Disclaimer This review is of the edited TV 14 version of the film. All thoughts written below only pertain to this version as the uncut review would likely be lower.

It’s time for a Halloween horror film! The Fog presents us with a film that follows the classic formula. The characters are slowly offed as the film progresses and you have to try and figure out how many characters will really survive the experience. It’s a formula that always churns out a low score, but it remains entertaining while watching it. In that sense, you could consider The Fog a success for its genre…but that may be a stretch.

The plot involves a nice little town that is about to celebrate its 100 year anniversary. They are dedicating it to their founders who made such a great voyage back in the days. Stevie has her own radio station as she plays some tunes to celebrate and the world seems to be at peace. Unfortunately, a mist…I mean a fog is rolling into town. The Weatherman doesn’t think that it’s anything to worry about, but a few fisherman disappear at sea. One of the bodies is found, but it looks like he died years ago. Mr. Malone also finds out a startling truth about the founders. Will The Fog consume the entire town…or will it engulf the planet!? Only time will tell.

As I said earlier, the film plays out rather predictably. We see a few poor travelers who are drunk (of course) and they notice the fog. Unfortunately, they were not ready to take on these supernatural forces and are quickly dealt with. A third member doesn’t notice that the other two have been defeated and he doesn’t put up much of a fight since he barely notices when he bites the big one. After that we get a “peaceful” break for a good 20-30 minutes. Then, the fog strikes back, but this time it’s hear to stay. These guys don’t plan on leaving until they fulfill their objective.

Mr. Malone found the book from the dead people so he should have known what they wanted, but he couldn’t bring himself to keep on reading after he heard about the tragedies. This was a job for the main character and it was a tense moment since he would have to dash a few feet to the couch to grab the book and the fog was approaching. Luckily, he only took his time to contemplate briefly as he was able to make it back. This is a true main character right? Well…..I suppose that he helped out in the end.

Mr. Malone isn’t really one of the main characters, but the casualties really begin to rise because of him. If he had given the villains what they wanted in the first place..maybe they would have left. Okay, they still weren’t going to leave without destroying 7 people, but maybe he could have bought the heroes some time. Hiding in the basement until the climax is not the way to become a likable character.

Stevie is the main character although she doesn’t see a lot of action. She’s always ready with a message to broadcast, but she sounds so dead over the radio. I definitely wouldn’t be tuning into that station at night! (Something a little more lively would be my preference) The stakes get real when her son gets involved in the crisis, but Stevie just doesn’t do much. She’s really a bystander in this whole occurrence and her brief fight against the two undead guys may have been good for her, but I would just call it plot hax.

Nick Castle is one of the main leads and he gets more chase scenes to himself. He was just driving down the road one day when he saw a hitchhiker. He let her in and it turns out that she is just heading in the direction that he is. They drive and we learn that Elizabeth doesn’t have any more morals than Nick so they devolve into the fake romance tropes. I say fake because that’s how it seems given how quickly they moved past the friend zone. Not cool! Nick’s big moment is where he saves a kid or when he goes for the book. That’s good for him I suppose, but I can’t say that I ever found him to be likable.

Elizabeth is the hitchhiker and she’s no better than Nick. She didn’t notice when one of the guys got up from a stretcher even though that would definitely make some sound and she didn’t help a whole lot in the climax. She’s definitely another character who didn’t really stand out in the end and ended up being a negative aspect for the film. (Let’s face it, most of the characters will fall in this pile!)

What about Joey? There’s no Joey to be found, but we do have Blake. Blake is the main villain of the film and he’s the leader of “The Fog.” The Fog is created to mask the locations of his army and they all attack when he gives the go ahead. I don’t think that they are bullet proof and they don’t seem very quick. They may have some slight super strength, but it’s definitely not a huge amount since they can barely break a door down. Blake’s design isn’t bad although it’s not quite as memorable as your average horror villain. The film doesn’t try to make you sympathize with his goal, which is always a plus since I wouldn’t have bought into it anyway. As a villain, Blake really isn’t bad. I forgot how awful he may have been during his sob story, but as an undead he had his villain morals. He only went for the destruction of his opponent and he didn’t beat around the bush. He easily beats the average horror villain.

One of the reasons why this kind of horror film never ends up getting a positive score is that everyone dying just lacks the replay value appeal. Even for the initial watch, you’re kind of hoping that the heroes can start to fight back, but it never happens. I think the film also went a little too far when the nice old lady is taken out by the villains. Did that really have to happen!? The film just should have made the baby sitter a beefy 30 year old who talks a good game. It would have been more fun. Another victim is the Weatherman, but he makes the same mistake as the old lady. Both of them open the door and then give the outside world their back. It’s not very wise to do such a thing when you’re on such a shady island during a fog storm.

The violence isn’t terrible considering the hooks that the villains use. We do see a body that is a little graphic and we can see the villains stabbing the heroes. We just usually do not see the damage that the stabs are doing, which is good even if we can still hear everything. Aside from that aspect, another negative would be the romance moment that has nothing to do with anything. It’s a classic horror trope that someone has to make out at least once before a jump scene, but it’s a trope that should really just fade away at this point.

It should be noted that we do get a twist ending. Let’s face it, you never want to have a horror film that doesn’t have a twist right? Well, let’s just say that Blake wanted to have the last laugh and boy was he going to get it! You almost feel bad for his victim, but the victim was being a little too inquisitive. “Why didn’t Blake destroy me when he had the chance!?” is basically his last line. Way to tempt the villain sir……

Overall, There were a few other characters to be found in this film, but there’s not a whole lot to say about them. We had the “tough” sidekick to the lady giving the speech, but they were both just around to show the audience (us) how to react to certain plot twists. The character cast was pretty weak and this is really just your average horror film where everyone dies until they figure out how to avenge the wrongs that their ancestors did. Nothing happens for a while in the film so you begin to wonder when the villains are going to strike. As you’re waiting, the film isn’t getting any better. There’s nothing special here and it really isn’t a fun film. If you want to watch a scary film that also has heart..check out the Subspace Emissary cutscenes from Super Smash Bros Brawl. That’s sure to send a shiver down your spine!

Overall 3/10