Category Archives: Reviews

The Revenge of Frankenstein Review

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It’s time for the return of Frankenstein! I have to say that this one is marginally better than most of the previous films in the franchise. Not to say it’s a good film or anything because of course that’s not the case but yeah it definitely beats some of the others because we don’t have the classic monster here. Instead we have Frankenstein styling on everyone and the film mainly just has to get around its rather violent body horror type moments and new monster. Oh…so yeah I guess it was doomed anyway.

The movie starts off with not explaining how Frankenstein escaped his impending death at the guillotine. He escaped to a remote town where he practices as a doctor and does rather well at it. So well in fact that the illuminati of scientists have been unable to shut him down or force him to join their cabal. This means they are constantly upset but one young doctor realizes that this new practitioner is the legendary Frankenstein. He blackmails the main character into accepting him as a sidekick and both are super wary of the other. Still they make for a good team and Frankenstein lets Hans know of his plot to transfer Karl’s brain into a new body. Karl is a hunchback with an arm that doesn’t work well and this transfer will prove what a genius Frankenstein is. Karl is also on board so it’s not a secret or anything. The only possible obstacle is a girl named Margaret who basically forces herself into being a nurse/assistant at the clinic. Will she end up destroying everything?

All right lets talk about some of the good aspects of the movie first. For starters I actually think that Frankenstein himself is a really good character for once. The guy is actually engaging and entertaining. He is always a few steps ahead of the other characters and I like how rude the guy is. He straight up doesn’t care what the other characters think of him and is just determined to keep making advances in science. He’s not dumb about it either. The guy legitimately became the best doctor in the land with a ton of valid surgeries and operations so that he could subtly take a few extra limbs here and there for his experiments.

Everyone respects him outside of the council and nobody except Hans ever suspected a thing. He holds his own in all of the questionnaires until the end and so for once he actually did feel like a full genius. I also liked the tension between him and Hans the whole time. They’re both basically villains here who are willing to use each other and so they each have to watch their backs. It made for a pretty good dynamic the whole time. I tend to really enjoy reluctant partnerships like that.

Hans may have been a little out of his depth but he was a solid character too. The guy stayed his ground even through the obvious threats that Frankenstein tossed his way. Not just anyone could have done that. Also Karl was good at least until he started to lose his mind. The guy has been through a lot and was willing to do what he needed to do in order to improve himself. I mean he is playing along with this whole scheme that he had to know was sinister so I am by no means calling him a hero or anything. He definitely shouldn’t carry that moniker but he was a character you could really feel bad for the whole time.

Margaret was a character who was much less sympathetic. It felt like she was really throwing herself into trouble the whole time and had no reason to really do so. I mean the film makes it clear why she wanted to jump in but yeah she definitely was not doing herself any favors here. I suppose she at least means well later on like when helping Karl out but ultimately even then she sets everything back a bit and is just responsible for more carnage and destruction.

The movie certainly had better writing and more thrills than most films in the franchise but this is about where the positives start to end. For the negatives we have the usual here. The film can get rather violent once Karl is actually a monster and starts to destroy everyone. We learn that the transfer has the side effect of making its victims turn into cannibals so you can probably guess how that goes. The worst part is that Karl wasn’t even that bad at first but then we get an over eager security guy who starts beating him up which triggers the transformation. The whole scene felt rather forced to be honest.

We also have all of the body parts lying around that the film puts a whole lot of detail into. It’s definitely pretty gross to see them all just lying around and the film does not look away when it comes time for the operations. I’d even say that the film is practically gloating about this because the scenes did not need to be nearly as long as they were. It’s not like they really add anything to the film since by that point we already know what’s going on.

As a final note I will say that the film’s ending is really solid though. I was not really expecting that and yet it does make a lot of sense in hindsight. It’s another moment that makes Frankenstein look like a genius while also buffing another character. Unfortunately the next film would not follow in this one’s footsteps which was a massive mistake as it starts to sink all the way down again but we’ll go more into that later on.

Overall, This is a film that I would not recommend. Yes it is better than the average Frankenstein title as focusing on the scientist over the monster was a superb idea. Any scene with him talking to the doctors tends to be really good. I also liked the really smug custodian. I didn’t talk about him much but the guy also seems to be a few steps ahead of the others. There’s just a lot of really strong character interactions everywhere. They aren’t enough to save the film once it enters the second half with all of the monster action but it is enough to be memorable and still give me some positive things to say about it.

Overall 3/10

Children of Men Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a dystopia film with the end of the world approaching but not due to some kind of giant twister or meteorite attack. No, this time it’s because the world just isn’t generating new humans anymore and so that’s an interesting take but this is more of a dreary kind of adventure as opposed to a thrilling escape film on trying to find a way to survive. It brings up some interesting ideas but ultimately couldn’t quite turn the corner.

The movie starts off by explaining the plot. At some point women stopped being able to get pregnant and the cause of this was unknown. It could have been anything from radiation, vaccines, just a natural end to this cycle, etc. Regardless of the cause, that means humanity will slowly begin dying out soon. Just about every country on the planet has fallen except for the United Kingdom and so there is a huge immigration issue. Everyone wants to go there and so they have basically shut the kingdom off and all immigrants are basically treated like slaves.

The film centers around Theo who has a fairly good job and likes to keep things low key. He stays out of the media and plays along with what people consider to be big events like the world’s youngest person dying but he doesn’t really care about any of that. One day he is kidnapped by his wife or ex-wife…I forget if they had split up or not officially but she is now a high ranking member of a terrorist organization. Why does she want him? Well there is a girl named Kee that they are trying to protect and they need Theo’s help. She doesn’t actually trust the other terrorists so he is her absolute last resort play. Theo doesn’t want to help but circumstances basically force him into the picture. Can he protect her?

Theo doesn’t exactly have much combat training or anything so it won’t be easy. Additionally, there is a specific reason why Kee is a super big priority target for just about every force on the planet. There are tons of people who want her for both good and bad reasons. That means there is now a big target on Theo’s back. He does suggest at one point that they should turn themselves in but this is the only area where I have to agree with the villains in thinking that this is a bad idea. I have no doubt that she would immediately be experimented on and would effectively lose her freedom/life in short order.

There are no great solutions to this though. One idea is keeping her in hiding for say 10-20 years so you can show off certain results with a bit more safety also in hopes that other people appear or you make her a central figurehead for the terrorist group from a safe location. I’m not sure exactly where would be considered safe at this point though and even if it appears to be for a good cause…I don’t think anybody would want to be the figure head for a terrorist group.

As with most of the dilemmas in this film, your only choices tend to be bad or worse. Theo has one real friend in the film who is an old guy trying to take care of his sickly wife and from the jump with this kind of film you know that’s not going to go over very well. I don’t even get the logic of his final scene. The guy was super prepared for everything including poison pills and lots of other kinds of things so at least he wouldn’t be captured and tortured. There is even a plot element to this involving the past which explains why he would want to be wary of such a thing. Yet when his time comes, he only gives two others the poison pills and doesn’t take any safe guards for himself. If anything he actually gets off really lucky here comparatively speaking.

Aside from making things rougher on Theo this just didn’t make sense. There are lots of scenes in the film that are pretty much here to remind you how bad the world has gotten. People are being led up to a firing squad, the whole being tortured as a backstory, we see the bad living conditions, everyone starts dying near the end, etc. Even with the ending I wouldn’t exactly say it’s a very positive one. You have to assume that while things may get marginally better later on, they may not.

In a way the whole film follows this theme of hopelessness. At the end of the day no matter what the characters choose to do, they’re all going to die soon. There is no saving the world or some big enemy to defeat. Every person who gets murdered during this adventure is just one person leaving early but everyone will eventually be dying with no heirs to continue. The first half of the film is much more interesting in that sense though as it’s interesting to see what happens but once we enter the thriller aspects it’s ironically not as engaging. It’s more of a classic everyone getting shot and running through the destroyed towns but it’s all rather gritty and not meant to be very fun. Everyone’s constantly in pain and the film does give us a rather long birthing scene which makes sense as it could be the last one ever seen but I’d still have rather that had beem off screen as it always looks and sounds so painful.

Meanwhile the ending only holds hope for the world if the circumstances with Kee can be reproduced. If they are unable to figure that out then it won’t matter. Even if they do figure it out, if the circumstances are not practical then it won’t matter there either. So there’s a lot of ways this could go sideways and only a few possible positive routes. Personally I don’t see it working out, the world is way too far gone. At this point even if things do start to turn, society itself may as well be collapsed.

Theo isn’t a particularly good main character either way. The guy comes across as selfish and it takes a whole long time for him to get on board. He doesn’t care about much which is fine but it also means that it basically takes the most extreme of circumstances to get him to do anything like a lot of money. I can’t say I was a big fan of Julian either though. She feels a bit manipulative. It doesn’t look like she actually likes Theo all that much but was just using him for her own means which was risky in itself.

Kee was a good character. She was really thrown into a really tricky situation and did her best but this was probably the roughest for her in a lot of ways. When you’re just trying to survive but going through an ordeal nobody even knows about, that has to be pretty rough. Then we have Luke who is one of the more interesting characters. Definitely the kind of guy who can really turn on a dime though so you can’t really trust him at all. The guy shows some warning signs right out of the gate and they only get worse. From his point of view it probably all seems worth it like he has to do it but there’s no way to really justify his actions.

The worst character would have to be Syd though because in the end he’s just a really greedy guy who will absolutely turn on his own convictions for the right price. In a lot of ways he’s worse than someone like Luke who at least has a logic to his actions. I don’t believe that Luke could ever be bought by anyone while Syd is just too weak. The guy’s annoying because there were such high hopes for him.

Overall, I think Children of Men is a very interesting film. There are definitely many parts to it that feel really realistic and if the planet did ever enter a period where children could not be born anymore, I expect there would be massive chaos. It would be like knowing that everyone was going to die soon and not being able to do anything about it. Society absolutely would collapse and it’s a scary thing to think about. So while it is a very interesting writing prompt, it doesn’t work as well in a movie like this. It’s just more depressing than anything with no real breaks. It can get rather disturbing and even a little violent as well. I would have preferred a film that focused more on the societal impacts from the government’s point of view like a drama version of this without the thriller aspects. Even the most kind people would have a lot of things to worry about if they’re the youngest and know that nobody will be around to take care of them when they get old. So I don’t recommend the film but the plot is very unique and if you’re curious about diving in, the film has no shortage of traumatic imagery to present to you.

Overall 3/10

Zero Wing Review

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Time for our next Genesis adventure with Zero Wing. This one definitely has a pretty iconic moment in the script and as a whole it’s pretty intense to see it. You really would not have expected the script to be this rough after the game was translated into English but I guess this squeaked through. In a way it makes the game funnier though so it works out and the game gets a full thumbs up either way thanks to the smooth gameplay.

The basic plot is about stopping the aliens who are trying to conquer or destroy the planet. You have to use your own ship to stop them and it must be a crazy high tier ship because it is destroying an entire army. I know that’s mainly gameplay mechanics of course but it’s still pretty fun to see. There sadly is not an ending cutscene here so after the opening you could say that the story completely dies. This is pretty odd because that just feels like it’s a given. Maybe there is some way to unlock an extra cutscene? Maybe not but that’s at least something that could make a little sense.

Ah well it may have ended on a weak note but the game was still fun. Think of this like a 2D Galaga where you are spamming your blasters at everything that moves. One unique thing about this adventure is that you can keep on switching your gun every time you get a power up but some in my opinion are better than others. Once I got the homing gun I would dodge all the other power ups because I didn’t want to lose it. It may be the weakest out of all the guns but at the same time the homing attack function just makes it something that you do not want to lose. This game is part bullet hell to an extent so you’re really focused on dodging. Not having to worry about where you are firing is a massive help.

Particularly since the attack power difference wasn’t massive. Yes, it’s enough to be noticeable but at the same time it’s still not a problem. The gameplay is very fast paced so you get to trust your reaction times while at the same time it’s not so fast that you have to make a lot of gambles. When you get hit, you know instinctively that you made a mistake. Often times you will immediately recognize your mistake as you get hit. With very few exceptions, it always feels reasonable that you can beat a level without getting hit but realistically everyone will slip up at some point.

Then for the graphics, the game is pretty good. The fact that we have actual illustrations with text is pretty good since most of this console’s games couldn’t seem to manage that. Meanwhile the soundtrack also gets a thumbs up without a doubt. The tunes are fun and really fit the gameplay. Definitely no issues on the technical side for this one. I do have to address the one weak point of the game though which is that it is very short. The game can be completed in under an hour and there is no real reason to play it again. The replay value here is absolutely zero and so you need to make sure that the single playthrough is enough for you to want to buy the game. If not, then that is a very valid reason on why you would want to skip it.

Zero Wing joins a bunch of other games that I’ve played where I feel there is a lot of potential to bring the series back. The story is already there so modernize it with more cutscenes and you can make a franchise out of it. Of course you can say that for many games but when you’ve already got the story and good gameplay at your disposal then it almost goes without saying. This is definitely not one that you want to miss.

Overall, Zero Wing is a pretty good game. I definitely had a good amount of fun with it. Of course it is a bit on the short side and there is technically no replay value. So this is a one and done type of game but hey that’s fine as long as that first playthrough is good. Naturally this isn’t really a game that I would spend money on but when you’re playing it as part of a full package deal then that’s really not a bad bet. I would definitely recommend checking it out, these sci-fi shooters are always so much fun!

Overall 7/10

Dynamite Headdy Review

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Now this is definitely one of the most difficult video games that I’ve played in a minute. Certainly one of the toughest platformers and without the power of access points and rewinding I don’t see how anyone was able to beat the final boss of this game. It’s incredibly difficult with randomized movements and a whole lot of health. I died so many times in this fight but of course in the end all I had to do was win once to turn the tables and that’s exactly what I did! You just have to keep on fighting until you have made it to the end.

The basic plot involves the main guy getting suckered by girl who keeps stealing stuff. Yeah okay that’s not technically the focus of the plot even though it’s what happens. Someone is putting the entire world at risk and has powerful robotic menaces under his disposal. Headdy had to destroy them all and save puppetkind but does he have what it takes to defeat everyone? He has the power needed to be sure but the guy isn’t the smartest and is easily suckered so you really have to take that into account. Trust me, the guy makes me roll my eyes sometimes to be honest because the same cutscene happens after every world. You’d think he would learn…

All that said, I’m glad that the game actually has a real story. There are lots of cutscenes even if there isn’t much dialogue and the characters are very expressive so you feel like you are always in the mix. This game would absolutely do well with a modern remake because even this one has aged well. The gameplay is also very unique with how you put on different heads to gain different abilities. You need to get used to jumping and then launching your head since that’s a bit different compared to the usual action of jumping and automatically grabbing onto something. Once your muscle memory gets used to it, you’re set though.

Also watch out because there are what I call trap heads. One in particular involves putting on a giant head that prevents you from moving for a little while and then you get destroyed. The game is very punishing with your mistakes so if you put that on…good luck. It’s over by that point and you’re not going to make it to the end. Other power ups like turning tiny are good for very specific circumstances but if you use it in the middle of a level it will often hold you back instead of helping you. So I’d say you should definitely keep that in mind. The best power up is probably the one that surrounds you with an energy barrier that damages any enemy who gets close. That one is super handy with no real drawbacks.

Now like I said with the difficulty level, the enemies hit hard! You will lose all of your health very quickly and the attacks can be hard to react to. Specifically I have to talk about the final boss here because he is the most noticeable by far. He has a ton of different attack options up his sleeve and there is barely a chance to see what he is going to do before he does it. The guy seems to have a different pose for each attack which is likely your entry way to being able to dodge in time but it’s still an incredibly tight window.

You also need to be able to grab the specific power up that you need in order to dodge his attack and that is way easier said than done. Trust me this is exactly the kind of enemy that you do not want to face because he is always in the perfect position to take you down. I died probably over 50 times against him and that was with the power of the Switch Online. He’s an awesome looking final boss though. Great design all the way and really someone who does strike fear into you. He’s an excellent final boss and definitely a villain who excels over 90% of other platforming villains. This game deserves to be a big series.

The graphics have aged really well due in large part to the fun artstyle. The soundtrack is really good too and I definitely have no complaints there. The length is not the longest as each world is fairly short but the levels all have a lot of originality to them. For example in one level you are flying around the whole time, then you’re underwater in one, etc. The gameplay itself changes to match the levels which is impressive. It’s not afraid to change things up a lot.

In fact one level even had a whole puzzle which really did stump me for a bit. You have to basically bounce off of a bunch of walls to get to the top and you have to do this really fast before you fall down or hit a spike. The timing was so specific that I overthought it which is part of why I didn’t think that was how to get past the puzzle. I was looking for a switch or an alternate exit but in the end the direct way was the right way.

Overall, This game was better than I was expecting. I’m not crazy about one aspect of the ending since the implications are rather dire but otherwise this was very satisfying all the way through. The game feels ahead of its time with how many different gameplay mechanics it used and the fact that it had a true story all the way through. Trust me, that’s really not an easy feat and it only gets more and more impressive as I play other Genesis games.

Overall 7/10

Columns Review

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All right it’s time for our next Genesis title but this one’s not one of the more impressive ones. In fact you could say that this is one of the weakest ones. I’m not totally sure what they were going for here except to say that it did not work. It’s a puzzle game that’s similar to Tetris and other matching games but the big difference here is that you can’t rotate the pieces sideways. They just go from up to down and that’s about it which to me makes the game not quite as fun. There’s still a lot of strategy so I won’t say in any way that this makes it more basic but it’s tougher to really land the combos that you want.

When you launch the game there is only one main mode here. You can play it on easy, normal, or hard. Beyond that the game is exactly he same on all 3 modes and the only difference is the speed at which the pieces fall down and also the points that you start with. On easy mode you start with 0, 20,000 on normal mode, and 50,000 on hard mode. What this means if you should always play hard mode because even if you lose almost immediately, you have so many points that it adds up. At least me personally it feels like the right way to go. Now if you can’t move the pieces on their sides, how do you get matches?

Well each tile has 3 colors so what you can do is change the orders of the colors on the block even though you can’t turn it. It’s definitely a tricky one and it’s hard to get the hang of it. You really have to forget everything you’ve learned about matching games previously and then get used to these rules. Otherwise you will really just end up playing yourself the whole time and putting yourself in a rough spot. Even by the end when playing this game I felt like I was making most of my matches by mistake. It was super hard to actually plan for them and more often than not I would just end up losing eventually without knowing what I was really doing.

The core problem is that as a result the game just isn’t super fun. It’s not awful or anything but there’s virtually nothing to do in the game. It’s as basic as possible and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing but then you really need an excellent gameplay style. Just being okay is not nearly good enough and that’s the real problem here. Give me some different backgrounds or something. Of course a story mode is the number one factor that would be super hype but these are other things that could have helped more. More songs, backgrounds, modes, etc.

As it stands this game is just too barebones and has not aged particularly well. There is really no particular reason to play this game as long as many others exist. I will just naturally find myself gravitating to those instead and I’m sure that the same is true for many gamers which is why you never hear about this title nowadays. The graphics are okay but it’s not like there is much on the screen for the game to show off either. So what you have is a game that is absolutely stuck without the ability to improve.

Also I’m pretty sure this is more of a Nintendo Switch Online thing than with the actual game or at least I hope that is the case but the game does not save your high score. Yes, you heard that right. It goes back to 0 each time so every time you play the game says that you now have the high score. A little suspect eh? That also takes away from wanting to play for too long because yeah you can write the high score down but how long will you actually remember it? It’s a real load off your mind to have the game store this kind of basic information instead of you.

Overall, There isn’t a lot of replay value here because you’ll basically just be playing the same level over and over and over again with nothing much beyond that. Nobody is going to be spending that amount of time on a single game for very long. It just wouldn’t make sense. You know it and I know it. I’d like to think that this would have potential with a modern day remake but I do think you would need a ton of bells and whistles to make it worth the purchase. Otherwise I would really just go with the classic Tetris style instead because I find it to be more fun. That’s what it really boils down to in the end.

Overall 3/10

Castlevania: Grimoire of Souls Review

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It’s time for the last Apple Arcade review as I have now canceled my subscription with the service. It had a good run but that’s how things have to be. This one’s more of a real title than Mane Merge although it does suffer from a few issues with how the original game was designed. It was going to be a gatcha title after all but had to remove the freemium elements for the Apple Arcade. So what you have is a game that is not very well balanced and yet…it is fun. You just have to use some special methods to get around.

The basic plot is that Alucard becomes aware of another plot to revive Dracula. He has to make sure that this doesn’t happen and so he partners himself with an organization to stop this. Basically they have to go through the books of history and recruit all of the strongest vampire hunters. The villains are trying to change history at the same time to remove these heroes. Whoever moves fast will claim the edge but with Death itself trying to resurrect Dracula, is there any way to stop him? It definitely won’t be easy but Alucard is an old hand at this and ready to win.

The gameplay here is your classic 2D platformer. You use your sword, wand, or whip to mow through enemies and get to the end. Each level is fairly short so you can breeze through them but of course there are a lot of levels in each world. There are 10 worlds here and each one has 16 levels although you only need to complete 10 to move onto the next one. Beating the rest of the levels is often recommended to get progress towards new S class weapons and to get stronger. So you go through the levels and claim victory right? Well there is one thing stopping you from doing that and this is your power level.

So here’s where the gatcha type elements come in. Each of your characters has a level and then your account has a level. You raise character levels by beating enemies and getting EXP while your account level goes up by completing stages. Your weapon, sub weapon, weapon 2, weapon 3, and 5 armors all have individual levels as well. Those you level up with gems but every 5 levels it gets maxed out and then you have to limit break the equipment. You limit break it by getting memories of the weapons which you can try to find in a stage, search for through an auto complete, or summon. It will take a while to do each one so these are basically stopping points where you just have to wait until you get them.

Summoning is expensive and searches are limited to 60 times per day so the rest of the time you will need to actually go out there and just keep on completing the levels. That part is limitless at least but you can see how this would take a while right? The levels keep jumping up in terms of difficulty level so you have to try and stay close to compete. In the end I was able to complete the game with a power level of 88,000 and it took me 22 hours to accomplish this. The number is partially RNG based on what you summon so add or subtract from that amount if you aim to complete the game.

There is a trick that I mentioned earlier though so lets talk it through because without that I would not be anywhere close to beating the game. On the Arcade none of the shops work and it sounds like this is being worked on but I didn’t have time for that. So the trick is to turn off your mobile phone’s automatic date finder and manually put in an earlier date. I warped myself back to 2023 which activated all of the shops and I was able to grab what I needed. The one annoying thing about this is your phone’s other apps like your email will keep asking you what’s going on with the date so accomplish as much as you can in one shot before going back to normal.

I’m not sure if messing with the date could cause any problems with your phone but it’s best not to really take any chances with that right? Then you can keep warping days to collect the login bonuses and refresh the searches so you can progress through the game. So while I played the game for 22 hours, I lived through close to half a month by moving myself through time. Without that ability, it would take me about that long to complete which is pretty crazy. Apple Arcade really enjoys adding a grind to its games but since this one was left unfinished that worked in my favor since they didn’t bother setting an automatic date.

It’s still something worth considering in the review though which is what holds this game back from being higher. I enjoy the actual gameplay but you’re effectively locking all of the players out with the way the difficulty jumps up. You just wouldn’t be able to damage the boss until you got upgraded and that’s why gatcha elements can be a little annoying in gameplay. Particularly when getting stronger is such a time consuming project.

What helps compared to something like Mane Merge is that at least the story was a lot of fun all the way through. Again I do think we should have gotten more cutscenes and voice acting but the crossover effect was cool even as someone who doesn’t know a ton about Castlevania. I imagine there were probably a lot of easter eggs and such in the story. Everyone got their props and respect in the story which is what you always want to see and the ending was actually very satisfying.

The graphics in this game aren’t quite as impressive as the other Apple Arcade titles. This is the one aspect that the game really lacks in. It’s a bit surprising but maybe it’s just the art style that it was going for. Whatever it was, the game definitely doesn’t look very good. Meanwhile the soundtrack is fun though, there are actually a whole lot of tunes in the game so you don’t hear them repeat very often.

Overall, The length of the game is pretty impressive. As noted, it’s 20+ hours while playing through even with the enhancements Play it normally and you’re probably looking at 50+ hours. I didn’t even touch the special event stages which will add some replay value. I will note though that the replay value is limited in this case because after you play through those last levels, there is nothing else. No other mode to have fun with the gameplay or anything like that. You’ll just have ended the game and then it’s time to put it own. That’s actually a bit rare for a gacha title but I guess once a title is no longer supported it makes sense not to keep on adding stuff. If you enjoy Castlevania and have the Apple Arcade then I recommend checking it out but otherwise you can probably grab one of the classic Castlevania titles instead.

Overall 6/10

My Little Pony: Mane Merge Review

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It’s time to look at an Apple Arcade title that is definitely a very long one. I poured in tons of hours to complete this game and unfortunately the length is actually a weak point here. I tend to enjoy matching gameplay but there should be something with it as opposed to matching just for the sake of it. The game has a story yes, but it is really dragged out with whole chapters going by without much plot progression. The grind was a little too much for a little amount of content which is what doomed this title.

Basically the game starts with a villain deciding to take down Equestria and she has some kind of magical abilities that allow her to summon vines which start to terrorize the populace. Nobody knows that she is doing this but in a way that might have been an issue for her because nobody takes the threat too seriously. Yeah the ponies are removing the vines but there isn’t a lot of urgency. Has she underestimated the resilience of the heroes?

Well she absolutely has, that’s a big guarantee here. The heroes keep on chopping down the vines and rescuing their friends. Rinse and repeat for all 11 chapters, the heroes just don’t stop. You get little cutscenes every now and again and then one main one at the beginning/ending of a chapter but there isn’t any real voice acting. Each character has one word that they will say as a sound effect and they will keep on saying it but that’s like the bare minimum of voice acting. An Apple Arcade title could absolutely afford to have real voice acting.

The graphics are really good though, I can give the game that much at least. The character models are on point and the backgrounds all look sharp. This does at least look like a very modern title. The soundtrack is very limited and while the main theme isn’t bad, there’s nothing very exciting here. You will very quickly forget all about the tunes. This game is aimed a bit younger so I’m not expecting heavy metal or anything but there are plenty of great Mario and Sonic tunes in each game and those are aimed at kids too.

As mentioned, the gameplay itself isn’t bad. Basically you match different items together in order to form new items. Form those new ones to get newer ones, etc. There are 6 kinds of objects and each one has up to 10 levels of items which means a lot of merging. You don’t have unlimited energy either. When you run out of spins you can either wait around 2 hours to replenish 100 merges or you can play a minigame to get up to 75 merges back. It’s nice that there is a way you can just wait it out, but it’s not very practical given the amount of merges that you need. You could go through well over 1000-2000 merges in a single chapter so that’s a lot of merges.

The game also forces you to switch sides every now and again. For example you might just figure you’ll do a ton of minigames to stockpile a few thousand spins and then go do the merging right? Well the cap is 200 so you have to go back and do some merging before you go to the minigames. So you’re constantly switching between the two areas. I don’t think there is really much of a point to making you limited like this. I’d have preferred to focus on one and then the other. There are a lot of minigames but the fastest one in my opinion is feeding the critters. I would just spam that one over and over again.

The game does have a ton of content though, I can tell you that much. The main story probably took me at least 50+ hours to complete and then there are two other story modes to contend with as well. Every 3 days there are mini events you can compete in for fun and of course there is a sticker book which holds your achievements. If you want to 100% that, you will need to play every minigame at least 50+ times and ace all of the story modes. It’s actually very achievable but of course very long.

As far as I know the main story mode is easily the longest out of all the stories but even then I bet this will take a good amount of time for you to beat the others. This is just an example of what I would call a fairly pointless grind. If you really enjoy the game then of course you will be glad for some extra content but if not then there is no incentive to go through the other stories. You will barely be able to muster up the courage to beat the first story mode.

It’s just a shame because a ton of effort was put into this one but the effort was focused on the wrong area. It should have been on making the story mode as compelling as possible and always having some kind of a reward for the merges. When you get enough hearts to unlock the next item, there should always be a cutscene. Maybe make less items but each one costs more merges to unlock and then you would have a better balance here. It’s just rough to play for an hour or more gathering hearts and no real progression to speak of.

Overall, Mane Merge is a game with a ton of content but it was just bloated without a lot of incentive to make it fun. It’s certainly not worth getting Apple Arcade for and I wouldn’t keep the service for this game either. At the end of the day you should give it a go if you’re a huge MLP fan but personally I would say to play one of the matching games like Fruits Mania or Lollipop instead of this title. Those didn’t even have a story and yet they were a lot more fun to go through. This one lacks that addicting edge to it so instead of being lost in the game, you’re wondering when it will end.

Overall 4/10

Monsters Review

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Lets take a look at Oda’s original oneshot! One Piece has become one of the most recognized franchises in the world and yet before that he had already written a quick story here. You can tell that his art style is a little rougher around the edges from back then but it still looks clear enough. It’s a fun story and you can bet that I was inspired to check this out since the new Netflix adaption just came out. It’s a rare case where I saw the adaption before the original special. It’s a very faithful adaption though so it’s just about the same.

We start off with the famous Shirano stopping by a local village and he is recognized by the waitress Flare who was saved by him as a child. She survived a very traumatic ordeal when a dragon murdered everyone and destroyed the village but thanks to his help she survived. Unfortunately a samurai known as Ryuma appears and picks a fight. Shirano defeats him and diffuses the situation but that same samurai picks a fight with a villainous figure known as D.R. who decides to summon a dragon as revenge. Now the village is doomed to be destroyed and Flare wishes that Ryuma had never stopped by. She will have to relive the same tragedy all over again and this time Shirano will likely die as he has decided to stay back and fight it which is a fool’s errand.

Ryuma definitely comes across as really irresponsible and not the kind of guy you want to have as your hero. Picking fights for minor things is a bit much no matter how he tries to justify it. Yeah I put no blame on him for the D.R. matter because villains will do what villains do but he shouldn’t have picked a fight at the restaurant. The guy does have a good rage mode in the story though. Seeing Flare break down and jumping into action was definitely the right move. The scene showing her trying to keep it together was really good.

I give her a lot of credit there because trying to put on a brave face is a really tough thing to do but she pulled it off. It may not have fooled Ryuma but she wasn’t trying to burden anyone with her problems. I deduct some points for her blaming Ryuma for everything right away though. D.R. is the one who looks shady and at the end of the day he summoned the dragon so shouldn’t you be blaming him the most? Same goes for all of the villagers who panic as always.

Shirano definitely has a really big role in the story as well. It’s a role you can probably see coming but he pulls it off well. There’s always something scary about a character like this when you feel like you know him but then find out the hard way that you never did. It’s why you have to be careful who you trust and how far you trust them. Trust is not something to be given lightly. D.R. is a very forgettable character though and there’s nothing to make him stand out.

As mentioned the art is a little on the rough side but I would still say it’s good enough. You can always tell what is going on. It really has changed a lot compared to the current One Piece days but hey time will do that to any artist. There is a decent page count to this oneshot but with the wide panels and lots of reaction type shots, it really goes by very quickly. You’ll easily be able to read this one in one sitting. The action scenes we get here are really short so at the end of the day this is more about the adventure. You won’t be bored at any point and it moves pretty quickly so I have no issues there.

I think this could have even worked as a full ongoing if the author was interested in that. It definitely would have been more of a Kenshin type story about a wandering samurai but with the dragon in chapter one, the author already opened the door for a lot of supernatural events which would be different. Dragons themselves aren’t super rare to find in a story like this but if the author went far enough with spellcasters and such this could have been pretty unique. Ultimately I am glad that we got One Piece instead though.

Overall, Monsters is a fun oneshot. It’s a nostalgic trip to the past and an interesting look at what could have been rather than One Piece. It’s a good title which is enough for a oneshot like this but naturally doesn’t have enough in it to pass the average ongoing title. It’s free on the viz site right now so I’d recommend giving it a read. Then if you enjoy the series, it’s time to quickly check out One Piece and begin one of the longest journeys of your life!

Overall 6/10

Monsters: 103 Mercies Dragon Damnation Review

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It’s time to look at the Monster special/mini movie that came out recently. You know when they first announced this project I figured it’d be at least an hour or longer but I guess that would have not really made sense since this was based on a one shot. At the very least they would have had to add a lot of extra scenes. Maybe if they included the full fight in the after credits scene instead of just the ending but for people just trying to watch this as a stand alone it probably would have been a really odd way to end this.

The story starts with Ryuma showing up to a village in a state of near starvation. He hasn’t eaten in days and so Flare (I feel like her name was a little different when I saw the film but this works well enough), a nice person lets him eat a bunch for free. He considers himself to be in her debt now although he has a funny way of showing it considering that he starts a big fight in the bar. This happens because the world’s strongest swordsman, Shirano ends up bumping his sword into Ryuma’s. It should have just been a simple accident that they both laugh at and walk away from but Ryuma takes this kind of thing personal.

The same thing happens with someone else a few minutes later, but this time it is a villain named D.R. who pretends that he has been stabbed by Ryuma and uses the legendary dragon horn to summon a dragon to destroy the village. Now the whole village is mad at Ryuma but also just depressed because they are all going to die. Shirano vows to stay and fight the dragon but Ryuma knows that it isn’t his fault and just figures everyone should run off and live. Is this really the right move though? And why did this villain randomly summon a dragon like this? Something’s not right.

The special’s length is basically around 1 normal episode so things have to move pretty quickly. That includes the main plot twist here although it’s one that you will absolutely see a mile away. This is a fairly conventional story about a heroic figure slaying the giant dragon and so the plot around it is pretty much what you would expect. I’m guessing back in the day when submitting the oneshot to the magazine, the writer probably wanted to go with a safe story to start off with. It makes sense and the movie is a very faithful adaption. In a world of subversions and complex plots though, it works well enough.

My main complaint would be that I wish we got more action though. There is only one real action scene here with the dragon and it’s a short one. Yes there is a sword “duel” but that only lasts for a single move and is very fast. It does have the best action sequence by far though. I tend to like when an animation quickly switches to black and white for dramatic effect although you don’t want to overuse it. For example we get another black and white flash against the dragon but that one was really underwhelming in comparison. I would say the animation here is reasonably good but definitely not great or excellent like you would expect from a special. One Piece itself destroys this with many episodes in Wano.

As for the soundtrack, it’s pretty uneventful. Nothing to write home about so you’ll be forgetting the tunes pretty fast. As a main character Ryuma is okay but I wasn’t actually a big fan of his. The guy is super irresponsible, I still can’t believe that he broke a statue in Flare’s restaurant for practically no reason. I get that the sword is important to him but then you confront the guy outside. You don’t pick a fight where you can hurt innocent civilians. It’s also worth noting that Ryuma clearly went for a headshot against Shirano. So he was going to murder a guy for lightly bumping into his sword? Even after the guy apologized?

It’s hard to just overlook that. Particularly as it isn’t really played off as a bad thing either. It’s more of a comedic moment because Shirano had the skills to stop the attack and defeat Ryuma instantly but otherwise it could have been bad. This does also raise a power scaling issue later on. I mean a good rage mode easily answers that question but it’s why we should have had more of a fight later on.

I also think the climax raises some questions on exactly how the scheme worked. It seems to me like the dragon whistle actually works really well because the dragon never tried to attack them. So if you have a dragon working for you, then you can just blow villages up all the time. Why even bother with elaborate traps and schemes? It just seems unnecessary. There could be world building reasons around that like not wanting to attract attention but it seemed like the villain would make things harder on himself here.

D.R. is a fairly underwhelming villain. The guy can’t fight and isn’t too strong so he’s the kind of guy who really just hides in the back and hopes that things will work out. Flare is a decent heroine but a little too gullible. The fact that she was so quick to turn on Ryuma with no evidence was annoying. I get that it was traumatic but she really has no reason to jump in with the mob there. As you can tell I was not a big fan of the cast overall. Shirano would be the strongest character here by default. He may not go out very well but the guy is interesting all the way through and does help to enhance the special. With a better ending he would have fared even better.

Overall, Monsters is a fun special but I don’t see there being a lot of replay value. There just isn’t a reason to watch it for a second time. The best moment is a quick scene that plays after the credits though. I’ve actually watched that one a few times now. It’s got a lot of replay value but you could Youtube that instead of watching the whole thing again. The connection to a certain franchise is one of those open secrets where everybody basically knows about it, but I won’t spoil that in case you don’t know. If they could have hidden the connection more then the scene would really hit extra hard but then you lose out on some of the marketing angles so it’s a double edged sword. Regardless I do think this is worth a watch, particularly with how short it is.

Overall 6//10

The Vanishing Review

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All right, it’s time for a rather brutal stretch of film reviews so get ready folk! First up we have a title that hits rock bottom. Films about a kidnapping need to be pretty careful as it is. You don’t want to get too grim and especially if you are going for a more realistic angle rather than stylistic. If you have a lot of thrilling fight scenes and a hype climax you can do some things with the genre but the ending is really a huge component. This film fails in all of that and especially with its decision to have the villain appear so often. You really don’t want to see that guy and yet he doesn’t want to get off of your screen.

The movie starts with Rex and his girlfriend Saskia driving towards their big vacation spot. Unfortunately they run out of gas in the middle of a dark tunnel so despite Saskia begging Rex to stay with her, he runs off to find some help/get some gas. He eventually returns and she’s upset but they agree to move on. Unfortunately she is kidnapped immediately afterwards and it happens so fast that nobody even noticed. Years later, people still don’t know what happened but Rex is determined to find her. The kidnapper has been taunting him with letters and Rex is ready to finally catch him.

However, the viewer knows who the murderer is right away. That’s because a massive part of the film is from the villain, Raymond’s perspective. This was a massive mistake if you ask me. Who wants to see this psychotic villain reveling in his victory? We see him go through the process of learning how to kidnap people and how this was all premeditated. The guy wanted to commit the ultimate evil to prove that he could and it’s all pretty twisted. So the movie spends a large chunk getting back to the present where we see the events play out from his point of view. Will Rex be able to catch him?

Well Rex is one of the biggest suckers I’ve seen so that’s going to be tricky. You have a guy who has been sending him notes and when he finally shows up, Rex doesn’t take him down? I’m not saying you murder him of course since you need answers but you definitely knock him out first of all. Then you either take him to the cops if you are confident that you have enough answers or you take him to a secluded area where nobody will bother you and get some answers out of him. Either way in no scenario should this guy be calling the shot anymore.

The usual hostage type defense doesn’t work in this case since it has been years and the odds of her being alive are basically 0. So at this point you’re avenging her. I dare say you don’t even need to find out exactly what happened, just end this guy but if you must know, find that out first. No, Rex decides to just get in the guy’s car and listen to him monologue for hours about how genius his plan was. Can you really imagine listening to the guy who murdered your girlfriend go on for hours and hours without doing anything?

I really didn’t like Rex the whole time but it started even earlier than that. Ditching Saskia in the tunnel was a really lousy way to start things. How could you ever dream of doing that? She easily could have been murdered right there and then. I also feel like that’s the kind of thing that you never really forget. Years could pass and you would still remember that. Of course you would, because that shows what will happen when the chips are down. In a stressful moment he did end up leaving her.’

It’s too bad because she seemed like a nice character. Saskia doesn’t actually get to appear much at all though. Rex ultimately gets a new girlfriend in Lieneke which is very questionable at best. I don’t see how you move on before you’ve got any kind of closure. Particularly with how tragic the ending was here. It just doesn’t make sense. The film seemed to be focusing on how Rex was also going rather insane like the odd scene of him staring at a computer screen and sort of playing something like Pong with Saskia’s names jumping all around the screen and bumping into each other.

I’m all for a character being persistent in something like this. He should never quit and should keep on obsessing until he has answers. It’s just the fact that he makes all of the wrong decisions and lets himself be manipulated. There’s a scene of him essentially offing himself with how ridiculous it is. I dare say that it’s the single dumbest decision I’ve ever seen a main character make. It’s a pretty bold claim but I would absolutely defend it. Lets play this out for a minute.

A guy who self identifies as the murderer and who is clearly insane says he is going to drug you so that you can find out exactly how your girlfriend died. Are you actually going to drink the drugs that he gave you? This guy could not have been any more clear in exactly what was going to happen here. I won’t spoil the ending in case you ever want to watch it but I would advise against that. This is a bottom tier, z grade film and the ending is pretty awful. It makes perfect sense given the scene that just played out but that’s the problem. It’s hard to picture anybody possibly making this decision. It’s flat out nutty!

There’s just nothing to enjoy about this film. It’s a really dreary, dark film with a very small cast and most of the screen time is about the main villain. All of his scenes are just nauseating. I’m glad the film didn’t try to make him sympathetic or anything because that would have really been insane but the ending is completely unsatisfying. It could have done more to condemn the character rather than just doing nothing. We just don’t need to see this guy. Psychotic villains like this don’t deserve to be getting that level of screen time. We know he’s crazy so there’s no other context needed. If you have to show off his ideas then cut all of his screen time for the flashbacks and have him explain things in the car. It would still be a royal chore to listen to but it’s better than seeing that guy.

Overall, This film will have you shaking your head all the way. At no point in the film’s run was it ever enjoyable. Even before the kidnapping the whole scene in the tunnel left things off on the wrong foot. I can’t say that I really had much hopes for the film but even with that, this manages to go under them. A film needs to be enjoyable at the end of the day. That’s the whole point of entertainment and this one was not fun. So stay as far away from this one as you can. There are no benefits to checking it out. Try something a bit more intense like Justice League or something like that.

Overall 0/10