason I’d say it’s fairly disingenuous. Acnologia did get taken out with a punch but that was after a whole lot of other fighting. Whenever someone says a villain got rolled in one hit I usually shake my head because unless that was the start of the fight it’s really not valid.

#2 is also fairly irrelevant, it happened later on so that’s fine. It’s like how Super had fighters more powerful than Buu or everyone in Boruto being able to dunk on Naruto villains, it doesn’t retroactively make them worse. #3 is the most valid point because it was plot hax that he didn’t stop Lucy and crew but hey he was distracted by Natsu and friends attacking him in the dragon world. I think it’s a fairly decent reason why he didn’t stop them and to #4, he did beat everyone up, destroying them just gets rather tricky. I’d say it would for basically any villain.

7. Lucifero

Lucifero, otherwise known as Bullyfero among the fanbase. Well this guy started out strong as the ultimate demon lord who was crushing everyone in his path. The guy got a whole lot of hype particularly as he was slaughtering the main cast at just 50% power. So why did everyone turn on him? Well things got dicey in the second half as he basically got beat up in a few seconds once Asta got his final super form (Asta was only able to keep it active for 5 seconds and blitzed the life out of this guy), then Lucifero got crushed by the other demon with his other 50% so badly that he looked pretty whiny. The guy ended up being treated like a minion in the end.

Fraud Watch!

1. Ultimately being toyed with by Lucius and not knowing it
2. Not being able to finish any of the heroes
3. Not being able to survive Asta’s 5 second barrage
4. Not having a backup plan and going out like a chump
5. Threatening to murder all of Asta’s friends as the cliffhanger and not taking any of them out

Lucifero’s a bit lower on the list mainly because the reasons hit a bit harder for him and are tougher to defend. The first point is pretty rough for the guy. It does invalidate a whole lot of his tough talk. Instead of being a grand mastermind he ended up being played for the fool here. For #2 and #5, they particularly hurt him on the re read. When you marathon the climax now, he looks pretty bad since he talks really tough for the first half but then starts to get spanked. The other demon doesn’t respect him at all and of course he gets humiliated at the end.

#3 is also pretty tough for him because losing in 5 seconds is tough. Yes, he was fighting before that so there is extra context here but even then it’s tough just because of how exaggeratedly short that timer is. No backup plan is also pretty bad for him since he had that other 50% everyone was waiting for. I still like Lucifero quite a lot but I get the allegations. I would just say he pushes through past them and is still a serious threat.

6. Kaguya

Kaguya was the final boss of Naruto and a super controversial figure. Most people preferred Madara to be the final boss and if he wasn’t going to be then people would have wanted that title to go to Obito. Instead Kaguya assumed the throne right away and unfortunately got crushed fairly quick. It’s always the tough part about showing up at the end. She was very powerful and it took the powers of Team 7 to beat her but she didn’t get many lines and also seemed to be very unintelligent.

Fraud Watch!

1. Having no control of her own abilities and putting herself in a bad spot
2. Getting momentarily stunned by Naruto’s sexy jutsu
3. Unable to react to Sakura’s attack from the top
4. Not having any real personality
5. Feeling underwhelming power-wise considering her title

The first one is very valid. She basically created ninjutsu and has powers and experience well above the main fighters. It should be very easy for her to teleport to a realm where the heroes have the disadvantage and finish them off or just leave them there as a ring out. It feels like we didn’t get to see most of her arsenal at all so her losing wasn’t very satisfying.

#2 is just plain embarrassing. There’s no real defending that one. I will defend her from #3 though, it was the middle of a fight and contrary to the memes Sakura is very powerful. Not a top tier sure but it was a combination move so I’m fine with the attack landing. #4 is valid, I wouldn’t say it’s something to put her on fraud watch but it does add to why a lot of people don’t like her much.

#5 is the most valid and why I would say she deserves to be on Fraud Watch. She was the final boss but I would argue most would still put Madara above her in terms of ability. I think some would even say Obito should be above her and I would agree with that. Kaguya’s taijutsu skills seemed to only be decent and while she had a lot of power and speed, it felt like she didn’t have a ton of skill. So it was easier for Naruto and Sasuke to outmanuever her the whole time. The fraud allegations feel real because she did not live up to the hype as the strongest opponent even though that definitely seemed to be the intention.

5. Sukuna

All right we’ve made it to the King of Spirits! The ultimate fighter in Jujutsu Kaisen and some would argue the most powerful character in the series. At least that’s his rep and he’s been hyped since day 1. Well the allegations are coming in fast and hard due to his having a lot of difficulty against Satoru Gojo, the man with the powers of infinity. Mainly the allegations have arrived because Sukuna is not fighting Gojo one on one. He’s currently possessing the body of Gojo’s pseudo son Megumi (Not really related but Gojo got Megumi out of a toxic family and helped raise him), using Megumi’s powers, and is using Megumi himself as a shield to redirect half of the damage from each of Gojo’s attacks. Is this him being a fraud or him being smart?

Fraud Watch!

1. Sukuna got knocked out mid fight
2. Sukuna keeps mocking Gojo and talking smack about being the strongest while using all of this extra help
3. Sukuna’s basically using a hostage throughout the fight
4. All of Sukuna’s own abilities have been completely negated so far with his only damage coming thanks to Megumi

All right so the first one is pretty tough because yeah he was fully knocked out. So without backup that’d be it, it would have been curtains for the guy. #2 is also rough because the guy keeps knocking Gojo and acting like he’s been clobbering the fight when at best you could say he’s close to going even. Now the fight is still going and lots can still happen, we can find out Sukuna was only using 1% of his power or something. As with any ongoing series this can all be moot pretty fast but at the moment it’s not looking good for him.

With #3, it’s a smart villain move of course but it’s also valid as a fraud component in the sense of him not living up to the hype for now. Basically Sukuna absolutely needs to win this fight desperately so he can admit that he wasn’t even trying yet. Because tying in with #4, his Domain Expansion just didn’t work. He actually got to use it and Gojo straight up tanked the attack. That’s the kind of thing that doesn’t reflect well on Sukuna since so far it’s the only true ability of his that we’ve seen. Definitely one of the more hype battles going on right now but the pressure is absolutely on. And if Sukuna were to actually lose this fight (Which is super doubtful) that would really be game over.

4. All For One

All For One is one of the most important villains in all of My Hero Academia. He was the counterpart to All Might and ruled the world through fear for years before the hero came into town. He has virtually an unlimited amount of quirks as he has been stealing them through the years and has a lifetime of battle experience. The allegations came when he returned in the final arc and has been defeating all of his opponents but not without incurring a lot of damage and getting outmaneuvered the whole time. Is that enough to call him a fraud?

Fraud Watch!

1. Allowing All Might to goad him into battle
2. Not stealing the powers of the heroes he was fighting
3. Having trouble dealing with the heroes when he has all these incredible abilities
4. Monologuing a ton when his body is literally dying with every minute he wastes
5. Starting to seem delusional

Okay so All For One’s hecklers really started coming along during #3 and #2. He’s been flying around the battlefield defeating his opponents but having a surprisingly hard time doing it. He couldn’t take out Jirou and the others with his energy attack, she actually tanked it straight up. Then they’ve been making fun of him the whole time and of course he doesn’t really care but the fact that he couldn’t shut them up was dicey. Also, taking powers is apparently as easy as grabbing the person and draining the power as we’ve seen before so why not just grab each of them with super speed and take the abilities? He decided not to take Hawks or Dark Shadow when he was in a position to and it’s odd since he was thinking about it earlier. Even if he doesn’t need it, it would help a whole lot right?

#1 and #4 escalated the issue since he is rapidly de-aging right now. If he doesn’t get to Shigaraki to complete the merge quickly he will literally fade out of existence. Knowing that, he is still making a lot of very long speeches and allowing All Might to get the best of him. You can’t do that and he’s been justifying this. He knows that it’s a trap but equates it to taking out the trash and seems to think this will be easy. Well it hasn’t been easy yet as he’s having a very hard time right now while getting younger and younger. He can absolutely make a comeback but it has been a real rough period for the guy particularly just since with his power level he should have no diff’d pretty much the whole cast that he was fighting. You’d need big shots like Deku to really take him out.

3. Eren Yeager

Eren is one of the most controversial villains of all time and for good reason. He’s the greatest character in Attack on Titan and carried the post timeskip arcs hard but then the author fumbled the bag at the end and turned him into one of the biggest jokes in all of media history. The guy cried about wanting a girlfriend and it turns out that he had no idea what he wanted to do. All of his convictions and inner thoughts turned out to be lies and the ending was filled with more holes than a bowl of swiss cheese. Yeah I absolutely think he has to be on fraud watch.

Fraud Watch!

1. Literally asleep during the climax
2. Turned his back on all his dreams and ideals
3. Suddenly had no self respect or dignity
4. Had powers over time and reality yet couldn’t defend himself
5. Wasted everyone’s time including his own
6. Left his people in the worst shape possible

I’m not going to defend Eren unfortunately. His whole thing was about taking out the Titans and never relenting. We had a whole scene where Reiner told him to go to sleep back in the day and that just made Eren more upset. Now? Well he does fall asleep because he decides to just let destiny play out and have the friends take him down. This doesn’t work though because he had seen the future so he knows very well what will happen. It just makes him look bad and he turned back on everything.

All of his lines up til now? Meaningless. His drive was all fake and his goals were never something he was serious about. This all happens because of #4. Eren gained the ability to transcend time. He exists in the past, present, and future which is the worst thing you can do as a writer because it makes the character completely unstoppable. When you have that level of control and can control the actions of all titans, you can’t lose. It’s why we had to get this whole retcon about Eren not really wanting to win and ditching everybody. Nah that was a really bad way to go and I will always remember the ending as the worst one in Shonen history. Eren is one of the biggest frauds out there.

2. Code

Now we’re getting to the biggest frauds out there. Code is a villain from Boruto and fortunately for him the series is still going so he can change things. This guy has lost almost every single fight that he has been in and his fans aren’t hearing the end of it. The guy was supposed to be so strong that he could wipe the floor with Naruto and Sasuke yet he was dominated by Boruto, humiliated by Kawaki, embarrassed by Eida, and then crushed by Daemon. Finally he just got stepped on by Boruto in his first appearance post timeskip. Is there any saving him?

Fraud Watch!

1. Always getting humiliated
2. Talking tough but can’t control the room
3. Has no good comebacks for when the characters humiliate him
4. Couldn’t control his feelings for Eida

Boruto should still have a lot of years left in the tank so Code could pull off a comeback but it does look like it would have to be a miracle. The problem for the guy is the power creep passed him before he could look good. He’s lost to virtually every heavyweight in the series, cementing him as the weakest out of the top tiers. Part of the problem is that he’s always used to make other characters look good, meaning that he himself never actually gets to shine. I think this was actually an accident, but either way it doesn’t reflect well on him as a character. He can’t talk this tough when he’s always being humiliated. Getting stepped on was probably the last straw there.

Eida’s power is also hard to resist but it’s still embarrassing for him to fall in love with her and get rejected so harshly. Then losing to her little brother? From a power level perspective it makes sense but nobody takes him seriously in the series and the disrespect he gets is completely unreal. The characters never give him even the slightest break and you end up feeling bad for him. That’s not the kind of thing you want to feel for the villain. When you feel pity like that then it’s all over!

1. Demon King

Now we’re at the villain I would say is the biggest fraud in all of anime/manga. Yes, it’s the Demon King! Cool name right? Well it’s not enough but this guy is from the Seven Deadly Sins series. He’s the most powerful villain around (Until he was surpassed real hard in the Apocalypse series) and the whole series you were waiting for him to show up. The problem is that by the time he appeared, Meliodas was already stronger than him. Yet the guy went up against the Seven Deadly Sins. One of the biggest inditements against him is the fact that the heroes were grinning while he was trying to threaten him.

Fraud Watch!

1. The heroes within the series couldn’t take him seriously
2. He spent multiple chapters getting dunked on by everyone
3. Meliodas didn’t even bother using his final form to fight him
4. Demon King didn’t notice and kept gloating even as he was being crushed

Yeah all of the reasons are completely valid here so I can’t debunk any of them. The first point is probably the worst for the guy because when the heroes are kicking back and grinning you really can’t take this guy seriously. How could you when they don’t? You almost felt bad for him the whole time. It ties into the second point where everyone was just using their super attacks on him. It reminds me of the average Shonen Jump movie where everyone appears to do their super attack and leaves. Imagine that but to a canon villain who is supposed to be the most powerful of all. Trust me it’s extremely brutal.

To the third point, yeah Meliodas was casually crushing the guy and wasn’t even using his purified max power mode. The fact was that he seriously didn’t need to. He temporarily uses it at the very end to mitigate damage to the area but he was dunking on the guy even without it. That has to be one of the most embarrassing moments for a villain out there. How do you recover from this? The 4th point is also just bad because he’s still talking so tough. The only thing worse than having the heroes disrespect you the whole time is not noticing and continuing to talk big anyway. Yeah that’s not something you ever want to happen.

So there you have it, from least to most fraudulent that’s how I’d rank the 9 characters I hear about the most. For the most part it’s rare for a big villain to actually be a fraud the way that people say but I still enjoy the memes regardless. Keep em coming, I’ll be grinning every time! Even if a villain ends up being fraudulent you can still be a big fan though because those intro scene aren’t going anywhere even if the final ones aren’t particularly hype. Not every villain can go out a winner of course. Well I mean one can…but he’s the greatest!

Bass EXE

Bill & Ted Face the Music Review

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It’s time for the next Bill & Ted movie to jump in. That being said, I would have to say that it is the weakest one in the series. The main mistake if you ask me is that it doesn’t focus on Bill & Ted enough and they are still the best characters in the film. The subplot of their daughters running around assembling a team feels a lot weaker in comparison. The film will still have a good amount of funny moments to keep you going but you do feel like it is just missing something that the first two had.

The movie starts with Bill and Ted in a bit of a jam. They have not been able to create the legendary song that will stop the universe from blowing up and now they only have a few hours left. They figure their only chance is to travel to the future where their future selves have already created the song and then steal it from them. It’s a pretty clever plan that might just work. While they’re gone, Billie and Thea decide to help out as well. So they go across time to grab the best musicians from across the multiverse so when Bill and Ted find the song, they will have the best people playing it. The only thing standing in their way is Dennis, a Terminator type robot from the future who is doing his best to try and destroy them. A single blast is all it would take so they need to try and stay one step ahead of him or it’s all over.

Now the films have always been more on the comedic side and lean on being as absurd as possible but the first two films did still have more of a sense of danger about them. For example we already had evil doppelganger androids on the prowl. They were actually kind of serious and did effectively take out the main duo. Dennis is a major step down because the guy has big confidence issues and always doubts himself. Sure he can fight and use the lasers but he’s not proud about that. He would rather not be in the limelight and so he spends the whole film doing a lot of whining. He’s got to be the most annoying character here.

Then I would say Kelly isn’t a great replacement for Rufus. She tries to help the heroes out and spends most of the film using the “I told you so!” approach but she doesn’t have his charisma. In general she just doesn’t feel quite as on top of things. She is younger so that makes sense to an extent but you’re already seeing how all of the angles are just a bit weaker than the first two films. This continues with Billie and Thea.

So in theory these two characters exist to futureproof the series. They could take over the reigns if Bill and Ted get too old or the movies have a hard time getting the actors back. The problem is that they are so heavily introduced as being just like Bill and Ted that they don’t have much going for them. Their banter and dynamic certainly doesn’t match the original’s and right now I don’t see them being able to do much fighting when necessary. They are overshadowed in all of their scenes and so far just aren’t all that funny.

So once again it’s up to Bill and Ted to carry the film. To their credit they do a really good job of that. The Bill and Ted scenes are still a lot of fun as they mess everything up and are always confused. It’s always extreme but you never feel bored. For example when they are in the counseling session and trying to make things right with their wives. They suggest some solutions and do so with absolute confidence which you love to see. It’s obvious that they’re going up the wrong tree but it’s all about the confidence in their delivery.

The movie is just at its best when it’s about these two messing around and isn’t trying to get serious or emotional. The few serious scenes we do get can’t quite compete. For example the climax of finally playing the big song doesn’t work all that effectively. Perhaps it’s just played too directly without any kind of subversion but either way I’d have done a few more gags instead.

The music in general is okay but nothing all that exciting. The best piece of music in the film is likely the electric guitar that the main characters play once in a while. The actual songs got a bit too experimental this time so they weren’t all that catchy or anything like that. It’s easy to see why nobody likes their music in universe. They just don’t sound all that great or really know how to get a steady beat going. There wasn’t much for the legendary musicians to do either. They show up to help but their music doesn’t sound incredible either because they aren’t given much to play.

In the end the film should have really leaned into Bill and Ted having one last adventure. They can absolutely hold their own film and have already done so in the past. Mix in the fun time travelling and unique method to solve it and you have a lot of fun elements here. With more time for this subplot we could have seen them explore more of these alternate futures a bit more. It would be a win all the way through and likely enough to jump it up a star or two. A comedy film is only as good as the amount of humor it’s got in store after all and this one just wasn’t as consistently funny as it needed to be.

Overall, Bill and Ted may have its moments here and there but for the most part it really is just a big step down from the first two titles. Any scene you enjoy here has likely already been done but in a more impressive fashion in the first two films. This one is trying to juggle a little too much and as a result that means it has to really delegate the screen time between all of the characters. I’m not surprised that everyone turned on the main duo but you’d think the council would have been keeping in contact with them a bit sooner so this wasn’t a surprise at the end. Considering that the end of the universe is at stake you’d think they would be doing everything possible in order to help out. I guess that wasn’t to be though. In the end the film’s pretty harmless fun so it’s an easy one to recommend if you want something to check out but it could have been a whole lot better.

Overall 5/10

Side Street Review

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The tagline here is a little misleading since Joe didn’t just happen to wander into some cash. Nah he just went and stole it. The film’s basically about a guy who becomes a small time criminal but is completely in over his head against the more experienced ones. Look you’re not going to beat a career criminal when you’re jumping in as someone new to the game. It’s just not happening and so things don’t go very well for Joe throughout the movie. He’s constantly on the back foot here.

The movie starts off with giving us some context as to why Joe went down the dark path. He’s not doing very well financially and his wife Ellen is having a kid. He wants to get some extra money and fast so he went the easy route of becoming a criminal. He stole some money from a lawyer while making his rounds but what he didn’t realize is that he stole a huge sum because that guy was another crook being blackmailed by a third group of crooks. Ultimately Joe has just gotten himself into a whole conspiracy and he has absolutely no clue on what to do here. The guy is completely and utterly out of his depth.

Now the film has a narrator that does his best to make you feel bad for Joe. He tries to explain how none of this is Joe’s fault and all of that, how anyone could crack in those circumstances so you should just ignore him. Not everyone would just think to start stealing, in fact most wouldn’t. So the guy’s trying to create a bunch of excuses for Joe and it just doesn’t line up. The film can be a bit heavy handed with trying to make you feel bad for Joe. Sure it’s a rotten situation but he really caused all of this trouble for himself without a doubt.

This is a fairly old school noir with a lot going on so you should be engaged the whole time. The pacing is good so even though the film is not super long, it feels like a lot happens regardless. Since Joe is in the dark the whole time as well as the viewer you don’t get all of the details for a while. You have more context than he does though and you get to have a fun time back seat driving as he makes mistake after mistake. I’m sure everyone groaned in the theaters when Joe decided to leave his fortune with a random bartender. Really now?

That was super sloppy. I don’t care if it’s your best friend, you should never leave a fortune with anyone because that’s a lot of temptation. It’s literally life changing money and Nick (The bar tender) probably should have just left town to be honest. Travel to a different country and never look back. Nothing good can come out of sticking around and he sure found that out the hard way. You literally have kids trying to make a buck in this movie and are willing to sell people out. You can’t trust anyone.

It’s all the most tragic for Ellen though just being thrown into the middle of this when she had no clue what was going on. She clearly would not have signed off on Joe’s plan which is why he had to do all of this in secret. If he had talked things over with her then the whole situation could have been avoided and everything would have been a lot cleaner. Meanwhile we have the main police captain Anderson trying to solve this case but his role is a lot smaller than I would have guessed.

From his scene at the beginning of the film you figure he will be close to one of the main characters but instead he vanishes for large portions of the film. It’s a shame since he’s such a fun character but I suppose not everyone can get to steal the show. As for the villains, they’re fairly standard here. You have the main blackmailer who is confident and knows how to play the long game. His decision to pretend he didn’t know what Joe was talking about when the guy tried to return the money was clever. He wasn’t about to fall for some kind of sting operation.

Then you had the right hand man who was a good enforcer. He was always ready to rough some people up if they started to get annoying, sort of like Joe. Joe also loses more points because he ends up cracking and getting seduced by one of the villains. She broke him real quick and I don’t want to hear any of Joe’s excuses on that. He’s just a pretty bad character all the way around but fortunately in a Noir title like this you don’t necessarily need a great main character.

It all comes down to the writing and story after all. Fortunately that was on point the whole time. I thought the story was interesting all the way through so that makes this one a winner. I would say what keeps it from moving forward though is there isn’t a specific angle that I could say stuck out. It’s a good noir film but if I was recommending a film in the genre to someone then this probably wouldn’t be one of the first 20 names that I would think of. It’s a case of it just being lost in the shuffle.

I suppose we at least do have a big car chase scene in the end. The driver of the taxi was not very smart at all though. Why would you start to run when someone has a gun and really wants to complete the mission? As the driver I think your best bet is to quickly crash into something and then run out while the passengers are stunned. It’s a high risk strategy of course but I do think it should work more often than not and what do you have to lose? You’ll definitely die if you don’t do anything.

Overall, Side Street is a good movie. There is always a lot of things going on so you will want to pay attention to every character. It’s also a cautionary tale about how committing a small crime can suddenly get you mixed up into something big. A crime’s a crime after all no matter how small. I’d like to see the police get a bigger role if we ever get a remake to this so we can see more of what’s going on though. By following Joe it feels like we miss out on a lot of the action.

Overall 6/10

The Black Scorpion Review

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With a title like the Black Scorpion you’re expecting massive hype and lots of creature action right? Well, it takes a very long time for the big scorpion to show up. Once it does we do get a good amount of screen time but for that whole first half you’re just wondering what happened. Surely they wouldn’t be keeping the main draw of the film on the shelf for so long right? Well sometimes that’s just how it happens I guess. It’s still a decently good movie but one with relatively low replay value and loses to the average creature feature.

The movie starts off with a pair of archeologists driving around when they notice an abandoned police car. Eventually they find an empty house with a baby in it and a corpse nearby. There was no blood around though so how was this guy taken down so easily? His gun had also already fired all of its bullets. Well no time to worry about that, the characters do more investigating and sleuthing until it turns out that there are Giant Scorpions running around! They’re murdering everybody and now the heroes have to think of a way to stop them before the entire town is destroyed. First the Scorpions will destroy the town….and then the world!

Lets talk about some of the positives here first. I do think that the writing is pretty solid. It’s not amazing or anything but it makes logical sense and the script should keep you decently engaged. I like how serious everyone is about the giant scorpion threat and that the government actually gets to look decent. The two leads get rather cocky after blowing up some of the Scorpions so that they basically don’t want to hear about there being any survivors. The government puts a stop to that real quick and it’s rare to see them pull rank like that.

Additionally this allows the film to effectively have two climaxes. You have the first one in the caves and then the second one on the go when the Scorpion returns to cause vengeance. So that was pretty solid because you don’t see that happening very often. In a way the humans got super lucky here because they fumbled the bag on several occasions (Letting all the poison get destroyed, missing the target with their thunder arrow, etc) but the giant scorpion ended up destroying most of the competition on its own so that bought some time. If the Scorpions had actually teamed up with each other and with the other giant creatures then it would have been over. You could have packed humanity up, they would have stood no chance.

Even that idea (One monster destroying the rest) is one that you don’t see very often. So you’ve got some decent ideas here but the film doesn’t really make them as exciting as they could be. The giant monster fights were fairly decent though, we had some classic wrestling and all of that. All of the creatures were absolutely doomed against the big scorpion though. They never stood a chance! I felt bad for the big one in the end though, of course you know the humans have to win eventually but it was so close!

As for the main characters, well they were just pretty annoying the whole time. As I mentioned they got too cocky about beating all of the scorpions to the point where they didn’t even wanna take the government serious about their chances of being alive. Then near the beginning of the film when a lady falls off her horse it felt like they immediately jumped into a lot of flirting. She seriously had to say she was fine like 5 times before they finally got the hint and backed off. Of course we still get the obligatory romance after that which was super rushed and unneeded. These films don’t always need a romance!

Of course the worst character is the local kid who was trying to help. He disobeys orders numerous times and stows away in their vehicles more than once. In each instance he just ends up causing a lot of trouble. The worst part about him is really that he has no remorse the whole time. The guy will try to explain why what he did was wrong and the kid will just say again that he was trying to help. No apology, no “I’ll never do it again” or anything like that. So you know the kid absolutely would do this again and no lesson was learned.

Then even the local cops don’t look great here as we have a super unnecessary character death near the end. The main captain misses his shot so he goes to pick up the thunder arrow but everyone forgot to turn the charge off so he gets bumped off. The main characters then fire the second shot but that has to be one of the worst ways to go out. Because he should not have died in the first place. I’d be majorly peeved if that happened to me. Also it’s not like it was an easy shot at all, you have to aim for the weak spot by the creature’s throat while it’s running around and beating up the army. Also , props to the guys in the tanks getting up close and knowing they will be destroyed but just buying time for the heroes. That can’t have been an easy mission.

Overall, The Black Scorpion is a film where the humans tend to be annoying so you’re really going to have to be in it for the creatures. The Scorpions make for imposing villains with their huge tails and long reach. Definitely not a foe that you will want to take lightly and the movie shows just how dangerous they can be. They’re not super fast but when characters trip and don’t start their engines in time it means that the body count here will still be fairly large. I’d be down for a sequel to this some day. There’s always room for more creature feature films but I hope the humans can be a bit more likable here. Honestly you don’t have to do a lot to be a decent human in a film like this. Just make some decent plans and fight a bit, that’s all you gotta do. Also the creature should appear way earlier, the dead time before it was just too long. I mean it’s an old film so at least the dialogue is good enough where you can still get through the first half just fine but it’s very noticeable considering the film’s name when the title creature takes so long to appear.

Overall 6/10

Commando Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Commando is one of those classic thrillers where the main character takes names and blasts everybody. It’s not trying to really be much more than that and yet everything is executed at a consistently high level. The plot is also very different from what you would expect going in and it really nailed this subversion. Seriously the main character actually did feel like a top tier pro and handled things the right way. This is absolutely the guy you want covering your back when the going gets tough.

The movie starts off with a string of murders and it turns out that they were all ex teammates of Matrix. Matrix has retired a while back and is trying to live a normal life taking care of his daughter. So he doesn’t want to get back into the game but the option is taken out of his hands when his home is attacked. He fights off most of the invaders but they still kidnap his daughter so Matrix is told he will have to go murder the president of a different country to get his daughter back. Matrix agrees and comes up with a clever plan. Basically the villains have 3 different cushions here to prevent betrayal. They have two guys walking with Matrix to the airport. One will ride in the plane with him while a second watches the plane take off. If the boss doesn’t hear from both of them then the daughter dies. So Matrix waits until the plane takes off and murders the guy in the plane, then he jumps off. He now has until the plane lands to rescue his daughter.

I love this for a bunch of reasons. The first is that there really isn’t much point in completing the mission because it’s clear that his daughter would be murdered regardless. These villains aren’t the kind that have any kind of honor code and so their word is completely worthless. The toughest part of course is figuring out a way around this setup which actually isn’t easy. I’ll give the villains a lot of credit there, it’s a fairly foolproof plan that would have succeeded if not for a good degree of luck on Matrix’s side. If the second villain had stayed watching the plane for another minute then this plan wouldn’t have worked. Additionally it counts on murdering the first thug without anyone noticing.

The second reason I like this mission is it’s a very clever way of having a thriller movie with a very strict time limit right from the start. It adds a little extra tension without a doubt and in general makes the film a bit more serious. I still wouldn’t call it dark or anything but it adds an edge where otherwise you’d just be grinning the whole time. Both sides know that the villains are not bluffing about bumping off his daughter after all so Matrix is really against the clock here.

Now granted, I do think Matrix’s plan was a bit roundabout. For example when he assumes control of a girl’s car and tells her to follow one of the villains…why not take that villain out earlier? Just beat him up and I’m positive he would give away the location of his boss or the meeting place real quick. That villain seemed as whiny as they come and would have generally low resistance to any kind of threats that Matrix would make. I feel like there just wasn’t a great reason for all of this running around with the guy especially since it ended up leading to a whole lot of wasted time that he would have liked to have in the end.

Matrix is still a great character though. I can’t demand perfection at every turn after all since he’s in a super stressful situation where things keep on changing. He takes a lot of opponents down and proves himself to be an excellent fighter both in hand to hand combat and with a firearm. The way he handled the first villain sitting on a chair who was trying to set up the blackmailing arrangement was great. “That’s how the situation is right?” “Wrong!” That’s not the exact wording but yeah it was great. The only main mistake I’d say was when Matrix got the civilian Cindy involved.

I didn’t think that whole part was necessary. The plan he gave her to basically seduce one of the villains to stall for time wasn’t a good one and it goes back to my earlier point how this roundabout strategy actually just wasted a lot of time. You can even see why Cindy sold him out because Matrix did seem like a villain from her POV. She just ended up being annoying because then she was quickly switching sides later on and hiding the facts. In general I didn’t like her but I will acknowledge that Matrix messed up during that whole bit.

As one of the main villains Bennett makes for an imposing guy. The cracks in his confidence show early but what I like is that he is at least on Matrix’s level. The guy can fight and actually fight rather well. He’s not like one of those villains who’s all bluster and no action. So I give him credit there and the personal connection between them made the animosity even more intense. I’ll take him over Arius as the more interesting villain any day. I’ll actually remember this guy after all.

The whole climax is a lot of fun as Matrix goes in blasting and really takes a lot of names. Of course there is definitely a whole lot of plot armor here, perhaps even more than you would be expecting. That said, it’s still just a lot of fun seeing him take out the equivalent of a whole army. He’s not taking any prisoners here which makes a whole lot of sense both based on his occupation and of course the stakes of trying to save his daughter. There’s no time to hold back and if anything it would probably place his own life in jeopardy if he was to try.

There was also a really good song that played near the end of the film. I’ll need to try and find it at some point because it really fit in well with the scene and was a very solid action film. I felt like the film really went in hard on all the technical aspects. The writing was great with a lot of really witty one liners as well. The pacing was on point and the character cast was solid. There’s a lot of replay value here and it’s the kind of film you could easily watch multiple times just because of the sheer fun factor here. The film’s a bit cheesy and heavy handed but completely embraces this and just makes effective use of that tone.

Overall, Commando is a pretty fun action film that you could really watch many times. It’s just over the top enough to be super entertaining without going too far and just being like a parody. I definitely didn’t have any big complaints with it. It’s really one of those films where you can feel its age but in a good way. The music is really on point here, the fights have a lot of hype and the writing is really smart. It may be a film that in some ways doesn’t stand out as being some kind of unforgettable experience but at the same time you’ll be grinning the whole time. Just when you think you’ve seen most of the films like this one, now you’ve got another title to keep you busy. If you want a thriller that balances the serious tone with some light hearted moments then this is the one for you.

Overall 8/10

Final Fantasy III Review

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It’s been a very long time since I completed Final Fantasy II. Finally it was time to get back in there for the third game. This one changes some things up with the mechanics and it’s pretty interesting how each of the first 3 games have had something experimental going on. I wonder if that will keep going with each title or if it’ll eventually settle into what I consider to be the classic RPG type.

The story starts with a vague message about light and darkness as we then cut to the main characters who are about to be tasked with saving the world. We’ve got a fairly varied crew here with a princess who is being a bit of a rebel, a classic hero type, a body guard, and other colorful characters. They have to bring the light back to the world and it turns out there are two worlds around as well. As you go to each land you learn more about the people and the troubles befalling them. The game’s early enough where I wouldn’t say the story is particularly deep but it is definitely there throughout compared to the first two games where often times there wasn’t really much dialogue happening at all.

Additionally a big change is that the main character himself can actually talk here. Trust me that’s a big change from the first two games where he was completely silent. I wouldn’t say that any of the characters particularly stand out though so that will be a job for the 4th game or maybe the installments after that. For now that just hasn’t happened yet and I would say the same is true of the villains. So that’s also part of why you won’t remember the story too clearly by the end either. You’re really here for the gameplay more than anything else so lets jump into that.

This game uses a classic level up system. You fight enemies in turn based combat and get stronger. One big change though is instead of an MP system you have magic divided into levels and none are learned as you level up. You have to buy each spell and then equip into the level slots for each character. Whether the character can actually use the spell will ultimately come down to which class you have equipped. Some classes simply can’t learn any spells and others can learn some but not others.

Aside from leveling up your own level you also level up the class that you have equipped as you go through the game. Everyone starts off with a standard class and then as the game goes on you can go into other ones. Ultimately I would say to leave Standard as soon as possible since it won’t help at all in the end. Also the reason you want to switch sooner than later is each class starts back at level 1 which lowers your attack power by a whole lot. For example if you’re level 70 but with a level 1 class then you’ll be hitting so weak that you may get folded by a level 40 opponent. Your equipment still comes into play as well but it can be tough enough to find strong weapons as it is.

I changed my class several times during the game which isn’t optimal so find your favorite one soon. I recommend one top tier healer class, 2 attacking ones, and then a dark mage. With that squad you will be well equipped to take on just about every challenge. I’m not going to say it is literally unbeatable or anything like that but it will be a very strong squad that is hard to stop. I was finally able to beat the game after getting everyone to level 75 and it still wasn’t what I would call easy so keep that in mind.

The final level is a boss rush of around 10 bosses which is really hard to deal with. You do get healed after 5 of those fights at least so you should plan them out well. In general this is one of my issues with the game though which is that you can only save outside of a dungeon. Some of these dungeons are fairly long so going all the way through one and then dying is rough. I lost to the final boss several times and it would always take around an hour to get back to where I was. It did help inflate the play time to over 40 hours but I think the game could have been a little more user friendly in that respect.

Meanwhile I also think the equipment could be a little less fussy. When you change classes all of your equipment is taken off because different classes accept different things. So often times you would have to go find a shop to get some equipment but most of the time the shop wouldn’t have all of the options. This then takes you back to square 1 which isn’t easy. Mix that in with a lack of a good map and that could make things tricky as well. Some of these issues really just come down to the game’s age but others are just game design choices that I would say did not work particularly well.

The graphics look pretty solid though and the soundtrack is on point. I would say the technical aspects are on point and of course I really can’t complain about the length. Being over 40 hours is really fantastic so I can’t possibly fault that. I don’t think you’re going to get much better than that in any RPG when going through the story since that’s not even counting the post game. There’s definitely a lot to do here so you’re getting a ton of bang for your buck. While it will take you a while to beat the game, there is always a lot of hope due to the nature of a level up system like this. For example if I had still been stuck I could have tried switching classes again, hard grinding to level 80, etc.

Now there is one huge pro tip I would mention now since I didn’t learn about this until the final boss. You can use any kind of spell on all allies at once by pressing the right arrow on your D Pad. Why? Who knows, but it’s a really good hidden feature. I started using the heal on everyone at once which was a massive game changer. I can tell you now that I would not have been able to defeat the final boss without that. Honestly I wonder if I could have beaten him at a lower level if I’d known about it sooner. So yeah this is a tip I recommend you really take to heart.

Overall, Final Fantasy III is a pretty fun game. The gameplay is fun and the overall experience is solid. I had some problems with a few of the gameplay mechanics here and there but in the end you’ll spend dozens of hours here and will be glad that you did. Final Fantasy is always the first title you think of when discussing long RPGs and the length here certainly lives up to it. You have to put in a lot of work to get to the end of the game but it’s all worth it and you will feel a tremendous sense of pride and accomplishment.

Overall 7/10

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Review

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It’s time to take a look at one of the meanest spirited films you’ll see in a minute. I remember reading on Reddit how you can measure how mean/good spirited a film is based on the percentage of characters who end the film better or worse off than how they were when starting it. In this film all of the characters end off worse than they began so that is a pretty good indicator all around. Trust me you’ll want to skip this one and go take a walk instead.

The movie begins by introducing us to the main character John who is mute which is definitely not an easy condition to live with. Still he has done all right for himself and he is even trying to help out his friend who is mentally disabled and having a much tougher time of things. John even moves to a new town in order to stay close to the hospital where his friend will be observed and so he moves into a house with a family that’s going through some tough times of their own. Will he be able to solve all of their problems and get a nice existence for himself or is it all over for him?

One thing you will notice right away is that the film loves throwing in a lot of unnecessary subplots just to make John squirm a bit. For example it turns out that the town’s police force is corrupt and racist so they decide to violate human rights and basically do whatever they want inside the station. There’s really nothing that can even be done about it by the main characters. One doctor tries to protest and that doesn’t end up working. So ultimately this results in one of John’s friends losing his leg, the doctor having to be miserable for a decent portion of his last days, and his daughter hating him for a long while.

That didn’t go very well for John but there are other people for him to save right? Well you have the family he’s living with but the father is crippled and unable to get more work. Unfortunately there don’t appear to be any prospects there so things don’t work out. Then you have the mother who completely destroys her relationship with their daughter by not encouraging her in the school ventures and limiting her opportunities. The daughter ends up having a one night stand with someone she doesn’t even know just to spite her family and the situation that she’s in. It’s something you can’t really take back either so John wasn’t able to help these folks out. The film also makes it abundantly clear just how young she was here to add that extra edge and grit to the film to sink it even lower.

Things take a pretty dark turn for the friend that he came over here to help so that was pretty rough too. A new friend he made over in this town had started to turn things around but it all ended up going sideways on him after trying to stop a fight so he had to split town. Basically everything went wrong in the end and so John ended up losing all hope which ends with his plot going down a dark path as well. Basically the body count in this film is rather high all things considered and it’s a drama that doesn’t leave any room for hope in the end.

Part of why the film’s so bad is because there’s just nothing positive about it in the end. Each character just kept going through tragedy after tragedy until the film finally ended with every character being completely broken inside and out. I was even surprised about the final person who died because I was sure it was going to be a fake out. The film wouldn’t actually go there would it? Well, in the end it did and that was definitely not a good idea. The film would have still been really bad, don’t get me wrong. But it could have maybe at least avoided the flat 0 with a quality ending to leave things off on a good note. The film was just too determined to have the characters in a never ending cycle of suffering. Whenever you’d have a moment where something bad wasn’t happening, you just knew this meant the film was setting up the next tragedy.

At best the film does show you how tough some people have it in life and why you should always give others the benefit of the doubt. It’s why they say not to judge someone on your first encounter since they could be having a bad day or something like that. You just never know after all, these characters all would have been having some really bad days that’s for sure. From the 5 senses, losing my sight would probably be the scariest. It’s just tough not to be able to see anything but all 5 are known as critical parts of you for a reason. Losing any one of them immediately makes life a lot harder so I have a lot of respect for those who forge their paths ahead despite that. It’s also why a happier ending here would have also been a lot more satisfying.

Overall, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter is a movie definitely trying to convince you that at the end of the day you will not be able to help enough people. There will always be more problems and they will eventually consume you. It’s definitely a very sad way to look at things. Of course it is not possible to solve all problems which is why they say it’s best not to look at the news too much so you don’t get tragedy fatigue. Just solve the problems you can and keep moving forward. One first step to doing this is to completely skip this film. At all costs you do not want to check it out. Whether it’s the big tragedies that happen in the film or the little ones like spoiling a party and losing all of your friends in one shot, this movie loves to pile onto the main characters.

Overall 0/10

The Concorde … Airport ’79 Review

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It’s time for the last of the Airport movies! Honestly it’s really not bad but I can see why it’s considered to be the weakest one. Not only did the film allow its name to be changed to Airport ’80 when it was aired abroad but I don’t think it takes itself as seriously as the first three. Not to say that it’s a full comedy or anything but there are scenes that don’t benefit the plot in any way like the affair with the reporter and it actually gets a little repetitive with the plane being attacked. Some good ideas here but the execution was not on point.

The film starts off with a huge conspiracy as a group of villains led by Kevin want to destroy an airplane. No it’s not because he got left at home all alone but for monetary reasons. Reporter Maggie finds out a scoop about his shady dealings…well find is a strong word. A guy literally ran into her house to let her know before he was shot dead. Kevin sweet talks her out of saying anything so he can give her his side of the story. Once she goes on the plane he decides to blow it up. What he didn’t count on was Patroni being the pilot this time. This airplane is supersonic and Patroni has supersonic piloting skills so when you put the two of them together like that good things are sure to follow. Kevin knows that if Maggie lands safely it is all over, can his missiles really bring down the plane??

Okay so first lets go with the positives here. I would say the film is about even with positives and negatives though so the sections are similar. I do like how we get two climaxes of sorts. Now granted, the second one feels a bit repetitive so I would have liked them to shake it up a little bit. I appreciate them trying to get a lot of action in there but you could change it up a bit. Also having a plane dodge missiles was a good way to show how this was a supersonic plane and not nearly as slow or weak as the usual ones. We got to see exactly what Patroni could do in combat and it was very impressive.

In general Patroni is a big positive here. You may be wondering a bit how he became such a hotshot pilot to the point where he is pulling all of this off. I guess his days of being a mechanic and then the back-end CEO are over. Now he’s a fighter pilot but that helps add to the fun of it all so I’m cool with it. He’s easily the best character in the movie and you want to give your star as much screentime as possible. Trust me that is always the best advice you could give a film.

On the flip side, we do have a very pointless romance here. There’s an athlete trying to win at the Olympics and so a reporter has a quick affair with her. The whole scene in the hot springs is definitely absurd. Cmon now she’s trying to get ready for an event coming up and apparently hasn’t seen this reporter in a while. They’re going to get that “friendly” that quickly? Noooo the scene was completely pointless and even by the end there’s just not much here. I guess it was just to give the passengers more to do but I would have cut that part out.

In general this also might be the weakest group of passengers that we’ve gotten. None of them are particularly likable or that memorable. You have the guy with his kid trying to have fun on the plane but they have no character. There’s the old lady always running to the bathroom and then you’ve got the rest of the crew basically just hanging out. At least in the film with the saboteurs we had traitors on board and a fairly intense pilot. There was a lot more happening there. This plane may be filled to the limit but it sure felt empty at times.

Now the conspiracy plot was fun but there are a lot of plot holes here. The obvious one of course is that this guy is rich enough with a ton of resources to have hired gunmen try to murder the reporter initially but then…he does nothing? Sure sending the rockets at the plane is all good but he should have just sent another gunman to her home or had someone snipe her on the way to the airport. He was way too complacent the whole time which really held him back. Also when she landed of course he should have had a backup plan to take her out instead of waiting to get the plane again.

She made it clear several times that she was going to destroy him and the company with the truth of his evil deeds so he had all day to do something about it. Now I don’t want to undersell his efforts. Of course he did plant bombs and use missiles of course which reasonably should have worked rather well but ultimately he just didn’t do a whole lot considering the high stakes of what it would meant if he let her loose. I also think Maggie was super lucky the whole time because technically she handled this poorly.

She committed all of the “don’ts” of being a reporter. She let the villain know that she was the only one who knew the truth and even gave him an exact timetable of when she would tell the world. Right up to the end with the TV crew she keeps mentioning that she’s going to break a story but not what the story actually was. So that still gave him even more time to finish her off. When you know a dark truth about someone who is a confirmed mass murderer then you need to keep things close to the vest. Seriously that’s an absolute necessity in this kind of thing.

So I would say there are some issues with that plot but the thing is, it’s still the best plot in the film. I wish they would have doubled down on that a bit. Imagine a whole chase scene in the airport like Mission Impossible? That would have been great and what would have made it double effective is how it would have the title actually be representative of the film for once. The action would actually be happening at the airport. I know that may sound crazy since you’re used to these films not having much to do with it but that’s why it would work.

Overall, Airport 4 is okay at best. It squanders the most interesting plot involving the conspiracy and I would argue it doesn’t make a lot of sense in general. I liked the attempts to make things more explosive and there was some promise with Patroni but ultimately this film just couldn’t execute at the level that it needed to. I would suggest watching the earlier films instead of this one. You should be reasonably entertained while watching this one but there just really isn’t much of a reason to do so. In a lot of ways the film is mainly going through the motions as opposed to doing something all that unique and so it doesn’t stand out.

Overall 5/10

The Land Before Time Review

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Time for a fairly old film that most people have heard of. The Land Before Time was a really big deal back in the day and I’d say it’s definitely had a lasting effect on the world. People still haven’t forgotten the films after all. This one works pretty well to kick things off and you’ll have a wholesome time with the dinosaurs. One of them is definitely pretty annoying for most of the experience but there is a character arc involved.

The film starts off by showing us the world of the dinosaurs and how each species mostly keeps to themselves. Littlefoot doesn’t understand this since he wants to be friends with everyone but the grownups are adamant that the dinos keep to themselves. Well eventually a giant earthquake happens which splits all of the dinosaurs up. Littlefoot must now go on a great adventure to get back to his tribe but it will be a long journey. Fortunately he meets up with a few other kids along the way. Together they can show the world that dinosaurs of different species can get along!

I’d say one of the more emotional moments here is definitely when Littlefoot’s mother passes away. It’s pretty much a rite of passage in every animated film involving an animal that the parent dies early on and Littlefoot was not spared this tragedy. He still tries to put his best foot forward at all times which is admirable though. Throughout the movie I would say he is consistently the best character. Even when the other dinosaurs are being jerks or traitors he will do his best to save them. A key moment in this is when they all ditch him for Cera despite the latter not being dependable or a team player at any point. Littlefoot could have just took off and forgotten about the lot of them but he still ventures into the magma zone to save them all.

Littlefoot can definitely end up being the chief of the dinosaurs at some point with his courage and dedication. On the other hand Cera spends most of the film trying to prove herself to be a tough dinosaur while often having the opposite effect of that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to present yourself as a tough fighter. It’s good to have courage and determination but at the same time she needs to realize her limits a bit sooner. I expected Cera to learn how to be humble a lot sooner than when it actually happened.

It’s really over 90% of the movie where she is doing her own thing and getting everyone into trouble. The worst of it has to be towards the magma zone when she decides to ditch Littlefoot and the others all follow her. Of course that translates really badly on them as well though. Seriously throughout the film Cera never lifted a foot to help any of them and that’s true here as well. Two of them get separated and Cera doesn’t care. One of them falls into the ocean and is about to drown and Cera doesn’t even notice. Yeah I’m going to need Cera to work really hard to be a likable character in the sequel because right now things are not going well for her at all.

Ducky is a nice character, she’s very outgoing and always doing her best. So in a lot of ways she has all of the right traits here but I do deduct some points for her going with Cera instead of Littlefoot. It’s the only error she made but it was a pretty big one. When all of your screentime is so positive though it’s hard for one moment to stop you so I still give her a lot of credit. Meanwhile Petrie also made that error but was decent otherwise. A little timid since he had a lot of trouble flying at first but gradually he is able to get past that. I suppose I’ll cut him a little slack since he was so young as they’re all kids here.

As a villain Sharptooth works pretty well. There is a bit of plot armor on the heroes to deal with him since a grown T Rex isn’t about to be stopped by a bunch of kids so easily. You almost feel bad for him in the sense that it’s more instinct to go after the prey rather than him being evil or anything like that. Of course you want the heroes to get away but you still hope Sharptooth will be okay as opposed to getting taken down by the kids. They can’t all be winners in the end but at least a truce can happen in some films. I can tell you right now that this doesn’t happen.

I was half expecting a little more of a reaction from the grown up dinosaurs at the end though. Like they see everyone getting along so well and decide that maybe dinosaurs can all get along. Some kind of coming of age moment where they realize the error of their ways. Perhaps the film writers felt that would be too cheesy or just too rushed to put in the last minutes though. I mean you could say it’s pretty much implied I guess, everyone is hanging out at the same area after all and at this point the kids have been through enough where they’re probably old enough to hang out with whoever they want. One of these days I’ll probably watch the sequels so we’ll see how they go.

Overall, The Land Before Time is a pretty fun film. It has a reasonable cast of characters and I was glad that Littlefoot got the win in the end since Cera really wasn’t being helpful or grateful at all the whole time. It is fairly short so the movie ends really fast but I’d say it got a good amount of plot in there. It might not be the most exciting movie out there which keeps it from being a bit higher but the quick length keeps it from dragging on. For example if this had been a 2 hour movie I would argue that it would actually hurt the experience since that would just be too much. At about an hour? Yeah that’s a pretty good length for this one.

Overall 6/10